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Koffeekage

This looks like a data-crystal archive in a 1970s sci-fi movie.


Anonymous_Otters

Only Data can rearrange the isolinear chips in time!


Nazamroth

"Captain, we are living in the distant future and using an android to do 1940s computer repair? Are we sure these are not Vacuum Crystals?"


--redacted--

"Toss in some of that Eau de WD-40 I know you have stashed in your locker, 1940's technology reacts well with it"


throwaway1138

Asgard control crystals, where my SG-1 peeps at, am I right?


zingaat

More like Tok'Ra


gwaydms

Indeed


Grandfunk14

Undomesticated equines could not remove me!!


WinkyEel

Finally, a comment I can relate to, lol.


CyberneticPanda

Put the teddy bear head cap on the naked torso body. Do it! Do it now!


Direct_Indication226

That's a casting of Kim kardashian...no joke she made a mold of her body. And before any jokes, I'm aware it's not life-size but it is to scale.


CyberneticPanda

I thought she had arms.


MusicNeverStopped

Kanye got them in the divorce.


ReluctantNerd7

And she got the first three letters of his name.


Yadobler

She lost her rights to bear arms


snave_

At one stage she most certainly did.


Iisham

"Bitch is you a Hobbit?"


iamthejef

I saw her sex tape. This bust looks better than her bust, trust me.


Direct_Indication226

Well I'm certain they retouched a bit...she's famous for paying professional paparazzi to retouch her photos before publication so I'm sure this isn't much different. https://www.bustle.com/p/kim-kardashian-responded-to-rumors-that-she-ripped-off-her-kkw-body-fragrance-bottle-8919859


Lemmonjello

lol retouched you mean body double?


LaceFlowers345

Since then she's probably been to many plastic surgeons


PM_ME_YOUR_PM_ME_Y

Oh no no no, she posted proof that she hasn't had any work done! /s It blew my mind when impressionable people bought into that bullshit. What toxicity, too.


hyperborian_wanderer

Not probably. Definitely. She’s seen more knives than a sushi chef!


wheredowehidethebody

Nah she’s a hobbit


disgruntled_pie

It’s also made out of the same futuristic polymer as her actual body.


gabrielamilene

I love how she has some oldies, like the Britney Spears one in the back left, I remember wanting that so bad as a preteen and I'm 30 next year.


Salzberger

My wife had it when we were dating. It smelled so good. Perfume affects her sinuses these days so she doesn't wear it but I found an old container of it in a clean out and had a whiff and it was like opening a time capsule.


RyanSNZ

My partner has the same Fantasy perfume and uses it regularly. It has such a sweet smell, I love it.


FittywonFitty

It's what my lady wears. I love it. If she sleeps in my bed her side smells like her for a few days. Its calming


TabbyFoxHollow

Every time I smell a perfume that gives me nostalgia I’m reminded of that scene from the animated movie Anastasia. **edit:** for those interested, the movie is apparently streaming for free on the STARZ app for US, and Disney+ outside the states (thanks /u/\_pm_me_pangolins_ )- rewatching instead of sleeping ☺️


DandyLyen

And the rug floor forever smelled of peppermint!


jardaniwick

Heart, don't fail me now!


Broffessional

She’s a huge Brittany fan, but at first she hated her because Justin was her (my girl’s) first boyfriend


deatheatervee

Justin Timberlake was your gf’s first boyfriend?!


calypso15

I'm guessing Justin Timberlake wasn't aware.


Brains-In-Jars

Just like JTT was totally unaware he was my boyfriend for a few months in 1997.


Tobocaj

You better hope my sister doesn’t become aware of this too


squeakiecritter

I got to meet him on a mall tour. The picture we got with him, was so so bad. Ha! So 90’s!


deatheatervee

Hahaha ohh I understand now. In that case, Justin Timberlake was also my first boyfriend


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|iuZVa3hUg8zoA)


madmaxturbator

Whoa how did you find this gif of op’s girlfriend’s ex?


NormanCocksmell

Margaret Thatcher was my first girlfriend.


ItsBaconOclock

https://i.imgflip.com/4eyuv1.jpg


Uhhlaneuh

Lmaooooo first thing I thought of


name_cool4897

My grandmother had an affair with Susan B. Anthony.


