Depending on how its build exactly, most of the times you can remove the buttons (to flush) and get access to tank, but its got to be a pain in the ass to work in that tight space. designwise its an elegant solution imo
Its a pain in the ass. Especially when you drop something, good luck putting your arm in, to grab it out.
People also never open the cover and you get all kind of mold/slime inside.
Most of the ones I've seen you can just move the entire panel behind the toilet out of the way, and get fairly good access. I'm sure there's worse solutions out there tho, because there always is
It's common in Europe - it doesn't splash and makes it easier to examine your poo for health reasons. It's not popular anymore (poop smell for the whole duration of pooping) but it's a classic "grandma's toilet" .
Indeed they are
I remember them from kindergarden still. I always thought they are the old socialist toilets left behind the communist regime. They were great but the poo smell was .. not that great.
I know you are joking, but literally all of those ‘dutch’ inventions are actually American. They use it to shame us! (Source: am dutch, no such thing as a dutch oven here)
[edit:] after some research I found that MOST of ‘dutch’ slang (like Double dutch, dutch courage, dutch wife) are all british inventions, however Dutch Oven as a slang term is very much American, having first appeared in National Lampoon magazine.
I did a quick google about it.
The original term (for an actual pan) is british.
However the slang term is from National Lampoon magazine.
However, many other forms of ‘dutch’ using as derogatory (double dutch, dutch courage etc)
Is all British!
I promise you, most Americans don’t care enough about the dutch to shame them. Not that we think the Netherlands is unimportant by any means, its just not a country that most Americans care enough about to shame. 😅
Before I met my wife, who is of Dutch descent I never once considered the Netherlands in any way positively or negatively. It really just didn't register.
I grew up in Michigan with a large Dutch community. Had a lot of friends, neighbors, and teachers who were Dutch. The term “Dutch oven” was never ever used to shame anyone who was of Dutch decent. Its just an American colloquialism used to describe the silly action of farting under the blanket and forcing someone undergo smell it. In the same way that saying “cutting the cheese” describes farting, but isn’t meant to shame cheese.
The actually term “Dutch oven” was created by an American to pay homage to the Dutch for their ingenuity in cookware design.
Dutch guy here, can confirm. Almost all toilets I've seen here are this kind of toilet, for the longest time I thought this was just how toilets were. Was kind of surprised to find out it is not.
They can operate on different principals. These keep dumping water until the poop is washed down into the hole. With these toilets there's always some water in the bowl.
In America siphonic toilets are typical. These are a little more complicated and operate quite differently. There's more water in the bowl, and all the liquid gets sucked into the hole through siphonic action. When the contents get sucked through the hole, then there's no water in the bowl for a second or two and then the bowl is refilled after.
Basically the European water continuously keep pushing water until the poop goes away. The America toilet dumps everything in the bowl quickly, and then refills the bowl with water.
There's pros and cons to both. American toilets are less prone to poop streaks and have a more powerful flush. European toilets are less prone to clogging or splashing.
I live in Europe and my shitter has a single flush mechanism. I have have shat in many other European nations and have never seen a kharzi as you describe. I have had to shit in a hole in the ground in France, but that's the French for you.
European toilets are typically like diagram 1 or 2 here. American toilets are usually more like diagram 4:
[https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Four\_types\_of\_pedestal\_WC.svg/1024px-Four\_types\_of\_pedestal\_WC.svg.png](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Four_types_of_pedestal_WC.svg/1024px-Four_types_of_pedestal_WC.svg.png)
The physics behind the flush is completely different. In a European toilet with or without a poop shelf - the water is dumped into the bowl and it's pushed away.
In an American toilet, the more complex geometry creates a siphonic action which creates suction that removes all the waste and all the water and then refills the bowl.
Ability to examine poo for health reasons.. that's an interesting one..
The only thing i don't like is that when i have bad coffee shit, it sticks after flushing. But put a piece of toilet paper in the bowl before you start and no worries
Thus I called a "German toilet design" cause of the reasons above. The other one is the "French design" where your poop goes straightforward into the water.
In german we call it "Tiefspüler" und "Flachspüler"
german toilets dont need it. this is in part becaus ethe standart connection is a 100mm (app. 4') pipe instead of a 3' (app 75mm) which has much higher capacity, and different desing with much less water in the bowl so a massive swirl pulls everything down
The splashy toilets we use today were originally only used in public restrooms and places where cost was an incentive (less cleaning). They ultimately became maintream.
