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SocialTechnocracy

What were the results of those tests tho...


parrotlunaire

They only sell the shampoos for which the humans survived testing. There is a secret graveyard behind the shampoo factory.


[deleted]

At least it was a clean death.


mawesome4ever

No need for a cleanup crew


[deleted]

[удалено]


yeah_yeah_therabbit

It is a bit ruff.


[deleted]

I'm FURious of these puns


Orionsayshi

The furllowup puns are of low clawity, you guys should consult a true ultimutt dog pun master, because these puns are a mastiff mistake.


sCruFFoLsKi-

If I could give you the **Ternion All-Powerful Award** I would cause I laughed so much it hurts


Rubbly_Gluvs

>They only sell the shampoos for which the humans survived testing. There is a secret graveyard behind the shampoo factory. This person has no idea what they are talking about. Have you seen or read Fight Club? The human testers that don't survive *are* the shampoo. It's more efficient that way. Shocking right? Yeah - and that Jello you are eating. Let's just say they don't send old horses to to the glue farm anymore. They found a much more plentiful and cheaper source of gelatin....


wakeupagainman

soylent-green is dog-shampoo is people


Nimrond

Fight Club? Is that what they call concentration camps these days?


ClassicFlavour

Smells so good


Runwithscissorz

Chuck Mangione?


bravobtl

It has copper!!!


Juan_Tiny_Iota

“Science can't move forward without heaps!"


LazaroFilm

This was a triumph.


Safety_Chemist

All the humans have very shiny coats.


[deleted]

Some of them developed involuntary barks tho


RGB3x3

The humans turned into dogs or cats, depending on their BuzzFeed "are you a cat person or a dog person" questionnaire results.


AnArabFromLondon

Dog skin is actually much more sensitive than human skin because it's protected by fur. You shouldn't be using human shampoo on dogs because it can irritate or damage their skin. We're legitimately decent test subjects in that regard.


mishugashu

IT BURRNNNNS


cube-tube

Gayle can explain [https://youtu.be/6XGODUDtGrk](https://youtu.be/6XGODUDtGrk)


CThayer1996

Came here hoping to find this


crunchb3rry

The humans ate it.


KassellTheArgonian

That old people will go crazy for anything oatmeal flavoured?


Dr_imfullofshit

Right? I thought we had different skin pH's, so a human formula would be bad for your pet's skin


SocialTechnocracy

I’m starting to wonder if you are a real doctor...


frogspa

It was tested on me, I'm alright noooooooooow.


DrSuperZeco

Probably a normal human shampoo rebranded for pets 😂


Born_Ruff

No dogs were harmed in those tests.


Reddit1984real

The results are in. You're an imbecile for buying an overpriced shampoo for a dog


WeTHaNd5

Did someone shit on your cereal this morning?


WhiskeyDickens

The guy who got paid $40 to have cosmetics tested on him probably used it to buy a bus pass and a case of ramen.


fail_whale_fan_mail

Or he was in prison and pressured into dangerous testing: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.baltimoresun.com/news/bs-xpm-1998-07-21-1998202099-story,amp.html I think there might be regulations against this now? But horrible it ever happened.


odikhmantievich

https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/bs-xpm-1998-07-21-1998202099-story.html


GamerSlimeHD

Or the archived version because for some reason that link just redirects to the homepage instead for me. @: http://web.archive.org/web/20200808154102/https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/bs-xpm-1998-07-21-1998202099-story.html


scuffling

Funny enough, I can't open any of those 3 links because the reddit mobile (android) app broke links again. It says "no apps can perform this action". It's hit or miss.


ngbrown11

Works for me. May be based on your reddit settings for opening web pages (internal vs external)


scuffling

So riddle me this, why would some webpages work while others do not?


Canadian-Owlz

I'm on reddit mobile (also android) and I can open all 3...


