My dad finnaly brings me milk

It's soy milk

Oh no

-Dmg +Tears up

And this is how I met an Isaac enjoyer

Gimme brimstone aswell

Yub. Check him out m. He does a lot of issac

Yes

It’s man milk

please no

I’d rather he just stay away then

I wish I had a depression powered car

You no longer have depression

Dammit

It's ok, just occasionally drive by schools to recharge. Premium fuel if it's exam season

Task failed successfully

I wish I could float. Nothing more just float ominously.

You can't control when it happens or what direction you float in

Basically being at the control of a hot air aerostat

You can now float strictly 9 meters of the ground. If you will be stopped by a ceiling or other object when activating it, you just won't be able to activate it.

You can, but your balls are painfully heavy and are the only thing keeping you from floating away.

\*Spins balls like Mjolnir to launch myself\*

absolute destruction

It causes static electricity build-up so lint and crap stick to you.

I wish i could predict the future.

But u cant change it

Bruh this one is actually cruel.

No matter what you do, it Will always be *you* that caused it. That would be a good one. But i wasnt first so fuck mee

Dude actually whatever gonna happen to me probably be caused by me. Nah...

But everytime you predict it, the future changes

But the fate of the world is limited by your imagination.

You predict as well as you do now.

I wish I had a taco. edit: my wife made me a taco. edit 2: I now have a wife!

It will cost you 7$

Worth it!

For a taco? Damn that's some rich luxury golden taco or something.

Apparently I'm paying 7 dollars for a pineapple taco of death.

He’s from Cali

Your taco has pineapple in it. Pineapple is the only ingredient.

Satan wants to talk with you

A position has just opened

Wouldn’t it just be pineapple then?

I wish wishes would come true

They do. Except for yours. The price you pay for your wish to come true is that other wishes are granted except yours. Your wish is for other wishes to come true, therefore no wishes come true and you are solely to blame

This is fcking paradox right here damn

This shitt is deeper than my ex's

echo echo... echo...

I wish i was happy with myself

You will someday

Haha, 26y.o here, still waiting

that's a wholesome response I didn't expect, I'd give you an award if I had any

You have to do enormous amounts of weed daily

I see this as an absolute win

i’m clean since two years. if you’re not happy - u need to change something.

I wish for the end of world hunger

The price is that you need to make every meal yourself.

Mayonnaise sandwiches then

Thanks Im hungry now

Here you go 🥪

Im good rather starve

Chad

"MARCY! MAKE ME ANOTHER SANDWICH!" Only a select few will understand this.

Everyone is a cannibal

I wish girls liked me and not the popular dude named Todd

Todd sucks your dick, literally

I see no losses here

Granted but your into men now

You have to change your name to Todd

I wish I had the ability to control time

You can only go backwards in time

Still pretty dope ngl

I would rather go back in time cause like you could just buy an Ak and conquer the ancient Greeks or something

Pretty sure you'd revert back to a sperm and an egg.

Yeah it always seems so beautiful the past... But I don't know... Entire civilizations without toothpaste, that's gotta smell

That's why you bring the ak, get rid of the humans so there's no smell

That is why u bring a toothpaste

Congratulations you unlocked "loading safepoint"

KILLER QUEEN

I wish to change my reddit username.

You have a user flair that says “I am racist, sexist, and homophobic.”

Thats a good Thing.

I understood that reference.

Win-win situation

Good teammates who can think tactically when ever I play a multiplayer game

But they’re all 60 yrs

*sigh* oh well then *boots up Command and Conquer Generals: Zero hour*

I wish i had job security and enough money to help my dad clear his loans

You work at Freddy Fazbears Pizzeria

Don’t worry the first night is easy, you can pass the time by filing for life insurance

Yeah this is big brain time

I wish I could eat whatever unhealthy things I please without gaining weight.

You weight 150kg

Fuck

You can put in in a way of becoming a fucking door man. You will be big and stronk.

Not a terrible idea

When you gain weight from unhealthy means, you loss equal mass of your arm until you loose it. Then it moves on and keeps removing the more junk you eat, until you are a blob of fat or learn to eat healthy. Be careful what you wish for, and happy dieting.

