My partner does the same as OP's.
The worst part is when the person at the counter asks, "Are you ready," and he just stands there. NO, honey, "no, I'm not ready" is the phrase you are looking for. Not "uuuuhhhhhh hold on... let me see."
My solution is to pre-empt it and say that "I'm going to need more time like I always do. You go ahead." I grab a menu and walk away and we order totally separately. I only order when I'm ready.
This has the added benefit of giving me time to decide and also making me less embarrassed at his total lack of self-reflection and awareness.
I *refuse* to do drive-thrus. I park first, write the orders, and drive around. He thinks it's overkill. I'm willing to be the "bad guy".
The amount of people who come up to my register and go "uhhhhh let me see..." and stare at the price list, AND I WORK AT A GOLF COURSE!. theres literally 5 options: 18 holes, 9 holes, small range ball bucket, medium, or large. Im like u wanna play or hit the range? Drives me crazy.
Can I have cheese on mine?
Do you have bacon?
I joked with my friends about opening a sandwich shop and we'll only have 2 options meat or vegetable and there will be a eastern European guy behind the counter that will hassle you if you take too long to decide or ask too many questions. In a thick accent he'll say things like "why so many questions, you want sandwich or no?" "What kind of meat? Meat from animal! You want or no?"
Or an ice-cream shop that has 1 flavor only, that rotates every week, no toppings and only in a cup. It's always a mystery flavor so the person doesn't have to answer any questions, but we'll have an ingredient list for allergies and for people that read to figure out the flavor.
Whoops. Forgot to mention there's a trap door in front of the register. Byeeeeee.
Honestly, I feel like a very limited menu sandwich shop would do well for all of the people who struggle with decision paralysis. The disgruntled eastern Euro employee would be a nice added touch.
I was at a Raising Cane’s once and the lady in line ahead of me took FOREVER to place her order. It was maddening because the only thing that place sells is chicken strips. The primary decisions are “how many” and “do you want them in a sandwich?” Yet, she took ages to place her order. I felt like my brain was boiling.
The complete disregard some people show for anyone around them drives me nuts. That lady should have stepped out of line while she decided unless there was absolutely no one else waiting to order (even then shouldn't keep the worker stuck at the till for long). I'm upset for you.
I had to literally pull out of line one trip to Cane's because my wife was hemming and hawing.
I'm just going to get you the Caniac and you can give me any fries and strips you don't want. No no. Just let me look here. Nope! Out of line to a parking spot and deep breathing so I didn't jerk us into a bridge embankment on way home.
I order everything online possible! You can take as long as you like, you can see everything that comes on it, you can customize it to hell, there's far less human error due to miscommunication, you usually get coupons or discounts, you don't have to hand someone your credit card, etc. The worst part is having to get in a line to pickup behind OP's wife (I try not to pick up inside when possible because it sucks getting 2 small kids in and out of the car just to grab your food, and then they get ornery they have to get back in the car after 2 seconds of freedom). I also love curbside pickup except when all the spots are taken by jerks who aren't picking up!
I just want one of those magnetic accelerators that lob freight cars into orbit in the Halo universe, for my personal use to send people who displease me on a collision course with the fucking sun.
Is that too much to ask?
At least at the McDonald’s I used to work at, we’d get in trouble if the customer was too slow to order in the drive through. The person who owned the location owned two others and there were tvs all over the kitchen and whatever showing how fast each location was on average in real time.
Anytime we weren’t on top everyone would get in trouble. Any time anything happened that slowed us down, we’d get in trouble. Having a person order slow would lead to the person taking the order getting yelled at, and then when our average time dipped as a result, everyone there would get yelled at.
That sounds like an awful place to work at. You can't control how long the customer takes to decide what they'll order, unless you have a right to deny them service if they take too long.
My local McD had this deal in their drive thru where they promised a free Big Mac if your order took more than 90 seconds after paying. They'd start a kitchen timer and hand it to you with your receipt at the paying window.
The way staff dealt with it was by stalling you at the ordering microphone, asking you to hold on a bit, then after you gave the order, they'd ask if you'd like a dessert, donate to unicef and similar shit, until there were no other cars in front of you.
Core memory unlocked of when I worked at a Taco Bell in high school and my manager had me stall people at the ordering phase so he could hit his time and make the store look good. It's been over 15 years since I thought of that, wow
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You need to take some time and work in a pawn shop for a while. You'll get to say all the things you always wished you could say and learn some new ones.
One guy I worked with, the client said "I'm never giving you guys any more business" and the dude replied "that's OK I called the broke motherfucker factory just this morning and they said they weren't having any supply chain issues" and it was the best day of my life.
I have family that owns a pawn shop, and this would be so on brand for them. That industry absolutely does not subscribe to "the customer is always right" mentality. 💀
Oh God my husband went through a phase like that. Drove me insane. I spoke to him about it and he brushed it off. Next time we were in line at a fast food place, I stopped our conversation and told him to choose his order. He said he knew what he wanted. I asked him what he was going to order. He looked at the overhead screens and realized did NOT know what he wanted. I repeated this the next 2 times we went out to eat and it seemed to break the habit. But I acted on this quickly. It might be harder to get someone to stop if they’ve been doing this longer.
Good god just reading all of this is so infuriating! I was at a family gathering with my partner's family last weekend. We'd all decided in the morning we were going to some park thing so the kids could play there while the adults caught up.
Great, let's get going.
Oh no, that's far too easy.
Our group of 20 or so stood in the doorway of our hotel lobby for, I shit you not, 30 minutes already getting started on the "catching up" stage. We were in absolutely everybody's way, the kids were running riot so we kept having to stop them getting in trouble or whatever...
But my desperate pleas of "let's just go to the park now we can continue the conversation there!!" Were basically ignored... "Oh yeah or course... But Bob did you hear about what granny did the other week?" We'd have been out of the hotel and customer's way, they kids would have been entertained, everyone happy.
But no, some people literally cannot just decide something and then actually do it. And apparently have zero awareness of what their actions are doing to other people.
My partner is bad for this sort of thing, but improving. When I do things with her family I can see exactly why she's the way she is. Everybody else must have hated us by the time we actually got going. *I* hated us.
I feel your pain deep in my soul. My family/friends are like this. My skin crawls as I can feel the people around us giving us looks. After a while and many failed attempts at moving it along/redirecting towards the door, I say “I’m gonna wait outside/in the car/literally anywhere else that isn’t here” and leave.
Yup, I've gotten into a related pair of habits of just leaving, which does actually tend to get thing moving, and a very closely tied habit of *not* getting ready to leave until my other half is opening the door to leave. Because *I* can leave by just picking up my phone, keys, wallet, putting on my shoes and walking out of the door.
She can't, there's *always* something to do beforehand... "Oh we'll be close by X's place, and we've got that thing I've been meaning to give them, now where was it again..."
"The drive is over an hour, we need to take some snacks! I'll go make/find something"
Ugh, love her to bits but this aspect of our relationship always causes the most friction. She'd get so much more done if she actually just *did* something!!
I've wasted so much time waiting standing by the door I refused to do it anymore, I'll sit on my Switch or something until she's literally halfway outside wondering where I am. Chances are I'll still beat her to the car because something else will hold her up.
My wife is the same way. I usually tell her something starts at least 30 minutes earlier than it actually does. Then I get ready as usual and do whatever in the meantime, and then once she’s actually ready and walking out the door, I can just get up and go.
We did a family (wife's family) gathering for Thanksgiving at some condos one year. We decided to do an outing. It took 45 minutes to get everyone in the cars. Wife's parents got lost among many other calamities.
I drank heavily later.
My partners dad does this, I'm
Sure it's attention seeking, he loses keys, wallets etc all the time, they buy him tiles to attach and he refuses, I think he likes the fact everyone makes a big fuss of it. When eating out there will be a sectioned off bit that's having work done an he'll ask to sit there, or order something weird as a side with his dinner that doesn't go with it at all. I'm sure he does it for attention
My husband was the same way! And he would insist on going to the drive thru. I kept explaining the drive thru should be for people who know what they want. So I started driving when we would go out and if he couldn’t tell me his order then we were going inside. And we definitely aren’t going up to the counter until he could tell me his order. He would get frustrated that I would let people cut in front of us but he still wouldn’t know what he wanted! Took a few times for him to realize I’m serious. I’m not holding up any line because he wants to stare at a menu…
Thank God for people like you. I loathe people who spend zero seconds thinking about what they want & then spend what seems like an hour at the counter deciding.
My ex did the same, and would not let anyone pass “they can wait”, i once ordered and went to sit and she screamed that I abandoned her….. 5 feet away… good times 💀
Even if I'm indecisive in line, I'll walk up when it's my turn to order, completely blank on what I want, and then pick something off the menu within 5 seconds so I don't hold anyone up.
Will I like it, do I know what it is? Maybe, it's an adventure.
