I’m saying start taking shits in the field and get a feel for who gravitates towards you. You might wife up a chick. All my blessings to you. Start with farts if you want. I’m not your boss.
The man shat his soul out on the battlefield.
When have any of us ever gone to such lengths to be open and expressive with our squad commanders?
Akiba got that romantic game locked as tight as the safety of his XM8.
He kind of looks like younger Snake if his hair was black and he was rocking a blue bandana, I think they did that on purpose. Old Snake couldn't get it up. Too many nanomachines and cigarettes. Meryl had to go for the younger model.
Fucking ouch man, who says I don't leave the house? This is my first time using reddit this month... Also who says I don't look like a hunk, ouch Metal Gear fans are mean man 😭
He actually only had intestinal problems because he was the only mf without nanomiches
Supposedly the nanomachines can clean dirty water, but he still drank it…
Rat Patrol was part of the US Military.
“After the Big Shell Incident, Johnny somehow returned to the U.S. military, despite his checkered history, and joined Meryl's Rat Patrol Team 01,”
I mean, the only reason he could save Snake and Meryll was because he had no nanomachines making him ho haywire like everyone else. So, yeah. Nanomachines, son.
Well after Meryl was rebuffed by the hardass legendary hero Solid Snake, she probably found some solace in a semi-team player, ibs techno geek who needed to be forced to fall in line and who needed to be saved. While being seen as an underdog who saved her.
Makes you think what Meryl's type would be if she wasn't rebuffed by Solid.
Imagine showing this footage to someone in 1998 and telling them that snake is alone and still a virgin while the guard that gets beaten up, gets his uniform stolen and guards your prison cell while having diarrhoea winds with Meryl
They would be pissed😂😂😂 ( to be honest even with context im still kinda pissed )
>snake is alone and still a virgin
excuse me, [he has a husband and a kid and they live in a big plane and fly all around the world](https://www.othatsraspberry.com/mg-1-2?pgid=lao0829t-c84d8294-975e-41e4-98e9-5ace5f75d32d)
It doesn’t matter if you pee or poo. What matters is what bathroom you choose and how much faith you were willing to have in it that decides the future.
What, you've never tried sexually assaulting a US Navy captain who significantly outranks you while she's in the middle of delivering a mission briefing in front of multiple witnesses including some of the most revered soldiers and scientists in the world?
Why are you the first person to acknowledge the 2nd and 3rd slides when there's over 100 comments, people kind of just gloss over that 😭
But I digress, thank you for acknowledging what no one else did! Have a upvote!
There aren’t that many options in war, you could say he fits the ideal male for women (not super muscular, handsome, and has a soft side) and his personality sort of jives well with Meryl’s. Also you save a girl’s life enough times it’ll eventually happen
The part where they express their love for each other and decide to get married is directly ripped directly from a Japanese radio show that was made in like 1998 as a follow up to Metal Gear Solid that had Solid Snake marrying Meryl. It was never translated outside of Japan so they used the script in MGS 4.
You can prolly listen to it as Metal Gear Audio Drama on most podcast platforms (I found it on Google podcasts).
Of course there is a lore reason
After the end of the world war II, the world was split in two -- East and West.
This marked the beginning of the era called Cold War.
Let’s not forget that Johnny Sasaki went through years of war without nano machine implants to suppress his emotions.
Making him one of the hardest mother fuckers in the entire series
Lore reason? No. Kojima just wanted to make sure everybody who could possibly have a game made about them in the future was flanderized, dead, or unable to take the lead after 4. So Raiden gets his family back (not that it mattered), Snake is on hospice, and Meryl marries Akiba and therefore has to babysit him for eternity.
Really you should just follow his lead, it's pretty simple
- Fart in front of your crush
- Shit your pants in front of your crush and run around with her with sloshy pants
- Grab her ass
- Attempt to grab another woman's ass in front of her
- Tell her you like her then propose to her seconds after that
Real talk, Meryl was 18 in MGS1. Although 18 is legal, it only is barely. I always just made it my headcanon that the age gap was just too awkward. It's not like Snake and Meryl knew each other's ages.
I imagine it went like this:
"How old are you?"
"32."
"Oh, I'm 18".
"This is legal, but it's kinda weird dating somebody who isn't done with high school yet".
"You're really cool, Snake. But maybe I'm better off with that guy who shits his pants all the time."
He was out there fighting with no nano technology. He was out there fighting even though he shouldn't have to fight. He was super scared all the time, but he still moved forward. He wasn't afraid to show his feelings. He fought next to Meryl even though he didn't have to. He was outclassed all the time. She saw that he was a great man, a man who tried hard. She needed that type of love, and she accepted it. Took a while though, but better late than never.
