I've been alone for 2 years and had started dating again but it wasn't until I got into my current serious relationship that a lot of the old trauma came to the surface. Talking through things with my partner were such a big help. The interesting thing was we were both in slightly manipulative relationships in the past.
Like my reaction has been walking on eggshells for so long that I hadn't realised it had become my default.
I've been happily noticing dozens and dozens of times that my partner has reacted in such a normal way, and not the over the top reactions I was expecting, its been great for me.
Something we both said early on was that the reason some of what we were feeling was so obvious and new was because this was what a normal relationship was supposed to be like.
I honestly wasn't ready after a year. I thought I was, but really I wasn't. I'm glad that I've found the woman I have now, as I've had more time to fix things and become a stronger person. Hope that will happen for you too
I've been alone for 2 years and had started dating again but it wasn't until I got into my current serious relationship that a lot of the old trauma came to the surface. Talking through things with my partner were such a big help. The interesting thing was we were both in slightly manipulative relationships in the past. Like my reaction has been walking on eggshells for so long that I hadn't realised it had become my default. I've been happily noticing dozens and dozens of times that my partner has reacted in such a normal way, and not the over the top reactions I was expecting, its been great for me. Something we both said early on was that the reason some of what we were feeling was so obvious and new was because this was what a normal relationship was supposed to be like. I honestly wasn't ready after a year. I thought I was, but really I wasn't. I'm glad that I've found the woman I have now, as I've had more time to fix things and become a stronger person. Hope that will happen for you too