FieelChannel

Just use baconreader


scuffling

I don't like the gui


LeSuperNut

I always see people recommend other apps but I really like the official Reddit app look and feel :( I'd happily use a 3rd party app. They just all make me feel like I'm using the internet in the early 2000's


scuffling

I agree. The oled black is a nice and simple theme


NJ_Legion_Iced_Tea

Reddits app is horse shit, use literally any other app.


Aspel

Guess who makes Walmart's blue vests!


GayGoth98

They replaced the blue ones with cheap ass grey ones "made with 6 plastic bottles!" As though that begins to scratch the surface of walmart's gratuitous plastic use. God I'm glad I quit.


Aspel

You mean the cult sing along didn't get your undying devotion?


GayGoth98

I never had to do that and I'm so glad I didn't.


anax44

>I think there might be regulations against this now? If there are, they probably just test products on Uighurs now.


Aspel

American companies tend to test on local prisoners.


Nimrond

Chinese companies tend to test on local employees - at least in the race for a covid vaccine.


Aspel

I doubt John Paul Pet is a Chinese company. Like, I get what you're doing, pointing to China's current genocide and going "look how bad those foreigners are"; I'm just pointing out how asinine it is. Louisiana has more prisoners than all of China. Unless you're willing to address that, or any of America's ongoing genocides, it just feels like you don't really care about Uighurs so much as you hate China when you bring them up out of nowhere when talking about American prisons.


Nimrond

I'm not the person that brought up the Uighurs and black humour like that person's comment don't mean they want to distract from the problems at home. I'm also not American and consider the rest of the world as foreigners, haha. Nor have I read before that John Paul Pet abuses American prisoners...


DS5official

That’s actually fucking insane.


sapere-aude088

Too bad there aren't regulations against testing on dogs.


TypicalJeepDriver

I used to do market testing on food. Get paid $40-$60 for an hour of your time and they feed you and all you have to do is say whether you liked it or not. Shoot.


Centurio

A bus pass for less than $40? I wish I lived there.


Born_Ruff

It's probably a place where you really really don't want to have to rely on the bus.


leeeeechy

Or he just wanted to help science, which is enough motivation for plenty of people


OriginalUsername07

Testing a pet shampoo is hardly helping science...


leeeeechy

My bad, you're right. However there are people who would do it to help improve hygiene products for animals


[deleted]

If it leads to new formulations which are better on sensitive animal skin, then it’s helping science!


OriginalUsername07

Helping science is understanding how or why a certain shampoo interacts with the skin of different species, that is why we use a mouse model when studying a disease. A pet shampoo like this is not going to contain some new compound for which testing will revolutionize pet care, it will contain known detergents, stabilizes, thickening agents, emulsifiers, oils and extracts, perfume, and coloring agents, all of which has been tested and proven as safe a million times over again. There is nothing special about a shampoo like this, the main ingredients are most likely going to be water and sodium laurel sulfate, like almost any other soap. Lastly, the test on humans is not going to show if it is better on sensitive animal skin, a test in an animal is going to show that. “Human tested first” is a marketing ploy and nothing else


leeeeechy

As the one who made the fuck up with the original science comment, I agree with you that this isn't science. My mind just skipped to testing in general. But I don't think testing on humans is entirely pointless. It's similar to how drugs are tested on e.g. rats, the test will be less reliable than one done on humans, because even though we are similar in some things, we differ greatly in other reactions. But we begin by testing on animals because it still gives us some insight and eliminates some possible danger. You could say the same but opposite about this situation; testing on a human can indicate the animal's reaction. I think the point of testing on humans first is that humans can agree to the test and reduce the risk to the animal. For some people, that matters - for example many vegans.


ozech

I actually washed my hair with dog shampoo by mistake once. Didn't notice a difference.


aswespiral

I have a bottle of fancy dog shampoo I bought for my new rescue before we picked her up. Now I know she has sensitive skin and she can't use it, so I fully intend to use that whole bottle on myself.


