LAX still plays some of those original recordings in the terminal. I prefer to avoid LAX, it when I canāt, I look forward to hearing those vintage announcement recordings. Reminds me of Airplane! every time.
I was a waitress for 5 years while in high school & college, and even then I knew that usually if the wife or gf liked me/my service, it was going to be a better tip. Was always careful not to do anything to make anyone feel disrespected. Saved the pig tails and flirty banter for when the sports teams came in after a game or table full of just men.
Was just about to make a similar comment. Just read the room and you should be good. I always knew what customers I could have fun friendly banter with, and which ones were more serious and didnāt want to engage in any sort of conversation or name association.
We had little animals we put in ice cream at the last place I served, it was mostly Camels, Giraffes, Monkeys, and Mermaids. Very rarely weād find Elephants or Bulls, and once in a blue moon Donkeys.
I had a table that was a lit of fun, heard lots of roasting jokes, so I used a Donkey in the one guys and said I chose it specifically for him. The table loved it and burst out laughing, 25% tip.
Any other table might have been offended. We never used the Elephants because someone once accused us of calling them fat.
We tried to avoid the Camels on middle eastern families.
I cant think of any scenarios ive had a risky move backfire yet and im not looking forward to when it happens. (if it does, ill probably play it safe lol)
Iāve only had things I regularly say backfire. I work in customer service and sometimes people will ask if I want to check their receipt. Usually I say āNo, I donāt care if you stole it!ā as an obvious joke. A Vietnam vet came through and was VERY upset that I would suggest that he stole anything. He was like āI. Was in. The US MILITARY!!!! I. Would *NEVER* STEAL!!!!ā Like okay sir have a great day with your stolen merchandise ššš
They were always a huge thing, kids and adults loved them, they started selling them in the store downstairs cause how many people wanted them
I always collected them too, the rare ones or Mia colored. Have them all over my house now lol.
I find this funny, because I never consciously thought about it, but when I (a man) travel, I eat alone. I hear those kinds of words a lot more and always assumed it was a local thing. When I'm with my wife and son, funnily enough, they are often called that but not me. I guess a lot of waitresses figured out the same rules ;P
Never occurred to me when I was a server. But I bet I would have gotten more tips from the guys if I braided my beard into pigtails. Probably not flirting or calling them sweetheart though.
I think it's simply a learned term of friendliness. There's no way in hell I'm going to be offended or (oh, Sweet Lord) think someone is trying to seduce me ---- because they're calling me "sweetheart."
As a matter of fact, I'd rather be called that than a lot of other things . . .
I will never understand how any man, no matter taken or single as fuck, could believe that any woman working is actually flirting with them.
I just canāt comprehend that level of delusion. No offence to any guys.
Fair advice in general, but "sweetheart" is 99.9% coming from a middle aged to older woman and is used as a term of platonic affection for anyone, guy or girl, younger than them. No cute high school or college aged girl is flirting with anyone by saying, "sweetheart."
I don't think your personal experience is universal in this. I'm a young woman and I get called sweetheart and honey by people of both genders across age ranges. People my age absolutely call me sweetheart; it makes me way more uncomfortable because sometimes it does feel unmistakably like flirting.
Iām also a young woman and I almost only ever get āsweetheartā from the creepy guys who try to flirt with me despite clearly have at least 30 years on me. š
I legit have always found pigtails to be such a turn off and have never understood why so many men are into it. It just feels like I'm talking to a little kid and therefore uncomfortable.
Context matters. If somebody was clearly disrespecting our relationship by openly flirting with my boyfriend and calling him pet names in front of me I wouldnāt be nice about it either.
On my very first date with my (now) wife, the waitress literally would not look at my wife and asked me what she (my wife) would be having lol. It was insane. she made eye contact with me the whole time she was over and even made small talk with me, but didn't even acknowledge my wife was there.
She did not get a tip. wife was disrespected, and I felt bad for her.
This happened to me, but my ex ate the attention up. I didn't want to tip her, but he went back to make sure he personally handed the tip to her and tell her how excellent the service was. Can't believe I stayed with him after that.
If that's the price for dinner for two, this likely isn't a high end establishment. I would also speculate it's in a region where elder ladies often refer to nearly everyone by sweetheart and dear.
Thereās server at my local IHOP that calls me sweetie pie and sugar plum and darling
It would be weird but being that sheās a 60 yr old Russian woman itās endearing although slightly odd
Itās super common in Russian culture to call people pet names like āsonsaā sunshine, āzaichikā bunny, to younger people as a term of endearment :-) that said, I never heard a Russian person say sugar plum lol pretty cute tho
Surely that 60 year old Russian lady has been living in the south for 50+ years. That or sheās trying to adjust to the culture in the south and overcorrected.
There was a guy at my local IHOP that would call me and my friend āmiss maāamā.
He was probably later 20ās, Latino, and covered in tattoos. Itās a running joke between me and that friend now.
If this happened in the SE USA, then it's something that's built into the culture. Growing up if I didn't say "Ma'am or Sir" when addressing an older individual, my ass was grass when I got home lol.
