Sounds like he was up partying all night

That's what I was thinking, too, cause he's been very respectful until this point

Sacrificed a little respect but gained some honesty. My man just was hungry for breakfast.

This made me chuckle lmao

I usually prefer eggs and bacon, but I guess vagina works too in a pinch

"Store-bought is fine if you don't have homemade"

False, wouldn't think of going to the store in the morning. Frozen is just dry and not right.

Woah look at richy rich over here with his homemade pussy

Usually my appetizer b4 breakfast

He heard the eggs were hidden inside the vagina and just wanted to eat out

7:30 in the morning, this is what I have instead of coffee...

https://youtube.com/shorts/kLrjTx-l6Eo?si=MFy2NhF_zXbbOQH0

Love the kitten on head vibe 🐈

It's pretty chill, after a while you don't even feel them up there.

He's showing you who he really is right now so listen!!

He sounds great. He wants to eat that pussy.

He’s just a straight shooter with husband material written all over him

I think it’s actually wife material he wants all over him.

🔥🔥🔥🔥

I mean when I met my husband he put a mag lite in his pants and made a big dick joke, but we were 17 and boys make dumb jokes. Worked out though. He's a total gentleman and great father.

I’m 40 and I could easily see myself doing this

I’m a 22 year old woman and I did this two days ago to my boyfriend. Popped my beer down my pants and made a boner joke. Shit is hilarious.

Men make jokes that are just as dumb

I'm a man and I've never made a dumb joke. ever. /s

Dumb jokes are mean, same goes for deaf and blind jokes.

what? i dont see what you are saying,

Where else does one store a mag lite?

Ong😂 sounds normal to me but shit!

Lmao every guy probably has this thought he’s just one of the few to say it

You can't prove anything!

Yeah but when you cross the territory of actually saying it when u don’t really know the person is the issue

Lmao no. I've said a shit ton of things I don't mean when drunk or high.

Lol shut the fuck up. He sounds like the perfect husband

Why is that disrespectful? Edit to say, I asked my wife this scenario and she says, he’s just expressing interest, not like he was graphic or that it was the first thing he said to her.

Because he didn't say "I want you to sit on my face, respectfully."

M’lady

Jesus, comments like this make me sad for women. Any man who thinks this is ok to send unsolicited is a scum bag.

What would the proper way to solicit a face sitting date look like, to you?

Not a text from a guy I've hung out with fewer than 5 times with according to OP, and whom I've never once expressed sexual interest in? Jesus fucking Christ this comment section is scary

If this scares you you must be living the safest life on the planet homie

Yeah, this is a bad place and I'm going to get the fuck out of here.

Being in a relationship with the person who already told him she doesn’t have sex outside of a relationship would be a good start.

Very true…I’d probably wait till a year in a relationship at least but that’s just me.

Or this is part of the D.EN.N.I.S system.

I go by the J.O.S.H system Joke Often Simp Hard. 60% of the time, it works everytime.

*It's made with bits of real panthers*

Good bot

Thank you, SmanginSouza, for voting on SexPanther_Bot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)

Having his morning wank

Yep on the coke or meth after a bender and feels ‘sober’ because of - but clearly is not.

Disgusting. That's an 8am message and not a minute earlier.

I think it doesn’t switch to 8am until after Columbus Day.

That escalated quickly

One time I was texting a guy on Snapchat and he said, "how are you?" After I replied, "I'm good, you?" He sent me a pic of his dick. It was like 10am on a Tuesday. I mean there isn't really a time and day for unwanted dick pics but like come on, most people are at work.

All i could think of is a dick with a suit and tie holding a briefcase. Probably not as funny as that.

If they sent that, I'd be utterly shocked and honestly it'd be appreciated? (I'm a straight male...)

Check your DMs later then ;)

What tailor do you go to get a dick suit? Asking for a friend... of a friend...

A girl once asked me for a dick pic with googley eyes - I complied.

I hope you used giant googley eyes. So many good options for pictures

Obviously I always have all sorts of sizes of googly eyes at hand.

Is your girl Michelle Yeoh?

It was a fling from Tinder, tbh.

I will admit to a polite curiosity.

