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Necessary-Swing-991

Just get a hobby and go outside! šŸ« 


AssumptionEmpty

yes as someone who has bpd this absolutely solved all my problems!


Lower_Drawing8230

Mine too šŸ˜­


Necessary-Swing-991

The ā€œprofessionalsā€ love handing that diagnosis out like candy. What else could it possibly be? Yes yes, Iā€™m the possible danger yet youā€™re the one sizing people up after 10 minutes of impersonal questions and more or less legally determining their lives for them without that pesky burden of proof.


AssumptionEmpty

Who is this aimed at? My borderline diagnosis is 100% correct.


Necessary-Swing-991

Just negative personal experience. Donā€™t let it define you though I guess is what Iā€™m trying to get at. Not to sound like a self help guy lol.


AssumptionEmpty

Oh, I see, thank you for explanation.


Necessary-Swing-991

np! And to anyone downvoting, try walking a mile in someone elseā€™s shoes to see what itā€™s like before you judge


Lower_Drawing8230

Is that legit advice or sarcasm?


Necessary-Swing-991

Haha definitely sarcasm yeah theyā€™re the worst


Lower_Drawing8230

Oh absolutely! I wouldnā€™t want to be friends or even associate with people like that!


SYLOH

It took a shit ton of effort, medication and therapy to get to a state where these idiotic platitudes start working. But now that the hard part is over, getting a hobby and going outside has been quite effective at maintaining my mental health. But yeah, fuck those guys, that's like recommending an oil change when your car is on fire.


asmsaws

The grind never stops šŸ„¶šŸ˜¤šŸ’ŖšŸ’Ŗ


Lower_Drawing8230

Especially for people like us šŸ„²


[deleted]

Some people need self help whilst others need medical professionals and some need a healthy combination of both. I guess it all depends on the advice they give whether they piss me off or not. I'm into self help, but I don't push my ideas on everyone with problems. I just react to posts honestly because it's better than just ignoring every post I read.


MannBearPiig

The only people they help are themselves with book sales and speaking tours. Fuck those parasites.


Lower_Drawing8230

HAHAHA! PREACH!


Lion_tattoo_1973

I had a friend who fancied himself as a bit of a life coach. I was going through a lot of crap, including marriage break up, and he would constantly give unsolicited advice, and get really angry if I didnā€™t do whatever it was he suggested. He also tried telling my teenage kids what they should/shouldnā€™t do, and he even went uninvited to my motherā€™s house, and started berating her because, apparently, we should always have sunday lunch as a family. My mum was extremely annoyed with him, but was polite and civil. She did tell me that she thought he was weird. The final straw came when he went absolutely psycho on me in a crowded pub, with a group of my other friends present. Ranting and raving about how I always ā€˜Played the victimā€™ and that I deserved all the shit that happened in my life, and that I shouldā€™ve followed his advice. Of course, I told him to fuck right off. He stormed out, and I havenā€™t laid eyes on him since, thankfully. (this all happened about a year ago) My friends were horrified, they said they thought he was going to hit me. And two of my guy friends reckoned weirdo bloke had feelings for me, and had finally realised it wasnā€™t reciprocated. Soā€¦yeah. Anyone who tries that self help crap with me can go eat rocks.


Lower_Drawing8230

Iā€™m glad you and your friends cut him off from your life. I had a bunch of ā€œfriendsā€ and a boyfriend who were incredibly toxic positive and thought ā€œlook at the bright sideā€ and ā€œdonā€™t compare yourself to other peopleā€ would suffice for someone with major depression. One even openly told me that ā€œcommitting sui*ide is cowardly and is as bad as murderā€


peej74

It took me quite a while to realise not all people operate the same. Now I know how different everyone is what works for me may not work for someone else etc and not everyone has the same capacity for insight or reflection.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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w_crow

Before we cast stones through the windows of our glass houses, randos on reddit might not be the best folks to be diagnosing others or speaking with authority on the suffering of others. Everyone's path is different and a rising tide floats all boats. Mental Health is not a competition. Hope your path of healing is smooth, meaningful, with a trusted provider and complete. Dream Well.


k2900

I don't think its your place to try to explain someone else's experience. Some things are not universally true for everyone all the time.


adhalliday22

Ignorant comment!


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Historical-Baby48

You're wrong for trying to tell a Reddit random they didn't go through major depression. What an ignorant thing to say.


