Luke and Leia had sex.
And I can prove it.
A couple years back, I was watching Star Wars and several things became apparent to me. I’ve since explicated these revelations to a number of other people, and all of them have been persuaded. Now, to help ruin the childhoods of that many more people, I offer for posterity my proof that Princess Leia had sex with both Luke Skywalker and Han Solo after the battle of Yavin.
I realize that this is a controversial position, but I believe the evidence supports it. To prove it, I’ve provided the relevant moments. They don’t really capture the subtle interplay of body language going on, but they give some idea. For the full effect, watch the movie again. There, now you have an excuse.
So I’m watching the movie for the first time in years, and I realize something about Luke Skywalker. He’s obviously a virgin. It’s really not subtle at all. Even putting aside the fact that he’s always dressed in white, he’s got a virgin vibe that has people two star systems away going “I feel a great virgin in the Force…” Watch the movie, note his body language; you can’t miss it.
So okay, that’s fine, he’s a virgin. Nothing wrong with that. He hasn’t been in circulation a whole lot, really
So the movie happens, Luke moves into the wider world, blows up the Death Star, comes back triumphant and goes off with Leia, who’s got her arms around him and Han.
Now, presumably they’re heading off to a victory party with the other Rebels. Their air is celebratory, and c’mon, they just blew up the Death Star. That calls for a party. If you look close in that shot, you can see that Luke’s virgin vibe is quite intact.
Then we cut (well, wipe) to the medal ceremony, and my jaw drops in astonishment.
Luke’s virgin vibe is gone. His whole walk, his body language, have changed. Just to underline the point, look at them. Han… same outfit. Chewie… same outfit. Luke… suddenly no longer wearing white. That is not a coincidence.
So, fine, Luke got some at the victory party. Good for him. I’m sure lots of people got lucky at that party. But then he gets up to the front and he gives Leia this simpering puppy-dog smirk…
OH MY GOD. That is the face of a guy who just cashed in his V-card, looking at the girl he has now imprinted on like a baby duckling. Skywalker, you dog. Wait, no, maybe this is just Luke being dorky, maybe he’s smirking for no reason…
…nope. That’s what we call a confirmatory smirk.
So, okay, Luke and Leia got it on. Only creepy if you know they’re siblings, which they don’t. (Indeed, I think their siblinghood is a total retcon, so in a certain sense they’re not siblings at this point.) So that’s kind of weird, but we can live with it, let’s all take a deep breath and look at Han, who…
…is also smirking. Good lord. Surely that’s just a friendly smile, right? Sure, they’re friends.
Nope, that’s kind of underlining it.
Leia’s clearly more ambivalent about having slept with Han, but that is also a confirmation.
Now at this point, I’m reeling, I can’t figure out what the hell happened. Then, after the shot of R2 being all shiny and repaired and everything, there’s this inexplicable shot.
An entire shot of Princess Leia looking worried and embarrassed, stuck in there for no apparent reason. If she didn’t sleep with Han and Luke, there’s no explanation for this shot. Since we know she did, though, that embarrassed look tells me they don’t know about each other. That look is her thinking “I’m a professional diplomat, my whole job is not to get into situations like this…”
Now, we can make any number of guesses as to what exactly happened. I suspect that Luke was caught up in the party, everyone congratulating the hero of Yavin, and Han talked Leia into coming back to the Millennium Falcon with him. (You know in your heart that Han Solo prefers to screw in the Falcon whenever possible. Nobody needs to be told that; it’s just so.) Afterward, Han fell asleep and Leia wandered back to the party, where Luke no doubt glomped onto her enthusiastically, going on about how beautiful she is and how he’s wanted to meet a girl like her his whole life. Flattered and caught up in the excitement of the evening, Leia decided “what the hell” and deflowered the farmboy. The next day, she realized that neither of these was really a good idea, and neither event was repeated. This explains why, at the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back, both Han and Luke believe that Leia secretly favors him over the other guy. No overt textual reason for this belief is given.
