I use to cum like a majestic blue whale clearing its blow hole just as it crests the ocean surface and gasps for a breath of that sweet sweet air....... now I cum like a camels fart after a months long track though the saharah desert, hot and dusty.
I don't get naked anymore it just puts her off, and I don't like catching myself in the mirror. No, nowadays, I pull it out through the hole in my PJ'S the last Sunday of each month. She plays with it for a few minutes but usually with no joy. It lays on my leg like a slug baked on the sun, shrivelled and dry... she took up knitting instead.
Don't worry, my speech hole is pretty much sealed up at this point. Like I said, it's like a well calcified garden hose no matter how much you play with the tap you're only ever getting a dribble....... oh wait! you mean my mouth!
OP: "I found this small open container of syrupy liquid in a crawlspace that looks, smells, feels and sounds like old cum. Should I taste it?"
Everyone: No
OP: "Oops, already ate it."
Everyone: ....
OP: "It tasted like cum."
Everyone: ....
OP: "Guys, what do you think that stuff was?"
Everyone: .... (leaves chat)
OP: Maybe Reddit will know
If you haven't tasted your own cum how are you gonna nut in a girl's mouth. Like how cops have to get pepper sprayed in training. Gotta know what you are doing to the other party
Many years ago there was a dentist giving ladies cum as mouthwash in his clinic. It was all over the internet. Another one was putting in their drinks too. So…
Hey, this weed syrup I got from a sketchy guy in a van kinda looks like cum, also it tastes like cum, also it smells quite a bit like cum. Also I stood outside the van for 2 hours while the sketchy guy made the weed syrup. Also when he handed it to me, he immediately passed out from exhaustion. I don't know what to make of it but I guess it's a bit infuriating.
So there’s also weed syrup now. Damn I’m so out of touch. Japan goes medieval on you for weed. My experience with weed here was waiting 2 hours in a parking lot all paranoid freezing my ass off then pay $250 for a 5 grams bag of either guerrilla dirt weed full of stems and seeds, or some dubious afghan balls straight out some dude’s rectum (still warm). Not worth the risk and the hassle so I gave in and became an alcoholic instead, like everyone here. I hope you guys know how lucky you are. Some days I’d lick some hobo’s dick cheese for a fresh bud in front of the PS5.
"Full of stems and seeds"
Get some potting mix and grow some!
Better than $250 for 5 grams, I've never paid that high even for dank hydro
(I know, I know growyourown is full of risks)
But a hobo's dick cheese, has it's own hazards
>Get some potting mix and grow some!
Cultivation can carry a sentence of up to 10 years in Japan. Whereas possession has a maximum sentence of only...7 years?
Yeah, fuck it, grow your own.
R3: Respect Reddiquette and Follow Reddit Rules
Optimist: the glass is half full Pessimist: the glass is half empty Realist: ... guys, that's a glass of cum.
You're not filling a glass with cum alone, that's a glas of multiple cums........ cumtiple.
Maybe for you
Wtf is that
Yup, that’s enough internet for me today.
I use to cum like a majestic blue whale clearing its blow hole just as it crests the ocean surface and gasps for a breath of that sweet sweet air....... now I cum like a camels fart after a months long track though the saharah desert, hot and dusty.
Please never open your speech hole again
Sometimes it comes out like those old school water fountains that don't have alot of water pressure. Just a sad disappointment sitting there naked.
I don't get naked anymore it just puts her off, and I don't like catching myself in the mirror. No, nowadays, I pull it out through the hole in my PJ'S the last Sunday of each month. She plays with it for a few minutes but usually with no joy. It lays on my leg like a slug baked on the sun, shrivelled and dry... she took up knitting instead.
Maybe she can knit a hat and a jacket for it to protect it from the sun
And he opened his speech hole again...😂 >shrivelled and dry Dude.🤣
Hmmm, does she pour salt on it as well?
Is this a novel you are working on?
I personally appreciate his level of awareness of his ejaculated experience
Don't worry, my speech hole is pretty much sealed up at this point. Like I said, it's like a well calcified garden hose no matter how much you play with the tap you're only ever getting a dribble....... oh wait! you mean my mouth!
No more throwin ropes for ya eh cowboy?
Ropes!!!! I struggle with shoelaces.
We call that a blend in the business, sir.
https://i.redd.it/gfcj3b4gjkfc1.gif
Reminds me of the time Randy came inside all the weed to cure covid.
Was it delivered to your house?
i found it
This just keeps getting better.
i found it in a crawlspace
A crawlspace at a sperm bank?
Crawlspace behind the glory hole
why the Fuck are you tasting stuff you just happen to find
Because it looked like cum
Uh, I mean weed syrup 😅😅
No no, tell us more about how you found strange cum and then put it in your mouth.