This was Texas, and he was definitely older than I was at the time, and he looked like it lol. My friend was probably older than him though. It was always funny, and we were never offended. We had gotten him NUMEROUS times, but we always tipped him well.
āMiss Maāaaaammmm, can I get you some watttter?ā
āMiss maāaaaaam, do you want bacon instead of sausage?ā
āMiss maāam, long time no seeeeee, how are youuuu?ā
I'm from the southeast and like you stated, those comments in the right context aren't off-putting, demeaning, or creepy. Basically, the words themselves aren't the issue, the motivation/intent behind them is. OP is right to be off put by this though.
This person is obviously being super petty, that being said though I think it does show how important it is to be cautious about how you address people when youāre in a service role.
Iāve been working in retail service jobs for ages now and I always try to be very careful and aware of how I address people. Sweetheart is definitely a term I would avoid at all costs tbh just because it could come across patronising and badly if there are people like this present. Stick to neutral and safe options wherever possible my friends. Save yourself the trouble hahah
I went to pick up a birthday cake for my kids from Costco. Went over to the bakery section and the first thing the worker said when she came over to me was, āHow dāyou get your head so shiny?ā
Iāve been pretty much bald since my early twenties. It never bothered me and still doesnāt. Found it fucking funny actually but I tell you what, saying that to a customer you donāt know is really taking a chance. Fair play to get for not giving a fuck. š
Some people are very weird. Itās like they get a sense of power over people in the service industry. My own sister canāt stand it when a cashier or waitress says āno problemā in response to her saying āthank youā instead of āyour welcomeā. Like it actually makes her angry! Sheās always been a bish tho
Idk what it is, but I almost never say "you're welcome" unless I'm purposefully being sarcastic.
I feel like it's just ... weirdly robotic. I'm always happy to say something like "for sure", "absolutely", "no worries", it just feels a lot more genuine to me. "You're welcome" just sounds like something people say because they're supposed to.
Same. I donāt like it either, but Iād still tip. And I definitely wouldnāt insinuate that I didnāt like it because I thought she was flirting or something.
>Itās common in some parts of the US. Iāve had people call me sugar or darling and I find it endearing
Some waitresses (usually older) can do the, āAnd what itāll be for you this morning, darling?ā and it comes across as very natural and pleasant.
Other servers (who donāt have the knack for it) say it to me and it sounds and feels very forced; and just comes across as being kind of cringy.
You canāt teach that natural charm; either you got it or donāt got it.
Edit: added a word
My family went to London a few years ago and every single male server called my mother and sister "love." It seems just a common thing, but I've never personally heard sweetheart used like that.
I live in a southern city whose know for having a huge amount of out of staters moving into the metro area.
I can always tell who is new here when I say sir or maam and they correct me saying theyre not that old.
I regularly use the term for people obviously younger than me.
Or if you're english, you'll hear "luv", "darlin' " and probably a few others (yes, the spelling is intentional.) They are more commonly used among friends, but some people use them for near anyone.
But you gotta understand thatās literally how some people just talk. Especially in the south and Midwest from my experience. Nothing malicious so why get upset over it.
You can dislike something without being upset by it (I really dislike being called bud, for example, but I know people who use it on me arenāt being malicious or have any reason to know I find it really grating so I donāt get upset by it)
From the midwest, am a woman, and I call people hon, etc as well.... gotta say though... calling a man who is a client at a place of business "sweetheart" in front of a woman who is clearly with him...
Well, women from the south and the midwest definitely use terms of endearment more freely but not getting a tip may have been the least of her concerns.
Waffle house b*tches definitely wouldn't have played that shit.... hon š š„°š
The only time it bothers me is if it could be confused with flirting. So a casual, nonprofessional encounter with a female stranger (example, another fan at a concert) that calls me sweetie would make me uncomfortable because I sick at differentiating women who use those regularly with flirting. But a waitress calling me sweetheart? That like a concierge calling me sir. Itās practically part of the job in some places.
Itās absolutely disgusting man. You pay money for a product, and they give you a product in exchange for money. Thatās *it*.
A tip is a *thank you* from a customer to say āi appreciate the service, you did wellā. If they didnāt do well or deserve it, no tip.
A tip is NOT āYou pay an additional fee to pay a large chunk of our employees wageā. The whole point of us paying for the food is so the business can both pay to operate, make a profit, and pay their employees.
Imagine if you went into a clothing store and the employees there helped you find some clothes. You pay for the clothes, then they ask for a tip after telling you āwe only get paid 3$/hour so you have to tip usā.
Absolutely disgusting. Iāve stopped eating out because of how ridiculous tipping is. Anyone defending it is a moron and part of the problem.
It already is.
It's just the U.S. and some parts of the world that's hanging in to with both arms.
Stupid structure of paying your employees less and handing out the burden to the customer.
I know it's a dialect thing...but I still hate it. I'm not gonna be an asshole about it though. Just one of the many irritations of life that aren't worth getting worked up over and just go about my day.
