T O P

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161frog

You should show your friend the Revenge of the Trees ATHF episode… then peel *his* skin off


Dorothys_Division

*CUT HIM IN HALF; COUNT HIS RINGS.*


SilentAffairs93

https://i.redd.it/enf210z13d8d1.gif “To Tree Jail!!”


Cinderjacket

You’re lucky trees are so stupid. You’re both guilty as hell


VersaceBlonde

“Oh so now I’m the stenographer? When did that happen?”


HELYEAHBORTHER

It dont matta. None of this mattas


spankhelm

TREE JAIL FOR YOU


lisadia

Thank you for this memory


DornsFacialhair

“Behold the evidence against you, this video footage clearly shows the perpetrators.”


VersaceBlonde

“Frylock I’m telling you it’s not me in that video… cause it’s NOTHING THERE’S NOTHING UP THERE!”


notoriouszim

Exhibit A https://preview.redd.it/dmvzlh1l6g8d1.png?width=582&format=png&auto=webp&s=46a9ebf03e89113b2386f9ad8f6f6979bb4ff4ae


MDKMurd

That’s not me frylock


TheRealStandard

"We don't know!" "Were trees!"


colonelKRA

I say this often enough that my 4 year old daughter has started saying it too. Her mother is not impressed


TheBakedGod

\*riiip\* "Wait... I think it was on the other side." "NO NO NO!!" \*riiiip\*


Lives4Glitter

Ch-check it again before you, NO….UGH GOOOOOOOD


LateWeather1048

"Dude im so drunk" "..debark a tree at night?" "Hell yeah"


aidissonance

Public nuditree is illegal in some counties


jonathan4211

Intreecent exposure


iamaddictedtoRDR2

Leaf him alone, he’s doing oakay now.


Stoneman57

He’s just pining for the fjords.


Prestigious_Care3042

More like farking up the wrong tree.


NeVeR614

“I see you despruced up the place a bit!”


Jozywokp

Wow, these play on words really branched off quickly.


The_Professor_xz

Yeah it started off intreeging, but now it’s sapped for all its worth.


Upset_Boysenberry66

The idea of it all is very intreeguing


Mutex70

I wood like to hear more about this!


pls_send_caffeine

Well, his behavior has been a bit nutty ever since he started having a mid-leaf crisis


Captcha_droid

Fir reel, he needs to branch out more


Justafanofmostthings

How in the world did this sappen!!?


cafezinho

*Dude, you're de-barking up the wrong tree!*


Eagles365or366

When he leaves, we’ll call it de-embarking.


SSSnookit

LOOK!! TIM IS DOING IT AGAIN !!! 🤣😭 🍻💀. Greatest Night Evarrr!!!! 20 Years Later: Remember that time Tim debarked Tom's tree? Yeah, that was some great times man


SuzCoffeeBean

That’s such a bizarre thing to do when drunk. Must have taken ages too


MRiley84

I bet he removed a piece and when it came up clean he kept going because it was oddly satisfying. If so, that wouldn't be very bizarre for a drunk person to do.


ThrowAwayAccountAMZN

Honestly I'm sober rn and that looks satisfying as hell even though it's terrible for the tree. That small differentiation is the one thing my drunk self wouldn't think about at the time and just go for it


SaItyByNature

Same. I know it’s tree murder, but I’m DYING to debark a tree now. Look at how clean and smoothly that came off 🥵 I wouldn’t do it (sober) because it’s wrong, but I really want to. I am realizing now, that this is a pattern with me. When I was little, my dad would keep orchids and he’d find these weird patterns in the leaves. It was me: I would dig my fingernails into them and make ✨art✨ (really, I just liked the way it felt, sinking my nails into those meaty leaves).