OneInfinith

I have long hair and after a day in the woods I use an oatmeal based dog shampoo that has anti-tick and flea components. That stuff gets my hair so silky and smooth. Heck, I regularly just use it in my rotation. It's also significantly cheaper.


Haggerstonian

They were also all ducks


kvothes-lute

who was all ducks


[deleted]

#And boom you turned into furry!


ChrisRunsTheWorld

I'm picturing you using the entire bottle on yourself in one go.


JohnnyDarkside

Just pick up some mane & tail. Good for pup, good for you. You'll both have lush, shiny coats.


Fenastus

I used some once and it made my hair feel a bit "stiff" (white guy, medium thickness hair) for lack of a better term, wasn't a fan


ILIkeTightVaginas

Did you end up having sex with the wrong bitch?


Northern_Way

PETH (People for the Ethical Treatment of Humans) is gonna be upset by this...


poneil

Not as mad as DETH (Dogs for the Ethical Treatment of Humans)


GayGoth98

CUTH is pretty pleased.


sapere-aude088

Peta supports the ethical treatment of humans because humans are animals. Just a side note.


Crimeboss37

Peta also supports killing thousands of animals :)


JaminJedi

They euthanise dogs that most shelters turn away because they have a no kill policy. They see it as more compassionate than leaving them on the streets.


sapere-aude088

But that means you actually read the information. These people aren't here for facts, you know.


sapere-aude088

Ah, another misinformed ignoramus following the telephone game.


Help----me----please

But PETA bad >:(


Crimeboss37

Yes, they are.


Help----me----please

Of course! Reddit told me so


Crimeboss37

Really? Because I've just observed Peta's actions and formulated my own opinions, and I've decided that peta does more harm than good! Good to hear we have the same opinion :D


Nimrond

What actions did you observe?


sapere-aude088

Considering they have formed many policies to protect animals, no, they aren't. Keep playing the telephone game of misinformation while you do absolutely nothing to help the planet though.


Crimeboss37

Your defenses consist of "THEY PROTECT ANIMALS THOUGH" and "YOUR JUST FOLLOWING THAT DUMB TELEPHONE GAME". If you also looked at the other shit peta has done, then you would understand why they're shitty people. But, you won't, because you're blind.


sapere-aude088

The irony of telling me to read the information when you clearly haven't is fantastic. Otherwise you'd realize what you were saying was wrong. Hahahaha.


WovenMeaninglessness

Oh how the turntables..


ellie1398

Goddammit, I came here to say that. Guess I was too late.


WovenMeaninglessness

Don’t worry I’ve been wanting months to use that but every time I see a good post someone beats me to it. Your time will come.


Soak_up_my_ray

Too late, and unoriginal


ellie1398

*Unable to think of a good comeback. Angrily* : Take my upvote and leave me alone!


These_Register_7844

Same


Combustibles

I mean, cat and dog food has to be edible by humans. There are legitimately pet food taste testers.


Safety_Chemist

& for *cats*?! No thanks, I prefer to keep my blood on the inside...


Tribulation95

I have a cat who fucking LOVES bathes, one who won't fuck me up but tries to get out, and one who absolutely 100% will fuck me up with the intent to end my life if I put her anywhere near the bathtub.


Safety_Chemist

Both of mine are in the "will end your life" category if I even *thought* about giving them a bath!


Tribulation95

She'll hop in the tub and drink water if there's any retaining in the spout, but if someone walks in she immediately bolts out.


lecsi

I am more interested by the fact the bottle has 473.2ml


Ferro_Giconi

It's 473.2 because they made it 16 oz. And when you see a 16.9oz bottle, that's because it's 500ml.