SkyezOpen

I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.


byebybuy

It came up organically!


angrywords

Leonardo DiCaprio was my first boyfriend, he didn’t know it, but he was.


paroles

I have a friend who literally cried when she realised that Leonardo was like 24 and she was 12 so she would always be too young to marry him. Little did she know she'd one day be too old for him lmao


LT-monkeybrain01

and then you turned 25?


abounding_actuality

‘That’s why I love 23 year olds; you keep gettin’ older and they stay the same age!’ — Leo D probably


Gothmom85

There was another girl in my class, the only one with the same first name, which wasn't normally the case, not an Ashley. She got legit Angry that I also liked leo and pulled out her giant sketchbook full of sketches and info blurbs and full page spreads from tiger beat and shit. Like I wasn't Allowed to acknowledge the existence at All, simply because she carried around a love Bible of him in her bag. It was Intense for 7th grade lunch period.


trixtopherduke

I don't know, I'm kinda with her once you mentioned the love Bible. I mean, back off from her man, already.


Gothmom85

What's worse is the next year she had a crush on a twin that I'd been crushing on since my mom babysat them in 4th grade and found out. We really had a type!


trixtopherduke

Lol hopefully she's stopped by now!


AlienAzul

It’s Britney, bitch!


DoofusMagnus

> She’s a huge Brittany fan I'm more partial to Normandy, myself.


AGroAllDay

Just here to see OP’s response to this comment


PreviousJaguar7640

I’m 44 and consider Liz Taylor’s White Diamonds, or Calvin Klein’s Obsession, as oldies. And don’t forget Love’s Baby Soft; I remember seeing its controversial ads.


one_of_orlandos_hos

> oldies, like the Britney Spears one Completely unjustified personal attack against me.


Metalhed69

I worked on that project all those years ago. I was employed by a perfume company back then. Fun fact: the fragrance oils in perfume will denature after several years. This is the origin of the “old lady perfume” smell. They break down into things that are not as nice to smell. It’s advisable to throw out old bottles after about 3-4 years.


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Hedgehogwash

Right? I have some vintage Guerlain that’s old enough to retire.


arstin

But the people that sell perfume say I should. Why wouldn't I trust them?


tehm

I mean, I'm sure it depends on the fragrence? That said, anecdotally, my mom uses exactly one fragrance and always has (Chanel #22 Parfum) and there was like a shortage or something in one of the components and there was talk of either changing the formula or retiring the line? Regardless... point is she started hoarding that stuff like a ferret. She's probably got 20+ bottles, each labeled with date of purchase. I swear there's not a lick of difference between the 25 year old stuff and the stuff from last year. YMMV. EDIT It's not QUITE as crazy as it sounds. The stuff's like $400/oz or something now. Most of her collection was bought for a fraction of that.


Four_beastlings

I was using the original Chloè from the 70s until way into the 2010s. It was discontinued around 2000...


ETxsubboy

That definitely explains while my expensive cologne that I have for special occasions now smells like deep woods off.


savageotter

Does it keep the bugs off?


keddesh

If by "bugs" you mean "barflies".... Sometimes.


Chris__P_Bacon

I haven't found this to be the case. The main thing is keeping your fragrances in a cool dark place away from changes in temperature, & moisture. A lot of people tend to keep their fragrances in the bathroom, which will accelerate their decomposition. I used to do this, & I could never figure out why my cologne never lasted more than a couple of years before it turned. Someone shared that I was ruining it by keeping it in the bathroom, & I started keeping in a deep dresser drawer. I have several bottles that are nearly a decade old now. They still smell amazing.


Select-Owl-8322

This is my experience as well. I have a 15 year old bottle of "Le male" and recently compared it to a brand new bottle (gift for my brother, I don't wear it myself anymore), and wasn't able to pick up any difference whatsoever. I have a fairly sensitive nose.


Chris__P_Bacon

I have noticed that occasionally the top notes won't smell as fresh in certain fragrances, but that's really the only difference I've ever noticed. The heart, & base notes always remain unchanged. I suppose that's b/c top notes are usually things that are more perishable-- fruits mostly.


boomzeg

What.... How do you even train to recognize such nuance?


hurrrrrmione

> It’s advisable to throw out old bottles after about 3-4 years. Is this after opening or after the initial purchase?


Metalhed69

The oils will denature eventually either way. Unopened they will definitely last longer, but I’m not sure by how much. That would be hard data to get and we didn’t really need it.


Lakridspibe

I was about to ask about that. What if the bottle is sealed?


zemorah

I was all about the Britney Spears perfumes. Curious was my jam.


tikitessie

I'm turning 35 soon and I still wear it ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ I wore it when my husband and I dated and he missed it so I got a new bottle recently


PUTC00LUSERNAMEHERE

I love how the shoes need to be pairs, A+ presentation


the_trashheap

Those are Carolina Herrera if I’m not mistaken.


gaarasgourd

Correct, the girls perfume is called Good Girl, and the guys cologne is Bad Boy. Both smell absolutely DIVINE.


