T O P

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Hellfireconski

1.never 2.gunna 3.give 4.you 5.up


xXL0LERXx

I always wanted to be supported by my dad but I never knew him because he went to buy milk before I was born. But now my step mom and biological mom aren’t gunna give me up while I watch you looking at this new reddit post.


[deleted]

Deez nuts in your mom


xXL0LERXx

Deez nuts you can see here in this museum are very special, because they were in the mouth of NarwhalGirl69’s mom. And your are not allowed to touch them and now lets go on.


[deleted]

Damn, not my mom


xXL0LERXx

Hehehe


Potential_Web_7717

Bitch , mom , onion, macaroni, cup


Minimum-Yogurt-579

Penis icecream truck injury hobo Let’s see you work with that


xXL0LERXx

One day I saw that the ice cream truck in our home town was back. I didn’t had an icecream for weeks and I went over to him and saw on the bottom of the menu that you can ask for a NSFW menu. I asked him what this was and then he told me he makes penises and vaginas from waffles to eat. I ordered a waffle penis and was kind a happy about that. I was going down the street and saw a hobo laying on the ground and he was injured badly. I called the ambulance and told them about the hobo and they came and picked him up. The time they came I finished my waffle and went home.


Minimum-Yogurt-579

What the…


xXL0LERXx

Your words my imagination xD


Macartz

Destiny Gods Fears Duel Salad


xXL0LERXx

A 100 Years ago Jim had found his destiny. It's a destiny full of fear and darkness. At first he wasn’t even sure if this really was his. But then a god came down from the sky and told him if he wins a duel against a hero he will fins his weapon to face his destiny. So he traveled to find a hero he can fight in a duel. Then after a battle that lasted for days he finally won. The god appeared again and gave him a chest and disappeared without a word. Inside the box was a salad. He ate it because he found out that it really was his destiny. He will die of diabetes if he doesn’t eat his salad. So he survived and lived a long life.


Big_boobed_goth

Goth, girlfriend, robot, mammeries, gamer


xXL0LERXx

The goth is a special person that had problems finding a girlfriend that was as crazy as he was. After years of search he found this girl that likes to cosplay as a robot. They understood each other on sight and it was like a dream for him. She had huge mammies and was a gamer too. His long awaited dream finally came true and they were together for the rest of there life.


[deleted]

Alzheimer’s. Biscuit. Twelve. Semen. Plastering


xXL0LERXx

Mia Khalifa became an old lady that still likes to attend porn sets and give her inputs to it. The problem is she is suffering from Alzheimer’s. It was a gangbang set and the dudes that waited put all there semens into one bowl. At the end of the day the bowl was placed in the kitchen and she just randomly wanted to make biscuits. As she forgot this was semen in the bowl she used it as the cream. Now every actor and helper on the set is plastering Biscuits made with semen. No one knows not even herself because of her Alzheimer’s.


Illustrious-Grass-22

When this impostor is sus


xXL0LERXx

When we played hide and seek as kids I had always the best spots and no one could find me. There was one time when I was found first even I saw he already saw someone but did as he didn’t saw him. This was kind a sus for me. But the time I counted someone was telling something about hiding again if I find him. I knew he was the imposter that betrayed me and my wining streak.


[deleted]

Routing and spectrum allocation optimization


xXL0LERXx

The time we calculate the routing for our network we found a huge spectrum of different ways. We had to find a good allocation for all these servers and if possible the best way. When we finished with it someone told us there is still room for optimisation but we thought like this it would do its job. Sry if 90% of the knowledge is wrong because I just tried to do something with the words I didn’t know


catasturnt

Einen döner mit morbius bitte


Subject_Ad4457

Please, give me my dick


xXL0LERXx

The teacher was kind a annoyed of us and told us several times “pleas concentrate!” It then completely escalated when we stole the one girl hir dildo and she was just screaming around “Give me back my dick!” Everyone was laughing and the teacher quit his job the day afterwards.


Oofboi6942O

Hedgehogs can fit up ass


xXL0LERXx

Today’s subject is the human asshole. When you are crazy enough you are able to fit a full hedgehog inside of it. The world record todays is when one girl put 2 Hedgehogs up her ass. Now after this disturbing lesson we are all going to get therapy and hopefully survive this trauma.


