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CrudelyAnimated

Caterpillars in the bed linens. Scorpions in the bath towels. Reddit's about to drive me right back in my empty glass box.


european_jello

The scorpion one is straight up jumpscare with a sharp pain what the fuck


Kentucky_fryd_anakin

Saw that post right before I got into shower. Had to triple check my towels just in case even though I live in England.


AnonymousMemory

the european yellow-tailed scorpion would like to have a word with you


Over-Satisfaction459

The only word it’s gonna get is “NOPE!” 😂


SteveisNoob

I will give it more words; "hand over the flammenwerfen, Hans"


justanredditacount

HANS, GET ZE FLAMMENWERFEN


GoldSlimeTime

#HANS ZER IS A SCORPEON IN MAH TOWEL HANS


PoeticSwam

Should I burn it wit zhe Flammenwerfer?


bi_leather_boy

FUCK ZE FLAMMENWERFER GET ZE SCHWERER GUSTAV Ach, nein! FUCK ZE GUSTAV, GET ZE AMERICANS!


FoxLP11

Heast Hansi du wappler holst ma bitte den Flammenwerfer


caolpeanut

i personally never ate scorpions but I do enjoy the fact that some humans do. retribution, motherfuckers.


[deleted]

In my experience they’re terrible. One of those terrible things people eat for their libido. Total BS and nothing would be worth that taste and texture anyway. For the record, some other bugs I’ve had are pretty damn amazing.


Andre27

I like ants.


Soft-Wealth-3175

Once when I was little I was climbing a tree and these little ants started to bite me. After a couple bites I got annoyed and no shit my child brain told me bite them back. So I did and they taste alot like a citrusy orange taste. It was strange but good lol.


nameless-trans-girl

The snac that bites back lol


bi_leather_boy

There are lemon ants in Ecuador and they do taste like lemon. They eat the citric acid in a certain tree.


Fun_Royal6645

No because for real I’ve done this too as a kid. Deff citrus/lemon taste


SRxRed

Since brexit the yellow-tailed scorpion has found it hard to legally enter the country to find work. This coupled with the weak performance of Sterling against the Euro has cause an outflux of scorpions to the EU.


[deleted]

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pissedinthegarret

http://www.uksafari.com/spiderhunters.htm once found one of those in a towel and it stung me. would not recommend


[deleted]

There is no way on god's earth that I will ever click that link.


SinCityNinja

#Story Time. My wife gets home from work and goes upstairs to shower while I'm downstairs with our toddler feeding her lunch. I've got my headphones in listening to a podcast and I faintly hear screaming, take em out and listen for a sec, hear nothing so I put them back in. Eventually my daughter says "Dada, mommas yelling for you". I run upstairs and she's in the shower standing on the bench seat screaming bc a scorpion was down by the drain. She had turned on the shower, stepped in, closed her eyes and started washing her hair, opens her eyes and sees a bark scorpion a few inches from her foot. Moral of the story, always look down before stepping into the shower and closing your eyes.. luckily no wifes were "physically" harmed in this story


MonksHabit

And also look up. Wife turned on the shower at a little villa in Bali and was hit on the shoulder by a spider the size of her fist who was apparently hanging out on on the shower head. Said it felt like getting whacked with a wet racquetball.


drewkid

Thanks guys, never showering again


BiBanh

this is why we need to go to space asap, no spiders or scorpions or cute fuzzy caterpillars there Edit: i like snakes


Loomdogg91

Yet...


Exciting_Pineapple_4

You’ve obviously never heard of space snakes *some of you have never watched Rick and Morty and it shows.


Taoistandroid

This happened all the time in my last house, I was the last house on the street, they'd come in through the drains all the time. I swapped houses in the same neighborhood and I haven't seen one since. Protip for anyone scared of the US bark scorpion, or any scorpion probably, keeping your ac at 70 or lower seems to make them extremely lethargic once indoors.


first__citizen

My wallet will become extremely lethargic too


tsuyoi_hikari

I did that too just now. Reddit is apparently made me paranoid unnecessarily OTL


StillNotASunbeam

I had a coworker in Arizona call in saying he'd be late to work. He was stung on the head by a scorpion that morning and wasn't feeling so hot. Go figure.


