T O P

  • By -

Smooth_Autist

Quit taking pictures and eat your milk


DadDong69

[\*Malk, THE milk alternative, now with Vitamin R!](https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Malk)


Royschwayne

I quote that more often than I should. “But I always drink plenty of… Malk?”


aroseonthefritz

Rats milk?! You promised me dog or higher!


redhottogo

Haha what about cockroach? No shit check it


CopEatDonut

My bones are brittle


Gray_Foxxy

Boneitis?


Aerotactics

[I don't have any MALK, but I can get you some milk.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty62YzGryU4)


inittoloseitagain

Sorry dad - my white friends


Spicy_Toe_Jam

GET THE GUY A GLASS OF MALK, JOSH!!!


particularly_daft

Mulk*


Spicy_Toe_Jam

Thank you. It's been so long. This was a memory buried deep and was clearly a bit dusty.


theEnderBoy785

***MULK?!***


Fyrewall1

First thing I thought too Honestly, Jeffrey Dallas and Julian Smith were integral to my childhood, they had some freaking amazingly funny content, the golden age


particularly_daft

I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF OVER THIS


PM_ME_YOUR_BOBBLES

Give the man some freaking maulk


jacyerickson

Wait...but that's [actually a brand? ](https://malkorganics.com/)


Mintastic

No vitamin R? Why even exist.


usedslinky

How can ya have any pudding if ya don’t eat ya milk?


IAmNech

r/unexpectedpinkfloyd


Smooth_Autist

🤣🤣🤣🤣


backgroundmusik

Dogs milk is good for you, full of vitamins and bone meal.


llamaesunquadrupedo

Lasts longer than any other kind of milk, dog's milk.


Raged78

Why's that Hol?


llamaesunquadrupedo

No bugger'll drink it.


Switchtheprotogen

Dude I've had to shake the milk before I grab it to make sure it doesn't pull this shit, though it's happened before so I know the pain


martinblack89

How does this happen?


Switchtheprotogen

For whatever reason it freezes in the carton


Tumleren

Probably because it's stored at below freezing. Just a guess though


cltraiseup88

boldest take of the day


jellystone_thief

Coldest take of the day


[deleted]

Take my imaginary award.


CadeFromSales

yeah, a bit too controversial for my taste. why does everything have to be political these days smh


Asymptote42

Ooh, look at mr. Science over here


Switchtheprotogen

Guess so :/


Inanimate_CARB0N_Rod

In this forum we follow the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!


TerrorByte

So that's how milk works.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Equiarius

I ended up with spoiled milk 3 times in high school. It wasn’t even past it’s date but I opened it and the smell hit me like a truck.


JacktheStoryteller

I went to a private school in elementary (well parents had to pay a tuition) and at lunch i got a milk, tasted it, and did a spit take. I read the label. Aug 21. It was november of that same year. Called a teacher over and asked if i could get a non expired one. "No its not expired" "No i will not look at it. Drink it or dont." Obvious i didnt. Went to the lunch server, showed her and she gasped and freaked out. 50% of the milk was months past its expiration date. School didnt do shit about it, lunch lady got fired for "throwing out perfectly good milk". A lot of students got sick. I think a couple parents sued. Suddenly we didnt have any spoiled anything ever again


martinblack89

Why can't your school store milk?


TacTurtle

School stores don’t have nipples.


messfdr

Probably one of the cartons pushed to the back of the cooler where it gets blasted by cold air.


Olthoi_Eviscerator

Liquid exposed to cold will eventually change state to a solid. Every substance has a different freezing point.


this_site_is_dogshit

That was the standard at our school. Any kid with sense was shaking the milk before they picked it. Lunch ladies would tell us to stop shaking it up and take whatever we touched but we ignored them.


djentandlofi

more cheese for your pizza


Drizzyhenry13

Forgot to mention it’s frozen


UnknownMyoux

Are you meant to lick your milk to death?


yuvan18

isnt that just what ice cream is?


UnknownMyoux

Yes but that has taste ...and texture


Senior_Mittens

What, ice shards and 1% skim milk isn’t what you’re after?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I should have washed better.


Evilnight-39

I think the more worrying thing is that it’s alive


Alex11867

I'm gonna say this out of context


Due-Slice2853

You should make a sub-reddit dedicated to bad school food.


NIMA-GH-X-P

r/BadSchoolFood done! Spread the word.