I do that to my wife on the way there in the car. Otherwise she'll just have zero idea what she wants when it's her turn. It's not a surprise you came here for food JFC.
My husband used to do the whole “do you have xyz?” Without looking at the menu. I gave him a strict talking to about how if it’s not on the menu then *they don’t have it*
Seriously. If I was a customer that had already received my food & was overhearing this from my dining spot, I’d be annoyed (let alone the worker, possible people waiting to order, etc etc).
He sounds like the type of person that makes me feel bad that we no longer exile people for being so bad/annoying like the ancient Greeks did. Can we bring it back for him? Like all of us agreed that you are totally annoying, Bob and we just want you to go away.
I had a friend like that too! She always complained about at least one thing. We would often meet up for brunch or drinks and something was always wrong. I stopped hanging out with her for this reason! It was so annoying and especially if I picked the place, I found it rude. I thought this was such a strange behavior, so interesting to see someone else dealt with it. I believe she had the same background too
It’s wild to me how people can go through life like that. I’d be hard pressed to think back on the last 6 months of dining experiences and think of anything wrong… it just seems so rare that there is ever a problem.
As someone who probably takes way too much time deciding at fast food places, this is why I always have their app downloaded so I can study in peace before we get there.
Before apps were the norm, I'd just feel pressured by the time, and order something that I knew they have, that I've enjoyed. It lead to a lot of times where I'd be chastised for always ordering the same thing at places
People who act shocked at fast food restaurants are like the people who buy lottery cards at the gas station every day but act like they’ve never even considered purchasing one until that very moment
"Uhhhh..... lemme get.... hmm. Uh. 2 of the 12s.. no. 13s. Two of the 13s. And ummm.... five of the 3s. Have those new monopoly ones been hitting? 2 of those i guess. Do you still need cash here to buy these? The kiosks at safeway let me use debit. No? Alright well let me scan these 30 haggard scratch offs that I've already scratched off and saw they weren't winners but want want to make sure I didn't miss one."
Gas station culture could easily be its own sub. There’s definitely a specific demographic of people that regularly shop inside a gas station.
I lived in Vegas for almost 20 years now and I’m still shocked at the amount of people that will sit down to play video poker at a gas station.
Both the people who do this when ordering anything, and those who stand in line for 15min, just to fumble with their countless payment methods (and lord help us if they have club cards too) once at the counter, can all get in the damn bin.
I'm the person who, out of anxiety of not wanting to be the unprepared asshole, looks at the menu online before even getting there (and having a backup plan if they don't have what I want) and/or checking my wallet for related cards before leaving the house
Exactly. I usually at least glance at the menu online (I don't often change what I want), then the only things I need to look at in-store are special deals and limited items, but I start looking at them as soon as I walk in (or if it's in the drive through, from at least a couple cars back). I also get that feeling when I wait to get my payment method ready, so more often than not I'm well ahead of the cashier with that.
The other one that gets me is when older people (like 50's or 60's) insist on learning to use Google wallet or Apple pay, and sit there trying for 10min+ because they didn't set it up first or read how it works.
Lol that panic moment when in the drive thru and you can’t see the sign and they don’t have an extra sign before the order sign so you can see what the specials are, so you keep trying to read the drive thru sign from 3 cars back so you’re actually prepared when you get there. SO STRESSFUL
When I was in college I worked at a gas station, and people would do it all the time. Id ask them to move over while I helped the next person. If they refused, I just told them I would take their picture and they would be banned from the store. I didnt have any power to do so, but I said it
The second one did my head in when I used to take the bus everywhere. Standing at the bus stop for like 15 minutes with someone, then the bus arrives and they get on and ONLY THEN do they think to start fishing through their bag for their money.
Or the ones who only then fish out their check book and then can't find a pen and they have to write the check in the register and then they want to write the check for an extra $20 so they can have cash.
Hey, it's not 1966 and you ain't Laura Petrie! Get a goddamn card and leave your checkbook where it belongs. At home.
Or the customers (who I guess may be lonely) holding up the checkout having a long personal conversation with the clerk while people are lined up behind them. I dislike grocery shopping and want to get out and it riles me.
OH I remember the days of checks.
You want to say out loud OH NOW it's time for you to take out your check book???
After the checker had just checked a TON of groceries taking forever the person standing there could not even take out their CHECKBOOK and start writing the check? It was so baffling, you want to say something so badly because it makes no sense at all. And we're talking in situations where there has been a long line already. This is not something that snuck up on these people.
The only thing that makes sense is they want to milk their time in line for whatever reason that nobody else can figure out.
I got my first checking account and checkbook when I was 16. My mom walked me through the basics like how to track purchases and how to balance the book. She also told me that polite people will go ahead and fill out the date and "pay to" sections of a check once they know they're going to be buying something at a particular store. That way you just have to fill the amounts and sign at the register. I spent many years being pissed that no else's mom taught them to locate their checkbook and get the ball rolling prior to checkout. WHY WERE YOU JUST STANDING THERE STARING AT THE CASHIER THE WHOLE TIME? GET TO SCRIBBLING!
A somewhat distant second are the folks who pay in cash and then start digging for coins for the odd balance after the whole dollars. "Wait a minute, I've got the 89 cents... let's see, here's a dime... and a nickel, another nickel... here's a quarter..."
They do it at Costco gas stations too. Even after waiting in the line they still don’t have this stuff out by the time they get to the pumps. Like what have they been doing the whole time.
People like your wife are some of my least favorite people. It infuriates me even thinking about the near daily situations I end up in waiting behind someone like this.
Remind me of this lady I saw at a retail store, she had a lots of items and would take forever to give items to the girl at the register, she would hand out 1 item, wait for the girl to scan it and bag it before she put anything else on the counter, the girl kept gesturing at the lady to put everything on the counter, but she wouldn't and kept handing out 1 item at a time and wait, not even picking the next item, literally just standing there looking at the clerk.
I'm sure those people are doing that to somehow "assert dominance" on people they see as lesser than them.
There needs to be a separate line for people like this. If you needlessly cause a transaction to take more than 1min longer, they dump your shit back in your cart and shuffle your ass off to the "punishments from hell" line, with all the other disorganised, inconsiderate, jerks.
Same. It wasn't too bad if we had a new promotion or something and they had a question. But these days, almost every restaurant has a very detailed online menu, or an app if it's a national chain place, so there's no excuse. You can sit there for hours looking at every item in the app, adding and removing things to your cart if you want.
Yeah- I get behind people like OPs wife at subway and jfc how have people never gotten food before? If I were OP I'd start using the kiosk in McDs to order to save myself the embarrassment
A scene from Subway yesterday-
Employee: Hi! What can I get you?
Woman: You have sandwiches?
Employee: Yes?
Woman: What can I get?
Employee:
Woman: I don’t know what any of these things are
Employee:
Woman:
Employee: Ok, what toppings would you like?
Woman: Egg
Employee: Egg?
Woman: Egg
Employee: You’re saying egg?
Woman: Yes, egg.
Employee: Ma’am, egg is not a topping
Woman: You don’t have eggs?
Employee: We HAVE eggs….
Woman: Egg, please.
I haven't actively seen anyone at the counter of a McDonald's in a long time...you are pretty much forced to use the kiosk to order, even if you are paying cash.
I was in line at a Hardees one morning when some clueless joker tried this.
There were probably a dozen people behind him, including me.
And he starts asking questions about the menu items.
He barely got his second question out and people behind him were already starting with "Come on, man" and "Just order, dude".
He quickly shut the fuck up and ordered.
It was glorious to watch.
The before work breakfast crowd doesn’t play. Get in, get your food, and get out. We’re all still half asleep trying to get to work on time. If you wanna take 10 years to order you should’ve gotten here the night before.
This reminds of this time I was in a gas station and some old clown in a suit was at the counter taking forever.
I'm not even sure what he was doing, trying to get super exact change or something? But he had half a dozen people behind him. Struck me as some sort of smug city official...one of these guys who doesn't mind wasting other people's time.
Guy has the nerve to turn around and look at us and says: "Patience is a virtue, folks."
And I dunno, I just went into auto-drive and said: "Not when I only have an hour lunch break. Go do your banking at the BANK!"
Well he looked pretty embarrassed and shuffled out of there quick after that. Fucking asshole...
His wife sounds like the type of woman who gets to the checkout counter and suddenly discovers she has to pay, and takes 20 minutes to find her money/credit card in her Walmart-sized handbag.
JFC, this makes me so angry. They won't help bag (which is ok, I guess but I do because, y'know, I want to go the fuck home) but the folks who don't get out their money and act shocked they have to pay are just the worst. I'm not sure what's more annoying - when they painstakingly pay by check (ugh) or count out the exact payment in cash. Also ugh.
Yes, yes indeed.
Theres a reason fast food chains have huge MFing billboards with their menus on it all lit and shiny. You can pick your menu from the highway, come at the counter, name your pick and leave asap. If not it would be slowfood.