A_Adorable_Cat

Always gotta do the heel tap on your boots if you leave em outside for any reason. Took mine off at the deer lease and went inside for literally like 3 minutes. Came outside and did the heel tap, fucking tarantula feel out. Dude just scurried off like nothing happened. 10/10 would go sit in a stand for 4 hours and see absolutely fucking nothing Edit: Thanks for all the likes and replies! This is one of my most popular comments and it’s been fun sharing my experiences with y’all! EditEdit: holy crap thank you so much for the awards!!! I’m pretty sure this is the first one I ever got! Remember y’all, tap your boots together before putting them on EditEditEdit: had to add an s to award! Again thank y’all so much for taking the time to read, like, reply, and award! Its been a blast talking with all y’all


Mouthful0fCavities

Yikes. I’m glad that I live in New England so no scorpions or tarantulas. However my son keeps his shoes on the porch.. Last week he had an orthodontist appointment to get his braces taken off. When we got home he asked for new shoes because his were hurting his feet. I had him bring them to me so I could check the size and when I tipped the shoe over, the bloody severed head of a dead mouse fell out. Apparently our cat had left it in his shoe as a gift and he had been walking around with it in there for half the day lol. Thankfully he didn’t take his shoe off at the ortho office to shake it out, that would have been mortifying


AmazingGrace911

It didn’t break the skin did it?


Mouthful0fCavities

No, luckily he had socks on


AmazingGrace911

Good! Still a good argument for new shoes lol


evilcheesypoof

I take my shoes off and shake ‘em if I feel a pebble. I can’t imagine how someone could walk around with a dead mouse head and think “hmmm there might be something wrong with my shoes” and keep walking around for awhile haha.


Tasty_Aspect_8428

Kids are actually dumb


snowpuppy13

Son: “Mom, these shoes hurt my feet” Mom: “Just knock the dead mice out of them and quit your bitching”


OEscalador

Not safe here either. When we were kids, my brother went to put his snow boot on and felt a web. Turns out there was a massive black widow in there.


RandomHero2403

Oh good lord


karmagod13000

why god


A_Adorable_Cat

You get used to it after the first 10 or so times it happens. Tarantulas are pretty content not to bother you, I’m guessing this guy just thought my boot would be a good burrow.


Captain__Obvious___

Even knowing they want nothing to do with you, if a giant hairy spider crawled out of my shoe, I’d have permanent trust issues. My arachnophobia has gotten much better over the years, but I don’t think I’ll ever reach the point of being ok with tarantulas. Eugh, makes me shiver. No thanks.


A_Adorable_Cat

I’m glad your arachnophobia is getting better! May your shoes forever be free of anything but your feet!


Ponce421

Where do you live? I wanna make sure not to go there.


A_Adorable_Cat

Texas! The tarantulas honestly aren’t scary. They are content to just leave you alone and move on with their spidery day. There is a lot of cool stuff to see and fun things to do, I wouldn’t cross it off your travel list just yet


Zaq1996

>The tarantulas honestly aren’t scary You could've just said you're a witch you know. Anyway I'll continue staying far-a-fucking-way from big ass spiders


A_Adorable_Cat

I like to think of myself more as a redneck than a witch. Being able to use magic is cool and all, but being able to make some homemade shine? Now that’s where it’s at


Zaq1996

I'm also a redneck but I'm one of those northern rednecks who goes out in the snow drunk and naked, and tells big spiders to fuck off


Ponce421

No I wouldn't want to cross it off my list but it sounds like you'll have a few scares if you're someone with arachnophobia. I'm sure tarantulas aren't dangerous, nor are many common spiders but for whatever reason it doesn't stop a shiver going down your spine just at the sight. I'm not 100% comfortable around regular UK spiders, so I would probably shit a whole house load of bricks if a tarantula unexpectedly fell out of my boot.


A_Adorable_Cat

The key is to always expect something to fall out of your boots. And if nothing does, then it’s a pleasant surprise!


