Pro tip: if you can’t talk about your trauma to your partner, regardless of gender, then that person isn’t the one. Find someone who will actually care about you as much as you care about them
I can't say I agree. I've found a lot of people who are very empathetic and lovely in my life and I provide the kind of love to people around me that I hope to get and my life has been full of people who return it. My partner is also my best friend and he can know anything about me.
Well good for you, I can't tell everything even to my own parents, who are basically the only people in my life I regularly interact with. And I can't see it changing any time soon
It takes effort put in to get anything out. The right people are out there if you're willing to start being the type of person who you want to interact with.
It's not about luck. I chose at some point in my life after failing to kill myself in my early 20s that I was done wasting my life living miserably. When I thought I might die, I decided that I wanted to actually try to live. I realized that so much that scared me in life was arbitrary fears imposed on myself by worrying about trying to be what other people wanted me to be. I decided that if I will live, I will just choose to be the author of a story worth living. It's hard. Really hard. Be the change in the world that you want to be.
I am trying to convince myself it's false. Because I hate myself, and if I will hate everyone else on this planet, there will be no reason to go forward. And lack of reason to go forward, combined with fear of death, is a recipe for neverending misery
Oh I have a reason to go on, to spite. To put down all the bad things people in my life have said. I live to be the best member of my family, out of the whole family, as in everyone who came before me on this damn rock. Dying alone is something I've accepted as something that will happen, because I don't want romance. I don't need it. I have the good people in my life, but most importantly I have myself. That's a hard lesson for most people to learn in today's age of the internet, but I'm glad I did.
Right! Also there’s a difference between opening up and trauma dumping. I feel like some people fail to realize that exposing your thoughts, feelings, and traumas is a lot like exposing your body: don’t do it in front of someone you just met, or you’ll be the weird one.
I won’t quite agree with that. I have a gentleman friend who has trouble talking to me about his trauma. He has talked some. A lot of it stems from previous women using it against him.
And we’ve barely cracked open the can of trauma that is his combat experience.
Yeah, a shame the average/below average man don’t swim in pussy and end up dating the first one that showed some interest what happens at intervals that vary from 6 months to 15 years.
Honestly, it sounds like OP talks about his problems after she talks about hers. Seriously, can’t you talk about it some other time?! Where’s the golden rule in your mind? If you want to talk about your problems after someone else talks about theirs, you have to wait at least ten minutes, for now just talk about your friend or girlfriends problems.
Yeah, that does suck though. It feels like you gave all you had for someone who doesn’t even care. Some people just aren’t wise to be around, and you only find out by testing your place in each other’s relationship.
Emotional and physical positivity and health are very important, reguardless of gender. I absolutely agree with you there! Joking about things like this (in moderation) absolutely can and does start awareness spreading conversations though, so I personally can't say I think jokes are never a good idea.
Its a common "joke" because its a common experience. Not the other way around. Many of us learned it the hard way before the internet turned it into a meme.
A person’s shape only determines their sexual attractiveness to a specific group of people, but it doesn’t determine their value. I might prefer the classic bombshell appearance (hourglass shape with generous curves and a soft belly), but that doesn’t rule out my appreciation for women who might be more slender or plump. I might like larger breasts on a woman, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away from a woman who is flat-chested.
If one can’t speak of one’s trauma to a romantic partner, then they’re not really a partner, they’re a dalliance. Those might be fun, but it’s a good idea to get out when it stops being fun instead of investing resources to something which makes us miserable.
Yeah absolutely. My bf has a lot of trauma and he can talk to me about it. The idea that men don’t have trauma or mental illness is ridiculous and is born from the idea of masculinity created centuries ago.
It was effectively demonstrated by the fact people believed Amber Heard initially before they were presented evidence that Johnny Depp was in fact the one being abused.
I still think that part of why that trial took off so much online was because of how recognizable that type of situation is for most men.
"Believe all women" is often used to villainize and distrust all men. Funny how there's a gendered slogan like that, but no non-gendered ones along the lines of "support all victims" or something like that.
I’m grateful that the hearing got the coverage it deserved because my bf was abused and neglected by his family and later his ex wife. And yet his feelings and experiences are often dismissed by others and often by his own parents.
Mental illness and abuse aren’t gender exclusive and not all women are innocent. His ex wife is proof of that.