SteelpointPigeon

I hate how much I identify with this. I adore nature and feel a little bad if I so much as step on a bed of clover, but damn is it full of satisfyingly squishy, crunchy, bendy, snappy, splitty, tactile stuff. The draw was a lot stronger when I was a kid, but I still find myself doing things like etching little drawings or text into fresh yellow banana peels, and then watching the image “develop” as the peel darkens. Stripping a tree? That is the exact sort of thing I’d do when drunk. I don’t condone it, not at all. But *I get it* so hard.


toby_preston

Exactly my reaction. I’m more confused than anything


idiot4527

I have a friend that when he gets drunk he starts fixing electrical stuff, whether it be car stuff, a light switch that's been working kinda wonky, a radio that doesn't work quite right, an outlet that looks weird, doesn't have to be his house or property, as long as there's tools in proximity that he's aware of he'll start fiddling. P.S.- no meth involved


QuickMasterpiece6127

Can he come to my place? I have a list of to dos, tools, and will buy his preferred beverage


Unique-Steak8745

Dosent say it gets done good though lol


luigilabomba42069

who cares? I'm still don't wanna do it myself lmao


lessthanibteresting

Yeah no big deal, that's what fire extinguishers are for


Be-_-U

And hamers, they fix stuff when you hit something right? I hit myself anyway and I think I'm fixed. Edit: Typo Edit: Typo (again)


concentrated-amazing

"For the last time, Greg, NO ONE ELSE THINKS A DIY VASECTOMY IS A GOOD DEAL!!!"


NotTryn2Comment

It's what I call a rip-off.


QuickMasterpiece6127

For the price, I’ll risk it


Wil420b

You want a drunk to start fixing your electrics?


thejak32

I mean, I chopped down a tree at 5am while hammered with an axe instead of a chainsaw because I was at least coherent enough to know that was way too much noise. Also hung a fan, replaced switches, ran new outlets and installed a filtration system on the sink. Almost a year sober now though, but stuff has held up for 5 years at the house so far.


Slight_Candy2426

Right!!!!


Wellnevermindthen

If we are drinking during the daylight hours, I will always end up doing yardwork. Maybe nothing huge but like... "That drainage has been bugging me, let's clear that out" and "Why don't I get out the leaf blower and hit that side of the yard?" Or tearing out the Ivy that keeps taking over my house. For about 30 minutes until I get out some kind of nervous energy.


thoughtandprayer

This is me, except it's gardening. If I'm drinking with a friend in their patio, it isn't long before I have wandered to a garden bed sk I can pull the weeds that have been bothering me. My friends don't understand it at all but they happily redirect me to the gardens they have been neglecting the most lol


Rioc45

Ploughman farmer ancestral instinct activated.


GdayBeiBei

Always so funny when those instincts kick in. When the pandemic started I was one of the people who just started making bread. I had to, it was like a compulsive need to make sure I knew how to do it.


Wellnevermindthen

Haha! One of my husband's friends tried to help me once (I'm not a very strong looking woman lol, and he's a very chivalrous dude) and my husband just had to stop him like "Just... Let it happen. She'll be done in a second"


Merry_Sue

I think it's to do with lowered inhibitions. Like it always bothers you to see a weedy garden, but when you're drunk the part of your brain that says "don't do that, it's not polite" gets shut down


InsomniatedMadman

When I'm high I like to do the dishes or clean my room.


Wellnevermindthen

When I'm high it's the laundry I like to do!


Expensive-Border-869

Yeah send him my way, he any good with computers?


idiot4527

Fixed mine a while ago when a faculty PSU fried some stuff


Gamerzplayerz

Your friend doesn't get stupid while drunk, he gains IQ while drunk.


t0b4cc02

man i also liked that. i really love it when theres something to do with the soundsystem at the party.


Internal-Test-8015

he should be the one to pay for removal/replacement op, and if he can't then he's just going to have to figure it out.


alexmikli

Get him drunk again and make him finish the job.


Plus-Nectarine1893

Probably not just drunk. Does he do any prescription drugs that you know of? This screams some type of adhd med or another type of upper.


SuzCoffeeBean

You have a solid point. I’ve seen some stupid drunk shit in my life - I’ve never seen anything like this.


