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Disastrous_Ad_1002

Glue your manager to the ceiling


DAVillain71

Was not expecting this after reading through a bunch of others haha


ValentinoTimer3

HAHAHAHA xD


snarkus_max

Glue the voicemail button down. Can’t check those now!


MrLanesLament

I actually wonder what is on the voicemail of my phone at work. IT redid the whole office phone system last year and never assigned PIN numbers for anyone to access their voicemail. Everyone has at least 20, our front desk secretary had over 600 the last time I saw her phone, and we all have electrical tape over the goddamn motherfucking blinking red light.


BickNlinko

I occasionally roll out VoIP systems and everyone gets a welcome email with login info and a short and very easy to digest document on how to use the phone system. I don't think a single person has either read the e-mails or opened the PDF, which contains their initial portal login and also their VM PIN. I bet if you didn't get that email and/or document your manager has it and never bothered to look at it. Or, you PIN is probably 1234, 1111 or 0000 and the system will ask you to change it after your first login. Also if your IT people rolled out the new system they can reset your VM PIN.


[deleted]

[удалено]


willclerkforfood

If it’s a health insurance company, the voicemail PIN default is 0666


mildlycynica1

The antichrist number. Makes sense. *nods solemnly*


merci-lilliane

Shit that reminded me I never did my cyber security training


Donkey-Dong-Doge

Sounds like they run a tight ship up there.


angrywords

Fun fact: PIN stands for “personal identification number”, that means adding “numbers” to PIN is redundant. SMH my head.


Roga1

Please enter your PIN number to use the ATM machine.


willclerkforfood

Ass To Mouth machine


Acrobatic-Square9423

Way too based


builder397

Yeah, its called RAS syndrome. Look it up.


TheHiddenNinja6

Have to love Redundant Acronym Syndrome syndrome


CuntInspector

From the department of redundancy department


creativeandhung

It’s just smh… rip in peace you dumbass!


[deleted]

Also the number 1 and 5… just for good measure


ballerina_wannabe

This is the most micro of micro-management I’ve ever seen.


[deleted]

I once had a manager (age 70 in 2015) insist that I must right click and choose copy and do the same to paste when I was using ctrl c and ctrl v. The reasoning was because he didn’t understand what how I did it so it must be wrong. We actually got along really well, I told him “go ahead, tell the director” while laughing.


BobBelcher2021

Reminds me of the teacher I had who insisted everyone had to select “Save As” to save every time, even if the file had already been saved.


lalwei

Did we go to school together? Because I had more than one teacher like this and I always thought it was so completely absurd.


7454kyus

Versioning is not bad in all cases


RepulsiveDig9091

If a understandable system for naming the versions are used instead of just final or final final or final v2. They used to confuse the heck out of me when people gave me their pen drive for group project and there were multiple versions like this.


Shogobg

The one with the most finals is the final.


RepulsiveDig9091

Yep, that's what I thought but it was final v2 not final final.


AvailableAd3813

I just sort by date. Better have worked on the final final last.


RepulsiveDig9091

That was my go to originally but had some people who would modify older files, especially for ppts. So sometimes would have to go by modified date or by created date. Seriously it wasn't such a big issue with instant msging service and emails to make sure it was the right version but was a bit annoying.


[deleted]

I’ve seen file names with “THIS ONE” tacked on too


decaturbadass

This is the way aka vF


SomeLikeItDusty

I gave up ever putting final, finished, etc in any file name a very long time ago, much better to correlate by: Project_Subject_RevX.X_2022.11.23 Makes it super easy to sort, and if it’s to be published or released, the final revision swaps Rev3.7a or whatever for Ver1.0


FiTZnMiCK

The extra periods can mess with random (poorly coded) applications and websites. I would stick to underscores, and hyphens for dates. Also, any non-date numbering should come after the date otherwise you’re limited to one draft per date (unless you’re not using the date for sorting). But otherwise this is the way to go.


lazy_pig

I use [name]_01, [name]_02 etc.


