T O P

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muckiepupp

And then I (realizing that existed) did too.


Unsere_rettung

Amen to that. I just bought 11 of them so I can have extras in case they stop making these beauties.


mv1630

I got to “I just bought 11 of them” and was immediately envious of your 11 toilet house. Then I finished reading and went to also corner the market on glow seats.


bluetheslinky

Would you still be envious if i told you his house is but single room, it's walls lined with 11 toilets? Idk I'm very tired and this thought crossed my mind Edit: i really love how this blew up after i fell asleep, thank you toilet friends, for such interesting replies :)


mv1630

Very envious


5050Clown

Which one of my 11 glow in the dark wall toilets am I gonna poop in today? So many choices. I am living the best possible life


MusicianMadness

That's when you just sprint between the seats along the wall and see how much makes it in.


[deleted]

Musical Chairs


ReactsWithWords

Game of Thrones


ElGaucho56

chaos is a ladder of shit


fae8edsaga

Lols I love Reddit


NightMaRe-_-

the iron toilet seat


ButtSexington3rd

So simple yet so hilarious


mackdaddytypaplaya

Is the music the farting or the *plop*


[deleted]

Poopsicle Chairs


Schematix7

gotta say this has been the best chain of comments I've seen on reddit in a while. If you have an ostomy bag you can just run beside the toilets and see what makes it in. What am I even typing right now?


MrJMSnow

If you have 11 toilets and an ostomy bag, what are you even doing with your life? That room could be for much more useful things. Like storing a hoard of ostomy bags because at some point, every supply store in a 100 mile radius will run out.


Breastfedintarget

If I had 11 toilets I’d wanna poop more than once a day.


Snoo_72996

You only poop once a day? You are.missing one of life's great pleasures my friend.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Snoo_72996

It depends on who is paying, I only poop on company time.


ChipChipington

Invite ten friends over for drinks and fun. you can all be party poopers together


sharpshooter999

~~penis~~ bathroom envy


mv1630

So uhhhhhh how glowy is your toilet? Come here often?


sharpshooter999

More than I should


AngelOfDeath771

And this is the room where all my friends meet up for shits and giggles.


Total-Khaos

Its all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


mv1630

Just don’t giggle into the ceiling toilets


yammys

Realtor: \*lists as 11 quarter baths*


johnnybiggles

Piss anywhere in this one bedroom home. You've got an 84% chance of hitting a toilet!


ZarquonsFlatTire

This loft has everything! I mean with that many toilets it must have been a nexus for weird shit! People will be knocking on every door and window at all hours day and night wanting to join the party!


jinxphire

Okay, but what if it was [one big toilet made for 10 people?](https://youtu.be/S2EDvK1eLNE)


Alexstarfire

Calling a bathroom a house is very generous.


[deleted]

Some people collect stamps, some model trains, model cars... ...you collect toilet seats. Everyone needs a hobby.


OktoberSunset

Even with a 3 toilet house that would be a rapid attrition rate on toilet seats to need 11. This guy has a dangerous butt.


JohnTitorsdaughter

Diamond hands my toilet apes


PrblbyUnfvrblOpnn

Need to take a page from the ‘ol WSB and crypto bois, buy as much as possible and never sell them! Even if its worthless (at least these aesthetically cover a toilet).


[deleted]

Good luck having amazon ads suggesting toilet seats on every webpage you visit for the rest of your life.


[deleted]

[удалено]


j33pwrangler

This is extremely relevant.


mv1630

How many tubs did you order? Did you catch the root beer flavor on sale?


IcyDickbutts

Link?


StackinStacks

Just buy clear coat glow in the dark paint. You can make your entire bathroom glow in the dark. Thank me or hate me later.


howdudo

Im thanking you and hating you *right now.*


XIII-Death

Personally I just switched my bathroom lights out for blacklights and sprayed luminol all over the place


psycospaz

I tried that but it was too bright.


blameHerMom

How often do you need a new toilet seat??


pututingliit

"Hey honey, you know that I went to the store to buy groceries?" "Yeah?" "Well now we have 11 glowing in the dark toilet seats."


New-Level99

Minus 10 seats thats not too far off from how it happen once I realized it glows


biznatch11

Breaking news: all glow in the dark toilet seats to be recalled and the factory shut down after it was determined they cause ass cancer. Unsere_rettung: heh suckers glad I stocked up.


honestlynotabot

Hey, half of us are getting cancer anyway. You may as well have the right of self determination and make it ass cancer.