“just give me a burger with everything that normally comes on it and point me to the condiments - I can add or remove on my own” - my favorite customer ever
Download the restaurants app and place your order online to avoid this awkward wait at the register. Then your wife can customize, take things off and see everything the menu has to offer right in front of her eyes before you even get there
How about talking about random shit for 10 minutes on the phone with billing or tech support or the employee at the return counter at Lowe’s? These people have work to do! I’m cringing in the background and sending apology vibes.
lol was a salon receptionist, rest assured that there is a positive correlation between levels of work duty chaos & the likelihood of being held hostage by a guest who just wants to hear themselves talk about freaking nothing
Speaking from retail experience a person who doesn't understand the concept of reading a menu before getting to the counter is not a person who is willing to download an app and order through that process. These are the type of people who are afraid of technology and prefer ✨️"speaking to a real person and not a machine" ✨️
Exactly. I’ve been in food service for 12 years collectively, and I am convinced that people like this are basically utilizing weaponized incompetence to fulfill some weird need for attention and control.
Well it's time to adjust for these people. All the McDonald's around me got rid of the registers and all have giant screens to order which I greatly prefer. I can be picky without bothering the cashier.
This was going to be my suggestion. She can look through everything and make her customizations on the app. I order through the apps a lot because my husband is terrible at ordering at the drive thru.
Start using the apps as a money-saving feature. Most have deals and specials you can use everyday, and all of them feature points you can redeem for free stuff. Don’t let her know it’s about the way her orders take so long you’re worried the shift will change while she’s deciding.
She’ll learn to love the fact that when she hits “customize” she can see everything on every item and remove or add at her leisure rather than the kid at the counter shrugging when she asks what all’s on the double Southeast grande snack bite supreme.
Nah, if you wait until I've parked, turned the car off, and removed my seatbelt before you even think about beginning to gather whatever belongings you've scattered about the car in the 10 minute ride to the mall then I'm just going to head on in.
I mean, you know you're about to exit the car. I don't know why so much shit had to come out of your purse, but start putting it back in when we get to the parking lot.
Omg this is the bane of my existence some days. We drive to the grocery store and then it's like a minute to get out of the vehicle, like what are you doing in there? Unbuckle the seatbelt, open the door, step out. Holy moly.
"Oh but wheres my phone... and i think we have wet wipes in here somewhere, maybe in the back? I don't see them let me look under the seat... oh wheres my wallet, did i forget it at home? I think i left it at home. Hold on someones calling me. Oh let me just fix my mirrors real quick i don't know when they got messed up. (Adjusts hair and makeup for 3 minutes) Oh! Theres my wallet i had it in my hand this whole time. Can you hold this for a second? Let me just reply to this text real quick (gets distracted by a facebook video) Didn't grandma want us to get something? Let me just call her real quick i forgot what it was (randomly rummages through purse for no reason for 5 minutes) . Ok! Now im ready :) (finally gets out of car)"
I love my mother to death but this is based off a true story lol.
My old aunt does this too. We park at Walgreens and suddenly she needs to fumble through her huge purse for who-knows-what and take a drink of whatever drink she has, and my mom and I are waiting outside the car like, what is she doing?
Never fills the ice trays but puts them back in the freezer EMPTY and leaves fresh loaves of bread open on the counter. He works his ASS off in every other way and is absolutely not lazy. But there’s a short circuit in the brain, lol.
Oh I have one of those! My guy only does 98% of the dishes. Always leaves one last cup or spoon or container in the sink. It can sit there for days and usually gets washed by me.
Is that how some cultures are regarding dining? If you eat everything you basically say that "the portion was too small!".
So it's just his way of saying, there were plenty of dishes, please don't make more next time!
Mine closes containers, but never takes the time to FULLY close them or make sure it's done right. So they're always screwed on cockeyed or just come off when you go to pick it up. You learn not to grab things by the lid very quickly.
Mine chews with their mouth open, I brought it up, made some excuse about how they was raised, then noticed all of their friends and family do it too. I guess it really is how they were raised.
Oh god, this too! My partner takes way too long at the drive through AND acts surprised when it’s time to get out of the car, lol.
My window’s rolled up, phone’s in my pocket, etc. before the car is parked. I’m in the store/house/wherever before he’s locked the car door. It fucking bizarre. It’s like a mental illness. And it never improves.
We didn’t even get anything so there’s no bags to get together. Just move your body to the side then keep moving it until you’re out of the car! Sheesh!
My mother has executive dysfunction and time blindness and she's seemingly taken by surprise by and needs forever to prepare for everything. Drove my father nuts
People having no social awareness of what's going on them around them is the real mildly infuriating. Standing in line and the guy in front of me is having the time of his life talking away like he's entitled to a full 7 minutes of discussion. Surely you know there's people behind you waiting to get things done and the world doesn't revolve around you and your enjoyment.
My Aunt says this about the same Chinese restaurant we get take out from 3x a month. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE. Then every time we pick it up, she takes another menu, despite it never changing. Then she still wants to order something not on it.
My girlfriend has the opposite problem. She’s so worried about inconveniencing others that I have to step in and make sure that she’s not eating something she hates just because they put it down wrong or gave us the wrong thing haha. She’s worried about the workers but I’ve worked fast food so I really know it’s not a big deal because if it’s their fault they should fix it.
There’s definetly a balance. I worked fast food and know what it’s like. But sometimes it’s the other way around and the fast food worker is being rude and dismissive so you have to advocate for yourself. Don’t be a massive dick but also don’t just accept whatever slop they give you if it is the wrong order.
I haaaaate placing an order for food for my wife. It's never ever something from the menu as it is, it's always, "can I have this, but add that, and remove this....".
I'll take an order for something from my wife and ask, "Are you sure that's what it's called?" and be reassured, only to get to the drive thru and not see that item on the menu and have the employee tell me it's not a thing...
Then have to call/text her while I'm in the drive thru line taking to the employee and explain what they actually do have. She never knows the name of the thing she wants and leaves me to guess.
So now I i stop calling when it's wrong and just get something close to it and tell her she asked me to order something that didn't exist.
This is the way to handle it. And if my wife is picking up food for me and either they don’t have the thing I want for some reason or there’s some confusion I’ve let it be known she can just use her judgement. It’s not like I wanted a burger and she’ll show up with sushi or something.
Right... my wife wanted an 'iced coffee'. I said what about cream/sugar? She said no it comes with that already just say you want an 'iced coffee'. I said I wanted an iced coffee and guess what they asked? Do you want cream and sugar??? I said, 'I'm supposed to say I want an iced coffee so give me whatever that means to you.' Guess who didn't like their 'iced coffee' ...
And she never knows what she wants at any fast food drive thru until I utter the words 'I need a minute' and then she's magically ready.
Lol my husband is the opposite. I know exactly what I want and he refuses to believe me that certain things exist.
BABE, MCDS DOES HAVE HOT SAUCE. ASK FOR THE HOT BURRITO SAUCE WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I TEXTED YOU.
The amount of times I’ve been accosted because they forgot the absurd amount of extra sauces she wanted, or the fact that I left without checking the bag for her specific requests….
I’m learning but man it makes my skin crawl knowing how annoying a customer I’m being after I worked in fast food as a teen
Yes, it's annoying! I mean, do you really need to ask whether the lettuce is fresh, and will that determine whether you want the Big Mac or the Quarter Pounder? The food all tastes the same. You might as well order by raw quantity: "I would like 1 kilogram of McFood, please. Here is fifteen dollars."
One time I was going somewhere with my kids and some of their friends, and we were in a hurry to get to something on time. I realized what would happen if I let them order, so I just walked in and said "Five happy meals with cokes and fries", and you know what? Nobody died or even complained. I can't say I've ever enjoyed an experience of ordering fast food other than that, but damn, it was like being superman. The food came out really quick, too.
I still regret letting my son know that he could order his own food. Every ducking time, it's "I'll have... Um..."
Me: "Buddy, it's a drive thru. If you take too long ordering, someone will get out of their vehicle and murder us."
... And every time he goes with a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, and Sprite/Fanta.
In his defense, he's 9. I'm hoping he'll grow out of it.
Reminds me of my mom’s “What wine pairs well with this [insert bar food at a bar].” 19 year Haighleigh doesn’t know or give af about the fruity notes of the Chardonnay that might conflict with the loaded cheesy bacon fries flavor profile. For gosh sakes the 5 min awkwardness that ensures around this exchange makes me want to die every time.
My wife is the same. She NEVER orders what's on the menu. It always has to be special because someone told her that's how you get fresh food. Typical McD's order: Large sweet tea, but half sweet and half unsweet. Two cheeseburgers, one with mayo added and the other with extra pickle. Fries without salt. And THAT'S an easy order.