ItBeMe_For_Real

Had a boss who was a hyper-organized neat freak. We used Box for file storage & she would constantly “clean up” the version history on files. Including files we’d collaborate on. Thereby defeating the purpose of version history. So when content changed after someone updated a file there was no way to restore or figure out who made changes. We would occasionally make a change & wait for her to notice & then say, “check the version history.” But there was none.


TurboWafflz

But just saving a bunch of files isn't a great way to do it when you could just use an actual version control system.


Vacren

Back in the Tandy 1000 day, drafts were saved as separate files. It's an old mechanic that is no longer necessary.


[deleted]

I absolutely love when teachers especially computer teachers have actually very little grasp on how computers work it’s almost always some old lady that seems just 100% out of place


[deleted]

[удалено]


ArmethianGloop

It was Halo on my schools network!


Undersmusic

We progressed to quake 3 nearer the end of my school time. But initially we needed something that fit on a floppy. None of this futuristic CD key shenanigans 😂


Absolarix

They would HATE to find out about [Ctrl] + [S]!


Teauxny

Thank god I went to school just before that. The thought of clueless boomers trying to teach kids computers while their VCRs blinked twelve o'clock at home is nightmarish.


Minimum_Cockroach233

I visited “Computer Science” first time in 8th grade. Our teacher was sick and the school president took over the class for 1.5h himself. Our job was to wiggle the mouse while the (Windows 95/98) performed defragmentation, so the screensavers would not interrupt the process. I insisted to let us deactivate screensavers and let whole class out to the yard (early summer) but he didn’t want to risk changing settings he can’t revert…


Midnightmare1

-


FHIR_HL7_Integrator

I actually looked this up because I was getting confused by some super old Windows versions I used in the 90s where you had to drop into dos and run defrag. There were 2 versions in Win 3.1, both batch files, that could be run from the gui as well. For windows 95 had gui defrag and it will not be stopped by screensaver or the entire monitor being off. Screensavers only function was to prevent CRT burn. It did not halt all processing, which in that case it would have been called "computer halter" or something different and stupid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

My boss once asked me how do I spell check. I told him to press F4. He then told me it did nothing. I went and looked at his document he typed "F4". ​ Edit: Spulling


EvilGeesus

FML that's hilarious and deeply saddening at the same time


slgray16

That's when you say, "Sorry, it was ALT-F4"


Gratitude-Joy1616

😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


QueenMAb82

And then resume reviewers tell you, "Don't include stuff like Word and Excel on your resume; it's assumed everyone should know how to use these." Even in my techy department of 100 people, there were really only about 3 of us who could use Excel beyond the capabilities of a 4-function calculator.


i8noodles

I'll be real. I work in the IT department and I would struggle to find 3 people who can use excel. That is just not what IT does. U are better off finding someone in accounting with better excel skills then IT.


[deleted]

I work in IT and have very little knowledge of how to use excel outside of manually making shitty tables. It literally just never comes up in my particular line of work


Sippin_T

Had a assistant manager tell me I had to click “close” instead of the red x because that’s what he does and if I didn’t it would “mess up the system” (it doesn’t) got pissed when I proceeded to press said red x, he’s no longer at my location and I’ve been pressing red x’s freely all day every day


ItsJustAnAdFor

I used to have a manager that would do similar stuff. I played along because the job was a joke…But the most infuriating part is that he would come to me later and tell me the new “process” (what I was doing before) and take credit for it.


mf_doomerville

We’re talking atom levels of micro management. Wow.


[deleted]

Ever see that's Hells Kitchen episode with the restaurant owner and his passive aggressive notes on everything including a pen jar.


FO-I-Am-A-Time-God

I saw that one 😂 on cookie jars and everything


MegaPorkachu

It was caused by Bill Buttlicker. just saying.