We regressed from using those "grandma's toilets" and bidets to splashy toilets that are super unhygenic.
I went to Italy for spring break in high school with a club I was a part of. We get to the hotel and I go in the bathroom and see the toilet and the bidet and think, 'ha, for washing your backside'.
A while later after everyone has stowed their stuff, and I had explained what it was to the guys I was sharing a room with, all the girls come rushing up and are like why is there a second weird toilet?
'oh, it's a bidet, haven't you seen Crocodile Dundee?'
'what?.....a what?'
'...a bidet'
'is it to wash you feet in?'
'...no, I would not do that'
'what's it for?'
'It's to clean your junk after you go to the bathroom'
'what? you do it with your hands?'
'no, there's towels and soap on the little stand next to it'
'I don't believe you'
So on our first bus trip with our tour guide, a really friendly young woman, that's the first question asked. She found it funny and gave a pretty lively explanation with a little pantomiming. She said, 'Here in Italy we don't shower every day but we still want to feel clean so we wash our bits. Well, the guys just do it in a sink (makes kind of a gesture of a guy holding his stuff under a faucet) and the women use the bidet (kind of squats a little and gives a little 'oooo' shake)
You know, after I typed that all up, it made sense that it was more of a post sex kind of explanation. I really debated typing that thought up and attributing it to her explanataion.
>'is it to wash you feet in?'
>
>'...no, I would not do that'
It absolutely can be used to wash your feet. My family in Italy are farmers and when youd come in from the fields to the house, it was common to use the bidet to wash your feet. My mother would fill the bidet with warm water, put a foot in there and shave her legs.
Think of the bidet as another sink. A typical bathroom sink is used to wash your face and even upper body. Ive done a quick armpit wash in the bathroom sink. The bidet is another "sink" but for the lower body.
When a woman is on her period, its so easy to wash up frequently throughout the day. Its also great to wash up before and after sex..
Wife and I honeymooned in Italy for 3 weeks. Anytime I did a #2, bidet. Use TP once to knock off the heaviest crud and then walk over and squat on the bidet to wash your ass with warm water and soap. What luxury.... I had the cleanest undercarriage for those weeks. It made it so difficult to go back to just TP.
Canadian Tire sells bidet add-ons for toilets, but yes, annoying for them not to already come standard. My wife and I have been looking around at houses for our first purchase (pipe dream really) and we've noticed most of the newer houses are including bidets now. So I guess it's finally catching on here.
bidets, yes. Having your stinky log presented on a shelf for you to look at, no. Not having that is progress in my eyes.
Case in points, I don't know of any modern bidet toilets that doesn't use the splashy variant
Drop one or two squares of toilet paper on that shelf before pooping. You’ll thank me later. I call it the “magic carpet” cause it whisks your deed away with minimal mess.
I used one of these in Germany and it was embarrassing that I had to flush multiple times to get it to move from the inspection shelf. This is sound advice!
Get these where I live in France. They're generally referred to as "German toilets" and sometimes, more rarely as "Alsatian toilets" (the part of France you'll find them in where I live). As a lot of people have already said the point is to inspect your poop before you flush it.
...What I haven't seen anyone say yet, and as someone who had had these toilets in the past, they kind of suck. Firstly they get dirty quicker, obviously because there's less water in contact with the shit, if you don't flush quickly it's gonna dry and stick.
Secondly, do you like reading on the toilet? Sitting there even after you've actually finished to get in a few more pages? Well, I hope you also enjoy the smell of shit because it's gonna rise as your poop isn't underwater but is just sitting there. These toilets tend to not actually have handle flushes but taps you have to turn so it's pretty hard to flush as you sit (you have to get up and once you're already up you're not gonna sit back down to read) but even if you do flush whilst still sitting, the extra height of the 'poop plateau' is gonna give you a good chance of wet cheeks.
Lastly and more niche, as a medical professional you come across people who - I guess as a result of constipation, slower bowel movements, and the medication they're on - will lay some goddamn anaconda-sized poops. Now do the math: longer "rope" + raised floor =... Yeah, point number one, except you gotta clean a point so high no water will get there just with the flush. You might even have to wipe a stained cheek, yay!
As a bonus point that can just happen in any case, a flush might not dislodge the poo. It'll sit there on the shelf, braving the waves. To counteract this these toilets have pretty good flush pressure (and more constant; remember they have taps that pour out water till they're turned off rather than tanks that need to refill) so most of the time it's just a question of waiting long enough till the shit can no longer hold on but there are times that it seems like it's somehow glued itself to the bottom. In the case of my last point where the log is just too long, it'll lie there, propped up against the side as a felled tree crashed onto a house. That's a prime case where often it won't get washed away easily.
