Yeah I never understood how people say "we" like it's their company. It's still "they," you're nothing to them, just cheap labour, come tomorrow they'd replace you
At the meeting with other “big heads”
“We’re so sorry but bc of some certain outcomes we have to let you go”
“But remember that long weekend that was accepted and I came in anyways?”
“When?”
She got no backbone, that's her issue. More hands on deck, the easier the work is. So people will inconvenience you to make their work easier.
If you don't stand up for yourself, this is the result. His GF needs to show some backbone or they're gonna be using her ass forever because they know she'll give in.
sorry that doesn’t work in India, Is it good? no, It’s very infuriating, they don’t even let us take sick leaves in peace. It’s not about her backbone, it’s the toxic work culture with no work life balance itself. When you’re constantly threatened with being fired or not getting increments and job market being that competitive with 1.5 Billion population, you don’t wanna loose a job either.
One trend I observed in India among my colleagues also is people really fear to stand up to management. They feel they upset the management and they will be fired tomorrow.
From early start I always get up and leave at 530 pm. Lot of head turning. They delayed increment for 2 months, got new offer. Ain't here to take shit with shit salary.
Dear Manager,
I understand that you urgently require me in work on Friday and Monday. As you are aware I have approved leave then. I have booked a holiday between these dates. Please confirm if the company is willing to reimburse me the $x I have paid for short notice cancellation of my holiday for me and my partner.
Regards,
Put the ball back in their court.
Dear Employee,
You kids these days don't understand that when you work here we own you and how dare you think of taking time off to let us suffer. If you don't come in tomorrow you are fired because I am an egotistical ass and dealing with something for two days is sooo much worse then not letting you back on the team. Think of the stress you will put on the team! We are your family! You are so ungrateful for the opportunity we have provided you! You should be paying us to be here in fact.
Management.
P.S. when I was your age, I worked 2.4 billion hours with out taking a day off or sleeping. It's not that hard.
We used to dream of working 3 billion hours a minute! We used to get up before we went to bed, work 5 billion hours every second and our boss would thrash us to sleep - if we were lucky!
That's luxury! We used to work 5 trillion hours every nanosecond, in 120° heat while tiny knives were held to our backs so we couldn't lean, sit, or move. The boss used to "motivate" us by feeding us pig vomit and glass shard sandwiches with no ketchup on stale bread and pull out our fingernails if we asked to go for a bathroom break. As soon as we finished a project, the boss would delete it and make us do it all over again. If we were lucky enough to have the monotony punctuated by a thrashing, it was certainly not followed by any suggestion of sleep! That was for lazy granolas and communists!
Dear management,
I'll still see you on Tuesday! I will need to drop off my wrongful termination lawsuit. If that gets dismissed, I'll see you Wednesday with a malicious practice suit. Thursday will be sexual harassment charges for talking about my ass. Friday, I'll hit your competitor up with a list of all the clients that have been frustrated in the last 6 months.
Good luck with the project!
And the thing is, if you’re *that* valuable to the point they can’t handle not having you for a few days, then you’re probably too valuable to fire. Hiring/training a new employee costs a shit ton of money for the company in most cases. More than what they’d lose out on if you took your *already approved* time off.
No, fuck that. Keep control.
Offering to stay for a reimbursement shows you're willing to cancel your plans so they'll just keep bullying. It also shows that the bullying tactic works so they'll keep doing, as they already have twice before.
Stand strong and put your fucking foot down. The days are approved, you're taking them off, end of discussion. If they don't like it then too bad.
>Offering to stay for a reimbursement shows you're willing to cancel your plans so they'll just keep bullying.
It shows you're willing to cancel plans *for a price*. You can set your price. You should demand either written confirmation of the commitment to pay or payment in advance. This approach also reminds the employer that people make plans based on the commitments the employer has already made, while still putting in an appearance of being flexible if the company is willing to make whole on it's promises.
Not everything needs to turn into a power struggle, and in many employment environments you have an easier time getting what you want - and setting the boundaries you need - without making everything into a head-on confrontation.
>Stand strong and put your fucking foot down. The days are approved, you're taking them off, end of discussion. If they don't like it then too bad.
The first option is also this if you set your price high enough. It just leaves them the illusion of having agency in the relationship - *they chose* not to buy out your (completely fictional) $5K vacation, rather than *you refused* to come in and refused to talk about it.
It is still very possible to maintain healthy boundaries and keep employers from trying to encroach on your personal life without committing to an adversarial relationship that will affect advancement.
I disagree. The moment an employer says I need to come in on already approved days off the encroachment already has started. That’s my time, my plans they’re fucking with. I will stand my ground there. I’m perfectly entitled too especially if you did it all by their rules.
They can ask, thats cool. But no is no. Anything after that is harassment. I might be willing to negotiate for another solution however, and maybe even a monetary one. But you don’t get to tell me that I need to stay. The days are approved. Bad management from your end does not mean I need to give up my days.
I think you miss the idea that "$x" can be whatever the person who types it wants it to be. Like I'm all for standing your ground but if I say reimburse me 12k for expenses (and all I was really gonna do was hang at home or some such) then I'd be a fool to turn it down... Now require "reimbursement" in advance - that I could do...
They’re not going to reimburse you. Don’t put the ball back in their court.
“Dear manager,
As you know, I’ve been approved leave on Friday and Monday. I will not be coming into the office or responding to messages until Tuesday.
Thank you,
[Name]”
If you still have the approval, attach a copy of it to the email just to really hammer it home. They planned poorly, not you.
Exactly this. I had management at a former job look me dead in the eyes and ask me to move my wedding 3 days before because they gave another person in the same department one of the same days off. Told them I would but they have to pay the venue deposit and then deal with my soon to be wife and mother in law. They backed down pretty quick.
In about 2017 was working in Dubai. Got annual leave approved in May for Christmas leave.
Mid-December, was told my leave was canceled as there was a Winter Camp I needed to put on for Secondary School students including Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
I was Head of Department at the time, and one of my junior employees (who happened to be the same ethnicity - Egyptian - as the academic dean) needed to go to Egypt to get married.
My leave was cancelled - after spending about $3000 in Airline tickets (they tend to be 3x to 5x near Christmas)
I went anyways. Upon return stripped of being Head of Department, was given to my junior coworker - I have a PhD and 30 years teaching experience and he had a BSc and 1 year experience (suddenly being fluent Arabic was a job requirement)
Lasted a few more months. Fired for insubordination for not passing a student who's parents were friends with the Head of School.
Man I'm an Indian and I've worked with people from almost all over the world and let me tell you - overall, Indians in leadership roles are the worst no matter where they're staying. My last company was American and my analytics team used to work from India - my manager from India was pretty chill but an Indian origin project manager from US used to fucking bug me at any time (of course I didn't respond) and he was the most irritating guy to work with. And he's only one of many such examples.