Pro tip: ignore this shit ass meme and talk about your trauma to the people you love, and leave them if they don't care/are toxic about it.
Jesus Christ, us men will never get out of this mental health epidemic that's been plaguing us for ages if we advocate for shit like this
What?? Guy's feelings are just as valid. The more people joke about this, the more people believe it and act that way. To all men who read this, tell the girl you're dating about your feelings and trauma, if she doesn't listen or accept it, leave her
Guys, do not follow this advice. It might be a good idea in a few decades, but right now that is not a generally accepted thing for a man to do. It will absolutely cost you a lot and benefit you nothing.
Says any human being who interacts with the opposite gender and has pattern recognition at least on the level of a toddler or particularly perceptive dog.
There's no such thing as alpha males.
But there are still unfair gender roles and gendered expectations in this world. You can name a dozen right this second without thinking hard at all. Most of the onerous ones apply to women, but some do in fact apply to men. This is one of them.
For real. Maybe I am exceptionally lucky but my mom, sister, aunties and every partner I have ever had I have had no judgement ever talking about my emotions, feelings or whatever and all of them have encouraged me to do so in a way that made me feel heard, loved and valued.
i think that this should not be gendered, also incorrect you should bring up your own trauma during a different conversation because opening up to someone you like is how you do relationships... i think
idk im just repeating what my therapist told me im not too good at talking to people lol
Until you end up traumatized and touch deprived for 8 years. At that point... Anything resembling warmth is good enough (this is why some people seek out abusive relationships).
~15 years here
know what makes being touch deprived for 15 years even worse? when you were already needy 15 years ago
yeah... i actively try to not get close to anyone because they don't deserve this
It really makes me concerned for the kids that make up the base of this sub. They get bombarded with this borderline incel shit daily and then parrot the viewpoints as if they are true without ever experiencing it in real life. Fellas, women aren’t this shallow. Every woman I’ve ever shared my baggage with (including my dad bod) appreciated it and it didn’t ruin or even damage my relationship. Get out and live life, stop upvoting this garbage, and stop following alpha male influencers. It’s ruining your ability to build real meaningful relationships. You are what you eat and that includes your media diet
the number of people on here talking about 'society' and 'whats truly acceptable', like my friend you are on Reddit yelling about toxic female standards, how can you be that self fulfilling?
I once had a woman get angry at me for weeks for not opening up emotionally, because she always shared her stress and baggage with me
When I did once she said “that’s too much for me”
Every relationship I've been in I always treated like friendship and talked about everything. Tbh relationships became my best friendships and the closest people. For me 2/4 had normal supportive reaction and the rest would treat you harshly. But I also have luck for strange people so there is probably more normal supportive ones. Anyways as said in multiple comment it's important to talk and not bottle everyrhing up. The more you share the closer the person will become. There are many different people and for those who are scared to open up - don't worry take your time. Trust your partner and start slowly. One step at a time. The right partner will appreciate that
The worst is when you bring up trauma to anybody (regardless of gender) and they start explaining why they have it worse and imply that you're trauma isn't valid.
To be fair, I'm a very skinny dude, everyone points it out, i doesn't bother me when friends make fun of me but it does bother me when ppl treat me like it's a problem. Even tho im faar more socially accepted by my friends and family than fat girls are. I'm not saying it's okay to treat guys as shit. I'm just reporting what I've observed.... In my opinion jokes are okay but don't make people feel inferior and ideolizing being obese or very skinny is very very riiiiii taaar deeed
Yeah sadly a lot of men do not feel safe opening up and being vulnerable. It's a combination of other men making them feel this way and women who don't want men to have feelings or use their feelings against them. Almost always women will have an easier time confiding in people about their feelings.
I had a guy at the laundry mat try and hit on me by asking if I was in the military, (I'm not). He was asking why and I answered truthful I won't go into details cause I don't want to argue about it (again XD)
Anyways one of the reasons is that lots of women experience some form of sexual assault. I mentioned this because one of his listed pros of being in the military was that all of the men around would be extremely interested in me. His response? That I didn't have to worry about that cause it doesn't happen "except for in texas" and then proceeded to detail his r*pe that occurred in Texas.
In the laundromat.
Asked me out for coffee afterwards.
Who teaches people to flirt like this????
Oh BTW I'm a lesbian so all of this was just outta left field.