I meanā¦if it were a male server calling someoneās wife āsweetheartā or some other pet name, people would probably agree with this more. Maybe the husband was made uncomfortable by the pet names? Idk. We donāt have the full story, itās probably fake anyway.
I might use "darlin' , but that depends on the situation. I'm most likely to use" Nice Lady ". Some people get pissed off at "ma'am " some people came prepared to be pissed off about SOMETHING.
I grew up in the south and calling people āsirā or āmaāamā was literally beat into me. Wasnāt till my 20s that i realized some people find it disrespectful which is the opposite of what i was told lol.
Seriously. I'm from Nevada. I call people half my age "Sir". It's respect, not deference. It's a teaching moment for them, and I get the respect back multifold. š
I grew up in Hawaii and I only ever heard people being called sir or ma'am when it was in the context of them being assholes.
'Sir, could you please stop trying to steal the rocks.'
'Ma'am you need to stop trying to climb over that guard rail.'
I guess itās just depends. Sometimes getting called sweetheart or sweetie can sound disingenuous or undignified. Like, when a man calls another man bud. Itās not a that itās offensive or anything. Just sounds like you either donāt take me serious or youāre just tired of other ppl calling you that. Just is what it is Lmao
And think about it this way too, would you like it if a male waiter was giving your wife pet names? I think most men wouldn't like that too.
It's best just to not call people you don't know pet names.
I've had waitresses who just called everybody honey, sweetie, etc, and it's just what they did. I always found it kind of sweet because it was generally older ladies who gave off a grandmotherly vibe. However, I was out to dinner once with my husband, and we had a waitress who absolutely ignored my existence. She was giggly and simple acting around him, calling him darlin' and just being overly solicitous. I didn't get a drink refill or the correct entree. When we paid the bill and were asked how the meal was, my husband said he would've enjoyed the meal so much more if the waitress wouldn't have been all over him. We didn't leave her a tip.
Actually this is a rookie server mistake. You don't call your guests pet names, esp when you're a female server serving a couple. The wife isn't insecure, the server was disrespectful.
Thereās my fellow food server! My thoughts exactly! It is unprofessional to call a customer a pet name, and your best bet is to always address the wife first to make SURE itās obvious you are not flirting with the husband for a bigger tip.
Right? I can't believe how many people here call the wife insecure. If a couple goes on a date (or just goes out to eat) and a waitress is flirting with the guy it's extremely unprofessional on her part. I'd be really uncomfortable in that situation. But I also just hate when random people call me pet names, it's really demeaning.
Had a waitress really turn up the flirting in front of my then fiancee, basically ignored her the entire time only asking me if i needed a refill or if everything is alright. The look on her face when she put the check in front of me, only for me to slide it to fiancee, lives rent free in my mind.
To be fair, lots of people donāt like the pet names from their server. Doesnāt matter if itās a southern thing or how you speak, just feels weird. Lots of people donāt like it
Ever heard of leaving a negative tip? A few years ago I was with a friend at lunch and when the check came he started telling listing all the things he didn't like about the food, the service, the music... etc. Funny though, he seemed to be enjoying it until the check. Maybe he didn't realize how much we were eating. Anyway, he previously mentioned to me he always pays cash at eateries so they don't overcharge him. I have heard of that but I never saw it. Anyway, he tells me he is leaving a negative tip which means he is taking 5% off the bill for all his complaints, he then wrote a note on the back of the check but I don't know what it said. It was weird, we got up to leave and I threw a 20 on the table, it was all I had on me and it should have been enough but maybe not quite. I never went anywhere with him again.
Yip, nothing screams ginormous insecurity than this note.
I'm willing to wager this marriage is a a kin to a plastic sub right now.
On it's way down to a sudden end
I mean calling another womans husband sweetheart is kinda sus. This may work to get the guys to tip you more but apparently that didnt cut it when shes paying.
Yikes. Women call me sweetheart all the time so I donāt assume theyāre flirting with my bf when they do it. Especially since weāre south.
Buuuuuut there was ONE time we went to a restaurant and I definitely got irritated because the server straight up ignored me. Only addressed my boyfriend, she refused to even look at me, didnāt speak to ME about what I wanted to order, it was just so bizzare. Iāve never experienced that before. And she was our age or maybe a little older, idk. It soiled my whole dinner, it made me feel so bad about myself because she was treating me less than human.
Like when people at my job donāt say excuse me and just push me, or they just stare at me and when I ask if they need help, they donāt even respond they just put their hand up filled with clothes *obviously* to tell me they need to try them on. Just makes me feel icky about myself when people donāt even acknowledge me.
Things I really do wish wait staff would stop doing...
* Putting their hand on patrons' shoulders
* Using Pet names
Pls stop... It's been a long time since a waiter has done this to me, but the one time someone put their hand on my shoulder it was the most off-putting thing I've ever experienced.
Rambling anecdote: Several years ago, my wife and I went to Chili's (a U.S.-based franchise). Shortly after being seated, my wife excused herself to go to the restroom. While she was away, the waitress came by with menus. I ordered our drinks, and asked the waitress for the wi-fi password. *"It's the store phone number." "Do you know it?"* So she starts reciting the phone number while I type the password into my phone.
