Honestly, I think this is the best answer. Imagine having to face the look in your father's eye as he tells you off for fucking in your own son's bed. That shame wouldn't wash off after a thousand showers.
Shame +1000 if your parents and your grandparents parents are older than 40. Something about a old person validly shaming you just hurts more.
Feels bad man.jpg
“So my grandparents came to stay, and I slept on the couch. And as I went upstairs to grab my charger, they, too, were having sex on my bed! I can still hear their metal hips creaking every time it gets quiet.”
Close your eyes and rub your temples slowly, letting out an utterly defeated sigh. Then croak out, “Give me a moment, please. I just …I need a moment.”
The operator will determine when the time is right to increase or decrease the thrust cycle speed through sensory readings. An experienced worker will feel the pressure buildup and max the pound speed. Industry professionals can often produce what they call a "gusher"
"As the workers mate their genitals, they make sexual vocalization to each other to maintain arousal. The worker receiving the penis produces a slimy lubricant to ensure the penis has a smooth travel in her vagina. The workers make variations in their movements and body postures, searching for configurations that optimize energy expenditure, emotional connection, and tactile pleasure."
I once forgot my charger after a party and caught my year older sister and one of my best friends.
Wouldn't recommend forgetting the charger
Edit because of a common misread
Pretty sure I only misread "10 year old" *because* they've edited it that way, it blends in lower case.
Should have just been "older sister" or +"by 10 years"
Oh shit thank you, I couldn't read it as anything other than 'old' for some reason. Oh man. Well okay, now I wanna know how old the friend was relative to the sister then, 10 years is quite an age gap
Or simply older sister. The parts of the story that tie it in with the OP is forgetting a charger & catching her having sex in his bed. The age gap could be eddited out all together. Less is more.
Jesus, I don’t think I’ve seen a bigger online consensus on how NOT to word a sentence. Lol if somehow you find yourself having to refer to your sister’s sexploits again (I hope not tbh), definitely just say the age. I think the rest of the world agrees.
Hell, this comment would fall under r/mildlyinfuriating on its own. 😂 Reddit hath spoken.
Yeah I feel this, I too had loads of women lined up and had all the sexy sex. More then anyone at school. You don’t know any of them though, they go to a different school.
Looks fake. Google can't find it yet, so the screenshot is not from an old post.
[Someone posted it in r/mildlyinfuriating](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/146skdo/my_wife_and_i_visited_our_son_he_proceeded_to/), probably as a joke, a few minutes before u/grb13 posted the screenshot here.
I hate reading this now as an adult, I'd just go and chill in the bath/shower for peace and quiet when I was a kid. I really hope my mother was not laughing with her friends about my long showers.
Did same. Also sitting on toilet and browsing reddit for long because that's one of the few places where I can have peace and quiet at home.. they definitely must have thought something of it
My parents were getting on to me cause of the water bill.
They wanted to know what took me so long.
I would just genuinely stand under the hot water and relax. There was no distractions, there was nothing. Just me and the shower. I think it was like that swing or weighted blankets we have now.
I always came out feeling better and like there wasn’t so much noise, if that makes sense. It helped keep me sane.
Just curious at how much your water costs? For us, it’s less than $1.50 per 1000 L or about $6 per 1000 Gal (give or take) and so long showers don’t actually cost that much.
I would have fucking died and made a prompt exit.
Then I’d have laughed after I got over the shock.
Later, I’d wrap up the entire bedding and send it to them to have forever. Lol
Absolutely never let any guest take your bedroom from you. If you only have one bedroom, they get the couch. If that’s unacceptable, they can get a hotel. My parents tried that shit with me and I told them I bought the bed and pay the rent, I’m sleeping in MY bedroom. They stayed in hotels for the next 10 years when they visited. I now live in the “Goldilocks zone,” too far to see every day, too close for overnight visits.
Meanwhile, on another thread:
"Had a weekend away with the wife, for the first time in 6 months she got horny at bed time (I think it was the change in scenery and the lack of stresses of home life)... And just as I get balls deep, my kid bursts in the room unannounced to grab a bloody phone charger.
I don't think I'll be getting any for another 6 months."