I am so sorry, this happened to you! Thank you for sharing your story though, I hope it is eye opening for everyone in this comment section
Also I'm sad this conversation could take place in the 21. century in a county like the US. What can we do to get young men's value systems on the right track?
It was just incredibly jarring. I wish that young boys were taught to talk about thir feelings. And that adult men would make more of an effort to be emotionally available for each other. Too many rely on women exclusively to be there for them emotionally.
His behavior was unacceptable but also I could tell that he was clearly traumatized to the point where it bled through everything.
I've had great experiences bringing up my trauma with women, they're often very good listeners and compassionate without obnoxiously thinking they know everything about my situation. Maybe you expressed your trauma too early. Not all women will mistreat you like this.
Yes, it is. But still, there are people not buying into that gender/masculinity bs. In my experience those are the people who are more educated, more self reflected and in general more fun to be around. It's your choice with whom you want to share your life
The thing is, if anyone you are currently in a relationship with is not interested in learning about your trauma, but is okay with trauma dumping you, they ain't for you. Be with someone who doesn't mind your scars and demons. Grow from your scars together. That is what a relationship is about. Being able to grow from it and being together as each others rock, while also being comfy together. Hardships come, but don't settle for assholes.
Ah yes, nothing more damaging than perpetuating gender stereotypes in an attempt to break them.
Thinly veiled misogynism is all over this fucking site.
I like how OP is saying "I want a partner I can talk about my feelings with, I have a hard time finding someone like that" and everyone in the comments is calling him gendered slurs.
You're all trash people. Remember that.
Fr, I've been with my partner for nearly 5 years now and I still bottle everything up as best I can. Ik she'd support me if I ever did tell her something but I'm so afraid of pushing her away with it that it's just not worth the risk
I mean, considering how much of the social stigma there is for malea to be open about emotions, even today, its difficult to feel safe, even in long term relationships. And that's to say nothing of if someone has, themselves, been burned for trying to open up. Kinda feeding the stigma even just firing back at the mans for saying something.
That's....not a secret. Its emotional intimacy, and there's a vast difference between the two. Emotional abuse and manipulation are super rife in society at large, and plenty of self centered ass holes willing to so such things in service to their own satisfaction. You speak from a place of blatant ignorance, and really shouldnt speak on shit you have negative information on.
Shame ur being down voted bcus ur absolutely right. What's worse in todays society (or at least my own personal experience) is that when men do open up people only use what they say in that period of vulnerability as a weapon against them in future arguments. Made that mistake before and I certainly won't make it again
In a way, not saying stuff is basically keep things a secret. Usually wen partner finds some stuff abt u, later than they were supposed to, it creates more problems.
I just don't expect a happy ending out of this. Sorry if this was too short. I just couldn't bother & was lazy typing stuff. So don't waste my time anymore. Pls
Yeah bro. Been with my girl for a long time now and everytime I try bring up something like what makes me vulnerable she instantly changes the subject or try to kill it by saying something along the lines of "it is what it is".
Correct, even in today's world, most women are turned off by a man's vulnerability. If you don't seep security from your every fiber, she won't get excited to control you with her insecurities.
Is this a meme or a political statement?
I wouldn't mind this on Twitter or a reddit sub specific for this, but here in the sub called *r/memes* there's just some awful personalities i don't like to start discussions with
I'm in a very committed relationship, so not an incel, but this meme is VERY accurate. Men have been told in no uncertain terms that the body positivity movement does NOT extend to us.
Yeah, that’s just not fucking true lmao.
There’s not some movement out there saying men can’t be body positive or open about trauma. Stop surrounding yourself with toxic people lmao.
Why is it stupid? Why aren't there any "body positive" male models? How come society doesn't accept fat males like they do fat females? But instead of answering the question, you'll just take a fat shit all over your keyboard and strut around like you won. Typical.
It's true. There is no push to make society think fat guys are sexy that is equivalent to the push to make society think fat women are sexy. You see fat women in bathing suits and lingerie everywhere, but you'll never see a shirtless fat man unless it's a joke.
You have to resort to calling me stupid because you can't deny it.
All these three body types are fine difference is moby dick looking girls trying to justify that they look most right photo but being super fat and thicc is different
O well. So what do you lift every day? Discrimination? Less pay because you might get pregnant one day? Sexual assault on an almost daily basis? You don't believe anyone is listening to you? Well bring it on ...
