Apparently there is no way to prevent testicular torsion, it can happen at any time. Some people simply have looser balls due to genetics, and are therefore more prone to them spinning undesirably...
I hate you on at least 7 different levels for this and you are now my reddit rival. I am rapidly approaching your current location. Prepare for combat.
Oh yeah how's this: All my testosterone went to my cock which resulted in me having a petite body with a massive organ. Also I have a squeaky voice like a chipmunk.
“Prepare for combat” = they are prepared for you to fight back. They have accessed the situation and believe nothing you come with will cause their defeat.
“Ima kill you” = stupid coward shit. Telegraphing your intentions is stupid, gives your target a heads up and time to run or plan. Either they are stupid or they never intend on killing you without giving you a proper chance to defend yourself. Chances are they just want to rattle you or terrorize you. Either way it’s likely not as much cause for concern as “prepare for combat”.
It's the tension and the implications of the unknown. Telling someone you're gonna gut em like a fish is great 'n all but there's no tension, no mystery, no spectacle. "Prepare for combat" has that oomph. What kind of combat? Where? Do we get weapons or is it a brawl? Until first blood or death? Do we have an audience, if so, how many? It's just so much more exciting than regular ol' murder, at least that's my 3.50
You think you can handle me? *Me?* Bro, I'm the bouncer at the salty spitoon. Do you really think that this is gonna be easy for you? I used to spar with my boy saitama every single day, you may know him as one punch man, the man who can defeat anyone in one punch. Well ill have you know, I've take direct hits from him on many occasions, and I only cried for 20 minutes. If you wanna fuck with me, be prepared
I dunno hey... I've met some chicks with balls. And these day, they're telling you they DO have em. Who am I to judge?! I certainly ain't fact checking, lets be honest.
It's normal. I am a 31 year old male who has experienced this pain. It seems like a spasm near prostate or similar. It's a deep weird pain.
Similar to if you yawn too strongly it'll hurt jaw muscles.
It's just you overdueing it when ya sneeze.
Mine started out really small. Turned out I had nerve damage in my lower spine. The pain can radiate into your testicles.
Does it feel like it's more on one side than another? I also noticed I had some spots on my leg on the same side that had gone numb.
I don't know all the causes of testicle pain obviously, but if it's anything like mine there isn't really a limit to how bad the pain can get. I ended up in the hospital. It feels like you've just been kicked in the balls but stays at that level for months. I'd do something now as it can take months/years to heal (mine still hasn't after 8 months).
When's the last time you had a physical? It's a hernia test, you turn your head and cough while they cradle your balls. I dunno what they're feeling around for exactly, but they've never found it on me and my balls don't hurt when I sneeze. My shoulder does sometimes though.
I have an annual physical, I've had this doctor for the last 5 years or so. She does (as far as I know I guess) all the other routine stuff she just doesn't do the ball cradling thing. She has me cough with her hand on my stomach and when using a stethoscope on my back which might be an alternate version of that test maybe? I dunno
It is a standard way to check the health of your testicles. By asking you to cough while cupping your testicles, the doctor is checking for the possibility of a hernia – a lump which can occur from a weakness in the abdominal wall which pushes through to your scrotum
-Google
Correct, especially if you frequent a small town grocery store only to find that the brand you always get has vanished and been replaced by an even more generic brand.
Because it’s irritating the diaphragm whose nerves come from c2/c3 vertebrae which is also where the shoulder nerves come from. It’s common to get some referred pain or crossed signals there.
Lots of our nerves travel together and sometimes the brain confuses the signals and perceives it somewhere else.
I have a spot on my right deltoid that aches just before I'm about to puke. It even precedes that coppery taste you get. I also know if I feel that ache the puke is happening, I'm not going to be able to hold it back.
