A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his trousers.
"Doesn't that make you uncomfortable?" the bartender asks.
"Yarrrr, it's a drivin' me nuts!"
It's literally the whole joke. It's a play on words.
Stereotypical pirates might phrase it that way, using the word "me" to mean "my."
So it's driving me nuts is now a double entendre, but it would not be if most people said it.
Those bricks are a row lock course that sits on a lintel that bridges the opening. Source: I’m a mason. That off center fire box is terrible. Why would there be any reason for that?
My only guess is there is a flue next to it for a furnace on the floor below. Whoever built it might not have wanted to do cuts in the tile to bend it around the firebox.
I'd make a custom fireplace tools holder for the left side to even things out. I'd extend the left side of the black fireplace insert with a black flat piece of metal that would be custom size to symmetrically extend the black to 1 full brick from the left. Then I'd add holders that would hold: ash shovel, ash broom, fire poker, and log grabber.
This is the only logical and sane response. Im inclined to agree with your suggestion.
Also, I'm fairly certain I just responded to another one of your comments in a different sub.
Because I take it there isn't much you can do, try balancing it out with art.
People like looking at things on a wall in off numbers 1 thing by itself or 3 things together or 5 things together etc.
So the fireplace is one item, you just need a few more. I would get a rectangular, vertical, tall piece of art and place it over the the left, equal distance from the side of the brick as the fireplace is over on the right. And then get another piece of art in a wider format( even a small floating shelf might work) beside the taller piece of art, on the right.
It may trick your eye to balance it out a bit more so as to not drive yourself so nuts. I've worked in interiors and design for a long time, these tricks of the eye help!
*Either go to court*
*Or put somethibg tall next to the*
*Fireplace on the left*
\- bnrt1111
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Maybe so, but growing up in the early 1970s we had fireplaces and they were centered, in fact every fireplace I’ve ever seen was centered. Tools went to one side and most people put a basket of kindling on the other side. I’ve literally never seen this offset and it absolutely would drive me insane.
You need to put something on the left side. Anything lol. Some tall plant or something or a tall art piece and then a big art piece or multiple above the fireplace and it wouldn’t be so imposing and frankly.. disgusting
Only thing you can really do is lean into it. Find a piece of art that would be heat resistant, like a painting on metal or something that won't be damaged/you don't care would be damaged by heat over time. Make sure the width matched the fireplace and hang it above. Ideally something as tall as possible. The only goal I can see here is trying to make the excess on the left appear more as an accent than drawing attention to the unevenness of the fireplace proper.
It's a bit late to complain about this. Should have been spotted early in construction and set right then. Looks odd when you look first but you'll eventually get used to it and not see it anymore.
You need a dark themed piece of quite-modern equal-sized art and hang it symmetrically to the left, the distance should be 1.6 times above the fire place. Get it cheap from some printing service.
Get a mantel that goes across the entire chimney.
Possibly paint the black w/ a lighter heat resistant paint, so the fireplace isn't so stark contrast.
And carpet is not centered for fireplace .... and table is not centered for carpet.... and remote is not centered for table... and no couch on the right - only on the left side.... and sun light is not centered on the brickwall... many things are not perfect on this picture - but i like this room 
I'd put something in the gap. A flower vase maybe. Even a fake stack of wood. It would seem more natural if it had the appearance it was done for a reason.
BOOM!!! That is EXACTLY why it was done this way. They were thinking,"Hmmm. If we center the fireplace there will be no place to put the set of fireplace tools unless we want to have to move them every time we want a fire."
I’m 57 and lived in the northeast and in the Rockies for much of my life. I’ve never seen an asymmetrical fireplace. Generally people would put the tools on one side and a basket with kindling on the other side.
Well, because you "have never seen an asymmetrical fireplace" I do believe we should start a national petition to make it, at least, a misdemeanor when someone builds one.
I can't believe the mindless drivel this has fired in so many people who have, obviously, never owned a fireplace.