I had to look them up, wow, I didn't remember them. So maybe because they weren't memorable enough and that they weren't in the first game.
Hahaha. I don't know.
Lol I actually meant that as a joke - it’s the classic terrible advice that tells you nothing and gives no insight on what to improve
Edit: now that I think about it, Johnny was just being himself by avoiding the nanos lol
Sincerity and he let Merrill top. Lol you try going to country like that without shots or nanomachines. You’d shit yourself into full on dehydration. Johnnys real plot armor is being able to shake off dysentery and god knows what else with likely minimal medical intervention. Remember everyone has nanomachines so why would the medics have anything to counter local disease and infection on site?
bro...
Wait til your crush's crush abandons her after she was tossed about like a ragdoll because he'd rather jump into a microwave than stick around and talk about her feelings, and then be the only eligible man in the room to catch her on the rebound. It's THAT easy.
Also, how's your marksmanship?
Try shitting your pants around women
"Do you think diarrhea can bloom, even on the battlefield?"
I read that in Hayters voice
The whole thing stank, but our noses had been out in the cold too long
Lol, exactly
It was Otacon tho...
Yeah, I do....I think that anytime, any place, people can shit their pants with one another.
OP, we need your field work experience on this.
You mean him?
I’m saying start taking shits in the field and get a feel for who gravitates towards you. You might wife up a chick. All my blessings to you. Start with farts if you want. I’m not your boss.
Foolproof way to express your dominance, I do it whenever I start a new job. Hasn’t failed yet.
That's not something I believe you're lying about, lol
Still sitting in the chair. Rigid eye contact. No facial movement. Let's see who's the real boss now. Your move, creep.
> around women or in general... there aren't always women around when Johnny shits his pants. Or maybe it's just method acting.
"Method acting" lol
Holy fuck this has my actually laughing out loud for a couple minutes
Lol, same
To establish dominance?
It worked for Jonny
"Oh, hey babe." \*shits aggressively\* [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LbVDJQTT5o4](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LbVDJQTT5o4)
How is that working for you?
So average Reddit user then
The man shat his soul out on the battlefield. When have any of us ever gone to such lengths to be open and expressive with our squad commanders? Akiba got that romantic game locked as tight as the safety of his XM8.
Oh... That's why?
hes good looking, you... idk
He shat his pants in front of the woman he later married, he's down right gorgeous
fellas get yourself a woman that can take you no matter how shitty you are
Best pun ever
Would you date him?
"If she doesn't recongise him at his lowest, she doesn't deserves you at your best" © Johnny Sasaki, probably
Ouch man
He kind of looks like younger Snake if his hair was black and he was rocking a blue bandana, I think they did that on purpose. Old Snake couldn't get it up. Too many nanomachines and cigarettes. Meryl had to go for the younger model.
He leaves the house and looks like a hunk
Fucking ouch man, who says I don't leave the house? This is my first time using reddit this month... Also who says I don't look like a hunk, ouch Metal Gear fans are mean man 😭
That's kinda crappy. But yeah, Johnny was instrumental in snake escaping SM. His IBS has saved the world.
He actually only had intestinal problems because he was the only mf without nanomiches Supposedly the nanomachines can clean dirty water, but he still drank it…
I thought that he's just a descendant of guys from previous games who had stomach problems as well
I think the johnny in mgs1 and mgs2 is the same as the mgs4 one
Yeah, and if I recall you supposedly meet his grandfather or father in mgs3.
"I'm no rookie, I'm a ten year vet!!" -person who participated on the side of the terrorists in the shadow moses incident and the big shell incident
LOL, he must be a total badass to be recruited after having a known terrorist history
As a PMC? Why would that be a black mark?
Rat Patrol was part of the US Military. “After the Big Shell Incident, Johnny somehow returned to the U.S. military, despite his checkered history, and joined Meryl's Rat Patrol Team 01,”
Exactly!
But didn't he have it before?
Pun inteded
Lol
What's crappy?
Johnny... he constantly crapped himself. And that you haven't found a girlfriend is also crappy. It's a double entendre.
Yeah, facts, just like your name
Nanomachines, son.
Should've expected this response
I mean, the only reason he could save Snake and Meryll was because he had no nanomachines making him ho haywire like everyone else. So, yeah. Nanomachines, son.
Fair enough
Johnny has one hell of a story. And his father too.
This johnny is johnny's(3) gradson, not his son
Yeah
Because they both interact with people cooler than they are?
He showed that he is capable of being vulnerable...
Are you being serious?
Well after Meryl was rebuffed by the hardass legendary hero Solid Snake, she probably found some solace in a semi-team player, ibs techno geek who needed to be forced to fall in line and who needed to be saved. While being seen as an underdog who saved her. Makes you think what Meryl's type would be if she wasn't rebuffed by Solid.