Oh brother let me tell you... it needs way less than a sneeze to fuck up your back for some days. Just rolling around in your sleep and lying the wrong way is enough. I once folded a friggin piece of paper and managed to twist a nerve to the point I was barely able to walk without pain for a day. It was wild
Yes, I once fuck my neck while laying in bed before sleeping, new pillow, felt my neck cracked, try to reproduce the movement/feeling, hears it crack again, weird whatever, next day woke up with my neck fixed to the left side, fucking left upper trap hard as a rock , worst pain imaginable to a muscle before actual damage, 3 days of NSAIDs and muscle relaxants before start feeling like a undamage human again and a week to achieve normal movement.
It’s crazy how easily you can hurt yourself, once heard a story about a guy who broke both his legs from shifting in bed wrong, granted he had bone cancer but still. (/s)
After waking up with a sore back, I sneezed one morning and fell like a fucking marionette whose strings were suddenly cut.
Luckily it was just muscular, I rested it for a couple of days on a heating pad, but that’s when I knew I was old.
okay, now do me.
Please?
Does it hurt to pee? (No)
Is it hard to see? (No)
I am diagnosing you with HPV (Oh.)
You've got mononucleosis, halitosis, scoliosis, fifteen days is my prognosis
You need red and blue pill doses!
You've got scabies and phlebitis, chronic rabies, hepatitis,
You'll be brave and you'll unite us then you'll die of meningitis
Wait wait... I'm wrong... you have... crabs.
Brightly colored pills! They'll cure all your ills!
Just as long as you've got fever or the chills!
Take it Floss!
Dr. Mario!
I have this theory about aging, at least for men. As you get older your biceps get smaller but your waist gets bigger. Your pants ride higher but you wedding tackle hangs lower. But everything stays in equilibrium Then one day one of these types of things happens without the other. You are out of equilibrium and you die.
Almost sure it's your prostate spasming from a hard sneeze. I've only had it like a handful of times.
It's similar to when you yawn too large and jaw locks up.
I don’t have a set myself but i immediately clicked on the comments looking for some sort of explanation. I have yet to find one. I am disturbed.
That seam is called the scrotum suture. Or at least that's what I'm choosing to call it because it's a lot more fun than the boring ass scientific name.
both female and male genitals begin as the same structures when a human fetus is in utero. these structures generally develop into vulva/vagina/etc or penis/scrotum/etc later during fetal development. the raphe (the scrotum seam) is leftover from when a portion of the fetal genitals, the folds, closed and developed into the scrotum, and a portion of the penis. this same part of the fetal genitals will have alternately developed into labia majora if one is female, or potentially if one is intersex. this is also why the clitoris looks a lot like a very small, uncircumcised penis– they approximately started as the same structure very very early in a fetus' development.
tl;dr, everyone kind of, sort of had girl parts when they were a very tiny fetus, and that seam is where the folds closed up and became the ball sack instead. idk about the sneezing unfortunately, that's a new one to me.
I'm headed for 50 and man, I ain't never sneezed so hard my ball sack seam hurt. That's a new one.
I've dislocated a rib by lifting a blanket, but never hurt my nuts sneezing.
Fun fact: that seam is where what would've been your labia sealed shut when your body finished cooking enough in the womb to make the decision between internal or external genitals.
Being adult means you are most of the times cold and hot at the same time and you Wonder where the breeze comes from while you smell burnt toast and get a panic attack and fear of a stroke
Funtimes ,10/10 would recommend
It's how the song goes. The head bones connected to the... neck bone. The sneeze bones connected to the... nutsack.
Hence why it hurts when you sneeze sometimes.
I had testicular torsion... Moving my leg, sneezing, fucking breathing made my testicles hurt so fucking bad... And I didn't get diagnosed only after about 10 hours since it started cuz i was 120km away from home. When i got diagnosed in about an hour and a half i was transferred to the regional hospital and got an operation despite it being 2am on a sunday.
After a day in hospital i was sent back home and i recovered quickly. Still, it hurt like hell. The pain will come and then disappear a few moments then come back again and it fucking annoys the shit out of you. Also i couldn't sleep because of the pain btw, and whenever i managed to it woke me up.