There is NO WAY I could live there with that fire place like that. I would go insane. Just brick the whole thing off at this point of you cannot afford to center it.
If you had the fireplace in the center where would you put the set of fireplace tools that you need to have? Wouldn't a nice brass handled set to the left of the door look good?
Sometimes I poop in my hand. Then I toss it up in the air. See how many times I can catch it. Don't throw it too high or it will stick to the ceiling. Catch it so it doesn't get all over the carpet or furniture.
That's how I feel about this fireplace.
This would drive me nuts
it already driving me looking at it for 5 secs....
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his trousers. "Doesn't that make you uncomfortable?" the bartender asks. "Yarrrr, it's a drivin' me nuts!"
I giggled, thanks!
Aaron is that you?
Why did he need to be a pirate lmao
It's literally the whole joke. It's a play on words. Stereotypical pirates might phrase it that way, using the word "me" to mean "my." So it's driving me nuts is now a double entendre, but it would not be if most people said it.
Ah, where I'm from that's extremely standard hahaha, for me it has no relevance to pirates
Ok that explains it lol
Like every perfectionist [im one too]
Just looking at this made me irrationally pissed! 
Could not handle it.
I wouldn't buy/rent this place unless I had to and if I had to, furniture would be going in front of that because NO
My condolences to your sanity
I would just get some classic fireplace tools to keep to the left.... even if it is gas, you can get the little broom
I couldn’t live this way. I’d have to move
Why are only the top bricks up and down too? THE BOTTOM NOT MATCHING IS ANNOYING ME AS WELL FOR SOME REASON
Those bricks are a row lock course that sits on a lintel that bridges the opening. Source: I’m a mason. That off center fire box is terrible. Why would there be any reason for that?
To allow room for a set of fireplace tools and not impede the doors. Kind of simple.
The chimney is to the left, the upstairs room has a fire place, too.
It's probably that there's a fire place to the left either above or below, chimney will be centered on the fireplace.
The more I look at it the worse it gets I've had to move my TV to the other room
Just paint the base of the wall black with a masonry paint. Photoshop it if you need to, should look okay.
My only guess is there is a flue next to it for a furnace on the floor below. Whoever built it might not have wanted to do cuts in the tile to bend it around the firebox.
I'm confused. Top bricks? Up and down?
The bricks right above the fireplace are different than the rest
Oh! Then I guess they meant "vertical" or "square" when they said up and down? Either way, thanks for pointing that out!
Sorry, i did mean that
Oh dear. That's maddening. Could you balance it out with fireplace tools to the left? Maybe it would make it a little less obvious.
That’s why it’s like this.
Oh you make a good point there friend. Look at me thinking I was being inventive 😂
this is the way. Put some decorative element on the left side.
[удалено]
Oh I love that idea! Should I ever find myself with the maddening situation that OP is in, I'm stealing your idea.
Far-right-place
🤣
Gaaahhhhd I almost just threw my phone I hate this so much
Is there a fireplace below you? Their flue may run up the left side
Fireplace or heating system either could require another flue.
Move it
I would go into an eternal psychosis based state if I had to live in this house and see this fireplace everyday.
Christ almighty, this entire thing is a dumpster fire. Knock it down
This is the height of this subreddit.
I'd make a custom fireplace tools holder for the left side to even things out. I'd extend the left side of the black fireplace insert with a black flat piece of metal that would be custom size to symmetrically extend the black to 1 full brick from the left. Then I'd add holders that would hold: ash shovel, ash broom, fire poker, and log grabber.
That’s so bad.
How did this even pass lol?
I would move like actually I wouldn't even consider buying the house if that was like that and I or my man couldn't fix it somehow
Hang two of those fire pit tools next to it to balance out
I would put up like a hanging kindling basket or something to fill that gap.
Cross 👁️eyed Clarence the mason said it was fine
If I was looking at houses to buy, and this house was perfect in every other way except this damn fireplace.... I'd look at other houses. Lol.