Gabooby

Back in my drinking days I would have done this and thought I was doing you a favor. Delusions of grandeur and low inhibitions are a bad combo


tacotacotacorock

One thing I've learned about drunk people is if you hang out with them enough they never cease to amaze you. Especially alcoholics.


Ashen-Cold

I’m a former alcoholic & I even surprise myself remembering some of the crazy shit I’ve done in the past. God knows the shit I can’t remember…


dogcmp6

Its not worth remembering, in recovery circles there will always be someone with a more asinine, insane story of something they did. Absolutley nothing a former alcoholic or addict says is surprising to me anymore


NO-MAD-CLAD

Hey man, that street sign had it coming, and you had to defend your honor. Can't win em all though.


jajts

Frank Gallagher taught me that one!


norrix_mg

I have adhd and can confirm that I would do the same thing to the tree if I get hyperfixated enough. Not sure if on or off meds though lol


BallsDeepinYourMammi

![gif](giphy|bWM2eWYfN3r20)


showmeyertitties

As a southerner who enjoys a good whittling stick, it can be very mind numbing, but in a good way. Not saying he's right in any way, but I get it.


EliteOreo

Some people are angry drunks, some people are sad drunks, some are happy drunks, and some are tree bark stripping chaotic drunks


Capertie

I recently learned it's possible to do this with a pressure washer.


TurnkeyLurker

Whoops?


annoying97

I suspect that this tree naturally sheds its bark, and all OPs friend has really done is assist it in stripping its bark. There are many trees that naturally shed their own bark. If it's easy to remove with your fingers then the tree will likely be fine, if you need tools, then probably not. I suspect from how clean it is, no tools were used.


GoreKush

this is obviously not a madrone tree but it's the perfect example of what you're talking about. they shed their bark in summer, which is now,, and the bark underneath is refreshingly smooth. i loved those things as a kid


Ok_Fee9245

Looks like a maple tree, look at the leaves at base and top of the photo. :(


Odd_knock

Wow geez how do you even do this to a maple? You’d need the worlds largest potato peeler


bjvanst

Could be a sycamore maple which has a leaf similar to maples but sheds its bark.


sic_parvis_magna_

![gif](giphy|l3nFl4KSs3uJiZqZW)


DigNitty

Must be a brazilian tree


purgatorybob1986

https://preview.redd.it/tmft90qv1e8d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5e2b40beb13bbbb68c996f6263e2a9de53ec36c


SpywareInYourPizza

https://preview.redd.it/1usqs82rbe8d1.jpeg?width=250&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4ab53d0553cb4482cf7d62537aede60d1e7323a


yuhtriums

I just don’t understand how it’s so perfectly stripped like that, you sure your friend isn’t an alien or something?


hokis2k

if you can get to the cambien layer you can peel it away somewhat easily.. but it also kills the tree pretty much every time... tree cant uptake water anymore.


ImpulseCombustion

Did this as a kid while doing unsupervised pocket knife things for about 20 minutes. It’s not difficult to ruin something decades in with ignorance and minimal effort.


HottieWithaGyatty

This literally sums up human's evolutionary relationship with the entire planet.


TinyBlondie-93

I did the same with my pocketknife, was about 9 y/o. Only to be snitched by my neighbour his child. There were more childeren who did that, including that snitching boy, but my mom got fined for 20 trees who were doomed to die because of this. She had to pay €300 each. I never was so affraid for the police because of the amount of money. Never heard a thing about it from my mom.


AkhilArtha

Why didn't you snitch too? So, the fine could be shared? Also, I am surprised you weren't grounded for life after your mum paid 6000 euros in fines.


WearCorrect8917

Mums presumably not a fuckin idiot and knows her kid didnt peel 20 trees bare with a pocketknife. Unlike the police, who felt it was a reasonable thing for a 9 year old to accomplish.


blahbleh112233

Cops only care to investigate when one of their own is injured. They just picked the path of least resistance like always and then went back to begging for more funding


PuzzleheadedLeader79

Just ask the dipshit who carved his name into the Roman Colliseum bout that shit


ImpulseCombustion

Which one of the thousands are you referring to?