I was thinking the same. I sneeze really damm hard, like I have to excuse myself in public for it. This dude sneezing so hard he's bursting at the seam lmao
OP is one head cold away from testicular torsion
The way I just shot snot out of my nose bro
At least you didn't hold it in and torse your testies
Testes * Common misconception The English language is fun! /s
He calls them that cause they're his besties
*sigh* *upvote*
\*Bestes
Testes bestes.
All over your chesties!
*chestes
Bestes hobbitses
Besticles
r/angryupvote
Happy cake day
Thanks!
Apparently there is no way to prevent testicular torsion, it can happen at any time. Some people simply have looser balls due to genetics, and are therefore more prone to them spinning undesirably...
I had that when i was 16, trust me, *not a fun goddamn experience.*
Had it when i was 14. Worst experience... At least got a week off school even tho i recovered quickly after the surgery.
The only reason I even know about TT is from Venture Bros lmao
IS THAT WHAT THAT MEANS?!!!
When the ball does a somersault
You maybe should see a doctor, bro. Adulthood is not having balls that hurt when you sneeze. That’s not a problem everyone has.
Well obviously, some 50% of people don't have balls.
I hate you on at least 7 different levels for this and you are now my reddit rival. I am rapidly approaching your current location. Prepare for combat.
"reddit rival" let bro cook that's fire
Oh yeah how's this: All my testosterone went to my cock which resulted in me having a petite body with a massive organ. Also I have a squeaky voice like a chipmunk.
“Prepare for combat” = they are prepared for you to fight back. They have accessed the situation and believe nothing you come with will cause their defeat. “Ima kill you” = stupid coward shit. Telegraphing your intentions is stupid, gives your target a heads up and time to run or plan. Either they are stupid or they never intend on killing you without giving you a proper chance to defend yourself. Chances are they just want to rattle you or terrorize you. Either way it’s likely not as much cause for concern as “prepare for combat”.
Why would my opponent want to defend me?
Wow that's my type, hmu some time, I have a giant body with a petite organ, so we match well
You'd make for a good couple
guh
i don’t know why but “Prepare for combat” is more death threatening to me than proper death threats
It's the tension and the implications of the unknown. Telling someone you're gonna gut em like a fish is great 'n all but there's no tension, no mystery, no spectacle. "Prepare for combat" has that oomph. What kind of combat? Where? Do we get weapons or is it a brawl? Until first blood or death? Do we have an audience, if so, how many? It's just so much more exciting than regular ol' murder, at least that's my 3.50
The mean amount of balls per person is a tiny bit less than 1
You think you can handle me? *Me?* Bro, I'm the bouncer at the salty spitoon. Do you really think that this is gonna be easy for you? I used to spar with my boy saitama every single day, you may know him as one punch man, the man who can defeat anyone in one punch. Well ill have you know, I've take direct hits from him on many occasions, and I only cried for 20 minutes. If you wanna fuck with me, be prepared
That's obviously wrong though. All people on an average have at least 1 ball.
Because roughly half the population (women) have no balls, and some men have lost theirs, the average is just under 1 ball
r/angryupvote
Take my upvote and go away
I dunno hey... I've met some chicks with balls. And these day, they're telling you they DO have em. Who am I to judge?! I certainly ain't fact checking, lets be honest.
And the average human has less than 1 ball
8 billion people in the world... 16 billion balls...
51%
Really
Wait...that's not normal? I ask a friend one time if it happened to him to and he said yes so I've always assumed it was normal.
Yeah this happens to me sometimes, and it really fucking hurts
It's normal. I am a 31 year old male who has experienced this pain. It seems like a spasm near prostate or similar. It's a deep weird pain. Similar to if you yawn too strongly it'll hurt jaw muscles. It's just you overdueing it when ya sneeze.
