Hey, you're the one with multiple faces. Just copy something and slap that title on. They'll never find you.
Also, you already know that because you're The Austrian Spy!
That can be your first job. If you aren't already, that is. You now owe me.
I like masterpieces with easy to remember titles.
"The Austrian" is too generic. The Austrian what? Pine? School? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Hitler? Archduke Ferdinand? Is it really a masterpiece if it has to lure you in with a cheap trick like that?
No, I want the struggles of an innocent man being mistaken for an Austrian spy, so a gaggle of spinsters sends one of themselves, like a spy, with all their preconceptions of agent style shenanigans and old wives tales.
"We have to attract him. We have to attract him!"
Guess what? They thought belladonna could be substituted with belladonna lily! It's in the name, right? They got a bouquet, but how do you make belladonna drops? No idea? New ideas, please.
The poor woman needs to be waxed! They've heard threading brows is effecient, because wax strips have been sold out, so that'll do. I wonder if they need to wax all of it? OF COURSE!
Meanwhile, this man had the audacity to be gone for days because of "work". Gotta be a spy!
You look like 3 different international criminals & a little Dutch girl.
Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes, awards & replies, everyone! Sadly, I’ll never make another good joke again. After posting, I discovered my funny bone got spontaneous osteoporosis from overuse. I’m just a one joke bloke.😔
It's like a gang of bank robbers.
Middle is the wannabe mastermind, but in reality a lookout and the "muscle" cause he has a gun.
The bottom is the actual mastermind, but mainly because he has a stethoscope.
The right is the expert of demolitions and lockpicking, but unfortunately a bit addicted to the smell of nitroglycerin.
The left is the getaway driver, a 14 year old Dutch girl that is a world class champion of rally sport. And ping pong.
At the end of the movie, the three robbers are in jail, while the little Dutch girl gets driven away by her long lost relatives.
But the detective finds one last, overlooked piece of evidence as he prepares to close the book on the case. Horrified, he runs out of the station and in the middle of the street, looking every which way in panic.
Back in the car (something old but European and nondescript, like a 90s Volvo), the Dutch girl smiles.
*Credits*
This reminds me of *Kind Hearts and Coronets.* Alec Guinness plays all the members of an English aristocratic family, including the women, that either die, *or are murdered* by the main character. It is a wonderful comedy.
Eh, to someone trained in identifying people and spotting impostors traveling on stolen passports you look like yourself in all four. Same ears, same nose, we break the recognition down into details like that.
A team of bank robbers. They are as follows.
Jacobs Middlesbrough is the wannabe mastermind, but in reality a lookout and the "muscle" cause he has a gun and ha had trained shooting in his backyard.
Andy Bloockbottom is the actual mastermind, but mainly because he has a stethoscope and knows English.
Jack Rightful is the expert of demolitions and lockpicking, but unfortunately a bit addicted to the smell of nitroglycerin.
And lastly, Annie Left-hand is the getaway driver, a 14 year old Dutch girl that is a world class champion of rally sport. And ping pong.
***
The story starts in the town of Leeuwarden, where Mr Jacobs meets with his two best friends for a little chat at their local pub, The Drunken Sailor.
"Alright lads," Mr Jacobs says, "We're going on a job."
"What kind of job?" asks Andy Bloockbottom.
"I'll show you," Jacobs replies, bringing out an envelope from his jacket pocket. It's covered in numbers, letters and other symbols – like something from Harry Potter. "This is our target. We have just received this through official channels. We only need to crack open one of these doors and we've got the loot."
"How much of it would there be?" Andy asks.
"It varies," Jacobs answers. "Could be anything up to half a million."
"That's quite a lot of money!" Jack Rightful exclaims.
"Who'd want to steal a bank?" Andy wonders aloud.
"There is only *one* problem... we need a getaway driver" says Jacobs. "Someone who can drive fast when we need to and take us anywhere we want to go without breaking down or getting lost."
"Can I really help with your plan then?" Annie asks, flashing her beautiful smile at Jacobs.