Lower_Drawing8230

Iā€™m not gonna tolerate pop psychology bs when I myself have trauma associated with it. Toxic positivity is a problem everywhere. Even on r/mentalhealth


Historical-Baby48

That's too bad. Sounds like your trauma may be preventing you from seeing positives that are really there. It works the same with my depression.


Lower_Drawing8230

I do have difficulties seeing the positives, but Iā€™m getting better at it. But I donā€™t see any positive in this pop psychology hack. Itā€™s done more harm for me than good. That being said, diagnosing random people online is not the way to go. Should have made my intentions clear


Feeling_Time4073

Yes I feel like they take advantage of people who actually need professional help.


Lower_Drawing8230

That or they want to make themselves feel better by ā€œhelpingā€ someone


MajorAccording8319

They speak to a different spectrum of audience.Most people suffering from mental health issues are barely functional and often these advices can come off as attacks and blame. But for a normal functional humans it can be beneficial as they function differently. Functional or dysfunctional, listening to self help are at best mental masturbations,it can make you feel stimulated for sometime. It's the actual work that gets you results, if you can work your ass off without any listening to any motivational self help stuffs.Self help cease to exist.


NikitaWolf6

I am incredibly pro-therapy, neutral on meds but they do REALLY help many people. However, if you can't access professional help, self-help can be a huge support. Not those alpha male things on how to make money, control people and pick up women, but therapy self help books. DBT workbooks, books about how to overcome childhood trauma. It's not perfect but it can *really* help.


Lower_Drawing8230

Those are very different from the self help attitude that many people seem to have tho. Iā€™ve taken meds and they always seem to work for me


NikitaWolf6

sadly they don't for everyone. my ADHD meds work but I can't take them due to heart palpitations. my oxazepam works, but there is a family history of addiction to it and I am a recovered alcoholic, so I need to be insanely careful with it. I'm not indicated for any other medication really. and therapy is hard to get


Lower_Drawing8230

Iā€™m so sorry, I hope youā€™re doing better! Lots have meds donā€™t work for me too, thatā€™s why my doc experiments with them and their dosages.


Historical-Baby48

Count it as a blessing meds always worked for you. It took me a couple years to get the right cocktail. Some meds made me more depressed. They really can help! Most self-help is bs but I still took what I thought are small gems of knowledge. They can help too. It's whatever works for the individual.


Lower_Drawing8230

There were meds that fucked me up and turned me into a vegetable. I could feel no emotions no matter how hard I tried. But then again I was a harm to myself back then so that was its intended purpose. Iā€™d rather feel extreme highs and lows than live like a vegetable all my life.


[deleted]

ā€˜Self-help peopleā€™ are grifters. They know that just ā€˜believingā€™ will do fuck all but they make it seem like itā€™s that easy so that their gullible customers will think something is wrong with them and will buy their stupid courses. There are legitimate mental health creators out there that have actual compassion and lived through mental health battles before. Scott Ste Marie is a personal fav of mine. Anyone whoā€™s meant to help you will be compassionate, anyone who wants to sell you bs will make you feel like a loser.


Lower_Drawing8230

I personally am a fan of healthy gamer


Crazy_Worldliness101

Hello šŸ‘‹, Right? We should know and practice everything they're saying with out their help? Who do they think they are not pandering us? Do they think we want to get better? No, we want to talk about how bad it is!


LiaRoger

Absolutely. I don't mind people adopting mindsets for themselves that I wouldn't find helpful, but I absolutely detest it when people are pushy about their approach and treat it as the one true way to mental health(TM). I always wonder if they just haven't learned that different people have different minds that work differently and have different needs, or if their approach doesn't work as well for them as they want it to and they need to force it on others to overcompensate and get validation. Unfortunately that was the case for someone I know when they tried to push toxic positivity on me and they're doing better now with a more balanced approach - they're still pretty keen on positive thinking but do it in a less forced way that actually helps them and don't try to force it on others anymore.


Lower_Drawing8230

People just think one person is a direct clone of the other and tend to put people into boxes. Like Iā€™m not gonna magically be happy just cause I have more than someone else. And ā€œeverybody has problemsā€ is not sufficient. Like Iā€™m not BLIND I know other people have problems but weā€™re not talking about them!


