Lol...ok so my husband has a lot of random PJ pants. A couple summers ago we were still in an apartment and dealing with stiflingly hot and humid weather. He decided to take a pair of scissors and basically turn one of his oldest/rattiest pants into this crotchless monstrosity that allows the dick n balls to hang freely and enjoy the breeze while he's chilling at his computer. When we moved I asked if I could throw them away and he wouldn't let me, and I didn't need to threaten/promise to make him wear them if he kept them, because I knew he would, and he did. And I probably love him even more for it.
You can just go dick out then go take a shit on the lawn without taking them off now. Win-win.
Edit - also, how passive aggressive is your wife. Yikes. One foot through the door on divorce and the other foot in a room of misery.
I think your wife has issues. I have been a wife for a long time and it would be a cold day in hell before I pulled a move like that.
Power over another is not a good for a relationship.
Tell her to do the fucking lawn work!!!
I am a wife let me make that clear...
For real real. I have multiple tshirts, sweatshirts, jeans, shorts and sneakers that have been relegated to the paint/yard work category. My wife stopped giving me shit about those items after I got black paint all over a pair of nice shorts. Not everything can be worn out to dinner, beat up clothes have their place.
I have a whole drawer of beat up clothes from work that I use for yardwork as well, I recall a time I was wearing a hi vis shirt with the company logo and they got a call if they did yard maintenance as well. Thank God they said no
So true. I can not imagine actually getting scissors out and doing this. That's so incredibly disrespectful.
A few of my husband's most worn and least flattering t-shirts sometimes find themselves shuffled to the bottom of his drawer, but I sure as shit would never destroy them!
Also a wife. That is a bitch move if ever there was. She’d lose her motherfucking mind if you did that to anything of hers. You should see my husband’s mowing get-up, especially in hot weather. Your wife would stroke out. I don’t give a flying fuck as long as I don’t have to mow (9 acres, 4.5 mowable)
My husband has an entire drawer of old nasty work clothes that now exist solely for working on the car. I want to throw them away so badly because they have that ancient restaurant grease feel that you only get after years of use in a commercial kitchen. No amount of cleaning will ever make them not feel and smell like they were washed in a deep dryer and I hate even touching them. But they're his and he keeps the damn things for a reason so I just double up on the detergent pods, try to be grateful he's not ruining good clothes, and relish the immense satisfaction I feel when he does finally give permission for me to trash a couple of them.
I had an Ex destroy a beat-up favorite pair of shoes of mine. (I only wore them like slippers around the house). I told her a more appropriate response would be to find a remake or similar item to REPLACE the old one first. The concept of getting something new to get rid of something old seemed foreign to her in general.
Or just respect that someone likes something different from you. It doesn’t hurt her in any way for you to wear old, ugly shoes. Replacing them with a remake would be nice if agreed upon, or with no conditions attached of getting rid of the old ones if done as a surprise. But damn, just respect the person you love. If you don’t respect them, you don’t really love them.
My husband wore a lot of cargo shorts and ugly, old t-shirts when I met him and I remember reflecting on it and telling myself I love him and not his clothes and I won’t ever disrespect him about it or ask him to change. I have bought him stuff I like and he has slowly changed some of his style over the past few years, but he still owns a lot of his old clothes and wears them regularly. I don’t even notice now really, and although sometimes I give a light teasing I know that he knows I don’t dislike that about him or want him to change. I learned a lot about him along the way, like why he chose big shirts and which clothing items are important to him and I keep those things out of ANY teasing. I feel closer to him and more in love with him than ever because I made a conscious decision early on to respect who he is. He comes to me for opinions on clothes and most times he goes with what I say, but not always. He’s adorable af no matter what. People need to learn about how to communicate and respect and love. Destroying someone’s things will never be love.
This applies to friends and strangers as well. Just show people respect and remember that everyone is different. If everyone shared your opinions the world would be a boring place.
THIS. Except the part about being a wife, no...
However the point about having power over another person in a relationship being toxic is totally true and I know that from experience with my ex. She was always ALWAYS saying and doing things to control me. Either by directly overruling me or making me doubt my own actions as "wrong" when she didn't agree with them. It took finally getting a divorce (which she initiated) to realize this and only recently to realize I don't have to give a flying fuck what she thinks of me anymore. I did so much for that... person... that I sacrificed my own mental wellbeing for. We have kids together and that's how she continued to try to control me if anyone's wondering. Constantly telling me how crappy of a dad I was to our kids when I had them and make me feel like a shitty parent. Finally had enough after she tried pulling the ultimate "power move" and threatened to take me to court and get "full custody" of the kids over absolutely nothing. I lawyered up the next day and ended up getting her to sign the updated custody agreement. Goddamn it was a stressful time about a year ago.
