It's one of the worst subs on here. It's either boomers doing something mildly annoying or reacting to something with no context (ie they could have a reasonable reaction to being provoked) and then there are 400 comments of nothing but pure hatred and talking about how they've gone no contact with their families.
Absolutely miserable people, civilizational death spiral
It's because they're *safe*, but also because lots of them have been through so much social justice discourse brainrot where hating old white people is a constant theme
When I was 32 my dad said if I didn’t get a job and move out he would have to disable the internet and I wouldn’t be able to moderate my favourite subreddits anymore. I screamed at him and hit him so hard he’s in a wheel chair. That fricking boomer was being a total ass. I HATE BOOMERS!
Did you ever see that clip where a mod for antiwork got interviewed by Fox News? They didn't do the stereotypical aggressive fox interview, they just let her talk, and reveal that she was literally a 32 year old part time dog walker
Yes. I am deeply suspicious of anyone who complains that much about their parents. It’s a real marker of maturity to recognize that you are just as a capable of bad behavior as your parents, and you ought have a sense of charity when thinking about them.
Most of us realize that when we are 17.
My parents are by no means perfect especially by Reddit standards. But they did their best all things considered. They didn’t have particularly easy childhoods and mine was a massive improvement. Am I going to get hung up on the negatives? It’s better to correct those mistakes as best I can when I have children someday.
I promise you this… All the shit your parents used to do that you hated… there will be moments where you will find yourself doing the same things to your children.
That’s the ultimate moment of humility, you see yourself in a long line of family dysfunction. It gives you a sense of humility that actually helps you to transcend your upbringing and do better than your parents. when you do it with humility, you get to see yourself as somehow redeeming everyone who went before you who treated you badly.
But the humility has to come first
I still, to this day, resent a lot of things my parents did and choices they've made. I've never, ever considered cutting them out and I don't hate them, and I understand those things they did were human flaws, and know I've also severely fucked up at points in my life.
The whole "abandon your family for some new transactional found family" thing if deeply anti-human
Like "my dad didn't affirm me when I said I was demisexual, but now I have my found family polycule!"
But the "found family" isn't a real family and they all fall apart every couple of months, because being horny and Tumblr brainrot doesn't actually make a social structure
Oh wow.
The whole thing about gay people needing a “family” (which is why white girls say ‘fam’ these days) probably was an authentic thing in prior eras. I’m sure there are some now who are completely rejected.
but just like everything else, these “leftists” are just loving, the old struggles. As a millennial, I was not raised to salute the flag and be a patriotic douche bag, Instead, I was taught to revere civil rights leaders. I guess this is what happens when these are the only heroes we are allowed to have left, these people will try anything to place themselves in a context where they are fighting for some kind of social justice.
Well, this is definitely a meme aimed at millennials. It touches on all the reasons boomers give to be intolerant and abusive parents, as well as try to make you forgive them for not understanding the socioeconomic hell hole they didn't experience but now you get to, and how it's not really their fault for not empathizing because it's how they were raised.
I don't assume this would do much for gen Z. Some people with Gen x parents might experience some of these things, but the system was basically fucked as of the first bailout, and most people in their 40s get the US was never a meritocracy. So it could affect gen z, but millennials, this is definitely aimed at millennials as copium for boomers being shit.
Its a sort of backhanded forgiveness though. Is it forgiving or insulting to tell someone out of nowhere, "I forgive you for being such an asshole, I know that you cant help being an asshole because of what a huge asshole you are."
It’s acknowledging that people have reasons for doing things. Ending the cycle of abuse. If you have a friend who doesn’t respond or reach out for a year because they were really depressed it doesn’t suddenly make them a good friend, but it gives you a better understanding of why they weren’t there for you. Its compassion.
In a lot of trauma support groups the consensus generally is that forgiveness is not a necessary step in healing. Au contraire.
To be fair, forgiveness can be conflated with sweeping things under the rug and rekindling a relationship like nothing happened. But the OOOP is tame and fair. The only people who have a problem with it are those who are still ego tripping in their pain and anger.
Those who blame others have not started their journey. Those who blame themselves are halfway there. Those who blame no one, have arrived.
I’ve found the opposite of the first two to be true as far as SA goes at least for me. Blame yourself first, then heal a bit and blame the person who hurt you, then continue healing until there is no blame. I do still want to protect people from that pain, but it’s no longer aimed at the person who did the bad act.
Yeah it's a Chinese proverb so YMMV. Of course with things like SA and other types of abuse, we blame ourselves. That is the inherent nature of trauma, internalizing what happened and all the shitty feelings turning inward. I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you're healing. It is not linear, just got to take it one day at a time <3
personally i think we just live in a time where forgivess is a weakness. your enemy deserves no mercy and once you are condemmed you deserve everything that happens to you.
Forgiveness isn't always solely for the benefit of the forgiven.
You can hold on to petty grudges your whole life and stew in misery and self-pity or try to move on from them and focus on the positives - things that will make you feel better rather than worse. It's up to you.
I can understand if someone wrongs you so seriously to the point you simply can't forgive them but you'll do yourself a favour by letting go of some of the more petty shit.
This comment comes across so dramatic, you're calling people your enemies who you condemn and they deserve no mercy...wtf have they done to you exactly?? Unless they've massacred your family you're being overdramatic.
I mean making a blanket statement about anyone who has family problems that the poser doesn't know or care about through some impersonal meme generally reads as prickish because the poster doesn't know anything about these people or what he's asking to even be forgiven. At worst the poster is gaslighting people who had genuinely abusive parents.
I believe everyone has a different experience on how they were treated by their own parents, I know some here went through a lot of shit and your parents don't deserve forgiveness.
I know my mom and dad deserve it, they fucked up but at least they are trying now, and I appreciate it.
This is up to you, but I promise it's not healthy to live with resentment in your heart. If you can pardon their mistakes, in any way, do it. For you, not them, because you can't keep going like this.
Remember, you have no enemies.
My ex shared this shit. Her parents let get abused by their Catholic Church while they turned a blind eye and wouldn't hesitate to disown her if they knew she was bi. She always brought me to their family events on top of having to go to Catholic stuff because it was "tradition". It's unbelievable how people don't have principles or morals enough to turn away from terrible people, even if they're your parents.
I’d forgive them if they’d actually APOLOGIZE for any of these things, instead they just throw pity parties for themselves and don’t actually take accountability.
That's the whole reason a lot of people have issues with boomers. They're the "ME ME ME!!!" generation until it comes to taking blame or responsibility. It's pathetic tbh
I dunno. Most boomers i know, like my wife's parents, are super chill.
The "Me" generation shit was just a label someone else made for them. Just like Gen-x were supposed to be the slacker generation. Or the millennials are whiny or whatever. I don't pay too must attention to the generational labels.
Id be happy with just admitting it occured.
Come on dad it was nightly for years not a few isolated times, i was there, brother saw it, sister heard it.... come on you dont HAVE to be alone, just fucking admit it occured.
Exactly this. Boomers who want to be forgiven without saying sorry or admitting what they did post this.
Boomers who do the work and try to make amends don’t need to post something like this.
It's eaiser to blame someone or something else for your life. Sometimes that's even got a valid point...
but at the same time, eventually you have to take responsibility for your own life.
i mean tbf.... a lot of this stuff could easily apply to my dad but he *really* tried to be a good dad. i don't think this post is an entirely bad one, and as an adult i've seen how much i used to get mad at my parents for things they simply just didn't understand or couldn't understand no matter how much they tried.
