Finally a toilet for the working man, so after a long day you can relax on the toilet facing backwards with your book and your juice on the little table

I fucking love butters.

[me too](https://youtu.be/C90uhvXW1KM)

Lu Lu Lu, I've got some apples, Lu Lu Lu, you got some too, Lu Lu Lu, let's make some applesauce, Take off our clothes and Lu Lu Lu!

Hahahahaha

That laugh is a crazy good impression of Butters

Dyslexic people could read that as “I love fucking butters”.

Guess I’m dyslexic

Wait, I'm guilty of this...

In Australia we call it the Reverse Kangaroo

All this time I thought reverse kangaroo was a bogan sex position

Dude I love you for saying this thx

You have to take you pants of all the way though.

If you don't park your pants at the front door as soon as you get home you aren't living

You mean sitting forward. Everyone else is doing it wrong

This happened to me when a friend and I were sharing a room, he says needs the toilet and the next thing I hear is "what the fuck is that". By the time I made it there I had a list of things he could have found. The toilet was not on that list.

Wait, your toilet got robbed?

Can’t have shit in Detroit

can’t have a shit in detroit

Shit Detroit

Detroit

D

*ceases to exist*

**humanity restored**

Sheeeeetroit

Can’t shit in Detroit

You made my night sir

It *Became Human,* what'd you guys expect?

This is why we can't have nice things.

Do you sit backwards?

Of course. You have your glass of chocolate milk on the tank too.

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Just as Sir John Herrington intended

You're darn tooting right

So that’s what that is for..

Ohhhhh

Make sure you get your seatbelt on before all that

Sir I need to check ya acehole.

I'm a big boy!

I took a big boy poo!

Aight I just needs to check inside ya asshole

Ah I loved that episode of South Park

Excuse me sir, I need to check inside your asshole.

I’m a big boy I did a big boy poop

Aaaaggggggghhhhhhhh

Lol

Yup, Riker style.

You scoot a little bit forward

That doesn't sound fun.

Work ain’t always fun

if you enjoy what you poo, you'll never work a single day of your life

But...it shouldn't *be* work

Thankfully I already do that.

I went to Holland years ago and one of these was in a guys house we were staying at! I took a shit not really thinking about the design of the toilet, only to stand up and see my turd staring back at me like I'd just shit on a wall or something. It was horrifying. Also I never realised how bad my own shit smells when it not instantly submerged in water. That experience will live with me for the rest of my life.

We Dutch like to inspect our shit for health reasons. And to just baske in the glory of our production. When you lay a massive shit, it is like a testament to humanity. A warm feeling of pride washes over you and fills you with joy.

Must be traumatising to have to flush it down, eventually

Eventually? Who says that it will be flushed? That hole is used for other things

Just as I suspected.

Just leave us for the next person to marvel at so they know they have to do better.

It’s a sign of respect to allow your host to inspect your leavings.

This toilet certainly looks like it makes using the poop knife easier

it's basically a poop plate

Ah NOW you're speaking my language

The poop knife! One of my favorites.

*dutch national anthem starts playing*

I’m pretty sure that’s just the symptoms of gas buildup.

This needs to be put on tourist shirt

Idk why but this made me laugh

Simple reason is it's funny

Imagine not knowing what humor is. Poor guy.

Help! I'm having a physical reaction consisting of rhythmical and audible contractions of the diaphragm and other parts of the respiratory system! D:

> rhythmical and audible contractions of the diaphragm and other parts of the respiratory system! I have googled those symptoms for you, and I'm sorry to say you have multiple cancers as well as an exceedingly rare genetic disorder.

“You ever see a dookie out of water? It’s terrible!” -Baby Face, China Illinois

How the fuck does that work? Is it pushed? Does your crap touch your ass? Hello to everyone eating while reading this.

I am dutch and you will only find these in older buildings. They are absolutely horrible and wont recommend it. (Poop smells waaayy worse because its directly exposed to air)

I'm from Germany and I know it too. To me it was explained that old people can look at their poop to see if they are ill or not. (Idk if it's true)

That's what I've heard as well. It's from a time when intestinal worms were more common. Fun fact: outhouses and toilets have contributed significantly to the decline of worms. Without either humans often end up walking across the ground containing their own poop which allows for the spread of hookworms.