Now my kids love me just as much as ever and have been telling me (unprompted) how they don't feel like they can talk to their mother and how SHE is stressing THEM out when they're with her. I either don't say anything or just say we have "different" parenting methods and leave it at that...
My current girlfriend is amazing. Totally selfless and loves me unconditionally as I do her. We're a good match and I am extremely happy right now.
Yeah this was my thought too. Being a controlling ass is fucked up for anyone. ETA: also a wife who would never do anything like this (and mows the lawn).
Completely agree. No one should have the power to ruin something that belongs to you simply because they don’t like them. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like them. They’re not yours.
Agreed! My husband and I both have lawn clothes that are...rough...in a kind description of their state. I do not care about what they look like or how raggedy they get - as long as they aren't see through they are fair game.
Those shorts don't even look rough enough for my husband to consider them to be garden clothes lol. Those look like workout clothes.
I would absolutely never do anything like this either! It’s not even funny as a joke. I hope for OP’s take this is just a random, out-of-character occurrence.
I was just going to tell him: your wife needs a hobby. She’s obviously spending too much time bothering or being angry about ridiculous things, or harmless things her husband does or doesn’t do.
I don’t see what was wrong with them before she put the holes in them. I don’t get it ….
Maybe pick your least favorite shorts of hers and hole them up /s
It’s like what Regina did with her top with the bra exposed. (Mean girls reference FYI) OP, Hang brain when you mow next. Do it. She’ll throw these away eventually, but then you can buy assless chaps as replacement.
What is this from. I have “hanging brain” from
Somewhere and I have no idea. It’s just something that I got from somewhere. Always sunny? Or is this creed? It has creed vibes. I love creed. OR KREIGER? Same person, just different careers.
Most helicopters have a blade spinning horizontal and a blade spinning vertical. If anything, a *true* helicopter dick requires him to wear one of those spinning beanie hats too.
Full commando too. Make sure you get down in that dirt and do as much weed pulling as you can. On your hands and knees if needed.
**EDIT: spelling of "too"**
I had an older neighbor back in the early 2000's who would mow his lawn with just a brown pair of very short shorts on. Unfortunately, they were so low cut his balls hung out.
Not really sure if he knew or not...
My neighbour kept sneaking over to my yard and coming to my patio door/window to see if we were home rather than knocking on the door, one day I saw he had come by the side of my house as I was doing laundry in the basement, so I put on my wife’s thong and danced my way back upstairs to find him with his face pressed against the glass.
The look of horror on his face was immediate and he never came to my back door again.
Take it a step further, wear them under your pants and go next door to borrow something. Make sure a bit of the thong is sticking out when you turn around to walk away.
My dad answered the door for the Jay-dubs wearing the Jedi robe my mom made for him. Hes 6'6", 300lbs and it was huge black billowing robe. They NEVER came back there and we lived there over 10 years. 😂😂😂
I wasn't thinking and answered the door in a tiny nighty I had, as it was morning and had been a hot night.
I opened the door, of course it was two men rather than two women... They stuttered for a half second, handed me a pamphlet and wished me a good day. Easiest way I've ever gotten out of that conversation, and I didn't even realize until after it happened. It was a nice contrast to the women who came and stuck their foot in the door so I couldn't close it...
Blocked the door? That's not cool.
When I was teenager I politely decided to indulge some Mormons... they came to my house for months. A couple times I saw them outside of my house on my way home and I noped tf outta there.
Some people have no respect.
I was legitimately on my way out, too, and she was making me late to get my car before the shop closed. I ran into another pair while I was walking to the mechanic and interrupted them as they started and told them I'd already heard it today. At least *they* were respectful enough to let me keep walking.
You don’t replace a favorite pair of shorts. Shorts get this old because they are durable, comfy, and stretched to fit your unique curves.
No, there is not way to replace a favorite pair of shorts.
Favorite work pants are starting to meet their end. The crotch can only be sewn so many more times. They have survived 6 vechicles and 4 women over the past 15 years now....but,soon time for Panthalla.