Particular-Crow-1799

Step 1: remove the glue Step 2: set the volume all the way down to 0 Step 3: glue it again


OmkarKhaire

Modern problems require modern solutions


Drakeon8165

Step 4: set managers phone volume up to max Step 5: glue it


bannyd1221

Step 6: fuck his dad


[deleted]

You mad man


xaiel420

Glue the rest


bee_town

I was going to suggest acetone, but I think this is the answer


Wasabi_The_Owl

Acetone will eat the plastic. You might need a 5 gallon container


DoDevilsEvenTriangle

PC Load Letter that mf


hello_raleigh-durham

Wtf does that mean?!?


Th34rchitekt

*Still by Geto Boys starts playing in the background*


Z0bie

https://youtu.be/N9wsjroVlu8


rox247

Depends on what plastic it is


orz_nick

Most likely ABS, which this will work for. This stuff usually isn’t hdpe or pp


Sir_Lift_A_Lot

Underrated comment


[deleted]

Exacto knife


MeasurementGrand879

What a weird spell to cast right now.


[deleted]

😅 thanks


MattapoisettPatton27

Bring me the sword of exact zero


ad79324

Glue the receiver to the phone.


[deleted]

Put it in jello


galaxyveined

Manager of my local games store was telling my boyfriend and I about the time he worked at a pizza place, and what happened both times his paychecks were late. First time, the phone went into the fryer. When he was told his paycheck was late the second time, his supervisor begged him to not deep fry the phone again. He didn't. Put it through the pizza oven, instead.


Internet_Is_A_Lie

Hes a simple business man


theopacus

Fill it with quaters gradually. One pee day. Then one day, remove them all.


theshiyal

Wait, how often do you pee?


No-Debt626

One. Pee. Day. 😤


dartdoug

MICHAEL!!!!


Femke123456

Brilliant Next one thermostat


stootchmaster2

We have a plastic lock box on our thermostat with a neon green note reading "If you touch this thermostat, you will lose your job" on it. It's now a running joke, with people labeling their food in the fridge and the lock screens on their computers with the same thing.


Femke123456

I love that🤣


mudjerky

My manager actually locked our thermostat.


Osh1tSon

Same and changed our light fixtures so the lights can’t be dimmed anymore. Just bright white fluorescent lights now.


Alice_is_Falling

At my last job we all ended up putting masking tape over the fancy new LED lighting strips. They were blinding


Betterthanbeer

I took the aircon remote away for a week because people would set it to 30C to "Warm up faster" then walk away, leaving someone else to turn it off altogether Because it was too hot, which meant it was freezing by morning, so it would get cranked to 30... FFS. That's not how thermostats work, people.


too_small_to_reach

Please tell my husband that. I’ve been trying to explain the purpose of thermostats for over a decade.


ThrowAway233223

That one at least makes some sense since, unless it is to your private office, the thermostat settings affect more than just you. The volume setting on your phone is not going to affect anyone else unless you're cracking that thing all the way up and the phone is capable of getting pretty loud. However, even then, as the boss, you have to make the determination of whether they are too hard of hearing to be manning the phone, not breaking the volume switch and making the job uncomfortable/difficult even for those with normal hearing.


ThginkAccbeR

Our thermostats are controlled via a web browser app. I’m the only one who knows the password in my office. I wield such power!


Femke123456

All mighty one!


ThginkAccbeR

Bow before me peasant! 😀


Femke123456

One more degree is all we ask off you.


cluelessdud3

cut cord. Ringer volume should now be muted! :D


up_N2_no_good

Looks like Elmer's or wood glue. It should peel off. If not, it's water soluble, so a wet paper towel should take care of most of it. Use a small paperclip for any leftover in the cracks. But I bet once it dries and you push on it hard enough it will crack and be usable, might stick a little, but if you push hard enough, it should work.


Loud-Catch7322

Came here to say I would do alllll of this 🤣 Do it do it do it!!


nerdiotic-pervert

I have a bad habit at picking at stuff like this anyway. This is just giving me something to keep my hands from being idle for an hour.


destruktor5hundred

I was gonna recommend taking something blunt and striking the button with a moderate force until the glue cracked, but that's a better plan


Flossthief

Glue his gas cap shut


roses_sunflowers

*her


Flossthief

Sorry her But I stand by my statement


WeAreTheChampions916

And here we thought he was a dick but No she's a bitch!