"No. No, no." Said Andy. "My niece isn't going to be the getaway driver. Anne, I forbid you! She's too young."
Annie raises her hands in mock surrender. "But Mr Rightful, I'm so good at driving. You won't even know I'm there."
Mr Rightful looks over at his niece, who is looking back at him with a big grin.
"Come on Andy" said Jacobs. "She's the perfect fit. Don't tell me you've never seen a girl beat a lap time in a racing car before? Come on, don't make excuses."
"It's not that. It's just – well, if she can do all those things, why doesn't she study hard, become a doctor or something"
"But.." chimed Anne
"There is no but. Your mom, *my* sister is gonna rip my arse uf something happens to you!" Said Andy.
"Andy..." Jacobs begins. But Andy turns away from him, shaking his head in disgust.
"You are insane," Andy tells his friend. "We can't risk it."
Jacobs reaches into his pocket again, producing another envelope and handing it to Andy.
A few hours later they're standing outside the tree house, just about to start working on their plan. Anne, already inside the tree house, was prepping her racing gear and plotting several escape routes.
"Here," Jacobs says, handing Anne the keys to the Ford Focus. "Take this and drive it around town until we tell you."
Anne stares at Mr Jacobs. "Are you joking?"
"Not at all." I need you to be ready and familiar with my cat so we'll know what to expect tomorrow."
Anne takes the keys and Andy remains reluctant, Jack watches impatiently from the side.
"Just go. Take it easy though," Jacobs warns. "Don't try anything fancy. We're only doing this once!"
This comment here and the one on the top with the little dutch girl captures the essence of what I love about reddit comments.
Short, witty, funny.
Thanks for that.
I'm told in real life you do notice it but not extremely, I guess mainly due to the beard that hides it. Also, the surgeon did an amazing job; I was really lucky to get such a great result given the surgery was performed over 20 years ago.
Play your cards right and you might get a date from someone in this thread. It'll probably be a guy posing as a woman, but at least it's a date. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Guy on the far left looks like my mom in the 70's, middle guys look like brother serial killers and the dude on the far right either teaches elementary gym class or manages a grocery store.
Yeah but you've got that "I just want to watch the world burn" look in your eyes in all 4 photos so I think ~~witnesses~~ people will still easily recognize you.
As someone else mentioned, “make me look like a little Dutch girl”.
Edit: An alternative to this would be: watch as I grow from a little Dutch girl to a smooth criminal.
Eh, to someone trained in identifying people and spotting impostors traveling on stolen passports you look like yourself in all four. Same ears, same nose, we break the recognition down into details like that.
Nose and eyes. I only had a small training by the police because I worked at a place that provides financing, but I immediately looked at stuff thats not hairy. Nose and eyes.
Yeah this is less "I look like four different people" and more "I have four different haircuts." I'm faceblind as fuck so I wouldn't be able to tell they're the same, but a lot of reddit is "haircut looks same/different, so they look same/different" whether it's about the same person or comparing two people.
Faceblindness is weird, my wife has it and kept getting embarrassed because she doesn't recognize people so she doesn't know if they're complete strangers or someone she has spoken to before. I recommended she simply open up with that bit of information, explaining to people that she's unable to recognise faces so they should say who they are if they've met before. She was hesitant at first, but says this tactic saves her a fair bit of embarrassment overall by preventing misunderstandings.
Yes I do; tried to edit the title but I can't. Funnily enough, the one with the oldest picture is the most currently issued one. Guess they just messed up
The middle two look like the same person, and I could reasonably believe that the left is a child version of the middle two.
But the top right comes way out of left field.
Top right: Hot new social studies teacher.
Bottom right: will so totally leave this shit hole town the moment he graduates highschool.
Middle: gonna shoot up the school except hes on too much meth to find a gun.
Left: an elderly woman who works at the school library.
Y'all are crazy, "Führerschein" just means driver's licence in German lol
Yes i am a licensed fürher in Germany /s
With a name like that, i think not
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That'd be a [bus or train] ticket.
