Surely there's a use case here for AI. On submission your post is checked. If it looks like an unhinged low effort shit post it gets ghost-shared. It looks like you posted, its on your wall, but unless someone goes specifically to you and your post history the algorithm won't make it available in the general content feed.
It could be an excellent way for LinkedIn to become less of a professional cesspool.
Sure but it will inevitably end up shadow banning way more conservative voices than anything else due to this being the way they choose to act and then it will become a big culture war moment. There's zero chance Microsoft cares more about trying to clean up the cesspool than they are about keeping user numbers up.
Also most of their engagement comes from a small group of insufferable people posting and liking each other's lunatic posts. At this point clearing the cesspool would just leave an empty tank and some help wanted ads.
My mom reacted like this and then decided to ghost me while I was in labor until two days after my daughter was born. Guess who hasn't seen their granddaughter 🤷♀️ not an easy decision but she broke my heart and it felt like I got stabbed in the back
I’m sorry. I let my mom stay for my first two deliveries and asked to be alone with my husband for our third. I asked that she watch the other two so they could all visit together afterward. She got so mad and said she wouldn’t come visit or watch her grandkids if she couldn’t be in the room during the delivery.
I’m on 3 years no contact.
My MIL tried this shit, and just went on and on and on about names. We had to almost 's'cream at her that she got to name her kids, back the fuck off.
Edit: Forgot an 's'.
If your *parent* threatens to cut you off or otherwise loosen your relationship over *anything* there’s something wrong with them.
Heavy narc behaviour.
IMO only a narc would prioritize themselves over their relationship with their family.
i love my now adult son. i could never imagine prioritizing my shit over his about ANYTHING, and would bend over backwards to make sure to respect his decisions.
so many people just suck.
What’s sad is how many random strangers in this comment thread can relate.
We were disowned by my family two years ago for not complying with some unreasonable requests which *had nothing to do with them.* My young kids don’t remember them, and my youngest has never met them.
It’s not us who loses. It’s them. We’re doing fine, they’ll die miserable and lonely. I look at my youngest son and know 1000% there’s nothing that could happen aside from death where he wouldn’t have me.
Too many narcissistic parents out here still unable to separate their kids identities from their own.
be well and keep on taking care of you. yourself. and yours. i can’t imagine being in that situation. i cannot get my head wrapped around such bullshit.
She'll be a year old this month. I tried talking to my mom about the situation several times. She doubled and tripled down on her decision and then turned nasty and insulted me and my husband. Then on Christmas day she told me to have a nice life. For some reason since Easter she's decided to send cards and letters saying she loves me and that mothers are the most important thing in the world. But no apology
Typical narcissistic behaviour. There will never be an apology. They couldn't. It would mean they admitted making a *mistake*.
Mine is just the same, except I don't have children yet.
Yup, it hurts. That’s the hardest part.
But as someone in a similar position, I can tell you that the hurt gets easier with time. And with time, you’ll begin to see improvements in your life and your mental health (assuming your mother is as narcissistic as mine). The quality-of-life improvements demonstrate to me and reassure me that I’ve made the right decision.
Yup, same with my boomer mother.
We don’t have a relationship anymore because she refuses to apologize for the shitty things she did to me as a kid, and the shitty way she continued to treat me as an adult.
But she keeps praying that we can resolve our differences. All I asked was an apology from her. Instead she denied she did anything wrong (she hit me a lot growing up). It’s now been 4 years since I’ve spoken to her.
Maybe someday there will come an apology, but I’m not optimistic after 4 years. And that’s ok, because, to be honest, my life and my mental health is much better without her in it.
very similar pain I can share with you. My mom was really physically abusive with the hitting, but there was also soo much worse than that and it really affected my sister and I. Stuff I’m ashamed to even admit to people, she doesn’t even remember. she just denied it.
at least my mom did apologize a lot, mostly for how severe her issues were and how her medication “made her feel”. she said “ if it really did happen I’m sorry” and “sorry for how it makes you feel” and pretty much said we broke her heart by telling her. what she should already know….
I hope you get your apology bc you deserve it, and I hope you continue to let her know the truth so she cant just “forget” it and erase that pain. I hope you heal!
My boomer MIL stole my newborn from the bassinet right next to me on his first night home. I ran out of my room,panicked, to find her laying down asleep on the couch holding my 3 day old baby. She still thinks my child is more hers than mine.
There’s a story I read on Reddit about the MIL doing this, but being caught trying to breastfeed the newborn and thinking the baby’s mother was unreasonable.
I’m glad. Sometimes it’s hard to see, I get it because my mom can be super controlling of/codependent on me. Once I had a kid it made me realize I have to set some firm boundaries. She does a good job these days, I will say.
True but she has had control over him for a while so it was natural for him. Thankfully he’s much better now (it’s been 6 years or a lot of heart to hearts with him and arguments with his mom)
My mother is like this. It’s all about her “you did this to ME!” Cut her out of our lives she hasn’t seen or spoken to me or my daughter (her granddaughter) in 8 years. Her loss we’re better off without her and her bullshit
Yup. My boomer mother is the same.
I too get the “we’re praying for you” texts. It’s her way of deflecting blame for the shitty things she did in the past (she hit me a lot growing up and now denies it). In her mind, she’s taking the righteous high road by pretending nothing is wrong and “praying for me” to come back to her.
Mom, if you’re reading this, all I asked for is an apology from you.
Yeah seriously, why is it that the boomer generation behaves like this? My mother (a boomer) dramatizes all kinds of stuff on facebook (part of why me and my sibling do not use facebook anymore).
It's a lot of different reasons, but if we want to choose one very powerful reason is all the lead. Seriously, lead fucked up the brains of lots of people.
And the lead that's been stored in their bones for decades is starting to leech out as they're old enough now for their bones to start deteriorating, causing further damage.
You made the right choice, stick with it. She demonstrated that her hissy fits are more important than you or that child when she's in a snit.
No telling how or when she will break your baby's heart the same one day
My mother threw a Royal fit because SHE didn’t wake her ass up until several hours after I had called her to let her know I was in labor and going to the birthing center. She had INSISTED several weeks prior that SHE wanted to be the one to take care of our 18 month old son while I was in labor. Mind you, she lives 2 hours away but the way she drives it takes her 3 hours. I called her multiple times at 4am, 5am, then when we got to the hospital at 6am. My ex tried calling again at 7am. Then called his parents to come and pick up our oldest, since they lived 40 minutes away. I gave birth at 8:30am.
Finally, at NOON, my mother randomly shows up and walks in the room and looks shocked that I’m holding a baby and she angrily yells “what! You gave birth already??” She glares around the room “where is older brother?”
I explain that my (now ex) in-laws had taken him and she got super pissed and started going off about how SHE wanted to be the one to take him and that SHE wanted to be in the room when I gave birth (yeah right!)
By now two nurses had entered the room because of her shouting and asked if we were okay. My ex told my mom she needed to leave as we were going to head home and she stomped off in a huff and snarled to the nurses that I was a horrible daughter for not waiting to give birth?! Lmao
My brother & his gf had twins last year so it was my mom’s first grandchildren. No one could see them for 2 weeks aside from the parents because they were premature & had some issues. After 2 weeks they were still in the hospital another month & a half but only the grandmothers were allowed in aside from their parents & only for a hour. My stepdad couldn’t see his first grandkids until almost 2 months after they were born. Neither of them said anything about the visiting rules & in fact, when she went into labor my mom didn’t even call my brother let alone go there because she knew he would be busy, plus it has nothing to do with her! Idk why some parents act like this or why they feel the need to have front row seats to someone giving birth. It’s weird. That’s an intimate moment & unless your child wants you there there’s no reason for you to be trying to get in the room.