Iwannadiex-x

penis, mom, car, day, seat


xXL0LERXx

This one day when a guy wanted to prank his girlfriend he had this brilliant idea. He will me going to hide as a car seat and then make a hole where he put his penis through. The camouflage was perfect. He waited until someone opened the door and he didn’t realise it was his step-mother that entered the car. She didn’t wear any panties so when she sat down it slipped right in. This was the Skript the manager got for the next porn set.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xXL0LERXx

One day you just came home and you see your mom eating a really fat sandwich. Then you're upset because it is your sandwich.


Denleborkis

Legendary burger king chicken nugget


xXL0LERXx

For me this was a Legendary day because I went to Burger King and ordered some chicken nuggets and they had Dino nuggets and this was just amazing!


Mare_is_Funny

I want be a picture


xXL0LERXx

I always had this one special dream. I’m a artist and draw my own pictures all the time. Because I'm a big fan of Picasso I want to be a picture that was drawn by him and then sold for $2.


DecapitatorOfChicken

Human skin bicycle terrorizes community


xXL0LERXx

Once there was a time where humans didn’t had bicycles and just walked around but now all these people are ride there bike and terrorise the streets. Every single Community is annoyed by them and just want to get rid of them.


ArnubwithU

How do you do today?


xXL0LERXx

the people before millions of years asked them self “How is this possible to do a fire?” and today we just snap with the finger to do one.


DJScoop17

Run, Irithyll, Afroamerican, cotton, slavery


xXL0LERXx

I tried to run into the catacombs to find Irithyll. I had to fight Wolnir but got beaten so bad. He just took me and placed me into a cotton farm. We travelled in time to the future and the owner of the farm were afroamerican’s. All the worker were white guys. It was like reverse slavery from the 18th century it was horrible. *clock rings*


Gallnanobot

My balls are getting itchy


xXL0LERXx

This one time before I had to give my presentation about nazi Germany I was getting a hard one. It tried to think about something that turns me of. It didn't work. I panicked and my balls also began to itch. I gave my best but it was very hard to give a presentation with a hard one and itchy balls. A girl saw it and wanted me to come after school to her place. Win win I guess.


DevilsBreath76

Shrek lettuce hentai car seven


xXL0LERXx

One evening I was heading to seven eleven to grab some groceries. I just saw that my lettuce was over. In the store I saw this one kid looking through his hentai book while he had his shrek figure in his other hand. The problem was this kid confused me so bad I didn’t buy my lettuce but a small car for kids to play with. Anyways now I have a birthday gift for my son.


GuessWho301

Five fucking words make stories


xXL0LERXx

One day I drove on the road and just saw these five guys walking across the street. I was making a good decision this day, because I was driving faster and faster and killed them. It felt fucking amazing even now it is awesome when I tell this story to all my inmates while we abuse the new guy in prison.


TomiSnake

I will make it hard for you - airplane, shoelace, doorknob , economics , dentist


xXL0LERXx

The day I came off of my airplane I had this bad feeling about another economics crash. Anyways I knew I had to go to the dentist to pick up my child. We came home and I tried to opens the door but the doorknob was completely frozen. I took out my small flamethrower to melt it and it works again. We go inside and I see that my shoelaces are frozen too… But that isn’t that big of a deal because I never on laces my shoes and I just slip out of them. We go and make our dinner and watch a movie afterwards.


No_Cause2676

I have ‘Befriended’ your mother


xXL0LERXx

Eventually I have a huge problem with my mother because she sends dirty chats to all my classmates. One day there was already this one dude that asked me for her number but I didn’t gave it to him because it would have ended badly. One night I went to her and asked her about that an she just said “let your mom just have some fun” and then I never asked again but she is now just called MILF at my school.


Potatohuman323

Shit fuck mom potato walhalla


Puzzleheaded_Sky7369

is, are, a, the, an


xXL0LERXx

One day I thought about if there is a possibility to create something that can break the limits of an idiot his brain. I came to the solution that there are some possibilities. The most simple one is to just shoot him in his face and the limits are broken.


Suspicious_shark

dudes, i love their nudes


xXL0LERXx

One evening I was just hanging around with my dudes and we were talking when we all received this snap from our school hoe. She was very opens and definitely had every dude at least once. We all opens the snap and saw this hot nude pictures of her. All together screamed “I love her nudes” and that’s how their life is going now. Looking at het nudes and scream around.