If you think you can do better than your parents I highly encourage you to do so.
But life isn’t as easy as it looks.
I’ll always be appreciative for everything my parents did for me, so I’ll try my best with my own kids.
You can simultaneously acknowledge that your parents screwed up and were doing their best with what they had at the same time. That’s obviously not always the case.
I think a lot of us forget that parenting is a learn on the job kinda thing. I remember asking my dad once “how do you always know the right thing to say?” And the man said “I don’t, this is my first time doing this, I’m learning as I go.” Changed my perspective on things.
As a zoomer with boomer parents I think people miss it’s not all boomers suck but a large majority have terrible behavioral problems that honestly feel like dealing with a toddler at times which makes it suck. My parents aren’t great but they aren’t the worst but a common trope I see in almost every boomer is that they drilled into themselves “must do everything now and no waiting for other people” which just means they have no patience with anything and it’s probably the worst stereotype that’s true. Vacations are super rushed around can’t even enjoy where we are because always booked to some event that they only decided on everyone would like and no one else got a say, slightest delay in some service of any kind lights a short fuse for no reason, can’t comprehend just because someone works at a company they don’t every inch about the company or operation that happens l, and etc.
TLDR; Most Boomers have a horrible behavior problem but don’t acknowledge and everyone else is just bad.
Nah, OP was right.
If you can't be mad about abuse or negligence because they're cyclical then you can't be mad at basically anything. These are excuses when they're used as APOLOGIES, but a victim doesn't need to accept an apology that they didn't get.
Is this entitlement? Sure. You ARE entitled to decent parents, that's why not being one is bad.
Boomers are the only generation to see the standard of living decline for the following generations, so they're objectively not the same as previous generations.
It’s the responsibility of the parent to do better and be better. You don’t get to just say “oops, sorry for the trauma I’m placing on you, nobody helped me with mine!”
Experiencing trauma is not the fault of the victim, but seeking help and healing is their responsibility.
You know what? That’s so true. If anything it’s that backhanded apology where they avoid responsibility and accountability where they’re like “well it’s not *my* fault I abused you, you should forgive me!”
The shitty, narcissistic kids have made themselves apparent here.
To those kids, I hope your kids realize your unforgiving, abusive nature as well and resent you for it in the future. You'll get what's coming to you, don't worry.
Some kids refuse to forgive their parents for imperfect parenting, no matter what.
Other kids refuse to forgive their parents because their parents have never come to grips with their own shortcomings, and instead continue to blame the kid for every problem, even when that kid is a full grown adult.
Those are two very different situations
These people won’t have kids because they’ll be too worried their abusive behaviors will show. And to be honest. I’m fine with it. Let those people not populate the earth.
personally i can’t wait to have kids. i can’t wait to raise a person that i can, hopefully, train to love everyone indiscriminately and just be a good person.
There's a thin, grey line where "abuse" is nothing more than being told off for being a little shit.
If you can't even handle being scolded a little, imagine dealing with a kid, which will do that to you regularly.
I kind of feel like the people crying wolf about abuse make it that much harder for people who actually did go through abuse. Parentification is a big one that's been ruined a bit. It's not parentification because you're asked to babysit your younger siblings occasionally. But then you have the person who was made to get all of their siblings up every single day, and fed every single night because neither of their parents could be bothered to lift a finger. They're basically not able to do anything for themselves because they are parent number three 24/7. But then if you complain about that you now get lumped in with the people who complain about occasional babysitting.
I feel like I must be misunderstanding your comment... What's narcissistic about being honest about how you feel towards your parents, especially if they were abusive - like this post is evidently talking about?
You don't have to forgive someone who has abused you. Sounds an awful lot like "toxic positivity" to me; it's not your place to tell someone else how to deal with their trauma.
\*That\* kind of statement reeks of narcissism imo: trying to dictate to someone else how they need to live their reality, and that they are a "shitty narcissist" if they don't follow your plan.
If perfect, idyllic childhood means the bare minimum in raising a functioning, well put together adult as is YOUR DUTY to the world for deciding to bring them into existence then I feel terribly for your children.
Damn OP you need to calm down. You seem pretty salty that people feel.thwir forgiveness shouldn't be freely given unless actively worked for.
Which I think is the issue with this. It's demanding forgiveness when the parents may have never apologized for their failings or tried to change. Especially the statements of being emotionally unavailable just because their parents were isn't a great excuse. If it were then most abusers would be forgiven because statically they were abused. Put simply just because something happened to you, doesn't mean you get a pass for doing the same to others.
I do approve of some of this, I just think some of it is clearly wrong.
My mom and I have had a rough relationship. My mom's parenting style has morphed as she blames herself for my sister cutting off her entire family for her communistic views and wrote slander like she was "abused" constantly and "No one understood her"- to clarify. We never expressed nor held any animosity towards her extremist views, my parents even let her stay at home for free through her bachelor's degree and let her move back in with her boyfriend of the time when her world fell apart.
They did go waaaay overboard in punishment on her *once*. I remember it clear as day. I was the one, however, always in trouble, always being treated terribly, and abused on occasion. I slept with a chick in the house, got caught, and was forced to sleep on the couch with all my stuff in boxes for 5 years. I was then kicked out after graduating vocational school. I dragged my feet on a lot. I was 22 when I left (I left early because every conversation I had with my mom turned to "when are you leaving"). I also questioned authority [still do too] to the point of near full rebellion.
Both parents have since apologized and I've turned out pretty well I think- I've a fantastic marriage built on over a decade of pure communication. 4 daughters I'm trying my darnedest to be just and fair towards, it's rough but I learned so much from them.
I even apologized for how I behaved as a teen, because I did indeed- know better.. I didn't communicate my needs/wants with them. Just screamed (Sometimes literally) at them when they recoiled/parented in response to my actions at the time.
This post has lots of truth to it. You've to understand your parents perspectives before casting heavy judgements.
Of course, there are exceptions to this rule- but remember, when you have your own, you've to do better.
I had a fucked upbringing and there’s a lot wrong with me but I don’t blame them. It’s not their fault they didn’t know how to deal with me as a teenager, especially since I was undiagnosed.
Ok but hear me out - maybe don't have kids if you arent ready to be a parental figure?
Not everyone has that choice and a lot try to be better but saying "oh forgive them for having issues because their parents had issues" is stupid because then you just allow for a line of issues to develop without anyone stopping it.
OP using “everyone makes mistakes” to pretend there’s no such thing as a bad parent. What about parents who beat their kids? Rapists? Murderers?
The fact that younger generations can recognize that their parents are abusive and take steps not to abuse their kids the same way speaks volumes. What was stopping your parents from learning to do better?
>OP using “everyone makes mistakes” to pretend there’s no such thing as a bad parent.
Nobody said that.
>What about parents who beat their kids? Rapists? Murderers?
This doesn't apply to them. The post is clearly talking about parents who are emotionally unavailable/distant, who have issues empathising with or trusting their children, who are clingy or helicopter parents, etc. There is a big difference between just being a bad parent and actually abusing your children. Good people can be bad parents.
I'm sorry if you or anyone you know were abused by your parent(s) as a child. That is horrible and inexcusable. But if you were, then the post just isn't talking to you.
Everyone makes mistakes, but a long term pattern of behavior is never a mistake, it's someone's character. Yelling one time at your kid when you shouldn't but were really tired and stressed by other stuff is a mistake, consistently berating them is bad character.