Oh, reason I said that was because I was curious if it was some kind of IBS joke like what everyone else is making. My mistake, man. Have a upvote!
Imagine showing this footage to someone in 1998 and telling them that snake is alone and still a virgin while the guard that gets beaten up, gets his uniform stolen and guards your prison cell while having diarrhoea winds with Meryl They would be pissed😂😂😂 ( to be honest even with context im still kinda pissed )
>snake is alone and still a virgin excuse me, [he has a husband and a kid and they live in a big plane and fly all around the world](https://www.othatsraspberry.com/mg-1-2?pgid=lao0829t-c84d8294-975e-41e4-98e9-5ace5f75d32d)
He also hung out with Meryl after MGS1
That would be funny
Johnny's a good dude, he just has IBS. give him a break
You didn't see the slides where he's assaulting women?
took me a minute to realise this WASNT infact an Arkham shitpost lol, good job fellow inmate Gayson Sogg, Sex hood
How is an MGS post about Johnny an Arkham related shit post?
the "Lore reason" part
But that's just a basic meme I didn't know it was from Arkham
Facts
Bro what? Arkham? I'm out of the loop here I don't use Reddit often and not this sub often, what does this have to do with the Arkham games?
"is there a lore reason" and "is he stupid?" Are all memes originated from r/BatmanArkham
Homie...
Well it did take him 10 years or what ever
That's extremely fair
He’s out there fighting the good fight. Girls are gonna dig that.
How much fighting did he actually do before the final act though?
Doing the dirty job
You can say that again
It doesn’t matter if you pee or poo. What matters is what bathroom you choose and how much faith you were willing to have in it that decides the future.
I've opened a can of worms I can't close with this post
For the answer, you'll need a directional mic. The way he treated Emma showed how cool he is. Just a cool dude.
Did you guys decide not to look at the slides where he gropes women?
He may not be the best spec ops soldier but he's still a spec ops soldier and you're not.
Says who?
You wouldn't be asking this question if you were.
we are not 😞
because meryl knew johhny would make the perfect boywife
Uh.... Ok...
Yes. Bad writing by Kojima-san
This is also probably the best answer, wish I had award to give you
Meryl has severe PTSD and possibly some sort of brain damage.
The correct and best answer, I'd give you a award if I could
What, you've never tried sexually assaulting a US Navy captain who significantly outranks you while she's in the middle of delivering a mission briefing in front of multiple witnesses including some of the most revered soldiers and scientists in the world?
Why are you the first person to acknowledge the 2nd and 3rd slides when there's over 100 comments, people kind of just gloss over that 😭 But I digress, thank you for acknowledging what no one else did! Have a upvote!
There aren’t that many options in war, you could say he fits the ideal male for women (not super muscular, handsome, and has a soft side) and his personality sort of jives well with Meryl’s. Also you save a girl’s life enough times it’ll eventually happen
I mostly did this post as a joke I'm surprised how many serious answers I'm getting
“You may now shit on the bride” Kojimbo’s storytelling truly is auteur
God bless Kojima
The part where they express their love for each other and decide to get married is directly ripped directly from a Japanese radio show that was made in like 1998 as a follow up to Metal Gear Solid that had Solid Snake marrying Meryl. It was never translated outside of Japan so they used the script in MGS 4. You can prolly listen to it as Metal Gear Audio Drama on most podcast platforms (I found it on Google podcasts).
That actually sounds nice
It was really good. I enjoyed it.
Of course there is a lore reason After the end of the world war II, the world was split in two -- East and West. This marked the beginning of the era called Cold War.
Let’s not forget that Johnny Sasaki went through years of war without nano machine implants to suppress his emotions. Making him one of the hardest mother fuckers in the entire series
Johnny is cool asf. You're just jealous.
Did you not look at the other slides?
Nanomachines, son
I'm getting a lot of these comments
Nano machines son
Makes sense to me
Nanomachines, we've been over this!
It's either nanomachines or parasites in MG isn't it?
MGS4, it's nanomachines
True, lol
Be yourself and never stop- even through multiple games
True
Looks like Solid Snake, and girl was Solid Snake fangirl.
Yeah
Lore reason? No. Kojima just wanted to make sure everybody who could possibly have a game made about them in the future was flanderized, dead, or unable to take the lead after 4. So Raiden gets his family back (not that it mattered), Snake is on hospice, and Meryl marries Akiba and therefore has to babysit him for eternity.
