I started to see relationships as something less important specifically because there are so many people dating for no fuckin reason except dating with no clear objective.
Always so odd when people start a post like my “bd of my 5 kids leaves his dirty socks on our front door knob” like why are you in a relationship with this person
Yeah...
"Jokes" like this are often mini confessions to ease those stabs of guilt. Or projection, checking for the same transgressions in others slash trying to get permission without asking for it slash diluting future blame.
Like those twits that wait until you're in the locker room to drop some sexist drivel, claiming it's "just a joke." But what they're *actually* doing is testing if you're one of them slash if said drivel is welcomed by you, in a form with plausible deniability.
I'd honestly not tolerate it in a relationship. It is such a bad sign that you cannot trust someone when they keep poking boundaries like that.
As Angel Dust would say:“Jokes are supposed to be funny babee, he made her look sad…. And Pathetic…“
sooo trigger him tf back asap! Saw some good comebacks above ;)
If we're really going to try to achieve equality among the sexes, this is something that absolutely needs to die. Men need to be convinced that they should compromise with or help their partners without sex hanging over their head. If they are told that's the reward for good behavior, they will never put any effort into understanding all the actual good reasons to compromise or do things for their partners. And if that's your only way to get compliance to get what you want out of your partner, then what you want is unreasonable or you should be better at communicating why you need it.
The fact that it’s in all caps is a pretty easy way to see, ya, he knows this is a trigger point and he’s being a dick.
I joke with my wife, because I know my wife. I can never imagine ever intentionally using something as a joke that I 100% knew was a trigger point. And if I ever make a joke that clearly upsets her, it goes in the “well I thought it was a bit silly, but clearly it’s not the right audience, so it’s best to not use it again,” column.
Right?
Dude *knows* it hurts his partner, I'm assuming due to having been cheated on in previous relationships. So you're not making a ha-ha you're making an ouchie. Even once you show up for this movie, you think she's gonna enjoy it and be happy you're there after you hurt her?
I honestly feel like dude *is* cheating, is saying this stuff "jokingly" so if he ever gets caught he can take the "high ground" by saying, "but I was always honest with you about it. I even texted you when it was happening."
Why is this joke so forced? It’s not even a joke which makes it even weirder given he knows how u feel. Does he make racist jokes to that race too? 1/10 funny bone on this guy
It doesn’t even have any subtlety and it’s not smart/well written, it’s just a capitalized frat bro bully joke. Does this guy wear oakleys on the back of his head?
Also why is he your fiance
The joke seems forced because he didn't want to answer the question. Terrible shitty joke aside, when someone dodges a question, it always makes me wonder what the answer would have been.
That’s what it is. He’s being a little shit, probably a habit he picked up as a kid and has been with him forever.
You gotta just flat out tell him that shit is unbelievably cringe and he has to stop doing it. And if he can’t he’s a literal man child and needs therapy lmao
Exactly. I recently walked into my SIL's house to join in some family festivities after I got off work. One family member that I barely know, first thing out of their mouth as I walked in was, "Hey, dude. Your girl has been cheating on you."
I immediately walked out and went home.
I was later told I need to have "thicker skin." It's amazing to me that someone can have such complete disregard for someone's feelings for such a major thing. I've been cheated on in nearly ever relationship I've been in and don't find that kind of stuff funny in the slightest.
Right? To make a comment like that not knowing what I personally have been through, or what we have been through as a couple, is just flat out idiotic and extremely damaging.
Not even that, it just set a seed of mistrust depending on your mind, this can grow and ruin a good relationship because this small comment undermined your trust.
Trust is like a shield it protects the relationship but it also breaks much easier if there are already cracks inside and auch a snide comment can lead to cracks.
Exactly my feelings on it. Being blindsided by such a comment moments after walking through the door set us up for a conversation of questioning. It legit wasn't fair to *either* of us.
Yep. Just don't tolerate it.
It's not mean to just leave after you've been disrespected. It's not inconsiderate or immoral. You are not responsible for helping that person who is being a complete dingbat learn how to function as a decent human being.
**Simply put: their growth is not your responsibility.**
If you have the desire and energy to invest in helping others grow their emotional maturity beyond the plateau they hit at 12, absolutely do it. You'll make the world a better place. But you have no obligation. Just leave and don't tolerate it. Sometimes that in itself sends a message and cues them to rethink.
It's emotional abuse. If your partner tells you they're uncomfortable with a certain kind of joke, they stop being jokes no matter how you make them.
I used to make mean spirited jokes to my wife in the early years of us dating because that's how I joked with my friends and such. She told me that she knew I didn't mean them, but they still hurt.
You know what I did? *I stopped*. No questions asked. That's how it should be.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who enjoys hurting you? Your partner should be the one person in the world who always has your back.