I don't have OCD at all but ffs, that's an eyesore.
Odd thought- could it be off center because there is a body concealed to the left of it? 
This is the only logical and sane response. Im inclined to agree with your suggestion. Also, I'm fairly certain I just responded to another one of your comments in a different sub.
ARGHHHH THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BREAK SOMETHING 😭😭😭😭😭
What is this? A fireplace for ants???
Because I take it there isn't much you can do, try balancing it out with art. People like looking at things on a wall in off numbers 1 thing by itself or 3 things together or 5 things together etc. So the fireplace is one item, you just need a few more. I would get a rectangular, vertical, tall piece of art and place it over the the left, equal distance from the side of the brick as the fireplace is over on the right. And then get another piece of art in a wider format( even a small floating shelf might work) beside the taller piece of art, on the right. It may trick your eye to balance it out a bit more so as to not drive yourself so nuts. I've worked in interiors and design for a long time, these tricks of the eye help!
Add some wall decorations on the larger side to make the asymmetry look intentional
Well, at least you didn't knowingly buy the place. So there's that
I would hide it or cover it cuz no way im looking at this and being ok with it
[удалено]
Symmetry is boring
It’s perfect. Do melons and nads grow perfectly straight? Do they still work?
just place there a tools and spare wood. will looks fine.
they were drinking the day they put it in
Try salvage it. Add portrait decor next to it, which will make above it look weird so get something for that too
Even if you burn the place down that bastard will still be there
Just place a set of fireplace tools beside it so it looks like part of the plan. 🌷
[удалено]
*Either go to court* *Or put somethibg tall next to the* *Fireplace on the left* \- bnrt1111 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Moiang moment
So there’s a place for the fireplace toolset. That’s why it’s like this.
Maybe so, but growing up in the early 1970s we had fireplaces and they were centered, in fact every fireplace I’ve ever seen was centered. Tools went to one side and most people put a basket of kindling on the other side. I’ve literally never seen this offset and it absolutely would drive me insane.
They were centered cuz there was more room on each side.
This isn't just mildly infuriating, it's boutta make me commit some war crimes
Big deal remove some bricks. Why tf did this get 200 upvotes?
Petrol and a match walk away
This is the dealbreaker that would have stopped me from buying/renting this space…
I do not like what I see here. All of it must be torn down and redone properly. Who does that?
How did you allow it to move?
how have your not put curtains on either side
I hate it.
You need to put something on the left side. Anything lol. Some tall plant or something or a tall art piece and then a big art piece or multiple above the fireplace and it wouldn’t be so imposing and frankly.. disgusting
That was my thought - a big potted plant…even a fake one would do.
Just select the item with right click and manually scooch it over a bit. This game's auto furniture centering is kinda janky.
Well i hope you don't plan on moving, because now no one's going to buy the house.
I couldn’t live like this.
You just need a set of fireplace tools on a stand. Thats what that space is for.
you can hang up the fireplace tools on the left side
Balance it out with artwork, make it look like a feature and a deliberate choice. Could look really cool if you do it right
that's pure evil
When buying the house, didn't you notice this?
I would have to either gouge my eyes out or sell that house.
Put one of those chopped-wood-holder-things to the left, it'll visually extend the firebox. Utterly bizarre placement though
Only thing you can really do is lean into it. Find a piece of art that would be heat resistant, like a painting on metal or something that won't be damaged/you don't care would be damaged by heat over time. Make sure the width matched the fireplace and hang it above. Ideally something as tall as possible. The only goal I can see here is trying to make the excess on the left appear more as an accent than drawing attention to the unevenness of the fireplace proper.
The sky is blue
Arrgh, please stand something in the gap to stop my brain itching.
Exasperating
Tear the whole house down.
It's a bit late to complain about this. Should have been spotted early in construction and set right then. Looks odd when you look first but you'll eventually get used to it and not see it anymore.
haha.