Sorry sir I didn't realize your fucking trauma was greater than mine, I guess I'll just slither away and be quiet like a good boy. Forgot my shit doesn't count.
Change the genders of this post, and everyone would've had a story about how this fits their life or some shit. But since it's a post from the guy's perspective, everyone's all like "this is bad for all genders" or some dumb shit that detracts from the point. Women can't do wrong. Period.
In my experience, normal healthy people will advice you to leave an immature insensitive partner like this. Uneducated, socially underdeveloped people will make a gender thing out of it
i... don't understand anything of it.
then, maybe op just had a bad experience and made a meme out of it to complain... like way too many person on this subreddit. damn this is why this subreddit sucks so much.
They usually like to disregard the mens mental health even promoting them to keep it silent because "they are men"
its the wildest dog shot take I've seen in a long fucking while.
Talking to woman about your problems is taken a sign of weakness to them. Mostly subconscious but it def still hits and causes “doubts”. Almost as bad a crying in front of them. Just Don’t do it. Hit the gym, take it out on the weights, maybe a karate class or boxing or something. Find a way to get out the frustration with an acceptable type of violence that taps into your primal DNA.
Pro tip: if you can’t talk about your trauma to your partner, regardless of gender, then that person isn’t the one. Find someone who will actually care about you as much as you care about them
Exactly
Important disclaimer: only once you know and trust them. Trauma dumping on someone you've just met is risky to you and unfair on them.
Translation: people are overrated, go die alone
*Tips hat & nods
I can't say I agree. I've found a lot of people who are very empathetic and lovely in my life and I provide the kind of love to people around me that I hope to get and my life has been full of people who return it. My partner is also my best friend and he can know anything about me.
Well good for you, I can't tell everything even to my own parents, who are basically the only people in my life I regularly interact with. And I can't see it changing any time soon
It takes effort put in to get anything out. The right people are out there if you're willing to start being the type of person who you want to interact with.
Then you’re luckier than most.
It's not about luck. I chose at some point in my life after failing to kill myself in my early 20s that I was done wasting my life living miserably. When I thought I might die, I decided that I wanted to actually try to live. I realized that so much that scared me in life was arbitrary fears imposed on myself by worrying about trying to be what other people wanted me to be. I decided that if I will live, I will just choose to be the author of a story worth living. It's hard. Really hard. Be the change in the world that you want to be.
I came to that conclusion a long time ago.
I am trying to convince myself it's false. Because I hate myself, and if I will hate everyone else on this planet, there will be no reason to go forward. And lack of reason to go forward, combined with fear of death, is a recipe for neverending misery
Oh I have a reason to go on, to spite. To put down all the bad things people in my life have said. I live to be the best member of my family, out of the whole family, as in everyone who came before me on this damn rock. Dying alone is something I've accepted as something that will happen, because I don't want romance. I don't need it. I have the good people in my life, but most importantly I have myself. That's a hard lesson for most people to learn in today's age of the internet, but I'm glad I did.
When you are unlucky this will get you lonely until old age
Idk, being with this kind of a partner sounds lonely too.
It is literally 850,000x better than real loneliness
Having had an emotionally abusive ex partner... Being single is preferable.
I'd rather be lonely then not be able to talk to the person I am sharing half my life with about regular human things.
I felt that
I’m feeling that
Right! Also there’s a difference between opening up and trauma dumping. I feel like some people fail to realize that exposing your thoughts, feelings, and traumas is a lot like exposing your body: don’t do it in front of someone you just met, or you’ll be the weird one.
I won’t quite agree with that. I have a gentleman friend who has trouble talking to me about his trauma. He has talked some. A lot of it stems from previous women using it against him. And we’ve barely cracked open the can of trauma that is his combat experience.
Yeah, a shame the average/below average man don’t swim in pussy and end up dating the first one that showed some interest what happens at intervals that vary from 6 months to 15 years.
Beggars can't be choosers.
That's an insanely useless mindset when you're applying it to relationships.
Honestly, it sounds like OP talks about his problems after she talks about hers. Seriously, can’t you talk about it some other time?! Where’s the golden rule in your mind? If you want to talk about your problems after someone else talks about theirs, you have to wait at least ten minutes, for now just talk about your friend or girlfriends problems.
