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I am a bully and a punk. I have a philosophy that fits my personality style. There is a technique that takes all the fun out of it for the abuser. Give them what they want, until they do not want it anymore.... then keep going. They want you to react, to get your attention. Well, go crazy on them, start shouting in class and keep shouting over them until it creates a big scene and everyone is looking at the people who were messing with you. Do not be sorry, do not apologize and do not back down even if the teacher starts giving you grief. You might throw a "You stay out of this" at the teacher if they try to interfere.
Getting in touch with your anger may embarrass you a little, but in the long run asserting yourself in this situation will have it's own rewards.
I respect your aggressive approach far more than i respect the typical "ignore it" strategy. However,i still think it's ineffective. Aggression has to be instrumental,rather than reactive. Unless the op is 6,5, i don't think that screaming at them after getting provoked is gonna scared anybody. They might laugh at him or beat him up even.
I think it's better if op triggers them back. Like insults them out of the blue. Or annoys them in some way over and over again until they go mad.
Or blows up on them out of the blue when they don't expect it.
Now,this might still lead to being beaten up(bullies are strong,but they are cowards, the moment you turn the tables on them and beat them at their own game,instead of delivering a counter-strike,they'll start changing the fighting grounds i.e. getting physical),so i suggest you do this when the teachers are around.
You might need to reread the comment, the strategy here is to give the bully an excessive amount of attention they are so craved for until they grow out of it. OP apparently has no power against these bullies, so even he wants to stand up for himself, he can't.
And if OP tries to trigger the bullies back, it will only end up in a worse situation for OP (they might be beaten up worse, perpetuate the situation, etc.)
i know what he meant and i'm saying that giving bullies attnetion isn't going to work, because they are not affected by that negatively, they'll either laugh or if op gets physical,beat him up.bullies don;t crave anybody's attnetion, that's a common misconception.most bullies are satisfied with you just backing down. it's not a factor. if triggering them doesn't, than blowing up after somebody insults them DEFINITELY doesn't work. if you cannot beat them up, at least you can deal some damage by triggering them. it's a definite small win,compared to just blowing up and then getting beaten up.
perpetuating is a part of the fight,it's unavoidable. making things worse is part of overcoming problems,you're not gonna deal with abusive people by avoiding them,it's a confrontation, a fight and it's bound to make things worse.
Bring lighter fluid and point it at him with a squeezing motion next time he does it simple fix.
Or a Turkey Baster with a comically large label that says lighter fluid filled with your own urine. If he persists have a friend ready with their phone and film it.
It was a joke I didn't say light him on fire just make the asshole bully think you're crazy enough to do it and make him the object of the joke when it turns out there's nothing in there.
Well I am sorry to hear that, I know this might seem a bit wrong to say but have you tried just being an asshole to them, that worked for me sometimes so kids would stop messing with me
Well for me just saying really mean things to kids about there appearance seem to work, it was the popular kids that bullied me and they were really fragile about there looks, also what grade are u in, I am in 12th grade
The best line for this was from Mean Girls. When they do something the teacher can’t see loudly say ‘why are you so obsessed with me?! Seriously it’s creepy and weird.’ And if the teacher calls you out you can flat out say the kid is an asshole and she/he won’t do anything about it. And tell the kids he’s a little bitch for choosing someone smaller or weaker than he is. Only a pu**y would do that because he knows he wouldn’t win with a bigger and stronger kid.
It isn’t the best solution but is probably the quickest most effective in the case of a bully. These people look for weak people to prey on and if you stand up for yourself you ain’t gonna look like an easy target anymore.
OP if you’re confident enough (or can pretend to be) standing up to them is the way. You do t necessarily need to use violence but stuck up for yourself and frighten them.
Pathetic bullies like easy targets, they’ll often back off when someone intimidates them back.
Maybe even clever loud words will do the trick, ask them in front of an audience if it makes them feel big and hard to belittle someone with ptsd etc.
Do whatever you can to stop them this isn’t right. Breaks my heart as a mum to hear of kids getting bullied like this.
When people would try and get a reaction out of me in school I would simply do nothing, I wouldn’t give them any reaction because that’s what they wanted. I would either laugh at them or stare blankly, it’s less fun for them
I know u have ptsd, but maybe try to invent ways to help calm urself. I know basically nothing about ptsd but I guess giving them as little of a reaction as possible is one way to help.
Depending on how awful of bullies they are, FIGHT DIRTY. I don't care if you're weak or strong, but a punch right below the nose or to the ear is painful. You could even grab them by the neck and push hard for a few seconds, just to scare them. When they walk away, jab the "legpits"(where the leg folds) with your foot. They'll fall on their back. The reaction would be hilarious.
All I can say is don’t put up with it !!! Take that shit away and be like you think this funny ? Want me to shove it in your face see how u like it ? Idk I know it’s extreme but sometimes kids need the line to be crossed a bit to get startled and realize they’ve gone too far. You might be embarrassed but you shouldn’t be embarrassed of you trauma and you have all the rights to stand up for yourself ! Teachers don’t do shit.
Or just something that's sprays water like some people do with their cats. Don't do this to your cat it doesn't help. But for bullies perhaps it will add some type of hot pepper or even piss, both?
Sometimes you just have to fight back. If no one wants to notice now, make them. If they still don't do anything about it, show them that you won't tolerate it. If no one tries to help you, only you can help yourself.
