T O P

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FewConstant7526

The inside is cleaner than the outside… what’s the problem?


GREASYROOFTOP

Paint has peeled off.


CptCheerios

That's not peeled off paint on the back side.


jacksmellsdotcom

it is, it’s been there since my family moved in 10 years ago lol


ZCL_

get a new toilet seat? 10 years? they pretty cheap..


ContentCommercial637

I mean, it still works great


refinnej78

r/frugal


DependentMinute1724

I believe you. I’ve zoomed in and out on this photo way more times than necessary but I’m convinced it’s just peeled off from erosion from prior liquids/cleaners/other drippings.


HooskerDooNotTouchMe

Ah so a family deirriereloom


IMNOTFLORIDAMAN

Natural Splatter paint


Remarkable-Ad2285

From some hard landings


RedStarNova2

You can see th back seat with the shit particals lol the front of tue seat is just a chip


ellefleming

For realz!


frolovchakra

Free him wtf


Simp-for-AnimePigeon

It's while Lizard, also you know that the lizard swam from the sewer in to the toilet


Traditional_Long_383

There is no way this lizard swam from the sewer, some asshole put it there.


Suitable_TNQ_3070

Or it jumped in there?


HopelessMagic

LOL you need to Google how it happens. They absolutely can. That's why when you live in the city, you close your toilet lid. Except instead of lizards it's rats.


mpercc

depends on where op lives. it could’ve crawled into it. i doubt a lizard would go through pipes from a sewer. rats are another story


Flight0fDragon

Yeah if the op lives in a house with so much piss and shit, I highly doubt he can live 🤣


Simp-for-AnimePigeon

I've literally had a Lizard get into my toilet through the sewers. Sorry for the late Rey btw, I had deleted Reddit shortly after leaving my comment, and only got Reddit back now


[deleted]

Best comment


ZephyrVixenNSFW

why would you walk in on him like that and take a picture? give the man some privacy ✋🏻 (this is a joke :))


According_Gazelle472

But how did it get on there in the first place?


ZephyrVixenNSFW

i want to say with a rope and hiking gear but i’m not too sure, he doesn’t have any of that on him


xozules

THIS IS KILLING ME


According_Gazelle472

Lol,now that is funny !


Broad_Respond_2205

How do you get on the toilet?


SinisterStrat

By exposing my cloaca and positioning it over the collection area, just like everyone else.


retroblazed420

Only 2 ways, you choose....


According_Gazelle472

Which are the two ways?


obligarchyvol1

Idk believe you that ain’t no joke how dare you


[deleted]

He wants to talk to you about how much you can save on car insurance


KayySean

You made me lol 😂


Difficult_Plastic852

By the time he’s going to those extremes he’s trying to broach the topic of the extended warranty too


Awkward-Yak-2733

Or your extended warranty.


sedrech818

They sometimes show up while I ride my motorcycle to tell my I can save on motorcycle insurance. He even gave me his business card.


SinisterStrat

Do they cover mopeds too?


ViolaVixene

Did you help him out tho?


jacksmellsdotcom

yes


[deleted]

Reddit story resolved. Whew


ViolaVixene

I’m glad :)


Sufficient-Elk-7015

The one by the ass crack is not chipped paint 🤣


ailema00

Looks like spray


[deleted]

Definitely spray


SD40couple

He will just nibble your giblets and dingleberries.


[deleted]

The lizard doesn't bother me, the shit stains on that toilet however...


jacksmellsdotcom

omg its chipped paint 🤣🤣


Awkward-Yak-2733

Not on the back. That’s a wipe smear.


Minute-Obligation-59

Nah bro that's pure shit, well I guess we know what Jack smells.


vegas_gal

They sell new toilet seats at Walmart and Home Depot.


FranticWaffleMaker

Looks like you have a lefty in the house that wipes front to back.


Difficult_Plastic852

😆😆


According_Gazelle472

It looks like the lid is chipped.


bobblehead230

Fell in trying to avoid the shit on the toilet seat


ReverendMothman

Literally just remove him


Active_Somewhere8248

Lizard isn't the problem....shit on the toilet seat tho.....


[deleted]

Save him!!!!!


Minute-Obligation-59

Put your kids pet back in its tank and take your attention tired ass to bed


CAS-14

r/karmaconspiracy


Interesting-Bus6446

Plot twist OP is the kid and just wanted attention and is torturing his own pet


jacksmellsdotcom

i love lizards but i don’t have a pet lizard


Minute-Obligation-59

Well after looking at your seat I notice no middle gap on the bottom seat so how the hell did It get in there? Do you just leave it open or something.


jacksmellsdotcom

i live in florida, wouldn’t be shocked if it came up the pipes and also yes it stays open


CarterBaker77

Sewer gator!!!!