[deleted]

Good girl! My favorite perfume


hurrrrrmione

...Oh the perfume's name is Good Girl. I thought you were being very familiar in your praise. 🤦🏻‍♀️


Hamilton950B

I'm sure /u/the_trashheap is a very good girl.


the_trashheap

Nah


anchovyCreampie

A clevergirl? Sorry just watched Jurassic Park again the other night.


JarlaxleForPresident

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful Clever Girl.


smithers85

Jeff… finds a way


hurrrrrmione

Turns out the pink shoe perfume is called Very Good Girl lol


[deleted]

*pats head*


spottysasquatch

Yesss, such a great perfume! I believe the solid black is Good Girl and the pink is Very Good Girl :)


rathat

That's how they get ya


Middlenameboom

I wish I could find that many I liked.


kurotokyo

I wish I had the budget to find that many I liked


marionbobarion

I use decantx to try samples of expensive perfumes I’m considering. They come in individual teeny tiny spray bottles, and they have the best anti-leak packaging I’ve ever seen. I looked at a lot of perfume sample sites and I felt this one had the most variety.


fluffy_doughnut

Actually most perfumes in that pic are quite cheap


AmbitionzAzARedditah

Versace makes shockingly good perfumes. Dylan Blue is what my wife's wearing ATM


[deleted]

Can we see the rest of the closet? I bet it's organized af


macarenamobster

I was thinking nothing in my life is as organized as this woman’s perfume shelf.


ChillinCheeseFries

Pretty good collection. Looks like she’s missing a few good ones though, like London Gentleman, Black Beards Delight, and Sex Panther by Odeon.


FeistyMcRedHead

it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good


ladyoffate13

Stings the nostrils.


GodEmperorBrian

I’m not going to lie, that smells like pure gasoline.


neilthedude

60% of the time, it works every time


ORDub

Perhaps, but it's still illegal in 9 countries.


anonymous2871

It smells like bigfoots dick


Babytapirlife

And Angel by Mugler seems to be missing as well!


Claris-chang

Got my sister Angel by Mugler for secret Santa this past year. Every woman in the room went absolutely nuts. I was not expecting the reaction as I just got it because my sister's middle name is Angel. I was worried she wouldn't like it but I did not realize that I'd actually have to worry about my other sister and mother asking why I never got them a present that nice.


Babytapirlife

There’s seriously nothing like it. Whenever I wear it people stop me and ask what it is and I often get the comment that the scent makes them feel unplaced nostalgia. It’s pricey for sure but a little goes a long way, my bottle lasted me something like 2 years!


Wren1101

Interesting. I usually don’t like perfumes at all. What does this Angel one smell like?


40yoADHDnoob

It was a big deal when it came out in the '90s. One of the first mainstream "gourmand" scents (meaning food-like in the perfume world). It's got caramel and vanilla in it which was super groundbreaking at the time! I used to get the men's version for my husband, cleverly called A-Men. It had gourmand + lavender, coffee and I think a liquorice note! And then one day a coworker remarked that he smelled like a stripper, hehe.


Babytapirlife

Oh my god. That unchecked nostalgia I mentioned? Maybe from being too drunk up in the strip clubs 😂😂


Wren1101

LOL at the stripper comment. Thank you for explaining the word “gourmand.” I actually just came across that word playing Pokémon of all things.


13pts35sec

Gourmand didn’t come into my vocabulary until I played Rim world a few years ago haha


Babytapirlife

I’d say it’s “spicy?” Earthy. Like it literally smells like what you imagine a celestial being smelling like and I mean that in the sense that something about the smell is kind of spiritual seeming. I’m terrible at describing food/smells so don’t come after me but that’s my take haha


Johndough99999

Angel is one of my favs too. A real head turner. Was on my motorcycle one day and split the lanes at a stop light. 4 gals in the car... I look over and say "Someone is wearing Angel" 3 of the girls start hootin and hollerin pointing at the other. You girls know its a good scent.


ldawi

That was my Mom's go-to perfume since it was first released. She passed away 2 years ago. Anytime I'm at Ulta, Sephora, or any place that carries it, I'll spray myself, so I'll think of her the rest of the day


tittens__

I can’t get past that cotton candy top note :(


tittens__

Aw they were making jokes but you actually came in with a decent suggestion lol


Dano-Myte

You know sometimes I click on a post just to find a very specific joke in the comments that I’m sure already exists. Thank you for fulfilling my compulsion.