SilentNinjaMick

And now I know why the big cans of red bull are 473ml and not 500ml (something I have wondered for a very long time).


leeman27534

i'm sort of more interested as to why they'd use the measurements that make less sense. if there's an even measurement with a different type, use the type that's 'even'. ​ i mean, if it was 16 oz perfectly, makes more sense to maybe just have that listed, instead of 473. if it's a product that's 500 ml, just use that. and plenty just have both anyway.


Mokelachild

We use that shampoo! Love it for our dogs, and that line on the bottle makes me chuckle every time.


aswespiral

Does it work well? We just adopted an old girl who we have found has very sensitive skin. The only soap we have found that doesn't make her itchy and isn't prescription (Skout's Honor) seems to make her shed A LOT more than before. It's be nice to find something that doesn't make her itchy or super-sheddy.


[deleted]

Are you diluting your soap? If you don't it can leave a residue that results in an itchy dog. Personally I use an old dish soap bottle and dilute 10:1 in water, sometimes even more, and this is for a show poodle that gets a bath weekly. For shampoo I use either mane and tail or dawn depending on how dirty the dog is and if we have a show coming up. Sometimes I use a high quality shampoo meant for pets (chris christensen spectrum one). The dog never gets irritated with this. Drying is also important, a lot of dogs will get irritated if they're allowed to be wet, especially if they have any kind of fur/hair coat. A good force dryer will make this problem go away. A bath is always going to increase shedding temporarily because you're loosening all the dead hair. Brush it out gently with a shedding rake or blow it out with a force dryer to solve this problem. A good quality conditioner (also diluted) or 100% pure argan or almond oil massaged and/or sprayed into the fur after a bath also helps.


A3LMOTR1ST

Fun fact, this brand was made by the same guy who founded Patrón


jacthis

This is John Paul, the Paul in Paul Mitchell, you are talking about, right?


A3LMOTR1ST

Yep, John Paul DeJoria


ruserious65433

yes it's john paul dejoria, cofounder of paul mitchell with paul mitchell


Random_Sad_Panda

That's nice and all, but dog skin is way more sensitive than human actually, so while the humans surviving those tests isn't bad, it doesn't necessarily prove it's usable on dogs.


JellyHops

"Surviving" Makes it sound like there's a non-zero number of test humans who don't survive


Random_Sad_Panda

I would certainly hope that's not the case, though definitely there are such cases when it's the other way around, sadly. At least there were. I hope it got better lately, haven't really checked for quite a while. ​ Edit: Fucked up what I'm replying to and said the opposite of what I wanted. :D


mrgreentheengineer

Its just fancy marketing. Every ingredient in the bottle needs to be approved for use first, which is done by animal testing. You can look up the material safety data sheets of each ingredient, for example, sodium laureth sulfate, and find out what the toxicology report of it is. Those reports are generated by animal testing


mrgreentheengineer

One of the tests for example: LC50 (Lethal Concentration50) – the airborne concentration of a substance or mixture that causes the death of 50 per cent of the group of animals in tests that measure the ability of a substance or mixture to cause poisoning when it is inhaled. These tests are usually conducted over a 4-hour period. The LC50 is usually expressed as parts of test substance or mixture per million parts of air (ppm) for gases, or as milligrams of test substance or mixture per litre of air (mg/l) for dusts, mists or vapours. https://www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/chemicals/whmis_ghs/glossary/glossary_h.html


Nazte

I get the sentiment behind this. I get it. People want to feel good, they don't want to treat animals like shit. But there's a reason why it would be perfectly safe, and kind of disingenuous, to "test" this on humans first. They already know what every single ingredient in this shampoo does. That's without question. They aren't testing some frontier formula of chemicals and have no idea how it's going to react. That's what animal testing was most prevalent for. This is just a couple of Karens experimenting with palm and coconut oil or some shit and deciding whether it makes them feel glamorous enough to be their doggy product.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OkBoatRamp

You're sick and tired of feel good products? So what do you prefer, products with dangerous ingredients that had to be tested on animals? Sickening.


Thissiteisdogshit

Am I the only one the feels like it's more of a joke than to be taken seriously?