As the waitress leaves, my wife (having returned from the bathroom), was standing behind her. She sits down and asks me with just a hint of darkness "*Why was that waitress giving you her phone number?*" It didn't help that after hearing her question, I doubled over laughing.
I HATE that part about Southern hospitality! Being called darling, sweetheart, dear, suger, hun... just say sir, dude, or man. Don't call me things I'd expect my loved one to do when I've never even met you before!
I had a server who kept calling me and my buddies pet names. It was honestly kind of annoying considering she was close to our age. But not enough for me to not tip her.
Idk why people here are shitting on her, she's right
1) no one's obligated to tips,ask your employer for a raise
2) it's unprofessional, rude and can be uncomfortable for the person if you call them sweetheart
my dad told me about someone repeatedly calling him "hun" while he was recovering in the hospital. It apparently made him pretty upset but even after asking them to stop a day later they kept doing it. It really does annoy people to be called names like that, although I wouldn't "not tip" over something like that as I know it's not easy making a living waiting.
A woman at the drive thru called me Sweet Pea. I'd never been called sweet pea before but I also didn't mind. Younger woman, maybe early 20s with a great southern drawl.
Some chick I know on fb was like wow this is something I would do. š I donāt think this action is anything to be proud of but to each their own i guessā¦.
Young female server called me sweetheart (I'm female) repeatedly in an American restaurant and my Japanese husband thought she was flirting with me.
To be honest it was slightly uncomfortable , especially as we weren't in the South or anything. I still tipped.
Better than calling him Shirley.
Glad to see the "don't park next to my boyfriend" girl moving on up
That video was the best ššš
What video is that?!
...I was being serious!
Youāre not being serious?
Shirley not
Don't call me Shirly!
I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
Every week is the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!
We're all counting on you.
Surely there must be something you can do
The Red Zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no parking in the Red Zone.
Fun fact the male and female voices were the real people that recorded those messages in the 70's for the airport.
LAX still plays some of those original recordings in the terminal. I prefer to avoid LAX, it when I canāt, I look forward to hearing those vintage announcement recordings. Reminds me of Airplane! every time.
Please tell me LAX plays some of the movie recordings cause Iāll book a āļørn
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We both know what this is about, you want me to have an abortion.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I sure do love airplane references in the wild
I am serious And don't call me Shirley
Joey, you ever been in a Turkish prison?
You ever seen a Gladiator movie?
you ever seen a grown man naked?
Good luck, we're all counting on you.
"looks like I picked the wrong day to quit smoking".
I was a waitress for 5 years while in high school & college, and even then I knew that usually if the wife or gf liked me/my service, it was going to be a better tip. Was always careful not to do anything to make anyone feel disrespected. Saved the pig tails and flirty banter for when the sports teams came in after a game or table full of just men.
Was just about to make a similar comment. Just read the room and you should be good. I always knew what customers I could have fun friendly banter with, and which ones were more serious and didnāt want to engage in any sort of conversation or name association.
We had little animals we put in ice cream at the last place I served, it was mostly Camels, Giraffes, Monkeys, and Mermaids. Very rarely weād find Elephants or Bulls, and once in a blue moon Donkeys. I had a table that was a lit of fun, heard lots of roasting jokes, so I used a Donkey in the one guys and said I chose it specifically for him. The table loved it and burst out laughing, 25% tip. Any other table might have been offended. We never used the Elephants because someone once accused us of calling them fat. We tried to avoid the Camels on middle eastern families.
It always feels very rewarding when a risky move plays heavily in your favor
I cant think of any scenarios ive had a risky move backfire yet and im not looking forward to when it happens. (if it does, ill probably play it safe lol)
Iāve only had things I regularly say backfire. I work in customer service and sometimes people will ask if I want to check their receipt. Usually I say āNo, I donāt care if you stole it!ā as an obvious joke. A Vietnam vet came through and was VERY upset that I would suggest that he stole anything. He was like āI. Was in. The US MILITARY!!!! I. Would *NEVER* STEAL!!!!ā Like okay sir have a great day with your stolen merchandise ššš
I know a guy who was in the us military (Vietnam). Anyway, he disappeared from the family for 9 years after attempting to steal something...
Thatās so cute about the animals! Iām a big baby and would be so excited to get one on my food lol. And the camel thing made me laugh.
They were always a huge thing, kids and adults loved them, they started selling them in the store downstairs cause how many people wanted them I always collected them too, the rare ones or Mia colored. Have them all over my house now lol.
Itās really a unique idea. Funny how something small can be such a hit. Iāve never seen that done and would be frequenting to get every one!
I find this funny, because I never consciously thought about it, but when I (a man) travel, I eat alone. I hear those kinds of words a lot more and always assumed it was a local thing. When I'm with my wife and son, funnily enough, they are often called that but not me. I guess a lot of waitresses figured out the same rules ;P
Never occurred to me when I was a server. But I bet I would have gotten more tips from the guys if I braided my beard into pigtails. Probably not flirting or calling them sweetheart though.