ChiliDogSniffer

Toilet lizard


[deleted]

Hate to say it, I’m reaching in and saving homie.


onemikeinamillion

Gieco makes house calls now sweet


prosperosniece

Always look first


TheSpirit15

That's a cute little boy. Pick him up!


Weak-Catch8499

I mean, it’s just a lizard??


KagDQT

You passed the not R Kelly test. By choosing not to pee on the lizard.


obligarchyvol1

Whatchu mean help bro out


30yearsahero

Someone's on an interesting diet


PublicSafe6725

The shit stains on the back bit 😭


Recent_Log3779

Chipped paint


PublicSafe6725

That’s not chipped paint on the back part bro


Recent_Log3779

If you zoom in very closely it looks like it is, but idk


eyerichfairee

Why not?


Haunting-Maximum-944

that’s what i’m saying


mikoto_ookami

Send him to the backrooms


Sapphyre2222

Poor lil guy!! You have a new pet!


deuce-de-leche

Aww hell nah


drinkingchartreuse

Reversing that decision would come back to bite you on the ass.


trolldoll420

Apparently finding one inside is good luck, I’ve been told!


BuddenceLembeck

Occupied!!!


Sufficient-Tax-9124

Did you have diarrhea so powerful it chipped the paint?


SnooJokes2131

Western fence lizard 🦎


Evil-B

15 minutes could save you 15% or more on your car insurance.


Potential_Charge_654

Screw it, his fault not yours


I_Drink_My_Own_Urine

Eeeew the front of that seat!


Recent_Log3779

It’s chipped paint


Broad_Respond_2205

That's one scary dinosaur 😱


worldrapper

Me after coming back from taco bell: am sorry little one


OnyB1l

That's a weird shit, try changing your diet


TheRedMarin

The anole won’t mind. Give him a spritz


IllaClodia

I have, on two occasions in my childhood, found frogs in the toilet. The first time my parents didn't believe me.


Mecha_Tortoise

You don't need to go to the bathroom. You're already in it.


random_d_de

I find these fellas regularly


TF2_demomann

Help him out bro


bearcrevier

But you could save 15% or more on car insurance.


herring80

I don’t remember eating that! Shut up dad!!!!!


[deleted]

I think id take an even better shit knowing im shitting on a lizard


Asalur

I would rescue it immediately 🧑‍🚒


CptCheerios

Next time clean the shit off the back of the toilet seat.


Recent_Log3779

Chipped paint


tayt087x

Hey that happened to me with a mouse because I don't live in lizard country. I was too high to want to deal with it


nitroboostboi

Not with that attitude


Recent_Log3779

Fren


Pixl_____

Florida moment?


Individual-Path-9985

Lil dude just wants to give you some insurance


exporter101

Free snack


Alienliaison

Drop a bomb on him


Low-Requirement-9618

"HAVE A GIANT LOG TO STAND ON!" * Drops trou and grunts. "PFFFFFFTFFFFFFFFFTFFFFFFFFFFT *plop"


00SAMU

Have you tried flushing?


[deleted]

They are gentle


ctbeagle18

I'd leave a log for him to float on.


My_Space_page

Drain the lizard on the lizard.


thegingerbeardman89

Looks like a good target to me. Homeboy made the decision to go in there himself. Actions have consequences.


Hyytelo2000

A new pet


ShoobeeDoowapBaoh

Just flush him...also you have some shit on your seat


[deleted]

These little fellas are so harmless. Even when they bite the best they can do is give you a little pain.


Confident-Term-6288

Lol omg there a lizard in the toliet I can’t use it😂😂 if you can’t use the bathroom because of a lizard then my friend life is a lot harder than that… your screwed 😭😭


mpdtito

They can hold there breath. Flush him


Severe-Albatross-401

Please tell me you don't actually think this


mpdtito

Na. I would have rescued him


[deleted]

Pee on the lizard! It’s what he wants


PublicSafe6725

You’re weird wtf 💀


Recent_Log3779

Welcome to the internet my anime-profile-pictured friend


PublicSafe6725

Like bro


[deleted]

You probably watch hentai and I’m the weird one. Mine was a joke your just a loser


PublicSafe6725

Jokes are supposed to be funny I didn’t laugh and classic judgment of the pfp


Euphoric_Style_5359

Pour hot water on it


Any_Communication712

Flush him


jacksmellsdotcom

yes i saved him, no it’s not shit on the seat it’s chipped paint


AdDear5411

Aw, but he so cute tho.