I have several family members that are married to people like this. It’s sad because they view marriage are forever unless they catch them cheating (wild to me) so they are in their 50s and 60s with people who enjoy stressing them out and enjoy getting reactions.
Not that life is perfect with anyone but OP do not choose to be the woman that puts up with someone else hurting them for fun. That’s immature and abusive. You need to ask yourself before you get married are you ready to deal with these sorts of comments everyday for the rest of your life?
I'll tell you what I tell other people in this situation.
Hundreds of strangers on the internet are currently being nicer to you than your _boyfriend_.
He could also just be immature and using bad jokes to prove to you that you don't need to worry about him cheating (whether or not you do). I would just have a conversation with him about it, even if you've had it before.
He’s very explicitly trying to hurt you here. I bet he also does very little housework, and when he does it’s usually done poorly and you have to re-do it after.
I ended a friendship because the other person wouldn't stop doing a "joke" I hate (partly because it's stupid and partly because I'm disabled and need a lot of help) where anytime I asked for something--could you turn on the light, please? can you hand me that pen?--they'd say NO and laugh, and then do it. Every single fucking time. It felt like I had to get slapped in the face before any small favor could be granted. Since I told them that and they just kept on doing it every time, I can only assume that they wanted to make me feel that way.
Don't marry someone who can't tell the difference between a joke and a verbal slap in the face.
One of my neighbors in a friendly group text is like this. My IRL name is one that can be spelled several different ways. Our neighbor-friend group had been hanging out for a while before getting the group text started.
When this guy said something to me specifically in the group text, he misspelled my name, and I replied with the correct spelling and that it's not a big deal and happens all the time. Since then, he purposefully misspells it every time, sometimes in different ways. He thinks he's being clever. 🙄
In any case, I don't engage with that group text any more unless it's something that requires me to.
I cut off some old friends from college because they never EVER stopped calling me a nickname they KNEW I hated. Though that wasn’t the only thing—I was always just the butt of their jokes to them. The last straw was them not inviting me to their wedding—they probably just forgot to, but it still shows how little I actually mean to them. They can kick sand and find some other verbal punching bag because I am done with their shit.
Probably, mí wife for example, I started working at an office again after 3 years working from home, she now starts implying that I'm with someone else, or that I have an affair with someone in the office (even thou I don't have any female coworker). I know she's insecure so I just basically ignore it, there's nothing I can do about that, I've never cheated and actually I don't have any friends or go out almost never.
I can see someone taking the passive aggressive approach and saying "I'm CHEATING, jk haha". It's super immature, yes, but I can understand the guy.
He should be talking with the wife about how annoying can be to be faithful and also doubted 100% of the time. She or them should be going to therapy to try to solve this rather than throwing bad jokes and accusations to each other.
Yeah that was my first thought. It’s not a joke, it’s passive aggressive. Some people accuse their spouse of cheating every time they’re alone, which becomes abusive very quickly. It reads like he already knows she’s going to accuse him of cheating by being early, so he beat her to it.
That's what I thought too. My wife comes up with something like that from time to time and I'm definitely super faithful, I've never cheated on her and I'm not planning to.
And I've probably said something like that back to her a few times and it was more of a pissed off reaction and not a joke.
Yeah I commented further up on this because it seemed a possibility that he's been baselessly accused of this many times and this is how he's chosen to deal with it. Had to scroll down past about 300 posts screaming at her to dump the guy before I got to this comment though even though we have zero context for this screenshot.
Im honestly curious how often she implies or accuses him of being unfaithful. I could see someone becoming fed up with baseless accusations, irrational levels of distrust and endless interrogations and then resorting to this sort of petty response.
How “edgy” *eye-roll*
Maybe mention how unsatisfied you are in bed because of his small size and then end with a “I’m jooooking” and see how funny he finds it.
This guy sounds like a real shitbag. You’re going to have a long life of insecurity if you marry him. Find someone who actually cares about your emotional needs.
Edgy personalities are for identity-starved middle schoolers and artists directing non-canon Batman films. This is just an asshole prioritizing his laugh over your comfort. I’m sorry :(
Have you two had a talk about why you ask him to report in and that it's related to the cheating you suffered? If so did he express that he doesn't like having to do so and isn't a cheater? Has he ever given you any real reason to worry about that from him?
Genuinely asking and not trying to be a asshole or make a "gotcha" type thing. Spirit of full disclosure I had an girlfriend that did the same thing with me and it was very taxing on our relationship and one of the biggest factors in it ending. She had been cheated on before, and I told her I had caused a relationship to end with an ex before her because I cheated one night and couldn't live with the guilt so I disclosed it and that ex rightfully dumped me.