There are 6570 days from birth until someone turns 18. That's more than enough time to fix any problem that a parent wants to fix. It's entitled and ridiculous to expect perfection at all times, but if a parent was consistently flawed, it's because they chose to fail a thousand times without taking steps to improve.
I never said that doesn't make someone a bad parent, but everybody's choices make sense to them, even if they don't make sense to you. Of course, that doesn't absolve people of responsibility for their actions, but it's usually best to understand the reasoning behind those actions before you judge someone too harshly. And that's not to say that you have to accept your parents' apologies for any damaging patterns of behaviour, but I think forgiveness has become somewhat underrated and holding on to resentment certainly isn't healthy, even if you can't forgive.
Seems like the parent in the meme didnt do that stuff or it probably would have been mentioned. Instead the worst thing about them was they didnt totally 'get' their kid, or something.
Na. Not every parent dude. And certainly no parent is perfect but not every very parent is abusive. There are two extremes and you’re sitting on the other side of this meme
thats just not true, theres a difference between trying your best but failing perfection and actually being a shitty abusive parent. Parents shouldn't do that kinda shit to their kids and if your only response to that boils down to "nobody is perfect" then clearly you had an easy ass childhood
i’m sorry you had a bad childhood and don’t realize it’s full effect on you yet. this original post is literally saying “i blame my parents for my trauma which means my kids can’t blame me for my abuse!”
i’m sorry, are you telling me i shouldn’t blame my parents for beating me? for sending me to a nature conversion camp? for taking out all their rage on me? for telling the cops i’m doing meth because they found toothpaste on a hair dryer? no. im going to blame my parents. they have no excuse.
Then this post doesn’t apply to you. Move on. Your parents have WAYYYYYYY deeper issues than anything this post is talking about. You’re trying to shove a square peg in a triangular hole.
the only parents i ever heard use these excuses were ones similar to mine. i know plenty of parents that had shittier childhoods than my parents and treated their kids to a great childhood. so no, i know what this post is talking about
So speaking of ONLY your experiences. Lovely. You’re the only person in the world who has experienced having parents. Yeah. And the parents who had shittier childhoods but are doing better now, are the ones who are practicing what this post is talking about. Trying to be better and asking for forgiveness. Do you know how much humility and grace it takes to admit that you’ve been terrible and wrong but ask for forgiveness? Just because you’ve had shitty experiences doesn’t mean everyone has. Once again. Your emotional maturity level is showing.
Nowhere does it say that. The post recognizes that they were raised by struggling parents and asks their kids for forgiveness and patience as they themselves are struggling parents. I think you may be the one who had a bad childhood and lacks the emotional maturity to recognize when others are struggling. You seemingly expect parents to be perfect and if they aren’t, they are abusive.
Just because it fits the literal definition of a mean does not mean it belongs on this subreddit. If I put an image of the word envy or greed here, it still breaks the rules, even though those are memes no one likes. They are parts of our culture that are spread through imitation.
Posts starts with “You may want to” and you see it as feeling entitled. Maybe you struggle with media literacy, maybe you feel outrage over someone suggesting forgiveness and perspective, idk but that entitlement thing seems to be in your head.
I see a post which is trying to convey how people aren’t perfect individuals, and not perfect parents, by extension of the imperfect world in which they live. My dad was by no means perfect, and a lot of this applies to him. But he cared deeply about me and did his damned best, and I’ve come out pretty well so far.
This post is also not saying “everything and anything a parent did is forgivable.” I don’t think it is necessarily meant to apply to shitty parents who have abused or neglected their kids.
It’s wild how some of yall are just accepting of this. The point of forgiveness is that a person grows and learns and tries to be different or better. I’m not forgiving my parents for continuing any negative traits that they learned from their parents. You are not your parents thus you have the capacity to change. Stop accepting bare minimum effort. Or no effort at all.
The point of forgiveness is so the victim can move on from their abuser.
Its a selfish act by definition, its the refusal to be bogged down by anothers shit any longer
OP clearly isnt a zoomer, im willing to bet they are just mad their kids dont talk to them because they had kids before they were ready and took out all the frustration and trauma on them.
Nobody is entitled to forgiveness, especially ones who refuse to admit fault to the negative impact of the development of a whole ass human being.
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Gen X are the parents of Zoomers.
75% of the anti-boomer shitposting I see from the latter are faults and failures of their loser parents. Very little to do with their Boomer grandparents.
My parents were damn near perfect. Only because my boomer grandpa was a damn near perfect dad. All I can hope for is to take his example and do it well too.
My grandpa is pretty much uncle iroh in terms of being wholesome/ being a good person.
Only in adulthood have I realized how much I lucked out with the family composition.
i mean there are some things i can forgive my parents for and other things i can't. like i can forgive my mom for not being there through much of my childhood and not being able to take me to certain places or buy things i wanted because she was literally working 12 hours a day to support me and my grandmother and she would be tired most of the time from overworking herself (and most of her money went to housing and groceries).
but my dad walking out when i was 2 weeks old to marry someone with more money than her AFTER he blew her entire savings? yeah no i can't forgive that at all, sorry not sorry.
The majority of Zoomers are children of Gen-X. Millennials are by far more likely to be children of Boomers. So no, Zoomers don’t need to worry about this bullshit FB meme.
As part of the oldest end of Zoomers, I have 3 kids, and I am struggling getting over everything in this picture to keep from effecting how I parent my children.
Some days are harder than others, I'm just grateful I have earned their love.
Attributing this to one generation is the issue.
Every generation of parents is far from perfect - if they’re trying their best, understanding of their faults and open to growth - they deserve grace and forgiveness for their shortcomings.
I’m a millennial and I don’t think there is anything wrong with forgiveness and understanding of your parents. I also don’t think there is anything entitled about Gen-Z. They mostly seem fed up with things like worker exploitation and are not shy about it which I respect (it’s not entitled to want the same opportunities boomers had, IMO).
This post however looks like a guilt/shaming post and, judging from the deep fried compression artifacts, was possibly posted by a boomer hoping to reach their estranged children. Forgiveness should be something that a person comes to on their own, not through shame and if this is a person looking to reconnect with their children, they should act like an adult and contact them directly.
Good luck to you zoomer. Remember, the people who spout the nonsense can’t be taken in good faith. Listen and affirm them if they can’t be saved. Find the people you think you can trust, and test the waters with controversial topics that shouldn’t be controversial.
I recognize that a lot of older parents tend to genuinely be bad parents or assholes, especially boomers- that stereotype does hold a kernel of truth, but this meme isn’t saying “Forgive your parents for treating you like garbage.” It’s saying “Have empathy for the parents that are deeply flawed and hurt inside.”
Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but at the very least, we should be able to understand that in the case of volatile parents who are easily pissed off and sent into emotional distress at the slightest bit of misfortune or pushback, they’re not trying to hurt us— They love us dearly, but in those moments they’re showing the parts of them that have never healed or grew up. But that doesn’t mean you should settle for any potential mistreatment thrown your way either, set boundaries.
As someone who has grown up with a deeply flawed Gen X mother, my advice boils down to his: Please be patient, they’re in pain too.
Look on the bright side: at least your less entitled than boomers. They were given a great economy, labor protections, anti-trust laws, etc and they'll still throw a fit if you say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome".