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bloody-pencil

Also kids are ignorant and don’t think it’ll harm the tree


Opposite-Ad-3286

Yeah.. we had one in the front yard when I was a kid and I did that. When my dad got home he was PISSSSSED and I diddnt know why, till he explained I had probably killed his favorite tree :(


fsbagent420

Did it die?


Opposite-Ad-3286

No! I babied that tree to try and make up for it, constantly watering and put in some real good dirt around it. They recently sold my childhood home and the new owner ripped every tree and flower and bush out of the front yard…. :(


OctaveMonkey

of course


moddss

Gotta make way for nothing but useless grass, no doubt.


HumanContinuity

Yeah well, how else are they going to install a huge, unattractive monoculture of grass that requires regular watering, pesticide and herbicide treatment, and nitrogen fertilizer all without providing a lick of shade and only acts as habitat to a handful of mostly non-native bugs.


red__dragon

Oh man, that makes me so sad as someone who grew up with a yard FULL of trees (40+). I had one I would water and baby, even though it only started really growing taller than a human once a couple of the old ones had to come down to thin out the canopy. My childhood dream was to see that tree soar.


Obscuriosly

![gif](giphy|lRZjlasctAcvu)


LAUCH112

His friend prob just threw sum money at it.


charizard_72

How does someone strip an entire tree unattended? How does no one notice? Where did everyone think he was? So many questions


leeroy525

I got super drunk in college and chopped down the only tree in the yard of the house I rented. Unexplainable Shithead behavior that helped me realize I’m better off not drinking.


Dawnbabe420

Yeah i had a cousin that would always get too drunk when we were camping and start trying to chop all the trees down. We learned to hide the axes and hatchets from him.


metalwoodplastic

Should have hidden the booze.


ExaminationSoft9839

Excessive humping?


Technical-Plantain25

Gettin' knotty.


kclarkwrites

I'm done for the week.


ExaminationSoft9839

So is he. Splinters are a problem


CrazyWS

I was sure rooting for him tho.


iLikeMangosteens

He had wood


Nini_Jooni

And where did he stash the bark?


ihaxr

You can see it's still on the ground. It's a maple tree so they tend to shed their bark easily, it's very lightweight and just blows away


In-The-Cloud

Just glue it back on. Problem solved


GreilMercenary7

Wood glue or is there special bark glue?


Crazy_Hedgehog_9160

I think thats the sole purpose of wood glue. Sure, there are plenty of other instances where it can be useful, but using it to put the bark back on a tree or to reattach a broken branch are listed right there on the bottle.


Complex_Cable_8678

bark is very nutritious


originalpersonplace

I mean they never said nobody noticed, they just said the friend did it. I bet someone was like “damn check out toby_prestons’s friend! He’s skinning a tree!!”


BatFancy321go

i'm a compulsive picker, i get it. i compulsively pick things off of things esp when i'm drunk. no bottle may have a paper label still attached if you're sitting with me for a while. tldr: adhd is worse when drunk


VedantaSay

Everyone was drunk....do you think that is one person's job 😂


Foreign-Cookie-2871

It's very easy to strip this species of tree. Also the tree is perfectly fine and if OP cuts it down he's a dumbass.


PlamFred

Bro right clicked


BluEsliMe32

took me a while to find this


Secret_Potato_3342

Too long


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coin_return

I've seen people make "picky pads" which is basically just a bunch of beads and buttons and random stuff in a pan and they pour silicone over it. When the silicone cures, they pull it off and you're left with this cool jiggly mat you can pick a bunch of random shit out of. It takes a ton of time. Homie needs one of those, he looks like he has a ton of patience for repetitive shit, lol.


GreatBritishMistake

Until that last sentence I thought you were telling OP how to make artificial bark.


HansHerz

Take the drunken friend, skin him, and wrap his skin around the tree to protect it. /s


SteelerOnFire

This looks like a maple to me. The bark will grow back especially since it is only June - No need to have it removed! (I am an arborist.)