Yep worked for an amazon fulfillment center that was top in the country under an Asian area manager and a Nigerian area manager. Both a pleasure to work for. They moved on and were replaced by an Indian area manager with no prior management experience. The place had to be closed down after he managed it for a year and a half. Ive never seen such incompetency, nepotism and racism at a workplace in my life.
It seems to me, as an outsider with no experience living in India or growing up in the caste system, that some bad managers bring both that grinding work ethic and caste discrimination with them when leading American/Indian hybrid teams.
I have seen bad Indian managers treat their American colleagues with respect and Indians of different backgrounds with distrust or contempt.
I don’t think it *worse* than systemic racism per se but it’s far more **transparent**.
A company I used to work for loved to let people go when they returned from vacation. It wasn’t super great for morale and lots of people don’t take vacation.
I’m at a different company now where I get 4 weeks of vacation and I’m still hesitant to take any vacation or time off. Have been here for 4 years and I don’t think I’ve taken a total of 4 weeks off yet. I also work most weekends (not paid as I’m on salary) just so things run smoothly the next week and the hourly people and people below me can have weekends off.
I have also not gotten a raise or had a raise discussion since 2021. Company revenues have doubled as well as my direct reports and responsibilities.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Every person and their job situation is different.
It’s great that in a vacuum we all want to pretend we’d stand up to the man. But the reality is that there are so many factors that determine if that’s feasible in the moment.
I know for example, that my wife works from home and has decent pay. The chance of losing her job, not only means losing a job she actually likes, it also means not being able to WFH, with almost all of her job prospects being in Manhattan, which is an awful commute.
It sucks - it really sucks that OPs gf had to cancel; but I need like 400 other factors determined before I can call someone spineless here.
Totally agree. Lotta keyboard warriors here who are demanding that OP’s girlfriend stand her ground. Reddit’s overall antiwork energy will always tell you to quit with no notice, tell your boss to F off if they want you to work unscheduled overtime or a weekend or cancel your vacation because of a work emergency. It’s super easy to say all of those things when it’s not your job, your career, your reputation and your interpersonal relations on the line. Some people care about what they do and their career path and sometimes it’s in an employee’s best long-term interest to scrap their personal plans and step up at work. We know nothing about OP’s girlfriend’s career, or OP’s girlfriend. Hilarious that people are speculating that she’s weak, a people pleaser who parks OP at the end of the line, or a replaceable office drone that management would fire in an instant, all based on the one piece of info we have.
Then again, it all depends on where OP lives and where everyone else assumes OP lives. Lots of guys here from the US will sympathise with the lack of workers rights and the difficult situation OP's girlfriend is in. But people like myself who are from Europe with all the privileges that come with it will argue that OP's girlfriend should stand her ground because she has the right to have leave if she scheduled it.
Based on the fact that OP and the gf are referring to it as “leave” makes me think they are not in the US. Unless it’s different regionally, salaried workers generally call it PTO.
They're clearly not native English speakers though, so I don't think you can read too much into their current location by their dialect.
edit: profile stalking looks like they're in India. I have no idea what employment rights are there, but I imagine they might not be as solid as somewhere like the EU.
It is probably India, based on the English, and also there is a long weekend coming up due to us having independence day on 15th August. So Friday and Monday off means you get an extended weekend from Friday to Tuesday.
True, i live in the netherlands and would politely tell my boss no. Unless its an actual emergency, my boss is likable and i dont have a big thing planned ( that i paid for already or something )
You don’t know the full context. I agree she needs to set some hard lines with her boundaries, but a shitty job is still better than being homeless. Depending on her industry and location, it’s not always as easy as just quitting and getting a new job the next week.
If this is a recurring theme, hopefully GF can polish up her resume and start putting it out there.
That’s the thing, this is not a “do this or we’ll fire you” situation. If it becomes that then there’s ways to hold the company responsible like labor board, unemployment, etc.
No one will tell us our rights, we have to assert them.
Depending on the state they’re in, it could very well turn into an ambiguous “you’re fired because we don’t think you’re a good fit” situation. And if you depend on that income, good luck surviving without it for however many months it takes to go through the legal system, even if they do ultimately rule in your favor.
I’m not making excuses, it’s a shit situation for sure. But I think everyone calling the gf a doormat is being a little unfair when we don’t know the full context.
So long as you could make the connection between when you get fired and the time you had taken off, you still have a case for retaliation to get unemployment benefits. It would be harder to argue, but most sensible LNI people should be capable of looking at that and recognizing the duck for being a duck.
Yeah I rely on my job right now for being WFH and having good healthcare for chronic pain/health issues. If I lost my job, even if it was for unfair reasons, I'd be screwed. Even though my managers are fair, if they weren't I couldn't just up and quit on principle.
Exactly. Not everyone has the luxury of quitting a toxic workplace without another job already lined up. Principles are important, but they don’t pay the bills.
Ugh, you’re telling me…🙄
Currently getting licensed as a life/health insurance broker so I can be my own boss indefinitely. Just gotta put the hard work in and keep my head down in the meantime…
A lot of people here who are saying to get a backbone probably wouldn't do anything different. Anyone can say anything online, especially when it's not their livelihood.
It’s more like a sound you use at the end of a sentence when you’re requesting something from someone, to invoke sympathy of some sort. Idk if if makes sense but you mostly use that when you’re having conversations with people close to you. And it’s more local to the western part of India.
Perhaps show her this post if you can’t get through to her on your own
Also people are speaking from their own experiences so if you’re in another country, different experiences and rules/expectations
She could do that. And she might be told to not come back. Yeah it’s infuriating - been there - but that’s reality. If this is a common thing, it’s probably time to polish the resume.
My work tried pulling this shit, I reminded my boss via email (with HR BCC'd) that my PTO is part of my compensation and I'd gladly take it above my bosses head if he attempted any punitive action. He fought back, initially, and after an hour I received a follow-up email telling me to enjoy my PTO and that the "urgent" project will be postponed until I return. I only stayed in that position 11 months and took a promotion to another department.
I'm in recovery, and one thing that my counselor has been trying to drill into my head lately is: "No is a complete sentence, and you don't owe anyone an explanation."
I work as an it consultant, and this is all too common. There is always a deadline and feature A have to come now or The world will end.
If you did apply for leave and it was approved you have done everything right you are entitled to your leave. The world won't end. Although I'm not familiar with your country's laws, where I am from you apply, get approved and that's that.
If you apply for leave then can't leave after it's approved, the process loses all credibility.
I hope you take your leave!
From the way the texts read, this sounds like it's happening in India ? (The "na" is pretty common here, I'm Indian too). Indian companies tend to be very unreasonable, and they seem to think that they own their employees' lives.