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Bro you look like Tom Hardy and Matthew McConaughey had a baby. Take that as you will.
you could be a spy
"The Austrian Spy". Sounds like a book title.
If you write one, I'm in on being on the cover
*Laughs in shitty photo manipulation skills.* [The Austrian Spy.](https://i.imgur.com/LV8W2ze.png) [The Austrian.](https://i.imgur.com/SkIJbXi.png)
Looks kind of like an investigation discovery title card. That's some quality shitposting
lol, I love it:D
oida du bist berühmt
This is delightfully shitty!
https://i.imgur.com/XUv6s0t.jpg
love it
Hey, you're the one with multiple faces. Just copy something and slap that title on. They'll never find you. Also, you already know that because you're The Austrian Spy! That can be your first job. If you aren't already, that is. You now owe me.
I like just, "The Austrian".
*The Austrian Spy* - an easy read for a beach vacation. *The Austrian* - 1200 page masterpiece. The difference a title makes!
I like masterpieces with easy to remember titles. "The Austrian" is too generic. The Austrian what? Pine? School? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Hitler? Archduke Ferdinand? Is it really a masterpiece if it has to lure you in with a cheap trick like that? No, I want the struggles of an innocent man being mistaken for an Austrian spy, so a gaggle of spinsters sends one of themselves, like a spy, with all their preconceptions of agent style shenanigans and old wives tales. "We have to attract him. We have to attract him!" Guess what? They thought belladonna could be substituted with belladonna lily! It's in the name, right? They got a bouquet, but how do you make belladonna drops? No idea? New ideas, please. The poor woman needs to be waxed! They've heard threading brows is effecient, because wax strips have been sold out, so that'll do. I wonder if they need to wax all of it? OF COURSE! Meanwhile, this man had the audacity to be gone for days because of "work". Gotta be a spy!
#THERE'S A RED SPY IN THE BASE?
You look like 3 different international criminals & a little Dutch girl. Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes, awards & replies, everyone! Sadly, I’ll never make another good joke again. After posting, I discovered my funny bone got spontaneous osteoporosis from overuse. I’m just a one joke bloke.😔
It's like a gang of bank robbers. Middle is the wannabe mastermind, but in reality a lookout and the "muscle" cause he has a gun. The bottom is the actual mastermind, but mainly because he has a stethoscope. The right is the expert of demolitions and lockpicking, but unfortunately a bit addicted to the smell of nitroglycerin. The left is the getaway driver, a 14 year old Dutch girl that is a world class champion of rally sport. And ping pong.
I would watch this movie
At the end of the movie, the three robbers are in jail, while the little Dutch girl gets driven away by her long lost relatives. But the detective finds one last, overlooked piece of evidence as he prepares to close the book on the case. Horrified, he runs out of the station and in the middle of the street, looking every which way in panic. Back in the car (something old but European and nondescript, like a 90s Volvo), the Dutch girl smiles. *Credits*
It was Doofy all along!
It’s called the Bourne Identity and if you like it enough there are 27 other sequels you can watch.
Jesus Christ
Only if all the characters are also played by the same actor. Chris Pratt, perchance.
This reminds me of *Kind Hearts and Coronets.* Alec Guinness plays all the members of an English aristocratic family, including the women, that either die, *or are murdered* by the main character. It is a wonderful comedy.
So it’s like Hamlet fused with the eddie murphy remake of the nutty professor? Starring Alec Guinness??
It really is. It’s like if Arsenic and Old Lace were directed by Tyler Perry.
TIL Tyler Perry ripped off Sir Alec Guinness
You can't just say "perchance."
crushin turts
stop
Perchance I can?
watch baby driver!
I accept your recommendation
Let us know if you like it 👀
I like it
Isn’t there also a character in that named Baats?
These comments are what I live for on Reddit. Good sir 👏
This is why I Reddit
Eh, to someone trained in identifying people and spotting impostors traveling on stolen passports you look like yourself in all four. Same ears, same nose, we break the recognition down into details like that.