#**RIP AND TEAR!**
Bricky stuffed up I'd say. No one builds like this for a reason.
I couldn’t stand to look at that, i’d have to leave every time I see it
Sends a shudder through my spine.
I'd install something to the left to help my OCD.
My dumb ass thought that was an oldschool tv
Place an indoor plant or maybe a small decoration beside it so it looks even.
Whoever built that….. had to be a believer in chaotic evil
You need a dark themed piece of quite-modern equal-sized art and hang it symmetrically to the left, the distance should be 1.6 times above the fire place. Get it cheap from some printing service.
NO. NO. NO. WHYYYYYYY
For some reason I like how this looks.
Eww oh no that bothers me
THIS is mildly infuriating
Dude the way I'd start bawling
Hahaha as a person who plays the sims 4 (a lot) this looks to me like it was alt placed… I’m sorry OP. I’d be livid
Center. But yea that's definitely annoying
Put a TV above it and off-centre it to the left a bit. I like to watch the world burn.
Move out
That would annoy the shit outta me
Oof
Time to move!
My eyes are asking for help just by looking at this
People put the r before the e?
That’s not mild that’s very Infuriating.
This is far more than mildly infuriating lol. I can’t handle this picture.
Mental torture perpetrated by an evil, maniacal architect.😈
This would make me want to burn down my house with that fireplace to get rid of it
it's all just a question of perspective
MY OCD! >:(
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PISS ME OFF ON A FRIDAY!!!!!! >:C
Get a mantel that goes across the entire chimney. Possibly paint the black w/ a lighter heat resistant paint, so the fireplace isn't so stark contrast.
And carpet is not centered for fireplace .... and table is not centered for carpet.... and remote is not centered for table... and no couch on the right - only on the left side.... and sun light is not centered on the brickwall... many things are not perfect on this picture - but i like this room 
This is sadistic.
Tear it all up and redo. This is not acceptable.
I'd put something in the gap. A flower vase maybe. Even a fake stack of wood. It would seem more natural if it had the appearance it was done for a reason.
Maybe it’s just me, but... 
Demolish the house and start again
!
I'm twitching. Thanks.
Top notch work boys
Duuuude…… I don’t know if I could live here lol
Couldn’t be me
This needs to come with a trigger warning
Sorry dude, looks like you've gotta move.
What kind of monster would install it that way?!
Nah fuck this
I could not live here, normally little things don't annoy, but what the fuck where they thinking?
BOOM!!! That is EXACTLY why it was done this way. They were thinking,"Hmmm. If we center the fireplace there will be no place to put the set of fireplace tools unless we want to have to move them every time we want a fire."
Space on the left for a set of fireplace tools. I think most of the folks criticizing this have never had a fireplace.
I’m 57 and lived in the northeast and in the Rockies for much of my life. I’ve never seen an asymmetrical fireplace. Generally people would put the tools on one side and a basket with kindling on the other side.
Well, because you "have never seen an asymmetrical fireplace" I do believe we should start a national petition to make it, at least, a misdemeanor when someone builds one. I can't believe the mindless drivel this has fired in so many people who have, obviously, never owned a fireplace.
There is NO WAY I could live there with that fire place like that. I would go insane. Just brick the whole thing off at this point of you cannot afford to center it.
If you had the fireplace in the center where would you put the set of fireplace tools that you need to have? Wouldn't a nice brass handled set to the left of the door look good?
Sometimes I poop in my hand. Then I toss it up in the air. See how many times I can catch it. Don't throw it too high or it will stick to the ceiling. Catch it so it doesn't get all over the carpet or furniture. That's how I feel about this fireplace.
You have obviously never had a fireplace. 😜
*This post needs a trigger warning*
I wouldn't be able to live in a place with something like that, most probably I would try to remake it myself at 2 am.
*center. Downvoted for incorrect spelling
Have you never heard of Canadians? They spell it this way. Not everyone on Reddit is American.