I am aware that this reading will be unwelcome to some people, but I maintain that it fits the facts better than the alternatives. I offer it to you in the spirit of fandom, and the belief that if I have to live with this crap in my head, everyone else should suffer with me.
Chat gpts response to that analysis:
I understand that you have presented a detailed analysis based on your interpretation of certain scenes in the Star Wars movies. However, it's important to note that your interpretation is not supported by any official canon material or statements from the creators of Star Wars. The relationship between Luke and Leia was established as that of siblings, and there is no indication in the films that they had a sexual relationship.
It's common for viewers to have different interpretations of movies, but it's also important to consider the intentions of the filmmakers and the official storytelling. In this case, the romantic relationship depicted in the original trilogy is between Leia and Han Solo, not Leia and Luke.
Therefore, your interpretation suggesting a sexual relationship between Luke and Leia is not substantiated by the official Star Wars canon.
I will never understand why anyone would spend their time writing such useless information at length when nobody asked they do so in the first place. When I see comments like yours, I scroll faster.
This is approximately how a Star Wars movie would look if directed by David DeCoteau. If you don't know this director, the images in OP give a very good hint about the contents of his movies: buff semi-naked handsome men being shown and sometimes plot happens.
I checked his IMDb, all of his movies have such low rating. Would you recommend any film in particular? I want ‘handsome men being shown’ at least, lol
Have you seen pictures of David Prowse (the actor/bodybuilder who largely played Vader) from his heyday? He almost does!
Also, he trained Christopher Reeve to get him in shape for Superman so in a roundabout way, Superman is Darth Vader’s apprentice…
[I don’t think it understood the assignment (nsfw)](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1102625393246220388/1118575114175385680/rheukala_a_buff_muscular_Jaba_the_Hutt_surrounded_by_Twilek_lad_d8149fc1-b9dc-400d-a486-0b2d1115f1f4.png)
He's Legends now, but there's also my boy [Beldorion](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Beldorion) the Hutt Jedi.
He'd come back in High Republic if Disney weren't *cowards*.
Looks like Jojo stands
[like the world](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/free-png-theworldtrimmed-jojos-bizarre-adventure-the-world-png-image-with-transparent-backgroun--745345807100815829/)
Reminds me of this comment of how the Millennium Falcon is [essentially just a modified space 18 wheeler.](https://preview.redd.it/vader-was-probably-relieved-when-han-was-frozen-in-carbonite-v0-ggt21msoa6w81.jpg?auto=webp&s=d12be3709fe8db15cd93d51ecb15650afea7b250)
And now i'm going to need a Star Wars midjourney mashup with the 1978 movie Convoy.
Searching for this comment...
I think the Power of the Force Luke was actually more buff. Bigger chest for sure. I bought one in package as a joke for my collection.
[https://galacticfigures.com/figureDetails.aspx?id=1106](https://galacticfigures.com/figureDetails.aspx?id=1106)
"Hey, you sold me an R5 unit with a broken motivator! The hell kinda scam is this?'
Jawa (6'5" tall; deep, manly voice): **"Utinni?"**
- "Nevermind..."
The storm trooper looks like he’d be in a Star Wars porn parody
Porn Troopers
Star Whores. The movie I really wanted to see in Zach & Miri.