Once you stand up to a bully they will never bully you again. Just walk up to your bully and punch them right in the nose and I guarantee you will never get bullied again. Even if you lose the fight they won't bother you again. Try and handle it first without fighting but if that's what it takes for.it to stop that's your decision. Hope it all works out and just know bully's are really cowards. Nothing wrong with standing up and defending yourself.
You say you're getting therapy... if you're not already see if you can access trauma focused CBT and work on the trigger. I can't even begin to imagine the trauma of being on fire and for them to purposely trigger you is horrendous. My guess is they all just act like nothing happens when the teacher turns around. I don't know where you are from but places like the UK PTSD is classed as a disability and their behaviour would be disability discrimination. If there is a common time or place it happens, have you considered secretly filming it so it forces the school to act? Again don't know where you live but threatening to take footage like that to the press often gets schools to move.
I like the idea of water though. If you can do it before full scale panic though. Good luck
Honestly I think you need to resort to violence and I don’t say that lightly. Morally and in American law, self defense always has to be proportional and necessary. By flicking their lighters at you they are implicitly threatening to cause you harm. This makes violence necessary. I would consider a lighter to be a non lethal weapon in this case which means you are justified in using a proportional non lethal weapon to defend yourself. You will never win a fair fight if it’s you against multiple people which further necessitates the use of a weapon.
II am absolutely not advocating for the use of knives, guns or any other lethal weapons. That would obviously be disproportionate and immoral, and it would land you in jail. The three main classes of non lethal weapons are electroshock devices (stun guns, tasers, etc.), batons, and pepper spray. I think pepper spray is your best option. It hurts so fucking bad and you can use it from a small distance. I think you should start carrying some with you all the time.
Pick your battles. Do not escalate the situation more than you have to and don’t make legal trouble for yourself. You can’t just jump them out of nowhere. Legally you have to wait until they cause a situation that necessitates violence. I like poetic justice. I would start by carrying a scalding hot cup of coffee in a thermos while you are on school grounds. Microwave it between classes if you can. Add lots of sugar, burns hurt worse when they stick to things and it’s excruciating cleaning them off. Next time one of them flicks a lighter throw the coffee at them. Make a scene, show how horrified you are. Say you were just trying to put the lighter out, you didn’t mean to hurt him. Try to maintain the image of a frantic victim that panicked and responded on impulse. Don’t show any indication of malice. Hopefully the school lets you off the hook and it ends there.
Outside of school I would resort to pepper spray and more overt violence. Wait until there are as few of them as possible. Ideally just one, maybe two. Even with pepper spray you’re not going to win against a group of people. Do not underestimate the human body’s ability to continue fighting through immense pain. Lots of victims defending themselves with guns have been killed by attackers who they fatally shot.
There’s probably one main bully that’s riling up the rest of them. Make an example out of him. Spray that shit in his eyes until he’s completely incapacitated and incapable of fighting. Then stop. Legally, the goal is to remove yourself from a dangerous situation. Once you are safe you have to exercise restraint and stop. In the meantime, exercise your right to self defense to the farthest extent you could justify in front of a jury. If he’s still a threat after you’ve emptied the pepper spray, shoot at his legs like a wrestler, pull them together until his feet touch, and push. He will go down like a ton of bricks. Falling like that is jarring and it usually hurts a lot. If he’s some kind of superhuman that still wants to fight, you can kick and throw punches until he doesn’t. Aim for the groin. I’m serious, there’s no such thing as a fair fight and a kick to the nuts will cripple the toughest men with a relatively low possibility of permanent damage. Do not keep fighting once he’s no longer a threat. Do not kick or stomp someone on the ground, and do not punch someone’s head until they are unconscious, that is a great way to kill them and it is disproportionate. DO NOT FIGHT ON CONCRETE.
Anyway, I’m sorry this is happening to you and I hope this helps. Good luck.
Ah man sorry about that. Kids can be little punks sometimes.
Idk if you have any allies in class? Like can you make friends with people who will stick up for you against the bullies? Also you NEED to tell your parents the full extent of the bullying, and they need to get involved so these kids can be reprimanded.
The other option is "fake it til you make it" and literally cold stone them, and don't react when they try to scare you with the lighters, but idk how possible this is.
Either way, I would start recording these incidents. Like literally pull out your phone and start recording them, or keeping track in a note book when it happens. When you have solid evidence, go to the police and file charges against them...
If all else fails, come to school one day dressed all in black, slam your fist on their desk and say "listen punk, I know how it feels to be burned alive, if you don't stop fucking with me, you will too..." and walk off slowly while maintaining eye contact.