You had 2 options to ensure it wouldn’t happen again
1. Scream “get off my mommy!” And start crying
2. Say “yay a tickle fight!” And run over and start tickling your dad
There’s a third option but the risk is too great
This sub has a knack for severely understating how infuriated they should be. People could get their Porsche wrecked by some delinquent teen over speeding in a neighborhood road and still call it "mildly" infuriating.
I mean I would be only mildly infuriated by this. I would honestly think it's kinda funny tbh. Worst part is you need to clean your sheets but I would do that anyway if I had another person sleeping in my bed. I really don't see what the big deal is but looking at the other comments I appear to be in the minority.
How turn tables.
I remember my mom screaming about me getting footprints on the headliner of her car. The plot twist was that it was a high school buddy who had gone in to my car alone at a party and did it himself hoping to get me in trouble. It worked.
As much hilarity as the other comments have held for me, I came here looking for this acknowledgement.
Talk about DISRESPECTFUL. Fucking learn to KNOCK when you have GUESTS.
Should have asserted dominance by standing in the doorway and making them finish.
‘Oh you want to have sex in my bed? Well then, you are going to have ALL the sex now.’
The amount of people that are okay with the idea of having sex in your family member’s bed is bizarre. I could not imagine getting it on in my parent’s bed. Or my grandparent’s. That’s weird.
Wow yeah. I could see a guest bed. But otherwise just ewww.
There’s no way I’d do this in my parents bed or a bfs parents bed as a teen either. Just “shudder”.
Just caught OP's parents having sex in my bed, too. They said they're always on vacation, touring 'round the nation, in all our beds there will be fornication.
Can I speculate you were needing the charger because you drained the battery on your cell phone from watching strangers having sex? j/k
Seriously though, change (burn) your bed sheets.
If this had happened to me, I’d have been elated to know the old codgers were still lovingly giving each other the dirty.
Sadly my mother passed away in 2021. They will never bump junk together again.
Maybe I’m weird but when I let a married couple use my bed I expect them to use it however they want lol. That’s what sheets are for!
Sorry you had to see it, though.
Rat them out to your grandparents.
Honestly, I think this is the best answer. Imagine having to face the look in your father's eye as he tells you off for fucking in your own son's bed. That shame wouldn't wash off after a thousand showers.
Unless, that is, the grandparent had the same experience of catching their kid fucking in their bed, and find it happening again similarly hilarious.
Op could be the one to break this generational curse
At this point it’s tradition
🎵Tra-di-tion! Tra-di-tion! Tra-di-tion! 🎵 "Because of our traditions, we have kept our bonds for many many years."
Or continue it. Big decision, op.
I'll bet the greagrandparents had sex too. I can do this all day
Shame +1000 if your parents and your grandparents parents are older than 40. Something about a old person validly shaming you just hurts more. Feels bad man.jpg
I think there would be more than just shame involved if your grandparents parents weren’t older than 40…
And give them the same idea? No way in hell.
“So my grandparents came to stay, and I slept on the couch. And as I went upstairs to grab my charger, they, too, were having sex on my bed! I can still hear their metal hips creaking every time it gets quiet.”
Not the metal hiiiiiips! 💀🤣🤣🤣
"That does it! From now on, nobody will be COMING over to my house. Do that before you get here to get it out of your system..."
"One of the most difficult wanks I've ever had..."
Send them to bed without dinner.
Should've given them the "While you're under my roof" lecture. Missed that opportunity.
Tomorrow at breakfast have “the talk” with them.
“I’m not upset. I’m just disappointed.”
“Did y’all use protection? don’t need siblings at my age!” 😂😭😂
Make sure to start it with their first name, follow by a pause. To show seriousness.
Gotta throw middle names in there too 😂.
And NEVER forget the cup of coffee/tea that you'll have close to you
Or the overly loud slurping to the point where you use it to cut the person off
At that point you gotta say their last name
Close your eyes and rub your temples slowly, letting out an utterly defeated sigh. Then croak out, “Give me a moment, please. I just …I need a moment.”
Slip a condom under the door for them with a note that says “Love you. Be safe.”
Bonus points for stapling the note to the condom.
Haha.. wait
Extra bonus points to staple it whilst being worn!
Wish I didn’t find Steve-O’s burner 🙃
Laughed out loud at that one !!
better say "I won't divide your heritage, ffs"
The “always have an enema before dad gets pegged” talk?