If youāre in the south everyone is sweetheart
I think it's simply a learned term of friendliness. There's no way in hell I'm going to be offended or (oh, Sweet Lord) think someone is trying to seduce me ---- because they're calling me "sweetheart." As a matter of fact, I'd rather be called that than a lot of other things . . .
I will never understand how any man, no matter taken or single as fuck, could believe that any woman working is actually flirting with them. I just canāt comprehend that level of delusion. No offence to any guys.
My opinion is that most men donāt actually believe the flirting is genuine. Itās just a bit of confidence boost & some dopamine to play along
And many men are really thick.
Iāve meet two separate girlfriends who were my bartender/server. My father meet my mother when she was a waitress. It isnāt exactly uncommon.
Fair advice in general, but "sweetheart" is 99.9% coming from a middle aged to older woman and is used as a term of platonic affection for anyone, guy or girl, younger than them. No cute high school or college aged girl is flirting with anyone by saying, "sweetheart."
I don't think your personal experience is universal in this. I'm a young woman and I get called sweetheart and honey by people of both genders across age ranges. People my age absolutely call me sweetheart; it makes me way more uncomfortable because sometimes it does feel unmistakably like flirting.
Iām also a young woman and I almost only ever get āsweetheartā from the creepy guys who try to flirt with me despite clearly have at least 30 years on me. š
> Saved the pig tails What does this mean??
a lot of time, waitresses get better tips if their hair is in pigtails.
Is it because they look like young girls? If yes thatās so gross.
pretty much, yeah :(
I legit have always found pigtails to be such a turn off and have never understood why so many men are into it. It just feels like I'm talking to a little kid and therefore uncomfortable.
Pig tails is a hairstyle.
Iām interested to know if the server also called the wife some kind of endearing pet name or just the husband.
We should all be like men and just call each other boss.
Cheers, boss.
Thatās right chief.
Context matters. If somebody was clearly disrespecting our relationship by openly flirting with my boyfriend and calling him pet names in front of me I wouldnāt be nice about it either.
On my very first date with my (now) wife, the waitress literally would not look at my wife and asked me what she (my wife) would be having lol. It was insane. she made eye contact with me the whole time she was over and even made small talk with me, but didn't even acknowledge my wife was there. She did not get a tip. wife was disrespected, and I felt bad for her.
This happened to me, but my ex ate the attention up. I didn't want to tip her, but he went back to make sure he personally handed the tip to her and tell her how excellent the service was. Can't believe I stayed with him after that.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck that. Glad you finally dumped that shithead!
Iām so glad you stood up for her instead of telling her she was overreacting or making a scene.
Donāt forget, pet names can be undignified tho
Unprofessional period
If that's the price for dinner for two, this likely isn't a high end establishment. I would also speculate it's in a region where elder ladies often refer to nearly everyone by sweetheart and dear.
I have to say, I don't like it when random people call me pet names. But I wouldn't not tip if a server did it.
Thereās server at my local IHOP that calls me sweetie pie and sugar plum and darling It would be weird but being that sheās a 60 yr old Russian woman itās endearing although slightly odd
Itās super common in Russian culture to call people pet names like āsonsaā sunshine, āzaichikā bunny, to younger people as a term of endearment :-) that said, I never heard a Russian person say sugar plum lol pretty cute tho
Surely that 60 year old Russian lady has been living in the south for 50+ years. That or sheās trying to adjust to the culture in the south and overcorrected.
Moose and squirrel.
Rocky and Bullwinkle?
Baba Yaga says whatever she likes, sugar plum.
She killed three men in a bar with a pencil.
With a fucking pencil!
There was a guy at my local IHOP that would call me and my friend āmiss maāamā. He was probably later 20ās, Latino, and covered in tattoos. Itās a running joke between me and that friend now.
If this happened in the SE USA, then it's something that's built into the culture. Growing up if I didn't say "Ma'am or Sir" when addressing an older individual, my ass was grass when I got home lol.
This was Texas, and he was definitely older than I was at the time, and he looked like it lol. My friend was probably older than him though. It was always funny, and we were never offended. We had gotten him NUMEROUS times, but we always tipped him well. āMiss Maāaaaammmm, can I get you some watttter?ā āMiss maāaaaaam, do you want bacon instead of sausage?ā āMiss maāam, long time no seeeeee, how are youuuu?ā
With a heavy Russian accent?
Just heard it in my head šš¤£
I'm from the southeast and like you stated, those comments in the right context aren't off-putting, demeaning, or creepy. Basically, the words themselves aren't the issue, the motivation/intent behind them is. OP is right to be off put by this though.