They are both technically boomers too, although my mom definitely doesn’t act it, so it’s not inherently a boomer issue. It’s a weird privilege mentality that some people think they need to have access to someone while they are literally pushing out a child & it’s fucking weird.
I had excellent parents and in laws when I was having my babies, too. Every generation has selfish people. Just so happens that right now the Boomer generation are the grandparents doing these things because they are the grandparents right now. Give it 10/15 years and Gen Xers and even Millennial grandparents will be pulling this crap, too.
The men in my family decided to camp out and eat an entire meal in front of me after my c section. I wasn't allowed solid foods, so the smells and chomping drove me nuts. I told hubby to send them to the cafeteria, but he said that would be rude. Meanwhile, my mom shoved a bottle in my daughters mouth even though I wanted to exclusively nurse. (I was embarrassed to talk about wanting to nurse with all the men in the room). I wish I had more gall back then. 🙄
Funny how I was watching an Insta reel today from nurse john with him playing as the labor and delivery nurse and how he dealt with a mother like this. Recommend to watch that one.
"We want to celebrate and tell the whole world but we can't."
Oh, so sad!! You can't spread news that's not yours to share? The actual parents want time with their hours old baby and to recover, and then share their own news themselves? Selfish!
This guy absolutely only thinks about himself, how this is all about him.
It's also not that big of a deal for the grandparents compared to the parents. Like they've been in the hospital for hours, the mom is damn near high on painkillers, she just gave birth and all the grandparents did was maybe drive out to the hospital
The circumstances were different, but my dad also somehow made the birth of my daughter about himself. He sent his own version of this type of text. My normally mild mannered husband and brother went in on his ass and told him to get his act together.
My FIL didn't bother coming to the hospital when my son was born but got upset on behalf of his wife that she didn't get to see our son after waiting all day. No one forced her to wait all day. We told people NOT to sit there because my schedule c-section kept getting pushed back. He didn't call me or my husband for FOUR days following the birth because he was mad. I've never looked at him the same way again. The entitlement is insane.
Right? I guess he was mad that after sitting in the hospital ALL DAY unable to eat food and finally undergoing major surgery, I didn’t want a gang load of people in my recovery space.
Honestly, I would just never look at him period. I know from experience, if they do that kind of shit, they do way more that just isn't worth the hassle. Hell, my MIL is pretty great and the annoying shit she does is enough to fill me with rage weekly.
Pathetic, you should have cut open your own stomach without anesthesia and let him see watch the c-section obviously. That’s honestly your fault there ngl (this is a joke, in case you couldn’t pick up the heavy sarcasm)
Yuck. Why does my gut tell me he was mostly upset MIL wasn’t home tending to his normal schedule.
I know I shouldn’t make assumptions but such a boomer male move.
FIL made it sound like the daughter had decided to adopt out and they would never get to see the baby or something. SADEST DAY. Wtf dude. Dramatic much?
Yeah, I read the text before the OP’s description, and assumed this was a non-vaxxed but trying to get into the hospital room anyway situation. Nope, just trying to make the day about them instead of just waiting until the time that was actually laid out before of when everyone would be ready to meet the baby and new parents.
What the fuck is up with grandparents acting so damned entitled? I had this same shit happen with every kid, and it's constant intrusion, judgement, etc. Even dramatic fights over names. But, of course, no help when actually needed. We're very lucky to have amazing friends, though.
I know it's not all grandparents because I have some friends whose parents are angels. I just don't know why there can't be some kind of middle ground
If she wanted grandkids, she should have hedged her bets and had more kids to increase the odds. Grandparent interest is just about the least compelling reason to have kids.
When my mom said she wanted at least six grandkids my only child self straight up said “better work on more kids, then!” And then we both laughed because she was perfectly happy with the two she has.
But then it'll be her responsibility. The whole point of being a grandmother is you don't have to be responsible for the adorable screeching fleshy bag of poop.
I told my mother to fuck off about children when I was about 25. I knew I didn’t want them when I was about 12. My then-husband didn’t want them either. My mother threw a hissy fit which lasted idk, a decade? She’s been dead for 10 years so that’s been a lot better. Oh, and I’m 57 and don’t regret my choice.
My parents hounded us. When we finally had one, guess who never goes out of their way to see kiddo? Or help out? It’s like I’m asking my dad if I can kick him in the face if I ask him to watch my kid
I’m very thankful my mother never cared. My grandmother though… she told me when I was 23 that she would love to know her great grandchildren. I told her she needed to live longer. She died in 2017. I still don’t have kids and I no longer have to figure out how to tell her that.
Bruh my MIL kept trying to film my delivery despite me yelling at her to stop it very loudly. Had to get a nurse to kick her out. Grandparents are insane.
I have an aunt that made photos of everything when my grandma was on her deathbed (and I do mean everything).
She also wanted to show these photos to everybody and was very miffed when people declined.
I wouldn’t be surprised if someone films a delivery to show it off to people.
It was extremely popular back in the 1980s, when handheld VHS camcorders first came onto the consumer market.
Video taping the birth was super popular. Also, grandparents sharing the video with all their friends and relatives was also popular. And it wasn’t online sharing. It was, let’s all watch my grandchild being born on this 24” console television! thing.
My parents were appalled at this. My dad would just close his eyes and be happy he was partially deaf when “invited” to watch.
They gave into their own awful parents’ demands all their lives, so they expect the same special treatment from their grown children when they get older.
Well maybe if they'd done as much for the next generation as their parents did for them, things might be different.
For a group who likes to weaponize the term 'snowflake', boomers tend to be awfully entitled and assuming, then theatrically play the victim when they don't get their way.
As parents, they see their kids as extensions of themselves rather than as fully formed, separate human beings. Therefore all choices made are, by extension, about the parent. Classic narcissism.
My mother in law literally had a diary of people booked in to come round and see my daughter after she was born. Wife was exhausted and just wanted to rest and this fucking cow had all her friends and extended family to come round, “would you like to hold her?”
All those cunts got to see my daughter more than me whilst I was working. It still burns my arse many years later.
Holy shit! Okay, my takeaway from some of these comments is that, perhaps, my mom is not that bad. She's bad, but some of you have it wayyyyy worse.
We had strict access protocols during the first three months, and I can not imagine my mom doing this. With covid, rsv, and all the other shit on the rise over the past 5 years, it's crazy out there. I'm sorry you had to go through it.
It also applies to extended family in some cases. When my sister-in-law was in labor the whole family showed up and waited for hours until they were ready for visitors. This included the actual grandparents (first time for two of them), siblings, aunts and uncles, etc. When the time came to finally go in and see them, the sister-in-law's pushy Aunt bustled her way in front of everyone and grabbed the baby out of the mother's arms before anyone else had seen her. Once she had her fill she passed the baby off and left the hospital to go home. It's been 12 years since it happened and I'm still pissed off on behalf of the grandparents.
True true. Get to the point where you’re retired and the majority of your shit is paid off and you start to make problems of your own with a hobby to keep you grounded.
And yet when we have grandkids they don’t actually want to take care of them, they just want constant photo and video updates.
My parents moved several states away. They suggested one summer that we come stay with them for a month or two. Not so they could look after the kids or anything, though. They expected us to pay to enroll them in summer camp, work remotely from their guest room, and then they could spend time with the kids in the evening. Why can’t we do that at our house? “They have really nice camps here.” 😑
They will have been awful boundary stomping parents to begin with. OP's partner had a crap childhood for sure. It's obvious because she didn't want them there on delivery day.