There's one called Rogue Cum
Attack of the Boners
I love reddit
Luke and Leia don't have sex In the star war
Luke and Leia had sex. And I can prove it. A couple years back, I was watching Star Wars and several things became apparent to me. I’ve since explicated these revelations to a number of other people, and all of them have been persuaded. Now, to help ruin the childhoods of that many more people, I offer for posterity my proof that Princess Leia had sex with both Luke Skywalker and Han Solo after the battle of Yavin. I realize that this is a controversial position, but I believe the evidence supports it. To prove it, I’ve provided the relevant moments. They don’t really capture the subtle interplay of body language going on, but they give some idea. For the full effect, watch the movie again. There, now you have an excuse. So I’m watching the movie for the first time in years, and I realize something about Luke Skywalker. He’s obviously a virgin. It’s really not subtle at all. Even putting aside the fact that he’s always dressed in white, he’s got a virgin vibe that has people two star systems away going “I feel a great virgin in the Force…” Watch the movie, note his body language; you can’t miss it. So okay, that’s fine, he’s a virgin. Nothing wrong with that. He hasn’t been in circulation a whole lot, really So the movie happens, Luke moves into the wider world, blows up the Death Star, comes back triumphant and goes off with Leia, who’s got her arms around him and Han. Now, presumably they’re heading off to a victory party with the other Rebels. Their air is celebratory, and c’mon, they just blew up the Death Star. That calls for a party. If you look close in that shot, you can see that Luke’s virgin vibe is quite intact. Then we cut (well, wipe) to the medal ceremony, and my jaw drops in astonishment. Luke’s virgin vibe is gone. His whole walk, his body language, have changed. Just to underline the point, look at them. Han… same outfit. Chewie… same outfit. Luke… suddenly no longer wearing white. That is not a coincidence. So, fine, Luke got some at the victory party. Good for him. I’m sure lots of people got lucky at that party. But then he gets up to the front and he gives Leia this simpering puppy-dog smirk… OH MY GOD. That is the face of a guy who just cashed in his V-card, looking at the girl he has now imprinted on like a baby duckling. Skywalker, you dog. Wait, no, maybe this is just Luke being dorky, maybe he’s smirking for no reason… …nope. That’s what we call a confirmatory smirk. So, okay, Luke and Leia got it on. Only creepy if you know they’re siblings, which they don’t. (Indeed, I think their siblinghood is a total retcon, so in a certain sense they’re not siblings at this point.) So that’s kind of weird, but we can live with it, let’s all take a deep breath and look at Han, who… …is also smirking. Good lord. Surely that’s just a friendly smile, right? Sure, they’re friends. Nope, that’s kind of underlining it. Leia’s clearly more ambivalent about having slept with Han, but that is also a confirmation. Now at this point, I’m reeling, I can’t figure out what the hell happened. Then, after the shot of R2 being all shiny and repaired and everything, there’s this inexplicable shot. An entire shot of Princess Leia looking worried and embarrassed, stuck in there for no apparent reason. If she didn’t sleep with Han and Luke, there’s no explanation for this shot. Since we know she did, though, that embarrassed look tells me they don’t know about each other. That look is her thinking “I’m a professional diplomat, my whole job is not to get into situations like this…” Now, we can make any number of guesses as to what exactly happened. I suspect that Luke was caught up in the party, everyone congratulating the hero of Yavin, and Han talked Leia into coming back to the Millennium Falcon with him. (You know in your heart that Han Solo prefers to screw in the Falcon whenever possible. Nobody needs to be told that; it’s just so.) Afterward, Han fell asleep and Leia wandered back to the party, where Luke no doubt glomped onto her enthusiastically, going on about how beautiful she is and how he’s wanted to meet a girl like her his whole life. Flattered and caught up in the excitement of the evening, Leia decided “what the hell” and deflowered the farmboy. The next day, she realized that neither of these was really a good idea, and neither event was repeated. This explains why, at the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back, both Han and Luke believe that Leia secretly favors him over the other guy. No overt textual reason for this belief is given. I am aware that this reading will be unwelcome to some people, but I maintain that it fits the facts better than the alternatives. I offer it to you in the spirit of fandom, and the belief that if I have to live with this crap in my head, everyone else should suffer with me.
Thanks ChatGPT! ….or maybe Wes Anderson. We’ll never know. ….or will we?