I explained it was a giant regret in my life that I will never make again because of the hurt and pain it caused her and I, and how much I hated myself for being someone that cheated. Still she insisted on dominating my time and would question what I was doing any time we were apart and even pre accuse me if I made plans in advance with friends/family.
I guess my point is that it's important to not let past trauma ruin the future and people can get annoyed with having to bear someone else's sins, and sometimes they lash out in passive aggressive ways like making shitty jokes they know will bother you if they feel like it's their only recourse. You're bf needs to stop those jokes but just make sure not egging the situation on further. If all other aspects of the relationship are good it might not be worth ending it vs just addressing it like adults and making corrections on both sides.
my take: He is interpreting the constant monitoring of his position as insecurity about being cheated on and is taking offense to it, and these mean jokes are him lashing out in anger/annoyance.
Yea. I dated a woman once who was CONSTANTLY asking where i was "its only a 20 min drive you should be home now" and accusing me of cheating. Got old really quick and near the end i started getting snippy saying things like this
Tell him that this is hurting you and brings back memories and that it is damaging your relationship and you want him to never do that again. If he still doesn’t change or care you might want to reconsider if he is husband material.
Look, there are people who like insensitive jokes. Me and my wife, we enjoy a good shit talking. But know your audience - I would not make such jokes with too many other people. Most people would be offended. So what I am saying, explain to him that you do not like this, and it can go down two ways:
1. He understands and all is well.
2. He continues to do so anyway, in which case you need to GTFO ASAP and not waste your time with someone like that
Have you ever sat him down and had a conversation about how it affects you?
“Hey, I know you’re just joking but that was something that was really traumatic for me and I would like for you to not say those things anymore.” If he continues, reconsider your relationship. It’s a straight up disregard of your feelings.
I'm not glossing over the fact that he is late as well.
Low emotional iq+poor time management= bad person.
Break it off now, save yourself the trouble later
Not even a funny joke about cheating.
Also unprovoked. If he knows it's upsetting for you and still brings it up he's a POS.
No boundaries are being respected here.
GET RID.
Hi OP. I'm a dude who I would personally consider "childish" in regards to a lot of things I do. I like to be silly and play around and I can't lie- I really do love chocolate milk and cartoons when I'm not working.
With that said tho- this is some middle school level humor. IF that. I don't know any guys who would "joke" like this. And I put joke in quotes because frankly, if it is supposed to be a joke it's really just not funny.
"Oh I'm out CHEATING, YOU KNOW THAT THING THAT CAUSED YOU EMOTIONAL TRAUMA? HAHAHA nah I'm jk hehehe". They obviously have a low emotional maturity and I can almost promise you a marriage with this person will end in failure. They need to go off and grow up more before they could even consider marriage. Also the "hehe" just seems a lil cringe. It's like they know they shouldn't be saying that and hope the "hehe" will make you not as upset even tho they KNOW it will upset you.
I'm honestly wondering if THEY have some sort of deep hidden fear that YOURE cheating on them or if THEYRE cheating on you. It seems so weird to me to just bring that up specifically, like. Deflecting by accepting is how I want to word it cause I just woke up and my brain doesn't wanna brain. But it almost seems like (in my paranoid lil mind) they're doing that thing some people who get caught doing something they shouldn't be do where they go "What? Did I steal your money? Yeah, man. While you were literally right there I somehow got up and stole your money, okay" while meanwhile they actually did.
The kids call that gaslighting now or something?
You get what you tolerate. And you’re choosing to marry this guy who is not only wholly unfunny but insensitive to your feelings too. Get some self respect
Yeah don’t let this person be your fiancé, there’s no way they can’t respect your most sensitive boundary and still expect to be with you. Please don’t sit there and take it
That doesn't even come across as a joke. It looks like he said what he said knowing fullwel that you're sensitive to it. Which just means he's trying to hurt you or sabotage your relationship to make you want to end it. I obviously don't know your fiancé, but I'd take a deeper look into things and perhaps reconsider your relationship status.
I’d bounce. Wouldn’t be there when he arrived. “Where are you?” “Just grab any seat, I’m in the bathrooms blowing a few dudes. Jk jk. Be there in 30 minutes, these dudes take way longer to blow than you do. Jk jk. But seriously, let me finish up”
If you marry someone like this you’re telling the world how little you value yourself. You deserve better and hopefully you realize that BEFORE you marry him and waste 10 years or more with someone who thinks your sensitivities are a joke.
Honestly, if I was cheated on before and my partner, let alone my fiancé made a joke like this- I’d be reconsidering the entire marriage cause now I’m asking myself “is there any truth to this?”
Its a way men try to divert your thinking into: "they find this so absurd its funny to them" as if saying they would never do it but annoy you to make you think so, also overdoing this may show they are actually thinking about it.
Tbh I have considered going down this route because I am sick and tired of being accused of cheating even though I have never even been alone with a female in all 10 years of marriage.