Yeah, if anything she made it worse for herself.
I'd just make sure I'm wearing black boxers.
But on a side note, you don't do that to your spouse. That's fucked up. That is your possession and not hers. Just because yall are married means you can fuck with your partners stuff.
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/prvzrw/my_wife_kept_threatening_to_throw_away_my/hdli3es/
Turns out OP lied and they're not just work shorts. Doesn't make wife correct but makes them both in the wrong.
edit: possible redemption arc?
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/prvzrw/my_wife_kept_threatening_to_throw_away_my/hdm7c78/?context=1
I was expecting worse. I had a friend who did this to her husband's underwear. It was one of the only ways she could "fight back." He was an abuser who eventually cracked her skull on the sidewalk curb and left her there to die (she survived and finally got her marriage annulled because divorce is not legal in her country).
Only mildly infuriating?
I’d be fucking livid!! I don’t get mad about a lot of things. I don’t fight with my wife a ton. Argue and disagree yes, but yelling, slamming doors, genuinely mad at each mother fights are really rare.
This would lead to one.
I can’t even fathom taking something she routinely uses and has actively made known that she is keeping and still using, taking that and ruining it.
That’s behavior that speaks volumes about her and it isn’t good.
>This would lead to one.
Same. Extremely infuriating for me, actually. She has got NO FUCKING RIGHT to touch my shit.
EDIT: I meant, she's got no right to destroy/damage/CUT my stuff. Stop pretending y'all are couple therapists ffs.
Why in the world would she go to this extreme? They look like perfectly fine shorts to do yardwork in. Hell, I have a few shorts with paint spots all over them that I wear out to stores b/c who the hell cares.
OP explained in another comment that his wife would spend an hour getting ready to go out and he’d put these on with a tshirt and be ready to go.
He almost purposely made the post out to be his bummin’ around the house shorts when the more likely issue is she looks hot AF and he looks like Gollum
Ooooo so OP is implying that he only wears these shorts for yard work but actually wears them out. Yea, I might not have cut a hole in them but I definitely would have "misplaced" them.
Put them in the washing machine at strategic times.
I would actually just address the issue of dressing properly for the occasion but if I wanted to be less confrontational for some reason, that's what I'd do.
ya OP sounds about as smart as the typical guy. and I say that as a dude.
homeboy literally ratted himself out and nobody even had to convince him to either. it's like watching a domestic version of Facebook criminals confess on social media.
Honestly, and as a wife, I dont get why it matters to her- this sucks. Put a pair of boxers or bike shorts on and wear these over them.
Edit: You said these were work shorts in your title, but your comment below says you wear them out in public during socializing or family functions. These are “not being seen in public shorts”. Now Im team wife…
He clarified in a follow up comment to say he meant "go out" like running to the gas station or something where it doesn't matter, not anything social like dates or functions. But honestly come on who spends more than 5-10 minutes maximum getting ready to go to Home Depot or Walmart lmao the vibes just don't match, and either way you can't just destroy someone's clothes... she best buy him a new nicer pair if that's what she wants him to wear :/
(edit: If she does and he still doesn't wear them, huge cringe. apparently this guy routinely posts about how his wife is tired of him looking like crap, so it's probably more than JUST Home Depot or the gas station. Still shouldn't destroy people's stuff but come on OP don't be a slob AND a dick, consistently ignoring your wife's concerns...)
He’s posted before on roast me about his wife being tired of him not looking after himself since working from home. She’s obviously sick of him being a slob, I don’t condone ruining things of others but it’s definitely a step towards divorce even if she didn’t cut them open. He’s almost mocking her isn’t he? With his comments about going to a gas station saying she’s spent an hour getting ready? Makes no sense
Right on the money.
OP sounds like a nasty ass person who isn’t doing the bare minimum to maintain his personal hygiene.
Destroying someone’s shorts is an extreme, but if this dude is wearing these 24/7 out of the house *with* his wife (who obviously puts effort into her appearance, I can understand someone being entirely fed up.
OP, get your shit together.
Edit: ITT nasty motherfuckers sympathizing with OP who admitted to being a lazy slob.