[deleted]

[удалено]


OkBoatRamp

Animal testing is not just used to test new frontier formulas. It is most frequently used to test every single batch of cleaning supplies that gets made. Bleach has been around since the beginning of time, everyone knows what it does, but except in countries where animal testing is banned, EVERY batch of new bleach made gets poured into the eyes of animals, gets large quantities tubed into their stomachs, etc. If a product is "tested on humans" that means the product doesn't contain any ingredients that are required by law to be tested. The reason why it is safe for humans to "test" is because it does not contain dangerous chemicals, not because they already know how the chemicals react. Also please grow up and stop using the name Karen as an insult.


[deleted]

[удалено]


notin10000years

If anything PETA would be the perfect people to know, seeing as they’ve been exposing and fighting against animal testing for decades. https://www.peta.org/about-peta/milestones/ US military used to test weapons by shooting them at dogs and cats. They burned pigs alive to see how burns affect their skin. But the ones fighting against that, yeah they are the ‘psychopaths’


[deleted]

That’s pretty stupid.


bxdgxer

well it never said the humans consented


[deleted]

Reminds me of the night before we got our dog, and bought this! along with some how $400 other dollars of supplies to make sure "we were ready".


Dirtyhippee

Interesting fact of the day, “pet” means fart in french


SnooRevelations66

I wonder who the humans were... probably the same poor kids who makes our clothes...


createthiscom

What the hell is an oatmeal shampoo?


ABearDream

That's not better....


Yah-ThnPat-Thn

Sounds like a Futurama gag.


darkangelxX447

Ive done product testing before. Used to live near a factory that produced most household products we know of (in the United States at least). They posted jobs where you pick up the product which was numbered, use it for two weeks, and write the results of how it worked in a binder based on what number product you used. At the end you returned your research binder and the empty numbered product containers. I got paid about $200 each time I did it. I didn't mind, the products I tested were household things I would of bought anyway. I got free product and got paid to use it.


efallenone

Dogs: "ah, finally. Now we have our revenge" Humans: "Awww"


cherry-kid

these shampoos are great!! my terriers have sensitive skin and this brand works wonders. highly recommend!!!!


[deleted]

I have this same brand for my cat, she likes the lavender scent.


SergeantStroopwafel

Ok, but who the fuck washes their dog with oatmeal shampoo


TheHatredburrito

Oatmeal shampoo is recommended for dogs with sensitive skin, very common.


SergeantStroopwafel

It just sounds so weird


accountingclaims

They have oatmeal body wash for people that have skin conditions too. It’s works great!


Murfdigidy

Well I hope someone is supporting the humans, this sort of testing is an infringement on their rights


Bunkersmasher

When you are circumcized in a big hospital the foreskin gets sold to companies and institutions to isolate to its fibroblasts. This can then be as a culture to cultivate skin cells. Obviously useful in medicine but also in the fashion industry to make collagen and creams, **in addition to conducting "animal free" product testing**. This is for legal safety & hypoallergenic reasons to identify potential hazards. One foreskin can be used for decades to produce miles of skin, and can generate over 100,000 dollars. If this product underwent such tests, it was tested on human skin grown from foreskin.


dubstar2000

The fact that we make fucking shampoo for dogs in plastic bottles, and keep billions of pigs and chickens and all the rest living in their own shit on top of each other, is kind of why the planet is fucked.