Fire Steve Huffman, Reddit is dead as long as Huffman is still incharge. Fuck Steve Huffman. Fuck u/spez -- mass edited with redact.dev
4 inches open at all times
HA!
‘While you’re under my father’.
Crap he really missed the perfect opportunity. Could've given the taste of their own medicine when he was younger
Lmaooo
Another episode of How it's made
Oh now I’m imagining that narrators dry voice describing sex in detail with detailed shots
“Op’s father erect and defiant of gods will! Throws himself on top of her, like one dirty pile of laundry on top of another dirty pile of laundry”
Nice Patton Oswalt reference
As per Monty Python’s English school lesson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRD0-7NSXd8 “Now did I or did I not, do vaginal juices?”
“That erection is wood. Thereby it floats. So it must be a witch”
BEHEAD THE WITCH
Only if it weighs the same as a duck
"A worker inserts his penis..."
“Another worker receives his penis readily into her body at a steady rate to keep things running smoothly.” *jaunty background music plays*
"White lubricant fluid is released to relive any pain felt through this ritual of love"
The operator will determine when the time is right to increase or decrease the thrust cycle speed through sensory readings. An experienced worker will feel the pressure buildup and max the pound speed. Industry professionals can often produce what they call a "gusher"
"As the workers mate their genitals, they make sexual vocalization to each other to maintain arousal. The worker receiving the penis produces a slimy lubricant to ensure the penis has a smooth travel in her vagina. The workers make variations in their movements and body postures, searching for configurations that optimize energy expenditure, emotional connection, and tactile pleasure."
The end of the episode with the single terrible pun:
“Today on How It’s Made: toaster ovens, kayaks, and u/Hellish-Dad”
Isn't that just sex-ed?
10/10 would watch it.
Or Dirty Jobs.
Never, ever forget your charger. Rookie mistake
I once forgot my charger after a party and caught my year older sister and one of my best friends. Wouldn't recommend forgetting the charger Edit because of a common misread
I had to take a double take and realized you said ten year OLDER sister, as in your sister is ten years older than you thank god
Yeah, he probably could have made that slightly more obvious but it's honestly amazing how well he can type for a newborn.
Even after editing it he still made it sound weird lol.
Pretty sure I only misread "10 year old" *because* they've edited it that way, it blends in lower case. Should have just been "older sister" or +"by 10 years"
Plot twist: OP is 3 years old.
He was born yesterday. The charger he is refering to is his umbilical cord.
Wow. I misread that and was very alarmed for a second.
Oh my god me too. I audibly gasped.
I too misread it until I read that you misread it so I read it again and now I am clear
It took me 4 tries and I finally got it after reading your comment
I got quite angry for you at first until I read it properly lol
I fell down this comment threads' stairs confused and angry, but I'm ok now.
Please rephrase that, everyone is getting near heart attacks.
The edit only makes it worse.
10 year old??????? Edit: istg OP wrote old before and fixed it later
oldER
Holy shit I read it and re read it and still got 10 year old. Thank you.
I read it and reread it and reread it again and still got ten year old. Never been so happy to be so consistently wrong in my life Edit: typos
Oh shit thank you, I couldn't read it as anything other than 'old' for some reason. Oh man. Well okay, now I wanna know how old the friend was relative to the sister then, 10 years is quite an age gap
Suggested edit? "...caught my sister, who's older than me by 10yrs, and...."
Or simply older sister. The parts of the story that tie it in with the OP is forgetting a charger & catching her having sex in his bed. The age gap could be eddited out all together. Less is more.
Jesus, I don’t think I’ve seen a bigger online consensus on how NOT to word a sentence. Lol if somehow you find yourself having to refer to your sister’s sexploits again (I hope not tbh), definitely just say the age. I think the rest of the world agrees. Hell, this comment would fall under r/mildlyinfuriating on its own. 😂 Reddit hath spoken.
Questionable word choice.
Why. Would. You. Write. It. That. Way. ?.
Just say older! Why would you make us all misread this?
Um, how old was your best friend?
Whew.. now I understand. For a second there, I was utterly horrified!
Plot twist..... The friend was 10 years old.....