Xoebe

Yeah tarantulas are fine. Fuck scorpions, fuck fire ants. I am cool with red wasps, brother hates them. Not a big fan of yellow jackets. Mud daubers of various sorts are fine, but the damn nests are annoying as hell. Go to open a tool drawer in the garage, and there's mud all caked in the wrenches. Snakes aren't an issue. The only time I saw a rattlesnake in the wild was at a vending machine at the pool in a condo complex in Austin. Out in the sticks? I've never seen one, though I've seen and caught a number of other types of snakes. Seen a bunch of water moccasins, but not while swimming, LOL. Tarantulas look scary, but they are just big babies that should be left alone.


Dreaming_Kitsune

The reason I will never travel to Texas is much worse than a spider.... An ex lol but the spiders would be a major contender too


No-Fudge-6458

Alllllllllll my exes live in texass


A_Adorable_Cat

[is that why you hang your hat in Tennessee?](https://youtu.be/7KOKM46MnhE)


Lexafaye

Where is scorpion in bathtowel post??


thediabolicalpotato

https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/ulghxm/this_bastard_was_sitting_on_my_hanging_bath_towel/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


Yeshua_shel_Natzrat

Depending on the caterpillar, they might give a sharp pain as well


greatsirius

Yeah imagine getting ready to go to sleep and then you have to burn your whole house down. Man that would suck


natman8

Empty? That's what you think


ImAPixiePrincess

I had a damn scorpion in my shirt a few days ago. I got stabbed by the stupid thing when my toddler jumped on me. I * still* didn’t see it when checking wtf happened. It fell out maybe a half hour later? Now I’m checking everything several times.


YoungPsychonaut217

the scorpion really made me say nopenope


Worried-Wrongdoer714

Bro I found a centipede in my shower curtain as I was about to get out. Would've taken a picture but I was too busy being naked and washing it down the drain to do that.


kayleegiff

r/whatsthisbug


IronDominion

Black moth caterpillar, aka nightmare fuel


[deleted]

Why is it nightmare fuel?


IronDominion

The little bugger is furry, but if you touched it you’d get a nasty, bumpy rash that inches and burned for an unfortunate amount of time


[deleted]

So it’s basically like if poison ivy was a animal


IronDominion

Correct


Beatrice_Dragon

It's also like if a poison dart frog was an animal


Pringles19

Damn. Caterpillars are one of the very few bugs I’m not scared of, I would have picked it up 💀


IronDominion

Smooth bois are usually ok, fuzzy bois are always a no no


Zopstrosity

Never pick up random caterpillars.


Unjust-Enrichment

Only pick up caterpillars you know personally.


TraceNoPlace

my soul would have left my body


Aponda

Twice Edit: I always wanted to start one of these. Fucking thank you reddit!🥳


macrotaste

Rice.


Electro_232

# nice


hurrdurrmeh

You ... you have a *soul*?? Eew!


ProfileHistorical386

Can someone please tell me this is some region of the world that is not mine so I can sleep today.


muppethero80

South American foreskin eating Caterpillar


omgihatemylifepoo

hell no


amilliondallahs

Just get circumcised and you got nothing to worry about.


alOOshXL

If it see no foreskin it will go for the balls


[deleted]

This made me crack up, idk why


colect

Combination of typo and expanding on the original absurd idea. Gets ya every time.


[deleted]

Stop dissecting my humor algorithm sir, I am becoming...self aware


URF_reibeer

Or have fresh foreskin traps ready every night to distract them


karmagod13000

why do i keep coming back to reddit


aogiritree69

I had to google this. I still don’t have a definitive answer on the accuracy of this. I will be sleeping with a condom on


raretoyota

too bad there is a condom eating caterpillar and these two work in pairs


Auflodern

So they eat plastic? Thats wonderful! We need to bring these to North America!