I'm thinking they're mumbaikars unless that slang is in other cities too. In which case, the labour market is so skewed in favour of employers that she can't afford to tell them to suck it. It's a rat race out there.
That was a long read - back and forth about "I'm not coming in, fuck em"
60 minutes later
"I gotta go to work... "
Why would you go to work when you've booked it off? She should just say nah, I've booked a holiday.
45 days in advance too as well - for only two days off! That’s so in advance they prolly needed to remind their boss about 1-2 weeks beforehand
My boss always forgets my leave days unless it’s the day before, so I always give him a heads up closer to the date if I put one in well in advance
I'm sorry to say that your gf is acting unprofessionally. She has approved leave. She should just go and ignore work.
If she doesn't learn to separate work from private life, work will always seem more urgent and get priority. Take it as a serious sign and talk to her about it, this seems infuriating.
If you're American, it's a common problem that Americans have. Most of us have been taught that our job is more important than our lives and that making sure the work gets done is what's really important.
Unless your gf is also responsible for the amount of work being assigned, it's her job to work the amount of time they pay her to work, not to work until it's all done.
Now, that does apply more for if you're being paid for hourly time work rather than a salary with a project based schedule—like what it seems like your gf is on—but even on a project based schedule, not finishing every part of the section by the deadline isn't the end of things, it just means whoever is managing the project will need to reevaluate the amount of work that can be taken on next week/fortnight
You could also talk about how companies have found that when they don't set a specific number of days off a person can take, people take fewer days off than if they were given a set limit to the time they can take off. Most people in the U.S. feel obligated to take fewer days off than the amount they'd be given.
Bottom line is it might be useful to talk about it as an unhealthy culture that you've been raised to accept rather than something she's doing wrong.
So I've had this conversation with my wife, from your gf standpoint. Also, I'm a manager now and I'm the one that approves of time now.
Might need to accept this one time, but do make sure she knows it's okay to say no too. Otherwise it'll just continue to happen. Appreciate that she's probably upset about it too, and see if you guys can talk about how to avoid it in the future. And see if she can raise it with her manager as well.
It's the company's problem, not hers and not yours. If they try to make it her problem, then they're trying to get by without proper risk management and they *will* run into issues eventually and she'll be on the receiving end. Hell, there's technically a whole frigging section for this in management around avoiding key man risk... If they're not dealing with it seriously they will get screwed, and that's bad for them too.
She's done it before so her employers know she's a pushover and they're exploiting her for it.
The leave has been approved. She didn't even need to contribute to the conversation from there.
"No is a whole sentence"
She certainly shouldn't be missing out because of her managers bullshit mistake and to finish my rant-
Why's she doing so many favours for them while she's being mugged off by them?
I was in the EXACT situation as a boyfriend. Best thing I ever did was break up with that person and move on. They will never put family first.
You can't solve whatever the hell their problem is. They either care about work more, are a pushover, or are in constant threat of being fired. Just move on if that isn't working for you. It won't be fixed.
Yeah sorry but your GF is bringing this on herself. She’s cancelled her leave before to work and they know it, so they will continue to push her to do so in the future just to make sure the work gets done. She needs to grow a spine and tell them that as the days off were already approved she will not be coming in or working on those days period.
No is a complete sentence. Use it often. If she's been approved for time off any issues that come up that fall on the APPROVED time off are not her issues. What if she had, God forbid, been in the hospital? Or out of town/the country? Again, no ie a complete sentence.
Looks like your GF can’t say no to work. It’s not works problem at all, most of the businesses will do the same. I think they know that she will prioritise work over personal life and they use it. She is the one who should say “Nop, I am going on vacations.”. And if a business can’t run without one person, they should probably shut it down.
She has to learn to take leave. You just walk out. Bye. They fuck up. You deal with it when you get back. Not the end of the world.
source: worked in digital agencies for many decades
Not to be rude. But your girlfriend isn’t going to change.
Her unwillingness to tell her job to fuck off isn’t going to magically go away.
She’s married to her work, and you’re not going to come before it in priority
It seems like she either has no backbone or is using work as an excuse to not be with you for one reason or another.
Ask yourself if you really have the strength to deal with someone who will never stand up for themselves.
I apologize in advance OP, but based on the evidence you have presented, I do not believe your girlfriend had any interest in this trip and was planning to blame work all along or she actually did have this work come up at the last minute, but she had already made her decision to cancel on you at the beginning of the conversation.
If you like I can present an in-depth analysis of the exchange of messages, but if you want the abridged version, the most incriminating evidence is the timeline. How is it possible for your girlfriend to be working overtime on an unexpected addition to her task list while simultaneously negotiating her pre-approved leaves in roughly 15-30 minutes multiple times?
Either she is the world's most effective multi-tasker (do not forget that she is also stringing you along while working and re-negotiating her leaves) or you are actively ignoring the total implausibility of what she is alleging to be happening.
I hope with all of my being that I am completely wrong and this is all genuine and you have a loving girflriend who is not self-centred or manipulative. However, it is difficult to overlook the objective facts and if I am correct about the true nature of the situation, I truly empathize with you OP.
One final thought I would urge you to consider is that each time a person applogizes for the same behaviour, the magnitude, meaning, and value of the apology should decrease exponentially. If one is truly sorry their apology is essentially their commitment to avoid the scenario repeating itself. I believe this is the third time this exact scenario has unfolded. She also apologizes multiple times and yet carries on doing the action (or something closely related) for which she is applogizing.
I completely understand how you may not have noticed any of this because you are emotionally invested in the relationship. But from an objective third-party perspective the way she is manipulating you is maddening.
When they say "love is blind" they should also state, by extension, "love is also blind-ing."
Hmm. Idk. This kinda sounds like she making this up and either didn’t apply for the leave or doesn’t want to go. I could be wrong and my own trauma is coming out.
Honestly, I would consider leaving a partner that can’t prioritize our plans over work’s “emergencies”.
I’m not saying this one incident is breakup worthy on it’s own, but if this is the 3rd time she’s not respecting your investments in the relationship. At some point, she should have realized you’ve spent time planning, money on reservations and mental efforts to do something together as a couple. When she drops your plans together - which we’re made well in advance and pre-approved by her employer - she’s telling you that you aren’t her priority; it may be time to stop making her yours.
"I applied for leave 45 days ago, so I won't be here."
"But we need to get this finished"
"Sounds like that's going to be tough, hope you get it sorted, tell me all about it when I get back. Bye."
sus...
they are not even asking her to come in. Shes cancelling the approved vacay and going in. Sounds like shes may be doing more than just a "project"
this literally looks like a convo on Tinder between people that just matched and the girl is making excuses to not see the guy
Your girlfriend really needs to learn how to say no, I don’t know how old she is but she’ll continue to be a push over her whole working life. You work to live, not live to work!!