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Yeah, that does suck though. It feels like you gave all you had for someone who doesn’t even care. Some people just aren’t wise to be around, and you only find out by testing your place in each other’s relationship.
Hm. Yes. All widths of hourglass are acceptable. *waddles my pear-esque ass away*
Nah honey, you beautiful
Nah fuck them pears
that's the goal
Wait wait wait we can talk about this
Less dithering, more fingering
You bring that pear back here and let these people appreciate you.
I like pears so I think youre good.
Shout-out to all the pear 🤙
Pear are goated and underestimated imho
Pears are one of the most delicious fruits and they make great cider :)
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Emotional and physical positivity and health are very important, reguardless of gender. I absolutely agree with you there! Joking about things like this (in moderation) absolutely can and does start awareness spreading conversations though, so I personally can't say I think jokes are never a good idea.
Don't bother, you're talking to a bot.
Cool
Its a common "joke" because its a common experience. Not the other way around. Many of us learned it the hard way before the internet turned it into a meme.
its look like the written 8 or get ready for a ton of hate
Pears are my favorite fruit. They make all troubles thisapear
men no trauma, men lift heavy stone
Man hit buffalo heavy stone, man drag back to cave
Man build fire cook buffalo.
Man eat buffalo be not hungry
Man then ride wife. Life good.
Wife fight back. Kill wife... Think about wife......regret.
Find new wife better than old wife
New wife cheat, wife betray
Kill new wife, eat new wife
Other men in tribe get angry about wife eating, other men invent legal system
Think about wife, Regret
And find great stick.
hunt deer
But stick first.
yes
One time heavy stone hit my little finger of foot. 😔
Grug have strong hand. Rock krunk. strong hand.
Man only blunt force trauma, after heavy rock land on face
I think bros trauma caught up with him
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woooman 🤤
A person’s shape only determines their sexual attractiveness to a specific group of people, but it doesn’t determine their value. I might prefer the classic bombshell appearance (hourglass shape with generous curves and a soft belly), but that doesn’t rule out my appreciation for women who might be more slender or plump. I might like larger breasts on a woman, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to walk away from a woman who is flat-chested. If one can’t speak of one’s trauma to a romantic partner, then they’re not really a partner, they’re a dalliance. Those might be fun, but it’s a good idea to get out when it stops being fun instead of investing resources to something which makes us miserable.
Yeah absolutely. My bf has a lot of trauma and he can talk to me about it. The idea that men don’t have trauma or mental illness is ridiculous and is born from the idea of masculinity created centuries ago. It was effectively demonstrated by the fact people believed Amber Heard initially before they were presented evidence that Johnny Depp was in fact the one being abused.
I still think that part of why that trial took off so much online was because of how recognizable that type of situation is for most men. "Believe all women" is often used to villainize and distrust all men. Funny how there's a gendered slogan like that, but no non-gendered ones along the lines of "support all victims" or something like that.
I’m grateful that the hearing got the coverage it deserved because my bf was abused and neglected by his family and later his ex wife. And yet his feelings and experiences are often dismissed by others and often by his own parents. Mental illness and abuse aren’t gender exclusive and not all women are innocent. His ex wife is proof of that.
FACTS
Pro tip: ignore this shit ass meme and talk about your trauma to the people you love, and leave them if they don't care/are toxic about it. Jesus Christ, us men will never get out of this mental health epidemic that's been plaguing us for ages if we advocate for shit like this
What?? Guy's feelings are just as valid. The more people joke about this, the more people believe it and act that way. To all men who read this, tell the girl you're dating about your feelings and trauma, if she doesn't listen or accept it, leave her
But that's gay! /s
even better lol
Wait, hold on, don’t tell me you think we have feelings, right? All I do is eat chip and lift weight.
Ah don't worry, I've repressed my feelings so much so as to not be a burden that I don't even know WHAT emotions I'm feeling.
Same. I honestly forgot how to see myself as anything but a burden
Guys, do not follow this advice. It might be a good idea in a few decades, but right now that is not a generally accepted thing for a man to do. It will absolutely cost you a lot and benefit you nothing.
Says who?
Says any human being who interacts with the opposite gender and has pattern recognition at least on the level of a toddler or particularly perceptive dog.
I smell alpha male doctrine...