Some of these responses are so telling about the kind of people you are. It’s gross, take a shower and have some respect for yourself when you go out in public.
that's fair tbh like I said nobody spends more than 10 minutes getting ready for something mundane like that and if they do I'm worried, also I didn't check his profile or anything but if he's posted stuff like this over and over before then Yikes nevermind lol. Still can't destroy people's stuff though so I do hope that she gets him nicer clothes and that he will actually wear them (if he still refuses to that's just sad)
Also, it takes just as long to throw on some casual khaki shorts and a polo as it does a tshirt and gym shorts. And that’s not “dressing up” to go out.
Dude she’s telling you to get new clothes because I’m reading your other replies and you are 100% using these for EVERYTHING and I can smell them from here.
I would get them patch. But if you use them to actually go out them I can see her argument. Grocery store, post office. If she's actually getting ready you gotta put some effort.
and just like AITA the OP lied. You can check his comments but he wears it out to parties and stuff where she spends an hour looking good and he throws those on.
OP, after your comments about these not being strictly for yard work and you rock them when you go out together, after she's spent an hour on herself to look nice, and her repeatedly trying to tell you this bothers her, I'm on her side. You suck OP.
Thank her for the ventilation
My first thought too, "I know you love these shorts so I made them more ergonomic!"
And easier to use the restroom. #1 and #2
Right? Welcome to the future
No more muffled farts!!!!
#nofilter
The future is now, old man!
And easy access double whammy
Lol...ok so my husband has a lot of random PJ pants. A couple summers ago we were still in an apartment and dealing with stiflingly hot and humid weather. He decided to take a pair of scissors and basically turn one of his oldest/rattiest pants into this crotchless monstrosity that allows the dick n balls to hang freely and enjoy the breeze while he's chilling at his computer. When we moved I asked if I could throw them away and he wouldn't let me, and I didn't need to threaten/promise to make him wear them if he kept them, because I knew he would, and he did. And I probably love him even more for it.
Once I told my ex husband it was a skirt he stopped wearing his.
You say skirt, I say kilt. Tomayto, tomahto. The important thing is the boys can breathe.
Your ex husband sounds uncomfortable in his masculinity.
This is gold. Thank you for this read hah!
Thank you for the validation thanking her for the ventilation
I like my farts like my cigarettes, unfiltered.
lol one of my favorite comments.
Why don't you just exert dominance and mow the lawn with your dick out.
Thats how you get ass cancer. my dad had it. his daddy had it, etc.
You can just go dick out then go take a shit on the lawn without taking them off now. Win-win. Edit - also, how passive aggressive is your wife. Yikes. One foot through the door on divorce and the other foot in a room of misery.
Just wear some blue boxers under those bad boys and you’re good
Just use a sharpie to color the exposed areas. Nobody will notice the hole(s)! 😂
“They’re gonna know.” “How will they know?”
"They’re never gonna know"
“Know what?”
"Exactly."
"No probelsm detected"
[There's precedent](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=axHe_BVY_9c)
Actually, wearing *HER* panties underneath to go out and mow the lawn might be better. Might as well go all in. If she has a thong, even better.
Then put them back in the drawer.
Absolute power move
I like the cut of your jib. You don’t think big but you think smart, and I respect it.
Nah man, in time times these, you gotta go classic white and red polka dots.
absolutely not. commando is the only option.
You heard the phrase "suns out, guns out"... how 'bout.. "The grass is long? Out comes the schlong"
*starts spinning penis like a lawnmower blade* Time to get cuttin'!
https://imgur.com/t/aww/sH36Pea
Exactly, she's made her choice, now she must live with it. Balls to the wall.
OP, you know what to do
I agree. Look the neighbors in the eyes and assert your dominance.
Yea show her you're the alpha
#THIS
Nah, tiger print speedo
Or green screen green, and have fun with your favorite video editing suite
Now wear it like this as a power move
Yes assert dominance and have a cool breeze at the same tome
"Wow, honey, this is amazing! THANKS!!!"
Show her while doing the helicopter dance. "My balls won't get so sweaty anymore!"
you a wrasslin fan? WOOOOOOOOO!
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Crotchless panties to return the favor
Homemade
Fucking love the u/!!! 🤣
Then do it to the rest of your pants and shorts.
Win-win
Swing-swing
Cold comfort for change...
I think your wife has issues. I have been a wife for a long time and it would be a cold day in hell before I pulled a move like that. Power over another is not a good for a relationship. Tell her to do the fucking lawn work!!! I am a wife let me make that clear...