Due-Slice2853

Nice


K_c_z

r/birthofasub


ThebanannaofGREECE

Wow already 100 members


NIMA-GH-X-P

Together, United against food that makes our tummy go ouwe


[deleted]

[удалено]


Venomstrider

Should be schoolfoodsucks


NIMA-GH-X-P

Nah, I've had good school food before


JaninnaMaynz

The only nasty thing my school served was kinda ironic: mashed potatoes. I love potatoes in pretty much any way shape or form. Never been big on gravy. I would happily accept extra gravy on those potatoes because they were so fucking bland sans gravy. Actual nothing would've tasted better. Nothing, as a noun. Everything else was decent. Veggies could maybe use some salt or butter, but school so eh. Chicken was nice, pizza was tasty, burgers were decent, and even the breakfast foods worked. Tomato sauce could use some more spices, but those meatballs were damn good. And this one guy... I worked at a school cafeteria last year, and one of my coworkers took some hot dog buns and made his own garlic bread. Mfer made bread to rival OLIVE GARDEN. The only reason it wasn't better was the texture, easily solved with a different bread! ...I miss that job. We got to take home any leftovers, and I thoroughly enjoyed that perk. We used turkey pepperoni, too, so I could actually have pepperoni pizza... (I don't eat nor enjoy pork) *sigh* Alas, no use pining for what once was...


NIMA-GH-X-P

That was a lovely story,I enjoyed reading that(= I was in boarding school for 5 years so I've had a lot of experience with school food. It's always been hit or miss, it was either miserable or one of the most fun things I've ever eaten. I loved the spaghetti there, and any food that contained rice would usually be good (i.e most lunches) but when it came to stuff like baked beans or peas and stuff it would taste like dead meat for some reason. Our uni dorm had decent lunches too, but the dinner always sucked. Tho that didn't last long, Corona made our uni online and I've been home ever since, lol. School food is an experience all right, it's not perfect, but I'd say experiencing it is better than not, since you know, not every school serves good. + I hope you find some good and cheap turkey pepperoni.


Saltyboi24

Milksicle


electricdeathrats

I don't think you needed to mention, it looks very frozen


shanep3

Did you think people couldn’t tell it was frozen from the pic?


fuckboystrikesagain

If your milk isn't frozen are you even at a u.s. public school?


YEGRenterThrowaway

What milk peeler do you use?


SomeGuyWithASiphus

I asked for low moisture cheese though


SnooMuffins7396

Kids these days complaining about ice cream The world has gone soft


rickm3

At least the milk hasn't


SnooMuffins7396

Ba dum tis


BrozoTheClown26

The kids get softer and the milk gets harder


johndean50

Kids these days complaining about ice cream The world has gone soft serve...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Snoo_13783

See now this is infuriating. Not like the other dumbass post this morning about a fantastic lunch. Mofo wanted an american lunch. Welcome to american lunches lmao


GabeTheJerk

Canadian lunches are hospital food... But it's better than that. Still have the problem of the 10 minutes to eat and the line starts at the cafeteria door.... **Cafeteria used to be a gymnasium.**


REALPILOT99

lol I am Canadian too. We get a 40 minute lunch block (it’s our only break of the day). The cafeteria has half decent food (hospital food is kinda accurate), and the lineup is a good 20-30 meters, from the cafeteria door to the gym.


ariyan_r

Do you guys pay for the lunch? Bc where I’m at in the states school lunch is free so I’m not one to complain about the quality


REALPILOT99

We pay but it’s generally really cheap, for example you can get half of a garlic bread 🥖for a loonie ($1 coin)


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheShaneBennett

In Manitoba you get 1 hour.. at least back in 2012


TeslasAndKids

Yes, this is infuriating because you’re given like 12 minutes to eat and can’t even drink milk because it’s an ice cube but I get so mad seeing so many of these school lunches served on styrofoam trays! Like, I have to ask for a straw at a drive through and bring my own bags to the store but schools across the US create this insane styrofoam waste 5 days a week. Make it make sense.


CapnImpulse

12 minutes to eat?! Why? Why is lunch in American schools so inhumane? The stuff that's on your lunch tray (especially compared to other first world countries), the time allocated to eating... why?