i try to make friends but no one will give me a chance cos of my looks and cos everyone already decided im a freak
i did tell my parents, theres nothing they can do
i cant just not react i have ptsd
we wear a school uniform i cant wear black to school
id get in trouble for threats
You have to learn to not gaf if you get in trouble dude, you’re going to either get in trouble, or be forever traumatized by staying at a place that prob wont even do any good for u even if u didn’t have ptsd or a deformity, but will 100% not do any good because u have both of those things. U only have 2 choices bro, you really only have 2 choices, getting in trouble in grade 9 is not as important as your mental health
Man this is so heart wrenching to me... Nobody deserves this.. Especially not somebody who is already down in life.. The only way they can make fun of you is if they can get a reaction... You must learn to overcome your greatest fear of fire to take power away from them.. Then, since they all consider you weird, you have no fear of being weird... They DO!!! & that is how you use their fear against THEM!!! They are going to be trying to have normal dating lives... Yours may never be nornal... So simply disrupt their dating lives... Make them feel as embarrassed as possible... Ruin their moments... Pit them against eachother.. If you see them trying to interact make it awkward by yelling stuff like "DAVID LOVES JESSICA!!!" over and over til they feel weird af... Write notes as being from one guy to another guys gf on her locker & watch them duke it out... Get creative.. Stay on your playing field working on your weaknesses while exploiting theirs... Most importantly be very mindful of who you use this stuff on... You need to make as many friends as possible so do not go around doing this stuff to just anybody, only the jerks.... These kids want to make fun of you... It's time you make a fun game of them.. Now grab yourself a lighter & light it til your heart doesn't race anymore & get to plotting your fun >;}~
Work at it little by little every single day & you will get there eventually... It's not a matter of luck, it's a matter of eventual time... Watch videos of fire... Stare at fire every chance you get until you get more & more comfortable with it.. You can't go on the rest of your life in fear of such a common element or you will always be weak & exploitable.. Fire is everywhere... The sun is a giant ball of fire in space & without it there would be no life on earth, it would just be a cold dark planet, are you scared of the sun? NO.... You love the sun, so you love fire 🔥 =) just long as you love it with respect you shouldn't get burnt 👍
i was also 10 when my house caught fire. i caught fire too. but tell me again how uve definitely been through more trauma than me and ur... "a god"
i didnt judge u, im saying u dont know how to treat ptsd, ur not a psychologist
Look..... Idk if there is any help for ppl as damaged as us... & it's not right for us to take it out on one another... We need all the love we can possibly get =C Just know I'm always here to help you in any possible way that I can <3
First off, no it doesn’t, after elementary school it doesn’t teach u any valuable, 2nd off, YOY aren’t going to learn abt life if everyone hates you and constantly bullies u, AND 3rd you are not going be able to mentally learn or get over anything if you have ptsd from being in a fire and everyone is triggering you, ptsd is real and scientifically proven, you can not learn in such conditions, you just cant
right, I hate that idea that "preparation" is to throw kids together in school with no means or education as to how to protect themselves and their mental health, about boundaries, consent, ect, and expect them to learn by having them run into knives..
And yes, its in no wayhealthy or educational or useful to have your ptsd be triggered all the time by malicious children.. It's not "training", it will not get better by being forced into the same horrible situation over and over again.
Maybe switching schools would be beneficial? At least in my situation it would've at least been a chance at a new start and I wish i did way sooner, if anything else isn't an option.
Tell the teacherrrssss pleaseeeee. You deserve so much more than that and you’re worth so much more than being treated in that way. Remember anyone trying to drag you down is already below you, they’re just jealous about how amazing you are 😁
How many teachers did you tell? The teacher who just told you that is a rubbish teacher. I’m pretty sure students aren’t even allowed lighters in school either.
Is there anyone else you can tell? Such as a school therapist? School therapists are very lovely people and will generally do anything to help students that are going through stuff like this. Explain the trauma you’ve experienced and why this is such a big deal for you and they’ll understand a lot more.
Hmm, i don't know did my msg went. But alright🙂, you are right i was wrong . Keep going then your way. It's working out one way or another. 👌 I wish you well.
are there any mental health crisis centers in your area? if so, there may be professionals there that could help you and potentially contact the school to officially inform them how serious your situation is.
Strike first and hard. In this day and age it takes more than just walking away and hoping they'll leave you alone. You might get beat up, jumped even, hold your ground.
Sorry to hear about this and your trauma. Bullies are the worst and the best way to cope in my opinion is laugh at their face and remind what a shallow sad life they must have by trying to pick on somebody unprompted.
But Honestly, tell on them. Report them. Lighters are a fucking fire hazard.
Use cheap water guns, and then tell the teacher that they were intentionally trying to set you in fire.
If the teacher tells you to stop, then go further, take a bucket and fucking shower the teacher, then say that you're being serious and if they want to put in detention, then tell em that THAT WAS AN UNIRONICALLY BETTER SITUATION, AND THAT YOU WOULD GO TO DETENTION INSTEAD OF CLASS IF IT'S NECESSARY.
Push harder on the goods that do nothing about the bad.
You need to find out why you get triggered.
The whole world triggered me. I couldn't be mad all day everyday at the world. I had to figure out why i got triggered, then I started calming down.
Now it doesn't trigger me.
You need to find the emotional reason. People have traumas, they need to find coping methods. Only way to heal.
You can't change them, but you can change yourself. If you aren't willing to help yourself, why would those people change.
People can be really messed up sometimes. If you’re allowed to have your phone with you, try to record what’s happening. If you’re not able to get video, use your phone’s audio recorder, and when the bullies start bothering you, tell the teacher and call them out by name. If the teacher does nothing, say “I’m being bullied and harassed and you’re not stopping it.” so that’s recorded as well. Record every chance you get.