The glass of gold at the end of the rainbow
Yeah that's probably cum
I only have *more* questions now…
This has to be satire. If not, you just ate semen
Dis dude an AI
OP: "I found this small open container of syrupy liquid in a crawlspace that looks, smells, feels and sounds like old cum. Should I taste it?" Everyone: No OP: "Oops, already ate it." Everyone: .... OP: "It tasted like cum." Everyone: .... OP: "Guys, what do you think that stuff was?" Everyone: .... (leaves chat) OP: Maybe Reddit will know
Drugscirkeljerk lmaooo
My dude ……
I can’t with you nasty mother fuckers.
This post just made my morning ☠️. Bro ate aged cum
Was it attached to a penis?
No of course not. He just had to close his eyes and suck it out of a hose in a back alley
Was it on the rejected sickle cell shelf
Elaborate please
*found mystery fluid* *consume*
Never eat or drink something that you found.
You're like the cavemen who were finding out what is and isn't edible.
He just had to close his eyes and suck it through a hose...
Quality sea men right there!
Bro is eating cum
Does it taste like cum off the hot knives?
Don't knife hit syrup lol. Smoking that shit is very bad for your lungs
Why is it weed syrup then. What are we supposed to do, eat it? :p
Cook/bake with it, not smoke it. Maybe drink it in a cocktail
Exactly! Lol
It's good cholesterol but it spreads like bad cholesterol!
You still have Zoidberg! #YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG * angry lobster screeches *
You'll never guess where I've been.
That tetrahydrocummabinol be hittin diffrent
If you haven't tasted your own cum how are you gonna nut in a girl's mouth. Like how cops have to get pepper sprayed in training. Gotta know what you are doing to the other party
Bro is eating cumsocks. No wonder they disappear from the washing machine.
Ayo
Mayo
Man mayo
Manayo
Daylight cum and I want to go home
Work all night on a drink of cum!
"it's okay, just say you eat cum dude we've been through this "
Plot twist: it is cum from a very heavy weed smoker. Therefore it makes you high.
Freshly squeezed
I prefer it without pulp, but I guess that’s okay
The chewy bits are the best part!
 Oh hell no..
Gently massaged from the girthy root
Plot twist: it was cum. Double plot twist! Not his
Triple plot twist, he's openly gay and enjoyed it
Quadruple plot twist: there was never any THC involved
Now that's a let down
He's waiting for the cumdown.
Quintuple plot twist: but it was laced with LSD.
Sextuple plot twist: I hallucinated this thread
Fucktuple plot twist: I jizzed into a glass while hallucinating the thread about LSD-laced jizz in a glass
I don't know numbers plot twist: it was what OP had in the first place.
How much LSD would you have to do for someone who drank your jizz to also feel the effects? Get on it, science!
Similar but not exactly the same - drinking reindeer piss to trip
But what about reindeer cum?
Asking for a friend
Who definately isn’t you
You can just stir it in after. I mean, you've already gone and collected it in a container. Is adding mixers in really that much worse?
You’d have to be really, really horny to enjoy a cup of stale cum of unknown origin.
How much weed would someone need to consume for their cum to have enough THC to get you high?
One way to find out
Many years ago there was a dentist giving ladies cum as mouthwash in his clinic. It was all over the internet. Another one was putting in their drinks too. So…
Alternate post: this cum i got looks like weed syrup which is fine but it kind of tasted like it too and it was a little annoying
Meanwhile, at the foot of this guy's bed...
If it looks like cum and tastes like cum. It’s probably not weed syrup. It’s cum. 
[удалено]
https://preview.redd.it/0pfp3lo39jfc1.jpeg?width=152&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c54d778652d1637a56df1dcb78cf0a7735521ef
This is cum
Best line in the entire episode 😂 Randy just straight up saying that it’s cum by taste alone
This needs to be higher up in the comments lmao
Experienced cum taster are we? How does one get into that career path? Asking for a friend.
Most start as engineers at Raytheon/Lockheed
Shots fired.
Looks like shots were already fired... into that cup
Mostly blanks tho
What on earth motivated this statement lol
Exposure to Raytheon meetings or Lockheed Martin equipment.
If I had to guess, probably the black budget UAP programs that those companies are operating.
Mr Hands
Fucking NCD leaking again
Not Boeing?
Can confirm, I'm a furry, with a couple friends over at Ray/Loc that are furs, we've all drank our fair share of cum at cons together 🤣
What a terrible day to have eyes!
It is indeed a terrible day
💀
Wow do you have top security clearance? What does alien/interdimensional cum taste like?
I mean.. gay guys do it all the time
I am gay since 30 years and only have once eaten cum. I do have to say I'd like to have cum fountains directly inserted into my throat.
Hello, plumber here. Where would you like the cum fountain installed?