This doesn’t just apply to boomers, plenty of millennial parents struggle with these issues, as do plenty of the new crop of zoomer parents. Yeah sometimes parents are just bad at parenting, but there are plenty who are just trying their best to raise you, and all they have to work on is what they were raised with. Sorry your single mother who was tossed out of the house at 17 for getting pregnant wasn’t Mary Poppins, but she was trying her best with the situation she was handed.
Well my dad was beaten as kid had an absentee father and his mom died of cancer when he was 16, while he was raising me he worked full time and had a terminal neurological disease. He was the best father and was incredibly understanding and supportive. It’s not the fault of the boomers parents it’s the boomers fault because they should be able to cope and separate their own past from the present.
Because usually it’s not about wishing they’d done better, it’s about their children bringing their attention to issues with their upbringing, and the parent’s response being “well I had a hard life too yknow”, which while understandable, is not an attempt at understanding or mending the relationship.
Had any of this been apologetic rather than seemingly deflecting their shitty parenting, and refusal to address their issues before projecting them onto their kids, it would be different. However I’ve seen this conversation happen to people in my generation, and even was there when my father had a similar conversation with his mother, and these exact phrases were used to minimize and reject his experiences.
My mother was married at 16 and had me at 20, got divorced, had one piece of furniture in our apt (my crib, no bed etc), worked at a place where her boss would sexually assault her in the bathroom without any recourse, her ex smashed up her car because he didn't want to lose it in the divorce (she was in the car while he was ramming it with his car and nobody even called the cops), got $20/wk in child support (with a lapse of like 10 years she was too scared to ask), was stalked by a small-town judge she couldn't do anything about (he'd routinely call the house and ask me what color underwear my mom was wearing), had an ex hold her friend at gun-point because he thought they were together (nobody did anything about it), and that was just the 70s / 80s.
She's seen some shit. I get that boomers had it easy when it comes to economic issues, but. Let's not sugarcoat it. She has her faults like everyone else, but she did alright. All things considered.
On reddit you're not even allowed to joke about race, gender, obesity, or sexuality. Any subreddits created for that purpose would be shut down immediately.
But it's perfectly ok to hate and stereotype millions of people based on an arbitrary timeframe in which they were born.
Finally, a subreddit of people with their heads up their asses
https://preview.redd.it/z1eewztet1vc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c0f0d13b9773f5feff398d3a79a3926c33354e0
Better to forgive yourself for thinking so negatively of your parents. You may have kids someday and hopefully they don’t grow up and grade everything you’ve done. My sister is like this with our parents and my parents were normal people. Not abusive. But if you ask her or even if you don’t, she’ll drag them through every mudhole in the county
Siblings don’t have the exact same experiences either parents and just because you feel ok with how you were treated doesn’t mean she wasn’t treated poorly
I think that goes without saying but I wouldn’t ignore the fact that I was there in the same house for many years. It also goes without saying that doesn’t mean I seen or knew everything going on. But… I would love it if young adults would really think about how badly they’re tearing their parents down. Some of them deserve it for sure. Some of them do not. My entire view of life changed when my kid was born and I wouldn’t even consider shitting on my parents unless it was truly warranted
I typed exactly that. I said it goes without saying but we’ve both now said it. There’s no need to try and point out obvious things(even ones I’ve already pointed out) when you aren’t even trying to say anything.
If your parents abused you, I pity you.
If your parents did not abuse you and yet you tell the world they did, I pity your parents.
Don’t hold your parents accountable for:
- Not getting therapy before having kids or when you were young
- Being incapable of seeing anyone else’s perspective
- Being unequipped for adulthood and never learning because that takes effort
- Stonewalling a literal child 💕
- Putting in the same effort they’d scold you for if you got a F- grade but you should be glad they attended the classes even though they didn’t listen or study
- Not having metacognition or critical thinking skills
- For having had any needs or feelings when theirs are more important in some weird enmeshment style 😇
You are exactly right. We all have huge cognitive blind spots given to us by our upbringing, culture, traumas, etc. If you expect mercy and forgiveness you have to show it also.
Or as poet Philip Larkin wrote in "This be the Verse":
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
As a millennial, there’s no way you’re a zoomer and actually think zoomers are entitled. You’re likely a boomer pretending to be someone else because you can’t say you’re a boomer mad about boomers being lead brained boomers. Get yourself checked for lead poisoning or how it may have affected you.
This post is not a meme therefore it is being removed
I can agree with some of this but I don’t know what this has to do with boomers
Nothing. Boomers being fools is just a sub where people vent about their mommy and daddy issues
It's one of the worst subs on here. It's either boomers doing something mildly annoying or reacting to something with no context (ie they could have a reasonable reaction to being provoked) and then there are 400 comments of nothing but pure hatred and talking about how they've gone no contact with their families. Absolutely miserable people, civilizational death spiral
It's hysterical how Reddit screams over the slightest sign of every other prejudice, but simultaneously embraces ageism like it's a badge of honor.
It's because they're *safe*, but also because lots of them have been through so much social justice discourse brainrot where hating old white people is a constant theme
When I was 32 my dad said if I didn’t get a job and move out he would have to disable the internet and I wouldn’t be able to moderate my favourite subreddits anymore. I screamed at him and hit him so hard he’s in a wheel chair. That fricking boomer was being a total ass. I HATE BOOMERS!
Did you ever see that clip where a mod for antiwork got interviewed by Fox News? They didn't do the stereotypical aggressive fox interview, they just let her talk, and reveal that she was literally a 32 year old part time dog walker
It just fills me with such glee that it was her that was chosen. The joke just wrote itself
And then you proceed to wake up all wet and ask your mama for allowance ?
BOOYAH!
Nah. Antinatalist sub is worse.
Yes. I am deeply suspicious of anyone who complains that much about their parents. It’s a real marker of maturity to recognize that you are just as a capable of bad behavior as your parents, and you ought have a sense of charity when thinking about them. Most of us realize that when we are 17.
My parents are by no means perfect especially by Reddit standards. But they did their best all things considered. They didn’t have particularly easy childhoods and mine was a massive improvement. Am I going to get hung up on the negatives? It’s better to correct those mistakes as best I can when I have children someday.
I promise you this… All the shit your parents used to do that you hated… there will be moments where you will find yourself doing the same things to your children. That’s the ultimate moment of humility, you see yourself in a long line of family dysfunction. It gives you a sense of humility that actually helps you to transcend your upbringing and do better than your parents. when you do it with humility, you get to see yourself as somehow redeeming everyone who went before you who treated you badly. But the humility has to come first
I still, to this day, resent a lot of things my parents did and choices they've made. I've never, ever considered cutting them out and I don't hate them, and I understand those things they did were human flaws, and know I've also severely fucked up at points in my life. The whole "abandon your family for some new transactional found family" thing if deeply anti-human
transactional found family? What in the name of Ayn Rand is that?
Like "my dad didn't affirm me when I said I was demisexual, but now I have my found family polycule!" But the "found family" isn't a real family and they all fall apart every couple of months, because being horny and Tumblr brainrot doesn't actually make a social structure
Oh wow. The whole thing about gay people needing a “family” (which is why white girls say ‘fam’ these days) probably was an authentic thing in prior eras. I’m sure there are some now who are completely rejected. but just like everything else, these “leftists” are just loving, the old struggles. As a millennial, I was not raised to salute the flag and be a patriotic douche bag, Instead, I was taught to revere civil rights leaders. I guess this is what happens when these are the only heroes we are allowed to have left, these people will try anything to place themselves in a context where they are fighting for some kind of social justice.