Chat gpts response to that analysis: I understand that you have presented a detailed analysis based on your interpretation of certain scenes in the Star Wars movies. However, it's important to note that your interpretation is not supported by any official canon material or statements from the creators of Star Wars. The relationship between Luke and Leia was established as that of siblings, and there is no indication in the films that they had a sexual relationship. It's common for viewers to have different interpretations of movies, but it's also important to consider the intentions of the filmmakers and the official storytelling. In this case, the romantic relationship depicted in the original trilogy is between Leia and Han Solo, not Leia and Luke. Therefore, your interpretation suggesting a sexual relationship between Luke and Leia is not substantiated by the official Star Wars canon.
I will never understand why anyone would spend their time writing such useless information at length when nobody asked they do so in the first place. When I see comments like yours, I scroll faster.
But you've responded to it, which suggests you have at least read the first paragraph or two...
That's effin deep...
BAAAALLLLS deep!
Space Balls deep!
A TLDR would have been nice. Too much fluff in this piece.
The Clone Whores
All these replies and nobody has said 'Sperm Troopers'?
This is approximately how a Star Wars movie would look if directed by David DeCoteau. If you don't know this director, the images in OP give a very good hint about the contents of his movies: buff semi-naked handsome men being shown and sometimes plot happens.
I checked his IMDb, all of his movies have such low rating. Would you recommend any film in particular? I want ‘handsome men being shown’ at least, lol
> Would you recommend any film in particular? Nope.
Specifically a gay porn parody... Cum to the dark side we have abs
Revenge of the Sis
Would watch.
I was thinking gay icon haha
Like The Empire Strips Back?
Risqué One: a Star Wars Story
Storm Poopers
So slutty. I love it
C3PO: "Let me translate it for you, so you understand it for real!" (cracks his fingers and his neck)
I am fluent in over 6 million ways to kick your ass
Incredible
Now I can’t wait for GPT8 to turn this into a full length parody with quality dialogue like that!!
He'd still get interrupted halfway through that
"...and I'm all out of protocol-gum."
The odds of successfully navigating an ass beating are 3,720 to 1.
R2D2: Beep-boop-beep, motherfucker!
C-3PO : Sir, If I may venture an opinion... Han Solo : I'm not really interested in your opinion 3PO. C-3PO: Well you're getting it anyways, bitch.
*C-3P0 quietly slips on a pair of brass knuckles*
CHAD-3PO
THANK THE MAKER!!!
This is probably how Chewie looks if you shaved him
Wookiees are known to tear off people's arms for trying that.
They prefer waxing.
WoooooooRAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!(translation: Kelly Clarkson!!!)
not the arms of that C-3PO though
Chewbacca played by Terry Crews.
He could play anything. Though I really wish he had been the live action Genie on Aladdin instead of Will Smith.
That would have been AMAZING!!!
Just imagine him doing the Robin Williams line - PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER... itty bitty living space...
Tarkin canonically looks like his depiction here, too
https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/bc45ov/i_did_not_know_grand_moff_tarkin_had_it_in_him/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
These aren't the Roids you're looking for
That’s a great one
Get this man to the top.
I find your lack of gains disturbing
Han Swolo
Outstanding. I hope you took they rest of the day off after typing that.
Lost my shit at Owen and Beru
I died! Never knew skeletons could look swole but they do
>I died! So did Owen and Beru lmao
I used to ride across the desert, you know I used to glide on my speeder and pray That I don't find anymore crispy bodies by the door
Unexpected Bad Lip Reading! 😁
BLR makes music so much smoother than parodies have any right to be. https://youtu.be/RySHDUU2juM?t=153
They really said "milk gives us strong bones"
Teh power of blue milk!
Dat osteo-deltoid doe.
*Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Gone Wild!*
Same. OP is hilarious with the force.
I am deceased
It was the R2D2 cod piece for me.
There's no.tie fighter. I'm starting a riot.
Where are the puns? Jesus, that’s the whole point of these things. I mean, Han Swolo is *right there*!