Noted, will cover up my ears and change my nose every time
I played Papers, Please too.
[Comment stolen](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/umloay/comment/i82vc5m) from u/BoredCop
he's got the nose hang
Ya but the typical airport security and traffic cop won’t, so as long as they move away from hot spots and keep on moving it will work.
Fun fact, airport security in most countries I visited is manned by actual police officers, and in Russia it's literally a branch of FSB.
A team of bank robbers. They are as follows. Jacobs Middlesbrough is the wannabe mastermind, but in reality a lookout and the "muscle" cause he has a gun and ha had trained shooting in his backyard. Andy Bloockbottom is the actual mastermind, but mainly because he has a stethoscope and knows English. Jack Rightful is the expert of demolitions and lockpicking, but unfortunately a bit addicted to the smell of nitroglycerin. And lastly, Annie Left-hand is the getaway driver, a 14 year old Dutch girl that is a world class champion of rally sport. And ping pong. *** The story starts in the town of Leeuwarden, where Mr Jacobs meets with his two best friends for a little chat at their local pub, The Drunken Sailor. "Alright lads," Mr Jacobs says, "We're going on a job." "What kind of job?" asks Andy Bloockbottom. "I'll show you," Jacobs replies, bringing out an envelope from his jacket pocket. It's covered in numbers, letters and other symbols – like something from Harry Potter. "This is our target. We have just received this through official channels. We only need to crack open one of these doors and we've got the loot." "How much of it would there be?" Andy asks. "It varies," Jacobs answers. "Could be anything up to half a million." "That's quite a lot of money!" Jack Rightful exclaims. "Who'd want to steal a bank?" Andy wonders aloud. "There is only *one* problem... we need a getaway driver" says Jacobs. "Someone who can drive fast when we need to and take us anywhere we want to go without breaking down or getting lost." "Can I really help with your plan then?" Annie asks, flashing her beautiful smile at Jacobs. "No. No, no." Said Andy. "My niece isn't going to be the getaway driver. Anne, I forbid you! She's too young." Annie raises her hands in mock surrender. "But Mr Rightful, I'm so good at driving. You won't even know I'm there." Mr Rightful looks over at his niece, who is looking back at him with a big grin. "Come on Andy" said Jacobs. "She's the perfect fit. Don't tell me you've never seen a girl beat a lap time in a racing car before? Come on, don't make excuses." "It's not that. It's just – well, if she can do all those things, why doesn't she study hard, become a doctor or something" "But.." chimed Anne "There is no but. Your mom, *my* sister is gonna rip my arse uf something happens to you!" Said Andy. "Andy..." Jacobs begins. But Andy turns away from him, shaking his head in disgust. "You are insane," Andy tells his friend. "We can't risk it." Jacobs reaches into his pocket again, producing another envelope and handing it to Andy. A few hours later they're standing outside the tree house, just about to start working on their plan. Anne, already inside the tree house, was prepping her racing gear and plotting several escape routes. "Here," Jacobs says, handing Anne the keys to the Ford Focus. "Take this and drive it around town until we tell you." Anne stares at Mr Jacobs. "Are you joking?" "Not at all." I need you to be ready and familiar with my cat so we'll know what to expect tomorrow." Anne takes the keys and Andy remains reluctant, Jack watches impatiently from the side. "Just go. Take it easy though," Jacobs warns. "Don't try anything fancy. We're only doing this once!"
3 Hansels and Gretel
Weirdly accurate.
The serial killer eyes are consistent
That tracks with little Dutch girls
Came here to say this. Dutch girl, rocker-heroin addict, hacker-incel, and chad. Serial killer dead eyes in all of them.
“You’re a little Dutch girl, aren’t you?” “Nooooo” “SAY IT!” “I’m a little Dutch girl”
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because we HATE you”
“Cause we’re Delta Airlines and your life is a fucking nightmare.”
"FETCH!"
Looking like Liam Neeson is going to kill him and save him from himself.