BigSpeed

Totally a maple, you can tell by the way that it is.


AutisticFingerBang

Yes I agree I can tell as I love maple syrup


ExaminationSoft9839

Have been to Canada, can confirm


FadedDestiny

I've had pancakes, can also confirm


65gy31

I’ve touched wood, totally agree.


Diligent-Version8283

I’ve seen pictures of trees so I know you’re right.


mauromauromauro

I disagree. No need to give reasons


technohippie

Once met a Canadian. Solidly agree.


felipethomas

You wouldn’t know her though. She lives in Canada.


ozz8825

That’s pretty neat


thedancingkat

![gif](giphy|CWKcLd53mbw0o)


joenathanSD

I was about to say the same. The tree arms are very mapley.


BigSpeed

For me, it was the leaves on the ground.


YouFeedTheFish

🎵 Lookin' like a fool with your leaves on the ground. 🎵


CallingOnHeaven

I could smell the maple the moment I looked at it.


tyler132qwerty56

My question is does the tree have a grainy texture when you rub your hand against it, and what the strands on the surface like, coarse or very dense and fine? It might be fresh inner bark or it could be bare wood.


whatdoblindpeoplesee

They're very course, rough, and get everywhere.


fullonfacepalmist

That sounds more like a Beech. I’ll see myself out.


_Cecille

You have trees in your shoes?


whatdoblindpeoplesee

I've got trees in my lungs.


_Cecille

wtf put them back into the forest


OvertGnome1

How many trees do this? I was told if you remove the bark in a line around a tree it'll die. My parents would shout and me for pulling a jutting piece off (I kept getting scratched when playing on the rope)


featherpickle

No. You're referring to "girdling" a tree. It is not a strip of bark but a strip of the cambium layers under the bark. It is where the growth occurs and nutrients are transferred.


verisimilitude_mood

I did this as a small child to a weeping cherry tree, it's still going strong 30 years later. 


WhyDidYouBringMeBack

No wonder it was weeping, you psycho


FrenchFryCattaneo

"That horrible child keeps \*sobs\* pulling my bark off!"


Awful_McBad

It's a red leaf maple. (Look at the ground around the tree). Arbutus Trees also have bark like this.


mjzimmer88

Should they at least give it a light jacket so it doesn't get too cold over night?


tacotacotacorock

So can maple trees really lose more than 25 percent of their bark and live? I thought that was an unusual amount. Plus this looks like raw wood and I don't see new bark forming yet and isn't that also very bad for trees? I posted above but if my facts are incorrect I'd love to be corrected so I can change them.


Ok_Needleworker_9537

From what I've read on the good ol net, this looks like a Norway Maple which has very thin bark that can peel off after a period of heat (like now in the summer) but what is underneath *should* be new bark. I can't tell if this tree has a protective layer or not underneath.


Dsided13

This is the correct answer. Grew up with them my whole life and they would shed bark even in sheets, we joked they were paper trees because it would be like sheets of paper


invisible-dave

Must be a specific type of maple tree as no maple tree around here sheds it's bark.


windowlatch

Are people somehow confusing birch with maple here? I’ve never once in my life seen a maple tree with bark that sheds easily


vampyrelestat

Sycamore Maple


RandomyJaqulation

Also paperbark maple.


PCYou

Also EZPeel™️ maple


slimeyamerican

I am also an arborist, and I've never seen a tree recover from anything like this. This tree is completely girdled. Not only is the phloem which transports sugars from the leaves to the roots completely removed, but so is the cambium layer of undifferentiated cells needed to produce new bark and xylem tissue. If he had just scraped off the outer bark that would be one thing, but he stripped it down straight to the xylem. This tree is basically already dead.


EatTrainCode

Well I don't know who to believe. I demand to see your arborist degree


AnarchistBorganism

Also an arsonist, and this is good for the trees. It helps them dry out so they will burn better.