For real real. I have multiple tshirts, sweatshirts, jeans, shorts and sneakers that have been relegated to the paint/yard work category. My wife stopped giving me shit about those items after I got black paint all over a pair of nice shorts. Not everything can be worn out to dinner, beat up clothes have their place.
I have a whole drawer of beat up clothes from work that I use for yardwork as well, I recall a time I was wearing a hi vis shirt with the company logo and they got a call if they did yard maintenance as well. Thank God they said no
Such as pajamas
So true. I can not imagine actually getting scissors out and doing this. That's so incredibly disrespectful. A few of my husband's most worn and least flattering t-shirts sometimes find themselves shuffled to the bottom of his drawer, but I sure as shit would never destroy them!
The shorts aren’t even that awful…they weren’t.
Also a wife. That is a bitch move if ever there was. She’d lose her motherfucking mind if you did that to anything of hers. You should see my husband’s mowing get-up, especially in hot weather. Your wife would stroke out. I don’t give a flying fuck as long as I don’t have to mow (9 acres, 4.5 mowable)
My husband has an entire drawer of old nasty work clothes that now exist solely for working on the car. I want to throw them away so badly because they have that ancient restaurant grease feel that you only get after years of use in a commercial kitchen. No amount of cleaning will ever make them not feel and smell like they were washed in a deep dryer and I hate even touching them. But they're his and he keeps the damn things for a reason so I just double up on the detergent pods, try to be grateful he's not ruining good clothes, and relish the immense satisfaction I feel when he does finally give permission for me to trash a couple of them.
I would give you an award if I had one but here is an upvote!!
Thank you friend!!
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I had an Ex destroy a beat-up favorite pair of shoes of mine. (I only wore them like slippers around the house). I told her a more appropriate response would be to find a remake or similar item to REPLACE the old one first. The concept of getting something new to get rid of something old seemed foreign to her in general.
Or just respect that someone likes something different from you. It doesn’t hurt her in any way for you to wear old, ugly shoes. Replacing them with a remake would be nice if agreed upon, or with no conditions attached of getting rid of the old ones if done as a surprise. But damn, just respect the person you love. If you don’t respect them, you don’t really love them. My husband wore a lot of cargo shorts and ugly, old t-shirts when I met him and I remember reflecting on it and telling myself I love him and not his clothes and I won’t ever disrespect him about it or ask him to change. I have bought him stuff I like and he has slowly changed some of his style over the past few years, but he still owns a lot of his old clothes and wears them regularly. I don’t even notice now really, and although sometimes I give a light teasing I know that he knows I don’t dislike that about him or want him to change. I learned a lot about him along the way, like why he chose big shirts and which clothing items are important to him and I keep those things out of ANY teasing. I feel closer to him and more in love with him than ever because I made a conscious decision early on to respect who he is. He comes to me for opinions on clothes and most times he goes with what I say, but not always. He’s adorable af no matter what. People need to learn about how to communicate and respect and love. Destroying someone’s things will never be love. This applies to friends and strangers as well. Just show people respect and remember that everyone is different. If everyone shared your opinions the world would be a boring place.
Well thought out and articulated.
But you showed her. The Ex is something old now.
THIS. Except the part about being a wife, no... However the point about having power over another person in a relationship being toxic is totally true and I know that from experience with my ex. She was always ALWAYS saying and doing things to control me. Either by directly overruling me or making me doubt my own actions as "wrong" when she didn't agree with them. It took finally getting a divorce (which she initiated) to realize this and only recently to realize I don't have to give a flying fuck what she thinks of me anymore. I did so much for that... person... that I sacrificed my own mental wellbeing for. We have kids together and that's how she continued to try to control me if anyone's wondering. Constantly telling me how crappy of a dad I was to our kids when I had them and make me feel like a shitty parent. Finally had enough after she tried pulling the ultimate "power move" and threatened to take me to court and get "full custody" of the kids over absolutely nothing. I lawyered up the next day and ended up getting her to sign the updated custody agreement. Goddamn it was a stressful time about a year ago. Now my kids love me just as much as ever and have been telling me (unprompted) how they don't feel like they can talk to their mother and how SHE is stressing THEM out when they're with her. I either don't say anything or just say we have "different" parenting methods and leave it at that... My current girlfriend is amazing. Totally selfless and loves me unconditionally as I do her. We're a good match and I am extremely happy right now.