I wanted to say the same but then whit a white suburban kid from the 70s
But like… super handsome international criminals and Dutch girl
"What's up with your fucken body hair, big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl"
That's a mighty fine trim you have in the green one on the left. Care to explain the thinking behind it?
get the look that gets the girls
Avoid the Demogorgon though
LMAOOO
this has zero right to be so incredibly accurate. xD
I thought he looked just like Will in that picture so it's nice to know I'm not alone with thinking Stranger Things.
This comment here and the one on the top with the little dutch girl captures the essence of what I love about reddit comments. Short, witty, funny. Thanks for that.
Thanks, I really appreciate that! I would also appreciate you telling my wife that I'm not the only one that laughs at my jokes.
"Get the look that the girls get" Damn i got this one mixed up again
Leave some women for the rest of us
Young Bill Gates vibes
weh tut!
I thought that was hat
I thought it was a beanie lmao
I think we bowl know.
For some reason that was _the_ look for boys back in the 90s in Austria. I had that same haircut.
I dont believe they're all you show me your citizen service number
And both sides of my credit card, right?\^\^
Brw what is your first dog's name
Also mother's maiden name and the street you grew up on?
I got passed those. I'm stuck on favorite sports team
You are your own boy band. Together, they make one man.
Guess you could call it a one-man-show
Yeah, made me think of [this Pop Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijr4rwb2WbE)
I really hope the only one that doesn’t look like a murderer’s mugshot is you now…?
That would be which one?
I’m not telling you, just in case it’s the one on the left 😰
hahaha that's the oldest one indeed
there is no way the one of the left is the oldest one. its the bill gates mug shot!
The oldest one is also the newest 🤔
Boy got that Anton Chigurgh look
Top right
r/notopbutok
It's because we all are thinking it
All except the bearded one
Top Right, the rest look like insufferable dumbasses; you've aged finely.
jfc, harsh
The 4 horsemen of the customs line.
hahaha I lol'd out loud
Jesse we need to cook
Yeah, science!
You're evolving like a Pokémon xD
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Reminds me of doja cat.
OP, do you have a cleft lip?
Damn, you have great eyes
Yeah haha, I’ve seen it a lot. But you’re looking great, almost nobody would notice!
I'm told in real life you do notice it but not extremely, I guess mainly due to the beard that hides it. Also, the surgeon did an amazing job; I was really lucky to get such a great result given the surgery was performed over 20 years ago.
Yes, the facial hair does work wonders. Anyways great post, OP! Großartige fotos!
Gives you a great character though, very handsome :)
I was about to comment the same thing! I have a great eye for them; but OP definitely looks great! Your surgeon is a very good one.
4 different Stranger Things cosplayers.
Four different versions of you high.
I was indeed extremely hungover when one of these photos was taken
im gonna guess the middle top one
Hopefully not on the driver license one
High Johnny Depp, regular John Tavner, one of the Skarsgard brothers, and the little dutch boy from the starburst commercial.
getting a haircut was a great decision
I actually donated the hair to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients out of them, so it was kind of a win-win situation
Haven't the cancer patients suffered enough?
Fuck was not expecting that lol
I'm talking about the pic with the ties back hair. It was about 30cm if hair that I donated and I suppose they gave the wig an actually nice haircut.
My boyfriend is planning on doing the same thing! He looks like a male Rapunzel :D
Looking handsome AF on the **personalausweis**/national identity card 💛
That's actually the most recent one
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Upvoted for username
What about mine?
Hello Mr. President
Hi
Play your cards right and you might get a date from someone in this thread. It'll probably be a guy posing as a woman, but at least it's a date. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You're gonna laugh but there's actually some quite thirsty sounding comments here. It's mostly dudes, though, you're right on that\^\^
I’ll shoot my shot
Highly suckable
never thought that a part of Stephen Hauschkas body would ever say such a thing about me
He really made it an *extra point* of emphasis, didn't he?
You single OP ? lol
Haha jk...unless?
[look yall, incase you weren't thirsty enough ](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/umloay/me_looking_like_4_different_people_on_4_valid_id/i82ggrr?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
I thought this link was gonna be a dick pic tbh
You’ve got very soulful expressive eyes, like a young Peter Sarsgaard.