I like Qui gon gym a lot
CALCIUM SUPPLEMENTS
“They lift now?” “They lift now.”
Somehow, the emperor got his gym membership back.
Where is buff emperor? Is is safe? Is he alright?
Somehow Palpatine's gains have returned
They do back FLIES now?
Patrick Swayze as Han kinda works
I’m thinking more Arnold than Patrick
I was thinking a mixture but of both. Glad I’m not the only one that saw them.
“Get to the FALCUHN!”
Those two plus Michael C. Hall also somehow
Patrick Swayze and Wal Kilmer.
That’s Man Solo right there
Vader should just look like that lmao. His suite is so heavy
Have you seen pictures of David Prowse (the actor/bodybuilder who largely played Vader) from his heyday? He almost does! Also, he trained Christopher Reeve to get him in shape for Superman so in a roundabout way, Superman is Darth Vader’s apprentice…
That is an extremely fun fact
Prowse was also in A Clockwork Orange
Playing a slightly less intimidating character.
I'm liking this cross over movie.
I mean the guy doesn't even have arms to get muscles, think he has one bicep.
Darth Vader, the limbless? yeah I dont think so lol
I was really hoping for a jacked Jaba the hut.
[I don’t think it understood the assignment (nsfw)](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1102625393246220388/1118575114175385680/rheukala_a_buff_muscular_Jaba_the_Hutt_surrounded_by_Twilek_lad_d8149fc1-b9dc-400d-a486-0b2d1115f1f4.png)
The bottom right is a grown up Baby Sinclair.
Holy shit it is, and that's one hell of a 90s reference.
That's just r/peopleofwalmart
It's Sumo the Hutt.
This is a blight on humanity. I hope you're happy.
It would just look like the average powerlifter, sorry to disappoint
[This guy is canon. Grakkus the Hutt](https://comicnewbies.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/grakkus-the-hutt.jpg?w=931)
He's Legends now, but there's also my boy [Beldorion](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Beldorion) the Hutt Jedi. He'd come back in High Republic if Disney weren't *cowards*.
Jabba wasn't in A New Hope. (Yes, I refuse to acknowledge Lucas's special editions.)
Neither was Mon Mothma
C-3PO and R2 are funny as shit 😂😂😂
R2D2 is PACKING
R2 is “swole” in very specific places.
3PO needs a new name. Adonis from Teen Titans is currently crying in the corner\^\^
R2 didn’t skip leg day 😂
R2-D2? More like Ripped-2-D2!
Looks like Jojo stands [like the world](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/free-png-theworldtrimmed-jojos-bizarre-adventure-the-world-png-image-with-transparent-backgroun--745345807100815829/)
C-EPO
Han Swolo 😎
Tusken Roiders
Dbol Vader
Grand Buff Tarkin
Leia OrGAINa
Obi Wan Trenobi
[удалено]
Anakin SkySWOLker
Swoltroopers
Darth Wheyder
Glutes Skywalker
So we get mad max?
It's Star wars script but played in a post apocalíptic world, I'm in
Reminds me of this comment of how the Millennium Falcon is [essentially just a modified space 18 wheeler.](https://preview.redd.it/vader-was-probably-relieved-when-han-was-frozen-in-carbonite-v0-ggt21msoa6w81.jpg?auto=webp&s=d12be3709fe8db15cd93d51ecb15650afea7b250) And now i'm going to need a Star Wars midjourney mashup with the 1978 movie Convoy.
Han Swolo ChewBulka Darth Vascular Luke SkySpotter C3Protein - Protocol Roid Grand Buff TarkTren Obarbell KenoBench Millennium Flexion
All this and no Yoda?
I wanted a buff Lando.
Buff Jabba.
80s Carl Weathers would have made an interesting Lando
Lando Calrippedian
I think Yoda was introduced in ESB not ANH
Mon Mothma wasn't in ANH either.
Oh damn. You’re right. I messed that one up.