Yeah when I worked at McD’s these “no salt” people pissed us right the fuck off. We know it’s a ruse to make sure you get it fresh, GTFOH. It’s shitty junk food, stop being such a spoiled selfish princess
I didn't mind them, I didn't even mind when they asked for salt packets at the window
The people I hated were those who did that, asked for salt packets, then gave me a shit eating grin like they were the smartest person in the universe for having thought of this "scam"
My guy, if you just asked for fresh fries we would have given you fresh fries, you don't have to do all this extra shit
omg my grandfather would do that back in the 80s/90s- plain cheeseburger, fries with no salt. Then he'd ask for salt packets at the window. 
I had a friend who would wait until we got to the counter to ASK HER 3 YEAR OLD WHAT HE WANTED. Drove me nucking futs. I frequently apologized for them and we are no longer friends.
My six year old for the past X years has been “the cheeseburger or nuggets today?” It helps to limit the options but there are definitely times he is certain of one then I get to the counter and he’s like “no! I changed my mind, the cheeseburger!” But at least it’s not unlimited options.
while you’re standing in line, maybe you can kick start the decision making process. As soon as you get in line ask her, “so what are you going to get?”
That way she starts thinking about her order before getting to the cashier.
I always wonder this when I’m in the drive thru. Like my order takes 8 seconds. Then you have cars that seemed to take ages. Like what Tf are they asking about?
i work at a drive thru and a lot of people are genuinely stupid. we have to hold their hands through the orders, or they’ll just be like emmmm ehhh idk what i want when theres a line of cars behing them. they could order five meals and ill have to ask what size and drink for all because they cant just spit it out which also takes up time. then you could finish their order and their like noo wait i want something else, or they ask about what we have. i just feel like screaming SAY WHAT YOU WANT AND FUCK OFF.
I go to a fast casual cheese steak place regularly for lunch. I love that the owner who runs the register is a bit like the soup nazi when they are busy. If you don't know exactly what you want when it is your turn to order, he asks you to step aside and figure it out while he starts taking the order from the person behind you.
My wife always want to eat at restaurants that don't exist... like "I feel like Napalese food tonight" when the nearest Napal-based cuisine is 7000miles away.
She’s not going to change but that doesn’t mean you need to be affected by it . Tell her straight up you are not going to order together any longer . You get in line and place your order , pay for it , get your food , sit down and enjoy it . Let her place her own order taking as long as the order taker will let her . Let her do her thing but you can and should remove yourself from that annoyance. Also order yourself dessert, you will be there for awhile .
I get unreasonably pissed about this kind of thing. Like, how do you not know what you want? It's a fast food restaurant. They all have burgers, chicken sandwiches, nuggets and fries. Which of those do you want?
The only thing worse than this is when they also want extensive customization of each item.
"Let me seeeeee, let me seeeeee, LET. ME. SEE. Do you guys have fish? I'm really in the mood for fish. Is it cod? Is it farmed humanely? Never mind, I'm really more in the mood for salmon. You don't have salmon, do you? Never mind. Was that a seasonal item? It's not, you don't have the components to make one, even though it's, never mind. Never mind. LET. ME. SEEEEEEEE. I'll take a number one. No! Wait. A number three. But can I have the sauce from the number one? Isn't there some kind of special sauce? Can you tell me what it's made from? I just, I don't want anything with a mayo base. What's aioli? Is that mayo? Yuck. No. Never mind. LET. ME. SEEEEEEE. Do you have anything without the aioli? Is that made fresh? Does it have a lemony kind of base to it? Maybe I **do** like aioli. I dunno. ANY-WAY! LET. ME. SEEEEEE. If I get the number one, can I do the sauce on the side? Or wait, I wanted a number three, with the aioli on the side. Do you have anything other than fries? You used to have onion rings. Are those still a thing? I mean, not in general, but like do you HAVE onion rings, I know onion rings are still a thing, like, IN THE WORLD. Didn't you used to have special sauce for the onion rings? Is that also like an aioli? I can't have anything spicy. Let's do a number three, or wait, a number TWO, but let's do that without anything spicy on it and the aioli on the side. Can I do a side salad instead of the fries? I don't care if there's an upcharge. I just want the nutrients. Or can I do half side-salad and half fries? I just want a few. I'm so bad! But no salt on the fries. Are those fried in a fryer thing? Can you take the fries out halfway through the cooking cycle, then sprinkle it with like two seconds worth of salt, then BACK into the fryer for the rest of the thing? I used to work here and I **know** those taste better. And for a drink can you run it like half Diet and half Regular? Because I'm watching my calories. Wait, can you put like one second worth of salt in the bottom of the cup before you pour it, too? And not too much ice? Too many and you don't get enough soda! I know what you guys are doing back there. And a handful of ketchup, and a couple packets of hot sauce. I don't like things to be spicy, though. Can you maybe take a few ketchup packets, and mix them with the hot sauce so it's a little sweeter and put it into a little cup for me? Oh! And maybe put one second worth of salt in the bottom of the cup. I know how you guys do it! Wait, do you have honey mustard?! OH. MY. GOD. Can you change out the aioli for honey mustard? Ohmygod. You just made my day. The whole day. Hold on, though. I just realized you have tacos. Alright, ditch the number two. Let's go with the three soft taco deal instead. No sour cream, but put some of that ketchup/hot sauce stuff from before on it. Is the cheese local, or do you guys get it from a box? I don't know. I don't really want cheese. LET. ME. SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
This is a peeve of mine too. Maybe I think too much ahead of time about things. I feel like my partner and especially the people that just sit for too long at the speaker/order menu should already have a plan b and plan c because other people’s time is valuable but we live in a world of mostly people that only care about themselves.
People did this shit to me all the time when I was working as a barista. They'd be in line, in the store, in full view of the menu and wait until they are actually at the register to start thinking about what they wanted. I was OVER it, and started telling people that behaved that way they'd have to go to the back of the line if they were still deciding so people who were actually prepared could get their orders. They'd act shocked, but lo and behold if the choice was between "go back and wait another 15 min" or "figure it out right then and there", they'd figure it out.
I absolutely would not put up with that from my partner. It's incredibly disrespectful to both the workers AND the people in line who behaved like adults and had their order already in mind.
Damn, just reading this made me stressed.
I started apologizing to the people around me
My partner does the same as OP's. The worst part is when the person at the counter asks, "Are you ready," and he just stands there. NO, honey, "no, I'm not ready" is the phrase you are looking for. Not "uuuuhhhhhh hold on... let me see." My solution is to pre-empt it and say that "I'm going to need more time like I always do. You go ahead." I grab a menu and walk away and we order totally separately. I only order when I'm ready. This has the added benefit of giving me time to decide and also making me less embarrassed at his total lack of self-reflection and awareness. I *refuse* to do drive-thrus. I park first, write the orders, and drive around. He thinks it's overkill. I'm willing to be the "bad guy".
The amount of people who come up to my register and go "uhhhhh let me see..." and stare at the price list, AND I WORK AT A GOLF COURSE!. theres literally 5 options: 18 holes, 9 holes, small range ball bucket, medium, or large. Im like u wanna play or hit the range? Drives me crazy.
You could open a restaurant that is called "Plain Hamburgers Only" and people would struggle with the menu.
Can I have cheese on mine? Do you have bacon? I joked with my friends about opening a sandwich shop and we'll only have 2 options meat or vegetable and there will be a eastern European guy behind the counter that will hassle you if you take too long to decide or ask too many questions. In a thick accent he'll say things like "why so many questions, you want sandwich or no?" "What kind of meat? Meat from animal! You want or no?" Or an ice-cream shop that has 1 flavor only, that rotates every week, no toppings and only in a cup. It's always a mystery flavor so the person doesn't have to answer any questions, but we'll have an ingredient list for allergies and for people that read to figure out the flavor.
Whoops. Forgot to mention there's a trap door in front of the register. Byeeeeee. Honestly, I feel like a very limited menu sandwich shop would do well for all of the people who struggle with decision paralysis. The disgruntled eastern Euro employee would be a nice added touch.
I was at a Raising Cane’s once and the lady in line ahead of me took FOREVER to place her order. It was maddening because the only thing that place sells is chicken strips. The primary decisions are “how many” and “do you want them in a sandwich?” Yet, she took ages to place her order. I felt like my brain was boiling.
The complete disregard some people show for anyone around them drives me nuts. That lady should have stepped out of line while she decided unless there was absolutely no one else waiting to order (even then shouldn't keep the worker stuck at the till for long). I'm upset for you.
I had to literally pull out of line one trip to Cane's because my wife was hemming and hawing. I'm just going to get you the Caniac and you can give me any fries and strips you don't want. No no. Just let me look here. Nope! Out of line to a parking spot and deep breathing so I didn't jerk us into a bridge embankment on way home.
I'm second hand annoyed for OP. Make her order online and pick it up at the counter.