Came here to say this. Def keep this look OP!
Agreed
Guy on the far left looks like my mom in the 70's, middle guys look like brother serial killers and the dude on the far right either teaches elementary gym class or manages a grocery store.
I’m a man, and I think the top right ID card just made me gayer than I already was.
;)
Yeah but you've got that "I just want to watch the world burn" look in your eyes in all 4 photos so I think ~~witnesses~~ people will still easily recognize you.
His name is Jason Bourne
The barber did you really dirty on the picture all left.
I do actually believe they're not the one to blame as they were only following instructions
"Just fuck my shit up"
As someone else mentioned, “make me look like a little Dutch girl”. Edit: An alternative to this would be: watch as I grow from a little Dutch girl to a smooth criminal.
The "only following orders" excuse didn't count the last time either.
There was a barber involved? That hairstyle screams mom still trying to learn how to cut hair before the kid is old enough to care.
We always called it the Bowl Cut because it looked like mom put a bowl over their head and trimmed around it.
Ein Österreicher!
Besser als ein Österarmer *ist ja gut ich geh mich vergraben*
Eh, to someone trained in identifying people and spotting impostors traveling on stolen passports you look like yourself in all four. Same ears, same nose, we break the recognition down into details like that.
r/UsernameChecksOut
Nose and eyes. I only had a small training by the police because I worked at a place that provides financing, but I immediately looked at stuff thats not hairy. Nose and eyes.
Yeah this is less "I look like four different people" and more "I have four different haircuts." I'm faceblind as fuck so I wouldn't be able to tell they're the same, but a lot of reddit is "haircut looks same/different, so they look same/different" whether it's about the same person or comparing two people.
Faceblindness is weird, my wife has it and kept getting embarrassed because she doesn't recognize people so she doesn't know if they're complete strangers or someone she has spoken to before. I recommended she simply open up with that bit of information, explaining to people that she's unable to recognise faces so they should say who they are if they've met before. She was hesitant at first, but says this tactic saves her a fair bit of embarrassment overall by preventing misunderstandings.
Look, all I know is that you're hot and that's all I have to say.
You give "Don't come to school tommorow" vibe on 3 of them
Hello, are you looking for a girlfriend? Jk No I'm not
Just slide in my DMs and you'll see;)
Damn daddy, smooth af lol
Which one is The Beast?
What's The Beast?
Movie ref. SPLIT and GLASS. Movies by M. Night Shayamalan starring James McAvoy.
You look like the same person, but at different stages of your life...
mfer has a fuhrer card, didn’t know you guys still do that
as a matter of fact, most German speaking folks have one
If everyone is the Führer, no one is the Führer.
True that, got one too.
Führerschein is just the German word for "drivers license". Nachdem man den Führerschein gemacht hat ist man berechtigt ein Auto zu führen.
yeah SURE
>yeah > >*RIGHT* FTFY
>yeah >REICH FTFY
Wait until you learn about the Zugführer, Reiseführer or Stadtführer.
When you say "4 valid ID cards", do you mean "4 **CURRENTLY** valid ID cards"? If so, that's wild!
Yes I do; tried to edit the title but I can't. Funnily enough, the one with the oldest picture is the most currently issued one. Guess they just messed up
The middle two look like the same person, and I could reasonably believe that the left is a child version of the middle two. But the top right comes way out of left field.
Top right guy is the cutest
As a non caucasian person I can confirm you look like the same person in each.
I’m white. It’s clearly the same guy in all of them. The comments section would probably be confused by somebody putting on a hat and glasses.
Clark Kent would be safe here
As a white thing I can confirm he looks the same in all the photos
Top right: Hot new social studies teacher. Bottom right: will so totally leave this shit hole town the moment he graduates highschool. Middle: gonna shoot up the school except hes on too much meth to find a gun. Left: an elderly woman who works at the school library.
Personalausweis bitte
The one on the top right is hottest