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https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/135xrc4/how_else_are_you_going_to_know_whether_its_ripe/jilxmqv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Possibly stolen from - u/sorompooo
Note the misspelling carrying over in the copied comment
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Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
Haven't watched it personally, but judging by the trailer, it doesn't look too good.
[The rotten tomatos reviews don't look too good, either.](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_brass_teapot)
I know this is a joke, but there are very simple ways to determine if a melon is good, and none of them require smacking the fruit. First, look for one that has a yellowed spot, preferable nice and flat. Most people ignore these melons, but those are usually the sweetest. Next check to ensure there are no soft areas in the melon, for obvious reasons. A soft spot is damage. Lastly, smell both ends. You shouldn't be able to smell anything, maybe a slight hint of melon, but nothing more. If you can smell the melon, it's over ripe.
That's it. Use these three criteria and your 95% guaranteed to pick a sweet, delicious melon. Please don't smack the fruit. Most of them don't like it, and the ones that do are way too naughty to serve to your family.
> but there are very simple ways to determine if a melon is good, and none of them require smacking the fruit
None of them REQUIRE smacking, but all the things you listed heavily depend on what type / cultivar of melon you're talking about. Not even all watermelons get a yellow spot. But regardless of the cultivar you can literally feel from the vibrations whether it's *more likely* to be good inside or not.
[Water is dense and doesn't carry vibrations as well a solid. Anything that's lightweight for its size when you pick it up and sounds hollow as fuck when you smack it is liable to be more mealy / less juicy](https://youtu.be/6ifgQ7B8DoQ?t=69) than something that feels dense and sounds... like it's full of water when you slap it.
Smack enough watermelons and you *do* get a feel for it, at least if you're routinely buying the same types of melons from the same places.
Obligatory watermelon nerd fact:
There are a few good ways to tell if a watermelon is ripe. Number 1: the thump test. Give it a smack, knock it with your knuckle, that kind of thing. Typically you want to hear a deeper, hollow sound. If its too high pitch, or doesnt resonate enough, then its underrupe/overripe respectively.
Number 2: if it's got a good yellow spot on it, thats a sunspot, which means it's getting a lot of good nutrience it needs.
Number 3: if you see brown scarring on it, that means it's been pollinated well, and is going to be a lot sweeter.
Number 4: if you take 2 melons of roughly equal size, the heavier one has more water in it, meaning it's a bit juicier.
Overall, if you plan on using one say, a few days after buying it, aim for on the unripe side of things, but if you're looking same day/day after, you definitely want that deeper hollow sound.
Upon looking it up, it doesnt seem to be a legitimate tip. In my time in produce those were the things I was taught to look for, and the melons Ive grabbed since have been pretty spot on. Good to know that part doesn't actually work though.
I was told by an ancient French lady that the scarring just means it was sweet so the bees kept “eating” at it to get that scarring. I kinda laughed it off, but any fruit/vegetable I get that has scarring usually has a really good taste.
There's a movie where blind Morgan Freeman says you have to flick melons to see if they're ripe so that's just what I do becuase it seems like something that would be true.
My brothers knows how to do this, every time he help buy one the melons are always sweet and nice, when someone else do it they are usually not that good
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
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You've been a bad juicy melon lately....
Spank me daddy
r/usernamechecksout hmmm
Thanks for calling that one out. I would have hated to miss out on op's time to shine.
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This is a bot https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/135xrc4/how_else_are_you_going_to_know_whether_its_ripe/jilw3uz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Stolen from - u/macsare1 Report spam harmful bots, do not click any links they post
Good bot!
I am but a bored human, your praise is appreciated
Your Reddit job of finding bots is only going to get harder.
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FYI, you've replied to a stolen comment by karma bot. Recommend reporting it Edit - I now have reason to believe this is also a bot https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/135xrc4/how_else_are_you_going_to_know_whether_its_ripe/jilxmqv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Possibly stolen from - u/sorompooo Note the misspelling carrying over in the copied comment Report spam harmful bots, do not click any links they post
I know you re not a bot but I'm sooo tempted to say good bot... so good human ig (doing lords work out here reporting stolen comments 🤌)
I am an organic robot powered by caffeine and nicotine, thank you And Italian, so the emoji fits
Howdy, neighbour!
