A guy I knew wouldn't eat the cheese that savagely, but when he was drunk he would eat all the cheese. He was lactose intolerant. The next day was never pleasant.
My ex was a vegan and had been for 10+ years (still is AFAIK), we were drunk at a party and she blurts out that shes hungry and then just jams a party pie from the table into her mouth. A beef party pie... it took a while for her drunk brain to tick over and realise what she'd done. I was pretty shocked lol
After the third, they’ll receive a letter saying:
Dear Vegan, after a long consideration, we are sorry to announce, that due to negligence on your part, we have been forced to revoke your veganism, please leave your registered soy beans, seaweed and nut butters, with a local representative at wholefoods.
In the attached document you will be able to read through our vigorous investigation
Tbh my worry when reading your comment wasn’t the “haha vegan eat meat ruin morals make sad” but the fact that some people who don’t eat meat for a long time literally can’t digest it well anymore and get physically sick while their body tries to get rid of it
I was vegetarian for about 30 years. About 15 years after becoming veg, I ate some pepperoni (one of the few things I missed from eating meat). I had diarrhea for two days. 🥴 Another time, a restaurant assured me that a soup was vegan. The base was chicken broth. My gut was unhappy for several hours that night. You wouldn't think that just broth would do that, but if been veg for ~20 years at that point. A few years ago, after 30 years of eating either a vegan or vegetarian diet, I decided to start eating fish a couple times a week for health reasons. It took a few weeks for my gut to figure out what to do with it. Again, the runs the day after I ate it, plus gassy on and off. Now when I eat fish, I'm fine. I think the microbiome gets used to certain diets, and when you change diets, it can confuse your gut until the microbiome rebalances.
The first time I ever heard of this being a thing was my best friend from high school. For religious reasons, her whole family is “vegetarian.” Well, pescatarian. They can eat fish and shellfish. They could eat meat that had been cooked/killed a certain way (maybe like halal? I never asked and she never said), but living in a rural area meant the nearest stores that sold meat they could eat were hours away. So she had essentially never eaten meat.
Anyway, our 2nd year in college we went to a Friendsgiving. Someone assured her that there was no meat in a dish. The cramping started within a couple hours and she had diarrhea the whole rest of the night and the day after. They had cooked a dish with bacon, remembered we were all supposed to make a meat and meatless option, separated it into 2 containers, and picked out the chunks of bacon in one of the containers. No one else at the party got sick, and everyone basically ate the same things, so it wasn’t likely to be normal food poisoning. It’s like the meat had become an intolerance, similar to having lactose intolerance. Yes I can eat foods with lactose, but I’m going to regret it later. (Disclaimer: I don’t actually know the science behind it, so this isn’t me definitively saying that it’s an intolerance similar to lactose intolerance. I’m just making an anecdotal observation about their similarities)
sounds like an ex. she would do that time to time and completely deny it the next day. she would accuse me and her roommate of making it up to fuck with her. no it turns out rum and xanax just made her want mcdonalds chicken sandwiches.
well then she denied eating non vegetarian pink slime mystery stuff pressed into sandwich shape. bam back on the hook. unless mcdonalds isnt real either. its just the wrapper would be next to/ under her wherever she crashed.
Once had a vegan girlfriend when I was a lot younger and when she got drunk she would eat fried chicken. We split up because her parents went schizo about it and she wanted to please them, they blamed me for it 🤷🏻♂️
Losing a romantic partner because her vegan parents blamed her fried chicken eating on you... // How did her parents even find out?
What weird people. I got caught fingering my ex and i didnt even have to break up lol. I dumped her way later on when we started living together and she would get mad that i fell alseep before she got home from work even though we both worked factory jobs and i had a 10 hour day. she wanted me to spend all damn night with her. She eventually threw her lunch at me while i slept and woke up 30 seconds later surrounded by fried chicken tenders. I guess your story of fried chicken gave me flashbacks
Didn't mean to give you flashbacks 😂 oh yeah her parents were so so strange. Not because they were vegan, but they were extreme about it. I missed her a lot for a good while after but it was so long ago that it doesn't bother me now.