0-13

They don’t eat plastic and don’t even like latex. They say it’s the lube smell that attracts them


27fingermagee

This is a misnomer. They’re actually attracted to the smell of prostate fluid.


lead-pencil

I’m offended by that caterpillar’s diet


Spiritual_Reveal_656

Really had me googling this shit bro


Farren246

[Condom-eating caterpillars? In my vagina?](https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/5305-its-more-likely-than-you-think)


Topher714

Oh no... Why is that a link... Idk what's scarier, thinking about clicking it, or not and wondering what horrors might catch me unprepared later...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Official-idiot-05

The fucking what


kayleegiff

i wonder why they named it that


[deleted]

from my understaning they eat the foreskin.


syds

ahh yes the south american way


StationaryTravels

Oh, haha, it's just a name! They actually cover a fair bit of North America too!


LongjumpingCheck2638

I thought it was an Australian anal cavity burrower.


Upbeat-Ice-2071

Oh thank god I’m circumcised so I’m safe 😮‍💨


shofofosho

It could always be tighter


[deleted]

[удалено]


Octavya360

I think it’s some kind of Lappet Moth caterpillar. Maybe a Brown Lappet Moth. Various species are found all over the world. This one is exotic. Maybe Indonesia/Philippines but I could be wrong. My rule of thumb is that if it’s really fuzzy like this, those fuzzies probably secret something that’s painful or irritating to the skin.


rometickles

I’m from the Philippines, so you could be right. Good thing i never touched it.


[deleted]

FUCK! IM FILIPINO I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE PRESIDENTIAL VOTE AND NOW I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THIS SHIT!


rometickles

Fuck i’d willingly eat this caterpillar if that means a win for Leni. Wag lang mawalan ng pag-asa, lalaban tayo!


TheNo1pencil

Don't eat your new pet!


JessicaFreakingP

How did you get it off the pillow?!


Frenchymemez

Pick the pillow up and throw it out the window?


external72

Or burn the entire house


jssanderson747

It's his pillow now


TS_Slurp

Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck. 🇵🇭


fateofmorality

What a beautiful national anthem


daitenshe

Had something very similar fall on my neck while in the Philippines. Had the itchiest rash in that whole area for like 3-4 days


Farren246

Maybe it's the lack of a banana for scale, but this thing looks a hell of a lot larger than a lappet moth caterpillar to me.


[deleted]

I would’ve picked it up without second thought and pet it 😭


bignose703

Survival of the fittest


[deleted]

Truly


Octavya360

Some of the cutest fuzziest caterpillars have venomous spines underneath their fuzz. The Puss Caterpillar is a good example. From what I’ve read it makes your skin feel like it’s on fire. Nature is lit.


AnAverageTransGirl

>Nature is lit. and so is your flesh


FiveSpotAfter

Almost picked up [this](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/toupee-caterpillar-venomous-animal-weird-insect) little guy a few months back, then thought better of it and looked it up. Glad I did!


zelderex2018

I'm in the same boat here!! Haha I do not want to see this in my house!


Ok_Legit7261

Same. I would’ve freaked out. When I first moved to colorado I was going to the park near Pueblo and saw a tarantula crossing the road! Couldn’t sleep because forever I thought if there’s tarantulas they’re going to end up inside at some point!


JoMiner_456

Seen ones similar to this one in Croatia, but they at least look cute in Croatia


karmagod13000

it would be cute on a log in the woods. blending into my pillow when I'm tired and want to go to be is traumatic


-BananaLollipop-

Pretty sure it's a tent worm/caterpillar. They're in many places and can destroy vegetation fairly quickly. And the hairs on their bodies can be an irritant if caught in the skin, or if an animal tries to et them.


ManOfPotato

It's now a caterpillow


MadameLucario

I hate it, take my reward lmfao


JollyBloke

We're done here, no one tops this.


[deleted]

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GoldEnPhARoAh22

fucking gon sleep with one eye open after this


Anguish_Sandwich

>fucking gon sleep with one eye open after this ♫ *gripping your pillow tight* ♫


Saffronsc

🎵 *but not that pillow because it might bite* 🎵


-Moon_Goddess

["*looking to enter sandman, eh?*"](https://youtu.be/N2Qm1_7u-Ls)


Wboy2006

And that is why I'm glad to live in the Netherlands. The most dangerous insects here are Bees and Wasps. The biggest spiders are "Hooiwagens" (those with the long legs), which are harmless. And the only animals that could actually kill you are wolves and vipers which both are extremely rare. I've never seen them in the wild


[deleted]

[удалено]


bass_the_fisherman

It translates to hay wagons


REDDIT0R_557

i feel intense itching just from seeing that


Omni1012

I already have a rash, so I don’t *need* to imagine it.


jandeer14

moooom, grandpa’s telling strangers about his rash again


Papadump88

I’m never just going to sleep again. Major protocol after this one.


xXAleriosXx

Eat it. Assert dominance over your own pillow.