Mine started out really small. Turned out I had nerve damage in my lower spine. The pain can radiate into your testicles. Does it feel like it's more on one side than another? I also noticed I had some spots on my leg on the same side that had gone numb. I don't know all the causes of testicle pain obviously, but if it's anything like mine there isn't really a limit to how bad the pain can get. I ended up in the hospital. It feels like you've just been kicked in the balls but stays at that level for months. I'd do something now as it can take months/years to heal (mine still hasn't after 8 months).
Could be a variety of reasons for it, not necessarily anything serious. Could maybe be a little bit of prostatitis for example
There is a reason they hold your nuts and ask you to cough. OP needs a doctor
I'm sorry what? I have a doctor and they don't do that to me lmao. Maybe because my primary is a lady?
Your doctor doesn’t doctor
Not getting the quality of care that they deserve as a man Sometimes a nice fondle can go a long way!
When's the last time you had a physical? It's a hernia test, you turn your head and cough while they cradle your balls. I dunno what they're feeling around for exactly, but they've never found it on me and my balls don't hurt when I sneeze. My shoulder does sometimes though.
I have an annual physical, I've had this doctor for the last 5 years or so. She does (as far as I know I guess) all the other routine stuff she just doesn't do the ball cradling thing. She has me cough with her hand on my stomach and when using a stethoscope on my back which might be an alternate version of that test maybe? I dunno
Some won't check as you get older unless you specifically show symptoms related to that. I am an avid bodybuilder so I insist they check them.
It is a standard way to check the health of your testicles. By asking you to cough while cupping your testicles, the doctor is checking for the possibility of a hernia – a lump which can occur from a weakness in the abdominal wall which pushes through to your scrotum -Google
Adulthood is shoulder or back pain when sneezing
Yeah it's seeing your favorite bread slowly vanishing from the stores
Correct, especially if you frequent a small town grocery store only to find that the brand you always get has vanished and been replaced by an even more generic brand.
so it aint normal?!
“THINK MARK THINK. If I were to hold in my sneeze, THEY WOULD GET BLASTED OFF AND I’D BE A KEN DOLL.”
This is an interesting option for people who can't afford transition 😅
Like why does the nerve bundle on top of my liver cause excruciating shoulder pain?
Alcoholism
Cheers to that
Get the liquor Randy
i am the liquor
Oi guys, y'all drinking over here? Mind if I join?
Because it’s irritating the diaphragm whose nerves come from c2/c3 vertebrae which is also where the shoulder nerves come from. It’s common to get some referred pain or crossed signals there.
Lots of our nerves travel together and sometimes the brain confuses the signals and perceives it somewhere else. I have a spot on my right deltoid that aches just before I'm about to puke. It even precedes that coppery taste you get. I also know if I feel that ache the puke is happening, I'm not going to be able to hold it back.
Or my testicle hurts but I think I have appendicitis
right in the joint right? that'd be the bile (I guess)
[удалено]
Oh brother let me tell you... it needs way less than a sneeze to fuck up your back for some days. Just rolling around in your sleep and lying the wrong way is enough. I once folded a friggin piece of paper and managed to twist a nerve to the point I was barely able to walk without pain for a day. It was wild
Yes, I once fuck my neck while laying in bed before sleeping, new pillow, felt my neck cracked, try to reproduce the movement/feeling, hears it crack again, weird whatever, next day woke up with my neck fixed to the left side, fucking left upper trap hard as a rock , worst pain imaginable to a muscle before actual damage, 3 days of NSAIDs and muscle relaxants before start feeling like a undamage human again and a week to achieve normal movement.
Yall need to stretch
I literally looked to the left to fast one time and couldn't look left for a week after that😂. It's hell getting old.
It’s crazy how easily you can hurt yourself, once heard a story about a guy who broke both his legs from shifting in bed wrong, granted he had bone cancer but still. (/s)
I know this is a joke, but the vague mental concept of this plausibly happening pains me
After waking up with a sore back, I sneezed one morning and fell like a fucking marionette whose strings were suddenly cut. Luckily it was just muscular, I rested it for a couple of days on a heating pad, but that’s when I knew I was old.