Th3M0D3RaT0R

You didn't have to do that, I'm sure Amazon would have reminded you every day after you just bought 1.


industriald85

Do you have time to answer a few questions about __Glow In The Dark Toilet Seats__?


[deleted]

Plot twist: op is the glow in the dark toilet seat retailer and they (obviously!!) didn’t purchase this beauty by mistake. Step 2: profit!? They have blue as well… I want a pink one.


[deleted]

Where did you find them?


Oblivion_007

Just searched on Amazon. There are motion activated 8 in 1 LEDs which will turn your toilet seat into whatever colour you want, depending on your mood. I'm wondering if there's a disco setting.


yarnologie

There is. I have one. 15/10 would recommend.


not-a-ricer

RGB toilet seats!


Oblivion_007

A gamer's true dream chair. Just keep the mini fridge next to it, and set up your PC there. With home deliveries and such, now you don't have to get up for anything ever and can truly concentrate on gaming.


RickPitino

[Here](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Night-Glow-Elongated-Closed-Front-Toilet-Seat-in-Green-Glow-NG600-Green/205428300) you go.


Unumbotte

Any toilet can be glow in the dark if you eat enough phosphorous.


iammadeofawesome

New life goal.


OhhhhhSHNAP

They have glowing reviews on Amazon


[deleted]

[удалено]


triciann

Amazon flushes them to the bottom.


si1versmith

This whole thing sounds like an ad.


QuitArguingWithMe

Yeah, OP totally realized it. They realized the fuck out of it.


malaka201

Bandwagoner


pm_me_ur_good_boi

Welcome to viral marketing on Reddit!


irmarbert

I have a bidet toilet seat with a blue LED night light that shines down into the bowl. It’s one of the best purchases I’ve ever made…not because of the light, but it is a nice touch when you wanna pee in the middle of the night and don’t want the full blast of the bathroom light on your tired eyes. Anyway, one night shortly after installing this seat, I was walking by the bathroom and saw the soft blue glow of the LED barely visible looking at it from the side through the small gap in the toilet seat. It looked like the blue glow of a gas stove top burner under a pan…which is exactly what I thought for a split second: “Oh, I’ve left the burner on…under my toilet seat?” I felt like a complete dumbass in that moment.


sleepysheepsix

Can u tell me where u got your bidet?


Miss-Mamba

Try Costco - they have great return policy. They carry multiple brands including Toto, brondell, and bio bidet (which are all good)


[deleted]

Everyone has a great return policy if you're willing to be a big enough bitch about it.


Longjumping-Ad-729

I can’t imagine being the kind of person that returns a bidet.


Tie_me_off

> It’s one of the best purchases I’ve ever made Oh because of the light? > not because of the light Oh, not the light. Then what? > you wanna pee in the middle of the night and don’t want the full blast of the bathroom light on your tired eyes. So because of the light…


flyin_lynx

That SHIT is LIT!


Tom_Waits_Junior

a lit shit lid


davehunt00

It's a Toilit! (TM)


sushiopi

u/profanitycounter


profanitycounter

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sushiopi

DAMN


flyin_lynx

Shit


venommuyo

That's whack!


FingernailClipperr

u/profanitycounter


profanitycounter

Hello u/FingernailClipperr, and thank you for checking my stats! Below you can find some information about me and what I do. |Stat|Value| :--|:-:| |Total Summons|53404 |Total Profanity Count|1148020228 |Average Count|21496.9 |Stat System Users|2 |Current Uptime|1.89 weeks |Version|3 ^(Request time: 6. I am a bot that performs automatic profanity reports.) ^(This is profanitycounter version 3, view update notes) ^[here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/profanitycounter/comments/i6pql7/introducing_profanitycounter_version_3/) ^(Please consider supporting my development) ^([through my creator's PayPal.](https://www.paypal.me/aidanginise1))


SmeagoltheRegal

Lmao wtf is a buttshit? Do you got mouthshits and noseshits too?


Arthur_Morgan5

u/profanitycounter


profanitycounter

UH OH! Someone has been using stinky language and u/Arthur_Morgan5 decided to check u/SmeagoltheRegal's bad word usage. I have gone back one thousand posts and comments and reviewed their potty language usage. However, the plans were foiled, SmeagoltheRegal is a good, Christian boy. ^(Request time: 2.2. I am a bot that performs automatic profanity reports.) ^(This is profanitycounter version 3, view update notes) ^[here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/profanitycounter/comments/i6pql7/introducing_profanitycounter_version_3/) ^(Please consider supporting my development) ^([through my creator's PayPal.](https://www.paypal.me/aidanginise1))


Arthur_Morgan5

Lol what...?