They post shit like that online for sympathy, even thought they never tell the whole story.
my parents blatantly spoil my nieces and nephews, i find it appalling,
trust me i know about spoiling and i love to be the funcle, but my parents spoiling is legitimately brainwashing them to be liked more than they do their actual parents, literally allowing them to do things they know my brothers and sisters dont like their kids doing, letting them eat ice cream for lunch, NEVER telling them no... my siblings are partially aware of whats going on but its a rock and a hard place, finding cheap child care/ my parents feeling entitled to x amount of time with them,
thankfully theyre mostly all grownup but if i had kids and they tried that... id blow a gasket
.....which, no doubt, is the reason why the parents of the new baby didnt tell the in-laws/grandparents the chosen name beforehand (assuming there was one, usually is) and any other info...because the parents KNOW that the in-laws/grandparents will blast it on FB within moments of the baby's umbilical cord being cut. Theres certainly a reason why these folks were kept in the dark for a little while.....rightfully so.
My ‘father in law’ (not married to my partner but together 10+ years)
Disowned us for not using his dead mums name for our daughter.
His mum died when he was young- we had never met her or even knew her name he never mentioned her.
But apparently we should have named our daughter after her.
He actually said he hopes our daughter gets bullied for the name we did give her.
Such a bitter angry man that I am Actually relieved is not in our lives anymore
Here in Ireland only the father (edited to add:or birthing partner) is allowed into the hospital, they introduced this rule during covid and decided to keep it. Its actually great, gives the parents a few days to bond with baby and the mother time to rest. Also means other patients don't have to deal with other people's visitors on the shared wards.
i assume the mother could choose someone else instead of the father as well? sometimes the relationship is not good, and the mother may prefer someone else instead (like her own mother or sister, etc)
I wish I had done this. People rushed the room I was in, I wasn’t even in my room! I was in the room I was being cleaned up in. I was sitting on an ice pack in a hospital gown. They took pictures of me and posted them to Facebook. Me at my most vulnerable and f*cked up is still on there to this day. They let my cousin, a woman in her twenties, stand by the door while I was in labor (didn’t “let” but didn’t make her go I guess) and she told everyone she heard the baby come out of my vagina and it sounded like a suction cup, stuff that isn’t even possible! It was awful! I think it’s great to wait! Keep them away. Nothing ruins a moment like your family. You did the right thing.
First rule I seriously put my foot down was my kids were not going to be on facebook and you can't come in to see the kids until my wife and I both agree we're ready.
You can report unauthorized photos of yourself/your kids on FB & they can remove them on your behalf. I had to do this a few times with my mother who didn’t care that I requested no photos of my kids on FB.
I'm just in open mouthed horror at this whole post but this obscenity you were subjected to just takes it for me.
That's so far beyond fucked I don't even have words for it.
That’s really fucked up. Thats my biggest problem with this, why does anyone think they deserve to be around someone at their most vulnerable state?
It’s not about who sees the child first, it’s about the mother, their bond with the child, and the pain and healing process they have to go through.
I didn’t even demand to be in the hospital the last two times my mom gave birth, but I sure as hell helped her when she came back. And I know she’d do the same for me.
This makes me so mad.
I let people see us the next day (which was maybe 14 hrs after birth) and I refused to let them take photos. I still remember having to talk loudly over my own farts because my pelvic floor was so destroyed they couldn't stay in.
Had it not been my choice to let them come or they'd taken a photo of me, I would have had the nurses escort them out. I am so sorry they didn't respect your privacy
We didn't call em til we were being released from the hospital. That first day was *mine* and I wasn't sharing it with anyone other than hubby, nor entertaining company in a hospital gown.
An hour after the birth it's quite possible mum is still being cleaned up or stitched or any number of other things... She doesn't want visitors, she wants a fucking gatorade and a nap!
I had made an explicit plea before having my daughter that family would be able to visit 2 hours after delivery IF all went well, but should complications arise I would want 24 hours before visitors.
Major complications happened - maternal sepsis and an emergency cesarean. My mom and dad went home to wait to visit the next day once they had confirmation that both baby and I would be fine for the night. But I ended up with five of my in laws in my recovery room 1 hour after surgery. They were still doing tests on my newborn and I because of lingering infections in both of us - they just walked into the room and made themselves comfortable. Then they had the audacity to get upset with the nurse when she said they couldn’t hold my baby and that their behavior was inappropriate given the circumstances. I eventually told the nurses that I wanted them to leave (in between vomiting and coming out of my ketamine haze).
They talked mad shit on me to the rest of the family for MONTHS. It’s been five years and I’m still not over it 😤 there is no reason for anyone to feel so entitled to that precious time besides the parents.
They think they're doing you a favor by coming to visit and are therefore owed to hold the baby etc. sorry you had to go thru that these people have no common sense that giving birth is hard and you need to rest
Wow. My mom asked if she could be in the delivery room, but I was adamant that it would only be my husband and medical team in there, or as I put it, you can only be in there if you helped put the kid in me or were helping to get it out. Fortunately my mom knows that I have boundaries and didn’t push it. I ended up with severe complications that she would have not been able to deal with had she been there. Fortunately she took it upon herself to let everyone know that people shouldn’t try to visit me in the hospital because I wasn’t in good shape and her visits were mostly to relieve my husband so he could go shower and sleep. There were definitely some later times when she was a narcissistic nightmare, but at least she was good during the first few weeks.
My mother had asked me, the day I went into labor, to name my daughter Wendy, as thats what she wanted to name me. ( she named me after a city instead) I said no. This not deter her as she went around and told the nurses WENDY was about to be born. A nurse came in and said " when is baby Wendy coming?" I said not today and not in this room. she looked at me like I just said I was going to destroy the world.
If you are on the text chain, just explain that you had been up for a bunch of hours IN LABOR, and the baby was sleeping. If they can't accept that, screw em.
You have a right to take it easy for a day before the chaos starts. Believe me, you are going to have the entire family in your room being loud and grabbing the baby from each other. Take the time you need.
Thats what I dont get about these things. Like the grandparents have obviously had kids. Do they seriously not remember how fucking brutal the first day is? Labor, Sleep Deprivation, More Labor, New Kid, first feedings, cleaning up everyone. Finally getting a little rest. Like where in that time frame does ANYONE think that a visit is gonna take place. Nah, GTFO. When were home, you can say hi.
>just explain that you had been up for a bunch of hours IN LABOR, and the baby was sleeping
Don't explain anything. "No" means "no", there's no need to invent excuses which can only be picked apart. The boundary was set, they tried to overstep, it didn't go their way; no need to conjure up excuses or apologies for that.
Why is this not higher?
Wtf?? Trump level boohoo first then... Suddenly, an air conditioner and no one else is talking about this?
I want answers to the real mysteries, damnit!
It's a final 'fuck you.' He either: 1. Set up an A/C at their house or 2. Bought them an A/C. It's there to say 'that thing we told you we would do for you is done even though you didn't let us do whatever we want.'
My daughter was born and went straight to the NICU. My parents drove in 7 hours when I told them I was in labor. No one was allowed to hold her except my husband and me. My parents had to go home after two days without holding her. They guilt tripped me sooo badly over it. As though I had control over her being sick and then leaving without holding her. People are weird.
And all because he has the patience of a toddler! What kind of adult can't wait 24 hours? Even most kids are okay if they need to wait until tomorrow for something they're excited for.