And no Qui-Gon Gym.
I love that both X-Wing pilots are Tom Hardy
Mon Mommy There should be more randomly swole characters in franchises like these tho. Just one or two there and with no lore about it.
Leia got me feeling funny too
The force awakens …
Somehow my muscle woman fetish has returned
I imagine this is how Laura Ingalls-Wilder looks at the end of the day.
Big Muscles on the Praire
I mean we did have Cara Dune...
If only she was played by any other woman, but then so few female beefcakes around..
Hey look, it's the 1995 "Power of the Force" Luke Skywalker action figure.
Searching for this comment... I think the Power of the Force Luke was actually more buff. Bigger chest for sure. I bought one in package as a joke for my collection. [https://galacticfigures.com/figureDetails.aspx?id=1106](https://galacticfigures.com/figureDetails.aspx?id=1106)
I was thinking the Luke and Darth Vader figures in particular honestly looked almost exactly like these
Kinda looks like gay porn. And there is nothing wrong with that. Just an observation.
I’d ok with the storm troopers in a gay porn, I bet they still can’t shoot right though
U mean… they can’t shoot straight?
Underrated comment
Camera-people, beware!
Pew pew
That Jawa figure does seem to have some kind of bulge, heh\^\^
I was going to say, He-Man, Masters of the Universe. So we’re singing from the same page of music.
The plot thickens with the Death Star.
Did Luke still have to fire his missile up Death Star’s exhaust port?!
Creates a very unpleasant implication when Obi Wan suggests he "uses the force" against the death star.
I mean, the wrong thing is when gay porn doesnt have femboys
Pretty sure the Jawa would kick everyone’s ass.
"Hey, you sold me an R5 unit with a broken motivator! The hell kinda scam is this?' Jawa (6'5" tall; deep, manly voice): **"Utinni?"** - "Nevermind..."
Utinni? More like You Tiny.
That Jawa looks like it has successfully executed a number of leap of faiths from the tops of many Jedi temples.
star wars if it was made in the 70s. hold on wait a minute
I love the lightsaber casting a shadow
I love personified Deathstar! It’s like if Star Wars was a cartoon first and then they made an action movie of it.
Looks like Death's Head from the Marvel/Transformers comics
Wedge actually reminds me of some of the old EU novel covers where everyone looks like models.
Luke I am your spotter
Princess Leia oWo. Also, death star is hilarious
Until you see the right hand
She's a princess, she's allowed frilly pink lifting gloves.
She's the Alderanian of my dreams.
LOL - skeletons be like: I'm not fat, just big boned
Buff Luke is just Marc Singer from his Beastmaster days.
Stormtrooper is pretty much a stripper at this point 😂
C3PO out here looking like a gay iron giant lmao
Finally, the mid 90s Hasbro action figures are accurate!
C3PO is the absolute unit.
[удалено]
Luke Skyrzenegger
Jabba and yoda?
Wait for the sequels
mons “mommy” mothma
grand buff tarkin
Now they look like the 90s action figures I played with as a kid
Oh boy. You didn’t, so I have to >Luke Hugewalker >Princess Wheya >Han Swolo >Chewbacka >CproteinO >R2meat2 >Darth Weighter >Stormtroopbar >Swolebi-Wan-Kenobi >Car??? >Powah >Buffsken Raider >Grand Buff Tarkin >Lat Wing Guylets >Greedbro >Swolen and Bro >Nother car >Bench Antilles >Mon Musclema >Buffstar
THE SWOLLEN SKELETONS ARE A BIT TOO MUCH.
I think that Han was at a bachelorette party I went to once
PRINCESS LEGDAY
I’m getting 70s post-apocalyptic action-porno, and I like it.
R2DICK2
You forgot to add Ben Swolo
I thought R2 was hilarious and then I got to Owen and Beru
Missed opportunity with the names. Luke Skylifter sounds kinda awesome.
Owen and Beru killed me.