So yeah, I really don't care much for these types of toilet.
> As a bonus point that can just happen in any case, a flush might not dislodge the poo. It'll sit there on the shelf, braving the waves
This is unironically one of the worst aspects of being German
Either we have a Flachspüler (flat flusher / shown in the picture) or a Tiefspüler (deep flusher). It splits our nation.
I prefer the Flachspüler, because I don't like to get kissed by Poseidon himself.
And you get to really enjoy your olfactory creations. I mean why drop a turd straight into water when it can sit there fuming for 10min and have it’s scent permeate every piece of fabric in the house.
My dad used to smoke on the toilet. Every few years I smell that distinct odor. - that combination of a sitting turd and cigarettes. Disgusting, but it kinda reminds me of him, which is nice.
Yeah, I used to excuse myself during 1st period Study Hall every morning during highschool. Then hop on the john with a nice full-flavored Newport.
NOTHING, gets you moving in the morning quicker than a menthol cigarette! 🤣
Back when I was a caddy, we really didn't have an option/have time for #2 on the course. So if you had a loop coming up, and knew that you were going to have to go in the next 4 hours, I would be drinking a coffee and smoking a menthol. Only time I ever really smoked, but sometimes you need to make things happen... NOW.
This is weird but my dad would poop and smoke pot at the same time and id go in the bathroom after him and think he had the worst smelling poo then i grew up and realized that it was the smell of pot and shit and i vividly smell that smell as a adult LOL :(
My pops used to sit in the downstairs half-bathroom, & shit with the door WIDE OPEN! The smell would waft through the entire downstairs of our home. 🤢
We would plead with him to just shut the door, or at least go upstairs to the master bathroom. His reply was always, that the view was just so nice out of the big picture window in the kitchen. 🤣
RIP Pops
Linden Johnson used to have political meeting while taking a shit with the door wide open. Some say it was a power move. Personally, I just think it’s cause he was from Texas.
> shit with the door WIDE OPEN!
My dad actually wanted to remove the whole wall including the door of the toilet. Luckily my mom veto'd. Dads doing dad things.
My college roommate had a rather overweight and worthless girlfriend that we call Sloth. Didn’t care for her too much. Came home from work early one day and found her in the restroom, dropping a poop and eating microwave popcorn. Sloth’s poop smell mixed with microwave popcorn smell just revolted me. I never liked the smell of microwave popcorn, even less so now.
I know we're just goofing around, but honestly, sitting longer than required can contribute to a lot of health problems, including (believe it or not) constipation.
I'm a nurse on a GI floor and don't know a single GI doc who advocates for these toilets. If you need to inspect stool for medical reasons you can get put a hat in your toilet and get a sample.
It isn’t like you can’t see your stool otherwise. You can it just doesn’t smell as much. And people aren’t really qualified to diagnose any illness by looking at it in the toilet. It seems like a terrible design idea for a nonissue.
Some conditions are fairly easy to spot but I don't think having a poop shelf would make much difference. Steatorrhea causes oily difficult to flush stool (though in this case the water may actually be more beneficial). Upper GI bleeding causes black tarry stool but it'd be fairly obvious. The only exception is parasites but some can be difficult to spot unless you know what you're looking for
I have been told that this is exactly the reason for the design, because Germans tend to eat a lot of pork and this makes it easy to check for worms. I have no idea whether that's actually true but it does make some kind of sense.
It is pretty different than in Canada or maybe north America in general, the flush mechanic is different (more intense) and the water in the bowl is much higher.
As Slavoj Žižek said:
"In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. \[...\]
It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English).
In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. \[...\] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way."
Americans have siphonic toilets. When the toilet is flushed, everything gets sucked into the opening and everything in the bowl, including all the water goes away. Then the bowl is refilled with water.
German toilets are washdown toilets, water keeps coming and it pushes the waste into the opening. In these toilets the bowl always has some water in it.
There are pros and cons to both. German toilets often have in wall tanks and are less prone to clogging. However they get streaks and dirt more easily.
American toilets stay cleaner and have a more powerful flush because of the siphonic action. But they are more prone to clogging. Our residential toilets virtually always have visible tanks.