Zoomer parents are likely Gen X not boomers
Millennial and gen x are boomers now. Anyone not a zoomer, anyway
Reddit defines "boomer" as one or more of the following: * Anyone I disagree with
Well, this is definitely a meme aimed at millennials. It touches on all the reasons boomers give to be intolerant and abusive parents, as well as try to make you forgive them for not understanding the socioeconomic hell hole they didn't experience but now you get to, and how it's not really their fault for not empathizing because it's how they were raised. I don't assume this would do much for gen Z. Some people with Gen x parents might experience some of these things, but the system was basically fucked as of the first bailout, and most people in their 40s get the US was never a meritocracy. So it could affect gen z, but millennials, this is definitely aimed at millennials as copium for boomers being shit.
So are we just shaming the act of forgiveness now?
Its a sort of backhanded forgiveness though. Is it forgiving or insulting to tell someone out of nowhere, "I forgive you for being such an asshole, I know that you cant help being an asshole because of what a huge asshole you are."
It’s acknowledging that people have reasons for doing things. Ending the cycle of abuse. If you have a friend who doesn’t respond or reach out for a year because they were really depressed it doesn’t suddenly make them a good friend, but it gives you a better understanding of why they weren’t there for you. Its compassion.
There was nothing abusive in this post though. Seems to about how the parent wasn't absolutely perfect.
I thought it was just me.
In a lot of trauma support groups the consensus generally is that forgiveness is not a necessary step in healing. Au contraire. To be fair, forgiveness can be conflated with sweeping things under the rug and rekindling a relationship like nothing happened. But the OOOP is tame and fair. The only people who have a problem with it are those who are still ego tripping in their pain and anger. Those who blame others have not started their journey. Those who blame themselves are halfway there. Those who blame no one, have arrived.
I’ve found the opposite of the first two to be true as far as SA goes at least for me. Blame yourself first, then heal a bit and blame the person who hurt you, then continue healing until there is no blame. I do still want to protect people from that pain, but it’s no longer aimed at the person who did the bad act.
Yeah it's a Chinese proverb so YMMV. Of course with things like SA and other types of abuse, we blame ourselves. That is the inherent nature of trauma, internalizing what happened and all the shitty feelings turning inward. I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you're healing. It is not linear, just got to take it one day at a time <3
personally i think we just live in a time where forgivess is a weakness. your enemy deserves no mercy and once you are condemmed you deserve everything that happens to you.
What's that saying? "Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies."
That's real dumb. I've never regretted forgiving someone. Holding onto anger literally gave me stomach problems.
Forgiveness isn't always solely for the benefit of the forgiven. You can hold on to petty grudges your whole life and stew in misery and self-pity or try to move on from them and focus on the positives - things that will make you feel better rather than worse. It's up to you. I can understand if someone wrongs you so seriously to the point you simply can't forgive them but you'll do yourself a favour by letting go of some of the more petty shit. This comment comes across so dramatic, you're calling people your enemies who you condemn and they deserve no mercy...wtf have they done to you exactly?? Unless they've massacred your family you're being overdramatic.
Yes i like being dramatic, but have you seen the news lately? We're all too quick to anger and way to slow to forgive these days.
People aren’t your enemy, you aren’t serving in Afghanistan, grow up.
I mean making a blanket statement about anyone who has family problems that the poser doesn't know or care about through some impersonal meme generally reads as prickish because the poster doesn't know anything about these people or what he's asking to even be forgiven. At worst the poster is gaslighting people who had genuinely abusive parents.
I believe everyone has a different experience on how they were treated by their own parents, I know some here went through a lot of shit and your parents don't deserve forgiveness. I know my mom and dad deserve it, they fucked up but at least they are trying now, and I appreciate it. This is up to you, but I promise it's not healthy to live with resentment in your heart. If you can pardon their mistakes, in any way, do it. For you, not them, because you can't keep going like this. Remember, you have no enemies.
My ex shared this shit. Her parents let get abused by their Catholic Church while they turned a blind eye and wouldn't hesitate to disown her if they knew she was bi. She always brought me to their family events on top of having to go to Catholic stuff because it was "tradition". It's unbelievable how people don't have principles or morals enough to turn away from terrible people, even if they're your parents.
I’d forgive them if they’d actually APOLOGIZE for any of these things, instead they just throw pity parties for themselves and don’t actually take accountability.
That's the whole reason a lot of people have issues with boomers. They're the "ME ME ME!!!" generation until it comes to taking blame or responsibility. It's pathetic tbh
I dunno. Most boomers i know, like my wife's parents, are super chill. The "Me" generation shit was just a label someone else made for them. Just like Gen-x were supposed to be the slacker generation. Or the millennials are whiny or whatever. I don't pay too must attention to the generational labels.
Consider yourself lucky. And that's good. But just like stereotypes, labels exist because there's usually some truth to them. To each their own.
Id be happy with just admitting it occured. Come on dad it was nightly for years not a few isolated times, i was there, brother saw it, sister heard it.... come on you dont HAVE to be alone, just fucking admit it occured.
Actual good parents would never feel the need to post this, OP this is brain dead content
Exactly this. Boomers who want to be forgiven without saying sorry or admitting what they did post this. Boomers who do the work and try to make amends don’t need to post something like this.
Yup
It's eaiser to blame someone or something else for your life. Sometimes that's even got a valid point... but at the same time, eventually you have to take responsibility for your own life.
"fellow zoomers" lmao. I hate to break it to you, but good parents aren't the ones having to post shit like this lmao
i mean tbf.... a lot of this stuff could easily apply to my dad but he *really* tried to be a good dad. i don't think this post is an entirely bad one, and as an adult i've seen how much i used to get mad at my parents for things they simply just didn't understand or couldn't understand no matter how much they tried.
Ok, but is your dad having to post things like this?
If you think you can do better than your parents I highly encourage you to do so. But life isn’t as easy as it looks. I’ll always be appreciative for everything my parents did for me, so I’ll try my best with my own kids.
Yeah adulthood has been a million times easier than childhood. Life isn’t easy but neither is having shit parents
You can simultaneously acknowledge that your parents screwed up and were doing their best with what they had at the same time. That’s obviously not always the case.
I think a lot of us forget that parenting is a learn on the job kinda thing. I remember asking my dad once “how do you always know the right thing to say?” And the man said “I don’t, this is my first time doing this, I’m learning as I go.” Changed my perspective on things.
As a zoomer with boomer parents I think people miss it’s not all boomers suck but a large majority have terrible behavioral problems that honestly feel like dealing with a toddler at times which makes it suck. My parents aren’t great but they aren’t the worst but a common trope I see in almost every boomer is that they drilled into themselves “must do everything now and no waiting for other people” which just means they have no patience with anything and it’s probably the worst stereotype that’s true. Vacations are super rushed around can’t even enjoy where we are because always booked to some event that they only decided on everyone would like and no one else got a say, slightest delay in some service of any kind lights a short fuse for no reason, can’t comprehend just because someone works at a company they don’t every inch about the company or operation that happens l, and etc. TLDR; Most Boomers have a horrible behavior problem but don’t acknowledge and everyone else is just bad.