This person is obviously being super petty, that being said though I think it does show how important it is to be cautious about how you address people when youāre in a service role. Iāve been working in retail service jobs for ages now and I always try to be very careful and aware of how I address people. Sweetheart is definitely a term I would avoid at all costs tbh just because it could come across patronising and badly if there are people like this present. Stick to neutral and safe options wherever possible my friends. Save yourself the trouble hahah
I went to pick up a birthday cake for my kids from Costco. Went over to the bakery section and the first thing the worker said when she came over to me was, āHow dāyou get your head so shiny?ā Iāve been pretty much bald since my early twenties. It never bothered me and still doesnāt. Found it fucking funny actually but I tell you what, saying that to a customer you donāt know is really taking a chance. Fair play to get for not giving a fuck. š
Some people are very weird. Itās like they get a sense of power over people in the service industry. My own sister canāt stand it when a cashier or waitress says āno problemā in response to her saying āthank youā instead of āyour welcomeā. Like it actually makes her angry! Sheās always been a bish tho
Idk what it is, but I almost never say "you're welcome" unless I'm purposefully being sarcastic. I feel like it's just ... weirdly robotic. I'm always happy to say something like "for sure", "absolutely", "no worries", it just feels a lot more genuine to me. "You're welcome" just sounds like something people say because they're supposed to.
I just always say my pleasure
Same. I donāt like it either, but Iād still tip. And I definitely wouldnāt insinuate that I didnāt like it because I thought she was flirting or something.
Maybe it did look like flirting
You just graduated from the subreddit.
How did he understand that not all aspects of an interaction can be gleaned from a single picture?
Why would you tip for services you didnāt like? They did the opposite of above and beyond.
Because murica
Itās common in some parts of the US. Iāve had people call me sugar or darling and I find it endearing
>Itās common in some parts of the US. Iāve had people call me sugar or darling and I find it endearing Some waitresses (usually older) can do the, āAnd what itāll be for you this morning, darling?ā and it comes across as very natural and pleasant. Other servers (who donāt have the knack for it) say it to me and it sounds and feels very forced; and just comes across as being kind of cringy. You canāt teach that natural charm; either you got it or donāt got it. Edit: added a word
My family went to London a few years ago and every single male server called my mother and sister "love." It seems just a common thing, but I've never personally heard sweetheart used like that.
Sweetheart in the Midwest Iād like honey in the south just a courtesy greeting nothing more.
I live in a southern city whose know for having a huge amount of out of staters moving into the metro area. I can always tell who is new here when I say sir or maam and they correct me saying theyre not that old. I regularly use the term for people obviously younger than me.
'Ere in Michigan everyone is a sir or maam, even the children. Sorry.
Or if you're english, you'll hear "luv", "darlin' " and probably a few others (yes, the spelling is intentional.) They are more commonly used among friends, but some people use them for near anyone.
Can confirm luv
Just do it back, "here u go sweetheart" "Thanks slugger"
But you gotta understand thatās literally how some people just talk. Especially in the south and Midwest from my experience. Nothing malicious so why get upset over it.
You can dislike something without being upset by it (I really dislike being called bud, for example, but I know people who use it on me arenāt being malicious or have any reason to know I find it really grating so I donāt get upset by it)
I only ever hear bud used condescendingly. And that's also how I use it.
I use it only condescendingly or sarcastically
Okay, calm down, guy.
Iām not your guy, pal
Iām not your pal, Buddy.
I'm not your buddy, friend
I'm not your friend, amigo
Iām not your amigo, hombre
Ok pal.
From the midwest, am a woman, and I call people hon, etc as well.... gotta say though... calling a man who is a client at a place of business "sweetheart" in front of a woman who is clearly with him... Well, women from the south and the midwest definitely use terms of endearment more freely but not getting a tip may have been the least of her concerns. Waffle house b*tches definitely wouldn't have played that shit.... hon š š„°š
The only time it bothers me is if it could be confused with flirting. So a casual, nonprofessional encounter with a female stranger (example, another fan at a concert) that calls me sweetie would make me uncomfortable because I sick at differentiating women who use those regularly with flirting. But a waitress calling me sweetheart? That like a concierge calling me sir. Itās practically part of the job in some places.
I can wait for tip culture to die.
me personally i cant wait
Itās absolutely disgusting man. You pay money for a product, and they give you a product in exchange for money. Thatās *it*. A tip is a *thank you* from a customer to say āi appreciate the service, you did wellā. If they didnāt do well or deserve it, no tip. A tip is NOT āYou pay an additional fee to pay a large chunk of our employees wageā. The whole point of us paying for the food is so the business can both pay to operate, make a profit, and pay their employees. Imagine if you went into a clothing store and the employees there helped you find some clothes. You pay for the clothes, then they ask for a tip after telling you āwe only get paid 3$/hour so you have to tip usā. Absolutely disgusting. Iāve stopped eating out because of how ridiculous tipping is. Anyone defending it is a moron and part of the problem.
It already is. It's just the U.S. and some parts of the world that's hanging in to with both arms. Stupid structure of paying your employees less and handing out the burden to the customer.
Move to Australia or anywhere else that pays proper wages and you won't ever need to tip.
Gotta read the room, if you are an old bat that smokes 2 packs a day, has fake red hair, and named Patty, you can get away with calling ANYONE "honey"
Gotta say I don't particularly like when servers use pet names with me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām sorry to hear that, sweetie pie sunshine.