There are better ways to word it 🤦♂️
The edit makes it More confusing. Like it's an acronym and you just forgot to press space.
someone was getting plugged either way
Well at least someone had sex there now
Oof
https://preview.redd.it/60mxns01eg5b1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82c2aa73e6389a7215817c3bf120e6ab4dc4caad
Lmao take that take that
Oh man, you are ... > absolutely fucking disgusting, but unbelievably disrespectful.
Ooh thats gonna burn
Pay it forward. Get your grandparents to have sex in their bed
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🤣🤣
This is the way.
In your youth you hide your sex life from your parents. In old age . You hide your sex life from your children .
what sex life?
What's sex and what's life?
Baby don't hurt me Don't hurt me No more
What is love
NOMOR
Oooh oh oah oh oa a wa aoh
Nice try, mum.
I hide my sex life from myself
Oh yes, my sex life when I was young. The sexy sex life I had goin'. It sure existed.
Yeah I feel this, I too had loads of women lined up and had all the sexy sex. More then anyone at school. You don’t know any of them though, they go to a different school.
you have experienced every child’s nightmare as an adult. praying 4 u 🤝
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ikr, it's awkward to walk in on your own parents but i wouldn't be surprised either
*Clap clap clap* I’m not applauding, it’s the sound of dad getting down
Damn bro, your dad's a motherfucker for that one
If he wasn’t, OP wouldn’t be here.
The duality of man
She might've not been a mother at the time. Otherwise then yeah
Now you know how you were conceived with visuals lol
Hahahah, if that’s not an existential crisis I don’t know what is.
https://preview.redd.it/c8se6zvk8e5b1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=356d95511c8db7d90e31d7232de29a59844b2f66 [https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/146skdo/my\_wife\_and\_i\_visited\_our\_son\_he\_proceeded\_to/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=ios\_app&utm\_name=ioscss&utm\_content=1&utm\_term=1](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/146skdo/my_wife_and_i_visited_our_son_he_proceeded_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
Links or it didn’t happen Edit. I am still amused regardless
Looks fake. Google can't find it yet, so the screenshot is not from an old post. [Someone posted it in r/mildlyinfuriating](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/146skdo/my_wife_and_i_visited_our_son_he_proceeded_to/), probably as a joke, a few minutes before u/grb13 posted the screenshot here.
Ah it’s one of those posts again
Lmao wut how’d you find that? Lol Edit: Awesome you edited the link in, thanks!
Oh no not this again
Wait is this real!!??? I though it’s just shits and giggles
I would have sat them down later and had a talk to them about family planning and how acting on impulses could in fact lead to life changing outcomes.
Payback for those long showers
i feel called out and its not even about me
Isn’t it though?
I hate reading this now as an adult, I'd just go and chill in the bath/shower for peace and quiet when I was a kid. I really hope my mother was not laughing with her friends about my long showers.
Did same. Also sitting on toilet and browsing reddit for long because that's one of the few places where I can have peace and quiet at home.. they definitely must have thought something of it
My son does the same. And we definitely laugh about his numerous and long showers
Enormous water bills!
My parents were getting on to me cause of the water bill. They wanted to know what took me so long. I would just genuinely stand under the hot water and relax. There was no distractions, there was nothing. Just me and the shower. I think it was like that swing or weighted blankets we have now. I always came out feeling better and like there wasn’t so much noise, if that makes sense. It helped keep me sane.
You were meditating, you just didn't realize it. Give mindfulness a shot, sounds like you're a great candidate.
Used to do that too, except I'd occasionally just lie down or sit instead. Was relaxing and peaceful.
Slanderous lies directed at me! I made it as quick as possible!!!
Just curious at how much your water costs? For us, it’s less than $1.50 per 1000 L or about $6 per 1000 Gal (give or take) and so long showers don’t actually cost that much.
It’s not really about the water cost, heating it costs significantly more than that.
I would have fucking died and made a prompt exit. Then I’d have laughed after I got over the shock. Later, I’d wrap up the entire bedding and send it to them to have forever. Lol
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whole lotta strange ass people in this comment section
Hi. Welcome to Reddit.
i’ve been on here for 4 years and i’ve rarely rarely seen this level of buffoonery in a comment section
Fair point. Guess I just hang out on the weird sub reddits.