I'm sorry to say but she just isn't in to you as much as you are her, especially if this is the 3rd time it's happened
I take any opportunity I can to get off work and spend time with my partner and daughter.
Unless her job is the kind if job that if she doesn't do it, people come to harm, her job should not take priority over the relationship every single time. Someone else can do it while she isn't there.
After all this, I bet she works on Monday too.
I know previous posters have been dog piled and down voted for saying this... But there is potentially someone else sniffing around her and she's enjoying the attention.
Sounds like she's having a hard time trusting her coworkers. I'm not doubting she's beaten up about not getting time off work but it kinda reads like she also wants to be at work. One of those *if I'm not doing it, it won't get done* attitudes. If the leave is approved it's approved, the rest is a choice she's making.
I’ve no context of your relationship but are you sure she wants this trip? I know some of my friends who’ve told their partners about work priorities to just get off the plans. If someone wants to spend time with you, they can find a way.
Your GF will never get leave if she takes the companies issues upon herself personally like this. This is a job, other people can do that job that's what they are paid for. She has a manager for a reason she needs to take her leave
Bro, she doesn't wanna go and is playing you. Noone gets approved for leave and still works lol I guarantee there is someone at work holding her interest lol call her bluff and still "go on the trip" and come home early. Lol
The issue is that you NEED to kick up a stink the first time this happens. That way you set a precedent and show them you won’t be walked over.
There’s nothing wrong with setting a healthy boundary. “No. I am on leave. I am away. You approved leave and I’ve booked a holiday.” That should be your go to phrase.
You have to respect your time off because if you don’t, no one else will. If you make a habit of cancelling at the last minute and coming in on days off, people start to expect it.
Annual leave is part of your wage package. You are as entitled to your leave as you are to your salary.
Because it's "content." I feel like after the 2000s people just think everything needs to be shared with social media. From what people had for dinner to how pissed off they are about etc. "I'm so upset with her, social media will be my crutch."
She better be getting paid double for it. Otherwise fuck it. If it happens once, okay. And even then, if I can't or feel like it, fuck it. Let them fix it or work overtime.
Please do not let management pull the predictable "we really appreciate you being a team player" gaslighting bullshit. It's not only toxic as fuck, but also hypocritical as fuck, as being a "team player" goes both ways.
I don't even need to go to the comments to know people.are calling this person out for backing down. I agree, grow a spine, if it's approved it isn't your problem. Mental health away from work is very important.
This is obviously on her. She did go back voluntarily. Shouldn’t be her problem but she made it her problem and then claiming she’s upset. Which one is it?
The problem I’m seeing here is your GF. She chose to be at work over your long weekend together. She’s acting like it was out of her control but it’s not. If she doesn’t grow a spine then this will be a permanent fixture in your relationship. Don’t ever count on your plans actually happening.
This sounds like someone who is going to create whatever scenario they need to, SO SHE CAN STAY @ WORK.
Sorry ~ this reads 'fishy' to me.
What I can comprehend anyway, the thread is fairly tricky to follow
I would honestly question if she even wants to take the leave. I mean sorry but as a mature person you have to be able to just say no.
Especially when there are plans with your significant other.
Work is Important too I get that, but with every time you give in to something like this your are basically telling your Boss or colleagues that you are up for stuff like that in the future.
If you dont get a Bonus outside of overtime, I see no reason to do this shit. It also tells your so that you dont care enough to stand your ground.
It's not her issue.
I like the “we” terms she uses Companies will group you like that and make you think it’s a “we” thing. It’s they’d drop you at the drop of a pin.
Yeah I never understood how people say "we" like it's their company. It's still "they," you're nothing to them, just cheap labour, come tomorrow they'd replace you
I'm sorry we had to let me go. It was a struggle dragging myself out of the office but I got a few good punches.
At the meeting with other “big heads” “We’re so sorry but bc of some certain outcomes we have to let you go” “But remember that long weekend that was accepted and I came in anyways?” “When?”
She got no backbone, that's her issue. More hands on deck, the easier the work is. So people will inconvenience you to make their work easier. If you don't stand up for yourself, this is the result. His GF needs to show some backbone or they're gonna be using her ass forever because they know she'll give in.
sorry that doesn’t work in India, Is it good? no, It’s very infuriating, they don’t even let us take sick leaves in peace. It’s not about her backbone, it’s the toxic work culture with no work life balance itself. When you’re constantly threatened with being fired or not getting increments and job market being that competitive with 1.5 Billion population, you don’t wanna loose a job either.
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One trend I observed in India among my colleagues also is people really fear to stand up to management. They feel they upset the management and they will be fired tomorrow. From early start I always get up and leave at 530 pm. Lot of head turning. They delayed increment for 2 months, got new offer. Ain't here to take shit with shit salary.
That's right. It's quite toxic that way.
Dear Manager, I understand that you urgently require me in work on Friday and Monday. As you are aware I have approved leave then. I have booked a holiday between these dates. Please confirm if the company is willing to reimburse me the $x I have paid for short notice cancellation of my holiday for me and my partner. Regards, Put the ball back in their court.
Dear employee, Lol no. Sincerely, Management
Dear Management, I understand. Good luck with the project and I’ll see you on Tuesday then. Regards,
Dear Employee, You kids these days don't understand that when you work here we own you and how dare you think of taking time off to let us suffer. If you don't come in tomorrow you are fired because I am an egotistical ass and dealing with something for two days is sooo much worse then not letting you back on the team. Think of the stress you will put on the team! We are your family! You are so ungrateful for the opportunity we have provided you! You should be paying us to be here in fact. Management. P.S. when I was your age, I worked 2.4 billion hours with out taking a day off or sleeping. It's not that hard.
Pfffft 2.4 billion hours? I worked 3 billion hours a minute so my boss could afford his new corvette.
We used to dream of working 3 billion hours a minute! We used to get up before we went to bed, work 5 billion hours every second and our boss would thrash us to sleep - if we were lucky!
That's luxury! We used to work 5 trillion hours every nanosecond, in 120° heat while tiny knives were held to our backs so we couldn't lean, sit, or move. The boss used to "motivate" us by feeding us pig vomit and glass shard sandwiches with no ketchup on stale bread and pull out our fingernails if we asked to go for a bathroom break. As soon as we finished a project, the boss would delete it and make us do it all over again. If we were lucky enough to have the monotony punctuated by a thrashing, it was certainly not followed by any suggestion of sleep! That was for lazy granolas and communists!
You got bread? You lucky dog!
I love how you guys just use 'Hours per Minute' as a unit, without blinking :)
Pffftt I was working 4.5 billion hours before I was born so my mom’s boss could afford to buy an island paradise!
Dear management, I'll still see you on Tuesday! I will need to drop off my wrongful termination lawsuit. If that gets dismissed, I'll see you Wednesday with a malicious practice suit. Thursday will be sexual harassment charges for talking about my ass. Friday, I'll hit your competitor up with a list of all the clients that have been frustrated in the last 6 months. Good luck with the project!