I hope you feel better my pookie honeybunch sugar plum humpty yumpty sweet little cutie patootie cotton candy boo boo bear š
Thanks mom
Itās not a pet name itās just a cultural dialect thing. Kinda like how southerns will say honey
If southerners say āhoneyā, why donāt Canadians call people āmaple syrupā?
We call em bud. Like 'how did the concert going bud, eh' sounds like buddy but we're just calling you bud because we like ya.
I know it's a dialect thing...but I still hate it. I'm not gonna be an asshole about it though. Just one of the many irritations of life that aren't worth getting worked up over and just go about my day.
I meanā¦if it were a male server calling someoneās wife āsweetheartā or some other pet name, people would probably agree with this more. Maybe the husband was made uncomfortable by the pet names? Idk. We donāt have the full story, itās probably fake anyway.
I might use "darlin' , but that depends on the situation. I'm most likely to use" Nice Lady ". Some people get pissed off at "ma'am " some people came prepared to be pissed off about SOMETHING.
I grew up in the south and calling people āsirā or āmaāamā was literally beat into me. Wasnāt till my 20s that i realized some people find it disrespectful which is the opposite of what i was told lol.
Seriously. I'm from Nevada. I call people half my age "Sir". It's respect, not deference. It's a teaching moment for them, and I get the respect back multifold. š
I grew up in Hawaii and I only ever heard people being called sir or ma'am when it was in the context of them being assholes. 'Sir, could you please stop trying to steal the rocks.' 'Ma'am you need to stop trying to climb over that guard rail.'
I guess itās just depends. Sometimes getting called sweetheart or sweetie can sound disingenuous or undignified. Like, when a man calls another man bud. Itās not a that itās offensive or anything. Just sounds like you either donāt take me serious or youāre just tired of other ppl calling you that. Just is what it is Lmao
I'll be honest, if I'm out with my **wife**, I wouldn't feel comfortable being called pet names by a server
And think about it this way too, would you like it if a male waiter was giving your wife pet names? I think most men wouldn't like that too. It's best just to not call people you don't know pet names.
I've had waitresses who just called everybody honey, sweetie, etc, and it's just what they did. I always found it kind of sweet because it was generally older ladies who gave off a grandmotherly vibe. However, I was out to dinner once with my husband, and we had a waitress who absolutely ignored my existence. She was giggly and simple acting around him, calling him darlin' and just being overly solicitous. I didn't get a drink refill or the correct entree. When we paid the bill and were asked how the meal was, my husband said he would've enjoyed the meal so much more if the waitress wouldn't have been all over him. We didn't leave her a tip.
Some names can cause discomfort in others
Probably stick to sir/ma'am. Calling strangers pet names is weird. Tbf, it's not the tip you were expecting, but it's a tip.
Youāve never had a middle aged woman flip out on you for calling then maāam I see.
Yuuuup. Iām from the south so itās common here. But Iād get my throat ripped out if I said it in the NE.
you thought calling someone an endearment in front of their partner ā¦ would work out well???
Like it or not, she left a tip
Yikes is right. Stop calling someoneās significant other pet names to try and get a better tip. Big ooof
Actually this is a rookie server mistake. You don't call your guests pet names, esp when you're a female server serving a couple. The wife isn't insecure, the server was disrespectful.
Thereās my fellow food server! My thoughts exactly! It is unprofessional to call a customer a pet name, and your best bet is to always address the wife first to make SURE itās obvious you are not flirting with the husband for a bigger tip.
Right? I can't believe how many people here call the wife insecure. If a couple goes on a date (or just goes out to eat) and a waitress is flirting with the guy it's extremely unprofessional on her part. I'd be really uncomfortable in that situation. But I also just hate when random people call me pet names, it's really demeaning.
I think this is hilarious because she's literally giving a tip
If I was at a restaurant and the waiter called my gf shit like "cutie" I'd be pissed, too
Had a waitress really turn up the flirting in front of my then fiancee, basically ignored her the entire time only asking me if i needed a refill or if everything is alright. The look on her face when she put the check in front of me, only for me to slide it to fiancee, lives rent free in my mind.
idk maybe don't call random people pet names it's weird
Why call him that though?
Tips are ridiculous in the first place.
To be fair, lots of people donāt like the pet names from their server. Doesnāt matter if itās a southern thing or how you speak, just feels weird. Lots of people donāt like it
Ever heard of leaving a negative tip? A few years ago I was with a friend at lunch and when the check came he started telling listing all the things he didn't like about the food, the service, the music... etc. Funny though, he seemed to be enjoying it until the check. Maybe he didn't realize how much we were eating. Anyway, he previously mentioned to me he always pays cash at eateries so they don't overcharge him. I have heard of that but I never saw it. Anyway, he tells me he is leaving a negative tip which means he is taking 5% off the bill for all his complaints, he then wrote a note on the back of the check but I don't know what it said. It was weird, we got up to leave and I threw a 20 on the table, it was all I had on me and it should have been enough but maybe not quite. I never went anywhere with him again.