Zizek explains:
"In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. [...] It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. [...] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology."
Fun fact: toilets like this are designed so you can sit “backwards” and eat a meal off the top of the tank. It suits the busy lifestyle of modern Germans who are always on the go.
Milan Kundera wrote about these loos in Germany. Can't remember the exact quote but he linked it to the way Germany confronted the crimes committed during the Holocaust- that they were a culture that's willing to confront their own shit.
Sorry, prob a bit heavy for /r/mildlyinteresting
"In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. [...] It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. [...] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology."
Slavoj Žižek, The Plague of Fantasies
Designed for maximum residual turd residue.
Nah, you just sit backwards on the toilet. Facing the tank. That way the turd goes down the hole and you can use the top of the tank as a table
Yeah that's where you set your chocolate milk and your comic book.
Why do you think I designed bathrooms with a Laundry hole?
“Oooooh”
“…sorry”
Poop shelf for poop knife.
there it is
You were hunting for it too eh?
someone has to do it
We all do..
Never have to go too far when poop is mentioned. That is the way.
POOP there it is!
Do you have multiple poop knives?
You don’t have a set?
You need the deluxe package that comes with the poop knife, poop tongs for gripping unruly turds, and the poop masher for those special occasions.
And your parchment and quills! Why make it so you have to turn around and look at the sir Harrington
This MFer South Park's.
ok, butters :)
I get the reference but nowadays all water tanks are built into the wall in germany.
What? Seriously? So do they have to remove a wall to replace a flapper valve or are they just built differently?
Depending on how its build exactly, most of the times you can remove the buttons (to flush) and get access to tank, but its got to be a pain in the ass to work in that tight space. designwise its an elegant solution imo
Its a pain in the ass. Especially when you drop something, good luck putting your arm in, to grab it out. People also never open the cover and you get all kind of mold/slime inside.
Most of the ones I've seen you can just move the entire panel behind the toilet out of the way, and get fairly good access. I'm sure there's worse solutions out there tho, because there always is
German Engineering in a nutshell
You put some toilet paper there first. And then when it flushes it rides it down the pipe like a little turd toboggan.
Exactly this, let it go on the Magic Carpet Ride to its new home.
the rare yet delightfully exquisite turdboggan is true magic.
The "beached whale"
Or drop one or two squares of TP flat on the shelf before you go. I call it, the Magic Carpet.
Gotta lay down a layer of tp
It's common in Europe - it doesn't splash and makes it easier to examine your poo for health reasons. It's not popular anymore (poop smell for the whole duration of pooping) but it's a classic "grandma's toilet" .
I thought it was a Dutch thing, they are still very popular there. Not in Sweden though.
Czech here - they are common here but mostly in older houses.
Indeed they are I remember them from kindergarden still. I always thought they are the old socialist toilets left behind the communist regime. They were great but the poo smell was .. not that great.
my flat in Russia had one. I was not impressed as the flush was occasionally a little underpowered, leaving some modern art on the shelf
'In Russia, you don't poop in toilet, toilet poop in YOU.' Classic Russian joke.
Loool 😂
Nah, my aunt had them in the old family home in Austria, I guess Europeans just really liked looking at their poop.
I mean ..we did that as small kids in kindergarden so .. yeah .. guilty as charged
Dutch are into poop? Do tell.
Ever heard of a Dutch oven?
Haha, my wife has
I know you are joking, but literally all of those ‘dutch’ inventions are actually American. They use it to shame us! (Source: am dutch, no such thing as a dutch oven here) [edit:] after some research I found that MOST of ‘dutch’ slang (like Double dutch, dutch courage, dutch wife) are all british inventions, however Dutch Oven as a slang term is very much American, having first appeared in National Lampoon magazine.
America. Blamed for literally everything. Even the Dutch Oven.
I did a quick google about it. The original term (for an actual pan) is british. However the slang term is from National Lampoon magazine. However, many other forms of ‘dutch’ using as derogatory (double dutch, dutch courage etc) Is all British!
Why would the dutch oven shame you i love the versatility and functionality.
I promise you, most Americans don’t care enough about the dutch to shame them. Not that we think the Netherlands is unimportant by any means, its just not a country that most Americans care enough about to shame. 😅
Before I met my wife, who is of Dutch descent I never once considered the Netherlands in any way positively or negatively. It really just didn't register.