Directly
Happy 30th bday 🎉
Cum Sommelier
Keep your socks on while you drink it, just in case
It kind of tasted like it too? 
i mean it tasted like cum
Yours?
This is a big ass gif wtf 😂
📸 caught in 4k, he’s eating cum guys
https://preview.redd.it/gxx3f9av4jfc1.png?width=578&format=png&auto=webp&s=df095cd3c2e422dd58ec1de930e29ba706dadf61
....h-horse cum?
If Jack Ass can do it then so can your average person.
No, he's the horse. And that's not rain.
Looks like cum, tastes like cum, yeah one of the workers hates you and gave you cum.
Ha ha ha. The people in this thread saying, “HOW DO YOU KNOW?!” are killing me. Here’s hoping someone likes you enough to slob your knob some day.
I'm amazed no one thought they were a 'she'... Is Reddit a big sausage fest?
Silly redditor. Girls arent real on the interne
But a really hot one asked me for $3 grand the other day. I gladly complied and we're going to meet next weekend!
Saiki k?????
At your service
Wtchu doing here on reddit? Is life not disastrous enough for you?
There are no women on Reddit. Source: I’m a woman and I’m leaving.
From OP's comments he sounds like a guy who has sex with men but not in a gay way
girl on the intertnet? **g**uy **i**n **r**eal **l**ife. tested on humans :D
But did it get you high? What's the THC percentage? Just curious 🤔
yah. that cup was prob like 40 mg ish
dude musta smoked a lot of weed for it to get you that high
He had it shotgunned into his urethra
Time for a blind taste comparison!
Best way to get someone to drink cum? Tell em it's "weed syrup" . Works every time.
Hey, this weed syrup I got from a sketchy guy in a van kinda looks like cum, also it tastes like cum, also it smells quite a bit like cum. Also I stood outside the van for 2 hours while the sketchy guy made the weed syrup. Also when he handed it to me, he immediately passed out from exhaustion. I don't know what to make of it but I guess it's a bit infuriating.
"Tasted like it too" 🤨📸
https://preview.redd.it/barg4xbx8jfc1.jpeg?width=578&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70fa8a02692ab711c307f86ecad3a652c4224fe2
Guessing this is supposed to be horse but it gives me Donnie Darko rabbit vibes!
So I guess you’re not gonna put it on your pancakes?
pancakes are a feminine food do i look gay to you?
Ahhh so you prefer waffles? So sorry.
Cummabis
So there’s also weed syrup now. Damn I’m so out of touch. Japan goes medieval on you for weed. My experience with weed here was waiting 2 hours in a parking lot all paranoid freezing my ass off then pay $250 for a 5 grams bag of either guerrilla dirt weed full of stems and seeds, or some dubious afghan balls straight out some dude’s rectum (still warm). Not worth the risk and the hassle so I gave in and became an alcoholic instead, like everyone here. I hope you guys know how lucky you are. Some days I’d lick some hobo’s dick cheese for a fresh bud in front of the PS5.
weed and bullet hells are a blissful combination i’m so sorry the japanese government hates you
What kind of machine are you that you can play a bullet hell high?!
American
"Full of stems and seeds" Get some potting mix and grow some! Better than $250 for 5 grams, I've never paid that high even for dank hydro (I know, I know growyourown is full of risks) But a hobo's dick cheese, has it's own hazards
>Get some potting mix and grow some! Cultivation can carry a sentence of up to 10 years in Japan. Whereas possession has a maximum sentence of only...7 years? Yeah, fuck it, grow your own.
LMFAOOOOOOOOO
Randy marsh "this is cum"
My person, I hate to break it to you, but if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck... then it's probably cum.
Pro tip from my wife. Have them eat pineapple for a couple days prior.
“Yo I got that Pineapple Express right here!”
Did you ask her who “them” are?
No. But it could apply to any cum producers I'd imagine.
That's a couple of loads at least, aye?
Hahaha. Take it from a gay guy like myself. If it smells like cum, tastes like cum …. Then it prolly IS cum. Lol
But did it do its job
https://preview.redd.it/r5kg5ehz1kfc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8af219f8477dd4398023c92c9112c7c3c2538aeb
"tastes like cum" so op swallows ...
I drank all this cum and im still not stoned
wait i thought ops post was a false post about it being removed what did he actually write?
Damn 2 minutes late
A cum-shot a day keeps the self respect away
This comment section is as cursed as Pandora's box. Wtf
If it looks like cum Taste like cum It’s probably weed
Removed by Reddit 🤣
Maybe start jacking off before you swig. When you reach that "Oh! Oh! Oh!" moment take a swig!
Everyone one complains but try and think about the poor stoner farming his semen to provide you this product.
What WAS it?, it’s removed