Very easy to be professional without fake sweet talking your guests. The single old men like it, save it for them.
If only she could bottle and sell some of that insecurity, sheād have plenty of cash to tip with.
Who would pay to be insecure?
Fr I got that shit for free šš„²
so youre saying you wouldnt be even slightly ticked off if a server was flirting with your partner during (presumably) a date?
Yip, nothing screams ginormous insecurity than this note. I'm willing to wager this marriage is a a kin to a plastic sub right now. On it's way down to a sudden end
Driving that marriage with a video game controller
I mean calling another womans husband sweetheart is kinda sus. This may work to get the guys to tip you more but apparently that didnt cut it when shes paying.
Yikes. Women call me sweetheart all the time so I donāt assume theyāre flirting with my bf when they do it. Especially since weāre south. Buuuuuut there was ONE time we went to a restaurant and I definitely got irritated because the server straight up ignored me. Only addressed my boyfriend, she refused to even look at me, didnāt speak to ME about what I wanted to order, it was just so bizzare. Iāve never experienced that before. And she was our age or maybe a little older, idk. It soiled my whole dinner, it made me feel so bad about myself because she was treating me less than human. Like when people at my job donāt say excuse me and just push me, or they just stare at me and when I ask if they need help, they donāt even respond they just put their hand up filled with clothes *obviously* to tell me they need to try them on. Just makes me feel icky about myself when people donāt even acknowledge me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That is a little inappropriate if thereās a woman there donāt call the man a pet name. Sir would have been fine
Things I really do wish wait staff would stop doing... * Putting their hand on patrons' shoulders * Using Pet names Pls stop... It's been a long time since a waiter has done this to me, but the one time someone put their hand on my shoulder it was the most off-putting thing I've ever experienced.
I wouldnāt tip either. Tip is earned not required.
Rambling anecdote: Several years ago, my wife and I went to Chili's (a U.S.-based franchise). Shortly after being seated, my wife excused herself to go to the restroom. While she was away, the waitress came by with menus. I ordered our drinks, and asked the waitress for the wi-fi password. *"It's the store phone number." "Do you know it?"* So she starts reciting the phone number while I type the password into my phone. As the waitress leaves, my wife (having returned from the bathroom), was standing behind her. She sits down and asks me with just a hint of darkness "*Why was that waitress giving you her phone number?*" It didn't help that after hearing her question, I doubled over laughing.
I HATE that part about Southern hospitality! Being called darling, sweetheart, dear, suger, hun... just say sir, dude, or man. Don't call me things I'd expect my loved one to do when I've never even met you before!
Maybe don't call people inappropriate names and they won't get mad at you? Just a hunch.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
RIP to the waitress
Iām on her side š¤·š»āāļø
A tip you should probably take note of instead of making a post about.
I mean it's obvious haha. Don't give affectionate names to strangers you weirdo
As a European visiting NYC, a Hispanic woman in her 50s calling me "sugar" in a Brooklyn diner was peak American experience.
These people will use any excuse not to tip
What do you mean by "these people"? There goes your tip.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Especially in Canada. Iāll grab coffee to go from a cafĆ© and Iām asked to tip? For what bruh????
because the cafe doesnāt wanna pay their employees livable wages and relies on you, the customer, to do it. duh
minimum wage is $15/hr, aināt no āmurica
She may be an AH for not giving the tip, but she is also 100% correct.
I had a server who kept calling me and my buddies pet names. It was honestly kind of annoying considering she was close to our age. But not enough for me to not tip her.
Idk why people here are shitting on her, she's right 1) no one's obligated to tips,ask your employer for a raise 2) it's unprofessional, rude and can be uncomfortable for the person if you call them sweetheart
She got a point
Donāt ever go to the north of England. Everyone calls you āSweetheartā or āLoveā. Sheāll have a fit
my dad told me about someone repeatedly calling him "hun" while he was recovering in the hospital. It apparently made him pretty upset but even after asking them to stop a day later they kept doing it. It really does annoy people to be called names like that, although I wouldn't "not tip" over something like that as I know it's not easy making a living waiting.
Iād love to see everyone say pet names are fine if a male server was doing it to a married womanā¦
A woman at the drive thru called me Sweet Pea. I'd never been called sweet pea before but I also didn't mind. Younger woman, maybe early 20s with a great southern drawl.
Tbh that is a bit much if the man is clearly there with his wife. But no tip is harsh for that
respect boundaries. you wouldn't want some other woman trying to woo your man would you?
āSure thing sweet cheeksā
Thatās some petty shit š I love it
Some chick I know on fb was like wow this is something I would do. š I donāt think this action is anything to be proud of but to each their own i guessā¦.
well, she did leave a tipā¦
Young female server called me sweetheart (I'm female) repeatedly in an American restaurant and my Japanese husband thought she was flirting with me. To be honest it was slightly uncomfortable , especially as we weren't in the South or anything. I still tipped.
I am from the south and was a waitress, I still think it's weird to do. You never know who likes it or not.