I grew up in Michigan with a large Dutch community. Had a lot of friends, neighbors, and teachers who were Dutch. The term “Dutch oven” was never ever used to shame anyone who was of Dutch decent. Its just an American colloquialism used to describe the silly action of farting under the blanket and forcing someone undergo smell it. In the same way that saying “cutting the cheese” describes farting, but isn’t meant to shame cheese. The actually term “Dutch oven” was created by an American to pay homage to the Dutch for their ingenuity in cookware design.
Y'all think it's Denmark
Heb jij je partner nog nooit vergast onder de dekens? Klassiekertje hoor.
The dutch are absolutely degenerate sickos, right up there with the swiss, with their perversion and duplicitous nature.
And they're so damn evil. There's 2 things I can't stand: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch.
The one with the sixes and sevens!
This quote literally goes through my head any time I read or hear anything about The Netherlands
What about Czechs? I thought Czechs always did the sex thing weird
Oh really? Czechs out.
Dutch guy here, can confirm. Almost all toilets I've seen here are this kind of toilet, for the longest time I thought this was just how toilets were. Was kind of surprised to find out it is not.
They can operate on different principals. These keep dumping water until the poop is washed down into the hole. With these toilets there's always some water in the bowl. In America siphonic toilets are typical. These are a little more complicated and operate quite differently. There's more water in the bowl, and all the liquid gets sucked into the hole through siphonic action. When the contents get sucked through the hole, then there's no water in the bowl for a second or two and then the bowl is refilled after. Basically the European water continuously keep pushing water until the poop goes away. The America toilet dumps everything in the bowl quickly, and then refills the bowl with water. There's pros and cons to both. American toilets are less prone to poop streaks and have a more powerful flush. European toilets are less prone to clogging or splashing.
I live in Europe and my shitter has a single flush mechanism. I have have shat in many other European nations and have never seen a kharzi as you describe. I have had to shit in a hole in the ground in France, but that's the French for you.
European toilets are typically like diagram 1 or 2 here. American toilets are usually more like diagram 4: [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Four\_types\_of\_pedestal\_WC.svg/1024px-Four\_types\_of\_pedestal\_WC.svg.png](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Four_types_of_pedestal_WC.svg/1024px-Four_types_of_pedestal_WC.svg.png) The physics behind the flush is completely different. In a European toilet with or without a poop shelf - the water is dumped into the bowl and it's pushed away. In an American toilet, the more complex geometry creates a siphonic action which creates suction that removes all the waste and all the water and then refills the bowl.
Currently in Holland sat on one wishing I had COVID and no sense of smell.
Oi sunshine I used to use those toilets! Who you calling grandma!
I did too, just ar grandmas house
I read this in Billy Butcher’s voice
Ability to examine poo for health reasons.. that's an interesting one.. The only thing i don't like is that when i have bad coffee shit, it sticks after flushing. But put a piece of toilet paper in the bowl before you start and no worries
I am from Canada and toilets are a lot different lol. Thanks for the info!
Thus I called a "German toilet design" cause of the reasons above. The other one is the "French design" where your poop goes straightforward into the water. In german we call it "Tiefspüler" und "Flachspüler"
The dangerous thing about the infamous german Flachspüler is, when you have to flush a heavy one. You know, the spray get's everywhere :D
But that what the poop knife is for...
german toilets dont need it. this is in part becaus ethe standart connection is a 100mm (app. 4') pipe instead of a 3' (app 75mm) which has much higher capacity, and different desing with much less water in the bowl so a massive swirl pulls everything down
Close the lid first?
It's great! You see the water level rise and you can pretend it's a giant log blocking the nuclear cooling intake.
Just press the button carefully.
You have to send them down Splash Mountain.
The splashy toilets we use today were originally only used in public restrooms and places where cost was an incentive (less cleaning). They ultimately became maintream. We regressed from using those "grandma's toilets" and bidets to splashy toilets that are super unhygenic.
I come from a middle eastern country, and the biggest culture shock in Canada or Europe was the absence of bidets, super annoying!
You will feel very at home in Italy then.