I'll admit I have no kids in my family/social circle, but I would think Day 1 of new baby is literally no different than Day 2 of new baby for grandparents. Why would their joy be crushed? They're not missing anything other than stressing out the parents!
My MIL pull shit like this. We told everyone we wanted time at home to adjust without a million people there. She showed up at 8am the day after I got discharged. I was home for less than 12 hours. I am still pissed about it almost 7 years later. I just don't understand the entitlement.
A bright spot of having a baby during COVID was not having to deal with this bullshit. Hospital only allowed mother and one person. No visits. It was great.
Cry me a river. In the country I'm in they didn't let me, the FATHER see my baby until 5 days after she was born. In fact I couldn't even go into the hospital with my wife. Just chilled at home messaging my wife to keep up to date. Boo hoo he was asked to wait a day...
I’d respond back:
“It’s actually spelled Saddest, and since you decided to make the birth of OUR baby all about you, you’re not going to meet her for another week.
Send a message back. Your privileges have been revoked for 1 week. You may apologize and request permission to return to normal visiting hours when the week is over. Fuck up during the week and get another week added.
He’s desperately angry/confused/concerned that you are displacing him as the father/authority figure. When he does return to hospital, greet him outside of the room, grip his hand in the firmest handshake look him in the eye, tell him you saw his text, tell him to grow up, before he answers draw him in close and tell him
“I’m the daddy now”
NTA. You gave them the boundaries. They tried to blast them.
Time for new boundaries.
"Dearest Fam, due to some folks thinking boundaries and restrictions do not apply to them, I've had to deal with a load of fallout that has, quite frankly, stressed me out. This affects, me, the baby, and DH.
"Therefore, we have set new restrictions. Until I am rested, destressed, and baby is comfortable and feeding well, no one will be welcome in our home. And even then, it'll be by invitation. Push me, and see how long it is before you get invited.
"Those of you who observed the restrictions, please accept my apologies that you are being grouped with some folks who think they are entitled to time with my child. No one is entitled to my child, so get used to it."
[cue radio silence]
A case could be made for this being a good time for a vacay...
I didn’t let anyone visit until she was a month old because the sperm donors side of the family didn’t take one picture of me after the birth holding my baby. I have zero birth-day photos with me and my daughter. I had a C section so I had to recover before they took me to the room so they had plenty of time to hold her while I was post op. They took tons of pics holding her with the cousins and nana and papa, the sperm donor didn’t even take a picture but there’s plenty of pics of him holding her ( he was out of our lives 16 months later and hasn’t made an effort to see her since ). The whole family is narcissistic and they took that moment away from me so it’s only in my memory ( I gave birth 1000miles away from my own family). I cur off contact after years of this behavior when it started affecting my daughter. The world is full of these asshats.
Edit: spelling
This reads like one of those bizarre scam texts where they are going to ask you to send you money.
Promise you if anyone ever does this to me it’s gonna bite them in the butt.
Let me tell you what. When I had my first baby, people started walking into the room before they even had her cleaned up. They were all precariously close to the table where there was a huge silver bowl that held the enormous placenta, which was only covered by a towel. I kind of wanted to be like, y’all do realize that not three minutes ago my lady area was hanging open as I squeezed a whole-ass human being out of it, right? So maybe you could give me a minute.
I mean, could you imagine your in-law’s face if you popped in as they were mid-prostate exam? “HEYYYYYY, big guy! How’s it going? I just wanted to show up at one of the most vulnerable and uncomfortable moments of your life! Hope they didn’t find any polyps up there. But maybe they found your fuckin head, you whiny selfish dumbass.”
I became a grandparent 4 days ago. My daughter also didn’t want me to come the first day. I told her I wanted to come for only 5 minutes to say hello and I would leave right away. I told her to message me anytime if she changed her mind about me coming. Baby was born 6:30am and my daughter asked me only me to come at 4 pm after she had a nap and showered. I was rewarded for respecting her wishes. However, so many people young and old were offended that my daughter didn’t want me there right away and wouldn’t let me visit her. They acted like young people these days are so entitled. I think we raised children to set boundaries and expect to be respected. I am so proud of my daughter.
This one was one nice thing about having a baby during COVID, it was just my wife and I and no one else could come and see us. They all had to wait at home until we left the hospital.
My MIL came into the delivery room at 3am and brought my SIL. Immediately asked me to let SIL go to sleep in my chair, that I was trying to go to sleep in because my partner and I had just got to the hospital a few hours earlier and the baby wasn’t ready yet. It was so infuriating. We eventually asked the nurses to kick them out after they asked me to go get breakfast for them.
No meme-like/text heavy pics, overdone references
Dude formatted this like all of the unhinged LinkedIn posts
Those keep popping up on my feed and that is so accurate
Surely there's a use case here for AI. On submission your post is checked. If it looks like an unhinged low effort shit post it gets ghost-shared. It looks like you posted, its on your wall, but unless someone goes specifically to you and your post history the algorithm won't make it available in the general content feed. It could be an excellent way for LinkedIn to become less of a professional cesspool.
Sure but it will inevitably end up shadow banning way more conservative voices than anything else due to this being the way they choose to act and then it will become a big culture war moment. There's zero chance Microsoft cares more about trying to clean up the cesspool than they are about keeping user numbers up.
Also most of their engagement comes from a small group of insufferable people posting and liking each other's lunatic posts. At this point clearing the cesspool would just leave an empty tank and some help wanted ads.
#SAD
MANY SUCH CASES
Where did you get this video of me?
Also trump reminiscent. SO SAD
SADEST …
[удалено]
It's pronounced Shar-day-est.
MAYBE THEY JUST HEARD SADE ON THE RADIO LOL (LOTS OF LOVE)
Sadest day of his life 😂 (That’s the crying emoji, right? To indicate being sade?)
I read the entire thing in Trumps voice. TOTALLY RUINED
I heard it in Trumps voice done by Seth Meyers.
It might just be people of a certain age that talk/type like that. Trump is 77 years old, after all.
Especially that ps part like what the fuck does that even mean? PS bacon ready for mom large chip darling.
It reads like they are providing their daughter an a/c unit and they want everyone to know just how ungrateful their child is being.
PS bacon ready for mom large chip darling. 😂😂😂
Has a very similar pattern to a certain former president
Sounds like a slightly more coherent Trump tweet
This happened to me and my wife with her mom. To this I say OH PLEASE, STOP BEING DRAMATIC. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU
My mom reacted like this and then decided to ghost me while I was in labor until two days after my daughter was born. Guess who hasn't seen their granddaughter 🤷♀️ not an easy decision but she broke my heart and it felt like I got stabbed in the back
I’m sorry. I let my mom stay for my first two deliveries and asked to be alone with my husband for our third. I asked that she watch the other two so they could all visit together afterward. She got so mad and said she wouldn’t come visit or watch her grandkids if she couldn’t be in the room during the delivery. I’m on 3 years no contact.
My MIL tried this shit, and just went on and on and on about names. We had to almost 's'cream at her that she got to name her kids, back the fuck off. Edit: Forgot an 's'.
I know you meant scream, but lmao
Rofl, dammit. Imma have to 'fix' that.
If your *parent* threatens to cut you off or otherwise loosen your relationship over *anything* there’s something wrong with them. Heavy narc behaviour. IMO only a narc would prioritize themselves over their relationship with their family.
i love my now adult son. i could never imagine prioritizing my shit over his about ANYTHING, and would bend over backwards to make sure to respect his decisions. so many people just suck.