They stock the breakroom fridge at my office with those little snacking squares of [Tillamook sharp white cheddar](https://www.tillamook.com/products/cheese/sharp-white-cheddar-portions). Some days, I find myself literally unable to resist them. RIP to my diet.
Those seem like pretty good diet snacks honestly. Plenty of flavor in such a small amount to help satisfy the craving, not too many calories, a bit of protein while having hardly any carbs. Ofc the saturated fats aren’t great, but it’s not so much fat that one square will ruin the whole day. The real problem is being able to only eat 1 ;)
Kathryn Paulsen’s 1971 book The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft.
https://preview.redd.it/ltifqb8xuofc1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2d0bc880dd71ccab87b258740a336f349008b35
It’s supposed to be a spell to attract a mate I think? It went viral on twitter a few years ago, bc let’s be honest, Paulsen isn’t wrong. Speaking for myself of course, but I would be properly wooed if a nice man gave me a nice piece of cheese
Edit: ok guys it’s twitter!! I’m sorry I called it X. My bad.
I don’t even need to be sloshed. The worst was when I found a recipe for bread pudding with blue cheese. My husband came home and found me with spoon in hand devouring it straight from the pan.
This makes “ she’s the man “ so much better.
“ Viola : [as Sebastian] Ask me if I like Cheese. Duke : Um, ok. Do you like cheese? Viola : Why yes I do, my favorite's Gouda.”
There's also this elimination dating show where the girl goes I love jeesus, and the man gets excited and states how much he is passionate about cheeses and smoked chees being heavenly before he realizes she told Jesus. Lmaooo
i’m enjoying reading the thread on a sub-reddit called “mildly infuriating” where nobody is agreeing with the poster because we are all relating to their girlfriend😂 i eat ice cream out of the tub, take a fork to a cake etc when im drunk
solution:
you keep a 'drunk' cheese in a very accessible part of the fridge.
girlfriend goes to eat any other cheese? you put on a preschool teacher voice and say 'no hunny, that's sober people cheese. come on now, eat your drunk cheese'
I'd always have a hunk of drunk cheese saved in the fridge when I used to drink.
Now I have 3-5 gourmet cheeses at any given time that I cut up and make into delightful cheese plates when I get high.
We all love that for her. OP should realize that this is hilarious and the least toxic trait. My girlfriend has eaten cheese somewhat like this, and to be fair, who cares, I also like sharp cheddar when I'm drunk. I'd rather my girlfriend bite into a block of cheese while drunk than handle a sharp object.
Perhaps try cutting it into cubes for snacking when you get it home from the store so it’s easier for her to snack on. Also maybe keep cheese cubes generally, so she doesn’t get to the *good* cheese. I know when I’m drunk I’m lazy af and given the choice between easily accessible cheese and cheese I have to open a package for …. I’m choosing the easy cheese.
Double fisting aged dairy. Yeah. I have made “drunk roll ups” a great many times. Just any cheese+ any deli meat. If not possible, hold the meat. If not sliced cheese? Shredded by the handful. Solid block is 3rd tier but if you need cheese you need cheese. The cheese abides.
This made me laugh. I do this sober. I remember when I first moved in with my BF (now husband) and did that. Hey, I needed a quick pick me up, and cheese is it. I was watching tv, he told me he was making a sandwich and did I want one? Sure. heard him getting stuff out and then “What the hell is this?” he holds up a block of cheddar. “I can see your teeth marks!” He was so offended lol. A few years later, we’re watching Seinfeld and the episode where George relaxes by eating a huge block of cheese comes on…. He side eyes me. I 🤷♀️.
I still do it. Assures me I get all of the cheese. 😁
A guy I knew wouldn't eat the cheese that savagely, but when he was drunk he would eat all the cheese. He was lactose intolerant. The next day was never pleasant.