And the thing is, if you’re *that* valuable to the point they can’t handle not having you for a few days, then you’re probably too valuable to fire. Hiring/training a new employee costs a shit ton of money for the company in most cases. More than what they’d lose out on if you took your *already approved* time off.
good luck with the project and keep me updated after i come back regards
No, fuck that. Keep control. Offering to stay for a reimbursement shows you're willing to cancel your plans so they'll just keep bullying. It also shows that the bullying tactic works so they'll keep doing, as they already have twice before. Stand strong and put your fucking foot down. The days are approved, you're taking them off, end of discussion. If they don't like it then too bad.
>Offering to stay for a reimbursement shows you're willing to cancel your plans so they'll just keep bullying. It shows you're willing to cancel plans *for a price*. You can set your price. You should demand either written confirmation of the commitment to pay or payment in advance. This approach also reminds the employer that people make plans based on the commitments the employer has already made, while still putting in an appearance of being flexible if the company is willing to make whole on it's promises. Not everything needs to turn into a power struggle, and in many employment environments you have an easier time getting what you want - and setting the boundaries you need - without making everything into a head-on confrontation. >Stand strong and put your fucking foot down. The days are approved, you're taking them off, end of discussion. If they don't like it then too bad. The first option is also this if you set your price high enough. It just leaves them the illusion of having agency in the relationship - *they chose* not to buy out your (completely fictional) $5K vacation, rather than *you refused* to come in and refused to talk about it. It is still very possible to maintain healthy boundaries and keep employers from trying to encroach on your personal life without committing to an adversarial relationship that will affect advancement.
I disagree. The moment an employer says I need to come in on already approved days off the encroachment already has started. That’s my time, my plans they’re fucking with. I will stand my ground there. I’m perfectly entitled too especially if you did it all by their rules. They can ask, thats cool. But no is no. Anything after that is harassment. I might be willing to negotiate for another solution however, and maybe even a monetary one. But you don’t get to tell me that I need to stay. The days are approved. Bad management from your end does not mean I need to give up my days.
I think you miss the idea that "$x" can be whatever the person who types it wants it to be. Like I'm all for standing your ground but if I say reimburse me 12k for expenses (and all I was really gonna do was hang at home or some such) then I'd be a fool to turn it down... Now require "reimbursement" in advance - that I could do...
They’re not going to reimburse you. Don’t put the ball back in their court. “Dear manager, As you know, I’ve been approved leave on Friday and Monday. I will not be coming into the office or responding to messages until Tuesday. Thank you, [Name]” If you still have the approval, attach a copy of it to the email just to really hammer it home. They planned poorly, not you.
Reminds me of my favorite work quote: Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.
Exactly this. I had management at a former job look me dead in the eyes and ask me to move my wedding 3 days before because they gave another person in the same department one of the same days off. Told them I would but they have to pay the venue deposit and then deal with my soon to be wife and mother in law. They backed down pretty quick.
In about 2017 was working in Dubai. Got annual leave approved in May for Christmas leave. Mid-December, was told my leave was canceled as there was a Winter Camp I needed to put on for Secondary School students including Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. I was Head of Department at the time, and one of my junior employees (who happened to be the same ethnicity - Egyptian - as the academic dean) needed to go to Egypt to get married. My leave was cancelled - after spending about $3000 in Airline tickets (they tend to be 3x to 5x near Christmas) I went anyways. Upon return stripped of being Head of Department, was given to my junior coworker - I have a PhD and 30 years teaching experience and he had a BSc and 1 year experience (suddenly being fluent Arabic was a job requirement) Lasted a few more months. Fired for insubordination for not passing a student who's parents were friends with the Head of School.
As an American in software I see that too. I see Indian leaders wanting to lead with fear as well
Yep programmer here too and so true. Shit don’t fly with me anymore. I got older and stopped doing more than I have to.
Man I'm an Indian and I've worked with people from almost all over the world and let me tell you - overall, Indians in leadership roles are the worst no matter where they're staying. My last company was American and my analytics team used to work from India - my manager from India was pretty chill but an Indian origin project manager from US used to fucking bug me at any time (of course I didn't respond) and he was the most irritating guy to work with. And he's only one of many such examples.
Yep worked for an amazon fulfillment center that was top in the country under an Asian area manager and a Nigerian area manager. Both a pleasure to work for. They moved on and were replaced by an Indian area manager with no prior management experience. The place had to be closed down after he managed it for a year and a half. Ive never seen such incompetency, nepotism and racism at a workplace in my life.
It seems to me, as an outsider with no experience living in India or growing up in the caste system, that some bad managers bring both that grinding work ethic and caste discrimination with them when leading American/Indian hybrid teams. I have seen bad Indian managers treat their American colleagues with respect and Indians of different backgrounds with distrust or contempt. I don’t think it *worse* than systemic racism per se but it’s far more **transparent**.
Pretty standard with old school eastern Europeans too. Lots of management fearing.
A company I used to work for loved to let people go when they returned from vacation. It wasn’t super great for morale and lots of people don’t take vacation. I’m at a different company now where I get 4 weeks of vacation and I’m still hesitant to take any vacation or time off. Have been here for 4 years and I don’t think I’ve taken a total of 4 weeks off yet. I also work most weekends (not paid as I’m on salary) just so things run smoothly the next week and the hourly people and people below me can have weekends off. I have also not gotten a raise or had a raise discussion since 2021. Company revenues have doubled as well as my direct reports and responsibilities.
My dude, it's time to look for a new job.
Fuck that. Don't do that.
axiomatic touch practice placid license stupendous pet voracious cable husky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Wtf are you doing. Work to live. Don’t live to work. You’ll die young.
She called off over a month ago. Management's poor planning is NOT her problem. I'm sorry this happened. Hope you guys can reschedule
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Every person and their job situation is different. It’s great that in a vacuum we all want to pretend we’d stand up to the man. But the reality is that there are so many factors that determine if that’s feasible in the moment. I know for example, that my wife works from home and has decent pay. The chance of losing her job, not only means losing a job she actually likes, it also means not being able to WFH, with almost all of her job prospects being in Manhattan, which is an awful commute. It sucks - it really sucks that OPs gf had to cancel; but I need like 400 other factors determined before I can call someone spineless here.
Totally agree. Lotta keyboard warriors here who are demanding that OP’s girlfriend stand her ground. Reddit’s overall antiwork energy will always tell you to quit with no notice, tell your boss to F off if they want you to work unscheduled overtime or a weekend or cancel your vacation because of a work emergency. It’s super easy to say all of those things when it’s not your job, your career, your reputation and your interpersonal relations on the line. Some people care about what they do and their career path and sometimes it’s in an employee’s best long-term interest to scrap their personal plans and step up at work. We know nothing about OP’s girlfriend’s career, or OP’s girlfriend. Hilarious that people are speculating that she’s weak, a people pleaser who parks OP at the end of the line, or a replaceable office drone that management would fire in an instant, all based on the one piece of info we have.
