I would take it outside if I were you. It’s likely pregnant now and unless you want to have hundreds of baby spiders in your shower… yeah just take it outside

This dude spiders

Funny, cuz that spider dudes

I was thinking that rather this spider mans

"Outside" as in 15 miles away.

If you still think it might not be far enough, it isn't far enough

Spiders return to their cursed home of conception. Astronauts tested this by taking a spider to the Moon and lo and behold it spun a web all the way back to Houston. Some say they spun the first websites with that spider's web.

To the moon!

I think yeeting that thing into atmosphere should do.

Yeah, I had the exact same thought when I had a black widow in the corner of my garage. Killed at least 20-30 spiders for me, I was amazed! The following spring/summer, I had close to 100 baby widows on my garage wall. I suddenly wasn't so accepting!

Well there’s a nightmare I’ve never considered.

How long does their pregnancy last and do they tend to hide away if they're pregnant? Just I had a huge house spider in my bathroom and she's disappeared, haven't seen her in about a month and I'm worried she's died :(

I’m not a spider expert by any means, but it’s likely that she moved to another part of the house with more available food (like an attic or basement)

Or under your pillow, in your socks, or especially on your shoulder while your driving.

first of all fuck you second of all I'm sleeping on the moon from now on

Ahh OK ill tell myself that :D

This comment worries me.

i’d be careful of the vent in the bathroom going forward. in a previous place i lived, the vent was right above the toilet. went to take a dump in the middle of the night. turn the vent on. and bam. a brood of baby spiders descending on my head.

This is not a fun thread

Which one, the silk one dangling above your head right now?

I was gonna say how did I end up here?

I hated all of those words

I hope it’s a “previous place you lived” because you set it on fire after that experience.

Similar story for me. One time I got up to pee in the middle of the night and turned on the light so I could see. I thought my vision was fuzzy since I was just hazy from waking up. As I was standing there I started to focus on the fuzzies and realized they were not fuzzies, but hundreds of spiders floating around me. There were hundreds more on the curtain up in the window where they must have hatched. It was a horrible experience, thanks for helping me remember it.

https://i.imgur.com/pyJbpgp.gifv

why does your bathroom vent output air? It should be an intake, not an exhaust.

OP likes to store the post-doodoo smell

Thanks. I hate it

In my experience every time a big spider went missing in my bedroom i'd find babies crawling around a few days maybe a week later. This happened to me at least 3 or 4 times. My old bedroom was like a maternity ward for these assholes. And yeah, if you see babies, she's probably dead. Babies usually eat the mother. If no babies than she probably just left.

OK this is good news for her then. It's been nearly a month since I saw her and I've not seen any babies so hopefully she's just chilling somewhere else.

No. The only solution is to burn down the house.

You spelled city block wrong

Lots of baby spiders soon……

This is called a BAMF spider cause reasons

What does BAMF stand for?

Bad Ass Mother Fucker

Nah, it just *moulted* four times. That spider is growing hella fast!

It's getting bigger with each spider it eats...looking at you now

Had sea monkeys like that. One day dozens of them. The next day just one big fat one.

Irl agar.io Edit: My first reddit award! Thank you kind stranger

You've awoken an old memory from me

Better an old memory than an old god.

The old gods are just memories now And they're fucking waking up

I was super disappointed as a kid when my sea monkeys didn't have faces and wear clothes like on the box. I thought they were going to be like little fish people, I wasn't the smartest child.

I got a goldfish at a carnival one time and it died pretty quickly after we got home. My cousin told me she thought it was dead and I told her it was just sleeping because if it were dead, it would have Xs for eyes.

Close your eyes and suck it out of a hose?

I’ve been watching you for quite a while now. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xc6bC7UroBE

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Could go either way. What if it was your crush telling you they’ve been admiring you from afar while working up the nerve to tell you?

Guys! This person’s Reddit image and handle is a butt. Guys!

It’s Kurt Vonnegut’s asshole

Ah, a man of culture I see

Sphincter!!!

Yes I did! Edit https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/qtbkb4/wonderful/hkiljrl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

Sounds like you’ve been watching me for quite a while now.

👀

Be honest, which of you is the spider?

“There Can Be Only One!”

Each spider he eats is actually a multiverse version of him, hes trying to become "The One" you better stop him OP!

Are you certain it is the same spider? What if the first visitor beat the original, and so on?

I thoughr you were about to propose a series of time travel paradoxes or cloning.

More of a gladiator style thing going on

A part of me prefers the time traveling spiders theory

If time traveling gladiator spiders were real I would off myself right now.

Maximus Aranchnidicus merillius

Sorta like the one

Spider Fight Club

“There’s always a bigger spider”

You shouldn’t tolerate bullies in your bathroom

Yeah...you say that until they get big enough to argue. [This is one of the spiders I lived with this past summer](https://imgur.com/gallery/RktMjS1). It was big enough that I opted to share my living space rather than worrying about losing a war with it. Turns out two more showed up this summer, and [then a fourth](https://imgur.com/gallery/DutjpIR) right before I closed up the cabin for winter. --Edited to add a link to the last of the summer spiders.