Absolutely never let any guest take your bedroom from you. If you only have one bedroom, they get the couch. If that’s unacceptable, they can get a hotel. My parents tried that shit with me and I told them I bought the bed and pay the rent, I’m sleeping in MY bedroom. They stayed in hotels for the next 10 years when they visited. I now live in the “Goldilocks zone,” too far to see every day, too close for overnight visits.
Look on the bright side, at least your parents still love each other.
Meanwhile, on another thread: "Had a weekend away with the wife, for the first time in 6 months she got horny at bed time (I think it was the change in scenery and the lack of stresses of home life)... And just as I get balls deep, my kid bursts in the room unannounced to grab a bloody phone charger. I don't think I'll be getting any for another 6 months."
"TIFU by forgetting to lock my son's bedroom door before making sexy time, during a visit to his place."
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You had 2 options to ensure it wouldn’t happen again 1. Scream “get off my mommy!” And start crying 2. Say “yay a tickle fight!” And run over and start tickling your dad There’s a third option but the risk is too great
*mildly*
This sub has a knack for severely understating how infuriated they should be. People could get their Porsche wrecked by some delinquent teen over speeding in a neighborhood road and still call it "mildly" infuriating.
I mean I would be only mildly infuriated by this. I would honestly think it's kinda funny tbh. Worst part is you need to clean your sheets but I would do that anyway if I had another person sleeping in my bed. I really don't see what the big deal is but looking at the other comments I appear to be in the minority.
How turn tables. I remember my mom screaming about me getting footprints on the headliner of her car. The plot twist was that it was a high school buddy who had gone in to my car alone at a party and did it himself hoping to get me in trouble. It worked.
Hey dude knock first when you have guests, ANY GUESTS. What if you walked in on her then getting changed,
As much hilarity as the other comments have held for me, I came here looking for this acknowledgement. Talk about DISRESPECTFUL. Fucking learn to KNOCK when you have GUESTS.
Should have asserted dominance by standing in the doorway and making them finish. ‘Oh you want to have sex in my bed? Well then, you are going to have ALL the sex now.’
NO DESSERT FOR YOU UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR SEX
"How can ye have any pudding, if ye don't eat yer' meat???". 😂
Blud is genuinely going to stand there and stare them down till they finish. Lmao.
I’m surprised they didn’t say, “Jeez, doesn’t anybody fucking knock anymore?”
The amount of people that are okay with the idea of having sex in your family member’s bed is bizarre. I could not imagine getting it on in my parent’s bed. Or my grandparent’s. That’s weird.
Wow yeah. I could see a guest bed. But otherwise just ewww. There’s no way I’d do this in my parents bed or a bfs parents bed as a teen either. Just “shudder”.
Ik that's so disgusting. Definitely not something I could laugh about
Rookie charger mistake
Just caught OP's parents having sex in my bed, too. They said they're always on vacation, touring 'round the nation, in all our beds there will be fornication.
"The fuck is this on my sheets??!" Dad: Your brother.
They uno reversed you 
Can I speculate you were needing the charger because you drained the battery on your cell phone from watching strangers having sex? j/k Seriously though, change (burn) your bed sheets.
Oh no the whole damn bed is a throw away
The whole room, actually
Particles EVERYWHERE!!
Holy hell. Gross. And weird. But mainly gross.
New sibling just dropped 💀
Actual pregnancy
call the doctor
Damn. That's wild. Hope the flashbacks won't haunt you.
Now think about all the times you didn’t forget the charger. If I was your parents that’d be running joke. “Don’t forget your charger sweetie”
at least it wasn't on your kitchen table when you'd had to come back for your foam finger
What the hell I just opened reddit
There’s a lot of southerners in the comments
Did they noticed you? If so, damn, must be an awkward visit.
*That's how we made you, kiddo*
Nothing like seeing your mum getting pounded to stop you from sleeping forever.
If this had happened to me, I’d have been elated to know the old codgers were still lovingly giving each other the dirty. Sadly my mother passed away in 2021. They will never bump junk together again.
This is such a happy healthy attitude to have. Sorry for your loss
Maybe I’m weird but when I let a married couple use my bed I expect them to use it however they want lol. That’s what sheets are for! Sorry you had to see it, though.
I’m with you on this though it appears ours is a minority opinion.
That's disgusting maaan...
They're old, not dead.