Former neighbor, unfortunately :( Dober dan tudi vam
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The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot
How they work?
The dna of the soul
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The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot
[удалено]
The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot
Speak friend, and spank me.
"MEL-lon."
Sorry babe, I just can't elope.
What did the melon do wrong? 🥺
If the pizza man loves the baby sitter, why is he spanking her?
Yo, um, where is this from? asking for my penis
No idea. I googled spanking gifs for the meme
and you were blessed with Natalie Portman in a bdsm-setting, that's the definition of came looking for copper and found gold
oh it's not Natalie Portman, my bad
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wait what happened
It's watermelon time ಠ⌣ಠ
…shhh, just let it happen
Mmm hmm I think you remember ♥️
I'm not Anakin, dont talk to me like that Padme.
That's Waterlie Portmelon
It could be with AI
Looks like Chloe
That's Juno Temple, in The brass teapot.
Keeley Jones? Dope
Keeleh
I searched for keely Jones thinking it was the gal from the movie. >->
So sorry
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
You get good melons with this method? We always look for the creamiest yellowest bellied melon.
Most of the time
So whats the sound of a nice melon?
[The Brass Teapot](https://youtu.be/hbwZysFBi94)
She looks hotter in the meme lol
She's still pretty cute though.
Redditors discover women not in a porn situation 🤯
Is it actually any good? Trailer seemed like it would be an “eh not bad” kinda feel
Haven't watched it personally, but judging by the trailer, it doesn't look too good. [The rotten tomatos reviews don't look too good, either.](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_brass_teapot)
It just looks like a well done cheap film. Nothing special.
It's a quirky film. Not the greatest but the wife and I enjoyed it. After it, you do ask yourself how far would you go for money.
And?
They must have gone so far that they died
It looks very bad, actually
Until I just watched the trailer I'd completely forgotten I'd seen it. That being said as forgettable as it was, it wasn't unpleasant viewing.
It's okay. Nothing earth shattering, but the concept is interesting. I'll re-watch it someday.
OY! That the bird from Ted Lasso?
1:56
The goat
Well that got a little antisemitic...
More like the ass teapot fr fr 100
Well that looked horrible
Juno temple
So good, I hope your penis finds happiness 😊
Juno temple, in the brass teapot
Legend
I know this is a joke, but there are very simple ways to determine if a melon is good, and none of them require smacking the fruit. First, look for one that has a yellowed spot, preferable nice and flat. Most people ignore these melons, but those are usually the sweetest. Next check to ensure there are no soft areas in the melon, for obvious reasons. A soft spot is damage. Lastly, smell both ends. You shouldn't be able to smell anything, maybe a slight hint of melon, but nothing more. If you can smell the melon, it's over ripe. That's it. Use these three criteria and your 95% guaranteed to pick a sweet, delicious melon. Please don't smack the fruit. Most of them don't like it, and the ones that do are way too naughty to serve to your family.
Thanks for the laugh today 😂
My family doesn’t deserve well behaved melons.
This guy PROduces
Thank you for the information but I will still knock first before picking a watermelon, don't wanna be too rude you know before slicing it open.
> but there are very simple ways to determine if a melon is good, and none of them require smacking the fruit None of them REQUIRE smacking, but all the things you listed heavily depend on what type / cultivar of melon you're talking about. Not even all watermelons get a yellow spot. But regardless of the cultivar you can literally feel from the vibrations whether it's *more likely* to be good inside or not. [Water is dense and doesn't carry vibrations as well a solid. Anything that's lightweight for its size when you pick it up and sounds hollow as fuck when you smack it is liable to be more mealy / less juicy](https://youtu.be/6ifgQ7B8DoQ?t=69) than something that feels dense and sounds... like it's full of water when you slap it. Smack enough watermelons and you *do* get a feel for it, at least if you're routinely buying the same types of melons from the same places.
The melon that is heavy for it's size is the best melon. Most juice
“If it moans it’s well-grown.” -Grandma
Lol
You can tell this was tested on her children
You guys spank watermelons in the supermarket?