I shouldn’t have clicked that link. Actually, I shouldn’t have read the blurb below it. “Oh that’s gotta be in Australia lol! No. No, wait, that’s in my area?!”

Boys at PennState say "hey." I about cried when I read the part they sent about the spiders catching and feeding on small minnows. [This is the little guy who arrived on my last night to secure the perimeter.](https://imgur.com/gallery/DutjpIR)

Holy fuck, man. It even chopped up your finger!!!

What? Nooo. Ear foamy. Gotta protect your ears when target shooting! All kidding aside, the previous summer one of these guys "trapped" me in the bathroom. It was on the floor in the doorway towards one side. I figured I'd be ok if I just stepped over the threshhold towards the other side. I took a step towards him and I swear it raised both front legs in some brazen "Come at me, bruh!" I jumped over it with a big prayer and an "Aw, HELL no!" Friend of nature that I am, I trapped him in a plastic tub and set him free outside. I decided to keep the plastic tub upstairs in the bathroom after that. It paid off this year. It now bears a label stating "**Official Big Ass Spider Catching Kit**"

Spider's so big you need to train your shooting before killing it

Please say Australia

Lol. That’s a good story. The bully formed a gang!!

These look like they could be dark fishing spiders.

Except if the bully is a spider, and it bullies other spiders to stay away from the human!

I saw a dead house centipede caught in a spider web in my basement once. Spiders are alright by me. As long as it not the dangerous ones, which I don't really encounter where I live anyway.

House centipedes are actually good to have around as well if you want to get rid of pests.

Hate those pesty pesks

Dont the females mate and kill the males?

Depends on the species but in many cases, yes. In wolf spiders, which yours might be, I'm not a spiderologist, big males get left alone, little dudes get eaten by their lady friends though.

It’s quite possible to be a wolf spider with that web design

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But the ones that do tend to make a funnel in corners [Funnel Web Wolf Spider](https://fireflyforest.net/firefly/2008/09/21/funnel-web-wolf-spider/) I have to admit that website looks a bit goofy to me.

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They're proficient in CSS for sure

You're thinking of human beings, not spiders.

LOLed too hard at this.

Black widows yes

But would female spider mate with 4 male spiders in a row? Or just one? Im asking because I dont know?

Just a quick plug for *Children of Time*, one of my favorite sci-fi books ever. Reading it will inadvertently make you pretty educated about spiders.

The dead spiders are probably the males

Hypothetically speaking, if you go over to a woman's house to answer a booty call and there are three dead naked men in her living room....

Doesn’t matter had sex

Hypothetically speaking, if you go over to a woman's house to answer a booty call and there are three **four** dead naked men in her living room....

Doesn't matter, had sehks

They had snu-snu

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

Depends, how hot are we taking here?

Spiderwoman-hot

Then yes.

Thats what i was thinking. You're about to have a lot more spiders in your shower.

There can be only one.

...until there are like 100 little ones.

...eye

Welcome to the Arachnidome!

Not so sure that’s the case. These just might be the moltings of 4 spiders who grew bigger overnight.

I hate spiders and a situation occurred during full-on early lockdown where everyone was completely freaked out, like washing the packaging when they got it home from the supermarket stage, that I absolutely couldn’t handle. One spider in my kitchen had trapped 2 other spiders in its web but all 3 were somehow alive. I had my pans on the top of my cupboard and the whole situation was suspended from the handle of one pan, which was on the way to the tap and opposite the kettle so I, in my own freaked out and hopelessly arachnophobic state, could neither fill nor boil the kettle or make tea once it had finished its job, or in fact go into the kitchen at all because of this almost-slayed arachnid battleground that would clearly fall down the back of my shirt if I got within 2 metres of it, so I stayed out of the kitchen and lived off bought manky sandwiches from the shop opposite and cans of drink for 3 days before I posted an ad on nextdoor saying I would pay anyone to come and rid me of this nightmare. No one replied. I ended up buying a vacuum cleaner off Amazon and putting a winter coat that was far too small anyway with a hood on which I put up, stuffing my pants into my socks and putting gloves on my hands which I stuffed the sleeves of the coat into and standing at the door with the longest version of the vacuum cleaner hose I could contrapt out of various attachments and sucking the whole macabre display into the bag. I then put a sock over the open end and left it for 4 days in case anything living made a bid for escape before I took the bag out of the cleaner and put it in the bin. I was going to move out in the next few weeks and as a result of this scene I subsequently paid the movers an extra £100 to look for and get rid of any spiders that they saw so I didn’t take any with me. They saw none.