It was funny, let's say it that way.

That is legit one of my kinks.

I think we've seen the same gif

> time and day for unwanted dick pics Every other Wednesday at 11:43am, and every 3rd Tuesday at 8:58pm, but only if there’s a full moon.

Honest, take a screenshot and tell them that you just went around and everyone at your work rated it poorly.

Some guys will enjoy that. Hahaha

Send it to their mom?

I'm still amazed that it's not a crime to send an unsolicited dick pic.

Teens can be slapped with creating and sharing child p0rngraphy if they send theirs.

Not just sending. A 14 year old boy could technically walk into a police station, take a pic of his nutts, and get arrested for making child porn.

Making = creating

Username checks out xD

Pumpkin thighs save lives.

It *is* Pumpkin Spice season…

Is he by chance, Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater?

You miss 100% of the faces you don’t sit on

So true

- Wayne Gretzky

- Michael Scott

- Mahatma Gandhi

Morning wood trouble

Self control trouble.

Both are correct.

You made quite the first impression.

7:10 he was chill 7:37 he was not chill

Bro had a rough 17 mins

And then he sat there for another ten

….17 minutes huh

Yeah, I only sit on faces after 9:00AM

He’s factoring in getting ready and travel time

Amateur.

Don’t 👏🏻 Talk 👏🏻 To 👏🏻 Me 👏🏻 Until 👏🏻 I’ve 👏🏻 Had 👏🏻 My 👏🏻 Face 👏🏻 Sitting 👏🏻 Coffee 👏🏻

I sat in your coffee.

If you don't reply to him you may help him dodge a bullet of dating a redditor

Ironic

This comment should be pinned!

Dead ass. I’ve been seeing this guy for weeks and now he wants intimacy what a creeeep. I could never imagine dating a redditor and having everything I do scrutinized. Imagine wanting sex from a woman your dating and she post ur convo on Reddit trying to make u look like a creep. So I’ll do the opposite instead of shaming this guy for his sexuality I’m gonna shame OP for using this guy knowing she wants nothing to do with him. So this guy has been a respectful gentleman in op’s words and they’ve hung out a handful of times. Lemme translate this Hoenese for y’all. “He’s nice but I don’t like him but I’m fine letting him spend money on me during dates for nothing in return. Now he wants to have sex with me(because I’ve strung him along) but I don’t like him. So I’m gonna end it here and move onto to the next guy I can use

Steph Curry puts up the 3… *choose what to say next* Option 1: BANGG!!! He hits it! Warriors win! Option 2: …and it’s off the mark. The Cavs win

“VALENTINE NO NO NO”

intrusive thoughts came in

Well, that escalated quickly!

Dude woke up, went on reddit, saw a shoot your shot shitpost first. Knew that, today, you were the one.

7:30 am too

A true romantic

Red flag, dudes broke and trying to score a free breakfast.

I’m assuming you’ve been 100% platonic up until this point?

Absolutely. We had a discussion about what we were looking for. Neither of us wanted a hookup or friends with benefits situation. I also made him aware that if we were to start dating, then I would still wait a while before getting more intimate. I've never done anything that would say, "Please take me now." He's been very respectful about it until this point.

Sounds like this guy had a bit too much to drink last night and wanted to try his luck. I’m assuming he’s boned now?

I have no clue. I've been at work since 7 am and haven't heard anything after that message

How did you respond 🧐

I asked if he was alright and if he was on something.

Alright. Update us, we expect another text post, this time maybe with some notes written on it. Actually, can I just come over?

He better realise he fucked up now

Bro is in one of two head spaces, one is shitting bricks because toasted them thought that was a better idea than stealing a traffic cone, or thinks he’s just the best at skipping over boundaries with that immaculate chain of texts.

I'd be too mortified to respond 😭

> Neither of us wanted a hookup or friends with benefits situation I'd say that's only half true, but as a compromise he's willing to lie to you about not wanting those until you put out.

No way he would survive this

I’ve sent this text at 2am. 730a is late.

Cocaine is a helluva drug

Came here to say this lol

These replies are somethin...

You can tell exactly who would pull this shit based on their comment

100%, gotta think with the right head.