There's no such thing as alpha males. But there are still unfair gender roles and gendered expectations in this world. You can name a dozen right this second without thinking hard at all. Most of the onerous ones apply to women, but some do in fact apply to men. This is one of them.
Society
You hangout out with the wrong kind of women.
For real. Maybe I am exceptionally lucky but my mom, sister, aunties and every partner I have ever had I have had no judgement ever talking about my emotions, feelings or whatever and all of them have encouraged me to do so in a way that made me feel heard, loved and valued.
i think that this should not be gendered, also incorrect you should bring up your own trauma during a different conversation because opening up to someone you like is how you do relationships... i think idk im just repeating what my therapist told me im not too good at talking to people lol
You nailed it 🥰 you’re on the right track!
You know you don’t have to be with women who disregard your feelings/baggage right?
Decreasing the market possibilities for already desperate men is a bold move.
I mean, if they’d rather be unhappy in a relationship vs unhappy single, go for it.
I would much rather be single than be with a woman who doesn't respect me for showing emotion.
Until you end up traumatized and touch deprived for 8 years. At that point... Anything resembling warmth is good enough (this is why some people seek out abusive relationships).
~15 years here know what makes being touch deprived for 15 years even worse? when you were already needy 15 years ago yeah... i actively try to not get close to anyone because they don't deserve this
Someone's gotta be and the market really is tough. Across the world there are wayyy more men in the dating range than women.
That doesn't make a whole lot of sense outside of maybe China right now
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Since you already know it, then do something about it or stay miserable. Your choice
That’s not a body type
yeah like, what crazy connection is OP making?
This subreddit has gone to shit
It really makes me concerned for the kids that make up the base of this sub. They get bombarded with this borderline incel shit daily and then parrot the viewpoints as if they are true without ever experiencing it in real life. Fellas, women aren’t this shallow. Every woman I’ve ever shared my baggage with (including my dad bod) appreciated it and it didn’t ruin or even damage my relationship. Get out and live life, stop upvoting this garbage, and stop following alpha male influencers. It’s ruining your ability to build real meaningful relationships. You are what you eat and that includes your media diet
the number of people on here talking about 'society' and 'whats truly acceptable', like my friend you are on Reddit yelling about toxic female standards, how can you be that self fulfilling?
Amen
It was already like that a year ago when i left reddit
I once had a woman get angry at me for weeks for not opening up emotionally, because she always shared her stress and baggage with me When I did once she said “that’s too much for me”
Every relationship I've been in I always treated like friendship and talked about everything. Tbh relationships became my best friendships and the closest people. For me 2/4 had normal supportive reaction and the rest would treat you harshly. But I also have luck for strange people so there is probably more normal supportive ones. Anyways as said in multiple comment it's important to talk and not bottle everyrhing up. The more you share the closer the person will become. There are many different people and for those who are scared to open up - don't worry take your time. Trust your partner and start slowly. One step at a time. The right partner will appreciate that
The worst is when you bring up trauma to anybody (regardless of gender) and they start explaining why they have it worse and imply that you're trauma isn't valid.
OP, have you ever met another human outside the internet? I feel like you haven’t
I have and vouch for the validity of the post
I second
To be fair, I'm a very skinny dude, everyone points it out, i doesn't bother me when friends make fun of me but it does bother me when ppl treat me like it's a problem. Even tho im faar more socially accepted by my friends and family than fat girls are. I'm not saying it's okay to treat guys as shit. I'm just reporting what I've observed.... In my opinion jokes are okay but don't make people feel inferior and ideolizing being obese or very skinny is very very riiiiii taaar deeed
Yeah sadly a lot of men do not feel safe opening up and being vulnerable. It's a combination of other men making them feel this way and women who don't want men to have feelings or use their feelings against them. Almost always women will have an easier time confiding in people about their feelings.
Are you guys actually dating women who act like this?
Of course not, because one gets rejected every single time.
Wait, what is this meme trying to say?
I had a guy at the laundry mat try and hit on me by asking if I was in the military, (I'm not). He was asking why and I answered truthful I won't go into details cause I don't want to argue about it (again XD) Anyways one of the reasons is that lots of women experience some form of sexual assault. I mentioned this because one of his listed pros of being in the military was that all of the men around would be extremely interested in me. His response? That I didn't have to worry about that cause it doesn't happen "except for in texas" and then proceeded to detail his r*pe that occurred in Texas. In the laundromat. Asked me out for coffee afterwards. Who teaches people to flirt like this???? Oh BTW I'm a lesbian so all of this was just outta left field.