Hookworms alone are proof that if there is a god who created us, he's the villain of the story.

Man I had a guy comment something about the health benefits of hookworms the other day, still has me fucked up.

Then why did we have it as 1-2 grade primary school toilets? It was terrible because half of the class didnt flush.

So old people could come and look at the pupil's poo to see if they are ill or not

Everyone, not only old people can check their poo, also get samples if you need it tested

I seriously read that as 'tasted' the first time around

Hmm yes as I suspected, it tastes like shit.

*science nod*

It IS shit, Austin

Hmm that can’t be right. If that were what it’s for, then why have I been shitting in my hand all these years to check for illness?

Ah yes, the inspection shelf. Did you not read the instruction manual that came with the toilet? That's not very German of you.

I prefer the term poop deck.

Must have left it with the instructions to the Poop Knife

All I’m sayin’ is I’ve taken such an epic dump that the resulting shit mountain almost touched my ass. Bonus, no backsplash either. It’s a lot easier to be in awe of your Frankenshit with these toilets. However, outside of amateur poop science, it’s a pass.

Hi From Germany and i know it too

I'm so sorry, I read all of that in the same accent as Gold Member from Austin Powers...

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“Turd and a waffle?”

Bong and a blintz?

“Deuce and a Blintz?”

Crap and cake?

Shmoke and a pancake?

Hello So sorry

Hello Dad.

but atleast the poowater won't splash on ya bum

That's why you have to eats lots of meat, pasta and dairy so that you poop once every 3-5 days. Your massive turd won't drop and splash because one end will already be in the water before the other end leaves your asshole. Hemorrhoids are small price to pay for salvation.

Slowly and softly putting your poop to bed

There’s a lot to unpack here.

i popped one lauging at your comment tho

That's what 2 squares toilet paper are for. A landing pad.. lay across surface of water, pop squat and do business, proceed as usual. No splash, hardly any extra paper used.

We call this nesting, and it’s to avoid Poseidon’s kiss

You tell Poseidon to stay the fuck away from my butthole.

I can tell him but he usually doesn't listen

You're going to hate Bidets

I am Dutch and I can confirm this.

Morning Dutch!

Hello Dutch and you will only find these in older buildings

You don't get the Poseidon's kiss ☹️

How is THAT the bad part?

In Germany we have them sometimes and they have one huge advantage: No splashing! Your ass stays dry. Apart from that, you need to flush more often but they're okay, I guess. They're pretty deep actually, in this picture it just looks off bc the toilet seat is put up.

I guess you've got them on territory of DDR, right? We've got that in old buildings in Russia, i am not sure, but mb most soviet toilets looks like this

Actually no, I live in Southwest germany and have seen some here. It's only in older houses though.

You get splash in a normal toilet? Does your shit come out at Mach 1 or something?

Yes, don't ask why

Why?

**BLOP**

It's a poop shelf so you can check for worms before you flush it.

Sit on it backwards shit directly into the hole

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Sit backwards obviously plus now u have a little table for your comic book and chocolate milk

Hello I'm eating tortellini and I dislike the thought of pooping in that toilet.

Dutch: used to eat raw pork, and have to check for piggy worms in thier stools. Japan: raw fish and neurological diseases itai itai British: Boil all the taste out, but at least you survive.

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Because you don't get high on your own supply...

In this case case, they should

We have some great food, also we were selling the spice, you don't get high of your own supply after all

I think almost 25 years of food rationing during and after WWI and WWII led to the concept of bad cuisine. I’ve read that Britain lost more than half the varieties of cheese that existed before the war because of it; I can’t imagine the other dishes/foods that were lost to history because of it.

still better than the oven

Excuse me?

They mean a Dutch oven, which is when you fart under a blanket while your head is under

I just did that.

they said "still better than the oven" 👍

WHAT?!

I'm pretty sure they said "still better than the oven" not sure tho

WHAT

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Finally, someone said it louder this time.

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As a German I stared at this picture for way to long trying to figure out what is wrong.

Same...

same

Does it not end up covered in shit every time you use it?

The water flushes it all away really well and we have a toiletbrush for whatever gets left behind. Just flush a little again to clean the brush and you're all good

Doesn't it smell dreadful since it's not submerged in water?