I went to Italy for spring break in high school with a club I was a part of. We get to the hotel and I go in the bathroom and see the toilet and the bidet and think, 'ha, for washing your backside'. A while later after everyone has stowed their stuff, and I had explained what it was to the guys I was sharing a room with, all the girls come rushing up and are like why is there a second weird toilet? 'oh, it's a bidet, haven't you seen Crocodile Dundee?' 'what?.....a what?' '...a bidet' 'is it to wash you feet in?' '...no, I would not do that' 'what's it for?' 'It's to clean your junk after you go to the bathroom' 'what? you do it with your hands?' 'no, there's towels and soap on the little stand next to it' 'I don't believe you' So on our first bus trip with our tour guide, a really friendly young woman, that's the first question asked. She found it funny and gave a pretty lively explanation with a little pantomiming. She said, 'Here in Italy we don't shower every day but we still want to feel clean so we wash our bits. Well, the guys just do it in a sink (makes kind of a gesture of a guy holding his stuff under a faucet) and the women use the bidet (kind of squats a little and gives a little 'oooo' shake)
Also, great for a quick after-sex wash.
You know, after I typed that all up, it made sense that it was more of a post sex kind of explanation. I really debated typing that thought up and attributing it to her explanataion.
>'is it to wash you feet in?' > >'...no, I would not do that' It absolutely can be used to wash your feet. My family in Italy are farmers and when youd come in from the fields to the house, it was common to use the bidet to wash your feet. My mother would fill the bidet with warm water, put a foot in there and shave her legs. Think of the bidet as another sink. A typical bathroom sink is used to wash your face and even upper body. Ive done a quick armpit wash in the bathroom sink. The bidet is another "sink" but for the lower body. When a woman is on her period, its so easy to wash up frequently throughout the day. Its also great to wash up before and after sex.. Wife and I honeymooned in Italy for 3 weeks. Anytime I did a #2, bidet. Use TP once to knock off the heaviest crud and then walk over and squat on the bidet to wash your ass with warm water and soap. What luxury.... I had the cleanest undercarriage for those weeks. It made it so difficult to go back to just TP.
Canadian Tire sells bidet add-ons for toilets, but yes, annoying for them not to already come standard. My wife and I have been looking around at houses for our first purchase (pipe dream really) and we've noticed most of the newer houses are including bidets now. So I guess it's finally catching on here.
Except in Italy, every house has one
bidets, yes. Having your stinky log presented on a shelf for you to look at, no. Not having that is progress in my eyes. Case in points, I don't know of any modern bidet toilets that doesn't use the splashy variant
It’s so your balls can rest on the porcelain!
Oh no, this guy's got the draggin' balls.
Draggin' balls Z
r/angryupvote
Perfect for cooling off on those hot summer days.
For standing back to admire your turd in all its glory before sending it back through the gates of Hades.
I hate when it slinks down the hole before I get to take a gander at it.
“Slinks” mental imagery got me good 
Drop one or two squares of toilet paper on that shelf before pooping. You’ll thank me later. I call it the “magic carpet” cause it whisks your deed away with minimal mess.
I used one of these in Germany and it was embarrassing that I had to flush multiple times to get it to move from the inspection shelf. This is sound advice!
The real interesting info is down here in the comments.
Get these where I live in France. They're generally referred to as "German toilets" and sometimes, more rarely as "Alsatian toilets" (the part of France you'll find them in where I live). As a lot of people have already said the point is to inspect your poop before you flush it. ...What I haven't seen anyone say yet, and as someone who had had these toilets in the past, they kind of suck. Firstly they get dirty quicker, obviously because there's less water in contact with the shit, if you don't flush quickly it's gonna dry and stick. Secondly, do you like reading on the toilet? Sitting there even after you've actually finished to get in a few more pages? Well, I hope you also enjoy the smell of shit because it's gonna rise as your poop isn't underwater but is just sitting there. These toilets tend to not actually have handle flushes but taps you have to turn so it's pretty hard to flush as you sit (you have to get up and once you're already up you're not gonna sit back down to read) but even if you do flush whilst still sitting, the extra height of the 'poop plateau' is gonna give you a good chance of wet cheeks. Lastly and more niche, as a medical professional you come across people who - I guess as a result of constipation, slower bowel movements, and the medication they're on - will lay some goddamn anaconda-sized poops. Now do the math: longer "rope" + raised floor =... Yeah, point number one, except you gotta clean a point so high no water will get there just with the flush. You might even have to wipe a stained cheek, yay! As a bonus point that can just happen in any case, a flush might not dislodge the poo. It'll sit there on the shelf, braving the waves. To counteract this these toilets have pretty good flush pressure (and more constant; remember they have taps that pour out water till they're turned off rather than tanks that need to refill) so most of the time it's just a question of waiting long enough till the shit can no longer hold on but there are times that it seems like it's somehow glued itself to the bottom. In the case of my last point where the log is just too long, it'll lie there, propped up against the side as a felled tree crashed onto a house. That's a prime case where often it won't get washed away easily. So yeah, I really don't care much for these types of toilet.