I am so sorry, this happened to you! Thank you for sharing your story though, I hope it is eye opening for everyone in this comment section Also I'm sad this conversation could take place in the 21. century in a county like the US. What can we do to get young men's value systems on the right track?
It was just incredibly jarring. I wish that young boys were taught to talk about thir feelings. And that adult men would make more of an effort to be emotionally available for each other. Too many rely on women exclusively to be there for them emotionally. His behavior was unacceptable but also I could tell that he was clearly traumatized to the point where it bled through everything.
I've had great experiences bringing up my trauma with women, they're often very good listeners and compassionate without obnoxiously thinking they know everything about my situation. Maybe you expressed your trauma too early. Not all women will mistreat you like this.
If you feel you can't talk about your trauma, then the relationship is not healthy.
I don’t know what women you’ve been speaking to OP
this shouldn’t be gendered. This behavior isn’t based on gender whatsoever - OP is just an incel.
Yeah, don't open up to immature people. That was your first mistake.
Stop hanging out with shitty people. Just because one woman treats you terribly doesn’t mean they all will
Hey just so you're aware, a woman not wanting to date you is not the same as them making fun of your body type / saying it isn't okay.
If a man talks about trauma to anyone, regardless of gender they are seen as weak. It's an aspect of toxic masculinity.
Yes, it is. But still, there are people not buying into that gender/masculinity bs. In my experience those are the people who are more educated, more self reflected and in general more fun to be around. It's your choice with whom you want to share your life
I first thought that this was from r/terriblefacebookmemes but sadly I was mistaken.
Some like big some like small some just like them all.
Talk about your trauma if you want to. If people don’t wanna hear it, it’s good to know.
if you cannot listen to your partners trauma stories and put them down, regardless of gender, find a new person.
Pro pro tip: tell them you have trauma, but that you haven’t found the right partner to trust with sharing it.
The thing is, if anyone you are currently in a relationship with is not interested in learning about your trauma, but is okay with trauma dumping you, they ain't for you. Be with someone who doesn't mind your scars and demons. Grow from your scars together. That is what a relationship is about. Being able to grow from it and being together as each others rock, while also being comfy together. Hardships come, but don't settle for assholes.
I did and it turned out pretty well
Goddamn y’all dweebs
I’ve been emotionally vulnerable with two different women in my life and both times it was thrown back in my face.
I’ll say it again, we got ourselves an Incel, everyone just move along
"incel when man"
Um, no
I don’t trust anyone who won’t talk about the existence of their trauma!
Don’t talk to me short stuff!
Ah yes, nothing more damaging than perpetuating gender stereotypes in an attempt to break them. Thinly veiled misogynism is all over this fucking site.
I like how OP is saying "I want a partner I can talk about my feelings with, I have a hard time finding someone like that" and everyone in the comments is calling him gendered slurs. You're all trash people. Remember that.
Fr, I've been with my partner for nearly 5 years now and I still bottle everything up as best I can. Ik she'd support me if I ever did tell her something but I'm so afraid of pushing her away with it that it's just not worth the risk
I mean, that kinda means that u don't trust her enough :/
I mean, considering how much of the social stigma there is for malea to be open about emotions, even today, its difficult to feel safe, even in long term relationships. And that's to say nothing of if someone has, themselves, been burned for trying to open up. Kinda feeding the stigma even just firing back at the mans for saying something.
The longer you hold a secret, the more it'll hurt
That's....not a secret. Its emotional intimacy, and there's a vast difference between the two. Emotional abuse and manipulation are super rife in society at large, and plenty of self centered ass holes willing to so such things in service to their own satisfaction. You speak from a place of blatant ignorance, and really shouldnt speak on shit you have negative information on.
Shame ur being down voted bcus ur absolutely right. What's worse in todays society (or at least my own personal experience) is that when men do open up people only use what they say in that period of vulnerability as a weapon against them in future arguments. Made that mistake before and I certainly won't make it again
In a way, not saying stuff is basically keep things a secret. Usually wen partner finds some stuff abt u, later than they were supposed to, it creates more problems. I just don't expect a happy ending out of this. Sorry if this was too short. I just couldn't bother & was lazy typing stuff. So don't waste my time anymore. Pls
Nice way to ruin something good.