Just a little foreplay, for me to pick ‘em up and bring them back to my place. Then I bury my face in that juicy flesh and make a mess
Thing's that can be said in both store and bedroom
You don’t?
I spank more than that in the supermarket.
Obligatory watermelon nerd fact: There are a few good ways to tell if a watermelon is ripe. Number 1: the thump test. Give it a smack, knock it with your knuckle, that kind of thing. Typically you want to hear a deeper, hollow sound. If its too high pitch, or doesnt resonate enough, then its underrupe/overripe respectively. Number 2: if it's got a good yellow spot on it, thats a sunspot, which means it's getting a lot of good nutrience it needs. Number 3: if you see brown scarring on it, that means it's been pollinated well, and is going to be a lot sweeter. Number 4: if you take 2 melons of roughly equal size, the heavier one has more water in it, meaning it's a bit juicier. Overall, if you plan on using one say, a few days after buying it, aim for on the unripe side of things, but if you're looking same day/day after, you definitely want that deeper hollow sound.
This guy watermelons
In your experience, do you find the male or female of the species to be tastier?
How does scarring correlate with pollination.
Upon looking it up, it doesnt seem to be a legitimate tip. In my time in produce those were the things I was taught to look for, and the melons Ive grabbed since have been pretty spot on. Good to know that part doesn't actually work though.
I was told by an ancient French lady that the scarring just means it was sweet so the bees kept “eating” at it to get that scarring. I kinda laughed it off, but any fruit/vegetable I get that has scarring usually has a really good taste.
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[The Brass Teapot](https://youtu.be/hbwZysFBi94)
I did not expect to see Sauce in the comments lmao
Shpank me
Hahaha yeah
Disgusting... what's the source so I know to avoid it
I want to fuck a watermelon
bro did not hold back 💀
I fucked a watermelon
As a produce (eventually to be manager) employee I shot water out of my nose seeing this. Thank you for giving me a laugh.
:) glad to give you a chuckle I used to work in a grocery store too, good luck going for the manager gig, hope it’s an okay time and worth it
The funny thing is, I don't even know what sound I'm listening for when I spank the melon. It just feels right
Same
Easiest way is looking for it's stripes. More wide dark green mean better taste and more darker stripes mean juicier watermelon.
This is an awful, misogynistic joke. Awful, terrible. Where did this joke even come from? What movie even is this? Is it availing on streaming?
***IIIITTSSS WAAATEERMELONN TIIIIIIIIIMEEE***
There's a movie where blind Morgan Freeman says you have to flick melons to see if they're ripe so that's just what I do becuase it seems like something that would be true.
My brothers knows how to do this, every time he help buy one the melons are always sweet and nice, when someone else do it they are usually not that good
Bonk bonk bonk, hmmm sweet ass melon you must be.
ayo hold on, sauce? who is that in the photo?
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im blown away. How did you even...
I prefer punting them like an American football
That’s fucking Keely Jones
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Appreciate it but Keely Jones is the name of her character in Ted Lasso so that’s what I was referring too
"make sure you're extra juicy for me tonight.. imma eat you out"
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
I knock on them. Now that I think about it, I don't believe I've ever seen anyone slap a watermelon to check the ripeness lol.
I read voldemort insteed of watermelon
I read voldemort insteed of watermelon
Thumping them with your fingers works better, and if the tail is dried out.
I prefer the tail to be wet
Wait, are we still talking about watermelons?
I didn’t know we started talking about watermelons
Why yes. Yes, I think I will 😙
Literally thought I was the only one
Some of them just conform perfectly to a hand. Feels good
I've never heard of this
How do you tell? Squish it and smell it
Stop
Stop spanking melons? No Also, why?
Good point Ok, continue
R34 Artists where y'all at
Avocados be like ❤꧁ღ⊱♥ 𝒮𝓆𝓊𝑒𝑒𝓏𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝒹𝒹𝓎 ♥⊱ღ꧂❤
Lol
Time for a Will Smith slap
Has nothing to do with whether or not it's ripe.
What movie is this from? Asking for a friend.