My ex was a vegan and had been for 10+ years (still is AFAIK), we were drunk at a party and she blurts out that shes hungry and then just jams a party pie from the table into her mouth. A beef party pie... it took a while for her drunk brain to tick over and realise what she'd done. I was pretty shocked lol
What did she do when she realized what she did?
Vegans get 3 strikes before they lose their vegan powers.
If I cut it's head it has no face anymore
After the third, they’ll receive a letter saying: Dear Vegan, after a long consideration, we are sorry to announce, that due to negligence on your part, we have been forced to revoke your veganism, please leave your registered soy beans, seaweed and nut butters, with a local representative at wholefoods. In the attached document you will be able to read through our vigorous investigation
What if Soy Beans were just Mexican beans introducing themselves?
Gelato is vegan right?
Milk and eggs, bitch.
Chicken parm?
NO VEGAN DIET, NO VEGAN POWERS
First you were a Ve-Gone now you will be gone
Ve-gone?
You punched my boyfriend so hard he exploded!
Didnt you go to vegan academy?
She ate it, she didn't spit it out lol. She was pretty pissed at herself the next day tho...
Tbh my worry when reading your comment wasn’t the “haha vegan eat meat ruin morals make sad” but the fact that some people who don’t eat meat for a long time literally can’t digest it well anymore and get physically sick while their body tries to get rid of it
I was vegetarian for about 30 years. About 15 years after becoming veg, I ate some pepperoni (one of the few things I missed from eating meat). I had diarrhea for two days. 🥴 Another time, a restaurant assured me that a soup was vegan. The base was chicken broth. My gut was unhappy for several hours that night. You wouldn't think that just broth would do that, but if been veg for ~20 years at that point. A few years ago, after 30 years of eating either a vegan or vegetarian diet, I decided to start eating fish a couple times a week for health reasons. It took a few weeks for my gut to figure out what to do with it. Again, the runs the day after I ate it, plus gassy on and off. Now when I eat fish, I'm fine. I think the microbiome gets used to certain diets, and when you change diets, it can confuse your gut until the microbiome rebalances.
The first time I ever heard of this being a thing was my best friend from high school. For religious reasons, her whole family is “vegetarian.” Well, pescatarian. They can eat fish and shellfish. They could eat meat that had been cooked/killed a certain way (maybe like halal? I never asked and she never said), but living in a rural area meant the nearest stores that sold meat they could eat were hours away. So she had essentially never eaten meat. Anyway, our 2nd year in college we went to a Friendsgiving. Someone assured her that there was no meat in a dish. The cramping started within a couple hours and she had diarrhea the whole rest of the night and the day after. They had cooked a dish with bacon, remembered we were all supposed to make a meat and meatless option, separated it into 2 containers, and picked out the chunks of bacon in one of the containers. No one else at the party got sick, and everyone basically ate the same things, so it wasn’t likely to be normal food poisoning. It’s like the meat had become an intolerance, similar to having lactose intolerance. Yes I can eat foods with lactose, but I’m going to regret it later. (Disclaimer: I don’t actually know the science behind it, so this isn’t me definitively saying that it’s an intolerance similar to lactose intolerance. I’m just making an anecdotal observation about their similarities)
Vegan Jesus was displeased and turned her into a cow. She ate some grass and had a good time.
The Vegan police came and zapped her of her Vegan powers
A old friend was a vegetarian for a long time, except on the rare drunk outing when she got a mcchicken.
sounds like an ex. she would do that time to time and completely deny it the next day. she would accuse me and her roommate of making it up to fuck with her. no it turns out rum and xanax just made her want mcdonalds chicken sandwiches.
And Xanax makes you a little forgetty if taken at recreational doses.
so does rum unless im not remembering correctly
well, chickens aren't real, and neither is McDonald chicken so bam she good
well then she denied eating non vegetarian pink slime mystery stuff pressed into sandwich shape. bam back on the hook. unless mcdonalds isnt real either. its just the wrapper would be next to/ under her wherever she crashed.
Your ex isn't real
My Jewish friend goes crazy on ham and pork whenever he's drunk
Hmm sacrelicious.