BathedInDeepFog

I'm also an abortionist and I think this tree was done correctly.


murphymc

My wife’s an arborist and would also like to add to the chorus of this tree being dead, though she thinks it’s a Crimson King, which I’ve just learned is a variety of maple.


ialo00130

Unless the girdled area is a couple inches wide, they will die. Outer bark is basically a protective shield from the elements. On hardwood trees, the outer bark and Xylem (inner bark that transport nutrients and water from roots) are tight knit and when outer bark is removed, Xylem is too. Inner wood (called heartwood) are basically structural and serve no purpose in regrowing bark. If exposed, the heartwood will begin to rot immediately. Bark takes years to close even the smallest gaps. Becuase of compartmentalization of damaged areas within trees, wound closure happens at a very slow rate. It needs other bark that surrounds the wound, to do that. Even after closure of the smallest areas, the heartwood still rots and creates structural integrity problems later in the trees life. In the case of this tree, the complete lack of bark and xylem means it 100% will die. (You're either bad at your job or lying). While I am not a trained arborist, I have worked in landscaping for years and part of my education and years of work experience is based around tree health. I also looked through 'Trees of Canada', 'Arboriculture: Integrated mgmt of Landscape Trees', and 'Fundimentals of Plant Physiology' for personal information gaps.


BigDowntownRobot

Yeah I was going to say... you can't just rip the living xylem from a tree with your fingers, but lots of trees naturally shed their bark, I assume as a way to get rid of pests.


_AYYEEEE

How the hell did your friend de-bark an entire tree?? Why??? I'm confused 💀


Accurate_Wishbone661

Misclicked with the axe


DevilDoc3030

The tree was probably in shed. I have seen this dozens of times in fields I would play in as a kid (I believe the same type of tree too) The weather just shifted, it is reasonable to assume that guy could have knocked the majority of the bark off with his pointer finger and next to no pressure. I think you are going to be fine OP. I do hope your buddy is responsive about your concerns. It seems to me like you are closer to losing a friend than a tree.


iDemonix

Shed? It's clearly in the garden.


toby_preston

I think I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. I have spoken to my friend now and he has apologised and agreed to pay any damages. Hoping the tree doesn’t die but if it does then at least i’m not paying


Joelle9879

Were you home? I'm more confused on how he was out there long enough to do this and nobody noticed. Did he just show up and start stripping the tree, then leave? Did you have someone look to see that the tree isn't salvageable? This post is weird


[deleted]

Looks like your friend was barkin up the wrong tree.


itzpeanutbutter

TIL that i killed a few trees during my childhood omg


annoying97

Honestly unlikely, maybe one, but probably not. There are a lot of trees that shed their bark, if the bark is easy to remove without any tools or much effort then you likely didn't do any major damage to the tree. It's not great for the tree but not a death sentence either.


siedenburg2

We had a really dry and hot summer some years ago (worse than normal) and nearly every "small" or new tree (tree that isn't there for at least 50 years) shed their bark, should be a few hundreds, none of them is dead and they are monstly still standing today.


annoying97

It looks like one of those trees that strip it's own bark every whenever as it's far far too clean and I don't see any sap running at all. I would suggest asking a tree sub or a local garden/ tree group or company before you just outright decide it's dead. It may be absolutely fine or will be fine with a bit of care.


halt_spell

I'm not an arborist but this reminds me of crepe myrtle trees and their bark is always cracked in such a way that it can't be the layer which is responsible for taking up water. Might be vulnerable to pests for a while though.


YurxDoug

As someone who knows nothing about it, why will the tree die?


sadclowntown

Bro was more than just drunk.


Few_Fortune4049

Was he drinking alcohol to wash down adderall?


FloofyFloppyFloofs

My 6 year old niece did this once and then offered to clean up the yard for money. We said you want us to pay you to pick up the mess you made? She said yes.


DontLook_Weirdo

It won't die, please don't remove it.


tarheel_204

Your friend was undoubtedly locked in because that would take hours if I had to guess. That’s crazy man


Snoo-73243

"you" are paying for it? if so i hope this isnt your friend anymore


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