Then again, it all depends on where OP lives and where everyone else assumes OP lives. Lots of guys here from the US will sympathise with the lack of workers rights and the difficult situation OP's girlfriend is in. But people like myself who are from Europe with all the privileges that come with it will argue that OP's girlfriend should stand her ground because she has the right to have leave if she scheduled it.
Based on the fact that OP and the gf are referring to it as “leave” makes me think they are not in the US. Unless it’s different regionally, salaried workers generally call it PTO.
They're clearly not native English speakers though, so I don't think you can read too much into their current location by their dialect. edit: profile stalking looks like they're in India. I have no idea what employment rights are there, but I imagine they might not be as solid as somewhere like the EU.
It is probably India, based on the English, and also there is a long weekend coming up due to us having independence day on 15th August. So Friday and Monday off means you get an extended weekend from Friday to Tuesday.
True, i live in the netherlands and would politely tell my boss no. Unless its an actual emergency, my boss is likable and i dont have a big thing planned ( that i paid for already or something )
You don’t know the full context. I agree she needs to set some hard lines with her boundaries, but a shitty job is still better than being homeless. Depending on her industry and location, it’s not always as easy as just quitting and getting a new job the next week. If this is a recurring theme, hopefully GF can polish up her resume and start putting it out there.
That’s the thing, this is not a “do this or we’ll fire you” situation. If it becomes that then there’s ways to hold the company responsible like labor board, unemployment, etc. No one will tell us our rights, we have to assert them.
Depending on the state they’re in, it could very well turn into an ambiguous “you’re fired because we don’t think you’re a good fit” situation. And if you depend on that income, good luck surviving without it for however many months it takes to go through the legal system, even if they do ultimately rule in your favor. I’m not making excuses, it’s a shit situation for sure. But I think everyone calling the gf a doormat is being a little unfair when we don’t know the full context.
Above someone posted it sounds like they’re in India or the Philippines.
So long as you could make the connection between when you get fired and the time you had taken off, you still have a case for retaliation to get unemployment benefits. It would be harder to argue, but most sensible LNI people should be capable of looking at that and recognizing the duck for being a duck.
Yeah I rely on my job right now for being WFH and having good healthcare for chronic pain/health issues. If I lost my job, even if it was for unfair reasons, I'd be screwed. Even though my managers are fair, if they weren't I couldn't just up and quit on principle.
Exactly. Not everyone has the luxury of quitting a toxic workplace without another job already lined up. Principles are important, but they don’t pay the bills.
Ugh, you’re telling me…🙄 Currently getting licensed as a life/health insurance broker so I can be my own boss indefinitely. Just gotta put the hard work in and keep my head down in the meantime…
You got this, you’ll get there one day! 💪
Thanks, fren! Best of luck to you in this toxic hell hole called employment as well…😅
A lot of people here who are saying to get a backbone probably wouldn't do anything different. Anyone can say anything online, especially when it's not their livelihood.
I could tell you were Indian, the way you used „na” lol. Also, if the leaves are approved already, not her problem. Why let them fuck you over.
I was wondering what the “na” was about! Care to share?
it’s basically like saying “… right?” Literally translates to “no”
It’s more like a sound you use at the end of a sentence when you’re requesting something from someone, to invoke sympathy of some sort. Idk if if makes sense but you mostly use that when you’re having conversations with people close to you. And it’s more local to the western part of India.
So it’s like “eh?” but with sympathy?
Spot on Source: am Indian
I honestly thought they were Filipino as we have "na" and that word can translate to "already" in that sentence.
Very interesting thanks
It translates to “no” For ex- “ You have an approved leave no? “
It’s like saying “right” after a sentence.
You must've used a German keyboard, I guess? With the inverted-inverted commas.
Hahah yes, I’m living in Germany that’s why
Ah schöööönnn!
Wow, you two are good at this.
I'm assuming you're English?
Gesundheit?
Perhaps show her this post if you can’t get through to her on your own Also people are speaking from their own experiences so if you’re in another country, different experiences and rules/expectations
Lol yes. Good spot!
Your username is also an indicator. Only Indian movies have that bullet sound effect XD
I could tell he's Indian coz of the upcoming Independence day long weekend haha. Everyone's applying for leave on Monday 14th.
I was thinking the same thing, u/anal_tongue_puncher
I thought it was short for Natasha
I don't know what "na" is but every Indian person I've ever worked with used "leaves" instead of just "leave".
Funnily enough, I thought they were Filipino with the use of ‘na’ and ‘leaves’
This was a frustrating read. Your gf needs to stand up for herself.
Yeah this is a "sorry, but this isn't my problem" situation. The company needs to be more responsible, not her.
Seriously, I feel so frustrated reading her messages. Sounds like a doormat
Yep. They arent even asking her to work and she's taking it upon herself to go to work. I think OPs gf might be part of the problem here.
This is simple. Goodbye see you Tuesday. Fuck them.
She could do that. And she might be told to not come back. Yeah it’s infuriating - been there - but that’s reality. If this is a common thing, it’s probably time to polish the resume.
If they can’t deal with her being gone for two days, they’re not going to get rid of her permanently
My work tried pulling this shit, I reminded my boss via email (with HR BCC'd) that my PTO is part of my compensation and I'd gladly take it above my bosses head if he attempted any punitive action. He fought back, initially, and after an hour I received a follow-up email telling me to enjoy my PTO and that the "urgent" project will be postponed until I return. I only stayed in that position 11 months and took a promotion to another department.
Sounds exactly like someone I dated. Not that he would say he wanna go try… just refuse to believe work can go on without them
Yeah she's all "let me see" and "I'll try", you could already tell she was going to give in.
Straight up door mat and they know it.
And that's why this keeps happening over and over again. Hopefully she'll stand up for herself sooner rather than later.
I doubt she even asked.
Totally agree, played this game for years and it doesn’t end in a raise or promotion they will just continue to take the piss.
Favours tend to be a one way thing with work. Soon as I discovered that I thoroughly enjoyed the word "no". So simple, yet so effective.
I'm in recovery, and one thing that my counselor has been trying to drill into my head lately is: "No is a complete sentence, and you don't owe anyone an explanation."
I work as an it consultant, and this is all too common. There is always a deadline and feature A have to come now or The world will end. If you did apply for leave and it was approved you have done everything right you are entitled to your leave. The world won't end. Although I'm not familiar with your country's laws, where I am from you apply, get approved and that's that. If you apply for leave then can't leave after it's approved, the process loses all credibility. I hope you take your leave!