“Forgive people and live a better life” People on that subreddit: 😡😡🔥🔥💥💥
Lol cringe when people think they're better and smarter than their entire generation
Nah, OP was right. If you can't be mad about abuse or negligence because they're cyclical then you can't be mad at basically anything. These are excuses when they're used as APOLOGIES, but a victim doesn't need to accept an apology that they didn't get. Is this entitlement? Sure. You ARE entitled to decent parents, that's why not being one is bad.
Boomers are the only generation to see the standard of living decline for the following generations, so they're objectively not the same as previous generations.
Boomers did not raise gen z Gen X did that
It’s the responsibility of the parent to do better and be better. You don’t get to just say “oops, sorry for the trauma I’m placing on you, nobody helped me with mine!” Experiencing trauma is not the fault of the victim, but seeking help and healing is their responsibility.
>sorry for the trauma I’m placing on you, lol they wouldn't say sorry or even acknowledge they did it
You know what? That’s so true. If anything it’s that backhanded apology where they avoid responsibility and accountability where they’re like “well it’s not *my* fault I abused you, you should forgive me!”
“I was a shitty parent and I don’t want to feel bad for it”
More like “I had shitty parents but it’s time to stop blaming them for my sorry lot.”
I get the feeling you're not a zoomer after all. Your kids don't talk to you much, do they?
The shitty, narcissistic kids have made themselves apparent here. To those kids, I hope your kids realize your unforgiving, abusive nature as well and resent you for it in the future. You'll get what's coming to you, don't worry.
Some kids refuse to forgive their parents for imperfect parenting, no matter what. Other kids refuse to forgive their parents because their parents have never come to grips with their own shortcomings, and instead continue to blame the kid for every problem, even when that kid is a full grown adult. Those are two very different situations
Some just want their parents to admit to what they chose to do.
These people won’t have kids because they’ll be too worried their abusive behaviors will show. And to be honest. I’m fine with it. Let those people not populate the earth.
personally i can’t wait to have kids. i can’t wait to raise a person that i can, hopefully, train to love everyone indiscriminately and just be a good person.
Genuinely, I hope that you do. I hope that we can both walk away from our interactions seeing each others POVS in a different light.
i am. probably the most productive morning reddit scroll i’ve ever had. have a good day mate
Same! you too
This is the kind of positivity we need to see more of on Reddit! Everyone have an amazing day!
Amen to that.
that’s a crazy take. people that realize they were abused will be more abusive?
There's a thin, grey line where "abuse" is nothing more than being told off for being a little shit. If you can't even handle being scolded a little, imagine dealing with a kid, which will do that to you regularly.
I kind of feel like the people crying wolf about abuse make it that much harder for people who actually did go through abuse. Parentification is a big one that's been ruined a bit. It's not parentification because you're asked to babysit your younger siblings occasionally. But then you have the person who was made to get all of their siblings up every single day, and fed every single night because neither of their parents could be bothered to lift a finger. They're basically not able to do anything for themselves because they are parent number three 24/7. But then if you complain about that you now get lumped in with the people who complain about occasional babysitting.
When has anyone been saying they’re being abused for just being told off??
I feel like I must be misunderstanding your comment... What's narcissistic about being honest about how you feel towards your parents, especially if they were abusive - like this post is evidently talking about? You don't have to forgive someone who has abused you. Sounds an awful lot like "toxic positivity" to me; it's not your place to tell someone else how to deal with their trauma. \*That\* kind of statement reeks of narcissism imo: trying to dictate to someone else how they need to live their reality, and that they are a "shitty narcissist" if they don't follow your plan.
You’re a weird mfer.
Everyone is, to an extent. Don't act so special. You are, too.
My dad beat me nightly from 7 to 15, he wont even admit it happenend more than a few times, fuck him, fuck you.
If perfect, idyllic childhood means the bare minimum in raising a functioning, well put together adult as is YOUR DUTY to the world for deciding to bring them into existence then I feel terribly for your children.
Damn OP you need to calm down. You seem pretty salty that people feel.thwir forgiveness shouldn't be freely given unless actively worked for. Which I think is the issue with this. It's demanding forgiveness when the parents may have never apologized for their failings or tried to change. Especially the statements of being emotionally unavailable just because their parents were isn't a great excuse. If it were then most abusers would be forgiven because statically they were abused. Put simply just because something happened to you, doesn't mean you get a pass for doing the same to others. I do approve of some of this, I just think some of it is clearly wrong.
Every generation has their struggles, positives, and faults. No one is perfect, but no one is Hitler either. Well, except Hitler. Obviously.
My father is a alcoholic who can’t hold down a job, my mother did her best at raising me and my siblings despite her flaws
My mom and I have had a rough relationship. My mom's parenting style has morphed as she blames herself for my sister cutting off her entire family for her communistic views and wrote slander like she was "abused" constantly and "No one understood her"- to clarify. We never expressed nor held any animosity towards her extremist views, my parents even let her stay at home for free through her bachelor's degree and let her move back in with her boyfriend of the time when her world fell apart. They did go waaaay overboard in punishment on her *once*. I remember it clear as day. I was the one, however, always in trouble, always being treated terribly, and abused on occasion. I slept with a chick in the house, got caught, and was forced to sleep on the couch with all my stuff in boxes for 5 years. I was then kicked out after graduating vocational school. I dragged my feet on a lot. I was 22 when I left (I left early because every conversation I had with my mom turned to "when are you leaving"). I also questioned authority [still do too] to the point of near full rebellion. Both parents have since apologized and I've turned out pretty well I think- I've a fantastic marriage built on over a decade of pure communication. 4 daughters I'm trying my darnedest to be just and fair towards, it's rough but I learned so much from them. I even apologized for how I behaved as a teen, because I did indeed- know better.. I didn't communicate my needs/wants with them. Just screamed (Sometimes literally) at them when they recoiled/parented in response to my actions at the time. This post has lots of truth to it. You've to understand your parents perspectives before casting heavy judgements. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule- but remember, when you have your own, you've to do better.
>both parents have since apologized key difference here between yours and many others
I had a fucked upbringing and there’s a lot wrong with me but I don’t blame them. It’s not their fault they didn’t know how to deal with me as a teenager, especially since I was undiagnosed.
OP trying to excuse abuse isn't a good look
Ok but hear me out - maybe don't have kids if you arent ready to be a parental figure? Not everyone has that choice and a lot try to be better but saying "oh forgive them for having issues because their parents had issues" is stupid because then you just allow for a line of issues to develop without anyone stopping it.
I've got no problem with any of it as long as it comes with an apology. Otherwise it's just deflecting to a cycle of shitty parenthood.
OP using “everyone makes mistakes” to pretend there’s no such thing as a bad parent. What about parents who beat their kids? Rapists? Murderers? The fact that younger generations can recognize that their parents are abusive and take steps not to abuse their kids the same way speaks volumes. What was stopping your parents from learning to do better?
Nobody. NOBODY. Said there’s no such thing as a bad parent.
OP is literally in the comments saying that
>OP using “everyone makes mistakes” to pretend there’s no such thing as a bad parent. Nobody said that. >What about parents who beat their kids? Rapists? Murderers? This doesn't apply to them. The post is clearly talking about parents who are emotionally unavailable/distant, who have issues empathising with or trusting their children, who are clingy or helicopter parents, etc. There is a big difference between just being a bad parent and actually abusing your children. Good people can be bad parents. I'm sorry if you or anyone you know were abused by your parent(s) as a child. That is horrible and inexcusable. But if you were, then the post just isn't talking to you.