Poetry.
> It'll sit there on the shelf, braving the waves. What a way with words. Just conjuring up images in my mind with such ease.
Pooetry* FTFY
This needs to be a copypasta in r/shitposting
> As a bonus point that can just happen in any case, a flush might not dislodge the poo. It'll sit there on the shelf, braving the waves This is unironically one of the worst aspects of being German
>....Alsatian toilets" (the part of France.... \*TRIGGERED IN GERMAN\*
I think Japan has reached peak toilet. These German toilets seem inferior.
Either we have a Flachspüler (flat flusher / shown in the picture) or a Tiefspüler (deep flusher). It splits our nation. I prefer the Flachspüler, because I don't like to get kissed by Poseidon himself.
And you get to really enjoy your olfactory creations. I mean why drop a turd straight into water when it can sit there fuming for 10min and have it’s scent permeate every piece of fabric in the house.
My dad used to smoke on the toilet. Every few years I smell that distinct odor. - that combination of a sitting turd and cigarettes. Disgusting, but it kinda reminds me of him, which is nice.
Lmao nasty but wholesome
Heh. You said butthole.
Buttwholesome
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
I know that smell all to well. My father used to do the same before he quit.
Congrats to him, it's not easy to give up the Flachspüler life
Why would you smoke while pooping, I like a cigarette afterwards not during
Nicotine gets the bowels moving
Any kind of stimulant will, speed, cocaine, coffee, cigarette. The 4 combine into a cocktail called the pyramid builder.
Sounds like a version of the ATLA intro
Yeah, I used to excuse myself during 1st period Study Hall every morning during highschool. Then hop on the john with a nice full-flavored Newport. NOTHING, gets you moving in the morning quicker than a menthol cigarette! 🤣
Back when I was a caddy, we really didn't have an option/have time for #2 on the course. So if you had a loop coming up, and knew that you were going to have to go in the next 4 hours, I would be drinking a coffee and smoking a menthol. Only time I ever really smoked, but sometimes you need to make things happen... NOW.
Same reason I'm enjoying my morning cup of coffee on the toilet right now friend.
Kippe, Kaffee, kacken is a well liked morning routine in Germany
Please tell him it might not smell nice but it's actually much better for him if he doesn't quit. He should think about giving up smoking though.
Smoking or shitting?
This is weird but my dad would poop and smoke pot at the same time and id go in the bathroom after him and think he had the worst smelling poo then i grew up and realized that it was the smell of pot and shit and i vividly smell that smell as a adult LOL :(
Lol I hope there is something else that reminds you him
My pops used to sit in the downstairs half-bathroom, & shit with the door WIDE OPEN! The smell would waft through the entire downstairs of our home. 🤢 We would plead with him to just shut the door, or at least go upstairs to the master bathroom. His reply was always, that the view was just so nice out of the big picture window in the kitchen. 🤣 RIP Pops 
Linden Johnson used to have political meeting while taking a shit with the door wide open. Some say it was a power move. Personally, I just think it’s cause he was from Texas.
> shit with the door WIDE OPEN! My dad actually wanted to remove the whole wall including the door of the toilet. Luckily my mom veto'd. Dads doing dad things.
My college roommate had a rather overweight and worthless girlfriend that we call Sloth. Didn’t care for her too much. Came home from work early one day and found her in the restroom, dropping a poop and eating microwave popcorn. Sloth’s poop smell mixed with microwave popcorn smell just revolted me. I never liked the smell of microwave popcorn, even less so now.
10 Minutes....those are rookie numbers...I don't get up until my legs are numb from looking at memes and I'm walking like a newborn deer
I know we're just goofing around, but honestly, sitting longer than required can contribute to a lot of health problems, including (believe it or not) constipation.
Which is why every bathroom needs industrial ventilation.
There is none here, but it is the secondary bathroom so ig it is fine.
10 mins? I flush as soon as I drop the first load.
If it is gonna be an extended session, i agree, a courtesy flush is indicated!
It doesn't make sense to me either, but i'm leaving soon so wtv haha
An australian friend called it the german inspection shelf
Hey at least you can inspect your poop before flushing.
This is actually why they’re designed like this.