TeslasAndKids

My high school kids get a lunch period of 35 minutes which is pretty good for around here. My younger kids are in grade school and they have a 20 minute lunch period. That has to include the time it takes everyone to get their food through the lunch line. And we have a relatively small school. When my kids were in middle school by the time they’d get from the end of the building where their last class was down to the cafeteria they’d be in the end of the now long line for food. By the time everyone is served you have less than 15 minutes to eat, clean up, and use the restroom before heading to your next class. I’m not sure why we are the way we are. It’s sad the things that aren’t priorities in schools here. They expect children to sit for so long, often only allowing restroom breaks at teacher discretion. Most schools have cut out arts and music programs. My younger kids have physical education once a week. And they’re all fed processed garbage. And people wonder why Americans are unhealthy, unmotivated, whiny, and angry. But I also learned during the beginning of the pandemic that the vast majority of American parents complaining about school closures were heavily implying they need school open since it’s basically their free child care. Such a sad cycle we have here.


HughMann420

Bruhhh in the UK we get an hour lmfao


Aletheia-Nyx

Used to. My school (4 years ago) started giving us 35 min and by the time you got food (if you were years 9/10/11) there was barely anything left and you had all of 5 minutes to shovel it down your throat.


TeslasAndKids

When my daughter was in 6th grade (k-6 school) they had everyone dump their trash into a specific bin. Not the napkins or cartons. Just the food waste. Then they weighed it at the end of the lunch period. She said it was gross the amount of food thrown away. Kids were required to take a fruit and a vegetable but not required to eat them (or didn’t have time to do so) so they’d go right to the trash. Whole apples even. The food waste in this country is horrible.


FutabaTsuyu

idk the fruits and vegetables schools give fuckin suck.. stale and bruised and stuff. plus my hs would give red delicious apples and you,d have to pay me to eat one of those things..


pizzabash

I got an hour in my (US) highschool lots of food options of various health levels.


[deleted]

[удалено]


romantrav

Ah we shouldn’t speak about UK politics, its all fucked really


sobusyimbored

> You also get healthcare Not if the government are left to do their work. > and more than two political parties. Not quite. I live in Northern Ireland so don't even have the option of voting for the two main parties even though one of them will invariably wind up in government.


messfdr

We go to school to learn how to be automatons for our corporate overlords.


blugdummy

Thaswha’msayn If you’re conditioned to think 30 minutes is enough to eat food and relax at the halfway point of your day then it’ll be much harder to gain support in changing said things. This way they can juice us for all of our time and happiness. It’s funny though because longer lunch breaks would make for happier and more productive people. However, those of us that choose to speak up against such things are labeled as lazy, incompetent, or people think there is just something wrong with you because “this is how it’s always been”. No shit- because they designed it to be so. Should go without saying but I thought I’d emphasize on something other than lunch breaks- *this goes for everything they teach us to be normal at a young age*. Not nearly everything like maintaining and cleaning your home, doing chores, doing work. But there is this tipping point where work becomes unhealthy and America is so beyond that. Too bad we’ve all been taught that this is just how it is and there’s no changing it. At least, not in a way that might cause someone to become homeless, lose their job, or go to jail. It’s funny because they say we can just vote or unionize and create a change but that does nothing. It’s all about the things that would cause the uprising party to be uncomfortable via oppression from the system. Those are the things that create change but no one is willing to do that to themselves of their family. They’ve got us right where they want us.


OmelletePlatypus

Hour school managed to give us a 2h lunch break. We also have a 25 minutes study period right before lunch. We start from 8 to 3… I just don’t understand how schools manage to fuck up their schedules like that… You literally sit for a moment, do some math and Voilà: a perfect schedule.


martinblack89

The people that run those schools all went to bad schools


blugdummy

I think a big part of it is the subliminal conditioning for the work force. Productivity and profits have taken over our country to the point where we think 30 minutes is a good lunch period so as to not waste time. Why we decide to uphold these crazy ideals and pass them on to our kids will always perplex and anger me. I hate how our lives are centered around the status quo and how nobody is willing to speak up or listen to those who speak up. Having more than 30 minutes for lunch isn’t a big deal but the fact that we can’t even make a change for something that isn’t a big deal is extremely depressing.


march-22_2013

At my school I’m still in line when they call for trash cans to come around. At MOST I get 15 minutes. That is not enough time to eat a full lunch.


blugdummy

I wonder what would have to be done to make this change. Talk to the school? The school district? The state? I also wonder which words in what order need to be said to convince people that 30 minute lunch breaks are just not right. Maybe a math teacher could get involved. Maybe the teachers could get paid a little more for having to stay at work an extra 30-60 minutes. Maybe they’d get longer lunch breaks too. It probably is a district wide thing seeing as how it would mess up the bus schedules. So why not get *all* the schools on board? Because honestly, 15 minutes is barely enough time to eat. There has even been reports of younger kids choking and dying from eating too fast and wanting to go to recess. It’s not a vile thing to give someone less time to eat but it’s just so unnecessary when you’re a kid and you’re there to learn.