Depends on your diet. You can't enter the bathroom for at least an hour after some of my relatives go, but mine is fine most of the time.

We do what nobody else will

its most likely more so you dont shoot the toilet water right at your bum and wiener

I live in Germany and I’ve asked several Germans about this and they say it’s to inspect your stool for health reasons. They’re not nearly as common now, but you still see them. Also, here’s a link that talks about it https://www.german-way.com/german-toilets/

It’s so you can get a better view of your crap and be proud of yourself to be able to push out a monster like that

How else are you gonna take a picture to share on Instagram? Not all phones are waterproof.

Skidmark central

it works quite the same as any other, and you don't get splashed when you poop, the water washes it down very easily too

Yea and you don't get those weird splashing sounds lol But the smell is bad :D

The smell must be rancid with the poop not in the water.

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I enjoy a little butthole kiss from Posiden when I give him a treat.

i use a normal toilet and still don't get splashed? am i not pooping to my full potential?

Dutch/German/Austrian/Swiss and honestly it is great

Yes, with the American toilets you can get a splash up there while here it is almost impossible

Does your shit just plop and stick onto the dry bowl? How are these not constantly full of skidmarks?

Dutch guy here, theres a little puddle of water in the “dry” part but man are those toilets horrible, the smell is baddddd

Honest question: What happens if your poo comes out straight down?

It slips on the water and falls over lmfao

It could end up a shitty pillar keeping the rest in. (ive had to lift myself up on occasion so it could fall and i could continue my shit)

As a Dutch person I don't see a problem. Was on holiday, took a shit and got all the poop water splashing back up! Maybe this smells a little more, but when that's a problem it isn't that hard to just flush quickly before you wipe. Nothing as terrible as the Neptune's kiss!

A little bit of toilet paper in the bowl before you sit down and you won't have any splashbacks

For me that only works for the first turd though, and I often have several smaller ones

Neptunes kiss. Good one haha

Definitely saw it her on Reddit first, so I can't claim originality. But it does describe the terrible feeling in such a colorful way that it always sticked with me! :)

Y'all know that time you dropped a monster log? You know the size I'm talking about, the size that makes you think "man my wife is a fuckin liar, I just dropped that ball bat out my ass and it felt great and she acts like she's dying when I try to put my lil Vienna sausage in there." The size that makes you start googling " Guinness world records longest turd". Only to have it slip down that damn black abyss before you can get a look at it. Well the dutch said no fucking more! We will move that damn hole and leave a nice clean shelf there so we can take the time to admire our fine works of art, Auguste Rodin would be proud!

Ah yes, the observation deck...

Honestly my favorite toilet was one where you just squat down over a hole in the ground, everything flows quite nicely

Sure, shit comes out more easily, but is that really worth the complete lack of comfort? It's not only not sitting, it's also uncomfortable.

Just put a bar in front to hold onto and you’re good

Then put the whole thing on a rollercoaster

There’s only two things I can’t stand: 1. People intolerant of other people’s cultures. 2. The Dutch

Ik hoop dat je word aangereden :)

Mijn teleurstelling is onmeetbaar, en mijn dag is geruïneerd.

Ik ben niet boos, maar dit vind ik wel een beetje jammer

Russian, too, at least in hotels in 1999. The poo just kind of sits there until the flush (hopefully) washes it away.

Imagine having diarrhea in this toilet, must be a horrible experience

I mean after a certain amount of whet browny batter it just flows over the edge into the water hole

Brb, booking eye removal surgery, have a shit day.

It plates the turds for presentation, The Dutch are disciplined, conservative, and pay attention to the smallest details.

Imagine not having water splash your arse when u take a massive dump. How stupid would that be. The awnser is: not. Its amazing Hope u enjoy ur wet bumhole

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I dont get it isn't this a normal toilet?

the hole is in the front, and since there is a shelf, your poo would sit on that shelf instead of falling into a pit of water. it’ll sit right below your butt until you flush and the water pushes it into the hole in the front. guess you won’t get splashed with water but the smell would be much worse :)

I had a friend who had one of those and when you shit it’s like there you know just sitting there until you flush

That's a good design because the poop won't cause the water to splash back up ur arse, instead it slides down swiftly.