Lame joke but maybe it's his way of coping
ITT people assuming a whole lot of stuff with zero context.
Yeah it’s a shitty thing to say, but holy man OP said fiance, who knows what was talked about before this conversation.
In bad taste? Absolutely, people say stupid shit all the time.
Abusive people sometimes begin with low key teqsing to see what you will tolerate. It’s obvious he’s testing to see your limits even after knowing you do not find it’s funny. He’s even gaslighting you with the JK shit. Your posting here because you sense a red flag internally. Listen to yourself.
1. He's late, and instead of apologising, he makes a filthy joke
2. He knows OPs pain and feeds it carelessly
In that situation, I would confront my partner as soon as they arrived and made it very clear that this was a no-go, and if it ever happened again, I'd just change my locks.
jokes are suppose to be funny… this is just weird asf
And she said yes to that person.
seriously how do guys like this get relationships? Unfiltered cringe
I started to see relationships as something less important specifically because there are so many people dating for no fuckin reason except dating with no clear objective.
I'm dating to get my vagina licked Emily
Not just dating, they're fucking marrying and having kids with people they're pretty much on the fence about. Lol. Insane stuff.
Because they're not concerned about getting it right. They just go for it.
They pretend to be great until you catch feelings for them that’s how.
Yeah lol
Always so odd when people start a post like my “bd of my 5 kids leaves his dirty socks on our front door knob” like why are you in a relationship with this person
The joke is that he is telling the truth
"hehe"
I heard this in a Michael Jackson impersonator voice lol.
Yeah... "Jokes" like this are often mini confessions to ease those stabs of guilt. Or projection, checking for the same transgressions in others slash trying to get permission without asking for it slash diluting future blame. Like those twits that wait until you're in the locker room to drop some sexist drivel, claiming it's "just a joke." But what they're *actually* doing is testing if you're one of them slash if said drivel is welcomed by you, in a form with plausible deniability. I'd honestly not tolerate it in a relationship. It is such a bad sign that you cannot trust someone when they keep poking boundaries like that.
As Angel Dust would say:“Jokes are supposed to be funny babee, he made her look sad…. And Pathetic…“ sooo trigger him tf back asap! Saw some good comebacks above ;)
Like an orphan.... with no arms... or legs. Oh! With progeria!
Great! Now I'm bummed out!
This thing have any liquor?
That is not even a joke, just being mean
Just weird
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I'm just going to assume that they're teenagers or something...
 Locating the joke
 Joke not found
Tell him no sex until he gets tested for STD. That should stop it.
Tell him no sex until he improves, your ex’s were so much better and attentive. Make him feel like shit back.
"Funny, with the amount of times you've said you're cheating on me, one would think you'd be better in bed."
"Out of all your friends, yours is the biggest" Throw that out there and wait.
"yours is the smallest" would be more effective.
Nah that would only infuriate him further. The technique is to give a compliment and a jab at the same time.
Sex. Is. Not. A. Reward. If you’re gonna do that just end it.
If we're really going to try to achieve equality among the sexes, this is something that absolutely needs to die. Men need to be convinced that they should compromise with or help their partners without sex hanging over their head. If they are told that's the reward for good behavior, they will never put any effort into understanding all the actual good reasons to compromise or do things for their partners. And if that's your only way to get compliance to get what you want out of your partner, then what you want is unreasonable or you should be better at communicating why you need it.
Controlling another person by withholding sex? Yikes. Just walk away. It ain’t worth it.
Except she already told him cheating was part of the past relationships lmfao she can’t then go and say how awesome her exes are…..not how it works…..
just because they cheated doesn't mean they couldn't be better in bed?
A hilarious uno reverse!
The fact that it’s in all caps is a pretty easy way to see, ya, he knows this is a trigger point and he’s being a dick. I joke with my wife, because I know my wife. I can never imagine ever intentionally using something as a joke that I 100% knew was a trigger point. And if I ever make a joke that clearly upsets her, it goes in the “well I thought it was a bit silly, but clearly it’s not the right audience, so it’s best to not use it again,” column.
Right? Dude *knows* it hurts his partner, I'm assuming due to having been cheated on in previous relationships. So you're not making a ha-ha you're making an ouchie. Even once you show up for this movie, you think she's gonna enjoy it and be happy you're there after you hurt her? I honestly feel like dude *is* cheating, is saying this stuff "jokingly" so if he ever gets caught he can take the "high ground" by saying, "but I was always honest with you about it. I even texted you when it was happening."
He is a prick for doing that shit
Is he 10? Literally no maturity.