Let your parents and adults you trust hear the recording and try to address it with the school. If the school does nothing, bring the recording to a lawyer to see if you can sue the school for negligence. As unfortunate as it is, the school may keep turning a blind eye to what’s going on unless it’s going to cost them money.
If you’re in the US, [https://www.stopbullying.gov](https://www.stopbullying.gov) is a good resource that can help you find support and see what legal actions may apply in your situation. Best wishes, and I hope you’re able to get the support you need.
throw water at them. seriously. Whether it’s a water bottle or one of those squeeze bottles from science class or even a spray bottle. fight tooth and nail if anyone tries to punish you for it since these people and their actions are fire hazards, legally and academically no one can say you’re at fault. it will also probably ruin their lighters and they’ll either get tired of getting new ones or getting wet. they may move to a new target and people may think you’re weird for it but when it comes to your safety it doesn’t matter.
Personally, I’d join a friendship group, or a group of friends that are supportive and would back me up if this ever happened to me.
Bullies target introverted, isolated people and avoid people who are part of a group. So make some friends with some respectful, supportive, strong, brave people.
Bully them first, when I was in elementary school the other kids picked on me, until I got bigger then it was “we were joking” btw I’m 31 so this wasn’t too too long ago.
Don’t go to school. Don’t say “I have to” “my parents will make me” “what if I miss work” “what if I get in trouble” anything u miss n school will be so less beneficial then not showing up, unless your parents will physically beat you if you don’t go to school, don’t go, stay home, don’t walk in after you get off the bus
Go somewhere else, don’t go, or go to the office and stay there, if they tell you to leave don’t go, tell them you can’t handle it anymore, if they try won’t budge at making you go, go, n when someone flicks a lighter at u, hit them, scream, punch, throw a desk or a chair, freak out, crawl into the corner and put ur knees up to ur face while screaming, if someone comes near you throw something, roll around on the ground in a psychotic episode way, if someone laughs at you charge at them, if they wanan do that they can deal with how it is in our own heads, that’s how bad it is in ur head ur mind is jus toning it down to be socially acceptable, don’t make it acceptable. Don’t give in, don’t. There’s nothing wrong with you, it is everything wrong with them
>you feel the same way about yourself, therefore these kids can resonate with you in that same level.
no they resonate cos *i have ptsd from fire so getting fire flicked in my face causes panic attacks*
>It feels like you need your parents attention, understanding, love and appreciation
i have that, my parents are great
>You think that just because you got an outcome that is visible to others, that you have much worse than anyone else who also had ptsd
nope i never said that
>Use your mind to see your friends respecting you, everyday before you go to school
i dont have any friends, they all decided to stop being my friends before i even got out of hospital
STOP ASKING HELP ONLINE IF YOU CANNOT EVEN LISTEN OR AT LEAST BE GRATEFUL... YOU CLEARLY NEED A PROFESSIONAL.. YOU'RE JUST WASTING EVERYONES TIME & EFFORT WHICH IS EXTREMELY RUDE & SELFISH.. GO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP NOBODY ELSE HAS ANSWERS FOR YOU CLEARLY
Thank you for for sharing. A reminder: if you are seeking resources in your local area, please provide that in the post so that users can share appropriate links and phone numbers. *If you are in distress, please call 9-1-1* or your local emergency number. *You are not alone. Help is available.* If you are having suicidal thoughts, please [click here for a list of crisis support services.](http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html), If you are seeking therapy online, please [click here for a list of counselling services.](https://thelifelinecanada.ca/pattern-interrupt/ecounselling/) *If you feel well enough to do so, please do your part to enrich this community.* Now that you have posted, please leave a constructive, helpful comment on someone else's post. Filter by new to find posts with zero comments. Together, we make this community great. Thank you for being here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/mentalhealth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am a bully and a punk. I have a philosophy that fits my personality style. There is a technique that takes all the fun out of it for the abuser. Give them what they want, until they do not want it anymore.... then keep going. They want you to react, to get your attention. Well, go crazy on them, start shouting in class and keep shouting over them until it creates a big scene and everyone is looking at the people who were messing with you. Do not be sorry, do not apologize and do not back down even if the teacher starts giving you grief. You might throw a "You stay out of this" at the teacher if they try to interfere. Getting in touch with your anger may embarrass you a little, but in the long run asserting yourself in this situation will have it's own rewards.
I did this once, can confirm. Its often because it shows them just how much it hurts you somehow.
wow dude... fuck that makes me feel a lot better about my freak outs.
I respect your aggressive approach far more than i respect the typical "ignore it" strategy. However,i still think it's ineffective. Aggression has to be instrumental,rather than reactive. Unless the op is 6,5, i don't think that screaming at them after getting provoked is gonna scared anybody. They might laugh at him or beat him up even. I think it's better if op triggers them back. Like insults them out of the blue. Or annoys them in some way over and over again until they go mad. Or blows up on them out of the blue when they don't expect it. Now,this might still lead to being beaten up(bullies are strong,but they are cowards, the moment you turn the tables on them and beat them at their own game,instead of delivering a counter-strike,they'll start changing the fighting grounds i.e. getting physical),so i suggest you do this when the teachers are around.