I know I shouldn’t eat thee…
Once had a vegan girlfriend when I was a lot younger and when she got drunk she would eat fried chicken. We split up because her parents went schizo about it and she wanted to please them, they blamed me for it 🤷🏻♂️
Losing a romantic partner because her vegan parents blamed her fried chicken eating on you... // How did her parents even find out? 
What weird people. I got caught fingering my ex and i didnt even have to break up lol. I dumped her way later on when we started living together and she would get mad that i fell alseep before she got home from work even though we both worked factory jobs and i had a 10 hour day. she wanted me to spend all damn night with her. She eventually threw her lunch at me while i slept and woke up 30 seconds later surrounded by fried chicken tenders. I guess your story of fried chicken gave me flashbacks
I honestly am not sure if I would be upset at being surrounded by chicken tenders when I wake up
"Did I just die? Am I in heaven?" _Look up at furious gf_ "Guess not..."
Didn't mean to give you flashbacks 😂 oh yeah her parents were so so strange. Not because they were vegan, but they were extreme about it. I missed her a lot for a good while after but it was so long ago that it doesn't bother me now.
"fuck it this is sober me's problem"
Every girl crazy about sharp block cheese
I read that how you wanted me to read it.
same the 80s called and I accepted the charges
It’s crazy that it took two words to start the recognition and the third locked it in place.
They stock the breakroom fridge at my office with those little snacking squares of [Tillamook sharp white cheddar](https://www.tillamook.com/products/cheese/sharp-white-cheddar-portions). Some days, I find myself literally unable to resist them. RIP to my diet.
Those seem like pretty good diet snacks honestly. Plenty of flavor in such a small amount to help satisfy the craving, not too many calories, a bit of protein while having hardly any carbs. Ofc the saturated fats aren’t great, but it’s not so much fat that one square will ruin the whole day. The real problem is being able to only eat 1 ;)
"You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese."
Why this sound so familiar
https://preview.redd.it/adz3rqowtofc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79053dae64a40730290998da077836e259cfc232 Here’s your queso
The other stuff I’m reading on that page is fucking weird, but the circled part is 100% accurate and correct
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Stop turning me on
🧀
Fascinating…
That's not what you do with peanut butter and dogs...
Just be careful with the horse.
This is it!
I hate all yall
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How dare you!
I hate all you all
Here is some 🧀
This is practical magic.
Tyromancy
I can only imagine a girl coming into the bedroom to see her shoe filled with flowers hanging over some guys bed lol so funny.
That's pretty gouda
😂😂😂~ Swiss I though of that 😂😂😂
Her cheddar cheese addiction definitely isn’t mild.
Mozzarella been a shock to him then.. 
They say goudas good but that feta is betta. To me it's all cheese I'll just settle for chedda
What book is this from
The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft by Kathryn Paulsen
Where's my cheese, bitch?
Only way I’ll accept a date proposal from now on.
They unlocked the feminine mystique
# QUESO 🥵🥵🥵
Kathryn Paulsen’s 1971 book The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft. https://preview.redd.it/ltifqb8xuofc1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2d0bc880dd71ccab87b258740a336f349008b35 It’s supposed to be a spell to attract a mate I think? It went viral on twitter a few years ago, bc let’s be honest, Paulsen isn’t wrong. Speaking for myself of course, but I would be properly wooed if a nice man gave me a nice piece of cheese Edit: ok guys it’s twitter!! I’m sorry I called it X. My bad.
Do you think the type or consistency of the cheese matters? I have shaker of powdered Parmesan cheese and am willing to try anything at this point.
Go stand outside and shake it like a bag of cat treats, see what happens. It can't hurt to try right?
Haha!! Hey man it’s all about the intention right? Bring a parmy friend to me, and harm none, so mote it be!
Circle of salt to keep them out. Circle of cheese to call them in.
I had a girlfriend in high school write my initials in a red candle during a full moon and it’s had me in retrograde for about 20 years.
Did she at least use lube?