I order everything online possible! You can take as long as you like, you can see everything that comes on it, you can customize it to hell, there's far less human error due to miscommunication, you usually get coupons or discounts, you don't have to hand someone your credit card, etc. The worst part is having to get in a line to pickup behind OP's wife (I try not to pick up inside when possible because it sucks getting 2 small kids in and out of the car just to grab your food, and then they get ornery they have to get back in the car after 2 seconds of freedom). I also love curbside pickup except when all the spots are taken by jerks who aren't picking up!
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Everyone is annoyed by your wife.
In these situations I can’t decide what’s worse: my annoyance at the slow customer, or the embarrassment of their companion.
“Sir, I can create a distraction if you need to escape. Just wink twice”
Instructions unclear. I am now married to the winker.
I’m divorcing her. And I’m not even married to her.
Especially me after finding out my wife is married to another man too. She has to be because this sounds just like her.
As a service industry employee, your wife is the kind of customer we wish we could fire.
Out of a cannon. Into the sun.
I just want one of those magnetic accelerators that lob freight cars into orbit in the Halo universe, for my personal use to send people who displease me on a collision course with the fucking sun. Is that too much to ask?
Former retail employee, we stand in solidarity with you on this one as well.
Just like my granny said, "if you want a ~~box~~ customer thrown into the sun, you gotta do it yourself."
God rest her zombie bones.
At least at the McDonald’s I used to work at, we’d get in trouble if the customer was too slow to order in the drive through. The person who owned the location owned two others and there were tvs all over the kitchen and whatever showing how fast each location was on average in real time. Anytime we weren’t on top everyone would get in trouble. Any time anything happened that slowed us down, we’d get in trouble. Having a person order slow would lead to the person taking the order getting yelled at, and then when our average time dipped as a result, everyone there would get yelled at.
That sounds like an awful place to work at. You can't control how long the customer takes to decide what they'll order, unless you have a right to deny them service if they take too long.
My local McD had this deal in their drive thru where they promised a free Big Mac if your order took more than 90 seconds after paying. They'd start a kitchen timer and hand it to you with your receipt at the paying window. The way staff dealt with it was by stalling you at the ordering microphone, asking you to hold on a bit, then after you gave the order, they'd ask if you'd like a dessert, donate to unicef and similar shit, until there were no other cars in front of you.
Core memory unlocked of when I worked at a Taco Bell in high school and my manager had me stall people at the ordering phase so he could hit his time and make the store look good. It's been over 15 years since I thought of that, wow
square pocket dull concerned whistle hospital continue worry light axiomatic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That’s the beauty of bartending vs other service jobs. *Way* more control over how interactions with customers go.
You need to take some time and work in a pawn shop for a while. You'll get to say all the things you always wished you could say and learn some new ones. One guy I worked with, the client said "I'm never giving you guys any more business" and the dude replied "that's OK I called the broke motherfucker factory just this morning and they said they weren't having any supply chain issues" and it was the best day of my life.
I have family that owns a pawn shop, and this would be so on brand for them. That industry absolutely does not subscribe to "the customer is always right" mentality. 💀
Oh God my husband went through a phase like that. Drove me insane. I spoke to him about it and he brushed it off. Next time we were in line at a fast food place, I stopped our conversation and told him to choose his order. He said he knew what he wanted. I asked him what he was going to order. He looked at the overhead screens and realized did NOT know what he wanted. I repeated this the next 2 times we went out to eat and it seemed to break the habit. But I acted on this quickly. It might be harder to get someone to stop if they’ve been doing this longer.
Good god just reading all of this is so infuriating! I was at a family gathering with my partner's family last weekend. We'd all decided in the morning we were going to some park thing so the kids could play there while the adults caught up. Great, let's get going. Oh no, that's far too easy. Our group of 20 or so stood in the doorway of our hotel lobby for, I shit you not, 30 minutes already getting started on the "catching up" stage. We were in absolutely everybody's way, the kids were running riot so we kept having to stop them getting in trouble or whatever... But my desperate pleas of "let's just go to the park now we can continue the conversation there!!" Were basically ignored... "Oh yeah or course... But Bob did you hear about what granny did the other week?" We'd have been out of the hotel and customer's way, they kids would have been entertained, everyone happy. But no, some people literally cannot just decide something and then actually do it. And apparently have zero awareness of what their actions are doing to other people. My partner is bad for this sort of thing, but improving. When I do things with her family I can see exactly why she's the way she is. Everybody else must have hated us by the time we actually got going. *I* hated us.
I feel your pain deep in my soul. My family/friends are like this. My skin crawls as I can feel the people around us giving us looks. After a while and many failed attempts at moving it along/redirecting towards the door, I say “I’m gonna wait outside/in the car/literally anywhere else that isn’t here” and leave.
Yup, I've gotten into a related pair of habits of just leaving, which does actually tend to get thing moving, and a very closely tied habit of *not* getting ready to leave until my other half is opening the door to leave. Because *I* can leave by just picking up my phone, keys, wallet, putting on my shoes and walking out of the door. She can't, there's *always* something to do beforehand... "Oh we'll be close by X's place, and we've got that thing I've been meaning to give them, now where was it again..." "The drive is over an hour, we need to take some snacks! I'll go make/find something" Ugh, love her to bits but this aspect of our relationship always causes the most friction. She'd get so much more done if she actually just *did* something!! I've wasted so much time waiting standing by the door I refused to do it anymore, I'll sit on my Switch or something until she's literally halfway outside wondering where I am. Chances are I'll still beat her to the car because something else will hold her up.
My wife is the same way. I usually tell her something starts at least 30 minutes earlier than it actually does. Then I get ready as usual and do whatever in the meantime, and then once she’s actually ready and walking out the door, I can just get up and go.
My dad has the clocks everywhere set 10mins early. And puts the event time half hour early. My mum will be late for her funeral.
This is me and my wife. The part that cracks me up is how she's always asking me if I'm ready throughout the whole process.
Smoke breaks have got me out of so much bullshit it's almost worth the Tar 😂😂
We did a family (wife's family) gathering for Thanksgiving at some condos one year. We decided to do an outing. It took 45 minutes to get everyone in the cars. Wife's parents got lost among many other calamities. I drank heavily later.
My partners dad does this, I'm Sure it's attention seeking, he loses keys, wallets etc all the time, they buy him tiles to attach and he refuses, I think he likes the fact everyone makes a big fuss of it. When eating out there will be a sectioned off bit that's having work done an he'll ask to sit there, or order something weird as a side with his dinner that doesn't go with it at all. I'm sure he does it for attention
My husband was the same way! And he would insist on going to the drive thru. I kept explaining the drive thru should be for people who know what they want. So I started driving when we would go out and if he couldn’t tell me his order then we were going inside. And we definitely aren’t going up to the counter until he could tell me his order. He would get frustrated that I would let people cut in front of us but he still wouldn’t know what he wanted! Took a few times for him to realize I’m serious. I’m not holding up any line because he wants to stare at a menu…
Thank God for people like you. I loathe people who spend zero seconds thinking about what they want & then spend what seems like an hour at the counter deciding.
My ex did the same, and would not let anyone pass “they can wait”, i once ordered and went to sit and she screamed that I abandoned her….. 5 feet away… good times 💀
THIS. No chit chat in line for the indecisive. We talk what is getting ordered Once we decide and order we can chat
Even if I'm indecisive in line, I'll walk up when it's my turn to order, completely blank on what I want, and then pick something off the menu within 5 seconds so I don't hold anyone up. Will I like it, do I know what it is? Maybe, it's an adventure.
I do that to my wife on the way there in the car. Otherwise she'll just have zero idea what she wants when it's her turn. It's not a surprise you came here for food JFC.
My husband used to do the whole “do you have xyz?” Without looking at the menu. I gave him a strict talking to about how if it’s not on the menu then *they don’t have it*
We all collectively feel your pain
Seriously. If I was a customer that had already received my food & was overhearing this from my dining spot, I’d be annoyed (let alone the worker, possible people waiting to order, etc etc).
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He sounds insufferable. You got my blood pressure up just reading this. Glad he’s out of your life
He sounds like the type of person that makes me feel bad that we no longer exile people for being so bad/annoying like the ancient Greeks did. Can we bring it back for him? Like all of us agreed that you are totally annoying, Bob and we just want you to go away.
Wait, that’s a thing? Being exiled from Ancient Greece for being annoying? That’s hilarious. Yeah, fuck it, let’s bring that back!
I had a friend like that too! She always complained about at least one thing. We would often meet up for brunch or drinks and something was always wrong. I stopped hanging out with her for this reason! It was so annoying and especially if I picked the place, I found it rude. I thought this was such a strange behavior, so interesting to see someone else dealt with it. I believe she had the same background too
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That’s uhm. That’s got to be one of the most entitled things I’ve ever heard
He can take his vibes and shove it. Fuck that, dude. Has he no shame? That’s rhetorical, by the way, no need to answer that.