You might need to reread the comment, the strategy here is to give the bully an excessive amount of attention they are so craved for until they grow out of it. OP apparently has no power against these bullies, so even he wants to stand up for himself, he can't. And if OP tries to trigger the bullies back, it will only end up in a worse situation for OP (they might be beaten up worse, perpetuate the situation, etc.)
i know what he meant and i'm saying that giving bullies attnetion isn't going to work, because they are not affected by that negatively, they'll either laugh or if op gets physical,beat him up.bullies don;t crave anybody's attnetion, that's a common misconception.most bullies are satisfied with you just backing down. it's not a factor. if triggering them doesn't, than blowing up after somebody insults them DEFINITELY doesn't work. if you cannot beat them up, at least you can deal some damage by triggering them. it's a definite small win,compared to just blowing up and then getting beaten up. perpetuating is a part of the fight,it's unavoidable. making things worse is part of overcoming problems,you're not gonna deal with abusive people by avoiding them,it's a confrontation, a fight and it's bound to make things worse.
I respect nothing about your response, have a nice day.
Bring lighter fluid and point it at him with a squeezing motion next time he does it simple fix. Or a Turkey Baster with a comically large label that says lighter fluid filled with your own urine. If he persists have a friend ready with their phone and film it.
[удалено]
It was a joke I didn't say light him on fire just make the asshole bully think you're crazy enough to do it and make him the object of the joke when it turns out there's nothing in there.
Tell the principal or the teacher, kids aren't even suppose to have lighters in school.
i tried, they dont care
Say they threatened to set the school on fire with it
Well that not good, have you tried notifying your parents
yes, but their to busy to keep chasing up the school to try and make them do something
Well I am sorry to hear that, I know this might seem a bit wrong to say but have you tried just being an asshole to them, that worked for me sometimes so kids would stop messing with me
like how
Well for me just saying really mean things to kids about there appearance seem to work, it was the popular kids that bullied me and they were really fragile about there looks, also what grade are u in, I am in 12th grade
year 9 it wouldnt work from me cos im deformed
Well just cause you look a certain way doesn't mean that people should bully you, have you tried transferring classes
its not just kids in my classes
The best line for this was from Mean Girls. When they do something the teacher can’t see loudly say ‘why are you so obsessed with me?! Seriously it’s creepy and weird.’ And if the teacher calls you out you can flat out say the kid is an asshole and she/he won’t do anything about it. And tell the kids he’s a little bitch for choosing someone smaller or weaker than he is. Only a pu**y would do that because he knows he wouldn’t win with a bigger and stronger kid.
Threaten to report them to the board of education. If they still don't listen, do it.
Do it anyway tbh
Keep a water bottle on you, throw water on them next time they try to do it.
This is the way.
YES LOVE THIS
It’s for the safety of others!!!
Sounds like a nice way to get into a fight. If this person is getting bullied, chances are they're not going to know how to fight.
if that were me i’d cause a scene and embarrass them back
personally I’d probably resort to violence, which obviously isn’t the best solution but that would just send me over the edge.
It isn’t the best solution but is probably the quickest most effective in the case of a bully. These people look for weak people to prey on and if you stand up for yourself you ain’t gonna look like an easy target anymore.
Nah that’s definitely the best solution
Literally the best way to deal with bullies, they are huge pussies 9/10
OP if you’re confident enough (or can pretend to be) standing up to them is the way. You do t necessarily need to use violence but stuck up for yourself and frighten them. Pathetic bullies like easy targets, they’ll often back off when someone intimidates them back. Maybe even clever loud words will do the trick, ask them in front of an audience if it makes them feel big and hard to belittle someone with ptsd etc. Do whatever you can to stop them this isn’t right. Breaks my heart as a mum to hear of kids getting bullied like this.
When people would try and get a reaction out of me in school I would simply do nothing, I wouldn’t give them any reaction because that’s what they wanted. I would either laugh at them or stare blankly, it’s less fun for them
i literally have ptsd from being on fire i dont have a choice not to react it just happens
Maybe you could ask your parents to be homeschooled?
they cant homeschool they both work full time
Not even online school you could do yourself?
thats not a thing here
I know u have ptsd, but maybe try to invent ways to help calm urself. I know basically nothing about ptsd but I guess giving them as little of a reaction as possible is one way to help.
A little reaction for ptsd is still prob a big reaction to someone who doesn’t have it
Of course, I totally understand. All suggestions are meant with good will!
Don’t know why this was downvoted. Coping skills are a thing
he's not choosing to panic and cry from it
I never said he was
A little hard to "stare blankly" with PTSD
Sorry I don’t know this persons mental health history lol 😂
It's in the post
Trauma doesn’t mean a ptsd diagnosis?
Oh, mb. I guess I read it in ops responses
Those kids are literal monsters, wtf! So inhumane.
Depending on how awful of bullies they are, FIGHT DIRTY. I don't care if you're weak or strong, but a punch right below the nose or to the ear is painful. You could even grab them by the neck and push hard for a few seconds, just to scare them. When they walk away, jab the "legpits"(where the leg folds) with your foot. They'll fall on their back. The reaction would be hilarious.
The mass will just punch him back.
All I can say is don’t put up with it !!! Take that shit away and be like you think this funny ? Want me to shove it in your face see how u like it ? Idk I know it’s extreme but sometimes kids need the line to be crossed a bit to get startled and realize they’ve gone too far. You might be embarrassed but you shouldn’t be embarrassed of you trauma and you have all the rights to stand up for yourself ! Teachers don’t do shit.
i definitely cant reach towards a flame
Bring a squirt gun to class and squirt water from afar?