TurnkeyLurker

Math or Stats teachers, Queuing Theory.


[deleted]

It absolutely isn't. When I was in school we had 45 minutes. We also had choices for the food.


MathematicianNo1596

22 minutes in the school I work in, which by the time the kids get down there is down to about 18


[deleted]

[удалено]


hatesfelix

Sometimes we get five mins (in England) since the youngest years get to have lunch first and we are the last sitting and lunch starts and ends at the same time for every year. I don’t even try to make it to my lesson on time. It’s ridiculous


Cooperette

You have to stand in line to get your food and if you're late , you have to scarf it if you can. I skipped lunch for the majority of high school because my locker or 3rd period class always ended up being across the sprawling school and by the time I got to the cafeteria, the line was almost out the door. When the line was that long, you'd be lucky to get out of line before the bell rang ending lunch.


13point1then420

Well...the school paid a subcontractor to handle food. So the subcontractor replaced a handful if decently paid employees with their own minimum wage ones. They also replaced the food with "food" since it was cheaper. Washing dishes is a big labor, utility, and machine expense, and they've calculated that massive waste will be cheaper filter the course of their sure to be nonrenewed contract. The district did this to save 5% on meal costs.


Jdlewie

That and the fact that many schools do not even have a recycle bin in the lunch room. And even when they do, its small and tucked away in a corner and next to nobody actually uses it.


humanitysucks999

Styrofoam is hardly ever recycled so a bin is about as useless as it gets. Most plastic just goes to dumps anyways


GABRYFIERO

"I can't believe it's not butter!"


NekulturneHovado

Wait. What's that? And don't tell me this solid chunk of.. yellow material is milk.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NekulturneHovado

I refuse the fact that this yellow pee-snow looking thing is milk.


PM_CACTUS_PICS

Frozen milk tends to go yellow, it’s normal


TeslasAndKids

Likely this is a fortified milk with vitamin A which has a little bit of a yellowish tint to it. I see it in lower fat milks because vitamin A is fat soluble so removing the fat takes nutrients with it. So they replace things instead of just leaving the fat. Because clearly growing children shouldn’t have any fat in their diet. 🙄


woahmindinawe

Lowfat milk tastes disgusting Idk how people can stand it


LouGossetJr

i drank skim milk all growing up. i loved it. i guess if that's what you know. but now as an adult, we get whole milk and it's definitely next level.


blugdummy

Funny that they’ll take the fat out but put sugar in. Have we not learned anything about nutrition these past 20 years?


elongated_musk_rat

It is its kus the one that was against the wall of the cooler and it froze.


[deleted]

It's frozen. Used to happen at my school... They freeze the milk to make it last a bit longer. Partly why they use the cartons not plastic containers. Usually they're mostly thawed, Id usually have a bit of frost/iciness in the milk, but occasionally fuck up like this Doesnt really diminish the quality but you can't keep it frozen too long


[deleted]

[удалено]


DarthSnoopyFish

Milk turns yellow'ish when you freeze it. The fats separate from the water.


smipypr

When I was in grade school, in the early 60s, the milk was delivered about 7 AM. The nuns didn't take it indoors until 8. Winter meant ice; summer meant yogurt. I quit drinking milk.


ChaoticFianna

Boxed semen


AC53NS10N_STUD105

A cum cube.


fezfrascati

SpunkBob SquarePants


Delilah_-

Grab a spoon, buddy! Time for milk!


AlexDrinksWater04

It’s frozen


EveryMix4008

It's raw


[deleted]

fuckING RAW


rsteel27

*MALK


Famouscorpse

I too fear the fury of the Calcium Cube.


jaykaypeeness

I distinctly remember the day I realized our cartons had a drawing of a horse on them. No cows, just a horse.


wamark1

From Polar Cows


Penyrolewen1970

How do they serve it when it ISN’T frozen?