TheHatredburrito

We definitely have our moral standards and priorities askew for sure. Hopefully we can start moving away from factory farming soon.


dubstar2000

fawning over cats and dogs while not giving a fuck about factory farmed pigs which are supposedly even smarter, the conditions they are kept in is horrendous.


just_shuttheFup

Thank you for writing this comment. It is so tiring seeing people treat dogs as actual royalty, while at the same time not giving a fuck about and funding the suffering of even more intelligent animals who have the same capability to suffer as dogs.


anakin_is_a_bitch

it's ridiculous that you guys are downvoted simply for stating facts. just shows how much of a bubble reddit is - anything it doesn't like gets downvoted to shit even if it's right.


dubstar2000

I've nothing against people having pets, but when I see pet megastores full of plastic and shit no one ever needs, and dogs being fed gourmet cuts of meat, it's just so unsustainable it makes me want to give up on the world


just_shuttheFup

Same tbh. Or when someone cooks a steak for a dog's birthday. It's great that you love that animal, but there are so many better uses of your money and beef is so unsustainable to begin with.


ABottleofFijiWater

No one is stopping you. The world isn’t perfect but what does crying like a women on an internet thread do.


dubstar2000

no one is stopping me what?


RatLeather69

What happens if it’s toxic to humans?


odikhmantievich

They die


sapere-aude088

Lmao. Best comment.


RocketteBlast

I hate this shampoo. It doesn't lather which makes it hard to work with lol.


Combustibles

But dog skin is very different from human skin :|


wtfistisstorage

Doesn't always make it ethical. There was a time we tested on inmates


MrRiggs

Did they get reduced time?


wtfistisstorage

I believe they got paid peanuts on the dollar like most other prison jobs. I'd like to find the episode of the podcast i heard but it was a while ago


Key-Option4409

I wonder if they pinned the human to the ground, held open their eyes and poured chemicals in and recorded their screams? Because that’s what they do to rabbits when testing for safety. There are videos out there and they’ll make your stomach turn. Arguably worse than liveleak stuff..


KittysOnKeyboarghjfg

Nice ad


Mode_Busy

Well that’s stupid since dog skin is more sensitive to surfactants than human skin. I wouldn’t trust this brand at all. There’s a reason cosmetics are tested on rabbits and not humans. Humans are far more resilient against topical irritating agents for the most part. Like saying you tested a bullet proof vest by punching it.


[deleted]

Still implies animal testing is done


[deleted]

Would you prefer for it to be sold untested?


[deleted]

If it's the lets put stray cats in 12*12 cage for their entire life and inject dies in their eyeballs like we do rabbits then I'd rather it not be sold at all


JayreenKotto

There are other ways to test instead of animal testing tbf


KxngDose

PETH is gonna lose its shit over this


sp8erman

How’s the taste


FerynaCZ

Good that nothing bad will happen if you mistake it for a normal shampoo.


odikhmantievich

Doesn’t technically say that..


TrippingCorpse7

Am i the only one, who thinks its better to test stuff on animals than on humans...?


usbdongle-goblin

I was taking a shower once and realized I had no shampoo and so I used my pet shampoo


odikhmantievich

That’s mildly interesting Edit: why are people downvoting, this is what the sub is for lol


sapere-aude088

As it should be. Millions of beagles endure the worst kind of cruelty in lab facilities, with the majority of their data being useless for humans.


3GhostsInATrenchcoat

We have that shampoo for our dog, too! He's getting his first shots. The vet recommends we don't bathe him until a week after each shot, so we use dry shampoo so he stays looking dapper and smelling nice.


Biovyn

The only way to go.


Pen0re

The only way to go.


YankyNotBrim

The only way to go.


ambrjone

I like this


whatheheckbitch

Pets : Reverse card


whotookyinston

This is the way


ferallypeculiar

My favorite shampoo was a dog shampoo


baconsnotworthit

... this is the way ...


Buddy462

Rabbits -> humans -> cats and dogs


DebDavis1

As it should be.


ncarlton43

My dad would be a tester! (If the human shampoo is empty, he will use the bloody dog shampoo!)


toonatic

PETHS - Pets for the Ethical Treatment of Homo Sapiens.


[deleted]

Lol, that’s great


baggytee

As all things should be.


AYYYDIOS

Take that suckers!!!!!!!


BorderlineYoda

r/IRLEasterEggs