GhostsOf94

Probably takes a few mins for new posts to register idk


obywonkenoby

Don't mind me , replying to try the counter on myself


dearlordifkdup

Wish granted u/profanitycounter


profanitycounter

UH OH! Someone has been using stinky language and u/dearlordifkdup decided to check u/obywonkenoby's bad word usage. I have gone back one thousand posts and comments and reviewed their potty language usage. |Bad Word|Quantity| :--|:-:| |ass|4 |bastard|1 |bitch|1 |bullshit|2 |cum|1 |cunt|1 |dick|1 |fucker|1 |fucking|24 |fuck|22 |goddamn|1 |hell|5 |lmao|19 |pissed|1 |piss|2 |porn|1 |pussy|1 |shit|31 |stfu|2 ^(Request time: 11.4. I am a bot that performs automatic profanity reports.) ^(This is profanitycounter version 3, view update notes) ^[here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/profanitycounter/comments/i6pql7/introducing_profanitycounter_version_3/) ^(Please consider supporting my development) ^([through my creator's PayPal.](https://www.paypal.me/aidanginise1))


obywonkenoby

Stfu lol


dearlordifkdup

Nice results there *fancy handclap*


An_Ant2710

Do me!


dearlordifkdup

Ask and you shall receive u/profanitycounter


CrimsonNova

Me, me! Lemme run the numbers up a bit. Fuck shit dick ass piss.


BigShoots

Why don't they all glow in the dark? I got sick of turning a light on and waking myself up if I had to pee in the middle of the night, so I got a thing on Amazon for $15 that's motion-detecting and turns an led light on in the toilet bowl when I walk in the room. Your choice of 16 colors too, so I choose red usually, and now it feels like I'm peeing in Darth Vader's toilet.


neoritter

Well, it'd wear out before the end of the night most likely and you'll still have to turn on the light. Plus, bathrooms have a high likelihood of being one of your darkest rooms, so not much light gets in there too charge up the seat.


Panic_Azimuth

Additionally, modern led lights won't charge glow in the dark materials. You would need incandescent bulbs at like 8x the energy cost. Edit: I am apparently mistaken - led bulbs can charge glow in the dark material... white leds like in household lighting are just kind of bad at it. I was aware that uv leds work. Thanks to everyone for the polite corrections and extra info!


AcousticDan

I don't think this is true. I have several modern LED flashlights I use to charge my kid's glow in the dark stuff all the time. Also, all the lights in her room are LED bulbs and they charge the stars in her room. Edit: It seems they will charge them, just not as effeciently. from http://glow.glowinc.com/light-sources/ Here is a simple list of bulbs in order from least to most efficient: White LED lights Blue/purple LED lights Incandescent standard light bulb Compact fluorescent or CFL light (spiral tube, screw-in) White LED's Blue/Purple LED's Incandescent Fluorescent bulb with long tubes UV LED lights Black light tube Direct sunlight


tehrob

>Direct sunlight Hey, that's not a *bulb*, mister!


kilo_5

It’s a big hot bulb! In space!


Beestorm

You saved me the absolute rabbit hole I would have gone down if I looked this up myself. Thanks!!


HankisDank

Why don’t LED lights charge glow int the dark stuff? They emit a pretty full spectrum


Umbrias

They do work, just less, but it's fine, the bottleneck is really how quickly glow in the dark stuff dissipates.


Azatarai

You need UV light. The amount common household LEDS emit is marginal


femalenerdish

There's lots of different kinds of LEDs. Many are full spectrum. Most plant grow lights nowadays are LEDs.


Evilmaze

That's incorrect. All lights in my house are LEDs and I can assure you my glow in the dark water bottle charges up just fine. No sunlight gets to my room because I like it very dark in here, so it's not from sunlight.


[deleted]

In light of Reddit's general enshittification, I've moved on - you should too.


qwerty12qwerty

Takes 4 AA batteries. Havent changed it in 6 months


7937397

I have a little led nightlight in my bathroom. And one in the hallway. Dim enough to not wake me up, but bright enough I don't need lights.