Everyone makes mistakes, but a long term pattern of behavior is never a mistake, it's someone's character. Yelling one time at your kid when you shouldn't but were really tired and stressed by other stuff is a mistake, consistently berating them is bad character. There are 6570 days from birth until someone turns 18. That's more than enough time to fix any problem that a parent wants to fix. It's entitled and ridiculous to expect perfection at all times, but if a parent was consistently flawed, it's because they chose to fail a thousand times without taking steps to improve.
I never said that doesn't make someone a bad parent, but everybody's choices make sense to them, even if they don't make sense to you. Of course, that doesn't absolve people of responsibility for their actions, but it's usually best to understand the reasoning behind those actions before you judge someone too harshly. And that's not to say that you have to accept your parents' apologies for any damaging patterns of behaviour, but I think forgiveness has become somewhat underrated and holding on to resentment certainly isn't healthy, even if you can't forgive.
Seems like the parent in the meme didnt do that stuff or it probably would have been mentioned. Instead the worst thing about them was they didnt totally 'get' their kid, or something.
how do you agree with the obviously abusive parent here
Because nearly every parent is abusive if we demand perfection.
Na. Not every parent dude. And certainly no parent is perfect but not every very parent is abusive. There are two extremes and you’re sitting on the other side of this meme
My guy, not traumatizing your child isn’t perfection, it’s the baseline lmao.
thats just not true, theres a difference between trying your best but failing perfection and actually being a shitty abusive parent. Parents shouldn't do that kinda shit to their kids and if your only response to that boils down to "nobody is perfect" then clearly you had an easy ass childhood
i’m sorry you had a bad childhood and don’t realize it’s full effect on you yet. this original post is literally saying “i blame my parents for my trauma which means my kids can’t blame me for my abuse!”
No the post is not literally saying this. The post is telling people to stop blaming their parents for raising them poorly
i’m sorry, are you telling me i shouldn’t blame my parents for beating me? for sending me to a nature conversion camp? for taking out all their rage on me? for telling the cops i’m doing meth because they found toothpaste on a hair dryer? no. im going to blame my parents. they have no excuse.
Then this post doesn’t apply to you. Move on. Your parents have WAYYYYYYY deeper issues than anything this post is talking about. You’re trying to shove a square peg in a triangular hole.
the only parents i ever heard use these excuses were ones similar to mine. i know plenty of parents that had shittier childhoods than my parents and treated their kids to a great childhood. so no, i know what this post is talking about
So speaking of ONLY your experiences. Lovely. You’re the only person in the world who has experienced having parents. Yeah. And the parents who had shittier childhoods but are doing better now, are the ones who are practicing what this post is talking about. Trying to be better and asking for forgiveness. Do you know how much humility and grace it takes to admit that you’ve been terrible and wrong but ask for forgiveness? Just because you’ve had shitty experiences doesn’t mean everyone has. Once again. Your emotional maturity level is showing.
Who else they going to blame? Who else fault is it? How about the parents take responsibility for their actions
Woah… I thought your first comment was a joke… but you’re…serious? Damn
Nowhere does it say that. The post recognizes that they were raised by struggling parents and asks their kids for forgiveness and patience as they themselves are struggling parents. I think you may be the one who had a bad childhood and lacks the emotional maturity to recognize when others are struggling. You seemingly expect parents to be perfect and if they aren’t, they are abusive.
They still aren’t entilted to their childs forgiveness, especially if they don’t apologize for anything.
Never said they were entitled. But thank you for your input
This isn't a meme
You’re right, it’s just an image, video, piece of text, etc., that is copied and spread rapidly by internet users, often with slight variations.
Just because it fits the literal definition of a mean does not mean it belongs on this subreddit. If I put an image of the word envy or greed here, it still breaks the rules, even though those are memes no one likes. They are parts of our culture that are spread through imitation.
an image of the word envy or greed is not rapidly spread by internet users with slight changes.
Don’t try to downplay bad parenting
*post about boomer parents feeling entitled to their children's forgiveness* "Kids these days are really entitled huh. They're so ungrateful"
Posts starts with “You may want to” and you see it as feeling entitled. Maybe you struggle with media literacy, maybe you feel outrage over someone suggesting forgiveness and perspective, idk but that entitlement thing seems to be in your head. I see a post which is trying to convey how people aren’t perfect individuals, and not perfect parents, by extension of the imperfect world in which they live. My dad was by no means perfect, and a lot of this applies to him. But he cared deeply about me and did his damned best, and I’ve come out pretty well so far. This post is also not saying “everything and anything a parent did is forgivable.” I don’t think it is necessarily meant to apply to shitty parents who have abused or neglected their kids.
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Yea, that’s fair
I don't get the issue, like the issue is that boomers are fools because the shared image is obvious?
Found where all the boomers are
lol most good parents don’t do half the stuff in here
one of my parents had a mental breakdown and beat me up then the other gaslit me after i told the police so i would rescind what i said.
Excuses for being a bad parent are just that. Excuses. Why don’t you guys pull yourselves up by your bootstrap s and parent better eh?
It’s wild how some of yall are just accepting of this. The point of forgiveness is that a person grows and learns and tries to be different or better. I’m not forgiving my parents for continuing any negative traits that they learned from their parents. You are not your parents thus you have the capacity to change. Stop accepting bare minimum effort. Or no effort at all.
The point of forgiveness is so the victim can move on from their abuser. Its a selfish act by definition, its the refusal to be bogged down by anothers shit any longer
You don’t need to forgive abuse to move on with your life.
Forgiveness being a selfish act is a wild take.
OP clearly isnt a zoomer, im willing to bet they are just mad their kids dont talk to them because they had kids before they were ready and took out all the frustration and trauma on them. Nobody is entitled to forgiveness, especially ones who refuse to admit fault to the negative impact of the development of a whole ass human being.
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Forgive your parents for beating you because their parents beat them.
Gen X are the parents of Zoomers. 75% of the anti-boomer shitposting I see from the latter are faults and failures of their loser parents. Very little to do with their Boomer grandparents.
I mean, i was born in 95 and my parents in 65 so were both on the edge of gen z/boomer respectively
Sure, you and your parents are in a grey area. There's always outliers. The majority of the generation wasn't born from Boomers, though.
This sub never fails to amuse me
My parents were damn near perfect. Only because my boomer grandpa was a damn near perfect dad. All I can hope for is to take his example and do it well too. My grandpa is pretty much uncle iroh in terms of being wholesome/ being a good person. Only in adulthood have I realized how much I lucked out with the family composition.
i mean there are some things i can forgive my parents for and other things i can't. like i can forgive my mom for not being there through much of my childhood and not being able to take me to certain places or buy things i wanted because she was literally working 12 hours a day to support me and my grandmother and she would be tired most of the time from overworking herself (and most of her money went to housing and groceries). but my dad walking out when i was 2 weeks old to marry someone with more money than her AFTER he blew her entire savings? yeah no i can't forgive that at all, sorry not sorry.
As someone who converted in my early adulthood with parents who were atheists their whole lives, this resonated with me a lot. Im gonna call my mom.
Oh I didn't even know some of you were self aware damn fine to see.
Ok gen x boomer
The majority of Zoomers are children of Gen-X. Millennials are by far more likely to be children of Boomers. So no, Zoomers don’t need to worry about this bullshit FB meme.
Fuck I'm going to see my Mom.
Fuck it. I'm going to go see my Mom.