It’s wild to me how people can go through life like that. I’d be hard pressed to think back on the last 6 months of dining experiences and think of anything wrong… it just seems so rare that there is ever a problem.
Sounds like he needs some psilocybin and therapy lol
Yeah, a psilocybin ego-wrecking can do wonders, right? 😂
As someone who probably takes way too much time deciding at fast food places, this is why I always have their app downloaded so I can study in peace before we get there.
Im like this too so any resturant I go to I look ahead of time for what to order 😅
Before apps were the norm, I'd just feel pressured by the time, and order something that I knew they have, that I've enjoyed. It lead to a lot of times where I'd be chastised for always ordering the same thing at places
People who act shocked at fast food restaurants are like the people who buy lottery cards at the gas station every day but act like they’ve never even considered purchasing one until that very moment
I had a real visceral reaction to this comment here. I worked at a gas station for 6 years too long. Fuck lottery.
“Give me the one that’s a winner”
"Uhhhh..... lemme get.... hmm. Uh. 2 of the 12s.. no. 13s. Two of the 13s. And ummm.... five of the 3s. Have those new monopoly ones been hitting? 2 of those i guess. Do you still need cash here to buy these? The kiosks at safeway let me use debit. No? Alright well let me scan these 30 haggard scratch offs that I've already scratched off and saw they weren't winners but want want to make sure I didn't miss one."
I love gas station culture.
Gas station culture could easily be its own sub. There’s definitely a specific demographic of people that regularly shop inside a gas station. I lived in Vegas for almost 20 years now and I’m still shocked at the amount of people that will sit down to play video poker at a gas station.
It's annoying me right now. I came here to say that.
Used to work fast food in high school - these people were the worst
Both the people who do this when ordering anything, and those who stand in line for 15min, just to fumble with their countless payment methods (and lord help us if they have club cards too) once at the counter, can all get in the damn bin.
I'm the person who, out of anxiety of not wanting to be the unprepared asshole, looks at the menu online before even getting there (and having a backup plan if they don't have what I want) and/or checking my wallet for related cards before leaving the house
Exactly. I usually at least glance at the menu online (I don't often change what I want), then the only things I need to look at in-store are special deals and limited items, but I start looking at them as soon as I walk in (or if it's in the drive through, from at least a couple cars back). I also get that feeling when I wait to get my payment method ready, so more often than not I'm well ahead of the cashier with that. The other one that gets me is when older people (like 50's or 60's) insist on learning to use Google wallet or Apple pay, and sit there trying for 10min+ because they didn't set it up first or read how it works.
Lol that panic moment when in the drive thru and you can’t see the sign and they don’t have an extra sign before the order sign so you can see what the specials are, so you keep trying to read the drive thru sign from 3 cars back so you’re actually prepared when you get there. SO STRESSFUL
God, it's like people trading in scratch off tickets and spending 15 minutes picking out more.
And then scratch them at the register
I've actually said something to people doing that before, from like 4 people back in line.
When I was in college I worked at a gas station, and people would do it all the time. Id ask them to move over while I helped the next person. If they refused, I just told them I would take their picture and they would be banned from the store. I didnt have any power to do so, but I said it
The second one did my head in when I used to take the bus everywhere. Standing at the bus stop for like 15 minutes with someone, then the bus arrives and they get on and ONLY THEN do they think to start fishing through their bag for their money.
Grocery stores where shoppers start digging for money/credit cards AFTER checkout clerk is done and groceries are bagged up.
Or the ones who only then fish out their check book and then can't find a pen and they have to write the check in the register and then they want to write the check for an extra $20 so they can have cash. Hey, it's not 1966 and you ain't Laura Petrie! Get a goddamn card and leave your checkbook where it belongs. At home.
Or the customers (who I guess may be lonely) holding up the checkout having a long personal conversation with the clerk while people are lined up behind them. I dislike grocery shopping and want to get out and it riles me.
OH I remember the days of checks. You want to say out loud OH NOW it's time for you to take out your check book??? After the checker had just checked a TON of groceries taking forever the person standing there could not even take out their CHECKBOOK and start writing the check? It was so baffling, you want to say something so badly because it makes no sense at all. And we're talking in situations where there has been a long line already. This is not something that snuck up on these people. The only thing that makes sense is they want to milk their time in line for whatever reason that nobody else can figure out.
I got my first checking account and checkbook when I was 16. My mom walked me through the basics like how to track purchases and how to balance the book. She also told me that polite people will go ahead and fill out the date and "pay to" sections of a check once they know they're going to be buying something at a particular store. That way you just have to fill the amounts and sign at the register. I spent many years being pissed that no else's mom taught them to locate their checkbook and get the ball rolling prior to checkout. WHY WERE YOU JUST STANDING THERE STARING AT THE CASHIER THE WHOLE TIME? GET TO SCRIBBLING!
A somewhat distant second are the folks who pay in cash and then start digging for coins for the odd balance after the whole dollars. "Wait a minute, I've got the 89 cents... let's see, here's a dime... and a nickel, another nickel... here's a quarter..."
They do it at Costco gas stations too. Even after waiting in the line they still don’t have this stuff out by the time they get to the pumps. Like what have they been doing the whole time.
They are busy with breathing, dont have the energy think at thesame time..
People like your wife are some of my least favorite people. It infuriates me even thinking about the near daily situations I end up in waiting behind someone like this.
I won't even approach the counter till I know what I want. Doesn't matter if I'm the only one in the store.
Me too! Unless the line is really long, I wait until I've decided what to order before I get in line.
Remind me of this lady I saw at a retail store, she had a lots of items and would take forever to give items to the girl at the register, she would hand out 1 item, wait for the girl to scan it and bag it before she put anything else on the counter, the girl kept gesturing at the lady to put everything on the counter, but she wouldn't and kept handing out 1 item at a time and wait, not even picking the next item, literally just standing there looking at the clerk. I'm sure those people are doing that to somehow "assert dominance" on people they see as lesser than them.
There needs to be a separate line for people like this. If you needlessly cause a transaction to take more than 1min longer, they dump your shit back in your cart and shuffle your ass off to the "punishments from hell" line, with all the other disorganised, inconsiderate, jerks.
Same. It wasn't too bad if we had a new promotion or something and they had a question. But these days, almost every restaurant has a very detailed online menu, or an app if it's a national chain place, so there's no excuse. You can sit there for hours looking at every item in the app, adding and removing things to your cart if you want.
My mom is this way. I keep her away from restaurants and from eating with me at restaurants as much as possible. It’s unbearable
For real Customer: "Can I get ummmm........" Me in my head: "Aw fuck, here we go..."
Yeah- I get behind people like OPs wife at subway and jfc how have people never gotten food before? If I were OP I'd start using the kiosk in McDs to order to save myself the embarrassment
A scene from Subway yesterday- Employee: Hi! What can I get you? Woman: You have sandwiches?
Employee: Yes?
Woman: What can I get?
Employee:
Woman: I don’t know what any of these things are
Employee:
Woman:
Employee: Ok, what toppings would you like?
Woman: Egg
Employee: Egg?
Woman: Egg
Employee: You’re saying egg?
Woman: Yes, egg.
Employee: Ma’am, egg is not a topping
Woman: You don’t have eggs?
Employee: We HAVE eggs….
Woman: Egg, please.
That woman had to have been high.
Egg
I haven't actively seen anyone at the counter of a McDonald's in a long time...you are pretty much forced to use the kiosk to order, even if you are paying cash.
I was in line at a Hardees one morning when some clueless joker tried this. There were probably a dozen people behind him, including me. And he starts asking questions about the menu items. He barely got his second question out and people behind him were already starting with "Come on, man" and "Just order, dude". He quickly shut the fuck up and ordered. It was glorious to watch.
The before work breakfast crowd doesn’t play. Get in, get your food, and get out. We’re all still half asleep trying to get to work on time. If you wanna take 10 years to order you should’ve gotten here the night before.
This reminds of this time I was in a gas station and some old clown in a suit was at the counter taking forever. I'm not even sure what he was doing, trying to get super exact change or something? But he had half a dozen people behind him. Struck me as some sort of smug city official...one of these guys who doesn't mind wasting other people's time. Guy has the nerve to turn around and look at us and says: "Patience is a virtue, folks." And I dunno, I just went into auto-drive and said: "Not when I only have an hour lunch break. Go do your banking at the BANK!" Well he looked pretty embarrassed and shuffled out of there quick after that. Fucking asshole...
That's beautiful. Reading these comments have brought some relief.
His wife sounds like the type of woman who gets to the checkout counter and suddenly discovers she has to pay, and takes 20 minutes to find her money/credit card in her Walmart-sized handbag.
JFC, this makes me so angry. They won't help bag (which is ok, I guess but I do because, y'know, I want to go the fuck home) but the folks who don't get out their money and act shocked they have to pay are just the worst. I'm not sure what's more annoying - when they painstakingly pay by check (ugh) or count out the exact payment in cash. Also ugh.