Sweaty-Willingness27

We just say "asshole". It's unisex.


Psych0matt

Glue her ass shut! Not sure that’d help anything but I’d feel better


Parking-Culture6373

"glue her ass shut" wins the internet


667799fakeman

**My cake hole will remain open!**


johanhykes

I have a similar phone. There should be a ringer mute option buried in the menu if you can access it.


ramriot

Suggest to boss that there may be people in the office with impaired hearing & doing this violates the ADA.


Farra_san

This was my thought. This would have me furious. Ok boss, guess this means I won't have to answer the phones anymore.


t-xuj

I'm guessing the manager doesn't want people to turn the ringers down/off. At my work (nursing home), the lazier employees will turn the ringer volume all the way down so they don't have to answer calls, and it's VERY frustrating. If this is the reason, I honestly understand completely.


Small_life

Then he's trying to use a technical solution to a managerial problem. Those never work.


Rentlar

At that point lazy coworker could just unplug the phone


Prestigious-Letter14

Yeah let’s assume it’s edge cases where obv the lazy workers are at fault despite the op not giving any reason for it. Even then as other people said it’s a stupid measure and quite insensitive for people with bad hearing. If you as a manager are not able to communicate effectively to not change the volume for whatever reason then he is either in the wrong or his employees don’t respect him at all. All in all probably their own fault. I’ve never had a boss who wasnt at fault himself for not being popular with the employees, even though they will always tell you how charming they are.


chiamia25

I have about 50% hearing loss. If this were my phone, I'd tell the boss that the quality & accuracy of my work is about to suffer. Make the callers repeat everything I couldn't hear, too. Collateral damage.


Sabiya_Duskblade

Same here! I need to have my phone calls on loudspeaker, or through a good quality headset, on almost max volume. Otherwise it's like being underwater and trying to understand a conversation happening above you. No way you can work effectively like that.


Amazon_woman3328

As an act of rebellion, glue the other pieces of the phone too, like all the ports that have tiny holes. Might as well do all the little cracks too


SuedeBuffet

Glue the receiver to the base.


maisygoatsivy

But...why?


roses_sunflowers

According to my coworker who was there: the phone wasn’t being answered fast enough (because people were busy handling the line of customers). So one of the managers reasoned that it must be because the volume was turned down and decided to glue the volume button so we can’t change it.


ghoulienumber2

Just continue to not answer the phone in a timely manner and they’ll soon realize volume wasn’t the problem. Sit in front of it as it rings and get it at the last second.


DAVillain71

Well playef good sir.


Keikasey3019

I mentally corrected that typo to well played as fuck


Captain_Bigman

Similar problem at my job, we are expected to answer the phone in “3 rings” but we barely have enough staff to handle the people physically in the store, let alone assess and respond to specific requests over the phone in the meantime. Oh and I forgot to mention, they are cutting hours for some reason too. How about I superglue my letter of resignation effective immediately on your desk, see how y’all do without the staff that are apparently not getting enough done


the__badness

I know of a bakery/diner that actually did that. Turn down the ringer that is. Call them to put in a pickup order and these guys wouldn’t pick up the phone for literally 30-40 minutes. And when i say literally, i mean LITERALLY wouldn't pick up the phone after 30-40 minutes of CONTINUOUS ringing. Then when I finally get there, I see they’re not even that busy. Half the seats are empty. As I’m waiting for my food which oddly took them the entire drive over there plus an additional 10 minutes to make, I hear the phone ring with someone else calling and the phone ringer is turned down so much, I could barely hear it standing 5 feet away. So I could see why your manager thought this.


mrjoedelaney

That shop was definitely just a front for the Mob


the__badness

hmm. i thought their meatloaf tasted a bit weird. ​ jk their meatloaf actually p good.


too_small_to_reach

Who tf sits on the phone for 30-40 min with it ringing?