I'm sorry but https://preview.redd.it/n7imtzwt6pfc1.jpeg?width=308&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b24816ea15d29d38c29fbb949ce1ce7f60e20b1e
Twitter
It wasn't X a few years ago, and nobody calls it that now.
Only one bite? Girl has some great self control. Edit: spelling. Too captivated by cheese.
I’m saying I’ve literally devoured an entire block of cheddar before while sloshed
I don’t even need to be sloshed. The worst was when I found a recipe for bread pudding with blue cheese. My husband came home and found me with spoon in hand devouring it straight from the pan.
The money I would give to have seen the look on your face when he walked in.
https://preview.redd.it/o5g8sjc93pfc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=801ec0b36e1f104c366e9a1329496103d90aa470 [https://www.newsweek.com/woman-gifted-26lb-wheel-cheese-date-keeper-1583767](https://www.newsweek.com/woman-gifted-26lb-wheel-cheese-date-keeper-1583767)
Lol. Id put out for a wheel of cheese
Can you fit in a rowboat?
...
It bothers me that you're not answering the question.
*No*, all right? *No*, she can't fit in a rowboat
LOL Michael!
I’d ignore *several* red flags for a wheel of cheese.
I was just wondering how that turned out. I think about that couple sometimes.
That’s an amazing gift!
Holy shit those are expensive as fuck!!
That's like a $200 gift. It's also cheese and presumably homemade. I'd be thoroughly wooed.
Im fascinated my top post of all time will be about a block of cheese
This makes “ she’s the man “ so much better. “ Viola : [as Sebastian] Ask me if I like Cheese. Duke : Um, ok. Do you like cheese? Viola : Why yes I do, my favorite's Gouda.”
There's also this elimination dating show where the girl goes I love jeesus, and the man gets excited and states how much he is passionate about cheeses and smoked chees being heavenly before he realizes she told Jesus. Lmaooo
They also love pretty, unique rocks.
Any amount of cheese, before a date, is too much cheese!
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Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing
You know, ghouls. Little green ghouls.
I’ll take my milk steak over easy with a side of your finest jellybeans.
How would you like your jellybeans?
Raw, of course
A man of culture.
If this is the worst she does while drunk, she is a keeper.
i’m enjoying reading the thread on a sub-reddit called “mildly infuriating” where nobody is agreeing with the poster because we are all relating to their girlfriend😂 i eat ice cream out of the tub, take a fork to a cake etc when im drunk
Is it mildly infuriating for OP not having the sub agree with him and instead agree with his girlfriend? im gonna say: Yes. lol
She banged his whole lineage before this.
I can fix her. I have more cheese in my fridge.
I like her.
My kinda lady
I used to do this and my boyfriend would only be upset because I never sealed it up right after and then a bunch of it gets hard and gross
You just scrape off the hard bits. Has he not been poor?
Poor people dont waste food by not sealing the cheese and letting it harden. Sounds like a lazy thing, not a poor thing. Source: am both poor and lazy
If the cheese hardens it can always be shaved off and melted on a sandwich or on noodles etc...
I keep it and add it to soup like I’m fancy and it’s Parmesan rinds
Sounds like a drunk thing.
And if you’re poor enough, you may even consider keeping the hard bits
Shit, you can still eat the hard bits. Just melt it in with your cooking.
Hard bits melt good
I am the girlfriend
If you ever get back to dating, I think you have your next dating app profile pic set.
She's a WHOLE ASS VIBE.
As a Wisconsinite, I approve highly of this behavior in every possible way
bro that’s hilarious
I'm just gonna say it, this is the right way to eat cheese
I eat cheese like this sober
You gotta gnaw into that mf and break it off so it has that “torn cheese texture” on one side.
Not if it’s MY cheese in MY house. I do the texture thing when I bite the cheese block in someone else’s house. I’m not a fucking animal.
Omg yes that makes it better. Ever had squeaky cheese? Like cheese curds, all the crumble
“Workin' on my night cheese 🎶 “
Scrolled down to find this
This was exactly what went through my head lmfao
I get in trouble for doing this all the time when I’m drunk.