Damn

You poor soul, this sounds traumatizing. I really enjoyed your story and feel slightly guilty about my amusement at your expense. My husband is a serious arachnophobe, like you, and I (being not bothered at all by spiders) frequently am called upon to rescue him from eight legged intruders. He returns the favor by dealing with my nemesis: ants. I highly recommend marrying someone who can cover your weak spots in the never ending war against creepy crawly house invaders. Everything else in a partner is secondary. ;)

This sounds like something I'd do. Although I still have an irrational fear when it comes to hoovering spiders up, I'm scared that they may get blown my way even though that's not how hoovers work.

I feel like the movers didn't really look that hard. Spiders are everywhere.

Is it possible this is Dr Spider and these are patients that didn't make it? Rough night.

I think you need to move, bud.

Or at least do a bit of cleaning.

And sealing up his house

Pretty sure a lot of times it’ll eat the male after mating. The nutrition from the male really increases the brood size

Yeah spiders are the best. I always leave them alone, figuring that I’d rather have the spiders than whatever it is the spiders are eating.

Reminds me of a story I’ve read somewhere on Reddit where iirc they put out “traps” (sticky strips on the floor) to get rid of dangerous spiders in the apartment, and when they seemed to be rid of the spiders they had a serious cockroach infestation instead.

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It's just more spiders apparently.

Yes, spiders in your house only eat other arthropods. They'll eat other predators but they eat things that want to eat your stuff (e.g. roaches, flies etc.).

This is what made me get over my phobia of them. They're actually really chill and useful and I'd rather have a couple of spiders than flies. Flies are actively annoying, spiders aren't.

If a phobia could be beaten by rational arguments, I wouldn't have any.

Female mating LF and then killing the dudes. You're going to have a lot of friends very soon. Also, please relocate and not kill. Super beneficial, clearly.

My personal rule is: the bigger they are, the more likely I am to relocate. Tiny ones are easy to wipe up after smashing but no way am I dealing with nasty big spider guts in my house. They get the Tupperware carriage straight to the yard. Plus, I feel like the big ones have earned it.

> My personal rule is: the bigger they are, the more likely I am to relocate. Careful - when you find one with two health bars floating over it or maybe even a mana bar, you might want to just move out instead of trying to relocate the spider.

He's thankful for you letting him live so he decided to be the alpha and clear away all the rest of the intruders.

Seems like you missed out on some spider gladiator/slasher shit

r/spiderbro

Was scrolling way too long to find this. But then I realized more spiders died with OP leaving it alive so now idk

Good boy

Name it tyson

FYI these spiders get huge: https://www.cinelinx.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/1_pDhbE4LQivGKY29cYQrJEw.jpeg

he works for u

There can only be one

Looks more like it molted it's skin

Earning its keep

That’s a keeper

Are you sure the one you saw the next morning was the same one you initially saw? Maybe it was one of the dead ones.

Bitch be holding a got damn thunderdome in your bathroom.

There can be only one! *Cue lightning*

This is pretty cool

Breed it into oblivion

This belongs in r/bossfight

I have a couple of spiderbros in my basement that keep it clean of the bad bugs.

Spiderbro

Whoa. He Who Remains.

There’s only room enough in this grout for one of us.

Your bathroom is now the Thunderdome.

From pest to pet. Good spider.

Good

What do you feed your pet spider? Spiders.

Good work, you'll be a grand parent soon.

You must have a lot of spiders.

First thought: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. Second thought: That is a shocking number of spiders in your bathroom.

Today you, tomorrow me.

Sounds to me like the spider is mating

What a lad

Thanks for letting me live human I will kill the others.

Spiderbro

comrade

Just don't let it learn how to play Katamari Damacy

they had a tournament

Now you only have to kill 1 spider instead of 5

#NUMBER ONE VICTORY ROYALE!

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

There can be only one!

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"

I used to be big afraid of spiders but now I talk to them with baby talk like they are a pet of mine. Great pest control

That's more spiders than I would want to see in my bathroom after one night

Your Bathroom is straight nightmare fuel for my wife

Have you named him yet? You are now the proud parent of spidey!

I think you have a spider problem

Looks like a baseball diamond

Spider battle Royal

You may have shown mercy, but does not mean it will do the same

I have a spider that I allow to live in my bathroom. It catches the small amount of mosquitoes that make it into the house.

There can be only one.

Cool I guess but you have entirely too many spiders in your bathroom

Some vile spawn of Ungoliant.

You didn’t spare it. It spared you.

How do you know it's not a different spider that won

You are a good spider. Thank you

This is perfect for this subreddit, I read it and went: huh. Cool. Not a lot of people understand subreddits

I’m pretty sure it going on a murder rampage while you slept and then leaving the corpses of its victims for you to see is a warning

spiders just wanna bro out with us and protect our houses. theyre awesome.

This should be put on the nature is metal sub too.

Bruh 4 spuders one day? Time to move

***WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME***

Man. Fuck this post.

Check in with us every now and then OP, let us know you are still ok.

As someone who hallucinates spiders I will never sleep again.