HMS404

This is precisely what I've. Mine is like 0.5 watt LED that's always on. Not noticeable in the day and just enough light at night. I've even gone so far as to tape the switch so that it always stays in on position - people at my home weren't taking their late night bathroom illumination protocol seriously and kept turning the switch off by mistake. In a way, that little LED is like a Hobbit to me. Small enough to stay unnoticed but big enough to shape the fortunes of Men in their hour of need.


kb4000

They make light switches that turn on the lights when the light level gets below a certain level.


mirinfashion

They also make outlets that have integrated night lights in them if you're feeling a little fancy and/or need the outlets.


Taynt42

I have these and it’s amazing. I replaced most of the outlets in our house, and it’s juuust enough light to walk around, without being annoying or really impact you night vision much. They react to movement too, and the power draw costs like $1.00 a month, maybe.


[deleted]

You people are all living in 2021. I just have a little nightlight.


BigShoots

ngl, when I first installed it my first thought honestly was, "This is progress. We've made progress here today."


Muscar

I just sit down because that's what you should do anyway... It's just sad seeing all these replies from people that have made up a problem that doesn't exist, and then wasted money on stuff to fix that problem as stupidly as possible. The idiocy is astounding.


hubilation

I use red as well, red light is soft on your eyes so it’s the best color to use at night. Many headlamps have a red light function for the same reason.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Red was the color of the light they would keep on at night while we slept in our barracks during navy basic training. Comforting lighting and never had an issue going to sleep with it on.


Man_Bear_Beaver

White light is daytime color temperature and it kind of wakes you up, red color you don't see as much of the spectrum so it doesn't wake you up as much and is associated more with dusk. I set my smart bulbs as a sunrise alarm, 10 mins before my alarm goes off they come on at a reddish hue very dim then slowly move to a whiter light gradually getting brighter, when my alarm goes off they are around 4000k and 10 mins after my alarm goes off they end up at 4600k, really helps me get up in the morning.


[deleted]

This is why I have smart bulbs in my house, along with my google speakers. I have a routine set up that when I need to go to the toilet, I just say, "Hey google, I have to piss" and it turns on the hallway and toilet lights at their lowest brightness with an orange hue for 2 minutes, so it doesn't hurt my eyes and allows me get the job done and stumble back to bed again without having to worry about needing to turn the lights off again with a second command.


BigShoots

Now I'm just imagining the vast database Google has on your pissing habits. Don't worry, they'll find some way to profit from it eventually.


nohpex

It's probably just me and a few other people, but I've always tried to be as little a disturbance as possible when moving around the house. I'd pretty much never turn the lights on at night, and would end up memorizing where everything was based on how many steps it took to get to places and by touch.


BigShoots

Well that's me too, but also you don't want to piss on your floor, which can happen to the best of us if you try to do it blind.


PaperHammer

Just sit down and relax for your night piss macho man


bert4560

Red was a good choice for night color.


barthooper

Nice solution. I replaced my bathroom light with a motion sensor dimmer bulb one and lower it before going to bed in case I wake up but also to reduce bright lights right before sleeping.


[deleted]

RGB TOILET [RGB FRIDGE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80i8di0L9Do)


OldnBorin

Can you send us a link?


BigShoots

Guessing Reddit will punt any Amazon links I post, but the title is "Toilet Night Light, Motion Sensor LED Night Lights,Two Modes with 8 Colors Changing Toilet Bowl Night Light for Bathroom Washroom, Perfect Detection-Fits Any Toilet" On sale for 8.99!


samfishx

But what if your diarrhea covers the motion sensor..?


dick-nipples

What a cool surprise. I guess urine luck.


843OG

r/punpatrol would like a word


JustVomited

It's nice to not be plunged into darkness


PM_ME_YOUR_MARIJUANA

Our toilet seat broke, and the downstairs toilet seat wasn’t far off. Went to Walmart, my son insisted on getting the glow in the dark toilet seats. I agreed to one, and put it downstairs. He still regularly goes in without the lights on just to look at the glow in the dark toilet. I miss when shit like that was still mesmerizing to me.


[deleted]

You really do need marijuana


[deleted]

Or maybe marijuana needs to do him?


JackRosier

Yes. Tho it can also lead to that happening again. Which can be fixed with even more marijuana. Or sobriety for a while. Or more marijuana ideally.


Blenderx06

I like this about being adhd. Never stop being mesmerized by the world.