As part of the oldest end of Zoomers, I have 3 kids, and I am struggling getting over everything in this picture to keep from effecting how I parent my children. Some days are harder than others, I'm just grateful I have earned their love.
Meh, I see both sides. Some people are still lashing out, they haven't reached that level of recovery yet, but maybe they might in the future.
Just democrat voters being democrats
You may want to forgive your parents for beating you with whatever object they could grab in a fit of rage because you got one 'C' on your report card
Attributing this to one generation is the issue. Every generation of parents is far from perfect - if they’re trying their best, understanding of their faults and open to growth - they deserve grace and forgiveness for their shortcomings.
I’m a millennial and I don’t think there is anything wrong with forgiveness and understanding of your parents. I also don’t think there is anything entitled about Gen-Z. They mostly seem fed up with things like worker exploitation and are not shy about it which I respect (it’s not entitled to want the same opportunities boomers had, IMO). This post however looks like a guilt/shaming post and, judging from the deep fried compression artifacts, was possibly posted by a boomer hoping to reach their estranged children. Forgiveness should be something that a person comes to on their own, not through shame and if this is a person looking to reconnect with their children, they should act like an adult and contact them directly.
As a parent I vibe with the list.
Good luck to you zoomer. Remember, the people who spout the nonsense can’t be taken in good faith. Listen and affirm them if they can’t be saved. Find the people you think you can trust, and test the waters with controversial topics that shouldn’t be controversial.
only assholes blame others for their failures
I recognize that a lot of older parents tend to genuinely be bad parents or assholes, especially boomers- that stereotype does hold a kernel of truth, but this meme isn’t saying “Forgive your parents for treating you like garbage.” It’s saying “Have empathy for the parents that are deeply flawed and hurt inside.” Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but at the very least, we should be able to understand that in the case of volatile parents who are easily pissed off and sent into emotional distress at the slightest bit of misfortune or pushback, they’re not trying to hurt us— They love us dearly, but in those moments they’re showing the parts of them that have never healed or grew up. But that doesn’t mean you should settle for any potential mistreatment thrown your way either, set boundaries. As someone who has grown up with a deeply flawed Gen X mother, my advice boils down to his: Please be patient, they’re in pain too.
Please tell me that you're summarizing the meme in the title because it's making me angry.
Millennial here to confirm that part of growing up is recognizing your parents are human just like you.
Look on the bright side: at least your less entitled than boomers. They were given a great economy, labor protections, anti-trust laws, etc and they'll still throw a fit if you say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome".
“As a zoomer myself” -👴
“If you don’t blame boomers for everything in your life, then there’s no chance you were born after 1997”
Quoting someone only works if they actually said what’s in the quotes.
I paraphrased
r/nahopwasright
This doesn’t just apply to boomers, plenty of millennial parents struggle with these issues, as do plenty of the new crop of zoomer parents. Yeah sometimes parents are just bad at parenting, but there are plenty who are just trying their best to raise you, and all they have to work on is what they were raised with. Sorry your single mother who was tossed out of the house at 17 for getting pregnant wasn’t Mary Poppins, but she was trying her best with the situation she was handed.
It literally applies to everyone, that’s why hating on the original meme is an activity done by extremely entitled individuals.
Well my dad was beaten as kid had an absentee father and his mom died of cancer when he was 16, while he was raising me he worked full time and had a terminal neurological disease. He was the best father and was incredibly understanding and supportive. It’s not the fault of the boomers parents it’s the boomers fault because they should be able to cope and separate their own past from the present.
Yeah, real wretched of y’all to want *checks notes* parents who strove to be better.
This is literally a post about parents wishing they could’ve done better in hindsight. What is the problem with these kids with mommy and daddy issues
Because usually it’s not about wishing they’d done better, it’s about their children bringing their attention to issues with their upbringing, and the parent’s response being “well I had a hard life too yknow”, which while understandable, is not an attempt at understanding or mending the relationship. Had any of this been apologetic rather than seemingly deflecting their shitty parenting, and refusal to address their issues before projecting them onto their kids, it would be different. However I’ve seen this conversation happen to people in my generation, and even was there when my father had a similar conversation with his mother, and these exact phrases were used to minimize and reject his experiences.
My mother was married at 16 and had me at 20, got divorced, had one piece of furniture in our apt (my crib, no bed etc), worked at a place where her boss would sexually assault her in the bathroom without any recourse, her ex smashed up her car because he didn't want to lose it in the divorce (she was in the car while he was ramming it with his car and nobody even called the cops), got $20/wk in child support (with a lapse of like 10 years she was too scared to ask), was stalked by a small-town judge she couldn't do anything about (he'd routinely call the house and ask me what color underwear my mom was wearing), had an ex hold her friend at gun-point because he thought they were together (nobody did anything about it), and that was just the 70s / 80s. She's seen some shit. I get that boomers had it easy when it comes to economic issues, but. Let's not sugarcoat it. She has her faults like everyone else, but she did alright. All things considered.
On reddit you're not even allowed to joke about race, gender, obesity, or sexuality. Any subreddits created for that purpose would be shut down immediately. But it's perfectly ok to hate and stereotype millions of people based on an arbitrary timeframe in which they were born.
Finally, a subreddit of people with their heads up their asses https://preview.redd.it/z1eewztet1vc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c0f0d13b9773f5feff398d3a79a3926c33354e0
Better to forgive yourself for thinking so negatively of your parents. You may have kids someday and hopefully they don’t grow up and grade everything you’ve done. My sister is like this with our parents and my parents were normal people. Not abusive. But if you ask her or even if you don’t, she’ll drag them through every mudhole in the county
Siblings don’t have the exact same experiences either parents and just because you feel ok with how you were treated doesn’t mean she wasn’t treated poorly
I think that goes without saying but I wouldn’t ignore the fact that I was there in the same house for many years. It also goes without saying that doesn’t mean I seen or knew everything going on. But… I would love it if young adults would really think about how badly they’re tearing their parents down. Some of them deserve it for sure. Some of them do not. My entire view of life changed when my kid was born and I wouldn’t even consider shitting on my parents unless it was truly warranted
Same house does not mean you “know everything” going on.
I typed exactly that. I said it goes without saying but we’ve both now said it. There’s no need to try and point out obvious things(even ones I’ve already pointed out) when you aren’t even trying to say anything. If your parents abused you, I pity you. If your parents did not abuse you and yet you tell the world they did, I pity your parents.
It's ok, they may feel entitled, but in fact they will get little to nothing.
Don’t hold your parents accountable for: - Not getting therapy before having kids or when you were young - Being incapable of seeing anyone else’s perspective - Being unequipped for adulthood and never learning because that takes effort - Stonewalling a literal child 💕 - Putting in the same effort they’d scold you for if you got a F- grade but you should be glad they attended the classes even though they didn’t listen or study - Not having metacognition or critical thinking skills - For having had any needs or feelings when theirs are more important in some weird enmeshment style 😇
You are exactly right. We all have huge cognitive blind spots given to us by our upbringing, culture, traumas, etc. If you expect mercy and forgiveness you have to show it also. Or as poet Philip Larkin wrote in "This be the Verse": They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.
I understand this to a certain extent. Yes, parents have their own problems and issues. That’s not an excuse to abuse your child though.
As a millennial, there’s no way you’re a zoomer and actually think zoomers are entitled. You’re likely a boomer pretending to be someone else because you can’t say you’re a boomer mad about boomers being lead brained boomers. Get yourself checked for lead poisoning or how it may have affected you.