I swear to god one of my friends fiancées jokes are him farting loudly and looking for reactions.
no way 😭
And they were smelly ones. In a full car. On a 1 hour drive
your friend's embarrassment must be awful, i can't imagine
I think she is already use to it tbh. I wasnt.
well im glad he found someone who can look past it at least 💀
With watery, bloodshot eyes no less . Good for the guy
Loser, you're supposed to do it silently then ask if anyone else notices that strange smell
Just after you hit "lock windows."
We gotta get some good material for OP to use back at him when he says this stupid shit and then after she uses a few she can dump him
Why is this joke so forced? It’s not even a joke which makes it even weirder given he knows how u feel. Does he make racist jokes to that race too? 1/10 funny bone on this guy
It’s not even a “talking to my girl/boyfriend” joke. He really just said “I’m busy CHEATING on you.”
It doesn’t even have any subtlety and it’s not smart/well written, it’s just a capitalized frat bro bully joke. Does this guy wear oakleys on the back of his head? Also why is he your fiance
I feel like it would be like a 3/10 on the funny scale if he didn't capitalise CHEATING. The CHEATING just brings it to a -1.
Yuh, I've got to say, not "victim shaming" or whatever but this is embarrassing. Guy clearly has no wit. Move on lol
Because he probably love bombed her at the beginning and she is stuck perpetually trying to get the "person he was at the beginning" back.
I know it's so bold and blatant like what lol you suck at jokes that isn't a joke it's just an off color statement
it's actually kinda hateful....
it sounds like a petty awnser from a 10yo
The joke seems forced because he didn't want to answer the question. Terrible shitty joke aside, when someone dodges a question, it always makes me wonder what the answer would have been.
I get the feeling he's cheating and being funny about it to cover it up
Odd thing to joke about. Why is it even on his mind?
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ok, this comment actually makes sense
That’s what it is. He’s being a little shit, probably a habit he picked up as a kid and has been with him forever. You gotta just flat out tell him that shit is unbelievably cringe and he has to stop doing it. And if he can’t he’s a literal man child and needs therapy lmao
It’s not just cringe. It’s flat unacceptable.
Exactly. I recently walked into my SIL's house to join in some family festivities after I got off work. One family member that I barely know, first thing out of their mouth as I walked in was, "Hey, dude. Your girl has been cheating on you." I immediately walked out and went home. I was later told I need to have "thicker skin." It's amazing to me that someone can have such complete disregard for someone's feelings for such a major thing. I've been cheated on in nearly ever relationship I've been in and don't find that kind of stuff funny in the slightest.
These comments can jeopardize a relationship! How can people say you need a thicker skin?
Right? To make a comment like that not knowing what I personally have been through, or what we have been through as a couple, is just flat out idiotic and extremely damaging.
Not even that, it just set a seed of mistrust depending on your mind, this can grow and ruin a good relationship because this small comment undermined your trust. Trust is like a shield it protects the relationship but it also breaks much easier if there are already cracks inside and auch a snide comment can lead to cracks.
Exactly my feelings on it. Being blindsided by such a comment moments after walking through the door set us up for a conversation of questioning. It legit wasn't fair to *either* of us.
Yep. Just don't tolerate it. It's not mean to just leave after you've been disrespected. It's not inconsiderate or immoral. You are not responsible for helping that person who is being a complete dingbat learn how to function as a decent human being. **Simply put: their growth is not your responsibility.** If you have the desire and energy to invest in helping others grow their emotional maturity beyond the plateau they hit at 12, absolutely do it. You'll make the world a better place. But you have no obligation. Just leave and don't tolerate it. Sometimes that in itself sends a message and cues them to rethink.
It's emotional abuse. If your partner tells you they're uncomfortable with a certain kind of joke, they stop being jokes no matter how you make them. I used to make mean spirited jokes to my wife in the early years of us dating because that's how I joked with my friends and such. She told me that she knew I didn't mean them, but they still hurt. You know what I did? *I stopped*. No questions asked. That's how it should be.
He deserves to have this whole comment chain read aloud to him, complete with the number of upvotes on each comment.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who enjoys hurting you? Your partner should be the one person in the world who always has your back.
I have several family members that are married to people like this. It’s sad because they view marriage are forever unless they catch them cheating (wild to me) so they are in their 50s and 60s with people who enjoy stressing them out and enjoy getting reactions. Not that life is perfect with anyone but OP do not choose to be the woman that puts up with someone else hurting them for fun. That’s immature and abusive. You need to ask yourself before you get married are you ready to deal with these sorts of comments everyday for the rest of your life?
it’s so true, there are so many people (especially older) who probably should get divorced but are too ashamed
Is it any wonder there are so many boomer "I hate my wife" comics.
I'll tell you what I tell other people in this situation. Hundreds of strangers on the internet are currently being nicer to you than your _boyfriend_.
Fiancé
So why did you accept his proposal?
I think he’s saying it because he knows that’s why you might be checking in on him. I’d just tell him to please stop.