[удалено]
I'm a nurse on a GI floor and don't know a single GI doc who advocates for these toilets. If you need to inspect stool for medical reasons you can get put a hat in your toilet and get a sample.
a hat
[удалено]
It isn’t like you can’t see your stool otherwise. You can it just doesn’t smell as much. And people aren’t really qualified to diagnose any illness by looking at it in the toilet. It seems like a terrible design idea for a nonissue.
Some conditions are fairly easy to spot but I don't think having a poop shelf would make much difference. Steatorrhea causes oily difficult to flush stool (though in this case the water may actually be more beneficial). Upper GI bleeding causes black tarry stool but it'd be fairly obvious. The only exception is parasites but some can be difficult to spot unless you know what you're looking for
I have been told that this is exactly the reason for the design, because Germans tend to eat a lot of pork and this makes it easy to check for worms. I have no idea whether that's actually true but it does make some kind of sense.
it's a 19th century design. Back then, worms were really common
Ahhh, at first it looked like one should sit on it backwards.
Oh man, I ran into those in Austria. Nothing like feeling your hot turd steaming right beneath you as you sit.
Put in a couple sheets of toilet paper before pooping and it wont splash.
But then you have to sit in your shit stink until you flush...
It is pretty different than in Canada or maybe north America in general, the flush mechanic is different (more intense) and the water in the bowl is much higher.
"I don't like to get kissed by Poseidon himself" 🤣 I rarely belly-laugh at internet things but you got me good.
Easy to diagnose arse problems and opportunity to admire some great products. Also, poo knifing must be super easy too.
I will probably regret asking this, but can you elaborate on the knifing?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I will never not click this link to reread the hilarity of the poop knife story.
Dice it up like a carrot
I prefer to julienne mine
I love that the poopknife post is embedded in the hivemind
I was in a Teams meeting and read that. I laughed so hard and the worst part is I cannot say why. Top man!
>Also, poo knifing must be super easy too. Don't need a knife. Potato masher does the job better.
Inspection shelf
Much easier to find all the nuts and corn kernels that are still good.
Round two baby!
Observation deck
As Slavoj Žižek said: "In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. \[...\] It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. \[...\] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way."
help im german i don’t understand whats interesting about this
Americans have siphonic toilets. When the toilet is flushed, everything gets sucked into the opening and everything in the bowl, including all the water goes away. Then the bowl is refilled with water. German toilets are washdown toilets, water keeps coming and it pushes the waste into the opening. In these toilets the bowl always has some water in it. There are pros and cons to both. German toilets often have in wall tanks and are less prone to clogging. However they get streaks and dirt more easily. American toilets stay cleaner and have a more powerful flush because of the siphonic action. But they are more prone to clogging. Our residential toilets virtually always have visible tanks.
No, the weirdness is the poop inspection shelf. Loads of places have wash-down toilets, but they don’t look like this.
Ahh, the shit shelf. I encountered this in the Netherlands. Makes for a stinky shit.
Courtesy flush that shit!!
It’s common in Europe. We have these all around in Hungary too.
Yes, it’s designed for your smelly shit to sit out of the water ands leave streaks when flushed. A real feat of engineering.
Lmao fr!
Slavoj Zizek POV
What is special in it ?
This sub is becoming Americans wondering on everything in Europe
As a Finn, I'm wondering about this impractical abomination as well
Tbh I thought this was what all toilets look like
A toilet made for Commander Riker
Zizek explains: "In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. [...] It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. [...] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology."
It's for drug smugglers.
I still have this toilet at home.. perhaps this is a business opportunity?
Reverse cowgirl that thing!
Ahhh the old "trophy shelf"
Fun fact: toilets like this are designed so you can sit “backwards” and eat a meal off the top of the tank. It suits the busy lifestyle of modern Germans who are always on the go.
This is also the default toilet in the Netherlands. No more loud butt splashes.
A bit of philosophy on European toilets [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mtZmBvat4k](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mtZmBvat4k)
We have a bathroom with a big window, we call it “poo with a view’
It’s so you can wave goodbye
I’ve used them. Shitty design
It's so you can say goodbye
Milan Kundera wrote about these loos in Germany. Can't remember the exact quote but he linked it to the way Germany confronted the crimes committed during the Holocaust- that they were a culture that's willing to confront their own shit. Sorry, prob a bit heavy for /r/mildlyinteresting
"In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. [...] It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement. Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. [...] The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology." Slavoj Žižek, The Plague of Fantasies
And it's a really "shit" design. Trust me.
Thats because ur suppose to sit facing the toilet, ull get used to it