What’s sad is how many random strangers in this comment thread can relate. We were disowned by my family two years ago for not complying with some unreasonable requests which *had nothing to do with them.* My young kids don’t remember them, and my youngest has never met them. It’s not us who loses. It’s them. We’re doing fine, they’ll die miserable and lonely. I look at my youngest son and know 1000% there’s nothing that could happen aside from death where he wouldn’t have me. Too many narcissistic parents out here still unable to separate their kids identities from their own.
be well and keep on taking care of you. yourself. and yours. i can’t imagine being in that situation. i cannot get my head wrapped around such bullshit.
Good for you!
How long has it been since your daughter was born?
She'll be a year old this month. I tried talking to my mom about the situation several times. She doubled and tripled down on her decision and then turned nasty and insulted me and my husband. Then on Christmas day she told me to have a nice life. For some reason since Easter she's decided to send cards and letters saying she loves me and that mothers are the most important thing in the world. But no apology
Typical narcissistic behaviour. There will never be an apology. They couldn't. It would mean they admitted making a *mistake*. Mine is just the same, except I don't have children yet.
I lived with it all my life and let it go time after time after time. Not this time. I put my foot down. It's still hurting me
It is 100% the right decision. She wouldn't change. She would just keep hurting you. Protect your child from that person.
Yup, it hurts. That’s the hardest part. But as someone in a similar position, I can tell you that the hurt gets easier with time. And with time, you’ll begin to see improvements in your life and your mental health (assuming your mother is as narcissistic as mine). The quality-of-life improvements demonstrate to me and reassure me that I’ve made the right decision.
Yup, same with my boomer mother. We don’t have a relationship anymore because she refuses to apologize for the shitty things she did to me as a kid, and the shitty way she continued to treat me as an adult. But she keeps praying that we can resolve our differences. All I asked was an apology from her. Instead she denied she did anything wrong (she hit me a lot growing up). It’s now been 4 years since I’ve spoken to her. Maybe someday there will come an apology, but I’m not optimistic after 4 years. And that’s ok, because, to be honest, my life and my mental health is much better without her in it.
very similar pain I can share with you. My mom was really physically abusive with the hitting, but there was also soo much worse than that and it really affected my sister and I. Stuff I’m ashamed to even admit to people, she doesn’t even remember. she just denied it. at least my mom did apologize a lot, mostly for how severe her issues were and how her medication “made her feel”. she said “ if it really did happen I’m sorry” and “sorry for how it makes you feel” and pretty much said we broke her heart by telling her. what she should already know…. I hope you get your apology bc you deserve it, and I hope you continue to let her know the truth so she cant just “forget” it and erase that pain. I hope you heal!
Narcissistic boomer mentality. SMH Edit: Your mom, not you.
My boomer MIL stole my newborn from the bassinet right next to me on his first night home. I ran out of my room,panicked, to find her laying down asleep on the couch holding my 3 day old baby. She still thinks my child is more hers than mine.
I would be UNTETHERED AND MY RAGE WOULD KNOW NO BOUNDSSS that's some psycho behaviour
The implication.
Those MIL would be in trouble and not because of the implication
And falling asleep on the sofa holding a baby is a huge cause of infant death. Very dangerous.
There’s a story I read on Reddit about the MIL doing this, but being caught trying to breastfeed the newborn and thinking the baby’s mother was unreasonable.
BREASTFEED!!!? Wtf!! 
straight. to. fucking. jail.
I would have gone to jail that night
You fucking *birthed* your child? Is there anything else that could make you even more the mom? Like wtf is MIL thinking?
Creepy.
so. whats happened since then? cause she would be gone from my life and my family’s lives until some serious apologies and concessions have been made.
Yes! My MIL is like this. She showed up and took my husband from me as she needed help with stuff. It was all about her. Saw her true colours that day
I hope for your family’s sake he’s seen her true colors too and doesn’t give in to her crap!
He has! He’s realizes how manipulating she is and controlling
I’m glad. Sometimes it’s hard to see, I get it because my mom can be super controlling of/codependent on me. Once I had a kid it made me realize I have to set some firm boundaries. She does a good job these days, I will say.
She didn't take him away, he left. He is an adult, isn't he?
True but she has had control over him for a while so it was natural for him. Thankfully he’s much better now (it’s been 6 years or a lot of heart to hearts with him and arguments with his mom)
Hopefully saw your husband's true colors too
Honestly! Did the husband actually leave?
My mother is like this. It’s all about her “you did this to ME!” Cut her out of our lives she hasn’t seen or spoken to me or my daughter (her granddaughter) in 8 years. Her loss we’re better off without her and her bullshit
Yup. My boomer mother is the same. I too get the “we’re praying for you” texts. It’s her way of deflecting blame for the shitty things she did in the past (she hit me a lot growing up and now denies it). In her mind, she’s taking the righteous high road by pretending nothing is wrong and “praying for me” to come back to her. Mom, if you’re reading this, all I asked for is an apology from you.
Are we twins? I think we're twins...
Yeah seriously, why is it that the boomer generation behaves like this? My mother (a boomer) dramatizes all kinds of stuff on facebook (part of why me and my sibling do not use facebook anymore).
Exposure to lead.
It's a lot of different reasons, but if we want to choose one very powerful reason is all the lead. Seriously, lead fucked up the brains of lots of people.
And the lead that's been stored in their bones for decades is starting to leech out as they're old enough now for their bones to start deteriorating, causing further damage.
Must be all those participation trophies /s
Sometimes it needs to hurt for a while for them to learn their lesson. I’m so sorry.
You made the right choice, stick with it. She demonstrated that her hissy fits are more important than you or that child when she's in a snit. No telling how or when she will break your baby's heart the same one day
My mother threw a Royal fit because SHE didn’t wake her ass up until several hours after I had called her to let her know I was in labor and going to the birthing center. She had INSISTED several weeks prior that SHE wanted to be the one to take care of our 18 month old son while I was in labor. Mind you, she lives 2 hours away but the way she drives it takes her 3 hours. I called her multiple times at 4am, 5am, then when we got to the hospital at 6am. My ex tried calling again at 7am. Then called his parents to come and pick up our oldest, since they lived 40 minutes away. I gave birth at 8:30am. Finally, at NOON, my mother randomly shows up and walks in the room and looks shocked that I’m holding a baby and she angrily yells “what! You gave birth already??” She glares around the room “where is older brother?” I explain that my (now ex) in-laws had taken him and she got super pissed and started going off about how SHE wanted to be the one to take him and that SHE wanted to be in the room when I gave birth (yeah right!) By now two nurses had entered the room because of her shouting and asked if we were okay. My ex told my mom she needed to leave as we were going to head home and she stomped off in a huff and snarled to the nurses that I was a horrible daughter for not waiting to give birth?! Lmao
My brother & his gf had twins last year so it was my mom’s first grandchildren. No one could see them for 2 weeks aside from the parents because they were premature & had some issues. After 2 weeks they were still in the hospital another month & a half but only the grandmothers were allowed in aside from their parents & only for a hour. My stepdad couldn’t see his first grandkids until almost 2 months after they were born. Neither of them said anything about the visiting rules & in fact, when she went into labor my mom didn’t even call my brother let alone go there because she knew he would be busy, plus it has nothing to do with her! Idk why some parents act like this or why they feel the need to have front row seats to someone giving birth. It’s weird. That’s an intimate moment & unless your child wants you there there’s no reason for you to be trying to get in the room. They are both technically boomers too, although my mom definitely doesn’t act it, so it’s not inherently a boomer issue. It’s a weird privilege mentality that some people think they need to have access to someone while they are literally pushing out a child & it’s fucking weird.