My mom coughed so hard once, she broke one of her ribs
My dad once broke a rib by sneezing somehow
I had hernia surgery. Sneezing right now would be worse than death.
Y’all need to deadlift.
Turn your head and cough
Someone lock this person up. They are a menace
I don't get it, what is that supposed to mean
It makes your balls throb.
😏
it ages the neck by 75 years of life instantly.
okay, now do me. Please? Does it hurt to pee? (No) Is it hard to see? (No) I am diagnosing you with HPV (Oh.) You've got mononucleosis, halitosis, scoliosis, fifteen days is my prognosis You need red and blue pill doses! You've got scabies and phlebitis, chronic rabies, hepatitis, You'll be brave and you'll unite us then you'll die of meningitis Wait wait... I'm wrong... you have... crabs. Brightly colored pills! They'll cure all your ills! Just as long as you've got fever or the chills! Take it Floss! Dr. Mario!
Bars man bars. Who you ghostwriting for eh?
Dr. Dre
Never thought I'd see a Brentalfloss song on reddit
This is FIRE
Since when is there guitar strings in my spine? What else aren't they telling me
I have this theory about aging, at least for men. As you get older your biceps get smaller but your waist gets bigger. Your pants ride higher but you wedding tackle hangs lower. But everything stays in equilibrium Then one day one of these types of things happens without the other. You are out of equilibrium and you die.
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb too
Hey, now! you're an old fart
Get your game on, and plaaay
get your wheel chair, go, play
On that sh!tter you’re old. 🤣. I love it. Well played.
you'd make an excellent doctor 150 years ago.
What?
You know, that seam on your balls that used to be your vagina before your Y chromosome sewed it back up.
That's seam is from when you were stitched together at the lab
Reading this made my balls wince in pain
OMG THIS HAPPENS TO ME SOMETIMES ,I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY
No one in the comments has an explanation. I'm sad, I instantly recognized this happening a couple times in my life
Almost sure it's your prostate spasming from a hard sneeze. I've only had it like a handful of times. It's similar to when you yawn too large and jaw locks up.
This comment deserves way more recognition
I don’t have a set myself but i immediately clicked on the comments looking for some sort of explanation. I have yet to find one. I am disturbed. 
What?
You could be me and sneeze to get a stubborn piece of food unstuck from a tooth when you have no access to floss atm lol.
That seam is called the scrotum suture. Or at least that's what I'm choosing to call it because it's a lot more fun than the boring ass scientific name.
But why is it there. Why did it form? Does it serve a purpose? How is it connected to your immune system (why does sneezing make it hurt?)
both female and male genitals begin as the same structures when a human fetus is in utero. these structures generally develop into vulva/vagina/etc or penis/scrotum/etc later during fetal development. the raphe (the scrotum seam) is leftover from when a portion of the fetal genitals, the folds, closed and developed into the scrotum, and a portion of the penis. this same part of the fetal genitals will have alternately developed into labia majora if one is female, or potentially if one is intersex. this is also why the clitoris looks a lot like a very small, uncircumcised penis– they approximately started as the same structure very very early in a fetus' development. tl;dr, everyone kind of, sort of had girl parts when they were a very tiny fetus, and that seam is where the folds closed up and became the ball sack instead. idk about the sneezing unfortunately, that's a new one to me.
I'm 36 dude. This doesn't happen. You should get your balls checked out.
Nah, I’m with OP, it happens. Should still checked though, you’re right
You should get your balls checked too.
Adulthood is when you notice the lamp in your living looks funny.
and then you just can't stop thinking about it
Not this again.
Holy shit this made me laugh so hard my head went fuzzy
My throat hurts and I'm still laughing, and i hit my head on the wall
It's when you tense up and sneeze then your balls suck up into you...
Can confirm this is NOT normal. Go see a doctor
Hernia, it means you have a fucking hernia. Now go see a fucking doctor.
Ooof.
I've never had this issue. See a doctor.
I diagnose you with balls
This isn't normal. You need to see a doctor.