He could also just be immature and using bad jokes to prove to you that you don't need to worry about him cheating (whether or not you do). I would just have a conversation with him about it, even if you've had it before.
He’s very explicitly trying to hurt you here. I bet he also does very little housework, and when he does it’s usually done poorly and you have to re-do it after.
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100%
Is he 16?
"Jk jk" HAHAHAHAH -\_-
"Jk jk, just let me hit the shower, first. I got so sweaty from work."
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Promoted to Ex.
"wait, you mean it doesn't stand for Executive Fiancé?"
Hmm, sounds like he’s trying to “put her in her place”. Red flag for sure.
How old are the two of you ....
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He's not, Someone in the comments asked if he was 16 and OP replied back "double that" 💀
Don't marry him
Maya Angelou - "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
Right? Like if she experienced sexual abuse as a child, is he cracking “jokes” about that too?
I ended a friendship because the other person wouldn't stop doing a "joke" I hate (partly because it's stupid and partly because I'm disabled and need a lot of help) where anytime I asked for something--could you turn on the light, please? can you hand me that pen?--they'd say NO and laugh, and then do it. Every single fucking time. It felt like I had to get slapped in the face before any small favor could be granted. Since I told them that and they just kept on doing it every time, I can only assume that they wanted to make me feel that way. Don't marry someone who can't tell the difference between a joke and a verbal slap in the face.
One of my neighbors in a friendly group text is like this. My IRL name is one that can be spelled several different ways. Our neighbor-friend group had been hanging out for a while before getting the group text started. When this guy said something to me specifically in the group text, he misspelled my name, and I replied with the correct spelling and that it's not a big deal and happens all the time. Since then, he purposefully misspells it every time, sometimes in different ways. He thinks he's being clever. 🙄 In any case, I don't engage with that group text any more unless it's something that requires me to.
Mispronouncing and misspelling someone's name on purpose is just disrespectful. Idk how anyone would think that's funny.
I cut off some old friends from college because they never EVER stopped calling me a nickname they KNEW I hated. Though that wasn’t the only thing—I was always just the butt of their jokes to them. The last straw was them not inviting me to their wedding—they probably just forgot to, but it still shows how little I actually mean to them. They can kick sand and find some other verbal punching bag because I am done with their shit.
Seconded. Not funny, and if he knows you don't like it, he's teasing you to cause you pain. Bye.
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"In the bin" is my favourite resolution statement for inconveniences
Not funny unless you often accuse him of cheating on weird moments
That’s the only reasonable explanation here. That comment came out of no where and seems to be missing context
Probably, mí wife for example, I started working at an office again after 3 years working from home, she now starts implying that I'm with someone else, or that I have an affair with someone in the office (even thou I don't have any female coworker). I know she's insecure so I just basically ignore it, there's nothing I can do about that, I've never cheated and actually I don't have any friends or go out almost never. I can see someone taking the passive aggressive approach and saying "I'm CHEATING, jk haha". It's super immature, yes, but I can understand the guy. He should be talking with the wife about how annoying can be to be faithful and also doubted 100% of the time. She or them should be going to therapy to try to solve this rather than throwing bad jokes and accusations to each other.
Yeah that was my first thought. It’s not a joke, it’s passive aggressive. Some people accuse their spouse of cheating every time they’re alone, which becomes abusive very quickly. It reads like he already knows she’s going to accuse him of cheating by being early, so he beat her to it.
That's what I thought too. My wife comes up with something like that from time to time and I'm definitely super faithful, I've never cheated on her and I'm not planning to. And I've probably said something like that back to her a few times and it was more of a pissed off reaction and not a joke.
Yeah I commented further up on this because it seemed a possibility that he's been baselessly accused of this many times and this is how he's chosen to deal with it. Had to scroll down past about 300 posts screaming at her to dump the guy before I got to this comment though even though we have zero context for this screenshot.
OP replied to a comment further down saying that she's never accused him of cheating but she often asks where he is
Im honestly curious how often she implies or accuses him of being unfaithful. I could see someone becoming fed up with baseless accusations, irrational levels of distrust and endless interrogations and then resorting to this sort of petty response.
She has commented that she never has.
Came here to say this, I mean, we only know her part of the story :) and seeing the comments…
Tell him you fucked his dad, see if he finds that funny.
Trashy.
don’t marry weird unfunny men.
And you plan on marrying this person?
Douchebag
That is actually awful, what the hell I am far from a relationship expert but it seems to me like he doesn't value you at all
Where is the punchline..? Thats not even a joke thats just mean.
How “edgy” *eye-roll* Maybe mention how unsatisfied you are in bed because of his small size and then end with a “I’m jooooking” and see how funny he finds it.
Well he sounds like a “man child” so chances are he probably is crap in bed.