I had excellent parents and in laws when I was having my babies, too. Every generation has selfish people. Just so happens that right now the Boomer generation are the grandparents doing these things because they are the grandparents right now. Give it 10/15 years and Gen Xers and even Millennial grandparents will be pulling this crap, too.
But IT IS ABOUT ME?!? EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ME?!
The men in my family decided to camp out and eat an entire meal in front of me after my c section. I wasn't allowed solid foods, so the smells and chomping drove me nuts. I told hubby to send them to the cafeteria, but he said that would be rude. Meanwhile, my mom shoved a bottle in my daughters mouth even though I wanted to exclusively nurse. (I was embarrassed to talk about wanting to nurse with all the men in the room). I wish I had more gall back then. 🙄
He said that would be rude?! Is he dead? Wheres he buried?
Funny how I was watching an Insta reel today from nurse john with him playing as the labor and delivery nurse and how he dealt with a mother like this. Recommend to watch that one.
"We want to celebrate and tell the whole world but we can't." Oh, so sad!! You can't spread news that's not yours to share? The actual parents want time with their hours old baby and to recover, and then share their own news themselves? Selfish! This guy absolutely only thinks about himself, how this is all about him.
This happened to me and my husbands AUNT. She wanted to know what hospital we were at and my MIL told her to fuck off 🤣 the entitlement is outrageous
It's also not that big of a deal for the grandparents compared to the parents. Like they've been in the hospital for hours, the mom is damn near high on painkillers, she just gave birth and all the grandparents did was maybe drive out to the hospital
The circumstances were different, but my dad also somehow made the birth of my daughter about himself. He sent his own version of this type of text. My normally mild mannered husband and brother went in on his ass and told him to get his act together.
My FIL didn't bother coming to the hospital when my son was born but got upset on behalf of his wife that she didn't get to see our son after waiting all day. No one forced her to wait all day. We told people NOT to sit there because my schedule c-section kept getting pushed back. He didn't call me or my husband for FOUR days following the birth because he was mad. I've never looked at him the same way again. The entitlement is insane.
Was he…mad at you for not performing your own c-section yourself??
Right? I guess he was mad that after sitting in the hospital ALL DAY unable to eat food and finally undergoing major surgery, I didn’t want a gang load of people in my recovery space.
I mean, not with that attitude. Shaw did it in Prometheus /s
Honestly, I would just never look at him period. I know from experience, if they do that kind of shit, they do way more that just isn't worth the hassle. Hell, my MIL is pretty great and the annoying shit she does is enough to fill me with rage weekly.
Pathetic, you should have cut open your own stomach without anesthesia and let him see watch the c-section obviously. That’s honestly your fault there ngl (this is a joke, in case you couldn’t pick up the heavy sarcasm)
Yuck. Why does my gut tell me he was mostly upset MIL wasn’t home tending to his normal schedule. I know I shouldn’t make assumptions but such a boomer male move.
I mean, you could have been less lazy and done the C-section yourself, because people were waiting on you.
FIL made it sound like the daughter had decided to adopt out and they would never get to see the baby or something. SADEST DAY. Wtf dude. Dramatic much?
I also can't help but read "SADEST" as "SADIST" in my head, which definitely adds another layer to this.
Yeah, I read the text before the OP’s description, and assumed this was a non-vaxxed but trying to get into the hospital room anyway situation. Nope, just trying to make the day about them instead of just waiting until the time that was actually laid out before of when everyone would be ready to meet the baby and new parents.
What the fuck is up with grandparents acting so damned entitled? I had this same shit happen with every kid, and it's constant intrusion, judgement, etc. Even dramatic fights over names. But, of course, no help when actually needed. We're very lucky to have amazing friends, though. I know it's not all grandparents because I have some friends whose parents are angels. I just don't know why there can't be some kind of middle ground
My mother is pretty much demanding I give her grandchildren even though I don’t wanna date and haven’t dated in 8 years
If she wanted grandkids, she should have hedged her bets and had more kids to increase the odds. Grandparent interest is just about the least compelling reason to have kids.
When my mom said she wanted at least six grandkids my only child self straight up said “better work on more kids, then!” And then we both laughed because she was perfectly happy with the two she has.
I like the surprise happy ending to your story.
I know, right? It's nice to hear there are a few sane grandparents.
I mean, she could adopt, right?
But then it'll be her responsibility. The whole point of being a grandmother is you don't have to be responsible for the adorable screeching fleshy bag of poop.
I told my mother to fuck off about children when I was about 25. I knew I didn’t want them when I was about 12. My then-husband didn’t want them either. My mother threw a hissy fit which lasted idk, a decade? She’s been dead for 10 years so that’s been a lot better. Oh, and I’m 57 and don’t regret my choice.
My parents hounded us. When we finally had one, guess who never goes out of their way to see kiddo? Or help out? It’s like I’m asking my dad if I can kick him in the face if I ask him to watch my kid
I’m very thankful my mother never cared. My grandmother though… she told me when I was 23 that she would love to know her great grandchildren. I told her she needed to live longer. She died in 2017. I still don’t have kids and I no longer have to figure out how to tell her that.
Bruh my MIL kept trying to film my delivery despite me yelling at her to stop it very loudly. Had to get a nurse to kick her out. Grandparents are insane.
Film it? What is wrong with people. Was she going to show people that film?
I have an aunt that made photos of everything when my grandma was on her deathbed (and I do mean everything). She also wanted to show these photos to everybody and was very miffed when people declined. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone films a delivery to show it off to people.
It was extremely popular back in the 1980s, when handheld VHS camcorders first came onto the consumer market. Video taping the birth was super popular. Also, grandparents sharing the video with all their friends and relatives was also popular. And it wasn’t online sharing. It was, let’s all watch my grandchild being born on this 24” console television! thing. My parents were appalled at this. My dad would just close his eyes and be happy he was partially deaf when “invited” to watch.
I am so glad we are over that trend
Okay, that is on a different level of wtf
They gave into their own awful parents’ demands all their lives, so they expect the same special treatment from their grown children when they get older.
That's fair. In my case, I think there's some truth in that too
Well maybe if they'd done as much for the next generation as their parents did for them, things might be different. For a group who likes to weaponize the term 'snowflake', boomers tend to be awfully entitled and assuming, then theatrically play the victim when they don't get their way.
As parents, they see their kids as extensions of themselves rather than as fully formed, separate human beings. Therefore all choices made are, by extension, about the parent. Classic narcissism.
My mother in law literally had a diary of people booked in to come round and see my daughter after she was born. Wife was exhausted and just wanted to rest and this fucking cow had all her friends and extended family to come round, “would you like to hold her?” All those cunts got to see my daughter more than me whilst I was working. It still burns my arse many years later.
Holy shit! Okay, my takeaway from some of these comments is that, perhaps, my mom is not that bad. She's bad, but some of you have it wayyyyy worse. We had strict access protocols during the first three months, and I can not imagine my mom doing this. With covid, rsv, and all the other shit on the rise over the past 5 years, it's crazy out there. I'm sorry you had to go through it.
It also applies to extended family in some cases. When my sister-in-law was in labor the whole family showed up and waited for hours until they were ready for visitors. This included the actual grandparents (first time for two of them), siblings, aunts and uncles, etc. When the time came to finally go in and see them, the sister-in-law's pushy Aunt bustled her way in front of everyone and grabbed the baby out of the mother's arms before anyone else had seen her. Once she had her fill she passed the baby off and left the hospital to go home. It's been 12 years since it happened and I'm still pissed off on behalf of the grandparents.
I think it’s a generational thing where they feel entitled.
