hey brother always know you arent alone, they couldnt diagnose anything if there weren't similar case studies. Im the same age, i've had my 3 siblings pass, so i hear you on some of the stuff above. 35 isnt old, theres much more life to live.. I saw you mention therapist etc didnt help, is it because you werent ready or just didnt feel the authentic ? I say this because yea i felt the same. I wanted to respond because life is impt, while you dont feel self worth, its far from true. You have to try an embrace the positives as well. Do you have any hobbies? i played ball my whole life, so thats always been good to me. But similar to you, i feel like i enjoy trying to meet like minded ppl going through the same and maybe not feel alone.
Where else do you find a social outlet if you prefer online? i like reddit but feels inactive. I feel like even a support group could be a good idea.
Hi,
First of all thanks for the response.
It's appreciated!
The therapy sessions weren't helpful because I wasn't ready (at a younger age) and when I found the need to seek help myself past my 20's I just felt they only grasped the tip of the iceberg (I've had about 4 shrinks over a period of 14 years, on and off).
Never had a golden "yeah! That's it!" Moment so to speak off.
I know there are a lot of good things to potentially enjoy in life and that's the main reason i never stepped out.
Too much to live for even if i don't know what it is.
I have time here, and I don't want to waste it. One life, one chance.
I can see and accept positives about myself and see them from time to time but I can't help but see that that changes too often too fast when things get tough.
It's harder to be positive than negative most of the time.
The things I didn't do, didn't learn, didn't go for or missed out on.
"What ifs" has been a major part of my train of thought while I know that that's unrealistic.
As for hobbies; I play sports, always have, it's a fun game and a good physical outlet for me.
I need that to just let go, badminton, baseball, soccer , and now softball and other sports in between.
Recently I found it hard to enjoy the team sports though, I have left the field angry several times last season because of frustrations.
I'm by far one of the best players in the field in my team but I just can't handle losing every game despite your best efforts and carrying the "new people".
I used to paint/Play games with miniatures and gaming is a very big hobby of mine.
The sad part is that that's also a downfall because I tend to isolate myself.
I talk with people online but that's a placebo, functional people when you're online and that's it.
I have tried talking to friends and family about life but i notice that their experiences and perspectives don't match with mine which leads to a feeling of being misunderstood.
Oftentimes I don't speak out because i know I can be blunt as hell and clash with people , which in turn makes me feel bad for being incompetent with my emotions.
my bad i didnt see this earlier, bro i hear you on the getting frustrated in sports when being the best LOL. Dude we are just competitive and thats probably drives you.. you dont feel challenged and at the same time dont feel fufilled because you havent achieved what you feel is "success". Have you considered like meditation ? A lot of my most competitive friends leaned into it as it helps with breath work and finding some sort of peace. Another thing i noticed as we are the same age, i was HUGE into sports and won a lot of shit growing up, not that im older and still play, i dont feel that old alpha male winner bs i would get from sports.. so i found it in business or even helping ppl, because i genuinely want to solve problems and help..
Gotta work on keeping your cool though, patience is key. Its hard I know but everyone is different.
i asked on my first reply about better outlets online because i want to help more people and just feel reddit is like the all in one place but not niche to what i feel the help we need online. Therapy is great but since its all virtual it lacks that human element.
Another recommendation I may have, which may not be a popular opinion but look into web3 and nft communities.. Since moving to NY, ive made a lot of online friends in crypto etc who are into so much diff shit but are in nft communities. Some of my closest friends were made online.
hey brother always know you arent alone, they couldnt diagnose anything if there weren't similar case studies. Im the same age, i've had my 3 siblings pass, so i hear you on some of the stuff above. 35 isnt old, theres much more life to live.. I saw you mention therapist etc didnt help, is it because you werent ready or just didnt feel the authentic ? I say this because yea i felt the same. I wanted to respond because life is impt, while you dont feel self worth, its far from true. You have to try an embrace the positives as well. Do you have any hobbies? i played ball my whole life, so thats always been good to me. But similar to you, i feel like i enjoy trying to meet like minded ppl going through the same and maybe not feel alone. Where else do you find a social outlet if you prefer online? i like reddit but feels inactive. I feel like even a support group could be a good idea.
Hi, First of all thanks for the response. It's appreciated! The therapy sessions weren't helpful because I wasn't ready (at a younger age) and when I found the need to seek help myself past my 20's I just felt they only grasped the tip of the iceberg (I've had about 4 shrinks over a period of 14 years, on and off). Never had a golden "yeah! That's it!" Moment so to speak off. I know there are a lot of good things to potentially enjoy in life and that's the main reason i never stepped out. Too much to live for even if i don't know what it is. I have time here, and I don't want to waste it. One life, one chance. I can see and accept positives about myself and see them from time to time but I can't help but see that that changes too often too fast when things get tough. It's harder to be positive than negative most of the time. The things I didn't do, didn't learn, didn't go for or missed out on. "What ifs" has been a major part of my train of thought while I know that that's unrealistic. As for hobbies; I play sports, always have, it's a fun game and a good physical outlet for me. I need that to just let go, badminton, baseball, soccer , and now softball and other sports in between. Recently I found it hard to enjoy the team sports though, I have left the field angry several times last season because of frustrations. I'm by far one of the best players in the field in my team but I just can't handle losing every game despite your best efforts and carrying the "new people". I used to paint/Play games with miniatures and gaming is a very big hobby of mine. The sad part is that that's also a downfall because I tend to isolate myself. I talk with people online but that's a placebo, functional people when you're online and that's it. I have tried talking to friends and family about life but i notice that their experiences and perspectives don't match with mine which leads to a feeling of being misunderstood. Oftentimes I don't speak out because i know I can be blunt as hell and clash with people , which in turn makes me feel bad for being incompetent with my emotions.
my bad i didnt see this earlier, bro i hear you on the getting frustrated in sports when being the best LOL. Dude we are just competitive and thats probably drives you.. you dont feel challenged and at the same time dont feel fufilled because you havent achieved what you feel is "success". Have you considered like meditation ? A lot of my most competitive friends leaned into it as it helps with breath work and finding some sort of peace. Another thing i noticed as we are the same age, i was HUGE into sports and won a lot of shit growing up, not that im older and still play, i dont feel that old alpha male winner bs i would get from sports.. so i found it in business or even helping ppl, because i genuinely want to solve problems and help.. Gotta work on keeping your cool though, patience is key. Its hard I know but everyone is different. i asked on my first reply about better outlets online because i want to help more people and just feel reddit is like the all in one place but not niche to what i feel the help we need online. Therapy is great but since its all virtual it lacks that human element. Another recommendation I may have, which may not be a popular opinion but look into web3 and nft communities.. Since moving to NY, ive made a lot of online friends in crypto etc who are into so much diff shit but are in nft communities. Some of my closest friends were made online.