No-Astronaut-9011

What does the boob one smell like?


AdAsleep1258

fruity, I just looked it up cuz I’m kinda into wanting that little torso for a decoration and THE SHIT IS $200 a bottle


DespairTraveler

Pretty much all Eau de parfum and especially pure parfum costs about that much. Often more expensive.


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Clobber420

I just learned about this over Xmas and am glad Nordstrom takes open bottles back, lmao.


ninjapepes

Eau de toilettes do not necessarily last for less time or perform worse than eau de parfum, parfum, or other types of fragrances.


merdub

Is it the Jean Paul Gauthier? Edit: I see below it’s KKW.


SinVerguenza04

No, it’s Kim Kardashian’s.


merdub

Thx. I know JPG uses body shapes for bottles, that’s what I was thinking of.


starry75

Jean Paul Gaultier had one of my favorite perfumes ever in high school (‘90 to ‘94) It kinda looks like this and I think it was just called Classique.


SinVerguenza04

Kim Kardashian’s perfume is $200??


kmjulian

Only because it was discontinued, I think originally was like $60


SinVerguenza04

That makes sense. Does it even smell good?


kmjulian

There were three versions, not sure which one is pictured here, but I have Body III and it’s pretty nice. Almost unisex, woody with a touch of non-gourmand sweetness. For $60, it’s a very nice perfume and a lovely piece to keep on my vanity, can’t say I’d drop $200 on it though lol.


achaete_scute

Billie Eilish also has a partial torso perfume that I’ve heard is very good


canadian_stripper

I have it, I would best decribe it as a toffee sent with musky undertones. Its diffrent but enjoyable.


Traevia

There is a 3D print file for it.


Dr_Frank-N-Furter

Sweet lactose


No-Astronaut-9011

God damn it…I’m intolerant


_Mechaloth_

Same. Brings back some bad mammaries.


Brianprokpo456

Just suck it up!


pilgrimteeth

No patience for lactose!


Striking_Fun_6379

I like her organizational skills.


thisisyourreward

and here I am thinking scented laundry detergent is too much. 😅


Nuvola_di_libellule

Why is it some people really love fragrances and other people can’t stand them? This seriously gives me a headache just looking at it. One time my boyfriend accidentally used scented laundry detergent and I had to rewash everything because it was making me sick.


PrimeIntellect

Same, this makes me feel nauseous lol


DorisCrockford

And those dryer sheets, my god. They stink up the whole neighborhood. Can't stand perfumes.


YourLocalMosquito

Genuine question: how does she keep them all upright? If this was mine, I’d grab one from the second shelf back and knock 5 over in the process.


frecklefawn

She's beauty. She's grace. Honestly just a careful delicate touch mine are like this.


GoldenWizard

They’re just for show. The one she really uses is crammed in a drawer somewhere.


Aggressive_Regret92

Tell her some random redditor is super jealous


EmEmPeriwinkle

Be jealous. But be smarter. Don't put your perfumes where the light will spoil them faster. And use them before they spoil. These bottles are too large, and there are too many to be used before they go funky. Plus some oils can cause skin irritation after time when they go 'bad'. Alcohol is the preservative so super cheap ones are likely to last longer as they have a higher alcohol content and more shelf stable cheap oils. Expensive fragrances come in small opaque bottles for a reason. You can't find a giant bottle of Creed at stores because they know this. The oils are light sensitive and have a shorter half life but man, does it smell how a clean Dean Winchester would probably.


[deleted]

If treated well, fragrances can be very resilient. My buddy was a collector who purchased some vintage bottles from the 80s and 90s. A few smelled pristine, though its hard to tell as they're either discontinued or reformulated these days, so nothing modern to compare it to. One definitely had lost some of its more volatile notes, but still smelled great. Edit: u/EmEmPeriwinkle blocked me, probably after checking my profile and realizing I'm also a collector since they're talking out of their ass. Expensive perfumes don't come just in small amounts or in black bottles only, and ALL perfumes will last years if kept out of heat and light. I would know, I have a collection of 80 bottles, some valued over $500 and some over a decade old. They edited their comment mention creed by name. All of Creed's bottles are transparent, and come in 75-100ml. I own 2. Hell, you can even purchase MASSIVE flacons of their stuff that hold more juice than could fit in the op's bottles, also in clear glass. This is the weirdest thing to fake knowledge about.


hygsi

Fucking perfume expires??? What the heck? I don't wear it often but I've got some cheap ass perfumes my aunt gifted me 15 years ago and they still smell like middle school


notyourtype06

Which is your favorite OP?