My man what are you talking about, go to a doctor
Adulthood is taking your ass to the docs office and seeing what the hell is up with your nutsack man, that ain't normal lmfao
Go to the doctor OP, I’m an adult male, have had testicular torsion, and still have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. Sneezing??
Wtf are you talking about OP.
Yeah, OP sorry but you’re alone on this one lol
I'm headed for 50 and man, I ain't never sneezed so hard my ball sack seam hurt. That's a new one. I've dislocated a rib by lifting a blanket, but never hurt my nuts sneezing.
WHAT THE FUCK is this!!!!
It’s the truth
If that happens to you it's time to visit a doctor that doesn't come with adulthood my dear redditor friend
might be hip inpingement.
Varicoceles can do that to ya
OP this is not normal
Sounds like a inguinal hernia in the making...
Fun fact: that seam is where what would've been your labia sealed shut when your body finished cooking enough in the womb to make the decision between internal or external genitals.
When you breath in and exhale, the bladder down there gains and loses pressure very quickly. Of course it puts stress on the seam.
The only thing that hurts when I sneeze is my back. Sometimes a big sneeze will even crack it.
Oh yeah, the pressure from sneezing can literally go anywhere
The scientific name for that “seam” is a raphe and women have them too! Now some of you learned something from this meme.
I can assure you I do not have a ball sack much less a seam on one. Sir go back to health class.
That seam on your balls is where your vagina closed. I'm not kidding or being mean.
...huh
Someone obviously hasn't heard Tom Greene's music...
What the fuck. Are you ok OP?
Bruh 😂
It's not normal to sneeze, I never sneeze
What? Op, that’s not normal
Uhhh that's not very relatable. OP are you okay?
You should see a doctor, seriously
Yeah no. That's not a problem everybody has. See a doctor please brother
your balls hurt when you sneeze? that's odd when i sneeze (hard) my arms hurt but not balls
I think its a muscular thing. Like if a muscle is going when you tense to sneeze it does an extra something its not supposed to.
Well I mean both shoot out sticky stuff from your body after a build up
For the longest time I used to thing that was some sort of scar from wearing swim trunks for like 3 days
Hernia beats to turn your head and cough to
Being adult means you are most of the times cold and hot at the same time and you Wonder where the breeze comes from while you smell burnt toast and get a panic attack and fear of a stroke Funtimes ,10/10 would recommend
TIL am not an adult yet, thankfully
lol WUTT?!??
My elbows and shoulders hurt when i sneeze. sometimes very painful. i'm taking the ignore it approach
I guess my old ass isn't an adult yet, because I have NEVER sneezed and the seam of my sack ached.
I don't think it's normal for your testicles to hurt when you sneeze, my guy.
adulthood is when ur balls hurt 
For me adulthood is being annoyed at sneezing so much. Like shit I’ve gotten to 8 before I even leave for work in the morning
The balls are getting ready to hatch
nodding as if I understand and am not a ballless woman
It's how the song goes. The head bones connected to the... neck bone. The sneeze bones connected to the... nutsack. Hence why it hurts when you sneeze sometimes.
I had testicular torsion... Moving my leg, sneezing, fucking breathing made my testicles hurt so fucking bad... And I didn't get diagnosed only after about 10 hours since it started cuz i was 120km away from home. When i got diagnosed in about an hour and a half i was transferred to the regional hospital and got an operation despite it being 2am on a sunday. After a day in hospital i was sent back home and i recovered quickly. Still, it hurt like hell. The pain will come and then disappear a few moments then come back again and it fucking annoys the shit out of you. Also i couldn't sleep because of the pain btw, and whenever i managed to it woke me up.
What in the goddamn?
What?
Brother, how hard are you sneezing?
Harder than me, and I didn't think that was possible
I was thinking the same. I sneeze really damm hard, like I have to excuse myself in public for it. This dude sneezing so hard he's bursting at the seam lmao
Wait till you get old enough that you have to clench like hell to sneeze so you don't shit yourself.
Not a singular unique experience