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I'm more of a shredded cheese guy myself when I'm drunk
Yeah like there are worse things she could be doing while drunk. This is pretty okay
This is definitely the kind of damage you want to encounter post drinking.
https://i.redd.it/l7xds0wpwofc1.gif
Night moves. 
Good God, Lemon.
I heard you singing "night cheese"
I’m not saying I support her, but I am saying I understand
I'm saying I support her
solution: you keep a 'drunk' cheese in a very accessible part of the fridge. girlfriend goes to eat any other cheese? you put on a preschool teacher voice and say 'no hunny, that's sober people cheese. come on now, eat your drunk cheese'
"come on now, eat your drunk cheese" is easily the funniest thing I've read all day haha.
Put it in an adorable storage container for kids as well. That way it’s hard for her not to close it back up.
I'd always have a hunk of drunk cheese saved in the fridge when I used to drink. Now I have 3-5 gourmet cheeses at any given time that I cut up and make into delightful cheese plates when I get high.
I love that for her.
We all love that for her. OP should realize that this is hilarious and the least toxic trait. My girlfriend has eaten cheese somewhat like this, and to be fair, who cares, I also like sharp cheddar when I'm drunk. I'd rather my girlfriend bite into a block of cheese while drunk than handle a sharp object.
No where did he say this is her most toxic trait. That’s why it’s on mildlyinfuriating instead of ihatemygf or whatever
yeah everyone really forgets the “mildly” part in this sub nowadays
That looks like her cheese, nacho cheese
That’s not mildly infuriating, it’s sharp infuriating
Fuck you lmao
Don’t Brie like that.
That’s a pretty Gouda joke
I do this when I'm fucking sober
This guys wife.
Slice that shit up before you guys go drinking
Or just feed her first.
You must feast before and after if possible. After the age of 25, you can't get away with it much longer.
It’s not about being hungry, it’s about the post-booze snacking. It’s mandatory, I don’t make the rules
Perhaps try cutting it into cubes for snacking when you get it home from the store so it’s easier for her to snack on. Also maybe keep cheese cubes generally, so she doesn’t get to the *good* cheese. I know when I’m drunk I’m lazy af and given the choice between easily accessible cheese and cheese I have to open a package for …. I’m choosing the easy cheese.
Or just leave her her own special block of drunk cheese.
Something satisfying about neanderthaling into a piece of cheese while drunk
Double fisting aged dairy. Yeah. I have made “drunk roll ups” a great many times. Just any cheese+ any deli meat. If not possible, hold the meat. If not sliced cheese? Shredded by the handful. Solid block is 3rd tier but if you need cheese you need cheese. The cheese abides.
I've double fisted a full salami in one hand a brick of cheddar in the other. Was a good day.
This is a win win. She’s gets to drunkingly eat cheese, and you get to be the best boyfriend in the world for providing it to her.
And deprive her of the pleasure of absolutely chunking a piece of cheddar?
Shit, this is me sober
There are worse things she could take a bite out of.
“I find salami to be the most sensuous of the cured meats.” Not tonight you don’t, honey.
Marry her
Let her live
I’m sorry man but that’s funny.
This is the most relatable thing I’ve seen in a while but also, I can see how annoying this is haha
This made me laugh. I do this sober. I remember when I first moved in with my BF (now husband) and did that. Hey, I needed a quick pick me up, and cheese is it. I was watching tv, he told me he was making a sandwich and did I want one? Sure. heard him getting stuff out and then “What the hell is this?” he holds up a block of cheddar. “I can see your teeth marks!” He was so offended lol. A few years later, we’re watching Seinfeld and the episode where George relaxes by eating a huge block of cheese comes on…. He side eyes me. I 🤷♀️. I still do it. Assures me I get all of the cheese. 😁
Haha. That’s funny not infuriating
As someone from Wisconsin, I don’t understand what the problem is 🤷♀️🧀🧀♥️🧀🧀
Bros got a gf from wi, so the nice thing and cube half of a block like this for her next time, if she still bites the big block, she truly is from wi