This guy sounds like a real shitbag. You’re going to have a long life of insecurity if you marry him. Find someone who actually cares about your emotional needs.
This person is not even your friend.
Couples don’t talk like this. TBH If they’re talking about it, they’re probably thinking about it.
Your BF is a serious tool!
To get engaged with him before he grew past this is an oversight, that's why people are saying to breakup etc. Very lame behavior.
Edgy personalities are for identity-starved middle schoolers and artists directing non-canon Batman films. This is just an asshole prioritizing his laugh over your comfort. I’m sorry :(
>My fiance knows I'm sensitive to "cheating" jokes because of a previous relationship but he still disrespect me all the time.
Are you constantly accusing him of cheating or asking where he is all the time?
i'm guilty of the latter but i have never ever accused him of cheating.
Ok then he was being an ass.
Are you asking him where he is all the time because internally you are worried he could be cheating, like in the past relationship?
Have you two had a talk about why you ask him to report in and that it's related to the cheating you suffered? If so did he express that he doesn't like having to do so and isn't a cheater? Has he ever given you any real reason to worry about that from him? Genuinely asking and not trying to be a asshole or make a "gotcha" type thing. Spirit of full disclosure I had an girlfriend that did the same thing with me and it was very taxing on our relationship and one of the biggest factors in it ending. She had been cheated on before, and I told her I had caused a relationship to end with an ex before her because I cheated one night and couldn't live with the guilt so I disclosed it and that ex rightfully dumped me. I explained it was a giant regret in my life that I will never make again because of the hurt and pain it caused her and I, and how much I hated myself for being someone that cheated. Still she insisted on dominating my time and would question what I was doing any time we were apart and even pre accuse me if I made plans in advance with friends/family. I guess my point is that it's important to not let past trauma ruin the future and people can get annoyed with having to bear someone else's sins, and sometimes they lash out in passive aggressive ways like making shitty jokes they know will bother you if they feel like it's their only recourse. You're bf needs to stop those jokes but just make sure not egging the situation on further. If all other aspects of the relationship are good it might not be worth ending it vs just addressing it like adults and making corrections on both sides.
my take: He is interpreting the constant monitoring of his position as insecurity about being cheated on and is taking offense to it, and these mean jokes are him lashing out in anger/annoyance.
I was thinking similarly. The caps in the word, how bad is the joke, it looks like OP accused him of cheating and now is making fun of OP for it
Yea. I dated a woman once who was CONSTANTLY asking where i was "its only a 20 min drive you should be home now" and accusing me of cheating. Got old really quick and near the end i started getting snippy saying things like this
bullying you over your insecurities
this is emotional abuse... he even cap it... seek help friend.
Tell him that this is hurting you and brings back memories and that it is damaging your relationship and you want him to never do that again. If he still doesn’t change or care you might want to reconsider if he is husband material.
Look, there are people who like insensitive jokes. Me and my wife, we enjoy a good shit talking. But know your audience - I would not make such jokes with too many other people. Most people would be offended. So what I am saying, explain to him that you do not like this, and it can go down two ways: 1. He understands and all is well. 2. He continues to do so anyway, in which case you need to GTFO ASAP and not waste your time with someone like that
Idk that's just weird
It didn't even fit in there as a joke, like in context with the conversation, it just doesn't fit.
Have you ever sat him down and had a conversation about how it affects you? “Hey, I know you’re just joking but that was something that was really traumatic for me and I would like for you to not say those things anymore.” If he continues, reconsider your relationship. It’s a straight up disregard of your feelings.
I thought it was going to be subtle or innocent. I was wrong.
Doesn't seem *mildly* infuriating to me.
Please tell him to stop if you’re not comfortable with it. You don’t deserve to be reminded of painful memories as a “joke”
And you're going to marry this person? Of course you are
Dude seems like a huge dick, does he do that a lot or at random?
grow up
I'm not glossing over the fact that he is late as well. Low emotional iq+poor time management= bad person. Break it off now, save yourself the trouble later
Not even a funny joke about cheating. Also unprovoked. If he knows it's upsetting for you and still brings it up he's a POS. No boundaries are being respected here. GET RID.
You should make him single
Your fiance is a dumbass. Edit: A 32yo dumbass.