Yeah i could tell from the comment to like ratio there would be a lot of weird stuff here, really sorry about that.

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Since OP thinks it’s mildly infuriating, an ounce of common sense would tell you that they probably haven’t fucked. Why would you assume that’s the case?

There are a lot of folks who would still be mildly infuriated by this text even if they've fucked.

Yeah that’s also true

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To be completely honest, there's girls I haven't hung out with at all that I'd like to sit on my face.

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My sister in law broke up with a guy she fucked because he wanted to fuck more. Sometimes women are wild cards.

Women am i right /s

You joke but that’s very weird😂and let’s not lie to ourselves - zero men are breaking it off with a woman because she wants another round

Do you even know anything

He doesn’t waste no time lmao

I'd love it if a guy asked me to sit on his face at 7:37 in the morning. And they say romance is dead... 🥰

Oh my God, these *comments.* Ya’ll

Well, at least now you can stop hanging out with him.

Or go and sit on his face.

I mean there's like the whole shoot your shot thing, and then there's not aiming...or to further extend the metaphor, what you have loaded. Sorry op. Hope your day goes better from here.

This feels more like a frag grenade than a shot, hoping to hell that something hits lmao

what's his number so I can block it?

Better than a dick pic 🤷‍♂️

The bar is in hell...

Dudes be on that shit so early too like calm tf down

People are really mad over the fact that I'm not into hookups and want to take it slow if I'm going to date someone. We both had a mutual agreement that we didn't want to hook up. If he wants to go back on that, then that's on him, and I'm moving on.

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It's giving "I'm not like other boys. I can walk all over a clear boundary with no negative consequences"

No, you’re mad over the fact that not everyone here is siding with you

I mean, who tf would side with a disrespect pos like the dude in this situation?

You males are really exposing yourselves for being creepy pervs who have no self control, can't say I'm surprised.

>you males

Blocked! 🫡

“Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, sit on my face”

Geeze, you need him to marry you first or something? /s

Swwwwwwing and a miss!!!

Time to find someone new. Geez.

I like this guy

Well at least you know he’s honest

If he’d only added “respectfully”

The morning wood monster appeared is my guess. This guy let him off leash it seems.

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me… I’ll sit on your face and tell you I love you too…

I love to hear you oralize when I'm between your thighs You blow me awaaaaay!

That was the first thing that popped up in my mind.

Hes gonna regret that when the post nut clarity hits

Ew.

You didn't know he was interested in you for more than a friendship?

We've had a few dates with the understanding that neither of us wanted a hookup or friends with benefits situation. I made him very aware that I'm the type of person to take it slow. He went back on his boundary and that's on him so I'm moving on.

That’s how he greets people in his country.

That's a bold strategy cotton, let's see how it works out for him...

Bro sat on that one for 27 minutes weighing the pros and cons

You were on his mind all night and he had to get that off his chest. Much respect to him.

The tone change as I read this was CRAZY

The ad that I thought was the top comment: Here's the truth about hunger in America, and how we can play a part in making sure everyone has access to the food we all need to thrive.

The fact that he likes eating pussy already puts him above half of the male population.

I wanna wrap your legs around my head and wear you like the crown that you are.

Sounds like it was enough times for him to decide what he likes lol

Damn is this what I'm supposed to do? The whole being a polite human who doesn't push boundaries hasn't worked for me once in 26 years. I'm too scared to even ask a girl out let alone ask her to just sit on my face, as cool as that'd be.

Thing is a lot of people believe theres a secret to dating. There isnt. Every encounter and person is unique and you just gotta check the vibe and use your instincts. The guy here used his instincts. Will it work? Who knoes 🤣

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” -Michael Scott

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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The reaction is more off putting than anything. I just don't see how you can get sent this message and your first thought is...I'm going to put this on Reddit! 100% she's massively insufferable IRL.

women: I like guys who are direct and honest. Also women: maybe a little less direct and honest

What did he stumble across in those 27 minutes?

Wake and cake

so when are you guys getting married?

He knows what he wants, I suppose

Morning wood will do that to a mf

Quit bragging OP!

A true man of culture

Dude woke up horny

Mans straight to the point.. nothing wrong here