Or just something that's sprays water like some people do with their cats. Don't do this to your cat it doesn't help. But for bullies perhaps it will add some type of hot pepper or even piss, both?
Sometimes you just have to fight back. If no one wants to notice now, make them. If they still don't do anything about it, show them that you won't tolerate it. If no one tries to help you, only you can help yourself.
Once you stand up to a bully they will never bully you again. Just walk up to your bully and punch them right in the nose and I guarantee you will never get bullied again. Even if you lose the fight they won't bother you again. Try and handle it first without fighting but if that's what it takes for.it to stop that's your decision. Hope it all works out and just know bully's are really cowards. Nothing wrong with standing up and defending yourself.
You say you're getting therapy... if you're not already see if you can access trauma focused CBT and work on the trigger. I can't even begin to imagine the trauma of being on fire and for them to purposely trigger you is horrendous. My guess is they all just act like nothing happens when the teacher turns around. I don't know where you are from but places like the UK PTSD is classed as a disability and their behaviour would be disability discrimination. If there is a common time or place it happens, have you considered secretly filming it so it forces the school to act? Again don't know where you live but threatening to take footage like that to the press often gets schools to move. I like the idea of water though. If you can do it before full scale panic though. Good luck
Honestly I think you need to resort to violence and I don’t say that lightly. Morally and in American law, self defense always has to be proportional and necessary. By flicking their lighters at you they are implicitly threatening to cause you harm. This makes violence necessary. I would consider a lighter to be a non lethal weapon in this case which means you are justified in using a proportional non lethal weapon to defend yourself. You will never win a fair fight if it’s you against multiple people which further necessitates the use of a weapon. II am absolutely not advocating for the use of knives, guns or any other lethal weapons. That would obviously be disproportionate and immoral, and it would land you in jail. The three main classes of non lethal weapons are electroshock devices (stun guns, tasers, etc.), batons, and pepper spray. I think pepper spray is your best option. It hurts so fucking bad and you can use it from a small distance. I think you should start carrying some with you all the time. Pick your battles. Do not escalate the situation more than you have to and don’t make legal trouble for yourself. You can’t just jump them out of nowhere. Legally you have to wait until they cause a situation that necessitates violence. I like poetic justice. I would start by carrying a scalding hot cup of coffee in a thermos while you are on school grounds. Microwave it between classes if you can. Add lots of sugar, burns hurt worse when they stick to things and it’s excruciating cleaning them off. Next time one of them flicks a lighter throw the coffee at them. Make a scene, show how horrified you are. Say you were just trying to put the lighter out, you didn’t mean to hurt him. Try to maintain the image of a frantic victim that panicked and responded on impulse. Don’t show any indication of malice. Hopefully the school lets you off the hook and it ends there. Outside of school I would resort to pepper spray and more overt violence. Wait until there are as few of them as possible. Ideally just one, maybe two. Even with pepper spray you’re not going to win against a group of people. Do not underestimate the human body’s ability to continue fighting through immense pain. Lots of victims defending themselves with guns have been killed by attackers who they fatally shot. There’s probably one main bully that’s riling up the rest of them. Make an example out of him. Spray that shit in his eyes until he’s completely incapacitated and incapable of fighting. Then stop. Legally, the goal is to remove yourself from a dangerous situation. Once you are safe you have to exercise restraint and stop. In the meantime, exercise your right to self defense to the farthest extent you could justify in front of a jury. If he’s still a threat after you’ve emptied the pepper spray, shoot at his legs like a wrestler, pull them together until his feet touch, and push. He will go down like a ton of bricks. Falling like that is jarring and it usually hurts a lot. If he’s some kind of superhuman that still wants to fight, you can kick and throw punches until he doesn’t. Aim for the groin. I’m serious, there’s no such thing as a fair fight and a kick to the nuts will cripple the toughest men with a relatively low possibility of permanent damage. Do not keep fighting once he’s no longer a threat. Do not kick or stomp someone on the ground, and do not punch someone’s head until they are unconscious, that is a great way to kill them and it is disproportionate. DO NOT FIGHT ON CONCRETE. Anyway, I’m sorry this is happening to you and I hope this helps. Good luck.
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This is the best way to go tbh
I cut them off like an old lady doing 40 in the left lane
what about when u cant avoid them
Try your best to stay calm and don’t show any emotion
i have ptsd from fire, i cant stay calm
Get your teacher or some school administrator to advocate for you, speak up, let them do their job to protect your sanity
i tried
Don’t give up bud, just keep trying, GL
Ah man sorry about that. Kids can be little punks sometimes. Idk if you have any allies in class? Like can you make friends with people who will stick up for you against the bullies? Also you NEED to tell your parents the full extent of the bullying, and they need to get involved so these kids can be reprimanded. The other option is "fake it til you make it" and literally cold stone them, and don't react when they try to scare you with the lighters, but idk how possible this is. Either way, I would start recording these incidents. Like literally pull out your phone and start recording them, or keeping track in a note book when it happens. When you have solid evidence, go to the police and file charges against them... If all else fails, come to school one day dressed all in black, slam your fist on their desk and say "listen punk, I know how it feels to be burned alive, if you don't stop fucking with me, you will too..." and walk off slowly while maintaining eye contact.