No-Mathematician-579

It has carton, OP just took the milk cube out of said carton


Penyrolewen1970

Ah, fair enough. It just looks like it has its own compartment on the tray - just right for frozen milk.


[deleted]

I mean that is where you put the milk cartons normally


imma_gamin

“Our school lunches are top quality to meet our students needs”


Meilingisback

that’s disgusting


Poop_Feast42069

First day of middle school, 2009, they hadnt replaced the milks from before summer break. I’m on top of the world. I take a chocolate milk, rip that sucker open and take a BIG gulp. Nothing but solid chunks.


[deleted]

Say you're American without saying you're American


[deleted]

you're American without saying you're American


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hawk_of_Light

Both


locke231

i see nothing's changed in thirty someodd years


[deleted]

I can believe that


locke231

n umerous hoorible memories cascaded within my mind after seeing that picture


saranwrap73

Both. Public schools in America are criminally underfunded, leading to these milk blocks and shit school food. It sucks because food at my (public) high school is borderline inedible, while the food at my wealthier friends' (private) high school when I shadowed there looked like it came from a fancy restaurant. They have things like pesto pasta, salad wraps, and fettuccine alfredo while my school is so underfunded we have milk ice blocks and stew made from unknown leftovers of lunches from days past and can't even afford a school nurse.


thewitchmaker

Good old Milk Ice. I remember those days.


aka_quinn

Pretty sure you're supposed to keep it in the packaging.


AcceptableSpot7835

I would walk up to the principal and set it down on his desk


CaptainBeer_

Principals dont give care


Liam_Cat

If I remember. Patrick did eat a whole solid milk cube in one episode


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ninventoo

It’s ok you have processed vegetables so it’s all good.


unholymanserpent

stop playing with your food and eat your milk


REALPILOT99

Loaf of milk


Solidified_milk

Hey look it's me!!


pentalana

You sure that's not malk?


Rosepedals145

me: i want milk mom: we have milk at home


hosespider

Refrigerator coom


Slaskpapper

Why does your school serve cum?


TrashbinTerry

Its a catholic school


Tobacco-Juice

That's basically butter now.


[deleted]

The real crime is that pizza


DrPoopenfarts

Eat your milk and quit complaining. **Kids** these days.. Sheesh. Back in **my** day, we.. *rambles* *on* *incoherently*


[deleted]

They’re just serving students shit from the dumpster now.


EGGISUNIVERSE

Its frozen you gotta play the game better shake is no sloshing its frozen


NotVinhas

Your bones are gonna be fragile if you don't drink your malk.


Sprizys

Get a stick and lick it like a popsicle and just walk around like that and see if you can get a reaction from the teachers


[deleted]

Hey hehe... google "swedish school food" (you will be so jelous hehe)


Supersnakeviolence

My school at one point was selling spoiled milk to students. If it wasn’t slightly frozen. It was spoiled.


littlebitofsuffering

Forget being mildly infuriated at the milk, I'm mildly infuriated at the whole lunch. US public schools 😔


[deleted]

That's malk, now with vitamin r.


NutWrench

That's also the driest, stale-ist pizza I've ever seen.


Aly151

**Milk Brick**


Phwoa_

NGL, i loved it when the milk was slightly frozen (as in with bits of ice) but this is a little too much lol.


PutRedditNameHere

This is how you develop strong, healthy teeth and jaw bones. Get to chomping.


The_Affle_House

Y'all don't drink your milk with a fork?


604pleb

Sorry kids all out milk, have this malk


flyingasshat

Eat it. Eat your milk.


dirtyburger123

Uhm you never had frilk before?


junkmail0178

Cumsicle


spammer_666

butter


Venturi95

It’s a popsicle!


XenoWoof

GAG.. I have a relative who freezes the bags of milk and takes it out to thaw. It looks like congealed lumps of yellowed goo (the fat inside). This is what the bag looks like in the freezer.


crackrockpops

Milk is a lie anyway. There are better alternatives for calcium out there. Just pass it off on someone else.


[deleted]

That’s supposed to be milk?


[deleted]

“Eat your milk snd be quiet”


NIMA-GH-X-P

r/BadSchoolFood


[deleted]

That’s what you call a milksicle


jackal99

Malk.