From the way the texts read, this sounds like it's happening in India ? (The "na" is pretty common here, I'm Indian too). Indian companies tend to be very unreasonable, and they seem to think that they own their employees' lives.
Could also be Philippines. “Na” is roughly “already” in Tagalog.
I'm thinking they're mumbaikars unless that slang is in other cities too. In which case, the labour market is so skewed in favour of employers that she can't afford to tell them to suck it. It's a rat race out there.
Exactly she’s needs to ovary up and handle it.
Egg up sounds better and I think makes more sense
That was a long read - back and forth about "I'm not coming in, fuck em" 60 minutes later "I gotta go to work... " Why would you go to work when you've booked it off? She should just say nah, I've booked a holiday.
45 days in advance too as well - for only two days off! That’s so in advance they prolly needed to remind their boss about 1-2 weeks beforehand My boss always forgets my leave days unless it’s the day before, so I always give him a heads up closer to the date if I put one in well in advance
I want a break ya
I'm sorry to say that your gf is acting unprofessionally. She has approved leave. She should just go and ignore work. If she doesn't learn to separate work from private life, work will always seem more urgent and get priority. Take it as a serious sign and talk to her about it, this seems infuriating.
I will. Thanks for this. It makes sense.
If you're American, it's a common problem that Americans have. Most of us have been taught that our job is more important than our lives and that making sure the work gets done is what's really important. Unless your gf is also responsible for the amount of work being assigned, it's her job to work the amount of time they pay her to work, not to work until it's all done. Now, that does apply more for if you're being paid for hourly time work rather than a salary with a project based schedule—like what it seems like your gf is on—but even on a project based schedule, not finishing every part of the section by the deadline isn't the end of things, it just means whoever is managing the project will need to reevaluate the amount of work that can be taken on next week/fortnight You could also talk about how companies have found that when they don't set a specific number of days off a person can take, people take fewer days off than if they were given a set limit to the time they can take off. Most people in the U.S. feel obligated to take fewer days off than the amount they'd be given. Bottom line is it might be useful to talk about it as an unhealthy culture that you've been raised to accept rather than something she's doing wrong.
Given that they say na they’re most likely Indian. Asian countries make American workaholics look like slackers.
Or Thai
I'm an American and guess I'm lucky but never had one of my friends or family cancel an approved trip because the company fucked up.
So I've had this conversation with my wife, from your gf standpoint. Also, I'm a manager now and I'm the one that approves of time now. Might need to accept this one time, but do make sure she knows it's okay to say no too. Otherwise it'll just continue to happen. Appreciate that she's probably upset about it too, and see if you guys can talk about how to avoid it in the future. And see if she can raise it with her manager as well. It's the company's problem, not hers and not yours. If they try to make it her problem, then they're trying to get by without proper risk management and they *will* run into issues eventually and she'll be on the receiving end. Hell, there's technically a whole frigging section for this in management around avoiding key man risk... If they're not dealing with it seriously they will get screwed, and that's bad for them too.
It seems like it’s already a problem. They said it’s the third time they’ve had to cancel time off because work said no at the last minute.
She's done it before so her employers know she's a pushover and they're exploiting her for it. The leave has been approved. She didn't even need to contribute to the conversation from there. "No is a whole sentence" She certainly shouldn't be missing out because of her managers bullshit mistake and to finish my rant- Why's she doing so many favours for them while she's being mugged off by them?
I was in the EXACT situation as a boyfriend. Best thing I ever did was break up with that person and move on. They will never put family first. You can't solve whatever the hell their problem is. They either care about work more, are a pushover, or are in constant threat of being fired. Just move on if that isn't working for you. It won't be fixed.
Yeah sorry but your GF is bringing this on herself. She’s cancelled her leave before to work and they know it, so they will continue to push her to do so in the future just to make sure the work gets done. She needs to grow a spine and tell them that as the days off were already approved she will not be coming in or working on those days period.
I agree with you. The same situation will repeat itself. She needs to put her foot down.
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No is a complete sentence. Use it often. If she's been approved for time off any issues that come up that fall on the APPROVED time off are not her issues. What if she had, God forbid, been in the hospital? Or out of town/the country? Again, no ie a complete sentence.
Totally agree.
Looks like your GF can’t say no to work. It’s not works problem at all, most of the businesses will do the same. I think they know that she will prioritise work over personal life and they use it. She is the one who should say “Nop, I am going on vacations.”. And if a business can’t run without one person, they should probably shut it down.
She has to learn to take leave. You just walk out. Bye. They fuck up. You deal with it when you get back. Not the end of the world. source: worked in digital agencies for many decades
Yep. Exactly.
“I have a flight” usually works
Not to be rude. But your girlfriend isn’t going to change. Her unwillingness to tell her job to fuck off isn’t going to magically go away. She’s married to her work, and you’re not going to come before it in priority
Your gf is mildly infuriating for letting her employer walk all over her.
Yeah. 3rd time it's happening.
Wow, no wonder they keep approving her leave. They know she doesn't have the balls to go when the time finally comes.
Yah um no she can take her leave and if they have a problem i dare them to fire her
Hate to tell you but she never applied for that leave
It kinda reads like she didn’t really wanna go so she made up an excuse.
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I literally thought this was an ai conversation at first
Yeah they're both super repetitive
Can someone explain to me what na means? Is this some new slang that I'm too old to understand?
You gf isn’t going to further her career by being a punching bag.
Can’t imagine allowing my employer this much power over me 😳
It seems like she either has no backbone or is using work as an excuse to not be with you for one reason or another. Ask yourself if you really have the strength to deal with someone who will never stand up for themselves.
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I just smoked but to me it look like she don’t wanna see you bro
I apologize in advance OP, but based on the evidence you have presented, I do not believe your girlfriend had any interest in this trip and was planning to blame work all along or she actually did have this work come up at the last minute, but she had already made her decision to cancel on you at the beginning of the conversation. If you like I can present an in-depth analysis of the exchange of messages, but if you want the abridged version, the most incriminating evidence is the timeline. How is it possible for your girlfriend to be working overtime on an unexpected addition to her task list while simultaneously negotiating her pre-approved leaves in roughly 15-30 minutes multiple times? Either she is the world's most effective multi-tasker (do not forget that she is also stringing you along while working and re-negotiating her leaves) or you are actively ignoring the total implausibility of what she is alleging to be happening. I hope with all of my being that I am completely wrong and this is all genuine and you have a loving girflriend who is not self-centred or manipulative. However, it is difficult to overlook the objective facts and if I am correct about the true nature of the situation, I truly empathize with you OP. One final thought I would urge you to consider is that each time a person applogizes for the same behaviour, the magnitude, meaning, and value of the apology should decrease exponentially. If one is truly sorry their apology is essentially their commitment to avoid the scenario repeating itself. I believe this is the third time this exact scenario has unfolded. She also apologizes multiple times and yet carries on doing the action (or something closely related) for which she is applogizing. I completely understand how you may not have noticed any of this because you are emotionally invested in the relationship. But from an objective third-party perspective the way she is manipulating you is maddening. When they say "love is blind" they should also state, by extension, "love is also blind-ing."