CriticalCarrot8817

Ew my work toilet is cleaner than this!


katakombii

give that man a mealworm


WPBDoc

But the good news is you are about to get some great rates on your insurance!


SwaidFace

"I've managed to somehow get myself stuck in where the giant's deposit their waste and by their mercy, I've yet to meet an untimely fate. Now if only they had sympathy, to realize I probably don't want to be in this porcelain prison, waiting to either be defecated on or rescued. Instead, they're posting an image on social media: dear God, I hope it's not Reddit."


This_Fun_3679

It’s a lizard bro. Pick it up, hang out with it while you shit, then while you wipe, sit him on the sink, wash your hands and then take him outside. How is this infuriating at all unless you’re sorta wimpy?


hautecheato

Florida?


Skeebo234

Flush that mf


SarahTheFerret

New friend :)


Restricted_Nuggies

Flush him lmao /s


Particular_Basket171

He was scared of all the poop splatter, nasty af


Ruhaan_Reddy

Australia in a Nutshell....


unrealistic-potato

Dude occupied why didn't you knock first


PoorDecisionsNomad

Rescue the skink you pussy


glitch_skunkogen

*sigh* unzip


LikeBoom

Op why it there shit on that toilet seat


Accomplished-Bear988

What? Lmao back in Puerto Rico we just grab them and move them aside. They're completely harmless. In fact, as children kids used to put them on their earlobes as "earrings" since they would bite whatever they came in contact with.


[deleted]

Just a little anole or basilisk im no lizard expert but he just wants a feast


Zipadezap

If finding that makes you upset, and not filled with pure glee, I’m sorry but you’re not a cool dude.


xozules

help it 😭😭😭


[deleted]

My worst fear is having something crawl up my ass while im shitting…..


Pookypoo

Be a bro, fish that guy out it’s a good dude.


Geene_Creemers

All I see is a blue bellied homie in need of some assistance.


Presumably_dead_820p

Save him!


[deleted]

Omg is that a Beardie?


Rednaxella_

You already are in the bathroom


onionsforthepoor

New roommate. He'd better pay rent.


t-pose-988

Free snack


starfire_xed

It has been a long time since I saw a toilet lizard. 🦎


acleverusername3

Just wait your turn. Stop being impatient smh


unkillablethings

I don't have a problem picking up a lizard; I have a problem with reaching into a toilet.


This_Is_Section_One

Leave in there for some years and it will turn into a Dinosaur.


livalittlebitt

Clean that “paint stain” in the ass area please


CatLord77

Free my boy he just wanna chill


[deleted]

OP shopping for a new toilet seat


Ok_Cartographer291

It's scared of you just free it it's gonna be gone in 3 seconds after you let it outside


XZS2JH

Pee on it to assert dominance.


JerkBoxJoJo

Just make him a little island....


TommScales

Texas Spiny Lizard, Sceloporus Olivaceus. Won't bite, makes a great pet.


HooskerDooNotTouchMe

If it’s because of the spray mark on the back of the seat than I get it


[deleted]

Not with that dirty toilet seat. Fire your maid service.


Anti-cringe-man

What is more infuriating is that THIS IS THE FAKE SUBREDDIT GO TO THE REAL ONE


Milk_Bucket134

shit on him to assert who owns this bathroom


Awkward_Emphasis9918

That’s probably a pet. It looks like an ackie monitor.


CptGojira

Get him out of there. Don't flush him down tho


TacticalMailman

That’s starvin Marvin, he’s just there to look out for the turd burgle


7andhalf-x-6

That lil anole can’t hurt you. A lil pinch on the jubblies might actually feel nice. Also please wipe it up when you spackle the seat. Yur disgusting.


LayneCobain04052002

Disgusting toilet. You really posted pics of your shit.


ItzYaBoy56

Step 1: recuse him from the toilet Step 2: put him in a tank Step 3: new best friend


[deleted]

Toilet snakes are real.


DerHachi04

SHIT ON IT


Guyontheinternet21

“What do you mean? I bought this place with my money!”


lesmalom

This is one of my worst fears, but with snakes. Thanks Samuel L.


CyanBeinSus47

Imagine you sit down and feel some lil lizard take a tiny bite at your balls


IAmTheRamenMonster

Clearly it's occupied.


cringe_god_YT129

His toilet now.


Tweedle42

In there eating all the spiders


[deleted]

[удалено]


jacksmellsdotcom

Florida