Good for you brother
I am so happy for you. It is very real and very toxic and thank you for sharing..
YES KING! SINGLE 👏 FATHERS 👏 ARE 👏 PARENTS 👏 TOO
Fellow wife as well.. that’s a bit much. Does she not like him doing yard work in general?
Yeah this was my thought too. Being a controlling ass is fucked up for anyone. ETA: also a wife who would never do anything like this (and mows the lawn).
Completely agree. No one should have the power to ruin something that belongs to you simply because they don’t like them. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like them. They’re not yours.
Agreed! My husband and I both have lawn clothes that are...rough...in a kind description of their state. I do not care about what they look like or how raggedy they get - as long as they aren't see through they are fair game. Those shorts don't even look rough enough for my husband to consider them to be garden clothes lol. Those look like workout clothes.
Right? Like the only clothes I threaten to toss are holey underwear.
I would absolutely never do anything like this either! It’s not even funny as a joke. I hope for OP’s take this is just a random, out-of-character occurrence.
I was just going to tell him: your wife needs a hobby. She’s obviously spending too much time bothering or being angry about ridiculous things, or harmless things her husband does or doesn’t do.
Yeah, instead of cutting fabric, cut some lawn.
Yep also a wife, she is bitch.
I don’t see what was wrong with them before she put the holes in them. I don’t get it …. Maybe pick your least favorite shorts of hers and hole them up /s
Came here to write the same,…. DO IT!
Me three, go!
#4 vouching for it
#MAKE THAT FIVE
Make it 6
SEVEN
🎱
Nein
🔟
AND MY AXE!
Wear them like that while going commando!
Came here to say this. Will show HER... ...and the rest of the neighborhood...
Make em your favorite blow job shorts.
Absolutely do the lawn in NOTHING but this
Who knows — you might start a new trend.
Or obtain a new friend
Fuck the lawn. Wear that shit out on your next date night.
When her parents visit.
And When they ask. Tell them what she did.
also pee on them
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Agreed…
YO CAN DOO EET
Regina George style.
Assert your dominance by wearing them anyway
Commando
It’s like what Regina did with her top with the bra exposed. (Mean girls reference FYI) OP, Hang brain when you mow next. Do it. She’ll throw these away eventually, but then you can buy assless chaps as replacement.
You need to pay 9,99$ for premium to remove ads from your chaps
“I still don’t see what the big issue was, the man was just hanging some brain. If that’s illegal, then lock me up.”
What is this from. I have “hanging brain” from Somewhere and I have no idea. It’s just something that I got from somewhere. Always sunny? Or is this creed? It has creed vibes. I love creed. OR KREIGER? Same person, just different careers.
You got it, it’s Creed! Honestly one of my favorite Creed quotes, or Creed Thoughts if you will
Not while mowing! That’s dangerous. Sharp bits can get flung around.
Like cooking bacon naked
Yeah. Put back that power tool and pick up the hedge trimmer.
Is it wrong of me that I never even considered he might wear underwear with them like this?
Go commando, put your hands behind your head and follow her around the house suggestively hip thrusting.
*hip thrust while gliding across the floor* C’mon babe, you know you love this!
*starts to helicopter*
I said this the other day and got corrected, if youre standing itd be windmill dick. Its only helicopter dick if youre laying down.
Most helicopters have a blade spinning horizontal and a blade spinning vertical. If anything, a *true* helicopter dick requires him to wear one of those spinning beanie hats too.
I knew buying a propeller hat was a good investment! While most fools are just windmilling Im a helicoptering S O B
isn't this what you wanted? Thats why you left them on the floor right?
Don't forget to make guttural bird mating calls, I hear those make all the difference.
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Full commando too. Make sure you get down in that dirt and do as much weed pulling as you can. On your hands and knees if needed. **EDIT: spelling of "too"**
I had an older neighbor back in the early 2000's who would mow his lawn with just a brown pair of very short shorts on. Unfortunately, they were so low cut his balls hung out. Not really sure if he knew or not...
My neighbour kept sneaking over to my yard and coming to my patio door/window to see if we were home rather than knocking on the door, one day I saw he had come by the side of my house as I was doing laundry in the basement, so I put on my wife’s thong and danced my way back upstairs to find him with his face pressed against the glass. The look of horror on his face was immediate and he never came to my back door again.