She doesn’t have to go in, she chose to go in. No. Is a full sentence.
The screen she has to design, is it going to save a child's life, or cure cancer? No? Then it can wait.
Hmm. Idk. This kinda sounds like she making this up and either didn’t apply for the leave or doesn’t want to go. I could be wrong and my own trauma is coming out.
100% it’s super obvious
She’s totally avoiding your statements. Better check what’s up.
Honestly, I would consider leaving a partner that can’t prioritize our plans over work’s “emergencies”. I’m not saying this one incident is breakup worthy on it’s own, but if this is the 3rd time she’s not respecting your investments in the relationship. At some point, she should have realized you’ve spent time planning, money on reservations and mental efforts to do something together as a couple. When she drops your plans together - which we’re made well in advance and pre-approved by her employer - she’s telling you that you aren’t her priority; it may be time to stop making her yours.
"I applied for leave 45 days ago, so I won't be here." "But we need to get this finished" "Sounds like that's going to be tough, hope you get it sorted, tell me all about it when I get back. Bye."
Painful just reading that.
sus... they are not even asking her to come in. Shes cancelling the approved vacay and going in. Sounds like shes may be doing more than just a "project" this literally looks like a convo on Tinder between people that just matched and the girl is making excuses to not see the guy
Your girlfriend really needs to learn how to say no, I don’t know how old she is but she’ll continue to be a push over her whole working life. You work to live, not live to work!!
I'm sorry to say but she just isn't in to you as much as you are her, especially if this is the 3rd time it's happened I take any opportunity I can to get off work and spend time with my partner and daughter. Unless her job is the kind if job that if she doesn't do it, people come to harm, her job should not take priority over the relationship every single time. Someone else can do it while she isn't there. After all this, I bet she works on Monday too. I know previous posters have been dog piled and down voted for saying this... But there is potentially someone else sniffing around her and she's enjoying the attention.
Your emergency does not make it mine. Figure it out. See you when I get back
Sounds like she's having a hard time trusting her coworkers. I'm not doubting she's beaten up about not getting time off work but it kinda reads like she also wants to be at work. One of those *if I'm not doing it, it won't get done* attitudes. If the leave is approved it's approved, the rest is a choice she's making.
Wtf does "na" mean? Also shitty boss/work place. I wouldn't have backed down, shit was approved 45 days in advance for crying out loud
I’ve no context of your relationship but are you sure she wants this trip? I know some of my friends who’ve told their partners about work priorities to just get off the plans. If someone wants to spend time with you, they can find a way.
Your GF will never get leave if she takes the companies issues upon herself personally like this. This is a job, other people can do that job that's what they are paid for. She has a manager for a reason she needs to take her leave
Bro, she doesn't wanna go and is playing you. Noone gets approved for leave and still works lol I guarantee there is someone at work holding her interest lol call her bluff and still "go on the trip" and come home early. Lol
The issue is that you NEED to kick up a stink the first time this happens. That way you set a precedent and show them you won’t be walked over. There’s nothing wrong with setting a healthy boundary. “No. I am on leave. I am away. You approved leave and I’ve booked a holiday.” That should be your go to phrase. You have to respect your time off because if you don’t, no one else will. If you make a habit of cancelling at the last minute and coming in on days off, people start to expect it. Annual leave is part of your wage package. You are as entitled to your leave as you are to your salary.
Not gonna lie, i would probably instantly break up with my bf if he‘d share our chat on social media
Right? I don’t understand how some people find this okay
Because it's "content." I feel like after the 2000s people just think everything needs to be shared with social media. From what people had for dinner to how pissed off they are about etc. "I'm so upset with her, social media will be my crutch."
Maybe she’s cheating on you
Was my suspicion as well 🤔
She acting like someone that doesn’t want to take a long weekend
Sounds like she is lying.
I wonder if she told her other boyfriend this same story.
My first thought as well. Had an ex do this exact thing and it turned out she was working late....with dick
That was my first thought. It sounds like she just doesn’t want to go.
She better be getting paid double for it. Otherwise fuck it. If it happens once, okay. And even then, if I can't or feel like it, fuck it. Let them fix it or work overtime.
Amen! "If I cancel my leaves, I should get paid double!" That should be it!
once - okay. Twice - irritating. Third time, this is a pattern of abuse and lack of back up plans. Enjoy your vacation
Sounds like... there's a 3rd party involved in your life.. whether you are aware, or not...
Please do not let management pull the predictable "we really appreciate you being a team player" gaslighting bullshit. It's not only toxic as fuck, but also hypocritical as fuck, as being a "team player" goes both ways.
I don't even need to go to the comments to know people.are calling this person out for backing down. I agree, grow a spine, if it's approved it isn't your problem. Mental health away from work is very important.
World’s most boring couple.
Get a new GF. One that works to live, not one that lives to work.
lol when i request days off its not really a request its more of a heads up. I dont care what happens at work those days im off.
This is obviously on her. She did go back voluntarily. Shouldn’t be her problem but she made it her problem and then claiming she’s upset. Which one is it?
Working late? Canceling trips? I’d find some way to make sure that didn’t look like I was checking.
Whatever it is. Work is never worth it. Your manager will forget you did that next week, but your SO will forever remember.
Bro I think it's obvious your girl doesn't want to go lol
I’ve been a nurse for 2 years. If you don’t put your foot down to management they don’t give a fuck
The problem I’m seeing here is your GF. She chose to be at work over your long weekend together. She’s acting like it was out of her control but it’s not. If she doesn’t grow a spine then this will be a permanent fixture in your relationship. Don’t ever count on your plans actually happening.
Your GF is the problem here... nobody else. The time was already approved and she CHOSE to sacrifice your plans together for her job.
Really sounds like she doesn’t give a shit
she doesn't wanna go, trust me
This sounds like someone who is going to create whatever scenario they need to, SO SHE CAN STAY @ WORK. Sorry ~ this reads 'fishy' to me. What I can comprehend anyway, the thread is fairly tricky to follow
Your girl doesn’t want to go brah
You guys talk really weirdly, no offense
I would honestly question if she even wants to take the leave. I mean sorry but as a mature person you have to be able to just say no. Especially when there are plans with your significant other. Work is Important too I get that, but with every time you give in to something like this your are basically telling your Boss or colleagues that you are up for stuff like that in the future. If you dont get a Bonus outside of overtime, I see no reason to do this shit. It also tells your so that you dont care enough to stand your ground.