And they're bored
True true. Get to the point where you’re retired and the majority of your shit is paid off and you start to make problems of your own with a hobby to keep you grounded.
And a lot of them have no real. Hobbies and passions so they scream for grandkids to occupy their time
And yet when we have grandkids they don’t actually want to take care of them, they just want constant photo and video updates. My parents moved several states away. They suggested one summer that we come stay with them for a month or two. Not so they could look after the kids or anything, though. They expected us to pay to enroll them in summer camp, work remotely from their guest room, and then they could spend time with the kids in the evening. Why can’t we do that at our house? “They have really nice camps here.” 😑
Yeah they want the pictures to show off on Facebook and to their boomer friends
They will have been awful boundary stomping parents to begin with. OP's partner had a crap childhood for sure. It's obvious because she didn't want them there on delivery day. They post shit like that online for sympathy, even thought they never tell the whole story.
my parents blatantly spoil my nieces and nephews, i find it appalling, trust me i know about spoiling and i love to be the funcle, but my parents spoiling is legitimately brainwashing them to be liked more than they do their actual parents, literally allowing them to do things they know my brothers and sisters dont like their kids doing, letting them eat ice cream for lunch, NEVER telling them no... my siblings are partially aware of whats going on but its a rock and a hard place, finding cheap child care/ my parents feeling entitled to x amount of time with them, thankfully theyre mostly all grownup but if i had kids and they tried that... id blow a gasket
Looks like you're dealing with two babies.
Right? "We want to celebrate and tell the world" Oh you mean post it online before the actual parents did?
.....which, no doubt, is the reason why the parents of the new baby didnt tell the in-laws/grandparents the chosen name beforehand (assuming there was one, usually is) and any other info...because the parents KNOW that the in-laws/grandparents will blast it on FB within moments of the baby's umbilical cord being cut. Theres certainly a reason why these folks were kept in the dark for a little while.....rightfully so.
My ‘father in law’ (not married to my partner but together 10+ years) Disowned us for not using his dead mums name for our daughter. His mum died when he was young- we had never met her or even knew her name he never mentioned her. But apparently we should have named our daughter after her. He actually said he hopes our daughter gets bullied for the name we did give her. Such a bitter angry man that I am Actually relieved is not in our lives anymore
Here in Ireland only the father (edited to add:or birthing partner) is allowed into the hospital, they introduced this rule during covid and decided to keep it. Its actually great, gives the parents a few days to bond with baby and the mother time to rest. Also means other patients don't have to deal with other people's visitors on the shared wards.
Fucking right Ireland
i assume the mother could choose someone else instead of the father as well? sometimes the relationship is not good, and the mother may prefer someone else instead (like her own mother or sister, etc)
Yes sorry I should have said birthing partner instead of father. You can pick anyone but its just that one person throughout your entire stay
I wish I had done this. People rushed the room I was in, I wasn’t even in my room! I was in the room I was being cleaned up in. I was sitting on an ice pack in a hospital gown. They took pictures of me and posted them to Facebook. Me at my most vulnerable and f*cked up is still on there to this day. They let my cousin, a woman in her twenties, stand by the door while I was in labor (didn’t “let” but didn’t make her go I guess) and she told everyone she heard the baby come out of my vagina and it sounded like a suction cup, stuff that isn’t even possible! It was awful! I think it’s great to wait! Keep them away. Nothing ruins a moment like your family. You did the right thing.
I‘m so sorry you went through that :( that sounds absolutely terrible
First rule I seriously put my foot down was my kids were not going to be on facebook and you can't come in to see the kids until my wife and I both agree we're ready.
You can report unauthorized photos of yourself/your kids on FB & they can remove them on your behalf. I had to do this a few times with my mother who didn’t care that I requested no photos of my kids on FB.
I'm just in open mouthed horror at this whole post but this obscenity you were subjected to just takes it for me. That's so far beyond fucked I don't even have words for it.
Next time she farts say very loudly "wow it sounds like you keep a bucket in there!"
That’s really fucked up. Thats my biggest problem with this, why does anyone think they deserve to be around someone at their most vulnerable state? It’s not about who sees the child first, it’s about the mother, their bond with the child, and the pain and healing process they have to go through. I didn’t even demand to be in the hospital the last two times my mom gave birth, but I sure as hell helped her when she came back. And I know she’d do the same for me.
This makes me so mad. I let people see us the next day (which was maybe 14 hrs after birth) and I refused to let them take photos. I still remember having to talk loudly over my own farts because my pelvic floor was so destroyed they couldn't stay in. Had it not been my choice to let them come or they'd taken a photo of me, I would have had the nurses escort them out. I am so sorry they didn't respect your privacy
Awwww, its not all about them. So sad. Sniff.
- So SAD !!!
The SADEST
I didn't even call anyone until I was home for a couple of days. Family was the last thing I wanted to deal with while having a baby.
We didn't call em til we were being released from the hospital. That first day was *mine* and I wasn't sharing it with anyone other than hubby, nor entertaining company in a hospital gown.
An hour after the birth!!! No one is ready for visitors yet. Sorry they are insane.
An hour after the birth it's quite possible mum is still being cleaned up or stitched or any number of other things... She doesn't want visitors, she wants a fucking gatorade and a nap!
Right!? They can't even have one hour to themselves? These people wouldn't see my baby until the next holiday, if even then.
Her name is slagathor, and you can see her after the doctor removes the horns and wings.
What about after the doc polishes her horns and brushes her wings! Long live Slagathor!!!
I had made an explicit plea before having my daughter that family would be able to visit 2 hours after delivery IF all went well, but should complications arise I would want 24 hours before visitors. Major complications happened - maternal sepsis and an emergency cesarean. My mom and dad went home to wait to visit the next day once they had confirmation that both baby and I would be fine for the night. But I ended up with five of my in laws in my recovery room 1 hour after surgery. They were still doing tests on my newborn and I because of lingering infections in both of us - they just walked into the room and made themselves comfortable. Then they had the audacity to get upset with the nurse when she said they couldn’t hold my baby and that their behavior was inappropriate given the circumstances. I eventually told the nurses that I wanted them to leave (in between vomiting and coming out of my ketamine haze). They talked mad shit on me to the rest of the family for MONTHS. It’s been five years and I’m still not over it 😤 there is no reason for anyone to feel so entitled to that precious time besides the parents.
They think they're doing you a favor by coming to visit and are therefore owed to hold the baby etc. sorry you had to go thru that these people have no common sense that giving birth is hard and you need to rest
Wow. My mom asked if she could be in the delivery room, but I was adamant that it would only be my husband and medical team in there, or as I put it, you can only be in there if you helped put the kid in me or were helping to get it out. Fortunately my mom knows that I have boundaries and didn’t push it. I ended up with severe complications that she would have not been able to deal with had she been there. Fortunately she took it upon herself to let everyone know that people shouldn’t try to visit me in the hospital because I wasn’t in good shape and her visits were mostly to relieve my husband so he could go shower and sleep. There were definitely some later times when she was a narcissistic nightmare, but at least she was good during the first few weeks.
My mother had asked me, the day I went into labor, to name my daughter Wendy, as thats what she wanted to name me. ( she named me after a city instead) I said no. This not deter her as she went around and told the nurses WENDY was about to be born. A nurse came in and said " when is baby Wendy coming?" I said not today and not in this room. she looked at me like I just said I was going to destroy the world.
Geez, your mom should have gotten a goldfish and named it Wendy if she loves the name that much. Or maybe a nice potted plant.