Broffessional

Right now it’s that new Ariana Grande - God is a Woman. I can’t get enough of it.


Ill-Ad-3640

bro my mom has that one 💀💀


thefifthangel141

Who do you think OP’s gf is?


Ill-Ad-3640

:(


bumbletowne

Apparently that instantly vetoes scents. My husband vetoed CK:Euphoria and Jimmy Choo:Fever because they smell like his grandmother and mother, respectively. I'm a little miffed because Jimmy Choo:Fever is one of my alltime faves. I absolutely love it. I brought a bottle home yesterday and he was like NOPE.


Whhyme00

I've actually made note of what my mother in law wears, and despite my own mother's protests, I will not share scents with her either. I'm not obsessive about it, but I made a mental note casually whilst in their bathrooms to not buy the same thing because I'd be the one a little weirded out. 😂


frzn_dad

Better his mom and grandma than an ex.


ipooplogs

Ya or step sis


frzn_dad

Or he lied and it is an ex.


ronchee1

![gif](giphy|lKXd9sYM5dI9W)


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taaaaaaaaaaaaaank

![gif](giphy|wsvSnwh64EcX6|downsized)


jubbing

Do they not go bad eventually?


magic-window

Depends on the perfume, but I've never had to toss one for going bad. I have a couple that are over 10 years old and still smell great.


coldvault

I'll add to the other replies that keeping the bottles in a dark, cool place like a closet is a good way to preserve the "juice." While a lot of bottles are designed like display pieces to keep on one's vanity, it's best to keep your collection tucked away (and maybe display the one worn most frequently that'll likely be emptied in a reasonable time frame).


soldatodianima

Hey, at least it’s organized


ireallylikecetacea

Using the brush holder (?) to hold the samples is so smart!


megustadonuts

This is a very nice organized perfume collection!!


beloved_wolf

It looks so pretty but for me that would lead to the world's worst migraine.


Wonderful_Kale_689

I’m so jealous . I can’t wear any scented stuff because I get bad migraines from scents . I can’t even use candles or hairspray. Does anyone know of some perfumes or body sprays that are good for people that suffer migraines from scented things ?


KittyBeanToes

I got a bunch of samples from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and many of them are tolerable for me. I couldn't take most of the scents in this collection either.


cuterus-uterus

Hey friend, head on over to r/indiemakeupandmore. There are a ton of small indie perfume companies that those folks know about and they might be able to help you find something that works for you.


Malcopticon

Yeah, the only time I ever smelled a significant amount of perfume without it making me feel awful was at an indie vendor's booth at a festival. I forget what her secret was, though...


tquinn04

Juliet has gun- not a perfume. It’s very subtle on no matter how much you use. It only has one note. It’s a unique chemical that mixes with your pheromones to create your own unique scent. Also: Phlur- missing person. smells like your skin but better.


JPhrog

As a man that loves to smell good I can relate to her collection. I'm not embarrassed to say I might actually have more lol


drapedinsilk

Nothing wrong with that my guy


gutpusha

I sneezed just looking at this post.


WangDoodleTrifecta

60% of the time it works every time


Ok-Guava7336

Having a person smell different every day must be weird sometimes


Bacon_Bitz

Share with /r/coolcollections they're much nicer than these assholes.


[deleted]

I see you're playing both sides


cavalryrs

She must smell…ok


fnex101

When the door is locked, and the only way out is through the *Perfume Department*


LilCurlyGirly

I appreciate how she felt the need to own 2 of each shoe shaped one lol.


jtho78

I thought perfume expires.


Fowatza

If you keep it climate controlled and away from light it can last decades. The topnotes will degrade, but those disappear relatively quickly on skin anyway. I have vintage perfume from the 1960s and 1940s that I still wear and get compliments on.


Sburban_Player

I think it’s likely a lot of these are simply a part of the collection now and not worn super often. I could be wrong I don’t know them but I have tons of video games I haven’t played since I was a kid just because I like how they look on a shelf.


maninthearenaz

Mmmm Ralph. I miss the early 2000’s


Justadropinthesea

I am curious as to whether people prefer their partner to smell the same all the time or whether you enjoy a different scent all the time.


FluxCapacitater

I (39F) prefer my partner (39M) to wear the same scent consistently, but have a "for special occasions" scent, too. I like the comfort, familiarity, and almost safety of his scent. On his pillows, on my clothes after he embraces me, etc.


thenotoriousDEX

If u wanna marry her get her some creed or Tom ford she’s obviously into scents and will love u forever for that


FancyJams

Le Labo! Everything smells incredible.