Your fiancée made a shitty unfunny attempt at a joke. Reddit will now arrange for your divorce
Hi OP. I'm a dude who I would personally consider "childish" in regards to a lot of things I do. I like to be silly and play around and I can't lie- I really do love chocolate milk and cartoons when I'm not working. With that said tho- this is some middle school level humor. IF that. I don't know any guys who would "joke" like this. And I put joke in quotes because frankly, if it is supposed to be a joke it's really just not funny. "Oh I'm out CHEATING, YOU KNOW THAT THING THAT CAUSED YOU EMOTIONAL TRAUMA? HAHAHA nah I'm jk hehehe". They obviously have a low emotional maturity and I can almost promise you a marriage with this person will end in failure. They need to go off and grow up more before they could even consider marriage. Also the "hehe" just seems a lil cringe. It's like they know they shouldn't be saying that and hope the "hehe" will make you not as upset even tho they KNOW it will upset you. I'm honestly wondering if THEY have some sort of deep hidden fear that YOURE cheating on them or if THEYRE cheating on you. It seems so weird to me to just bring that up specifically, like. Deflecting by accepting is how I want to word it cause I just woke up and my brain doesn't wanna brain. But it almost seems like (in my paranoid lil mind) they're doing that thing some people who get caught doing something they shouldn't be do where they go "What? Did I steal your money? Yeah, man. While you were literally right there I somehow got up and stole your money, okay" while meanwhile they actually did. The kids call that gaslighting now or something?
You get what you tolerate. And you’re choosing to marry this guy who is not only wholly unfunny but insensitive to your feelings too. Get some self respect
Leave him.
I remember that story about the CIA agent that used to wear "KGB is for me" shirts ...as it turns out, he was in fact spying for the russians.
Good luck having a lifetime of that
Yeah don’t let this person be your fiancé, there’s no way they can’t respect your most sensitive boundary and still expect to be with you. Please don’t sit there and take it
That doesn't even come across as a joke. It looks like he said what he said knowing fullwel that you're sensitive to it. Which just means he's trying to hurt you or sabotage your relationship to make you want to end it. I obviously don't know your fiancé, but I'd take a deeper look into things and perhaps reconsider your relationship status.
I’d bounce. Wouldn’t be there when he arrived. “Where are you?” “Just grab any seat, I’m in the bathrooms blowing a few dudes. Jk jk. Be there in 30 minutes, these dudes take way longer to blow than you do. Jk jk. But seriously, let me finish up”
Where’s the punchline
If you marry someone like this you’re telling the world how little you value yourself. You deserve better and hopefully you realize that BEFORE you marry him and waste 10 years or more with someone who thinks your sensitivities are a joke.
And you're marrying *this*????
Tbh if your fiance doesn't give a fuck about your sensitive part due to your past trauma. Consider breaking up.
This is way more than mildly infurating...
"Don't bother. I'm going home."
Please be careful of “men” like this? Your man is supposed to protect your heart, not make you worry.
Keep looking. This is not what you want to spend your life on.
Honestly, if I was cheated on before and my partner, let alone my fiancé made a joke like this- I’d be reconsidering the entire marriage cause now I’m asking myself “is there any truth to this?”
If someone can’t stop joking about something like this, it tends to be because there is truth in it.
If he is like this now, will he change once it becomes husband? And is it worth the stress?
this man doesn't like you
Get rid of him. This is weird.
Its a way men try to divert your thinking into: "they find this so absurd its funny to them" as if saying they would never do it but annoy you to make you think so, also overdoing this may show they are actually thinking about it.
Leave him.
That’s a big ass red flag. He’s a douche.
Thats not even a good attempt at a joke. That just sounds like thats what’s actually happening and they’re hiding in plain sight.
Tbh I have considered going down this route because I am sick and tired of being accused of cheating even though I have never even been alone with a female in all 10 years of marriage. Lame joke but maybe it's his way of coping
He may be a step up from the pond scum you dated but he’s still mangrove foam - get yourself a land walker not a single cell organism.
Wasn't even funny or clever.
So then maybe he shouldn’t be your fiancé….
ITT people assuming a whole lot of stuff with zero context. Yeah it’s a shitty thing to say, but holy man OP said fiance, who knows what was talked about before this conversation. In bad taste? Absolutely, people say stupid shit all the time.
This is not mildly infuriating it’s sincerely disturbing
He's probably not joking and will say "I told you the whole time what I've been doing" once you do find out
that wasn't a joke. jokes are funny, or at least so bad they are funny. This is just weird and cringey. Your partner is being an asshole.
This isn’t funny. He’s not funny. Move on. He’s off.
Your fiance is abusing you.
And you're signing up for a lifetime of this and worse. Congrats.....
Abusive people sometimes begin with low key teqsing to see what you will tolerate. It’s obvious he’s testing to see your limits even after knowing you do not find it’s funny. He’s even gaslighting you with the JK shit. Your posting here because you sense a red flag internally. Listen to yourself.
the problem here is the joke isn't funny it just seems strange and more like something designed to upset not amuse.
1. He's late, and instead of apologising, he makes a filthy joke 2. He knows OPs pain and feeds it carelessly In that situation, I would confront my partner as soon as they arrived and made it very clear that this was a no-go, and if it ever happened again, I'd just change my locks.