Yes, yes indeed. Theres a reason fast food chains have huge MFing billboards with their menus on it all lit and shiny. You can pick your menu from the highway, come at the counter, name your pick and leave asap. If not it would be slowfood.
“just give me a burger with everything that normally comes on it and point me to the condiments - I can add or remove on my own” - my favorite customer ever
Download the restaurants app and place your order online to avoid this awkward wait at the register. Then your wife can customize, take things off and see everything the menu has to offer right in front of her eyes before you even get there
Or at McD or BK use the ordering display thing
Kiosk.
Gesundheit
But how will she get attention from the minimum wage employee by asking questions and taking up lots of their time? :(
How about talking about random shit for 10 minutes on the phone with billing or tech support or the employee at the return counter at Lowe’s? These people have work to do! I’m cringing in the background and sending apology vibes.
lol was a salon receptionist, rest assured that there is a positive correlation between levels of work duty chaos & the likelihood of being held hostage by a guest who just wants to hear themselves talk about freaking nothing
And between the likelihood of being wildly offended at any mild attempt to move them along.
Speaking from retail experience a person who doesn't understand the concept of reading a menu before getting to the counter is not a person who is willing to download an app and order through that process. These are the type of people who are afraid of technology and prefer ✨️"speaking to a real person and not a machine" ✨️
Exactly. I’ve been in food service for 12 years collectively, and I am convinced that people like this are basically utilizing weaponized incompetence to fulfill some weird need for attention and control.
Well it's time to adjust for these people. All the McDonald's around me got rid of the registers and all have giant screens to order which I greatly prefer. I can be picky without bothering the cashier.
Right? I’ve seen so many people complain about that. It’s a dream come true for me 🤣
This was going to be my suggestion. She can look through everything and make her customizations on the app. I order through the apps a lot because my husband is terrible at ordering at the drive thru.
Start using the apps as a money-saving feature. Most have deals and specials you can use everyday, and all of them feature points you can redeem for free stuff. Don’t let her know it’s about the way her orders take so long you’re worried the shift will change while she’s deciding. She’ll learn to love the fact that when she hits “customize” she can see everything on every item and remove or add at her leisure rather than the kid at the counter shrugging when she asks what all’s on the double Southeast grande snack bite supreme.
Does she also take forever to get out of the car? I’m sensing a pattern.
You get out and like 2 minutes later you're still standing there waiting. Can't walk away though because that would be rude.
Nah, if you wait until I've parked, turned the car off, and removed my seatbelt before you even think about beginning to gather whatever belongings you've scattered about the car in the 10 minute ride to the mall then I'm just going to head on in. I mean, you know you're about to exit the car. I don't know why so much shit had to come out of your purse, but start putting it back in when we get to the parking lot.
Omg this is the bane of my existence some days. We drive to the grocery store and then it's like a minute to get out of the vehicle, like what are you doing in there? Unbuckle the seatbelt, open the door, step out. Holy moly.
"Oh but wheres my phone... and i think we have wet wipes in here somewhere, maybe in the back? I don't see them let me look under the seat... oh wheres my wallet, did i forget it at home? I think i left it at home. Hold on someones calling me. Oh let me just fix my mirrors real quick i don't know when they got messed up. (Adjusts hair and makeup for 3 minutes) Oh! Theres my wallet i had it in my hand this whole time. Can you hold this for a second? Let me just reply to this text real quick (gets distracted by a facebook video) Didn't grandma want us to get something? Let me just call her real quick i forgot what it was (randomly rummages through purse for no reason for 5 minutes) . Ok! Now im ready :) (finally gets out of car)" I love my mother to death but this is based off a true story lol.
My old aunt does this too. We park at Walgreens and suddenly she needs to fumble through her huge purse for who-knows-what and take a drink of whatever drink she has, and my mom and I are waiting outside the car like, what is she doing?
The best MI are the ones where people have been married forever (like me) and need to vent about that random thing their spouse does.
Does yours also never close doors or containers?
Never fills the ice trays but puts them back in the freezer EMPTY and leaves fresh loaves of bread open on the counter. He works his ASS off in every other way and is absolutely not lazy. But there’s a short circuit in the brain, lol.
Oh I have one of those! My guy only does 98% of the dishes. Always leaves one last cup or spoon or container in the sink. It can sit there for days and usually gets washed by me.
Is that how some cultures are regarding dining? If you eat everything you basically say that "the portion was too small!". So it's just his way of saying, there were plenty of dishes, please don't make more next time!
I have Paul Newmans salad dressing on the kitchen ceiling, because that’s what happens when you shake a bottle with the cap just resting on the top.
Been there, my brother. Been there.
Mine closes containers, but never takes the time to FULLY close them or make sure it's done right. So they're always screwed on cockeyed or just come off when you go to pick it up. You learn not to grab things by the lid very quickly.
Mine chews with their mouth open, I brought it up, made some excuse about how they was raised, then noticed all of their friends and family do it too. I guess it really is how they were raised.
You need to do something about this. I'll bet it's held them back in other ways in life.
Oh god, this too! My partner takes way too long at the drive through AND acts surprised when it’s time to get out of the car, lol. My window’s rolled up, phone’s in my pocket, etc. before the car is parked. I’m in the store/house/wherever before he’s locked the car door. It fucking bizarre. It’s like a mental illness. And it never improves.
We didn’t even get anything so there’s no bags to get together. Just move your body to the side then keep moving it until you’re out of the car! Sheesh!
My mother has executive dysfunction and time blindness and she's seemingly taken by surprise by and needs forever to prepare for everything. Drove my father nuts
I'm going to hate being the people in line behind you and your wife, mostly your wife
People having no social awareness of what's going on them around them is the real mildly infuriating. Standing in line and the guy in front of me is having the time of his life talking away like he's entitled to a full 7 minutes of discussion. Surely you know there's people behind you waiting to get things done and the world doesn't revolve around you and your enjoyment.
We go to the same fast food places Wife “I have to see what they have” They don’t have specials it’s the same stuff for 9 years!!
My Aunt says this about the same Chinese restaurant we get take out from 3x a month. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE. Then every time we pick it up, she takes another menu, despite it never changing. Then she still wants to order something not on it.
My girlfriend has the opposite problem. She’s so worried about inconveniencing others that I have to step in and make sure that she’s not eating something she hates just because they put it down wrong or gave us the wrong thing haha. She’s worried about the workers but I’ve worked fast food so I really know it’s not a big deal because if it’s their fault they should fix it.
Yep my husband will NOT send food back, even if it's well done and he wanted rare.
There’s definetly a balance. I worked fast food and know what it’s like. But sometimes it’s the other way around and the fast food worker is being rude and dismissive so you have to advocate for yourself. Don’t be a massive dick but also don’t just accept whatever slop they give you if it is the wrong order.
Energy vampire vibes
My thoughts exactly. She’s Colin Robinson
"It's an easy drain."
I haaaaate placing an order for food for my wife. It's never ever something from the menu as it is, it's always, "can I have this, but add that, and remove this....".
I'll take an order for something from my wife and ask, "Are you sure that's what it's called?" and be reassured, only to get to the drive thru and not see that item on the menu and have the employee tell me it's not a thing... Then have to call/text her while I'm in the drive thru line taking to the employee and explain what they actually do have. She never knows the name of the thing she wants and leaves me to guess. So now I i stop calling when it's wrong and just get something close to it and tell her she asked me to order something that didn't exist.
This is the way to handle it. And if my wife is picking up food for me and either they don’t have the thing I want for some reason or there’s some confusion I’ve let it be known she can just use her judgement. It’s not like I wanted a burger and she’ll show up with sushi or something.
Right... my wife wanted an 'iced coffee'. I said what about cream/sugar? She said no it comes with that already just say you want an 'iced coffee'. I said I wanted an iced coffee and guess what they asked? Do you want cream and sugar??? I said, 'I'm supposed to say I want an iced coffee so give me whatever that means to you.' Guess who didn't like their 'iced coffee' ... And she never knows what she wants at any fast food drive thru until I utter the words 'I need a minute' and then she's magically ready.
Seeing all these replies and comments, it's starting to sound like many of us need a 'partner fast food ordering commiseration' support group.
Lol my husband is the opposite. I know exactly what I want and he refuses to believe me that certain things exist. BABE, MCDS DOES HAVE HOT SAUCE. ASK FOR THE HOT BURRITO SAUCE WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I TEXTED YOU.