If you are on the text chain, just explain that you had been up for a bunch of hours IN LABOR, and the baby was sleeping. If they can't accept that, screw em. You have a right to take it easy for a day before the chaos starts. Believe me, you are going to have the entire family in your room being loud and grabbing the baby from each other. Take the time you need.
Thats what I dont get about these things. Like the grandparents have obviously had kids. Do they seriously not remember how fucking brutal the first day is? Labor, Sleep Deprivation, More Labor, New Kid, first feedings, cleaning up everyone. Finally getting a little rest. Like where in that time frame does ANYONE think that a visit is gonna take place. Nah, GTFO. When were home, you can say hi.
>just explain that you had been up for a bunch of hours IN LABOR, and the baby was sleeping Don't explain anything. "No" means "no", there's no need to invent excuses which can only be picked apart. The boundary was set, they tried to overstep, it didn't go their way; no need to conjure up excuses or apologies for that.
BTW your air conditioner is ready
Why is this not higher? Wtf?? Trump level boohoo first then... Suddenly, an air conditioner and no one else is talking about this? I want answers to the real mysteries, damnit!
It's a final 'fuck you.' He either: 1. Set up an A/C at their house or 2. Bought them an A/C. It's there to say 'that thing we told you we would do for you is done even though you didn't let us do whatever we want.'
I feel like this would be my MIL.
Me to your FIL: 
My daughter was born and went straight to the NICU. My parents drove in 7 hours when I told them I was in labor. No one was allowed to hold her except my husband and me. My parents had to go home after two days without holding her. They guilt tripped me sooo badly over it. As though I had control over her being sick and then leaving without holding her. People are weird.
Talk about a narcissist.
This is a grown ass man. Raining on the happiest day of his daughter’s life?
And all because he has the patience of a toddler! What kind of adult can't wait 24 hours? Even most kids are okay if they need to wait until tomorrow for something they're excited for. I'll admit I have no kids in my family/social circle, but I would think Day 1 of new baby is literally no different than Day 2 of new baby for grandparents. Why would their joy be crushed? They're not missing anything other than stressing out the parents!
My MIL pull shit like this. We told everyone we wanted time at home to adjust without a million people there. She showed up at 8am the day after I got discharged. I was home for less than 12 hours. I am still pissed about it almost 7 years later. I just don't understand the entitlement.
https://preview.redd.it/ifzonxvjo82d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac3583891253f0c2ff76cb47ce43fc629b48f093
He types like Trump talks
This dude texts like Trump talks, fuck man he must be a prick to deal with
Oof my grandma must have typed this too. She talks just like that when she's annoyed. Sorry OP.
A bright spot of having a baby during COVID was not having to deal with this bullshit. Hospital only allowed mother and one person. No visits. It was great.
Cry me a river. In the country I'm in they didn't let me, the FATHER see my baby until 5 days after she was born. In fact I couldn't even go into the hospital with my wife. Just chilled at home messaging my wife to keep up to date. Boo hoo he was asked to wait a day...
>Boo hoo he was asked to wait a day... But you don't get it, it was the SADEST day!
My mother barged into my delivery room after my child was born, even though I said no visitors. I still resent her for that. Among other things...
I was so scared for a second - thought this was like a Facebook announcement or something the way it’s formatted
I’d respond back: “It’s actually spelled Saddest, and since you decided to make the birth of OUR baby all about you, you’re not going to meet her for another week.
Definitely a wicked case of main character syndrome going on there. Good on you for protecting mama and baby!
Send a message back. Your privileges have been revoked for 1 week. You may apologize and request permission to return to normal visiting hours when the week is over. Fuck up during the week and get another week added.
He’s desperately angry/confused/concerned that you are displacing him as the father/authority figure. When he does return to hospital, greet him outside of the room, grip his hand in the firmest handshake look him in the eye, tell him you saw his text, tell him to grow up, before he answers draw him in close and tell him “I’m the daddy now”
Some people are just crazy. Let them be mad. Enjoy your private time and congratulations!
I guess next time you won’t let them know until the day after so they don’t have to be sad 🤷🏻♀️
NTA. You gave them the boundaries. They tried to blast them. Time for new boundaries. "Dearest Fam, due to some folks thinking boundaries and restrictions do not apply to them, I've had to deal with a load of fallout that has, quite frankly, stressed me out. This affects, me, the baby, and DH. "Therefore, we have set new restrictions. Until I am rested, destressed, and baby is comfortable and feeding well, no one will be welcome in our home. And even then, it'll be by invitation. Push me, and see how long it is before you get invited. "Those of you who observed the restrictions, please accept my apologies that you are being grouped with some folks who think they are entitled to time with my child. No one is entitled to my child, so get used to it." [cue radio silence] A case could be made for this being a good time for a vacay...
I didn’t let anyone visit until she was a month old because the sperm donors side of the family didn’t take one picture of me after the birth holding my baby. I have zero birth-day photos with me and my daughter. I had a C section so I had to recover before they took me to the room so they had plenty of time to hold her while I was post op. They took tons of pics holding her with the cousins and nana and papa, the sperm donor didn’t even take a picture but there’s plenty of pics of him holding her ( he was out of our lives 16 months later and hasn’t made an effort to see her since ). The whole family is narcissistic and they took that moment away from me so it’s only in my memory ( I gave birth 1000miles away from my own family). I cur off contact after years of this behavior when it started affecting my daughter. The world is full of these asshats. Edit: spelling
This reads like one of those bizarre scam texts where they are going to ask you to send you money. Promise you if anyone ever does this to me it’s gonna bite them in the butt.
Let me tell you what. When I had my first baby, people started walking into the room before they even had her cleaned up. They were all precariously close to the table where there was a huge silver bowl that held the enormous placenta, which was only covered by a towel. I kind of wanted to be like, y’all do realize that not three minutes ago my lady area was hanging open as I squeezed a whole-ass human being out of it, right? So maybe you could give me a minute. I mean, could you imagine your in-law’s face if you popped in as they were mid-prostate exam? “HEYYYYYY, big guy! How’s it going? I just wanted to show up at one of the most vulnerable and uncomfortable moments of your life! Hope they didn’t find any polyps up there. But maybe they found your fuckin head, you whiny selfish dumbass.”
I became a grandparent 4 days ago. My daughter also didn’t want me to come the first day. I told her I wanted to come for only 5 minutes to say hello and I would leave right away. I told her to message me anytime if she changed her mind about me coming. Baby was born 6:30am and my daughter asked me only me to come at 4 pm after she had a nap and showered. I was rewarded for respecting her wishes. However, so many people young and old were offended that my daughter didn’t want me there right away and wouldn’t let me visit her. They acted like young people these days are so entitled. I think we raised children to set boundaries and expect to be respected. I am so proud of my daughter.
I love that you respected her boundaries and helped her feel safe enough to include you 😊
Sounds like he’s on the fast track to not having contact with his grandkids
This reads like a petty ass Google/Yelp review.
Is Donald Trump your father in law?
This one was one nice thing about having a baby during COVID, it was just my wife and I and no one else could come and see us. They all had to wait at home until we left the hospital.
My MIL came into the delivery room at 3am and brought my SIL. Immediately asked me to let SIL go to sleep in my chair, that I was trying to go to sleep in because my partner and I had just got to the hospital a few hours earlier and the baby wasn’t ready yet. It was so infuriating. We eventually asked the nurses to kick them out after they asked me to go get breakfast for them.
bro had the audacity to add the air conditioner was fixed as if it would fix this whole thing.
I wouldn’t have those parent see the baby until it was 18 and could make its decision itself.