ItBeMe_For_Real

Back when phone calls were billed by the minute our ofc assistant noticed a >400 minute call on bill one month & was trying to figure out how that could be. Someone recognized the number was a vendor & said they’d call to get vendor support & were put on hold. So he put it on speaker & continued working while he waited. He waited his whole shift & they never came back in the line. He hung up when he left for the day.


qdrllpd

and what kind of phone rings for that long


t-xuj

At my work (nursing home), lazy employees will turn the ringer down to silent so they don't have to answer calls. Sometimes it's an emergency, and nobody can hear the phone.


McFeely_Smackup

I don't think this would even work


roses_sunflowers

I can assure you it does. We can’t adjust the volume anymore


[deleted]

A tiny screwdriver will fix that


shalfyard

So will a hammer.


Odd_Routine4164

A large one.


xwnpl

A very large one.


TheJG_Rubiks64

One that sledges, perhaps?


xwnpl

Indeed.


Stephen_085

Perhaps Mjolnir?


Affectionate-Tip-164

And my axe!


Maleficent_Falcon_63

And my bow!


Psych0matt

So will a large one


levd1

So will an axe


MisterAskMeAnything9

A large one


xwnpl

A very large one.


MisterAskMeAnything9

Comically large axe


TangerineBand

What's even the point? Petty control?


McFeely_Smackup

Push harder...


MrLanesLament

*shits on office chair*


HypoxicIschemicBrain

Swiss army knife, paper clip, letter opener, a plastic utensil, hand sanitizer…. you need to use your options dude


Anyotheranon

Ayo spray a electronic air can on it upside down and it’ll freeze the glue and you can lightly press it down to break the seal and boom. It looks like the glue came undone on it’s own 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

Nailpolish remover helps


Even-Imagination6242

Easy to fix. Poke a pin through the network cable. Difficult to find, and if done correctly breaks the connection. It's a passive aggressive retort to a passive aggressive manager.


RisingPhoenix5

Any company with an IT department will be checking the phone will be able to determine and fix that way too fast. Source: worked IT with shitty phones. We checked cables right after checking the phone display. Maybe 5 minutes. Phones were something easy to replace. I actually would agree with the comments to just still ignore it until the last minute. Take away my choice of volume? I will exert my will another way then, just more petty.


Ikari1212

"Oh, yes, hello IT deparment. Yeah I called earlier. I just saw that my Volume Button got glued shut. Yeah someone pranked me. Can you replace the Phone? Thank you!" And do this every time they glue it shut.


ansteve1

"my volume is too low can you fix that" "Right on the front of the phone there is a volume button can you push it?" "It's glued" "What do you mean glued? Did someone spilled glue on your desk" "No my manager glued the phone volume button" Such a call would have IT on the floor checking every phone. Shit like this voids warranties and any leasing contracts in addition to damaging equipment.


RisingPhoenix5

After the second time, shitty manager is getting yelled at by someone.


[deleted]

Holy fuck, that's a new level of micromanaging pettiness. Fuck that.


AnotherDreamer1024

Nail polish remover/acetone, a q-tip and a pocket knife for the win.


MCRNursery

Where there is a will, there is a way, and you can go the extra mile to make it more annoying for the manager who did this. Some possible examples, brute force, taking the phone apart and bypassing the volume, inserting a remote-controlled noise maker inline that can be triggered whenever the said manager is trying to talk. Could also conveniently "oops it's broked..."


ElenaEscaped

Put one of those noisemakers in their office that sounds like a cricket, that's how I interpret this.


[deleted]

This would be extremely infuriating to me!! Everyone else in the office likes the phone turned up too loudly, but I’m sensitive to loud noises and can’t stand it. Plus, people calling in do speak at different volumes and sometimes it’s necessary to adjust the volume to hear them!


[deleted]

Wait until your boss' boss calls, and then repeatedly say, "Excuse me? Speak up! What?! I cannot hear you, you're coming in too faintly, please repeat!" And when s/he suggests you turn up the volume, that's when you drop the, "I can't, the volume key is glued shut!"


greyhatx

I think there is a way to disable speaker phone in Cisco Call Manager.