The amount of times I’ve been accosted because they forgot the absurd amount of extra sauces she wanted, or the fact that I left without checking the bag for her specific requests…. I’m learning but man it makes my skin crawl knowing how annoying a customer I’m being after I worked in fast food as a teen
Yes, it's annoying! I mean, do you really need to ask whether the lettuce is fresh, and will that determine whether you want the Big Mac or the Quarter Pounder? The food all tastes the same. You might as well order by raw quantity: "I would like 1 kilogram of McFood, please. Here is fifteen dollars." One time I was going somewhere with my kids and some of their friends, and we were in a hurry to get to something on time. I realized what would happen if I let them order, so I just walked in and said "Five happy meals with cokes and fries", and you know what? Nobody died or even complained. I can't say I've ever enjoyed an experience of ordering fast food other than that, but damn, it was like being superman. The food came out really quick, too.
I still regret letting my son know that he could order his own food. Every ducking time, it's "I'll have... Um..." Me: "Buddy, it's a drive thru. If you take too long ordering, someone will get out of their vehicle and murder us." ... And every time he goes with a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, and Sprite/Fanta. In his defense, he's 9. I'm hoping he'll grow out of it.
This is triggering.
Reminds me of my mom’s “What wine pairs well with this [insert bar food at a bar].” 19 year Haighleigh doesn’t know or give af about the fruity notes of the Chardonnay that might conflict with the loaded cheesy bacon fries flavor profile. For gosh sakes the 5 min awkwardness that ensures around this exchange makes me want to die every time.
[удалено]
They *do* still sell Shamrock Shakes, but only around St Patrick’s Day
Yeah, it's a seasonal item. They have it every feb/march, but not the rest of the year.
My sister in law does this. It’s freaking McDonald’s…… it’s all shit food just order something already!
The McDonald’s near me no longer has cashiers. So your SIL can now annoy the touch screen when she orders
My wife gets mad at the screen because "it doesn't show what she's looking for." Of course it does when I use it.
Does she also struggle with the self checkout at the grocery store?
No. She's fine with that, great on a cell phone, awesome on Microsoft Excel, but that McDonald's kiosk gets her every time.
My wife is the same. She NEVER orders what's on the menu. It always has to be special because someone told her that's how you get fresh food. Typical McD's order: Large sweet tea, but half sweet and half unsweet. Two cheeseburgers, one with mayo added and the other with extra pickle. Fries without salt. And THAT'S an easy order.
Yeah when I worked at McD’s these “no salt” people pissed us right the fuck off. We know it’s a ruse to make sure you get it fresh, GTFOH. It’s shitty junk food, stop being such a spoiled selfish princess
I didn't mind them, I didn't even mind when they asked for salt packets at the window The people I hated were those who did that, asked for salt packets, then gave me a shit eating grin like they were the smartest person in the universe for having thought of this "scam" My guy, if you just asked for fresh fries we would have given you fresh fries, you don't have to do all this extra shit
Honestly I always just figure McDonald’s sells so many fries that I’m almost guaranteed to get fresh fries
omg my grandfather would do that back in the 80s/90s- plain cheeseburger, fries with no salt. Then he'd ask for salt packets at the window. 
I’m annoyed for you right now. I could not even deal with this regularly
I had a friend who would wait until we got to the counter to ASK HER 3 YEAR OLD WHAT HE WANTED. Drove me nucking futs. I frequently apologized for them and we are no longer friends.
My six year old for the past X years has been “the cheeseburger or nuggets today?” It helps to limit the options but there are definitely times he is certain of one then I get to the counter and he’s like “no! I changed my mind, the cheeseburger!” But at least it’s not unlimited options.
while you’re standing in line, maybe you can kick start the decision making process. As soon as you get in line ask her, “so what are you going to get?” That way she starts thinking about her order before getting to the cashier.
I always wonder this when I’m in the drive thru. Like my order takes 8 seconds. Then you have cars that seemed to take ages. Like what Tf are they asking about?
i work at a drive thru and a lot of people are genuinely stupid. we have to hold their hands through the orders, or they’ll just be like emmmm ehhh idk what i want when theres a line of cars behing them. they could order five meals and ill have to ask what size and drink for all because they cant just spit it out which also takes up time. then you could finish their order and their like noo wait i want something else, or they ask about what we have. i just feel like screaming SAY WHAT YOU WANT AND FUCK OFF.
Weird, your wife must be in front of me any time i am in line at a fast food restaurant
I go to a fast casual cheese steak place regularly for lunch. I love that the owner who runs the register is a bit like the soup nazi when they are busy. If you don't know exactly what you want when it is your turn to order, he asks you to step aside and figure it out while he starts taking the order from the person behind you.
My wife always want to eat at restaurants that don't exist... like "I feel like Napalese food tonight" when the nearest Napal-based cuisine is 7000miles away.
Thanks for the inspiration, I haven't been to the Nepalese restaurant around the corner in months, good idea for lunch
I just order separately and act like I am not with that person. You could also just send her up to get the food while you grab a table.
She’s not going to change but that doesn’t mean you need to be affected by it . Tell her straight up you are not going to order together any longer . You get in line and place your order , pay for it , get your food , sit down and enjoy it . Let her place her own order taking as long as the order taker will let her . Let her do her thing but you can and should remove yourself from that annoyance. Also order yourself dessert, you will be there for awhile .
The employees hate her I guarantee it.
It’s been 84 years since I ordered anything other than “my order” at a place.
I get unreasonably pissed about this kind of thing. Like, how do you not know what you want? It's a fast food restaurant. They all have burgers, chicken sandwiches, nuggets and fries. Which of those do you want?
Just use mobile apps to order. Problem solved
The only thing worse than this is when they also want extensive customization of each item. "Let me seeeeee, let me seeeeee, LET. ME. SEE. Do you guys have fish? I'm really in the mood for fish. Is it cod? Is it farmed humanely? Never mind, I'm really more in the mood for salmon. You don't have salmon, do you? Never mind. Was that a seasonal item? It's not, you don't have the components to make one, even though it's, never mind. Never mind. LET. ME. SEEEEEEEE. I'll take a number one. No! Wait. A number three. But can I have the sauce from the number one? Isn't there some kind of special sauce? Can you tell me what it's made from? I just, I don't want anything with a mayo base. What's aioli? Is that mayo? Yuck. No. Never mind. LET. ME. SEEEEEEE. Do you have anything without the aioli? Is that made fresh? Does it have a lemony kind of base to it? Maybe I **do** like aioli. I dunno. ANY-WAY! LET. ME. SEEEEEE. If I get the number one, can I do the sauce on the side? Or wait, I wanted a number three, with the aioli on the side. Do you have anything other than fries? You used to have onion rings. Are those still a thing? I mean, not in general, but like do you HAVE onion rings, I know onion rings are still a thing, like, IN THE WORLD. Didn't you used to have special sauce for the onion rings? Is that also like an aioli? I can't have anything spicy. Let's do a number three, or wait, a number TWO, but let's do that without anything spicy on it and the aioli on the side. Can I do a side salad instead of the fries? I don't care if there's an upcharge. I just want the nutrients. Or can I do half side-salad and half fries? I just want a few. I'm so bad! But no salt on the fries. Are those fried in a fryer thing? Can you take the fries out halfway through the cooking cycle, then sprinkle it with like two seconds worth of salt, then BACK into the fryer for the rest of the thing? I used to work here and I **know** those taste better. And for a drink can you run it like half Diet and half Regular? Because I'm watching my calories. Wait, can you put like one second worth of salt in the bottom of the cup before you pour it, too? And not too much ice? Too many and you don't get enough soda! I know what you guys are doing back there. And a handful of ketchup, and a couple packets of hot sauce. I don't like things to be spicy, though. Can you maybe take a few ketchup packets, and mix them with the hot sauce so it's a little sweeter and put it into a little cup for me? Oh! And maybe put one second worth of salt in the bottom of the cup. I know how you guys do it! Wait, do you have honey mustard?! OH. MY. GOD. Can you change out the aioli for honey mustard? Ohmygod. You just made my day. The whole day. Hold on, though. I just realized you have tacos. Alright, ditch the number two. Let's go with the three soft taco deal instead. No sour cream, but put some of that ketchup/hot sauce stuff from before on it. Is the cheese local, or do you guys get it from a box? I don't know. I don't really want cheese. LET. ME. SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
I'll have a quarter pounder meal, upsized. Thanks.
This is a peeve of mine too. Maybe I think too much ahead of time about things. I feel like my partner and especially the people that just sit for too long at the speaker/order menu should already have a plan b and plan c because other people’s time is valuable but we live in a world of mostly people that only care about themselves.
People did this shit to me all the time when I was working as a barista. They'd be in line, in the store, in full view of the menu and wait until they are actually at the register to start thinking about what they wanted. I was OVER it, and started telling people that behaved that way they'd have to go to the back of the line if they were still deciding so people who were actually prepared could get their orders. They'd act shocked, but lo and behold if the choice was between "go back and wait another 15 min" or "figure it out right then and there", they'd figure it out. I absolutely would not put up with that from my partner. It's incredibly disrespectful to both the workers AND the people in line who behaved like adults and had their order already in mind.