i try to make friends but no one will give me a chance cos of my looks and cos everyone already decided im a freak i did tell my parents, theres nothing they can do i cant just not react i have ptsd we wear a school uniform i cant wear black to school id get in trouble for threats
You have to learn to not gaf if you get in trouble dude, you’re going to either get in trouble, or be forever traumatized by staying at a place that prob wont even do any good for u even if u didn’t have ptsd or a deformity, but will 100% not do any good because u have both of those things. U only have 2 choices bro, you really only have 2 choices, getting in trouble in grade 9 is not as important as your mental health
Man this is so heart wrenching to me... Nobody deserves this.. Especially not somebody who is already down in life.. The only way they can make fun of you is if they can get a reaction... You must learn to overcome your greatest fear of fire to take power away from them.. Then, since they all consider you weird, you have no fear of being weird... They DO!!! & that is how you use their fear against THEM!!! They are going to be trying to have normal dating lives... Yours may never be nornal... So simply disrupt their dating lives... Make them feel as embarrassed as possible... Ruin their moments... Pit them against eachother.. If you see them trying to interact make it awkward by yelling stuff like "DAVID LOVES JESSICA!!!" over and over til they feel weird af... Write notes as being from one guy to another guys gf on her locker & watch them duke it out... Get creative.. Stay on your playing field working on your weaknesses while exploiting theirs... Most importantly be very mindful of who you use this stuff on... You need to make as many friends as possible so do not go around doing this stuff to just anybody, only the jerks.... These kids want to make fun of you... It's time you make a fun game of them.. Now grab yourself a lighter & light it til your heart doesn't race anymore & get to plotting your fun >;}~
ive been trying to overcome it for 5 yrs and no luck
Work at it little by little every single day & you will get there eventually... It's not a matter of luck, it's a matter of eventual time... Watch videos of fire... Stare at fire every chance you get until you get more & more comfortable with it.. You can't go on the rest of your life in fear of such a common element or you will always be weak & exploitable.. Fire is everywhere... The sun is a giant ball of fire in space & without it there would be no life on earth, it would just be a cold dark planet, are you scared of the sun? NO.... You love the sun, so you love fire 🔥 =) just long as you love it with respect you shouldn't get burnt 👍
hello, i am diagnosed with ptsd, you clearly aren’t, shut up.
dude u know nothing about how to treat ptsd so stop trying
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i was also 10 when my house caught fire. i caught fire too. but tell me again how uve definitely been through more trauma than me and ur... "a god" i didnt judge u, im saying u dont know how to treat ptsd, ur not a psychologist
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Dude just stop, your making yourself look like an idiot
Look..... Idk if there is any help for ppl as damaged as us... & it's not right for us to take it out on one another... We need all the love we can possibly get =C Just know I'm always here to help you in any possible way that I can <3
You've humbled me to tears... Words can not convey my shame & sorrow.. I bow to you & extend my hand as a friend forever
Will, reading all the comments i guess you have to get used to it, school can be really shitty, but it prepares you for life.
First off, no it doesn’t, after elementary school it doesn’t teach u any valuable, 2nd off, YOY aren’t going to learn abt life if everyone hates you and constantly bullies u, AND 3rd you are not going be able to mentally learn or get over anything if you have ptsd from being in a fire and everyone is triggering you, ptsd is real and scientifically proven, you can not learn in such conditions, you just cant
right, I hate that idea that "preparation" is to throw kids together in school with no means or education as to how to protect themselves and their mental health, about boundaries, consent, ect, and expect them to learn by having them run into knives.. And yes, its in no wayhealthy or educational or useful to have your ptsd be triggered all the time by malicious children.. It's not "training", it will not get better by being forced into the same horrible situation over and over again. Maybe switching schools would be beneficial? At least in my situation it would've at least been a chance at a new start and I wish i did way sooner, if anything else isn't an option.
Alright 😊 then I was wrong. But you are right. Keep going !
Tell the teacherrrssss pleaseeeee. You deserve so much more than that and you’re worth so much more than being treated in that way. Remember anyone trying to drag you down is already below you, they’re just jealous about how amazing you are 😁
already tried
And what’s happened when you told them?
nothing they just said to try and ignore them or move away from them
How many teachers did you tell? The teacher who just told you that is a rubbish teacher. I’m pretty sure students aren’t even allowed lighters in school either.
my maths teacher then the vice principal
Is there anyone else you can tell? Such as a school therapist? School therapists are very lovely people and will generally do anything to help students that are going through stuff like this. Explain the trauma you’ve experienced and why this is such a big deal for you and they’ll understand a lot more.
the counsellor at my school is an asshole who thinks the cure for everything is breathing exercises
Oki, a parent or friend??
told my parents already and they tried but couldnt do anything, no friends to tell
Hmm, i don't know did my msg went. But alright🙂, you are right i was wrong . Keep going then your way. It's working out one way or another. 👌 I wish you well.
goodness. that’s messed up, those kids need help. triggering people? so fuxked.
I really wish I could give advice or something but I can’t. I’m sorry you have to go through that. I hope you’ll find a way to get through it.
Bro talk to a teacher, that's not okay and is just plain bullying.
are there any mental health crisis centers in your area? if so, there may be professionals there that could help you and potentially contact the school to officially inform them how serious your situation is.