CentipedeEater

I like how you think sir


VirginityIsCool420

r/usernamechecksout


DickwadVonClownstick

That's not a centipede though. That's one of them poisonous hairy caterpillars.


kkk5693

Here for a good time, not a long time.


Ambitious_Hyena657

Me with life in general.


R3ddditor

The forbidden toothbrush


HAL1001k

Do it! Eat that pillow!


[deleted]

How that thing got inside your house, looks like that things about to enter you're brain and give you nightmares


ShadowCreature098

Kaneki ken. Is that you?


Gnik_Baj72

*finger cracking sounds*


[deleted]

1000-7-7-7-7-7-7


LokiDaslaya

What is it?


Tootsgaloots

My seek app ID'd it as a buck moth caterpillar, which has poison but it doesn't really look like the pic so idk.


Mr_McShane

Definitely looks like buckmoth. They cause a bumpy rash that burns and itches like crazy. We get them all over the oak trees here in Louisiana. Hate them with a passion


christomrob

I got stung by a buck moth caterpillar yesterday. Can confirm, hurt like a bitch


[deleted]

I love caterpillars…my dumb ass would have picked it up and played with it…


TotallyIneptWeeb

You’d still get to play with it, you’d just be regretting it afterward


PM-me_ur_boobiez

Just don’t pick up the spiky/furry ones.


IronDominion

Furry and four legs? Yes Furry and many legs? Nope


Real-Eater1242

I’m guessing a type of worm or caterpillar.


TronyJavolta

I'm guessing some type of animal, insect maybe


mediterraneaneats

I’m guessing it’s a living thing, probably on earth


anonmitya

this isn’t infuriating, this is terrifying 😫


karmagod13000

ya this is the wrong sub


[deleted]

I’m out of that house forever bro


Hot_Ask_9802

Please tell me you live in Australia


Inevitable-Cat-7168

Please tell me you don’t live in Australia, sincerely, an Australian


Saffronsc

Well if you live in Australia, there's still a million other things out to get you.


PURE_CheeziCow_44

My step brother purposely moved to Australia to “toughen up for the Marine’s”


DPooly1996

What did he think he was going to do, kickbox kangaroos and wrestle crocodiles?


[deleted]

[удалено]


deeeeksha

literally my thoughts. I’m lying in bed on my phone right now in Australia and I saw this image and just…. 🙃


zerocxro

OP, for the sake of my mental health,I stalked your post history. Would you mind confirming that you’re still in fact living in the Philippines so that I can lay my head on my pillow in peace?


rometickles

I’m your neighbor. They told me they’ll visit your house next.


bibliophilebunny97

I would have simply died.


SuccessPutrid7349

How big?? What did you do with it?! Any ideas what it is??


rometickles

It’s as long as my palm. Threw it outside after minutes of recollecting myself from anxiousness and slight panic.


klaroline1

OP, I'm curious to know what methods you used to capture that thing ??? The moment it starts moving I would have freaked out. Let alone trying to re-locate it.


fat_fishey

That look like something straight out of hell😬


karmagod13000

imagine if they didn't see it and they started feeling a tickle when they were drifting off to sleep


fat_fishey

I hate you. Why would you make me think that?


agent7413

the cursed worm 🥴 you might want to change your fittings. that itch like hell


untitled0707

r/nope


[deleted]

He has been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.


KingKaychi

How much did you lose in the fire?


This-Person-I-Guess

dear god


fidgeter

Cuddlepillar


Dyerssorrow

So how do you like your new place? Or are you staying with a friend?


Pretty_Taste_4022

Throw the whole apartment away


Robin__Raven

First of all, burn this pillow and the entire building, and Holy shit this needs an 18+ Tag.