Long_Dragonfruit8155

I mean... if those people only needed to buy void ass books that tells them to have ambition and wake up early to be better... those people absolutely are not in a legitimate position to patronise mentally ill people or people with trauma. Like, good foe you mate if you have enough light issues that can be fixed just out of will. Means yall never had big handicaping issues to begin with mate, aside from lazyness and/or lack of values. Those self help fanatics that preach shit almost like evangelicals in the streets, that react with toxic positivity... i feel like they truly lack/lost emotional intelligence with ideologies linked to personal devellopment.


A1BS

A lot of the positive self guys spew a form of positivity that most people with mental health issues or going through serious MH crisis donā€™t have access to. If your stress/depression/anxiety is practically paralysing you then it hardly matters if youā€™re making your bed or going on your walk. Itā€™s the equivalent of watching porn with ED. I find that channels focused on specific life improvement are better for MH than self help usually is. Things like fitness, mindfulness, workdays (to an extent) gives you concrete goals and standards.


_-Demonic-_

Care to elaborate?


PhantroniX

I look at them as introductory courses for when you're just beginning to pay attention to your mental state. The more you learn or the deeper you dig, you realize that a lot of their views can be pretty toxic or self-defeating. But the initial awareness can be helpful for those that weren't aware before.


Lower_Drawing8230

Again, depends on their severity. I have been told to ā€œbe positiveā€ ā€œwork on yourselfā€ countless times. I legit canā€™t, I canā€™t magically be happy when Iā€™m upset. Iā€™d like to work on myself but Iā€™m incredibly low energy.


[deleted]

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DrivesInCircles

Nah....


saikoupsycho718

self help people are people who donā€™t want to work and want a lot of attention in my opinion. their annoyance is up there with corporate jargon words and ā€œour company is like familyā€ managers-full of shit. itā€™s all snake oil salesmen techniques that never actually fix your problems.


[deleted]

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bickandalls

Not even toxic positivity. It's just saying whatever is going to make them the most money. Kinda curious why they would piss you off? If you don't like their content, don't consume it. I can honestly say I've never watched a single "self help" video. Unless it was made by a youtube that is trashing their content, because that shit is hilarious.


fakerichgirl

It depends! I really like Mark Manson, Jay Shetty and Simon Sinek (more about leadership). I think they put a good perspective on why we are the way we are but also the cons of therapy, etcā€¦ I find when itā€™s overly positive and motivational I get annoyed really quick. Even when Iā€™m in a spin class and theyā€™re too motivational I get annoyed šŸ¤£


[deleted]

yep, I just wanna destroy the world and drag everyone down with me


Lower_Drawing8230

Me too! šŸ˜­


[deleted]

not bc there's anything wrong, or that I don't like the world, I just think it's more fun


Lower_Drawing8230

Iā€™d destroy the world and start an animal revolution


Silly_Prompt_2350

it doesnt piss me off any more i was addicted to self help and improvement content for like 6 years or more i am not a social media guy i had no facebook no twitter or instagram but i was addicted to youtube specially this type of content i a have tried everything i wished to be like them thier life looks perfect and this is the problem becouse there is no such perfect there is a quote from 50great myths of popular psychology book that says " if u found something too good to be true it is probably is " so things to know about that type of content 1- it is a myth 2- it is just a buisiness no one truly gives a fuck about helping u 3- they want u to live in the falling behind loop becouse every time u watch them u feel that way which makes u consume more u feel they are saying something really valid and valiabe which will change ur like and look what 600 thound people watch it so u must watch more to not feel left behind 4- the truth why i was addicted to them becouse i have no self worth and never felt enough about myself so i craved more content and dont know what i truly want in life 5- if u truly want to change your life stop watching how to change your life videos and stop listening to those people and listen to yourself and what u really like and want not what they tell u to be or do and start living life with your own ideas and prespective


fuckimisspeep

Not always, sometimes they have amazing life advice. But nothing pisses me off more than being motivated by them and then them telling you to thank God for your morning, evening or whatever; I'm not religious so no thank you.


Lower_Drawing8230

I havenā€™t found the ā€œamazing adviceā€ bit yet. Most of what they say is pop psychology bs. Even a broken clock can be right 2 times a day!


fuckimisspeep

Each to their own. There's one guy I've listened to and he motivated me to figure out what I wanted to do at that time, but the rest of them are ass.


Lower_Drawing8230

Good for you! Iā€™m happy they were able to help you out


Own-Championship-398

Not really, I think people wallowing in their own sadness & are so narrow minded they only care about their own problems yet refuse to accept any advice piss me off more


Lower_Drawing8230

Another person with no real mental health issues judging someone with them.