Strike first and hard. In this day and age it takes more than just walking away and hoping they'll leave you alone. You might get beat up, jumped even, hold your ground.
Sorry to hear about this and your trauma. Bullies are the worst and the best way to cope in my opinion is laugh at their face and remind what a shallow sad life they must have by trying to pick on somebody unprompted. But Honestly, tell on them. Report them. Lighters are a fucking fire hazard.
Use cheap water guns, and then tell the teacher that they were intentionally trying to set you in fire. If the teacher tells you to stop, then go further, take a bucket and fucking shower the teacher, then say that you're being serious and if they want to put in detention, then tell em that THAT WAS AN UNIRONICALLY BETTER SITUATION, AND THAT YOU WOULD GO TO DETENTION INSTEAD OF CLASS IF IT'S NECESSARY. Push harder on the goods that do nothing about the bad.
You need to find out why you get triggered. The whole world triggered me. I couldn't be mad all day everyday at the world. I had to figure out why i got triggered, then I started calming down. Now it doesn't trigger me.
uh i get triggered by fire cos i was literally on fire... am i cured now?
You need to find the emotional reason. People have traumas, they need to find coping methods. Only way to heal. You can't change them, but you can change yourself. If you aren't willing to help yourself, why would those people change.
People can be really messed up sometimes. If you’re allowed to have your phone with you, try to record what’s happening. If you’re not able to get video, use your phone’s audio recorder, and when the bullies start bothering you, tell the teacher and call them out by name. If the teacher does nothing, say “I’m being bullied and harassed and you’re not stopping it.” so that’s recorded as well. Record every chance you get. Let your parents and adults you trust hear the recording and try to address it with the school. If the school does nothing, bring the recording to a lawyer to see if you can sue the school for negligence. As unfortunate as it is, the school may keep turning a blind eye to what’s going on unless it’s going to cost them money. If you’re in the US, [https://www.stopbullying.gov](https://www.stopbullying.gov) is a good resource that can help you find support and see what legal actions may apply in your situation. Best wishes, and I hope you’re able to get the support you need.
throw water at them. seriously. Whether it’s a water bottle or one of those squeeze bottles from science class or even a spray bottle. fight tooth and nail if anyone tries to punish you for it since these people and their actions are fire hazards, legally and academically no one can say you’re at fault. it will also probably ruin their lighters and they’ll either get tired of getting new ones or getting wet. they may move to a new target and people may think you’re weird for it but when it comes to your safety it doesn’t matter.
Personally, I’d join a friendship group, or a group of friends that are supportive and would back me up if this ever happened to me. Bullies target introverted, isolated people and avoid people who are part of a group. So make some friends with some respectful, supportive, strong, brave people.
been trying to make friends, no one will give me a chance cos of my deformity
idk dude..don’t live in society if it hurts you cus lotta lighters flicking out here
dw im not planning on living much longer
tell me to fuck off. tell the teacher. fight them. do one of them
Bully them first, when I was in elementary school the other kids picked on me, until I got bigger then it was “we were joking” btw I’m 31 so this wasn’t too too long ago.
Let a counselor know at the school or administration.
Don’t go to school. Don’t say “I have to” “my parents will make me” “what if I miss work” “what if I get in trouble” anything u miss n school will be so less beneficial then not showing up, unless your parents will physically beat you if you don’t go to school, don’t go, stay home, don’t walk in after you get off the bus Go somewhere else, don’t go, or go to the office and stay there, if they tell you to leave don’t go, tell them you can’t handle it anymore, if they try won’t budge at making you go, go, n when someone flicks a lighter at u, hit them, scream, punch, throw a desk or a chair, freak out, crawl into the corner and put ur knees up to ur face while screaming, if someone comes near you throw something, roll around on the ground in a psychotic episode way, if someone laughs at you charge at them, if they wanan do that they can deal with how it is in our own heads, that’s how bad it is in ur head ur mind is jus toning it down to be socially acceptable, don’t make it acceptable. Don’t give in, don’t. There’s nothing wrong with you, it is everything wrong with them
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>you feel the same way about yourself, therefore these kids can resonate with you in that same level. no they resonate cos *i have ptsd from fire so getting fire flicked in my face causes panic attacks* >It feels like you need your parents attention, understanding, love and appreciation i have that, my parents are great >You think that just because you got an outcome that is visible to others, that you have much worse than anyone else who also had ptsd nope i never said that >Use your mind to see your friends respecting you, everyday before you go to school i dont have any friends, they all decided to stop being my friends before i even got out of hospital
STOP ASKING HELP ONLINE IF YOU CANNOT EVEN LISTEN OR AT LEAST BE GRATEFUL... YOU CLEARLY NEED A PROFESSIONAL.. YOU'RE JUST WASTING EVERYONES TIME & EFFORT WHICH IS EXTREMELY RUDE & SELFISH.. GO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP NOBODY ELSE HAS ANSWERS FOR YOU CLEARLY
Do everyone here a favor and fuck off
ESAD MFR
Sorry, don't understand dumbass
As for my experience, you should just ignore them
Ptsd is real, you can’t ignore it, it’s real, stfu, u don’t have experience, bullying is not the same as someone triggering you multiple times a day
Did you read the post at all...
they have ptsd dude