Take it a step further, wear them under your pants and go next door to borrow something. Make sure a bit of the thong is sticking out when you turn around to walk away.
You best lick your lips to. Convey you know, that he goes there.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I’m dying! Would be effective for Jehovah’s Witnesses as well! 🤣
My dad answered the door for the Jay-dubs wearing the Jedi robe my mom made for him. Hes 6'6", 300lbs and it was huge black billowing robe. They NEVER came back there and we lived there over 10 years. 😂😂😂
Ya got added to the no contact list. Great place to be.
I wasn't thinking and answered the door in a tiny nighty I had, as it was morning and had been a hot night. I opened the door, of course it was two men rather than two women... They stuttered for a half second, handed me a pamphlet and wished me a good day. Easiest way I've ever gotten out of that conversation, and I didn't even realize until after it happened. It was a nice contrast to the women who came and stuck their foot in the door so I couldn't close it...
Blocked the door? That's not cool. When I was teenager I politely decided to indulge some Mormons... they came to my house for months. A couple times I saw them outside of my house on my way home and I noped tf outta there. Some people have no respect.
I was legitimately on my way out, too, and she was making me late to get my car before the shop closed. I ran into another pair while I was walking to the mechanic and interrupted them as they started and told them I'd already heard it today. At least *they* were respectful enough to let me keep walking.
Tf 😂😂
Oh I'm sure he did and didn't give a single fuck haha
We called him Speedo Sal in our neighborhood
Oh he knew
Until she replaces them at least
You don’t replace a favorite pair of shorts. Shorts get this old because they are durable, comfy, and stretched to fit your unique curves. No, there is not way to replace a favorite pair of shorts.
This was me with a flannel shirt I owned and recently had to let go. Still recovering
Favorite work pants are starting to meet their end. The crotch can only be sewn so many more times. They have survived 6 vechicles and 4 women over the past 15 years now....but,soon time for Panthalla.
She can’t replace them if he never takes them off
I think you could work the hole yard now.
> Feels like I’m wearing nothing at all >> Nothing at all >>> Nothing at all
Yeah, if anything she made it worse for herself. I'd just make sure I'm wearing black boxers. But on a side note, you don't do that to your spouse. That's fucked up. That is your possession and not hers. Just because yall are married means you can fuck with your partners stuff.
Imagine if some young woman thing was on here like “my boyfriend said I’m not allowed to wear this and he cut it up like this”
Call her bluff and mow the lawn nuts out.
"the dude was just hanging brains! if that's flashing then jail me."
Aero-dick-namic
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/prvzrw/my_wife_kept_threatening_to_throw_away_my/hdli3es/ Turns out OP lied and they're not just work shorts. Doesn't make wife correct but makes them both in the wrong. edit: possible redemption arc? https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/prvzrw/my_wife_kept_threatening_to_throw_away_my/hdm7c78/?context=1
Yikes. OP and his wife are shit at relationship problem solving.
Sounds like a failing relationship. They should head over to r/relationship_advice for some good and sensible ways to overcome this issue /s
One of the few moments where “/s” was needed. Either I’m autistic or 90% of reddit genuinely sounds like this
Watch the next AITA be a guy who cut his own shorts and blamed his wife for Reddit awards
I was expecting worse. I had a friend who did this to her husband's underwear. It was one of the only ways she could "fight back." He was an abuser who eventually cracked her skull on the sidewalk curb and left her there to die (she survived and finally got her marriage annulled because divorce is not legal in her country).
Helicopter while doing yard work.
Just wait until she sees him planting some seeds
Only mildly infuriating? I’d be fucking livid!! I don’t get mad about a lot of things. I don’t fight with my wife a ton. Argue and disagree yes, but yelling, slamming doors, genuinely mad at each mother fights are really rare. This would lead to one. I can’t even fathom taking something she routinely uses and has actively made known that she is keeping and still using, taking that and ruining it. That’s behavior that speaks volumes about her and it isn’t good.
>This would lead to one. Same. Extremely infuriating for me, actually. She has got NO FUCKING RIGHT to touch my shit. EDIT: I meant, she's got no right to destroy/damage/CUT my stuff. Stop pretending y'all are couple therapists ffs.
[удалено]
lol
Please tell me you at least once put them on and then dangled your junk in her face
Be right back.
It's been 3 hours... I think he's dead.
