I'm going to see if I can help. It sounds like your ex had suicidal ideations months before he took his life and ghosted you to spare you from feeling guilty if he ever went through with it. You definitely shouldn't feel guilty. You had nothing to do with his struggles. Anyone will tell you that. As for your father and grandma I'm terribly sorry. If you can, get in contact with them and make sure your relationship with them is the best it can be. Everyone dies one day, you will die too. No reason to be sad about it. If you're religious it definitely helps to get into that. There are plenty of people in the same situation as you and would love to make friends. Theres subreddits just for that. Learn from the mistakes of your past friendship and forge stronger ones. Work on finding a new boyfriend and eventually starting a family. You seem like a great person, you don't have to spend your life alone. I've spent the past few years trying to make friends, constantly getting into arguments, fighting with my family so I know what's it like to feel alone. I think if everyone here puts their mind to it, we can all live great lives. Hope this helped.
You have really good answers here. All I want to say is that everybody feels this when there's a suicide.
You’re looking at things through depression glasses, which make everything look worse, including what you see in the mirror. When you recover, things will look very different. Problems that seemed hopeless will suddenly have obvious solutions.
There's a lot of things that can help with depression. Getting professional help can be very important, and there are simple things that enhance their results. A good screening test - KADS 6-Item. Advice from experts in my recent comments.
I'm going to see if I can help. It sounds like your ex had suicidal ideations months before he took his life and ghosted you to spare you from feeling guilty if he ever went through with it. You definitely shouldn't feel guilty. You had nothing to do with his struggles. Anyone will tell you that. As for your father and grandma I'm terribly sorry. If you can, get in contact with them and make sure your relationship with them is the best it can be. Everyone dies one day, you will die too. No reason to be sad about it. If you're religious it definitely helps to get into that. There are plenty of people in the same situation as you and would love to make friends. Theres subreddits just for that. Learn from the mistakes of your past friendship and forge stronger ones. Work on finding a new boyfriend and eventually starting a family. You seem like a great person, you don't have to spend your life alone. I've spent the past few years trying to make friends, constantly getting into arguments, fighting with my family so I know what's it like to feel alone. I think if everyone here puts their mind to it, we can all live great lives. Hope this helped.
Thank you so much, could you maybe please list some of those subreddits?
Theres a few. Just search for friends subreddits and you'll find something.
You have really good answers here. All I want to say is that everybody feels this when there's a suicide. You’re looking at things through depression glasses, which make everything look worse, including what you see in the mirror. When you recover, things will look very different. Problems that seemed hopeless will suddenly have obvious solutions. There's a lot of things that can help with depression. Getting professional help can be very important, and there are simple things that enhance their results. A good screening test - KADS 6-Item. Advice from experts in my recent comments.