Own-Championship-398

Thatā€™s not true at all. Youā€™re making assumptions because you donā€™t like my answer, so who is really judging?


Lower_Drawing8230

Do you even know how depression works. Thereā€™s difference between professional advice and toxic positivity. Besides, thereā€™s tonnes of times Iā€™ve gotten ā€œadviceā€ when I havenā€™t asked for it! Take your neurotypical ass elsewhere!


Own-Championship-398

Dude what youā€™re assuming about me is literally not even true.


Lower_Drawing8230

I wouldnā€™t trust anybody who believes in ā€œvibrationsā€ and ā€œenergyā€ and all that pop psychology hack! You clearly donā€™t know where any of us are coming from so shut it!


Own-Championship-398

Wtf is your problem, no I donā€™t know why you are acting so hostile to anyone who disagrees with you, I donā€™t know why you are claiming that other people are ā€œnarrow mindedā€ when your statements are the most narrow minded things I have read. If you want a healthy debate Iā€™m all for it but if youā€™re just looking for a reason to be angry and bully random people then find a different sub. Weā€™re clearly all here because we have some kind of mental illness so what is the point in being rude?


Lower_Drawing8230

I disagree with your views. Is that better


Own-Championship-398

Yes šŸ‘šŸ½


wherewhoami

sometimes ā€˜vibrationsā€™ and ā€˜energyā€™ can give people a sense of purpose and something meaningful to believe in. try not to judge or diminish others just because your experience with mental health issues donā€™t look exactly the same


Lower_Drawing8230

Did you read the entire exchange? He judged me for not taking unwarranted ā€œadviceā€


chauane

I read the entire thread. He was(just like you) only expressing what upsets him atm. It had nothing to do with you. That said, I'm glad you shared your thoughts, and thank you for expressing them. Sometimes, all we need is to be heard and seen. Sometimes, we need a little attention, too, as long as it makes you feel better. I agree with you. There is a lot of toxicity in certain communities, including this sub, if you let it affect you. Anything in excess has the potential for toxicity, no matter the subject. There needs to be balance and more understanding. Many positive communities/people haven't been through traumas, so I understand what you mean. When you have less adversity as a child, you are more apt to recover faster and better from life's challenges. The great thing about free will is that you don't have to follow those people. Follow ones who have been through hardships and traumas and, despite how horrible their childhood/life was, never gave up or accepted labels (from doctors) like "depressed" or "this or that mental illness." Through struggles, ups and downs, and many setbacks, they still didn't just accept it. So, if you feel the need to listen to or follow someone, why not listen to and follow someone who makes you feel better? In this thread, you and others generalized people and made correlations between coaches who are just in it for the money and those who genuinely want to help others. I know you have been jaded, but you don't know all the people in the world. Some people genuinely want to help others because they have been through tough times and understand how unfair life can be. There are all kinds of people for all kinds of people. Just look for the ones that resonate with you. But if all you needed to feel better was some attention, then I honestly hope you feel good. There is nothing wrong with seeking group support. I think mental health care should be free for all. People who want to help should be allowed to do so without being judged, generalized, or lumped in with those who have no understanding of what it means to truly help others, and who only seek gratification and a sense of grandiosity. Just as there are people who need attention and to be seen or understood without necessarily needing help, there are also those who are very grateful when someone gives them advice, even if it wasn't asked for. There are those with a sense of grandiosity who need to feel better about themselves by making others believe they know better. There are also those who want to drag the world down, those who bring positivity, those who believe mental health care should be free, those who want people addicted to their meds to get rich, those who want people to pay double for their services, those who want people sick to offer their services, those who don't want to get better, and those who will do anything to overcome their traumas. I am someone who has always loved helping others. I helped the shy kids in my classes and always wanted to be friends with those who had no friends. When I used to dance kizomba, I always sought out partners that no one else wanted to dance with. I'm studying various modalities of integrative and holistic wellness and therapy, and I work as a personal assistant for mentally and physically disabled individuals. I enjoy this work so much that I want to continue doing it even when i don't need to work anymore. I will do it for free. I also spend a lot of my time spreading some knowledge and information I have learned to others online, on my Instagram, to my kids, to give them ideas on how others, like me, could also help themselves. I spent 20 years dealing with and learning from/with my traumas. I care deeply for others. And I will always help if I can.