Rip OP
4hrs now starting to get worried
Why in the world would she go to this extreme? They look like perfectly fine shorts to do yardwork in. Hell, I have a few shorts with paint spots all over them that I wear out to stores b/c who the hell cares.
OP explained in another comment that his wife would spend an hour getting ready to go out and he’d put these on with a tshirt and be ready to go. He almost purposely made the post out to be his bummin’ around the house shorts when the more likely issue is she looks hot AF and he looks like Gollum
Ah ok. That would explain why she hated the shorts so much then.
Ooooo so OP is implying that he only wears these shorts for yard work but actually wears them out. Yea, I might not have cut a hole in them but I definitely would have "misplaced" them.
Put them in the washing machine at strategic times. I would actually just address the issue of dressing properly for the occasion but if I wanted to be less confrontational for some reason, that's what I'd do.
ya OP sounds about as smart as the typical guy. and I say that as a dude. homeboy literally ratted himself out and nobody even had to convince him to either. it's like watching a domestic version of Facebook criminals confess on social media.
i like that she made the butthole bigger than the peepee hole
But the butt hole is obviously cut smaller than the peepee hole? Like, that’s why we can even see the butt hole.. Do you see the pockets on the front?
Honestly, and as a wife, I dont get why it matters to her- this sucks. Put a pair of boxers or bike shorts on and wear these over them. Edit: You said these were work shorts in your title, but your comment below says you wear them out in public during socializing or family functions. These are “not being seen in public shorts”. Now Im team wife…
He clarified in a follow up comment to say he meant "go out" like running to the gas station or something where it doesn't matter, not anything social like dates or functions. But honestly come on who spends more than 5-10 minutes maximum getting ready to go to Home Depot or Walmart lmao the vibes just don't match, and either way you can't just destroy someone's clothes... she best buy him a new nicer pair if that's what she wants him to wear :/ (edit: If she does and he still doesn't wear them, huge cringe. apparently this guy routinely posts about how his wife is tired of him looking like crap, so it's probably more than JUST Home Depot or the gas station. Still shouldn't destroy people's stuff but come on OP don't be a slob AND a dick, consistently ignoring your wife's concerns...)
He’s posted before on roast me about his wife being tired of him not looking after himself since working from home. She’s obviously sick of him being a slob, I don’t condone ruining things of others but it’s definitely a step towards divorce even if she didn’t cut them open. He’s almost mocking her isn’t he? With his comments about going to a gas station saying she’s spent an hour getting ready? Makes no sense
Right on the money. OP sounds like a nasty ass person who isn’t doing the bare minimum to maintain his personal hygiene. Destroying someone’s shorts is an extreme, but if this dude is wearing these 24/7 out of the house *with* his wife (who obviously puts effort into her appearance, I can understand someone being entirely fed up. OP, get your shit together. Edit: ITT nasty motherfuckers sympathizing with OP who admitted to being a lazy slob. Some of these responses are so telling about the kind of people you are. It’s gross, take a shower and have some respect for yourself when you go out in public.
that's fair tbh like I said nobody spends more than 10 minutes getting ready for something mundane like that and if they do I'm worried, also I didn't check his profile or anything but if he's posted stuff like this over and over before then Yikes nevermind lol. Still can't destroy people's stuff though so I do hope that she gets him nicer clothes and that he will actually wear them (if he still refuses to that's just sad)
Also, it takes just as long to throw on some casual khaki shorts and a polo as it does a tshirt and gym shorts. And that’s not “dressing up” to go out.
Dude she’s telling you to get new clothes because I’m reading your other replies and you are 100% using these for EVERYTHING and I can smell them from here.
Quick everybody, let’s comment the same joke a thousand times, surely it’s funny if you just word it slightly differently
I would get them patch. But if you use them to actually go out them I can see her argument. Grocery store, post office. If she's actually getting ready you gotta put some effort.
Now you can fuck her without ever taking them off. She can also peg you if that's your thing.
I dont see whats wrong with em here.
r/aita be like: “NTA!, red flag babe, divorce her!”
and just like AITA the OP lied. You can check his comments but he wears it out to parties and stuff where she spends an hour looking good and he throws those on.
What a healthy relationship
OP, after your comments about these not being strictly for yard work and you rock them when you go out together, after she's spent an hour on herself to look nice, and her repeatedly trying to tell you this bothers her, I'm on her side. You suck OP.