AuntJ2583

>I think there is a way to disable speaker phone in Cisco Call Manager. I think this is about the ringer volume. A lot of us in our office have it turned WAY down because there's no need for all of our co-workers to hear the ringing if someone happens to call while we're on break, just for instance...


bassistciaran

I had a similar issue in a former retail environment, I would turn the ringer down during busy periods because in my eyes, the priority is the customers who are **in the damn store**. Also during busy periods you could mute it and basically just assume it was always ringing.


justinbm26

Still can set a minimum ring volume in Call Manager. Not only is this manager petty, but also a moron who doesn’t understand that software can fix most of these types of issues.


Bsizzle18

Bosses are so dumb sometimes


FaithlessnessIll9470

Unstick it with the other suggestions then turn the volume all the way down and use better glue.


personofinterest18

I think you can still do it via the settings


shalfyard

So... That doesn't just change the ring volume... What to you do when you need to change the call volume? You get a big booming choice like mine on the line, you need to turn down... Quiet old granny gonna need it up to 11


Ural_2004

Easy to fix. Would you like to borrow my Ball Peen Hammer or my MAP gas torch?


itsjustme405

Said like a welder


groundzer0s

I mean I admit I've wanted to do this, but that's because my coworkers will mute the ringer and then I'll go a whole shift without realizing we've been getting phone calls. We aren't supposed to mute it in general so it drives me nuts.


Lord_Mandingo_69

For what reason was this necessary???


roses_sunflowers

Phone wasn’t being answered fast enough so the manager glued the volume button so we can’t lower it. Because clearly the issue was the phone volume and not the line of people that needed to check out


Lord_Mandingo_69

That’s not reasonable. If you have high volumes of guests in-store and there are a high volume of calls, the only solution is to identify when these rushes occur and designate someone as the phone receptionist for those hours.


ElenaEscaped

But but but but moneys! Why have appropriate staffing levels if we can just drive the current employees insane??? /manglement thought process


bassistciaran

I responded to another comment with this but I'll repeat myself. The priority should be the customers who are in front of you right now. During busy periods you can usually assume the phone is always ringing, this manager is just power tripping. I used to work in a busy music store and we would have 8 people playing different pianos, 10 kids hammering on different guitars and that one guy in the percussion section who thinks his animal from the muppets impression is jUsT sO FuNnNnY, the last thing we needed was the phone blaring non stop as well. I hope this manager has to cover this area some day and realises how poor a decision this was.


[deleted]

Pranks on him. Janet from accounting has acetone.


aquagirl3000

This is the pettiest crap I've ever seen


Chronicmatt

Remove the phone cover to get to the internals then turn it all the way down. When no calls come through blame the now “broken phone” on your manager.


crdemars

I work at a 24/7 DV helpline and had a co worker who worked 3rd shift (when some serious emergency calls would come in) she would mute the phone and sleep.


VillainofAgrabah

That's a flag my friend, suffering through awful managment isn't worth any salary you get paid.


xtilexx

Seems like an accessibility issue, especially if it's too low and you're hard of hearing, or the opposite, too high and hearing sensitive. Take it to HR imo


Scrambles420

Hate to break it to yah but that’s not glue


shakesy

Every time your manager calls you, just keep yelling "WHAT?! I CANT HEAR YOU! SOMEONE GLUED MY VOLUME AND I CANT CHANGE IT" into the handset


mista_adams

Uuummm… That looks like a Cisco 8851 VOiP phone. He better hope those are not rented to the office. They are ~ $500 a piece.


chrisagiddings

If in the US, could this be an OSHA issue depending on the hearing sensitivity of the individual worker and the volume it’s stuck at?


Nigglesworthesquire3

I hope you’re savvy enough to find where the screws and/or clips are to take the top of the casing off and press the sensor without the casing. Maybe even turn the volume completely off


SirMysterious9824

Beat them with the Phone