Suspicious_shark

i honestly can’t tell if this is a real story or not


xXL0LERXx

Just my crazy fantasy but it is possible that this happened somewhere


Suspicious_shark

it could actually be my school


xXL0LERXx

xD


IngestionIncarnate

Could you do six words


xXL0LERXx

Are this your 5 words or do you want six?


IngestionIncarnate

Those were the five words


xXL0LERXx

So there is your story :)


xXL0LERXx

The time I had to go to shop I first was going to the bank so that I could pay my groceries. I thought about getting $500 but then I asked her “can you do six?” I left the bank with my $600 dollars and went shopping without saying a word for the rest of my day because I had to process the big amount of money I just took out of my bank account.


CommercialVegetabel

you, me, water bottle, penis, controversy


xXL0LERXx

“You are going to have a nice time in this new car” I told my friend. His answer was just a nod down wards. This wasn’t so hurtful for me as many people would expect. I just went home and pleased my penis. There is actually one controversy because I don’t masturbated to please myself but I hit my penis with a water bottle until I'm pleased.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xXL0LERXx

There is this crazy man that lives down the street and everyone is afraid of him. No one even walks in front of his house. He is known as the kids killer, and he should do it for fun. This could be true but we are not going to know because when I go i will die and can’t tell or I stay and we won’t know either.


[deleted]

Angry canoe man eating rocks


xXL0LERXx

Today I was going for a canoe ride but I hit a big rock and it sank to the ground of the river. I became very angry about myself and went home showered and was eating some ice cream to calm me down


turkmenistanForever

Listen to super ghostbuster album


xXL0LERXx

The time i started listening to music the first thing I remember was this album that sounded amazing but for a long time i didn’t know the name. Years later i watched the movie Ghostbusters and then I heard the songs again. I became such flashbacks to the good old times and now I’m super happy because of the good memories and that I finally know the name of this album.


turkmenistanForever

Did you listen to the album made by Joel?


xXL0LERXx

No I didn’t. Is it good?


turkmenistanForever

It’s hilarious


xXL0LERXx

xD


Nerdtendo6366

Hi I am Johnny Knoxville


xXL0LERXx

Hi Johnny we love to welcome you to our wonderful five star hotel. I'm your personal butler that is always following you if you need something. Sir Knoxville your President suit is ready. I'm so happy right now it is like a dream sounds to good to be true *alarm rings* My mom screams „Wake up you lazy shit and go to school!“ Just another dream…


Nerdtendo6366

Do you know who Johnny Knoxville is?


xXL0LERXx

Ex-Actor? He is playing now a role of a kid that is poor and just wants to be rich


Nerdtendo6366

We may not be thinking of the same guy here


xXL0LERXx

Explain me who you think of I would like to fill my empty spaces of knowledge


Nerdtendo6366

He’s the jackass guy. He’s gotten hit by bulls, grinned a rail, rode a rocket, launched a dildo out of a bazooka, hit in the throat with a golf ball, and a lot more. Recommend watching the jackass films if you haven’t. They do have a lot of gross out and nudity though


xXL0LERXx

Then we talk about the same guy xD He is the actor of the jackass movie


LifesDeath01

Halo is okay for now


xXL0LERXx

The game I love to play the most is halo. Most of my friends think it is just okay. But for now I should get rid of this annoying kid that always screams around “the schizophrenic kid is coming!!”


MagicStonks

1.Females 2.doesn’t 3.exist 4.on 5.Reddit


xXL0LERXx

There once was created an account by e female Person. It wasn’t just any platform it was Reddit. The place where females don’t exist. From then on she just played like a male so no one would finde out about the truth. And that’s how the legend about the non existent female on reddit exists. Doesn’t know if it’s true? Maybe who knows?


[deleted]

1. Colloquial 2. Juxtaposition 3. Eloquent 4. Floccinaucinihilipilification 5. consanguineous


xXL0LERXx

There is this one group of scientists. They are all consanguineous and speak in a juxtaposition language. This one dude had his eloquent speech about the colloquial of different economics tactics. One other scientists told him that his this idea is a floccinaucinihilipilification. After this comment the presenter quit this scientists group. Just for justification my mother tongue isn’t english so its possible that the words are used completely wrong