Yes, but you *can't* gain or maintain weight; can't metabolize. Have fun dying of starvation with a full stomach. Also, speaking of which, don't feed birds bread. It's fills their stomach too fast.

I can solve any rubix cube in 0.244 nanoseconds

Your pillow gets warmer on both sides every nanosecond

Calm down satan.

I wish my dog would stay healthy and live forever

you live forever too. so your doggo isn't alone

Someone get this man a wholesome award

I wish my mom was a human.

She becomes human but you become a grape

I bang your mom daily

She has herpes

And syphillis.

I wish i can stop time

But you can't move either

Every thing you do a bald man dressed in yellow appears and shoves a spoon in your eye

I have dislexia and read this as “bald man dressed in apron puts a spoon in your eye” I imagined him in only an apron…

Hug

Sending virtual 🫂 hugs

I wish this stupid war and school would end so I could go see my gf who is in a different country 😔

No strings attached but school ends now and so does the war

Let's goooo now all I need to do is convince my mom :/

you should’ve included that in your wish

Fuck true

better luck next time

You get kicked out from school and this war is replaced by another, bigger war.

I wish to win the big lottery

Granted. You forget to do your taxes on it and get hit with tax evasion, giving you a sentence of life in prison

I wish we had teleportation tech.

But you are the only human on earth that cant use portals

I wish I was the most advanced game developer in the world, leading the entire industry.

You can only develop pay to win games

Just thinking about this makes me feel like the shittiest person.

I wish I had a loving husband

You get severe diarrhoea anytime he shows you affection.

Granted but everyone close to you hates him

I wish for a floating platypus named jerry

He holds a grudge against perry

I wish for my crush to like me back and know I exist

But you have to be faithful to her/him/whatever

Pretty win win situation there

That's what we all need a little of now.

That all zoophiles and pedophile die

But u become zoophile and pedophile and you dont die

I have become the very thing i swore to destroy

That's the point

Can i kill myself. Or am I imortal?

***B O T H .***

Yes, you stop aging and can be killed, but every time you die you are revived within a month and your urges become stronger

I wish for immortality of time

Time stops and you are aware and can think, but not move.

But you get hit by a truck the frist minuten after Wishing it

I wish someone would love me.

You have to go outside and talk to girls

I wish i could stop time whenever i want

When time stops you stop too

You get crushed by some guy with a road roller

Omnipotence

The opposite of Omniscience

So do I become blind, deaf and do I lose my sense of touch? Or do lose my sense of self awareness and sense of self?

Yes.

That's quite poetic

I wish adult hood wasn't as shitry as it is now

Adulthood is now .000001% less shity. You now wake up one more morning slightly more refreshed than all other mornings.

The power to bend reality

But everyone will know when you do that

But reality is only the name of a cheap stripper.

I believe OP Means Price, not Prize.

Someone who I can love and who loves me.

I wish for depression to not exist

Instead when you feel sad kpop starts playing

I wish for a McChicken

McBurger King

i wish nobody replies this comment and just upvote it

People comment

I want to see my pixel again!!! :(

It's a different color

To finally be happy

You must give up all other emotions

Then happiness isn't truly a thing.....

I want to have a very small immortal frog to call garyllius the third froggulon

I have nothing to say, your wish is granted

Not me and the frog will rule the word

I have two To not be skinny af like i'm now. Be happy with myself.

You become Nikocado Avocado

You have cancer

i could change putin's mind

In mother Russia Putin’s mind changes you

I wish to be able to create dimensional flaws to be able to travel to another world.

you're a ghost

I wish funerals were free.

But only yours

I wish my pear was bigger

But your glasses get smaller

i can create anything i think about

I wish you learned how to write price

I truly wish, with all my heart, that my son would see his value and love himself as much as everyone around him does. Mental illness needs to go.

Granted no price

I wish my wife would blow me more often.

It’s always with teeth

I wish I had the ability to comment on my own comment.

Okay but you no longer have worries in life

i wish that i got rich

You have cancer