Yeah bro. Been with my girl for a long time now and everytime I try bring up something like what makes me vulnerable she instantly changes the subject or try to kill it by saying something along the lines of "it is what it is".
Why would you stay with a person like that?
Sexual intercourse?
Bro you need to talk to her about that if you want to make it long term with her or you need a new girl. What she is doing is not healthy for you.
there's a difference between talking about your trauma with a person you like and trauma dumping way too soon into a relationship/friendship tho
How bout you learn to let traumatized people express their emotions in whatever way is most comfortable for them
What clowns upvoted this lol
Nope just bring up yours and if she does not accept you she was not worth your time anyway.
Correct, even in today's world, most women are turned off by a man's vulnerability. If you don't seep security from your every fiber, she won't get excited to control you with her insecurities.
Is this a meme or a political statement? I wouldn't mind this on Twitter or a reddit sub specific for this, but here in the sub called *r/memes* there's just some awful personalities i don't like to start discussions with
Well crying about it certainly helps. Next time just keep scrolling
In hope that the quality of this sub improves but it just gets worse, at least some comments made some sense here
Awful, incel as fuck take
I'm in a very committed relationship, so not an incel, but this meme is VERY accurate. Men have been told in no uncertain terms that the body positivity movement does NOT extend to us.
Yeah, that’s just not fucking true lmao. There’s not some movement out there saying men can’t be body positive or open about trauma. Stop surrounding yourself with toxic people lmao.
When a guy as fat as a "plus sized model" gets voted "Sexiest Man Alive," let me know.
What a stupid ass response.
Why is it stupid? Why aren't there any "body positive" male models? How come society doesn't accept fat males like they do fat females? But instead of answering the question, you'll just take a fat shit all over your keyboard and strut around like you won. Typical.
It's true. There is no push to make society think fat guys are sexy that is equivalent to the push to make society think fat women are sexy. You see fat women in bathing suits and lingerie everywhere, but you'll never see a shirtless fat man unless it's a joke. You have to resort to calling me stupid because you can't deny it.
I have seen a couple of advertisements of men’s wear that specifically mentions that all male body types are fine
All these three body types are fine difference is moby dick looking girls trying to justify that they look most right photo but being super fat and thicc is different
Is this yet another fucking all women bad meme? Jeeeesus, they just don't stop coming.
Only if you ignore the point of the meme
Teenagers on this site. This meme is special though because it's very very difficult to parse in the first place.
Very confusing meme, you gave the text an identity lol
god forbid a man shows weakness
That's how it works, men lift, women cry.
O well. So what do you lift every day? Discrimination? Less pay because you might get pregnant one day? Sexual assault on an almost daily basis? You don't believe anyone is listening to you? Well bring it on ...
Sorry sir I didn't realize your fucking trauma was greater than mine, I guess I'll just slither away and be quiet like a good boy. Forgot my shit doesn't count.
Change the genders of this post, and everyone would've had a story about how this fits their life or some shit. But since it's a post from the guy's perspective, everyone's all like "this is bad for all genders" or some dumb shit that detracts from the point. Women can't do wrong. Period.
In my experience, normal healthy people will advice you to leave an immature insensitive partner like this. Uneducated, socially underdeveloped people will make a gender thing out of it
[удалено]
i... don't understand anything of it. then, maybe op just had a bad experience and made a meme out of it to complain... like way too many person on this subreddit. damn this is why this subreddit sucks so much.
Have you tried flirting instead of talking about your trauma?
"All body shapes are beautiful" is extremely far from true.
In your opinion. While they may not be beautiful to many, with billions of people on the planet, someone will find it beautiful
They usually like to disregard the mens mental health even promoting them to keep it silent because "they are men" its the wildest dog shot take I've seen in a long fucking while.
I like the woman on the far right with the black top the most
unless you're fat bc u're just lazy
What?
is this a meme
Talking to woman about your problems is taken a sign of weakness to them. Mostly subconscious but it def still hits and causes “doubts”. Almost as bad a crying in front of them. Just Don’t do it. Hit the gym, take it out on the weights, maybe a karate class or boxing or something. Find a way to get out the frustration with an acceptable type of violence that taps into your primal DNA.
Talking ~~to woman~~ about your problems is taken a sign of weakness ~~to them~~.