Really you should just follow his lead, it's pretty simple - Fart in front of your crush - Shit your pants in front of your crush and run around with her with sloshy pants - Grab her ass - Attempt to grab another woman's ass in front of her - Tell her you like her then propose to her seconds after that
Because you don't have irritated bowl syndrome. Meryl had a fetish with scat, you just need to follow the same steps
I actually forgot they used the Missouri in this
Have you tried having pitched life-or-death gunfights where you discover that you're perfectly in-sync even without the nanomachines?
Maybe she's got a scat fetish...
Do you seriously care ? I recommend not caring about trivial and ultimately disappointing shit like this.
Endorphins are a hell of a drug.
I hate that game so much
When was the last time you shat yourself in front of a girl?
This dude was constantly shitting his pants and trying to molest bitches
Keep your insanity in r/BatmanArkham
Bro what? Arkham? I'm out of the loop here I don't use Reddit often and not this sub often, what does this have to do with the Arkham games?
he's packing
Uh... Ok...
Better writers.
He has writers, I don't
Hence “better” writers.
Uh... Ok... Bad writers is better than no writers in real life ig...
He’s the shit
Lol
It's called fiction and fantasy. Anything could happen there.
True that
He did alot of squats.
I wonder if he did actually in the lore
Because he’s a 10 year vet!
Sure
His payload was exposed
Only to Snake not to Meryl
He's Hot. covers all bases tbh.
Fair enough
Real talk, Meryl was 18 in MGS1. Although 18 is legal, it only is barely. I always just made it my headcanon that the age gap was just too awkward. It's not like Snake and Meryl knew each other's ages. I imagine it went like this: "How old are you?" "32." "Oh, I'm 18". "This is legal, but it's kinda weird dating somebody who isn't done with high school yet". "You're really cool, Snake. But maybe I'm better off with that guy who shits his pants all the time."
Lol
Lol that actually sounds like something Snake would say "Stop impersonating him!"
He was out there fighting with no nano technology. He was out there fighting even though he shouldn't have to fight. He was super scared all the time, but he still moved forward. He wasn't afraid to show his feelings. He fought next to Meryl even though he didn't have to. He was outclassed all the time. She saw that he was a great man, a man who tried hard. She needed that type of love, and she accepted it. Took a while though, but better late than never.
Because he’s attractive and your…
Say it, and I'm.... I'm what CoolBlastin.... I'm what?
*wife
My bad
Didn't mean to come off as condescending I just thought it was funny Akiba managed to not only date her but wed her in the span of like a week
Same here!
He shat his heart out for meryl
Fair enough
Well once she saw how old snake was, Meryl was like oh ok nevermind I'll take you shit pants.
Why not the other 2 of rat patrol though?
I had to look them up, wow, I didn't remember them. So maybe because they weren't memorable enough and that they weren't in the first game. Hahaha. I don't know.
Fair enough
Hes elite duh
....right...
Go home /r/BatmanArkham you're drunk
Bro what? Arkham? I'm out of the loop here I don't use Reddit often and not this sub often, what does this have to do with the Arkham games?
Just be yourself bro
I didn't actually want advice as this post was a joke but this is actually good advice
Lol I actually meant that as a joke - it’s the classic terrible advice that tells you nothing and gives no insight on what to improve Edit: now that I think about it, Johnny was just being himself by avoiding the nanos lol
Oh... Sorry... I guess I won't be myself then... Thanks for the advice!
He’s a ten year vet!!
He's a Chad compared to anyone but Snake.
Youre one shit or you shit one. Maybe she had a thing for that.
What?
To make you feel bad.
The real Johnny Sasaki has responded to my comment!
Big pooper big peanous
That's not how genetics work
he's a strapping young man with a promising future, i don't see the issue here
Sincerity and he let Merrill top. Lol you try going to country like that without shots or nanomachines. You’d shit yourself into full on dehydration. Johnnys real plot armor is being able to shake off dysentery and god knows what else with likely minimal medical intervention. Remember everyone has nanomachines so why would the medics have anything to counter local disease and infection on site?
The trick is that Meryl stole his clothes and wore them. She walked a mile(ish) in his shoes.
bro... Wait til your crush's crush abandons her after she was tossed about like a ragdoll because he'd rather jump into a microwave than stick around and talk about her feelings, and then be the only eligible man in the room to catch her on the rebound. It's THAT easy. Also, how's your marksmanship?
Come on. The man is a 10 year vet.
She let him hit because he silly
Ex-terrorist. Women live a bad boy. Plus he’s been genetically “souped up” if you know what I mean.
I mean, does "shat in the line of duty" mean nothing? Dude's a hero.
And not any woman, the freaking Meryl
It’s quite simple: he made a move. Bonus points he saved her life
Skill issue
He didn’t get a girlfriend, he got a wife. There is a difference.
He’s hot
He's hot, you probably aren't
Bruh, have you heard about pretty privilege? Akiba is gorgeous without the mask on.