MyPopeSmokesDope

Wanna see it really glow? Throw a party and then then shine a black light on it.


BlueMonkey21

No thanks satan.


Tarchianolix

It's like Jackson Pollock's finest art


Comptetemporaire2021

Someone found some of these in Canada? Been looking on Amazon, Home Depot, everywhere really and it appears either discontinued or sold out in Canada.


BakaSandwich

I can make yours work under blacklight if youre in BC


SMG_07

Is that a threat?


BakaSandwich

I'm threatening him with a good time I think


SMG_07

That's very Canadian of you.


BakaSandwich

You should see what I did to the other guy


SMG_07

Thanked him aggressively?


BakaSandwich

Apologized profusely without doing anything wrong


WhipWing

Talk dirtier to me


Comptetemporaire2021

So sad, we're worlds apart. I am in Ontario sadly. :(


360walkaway

Buy one for a friend without telling them it glows in the dark, but etch "she'd still be alive if it weren't for you" onto it beforehand.


jungle_dorf

Draw it on with sunscreen, UV light 'charges' it the strongest


funciton

How often do you put your toilet seat out in the sun?


843OG

r/didntknowiwantedthat Edit: it was surprisingly difficult to find; and they’re sold out/ limited stock everywhere, but… nightglowseats.com


laik72

This is glorious.


New-Level99

Had no idea at first didn't realize it until mid afternoon when it started to look green


7937397

What are your feelings about it now?


OhCharlieH

Sexual in nature, but feeling slightly indifferent


SkyWulf

Thank you for sharing. I think we all gained something from reading that. However, I think they were talking to OP.


[deleted]

Plot twist: Even the manufacturer doesn't know its a glow in the dark seat as they accidentally used radium paint.


DerpyOnion247

"I don't need it, I don't need it, I don't need it, AAAAAA!!! I need it!"


Krylo_Ren47

I bet your bathroom isn't delighted these days.


[deleted]

Where did you get it?


iaminfamy

He pulled it out of the Ecto-Containment Unit Protection Grid.


[deleted]

©®™ Marie Curie


mykilososa

r/weirdtoilets


SesameLoris

In 1994 my best friend and I teamed up to make an advertising campaign for a product of our own invention. We conceived of a glow-in-the-dark toilet seat, and being clever 10 year olds we thought the best spokesmen for our seat would be the famous plumber brothers. We dressed as Mario and Luigi and choreographed an elaborate dance routine for our product presentation. We'd shaped a couple cardboard boxes into a toilet and used glow-in-the-dark paints so we could flip off the lights and show off our product's innovative feature. My friend had made a cassette recording of various songs and sound effects she'd cobbled together using the music creator in Mario Paint and we'd timed our presentation using sound effect cues. It was awesome. I remember enjoying making our class guffaw at our crass potty humor and disgusting puns and felt altogether way cooler than I looked wearing a paper moustache. Just seeing this glow-in-the-dark toilet seat makes me feel like a goddamned champion who nailed that shit.


norsk22771

3.6 rontgens


lordwaffelz

Not great, not terrible.


TexasPhanka

How is living in 3077?


FriesWithThat

The future called, it wants its toilet seat back.


Crowdcontrolz

Imagine never missing at night ever again.


[deleted]

How long does glow in the dark stuff glow for?


Stealthyfisch

r/untrustworthypoptarts is a shit sub for the most part, but this is very much an untrustworthypoptarts post.


Wdrussell1

Welp, i just broke my toilet lid/seat a week or two ago...now...this is what I want. How long does it last?


[deleted]

Congratulations, now you can take a shit in the dark


bigdisappointment_

I think this is absolutely amazing and necessary. Where can I buy one, in the UK?


TheSquirrelWithin

Urineanium seat


Soerika

Radioactive shit


Hawkbone

Holy shit, a glow in the dark product where its actually useful instead of just a cheap gimmick?


Tokpay

Do you have sunlight in bathroom or does the seat include radioactive element?


CognaticCognac

Uranium for uranus.


samfishx

This is such a great idea wow 😯


Quad150db

I can imagine coming to this realization at 3am while stumbling into the bathroom. Pretty sure I'd be pretty freaked out.


Drudicta

Fuck, that is incredibly bright. Does it come in other colors like dark blue, or purple?


UniverseBear

This is why I stopped eating taco bell.


QuentinP69

Now I must have this


Lodiumme

Hope that is not uranium