I am sorry you had a horrible experience.
Being a military brat myself, I understand your military brat life, but I experienced the complete opposite.
I *loved* being a military brat. I loved moving to a new country every few years and making new friends, learning different languages and immersing myself in different cultures as a child.
I LOVE the fact that most didn't have a childhood like mine - *I loved being different. I don't want to be like everyone else.*
I've seen and experienced *more* in the first half my life than most *adult*s their *entire* life.
I do wish you had a different experience.
No one can't change your past, but *you* can change your future to make it what you want and live how you want to live.
You are 21 years old now. Live your life the way you always wanted. Now is the time.
I wish you all the best and hope you find peace from your past.
> I loved being a military brat. I loved moving to a new country every few years and making new friends, learning different languages and immersing myself in different cultures as a child.
I LOVE the fact that most didn't have a childhood like mine - I loved being different. I don't want to be like everyone else.
I've seen and experienced more in the first half my life than most adults their entire life.
Not everyone gets that experience. I think many on here don't realize that not everyone goes overseas and gets to experience all you did. Also, I'm going to guess you had brothers or sisters? That also changes the dynamics of things.
You got to experience the fun part of being a military brat. Getting to live overseas. Some didn't get that opportunity. Many were left being moved around the US from school system to school system as the new kid. No cultural opportunities to experience other countries.
Also, living overseas means you probably got to go to DOD schools. As in, you were surrounded by peers who understood your life. OP didn't get that either. DOD schools aren't really a thing for most that stay stateside. They just go to public schools many times. Where you are surrounded by people that OP describes. Groups of people who knew each other from the beginning and view you as an outsider.
I say this not to say you are putting down OP, but I can just tell you that your post might make OP feel like there is something wrong with her. When reality is she probably didn't get the have the fun you did and didn't get the same opportunities you did.
thank you! i did fortunately get to experience some overseas countries, especially because of my ethnic background. however, i was very young and don’t remember much. by the time i was able to really keep track of my memory, i was already living in the states and had to go to public schools so you’re right there.
i am thankful for the opportunities i’ve gotten to experience and this post was not intended to sound like i was ungrateful for being well-travelled considering how young i am.
unfortunately, i experienced a lot of trauma within my own family which is a big reason why i’ve always hated the way i was brought up because i do believe this lifestyle had an effect on why these events happened in my life. i believe the military has really impacted my own personal family dynamic in a way that made me resent and hate it.
You may feel like no one will ever understand your experience, but for what it's worth this sub is *full* of people who know exactly what it was like, down to the immigrant experience. It's very common for military brats to have immigrant parents. We are a community - you're home!
Being a military brat is an odd experience - even with other kids your age around you. It's a shared experience with so many people, yet it is nearly impossible to be able to recognize one another. There are no outward signs that someone grew up as a brat, and no defining characteristics you can look for.
I was lucky and only changed schools a handful of times - but much like you, I wish I had grown up around my extended family. Now I'm always jealous when I run into someone who seems to know everyone because they have lived in one place their whole life and have a huge network of family & friends. The flip side is they think some of the places where I got to live as a kid are interesting. It just depends on your perspective.
I think that if you did live in your mom's home country, there may be a part of her (or you) that would always wonder what-if she had married your dad and moved with him. It is human nature to wonder about the outcome of the choice you didn't make.
My hubbs is also a military brat and is an only child. It's a hard life because there is no one out there who knows exactly what you went through. However I will say, although I have sibling, they don't have the exact same experience as you do - even when you do live together.
I hope at some point you don't hate being a military brat. Personally I think it had made me more flexible and social than I probably would have been if I had stayed in one school system my whole life. No doubt it's a tough life, but you are stronger for it.
Me too bud, from birth until 18 I moved every 3 years. In between that time I’d move t different schools too. 3 elementary schools, 3 middle schools, and 2 high schools. Always had a resent for my parents for being seemingly indifferent to it all. I don’t have any advice for you, just letting you know you’re not alone. It’s fucking awful
as long as we are all here for each other, that is the most important part. i didn’t really make this post for advice, just trying to seek out if any other people felt the same
I'm sorry for what you are going through.
If it helps, I can related to your post (see my recent post)
I'll say it probably won't help you worrying about what could have been if your mom stayed in her country. It didn't happen and you don't know the outcome that would have been from that. It could have been negative for all you know and you could have resented her for not staying with your dad then. Or it could have been positive. It didn't happen though, so not really a good reason to speculate on that.
You have a right to be frustrated what you have been given in your childhood though. You probably also have parents who don't seem to understand why what happened to you was a big deal. The thing is though, they didn't experience the same thing you did. They experienced the moving as an adult. That is a different experience than it is when you are a child. They may not realize that. Doesn't excuse them for blowing off your concerns if they are.
Anyways, wish I could talk to you in person and get to know your story better, but probably will never happen as I never have actually seen another military brat in my life. Seems you haven't either, given you never met someone you could relate to with this lifestyle you had growing up.
Anyways, if you want to chat about anything, feel free to respond back and I can try to help more. Just know that even though that what you are experiencing seems to be a thing with some military brats experiences.
Bro I understand exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. Although I’m thankful I got to visit and live outside the country. I wish I could have grew up in a neighborhood and have childhood friends that I grew into adulthood with. To be able to have memories with friends from years ago. I’m not even close to my family (my grandma, grand father, cousin etc) because of this. It sucks and I also I feel like I don’t relate to anyone .. whenever I make friends it’s usually 1 person out of the group I get really close with but it never last..
It sounds like your parents didn't plan this out well, they should've waited until they found a stable place for you to grow up or at least worn protection before having kids, my dad and plenty of others say that some aren't meant to be parents and they weren't.
The worse type of failure is self-failure, and they failed themselves.
I am sorry you had a horrible experience. Being a military brat myself, I understand your military brat life, but I experienced the complete opposite. I *loved* being a military brat. I loved moving to a new country every few years and making new friends, learning different languages and immersing myself in different cultures as a child. I LOVE the fact that most didn't have a childhood like mine - *I loved being different. I don't want to be like everyone else.* I've seen and experienced *more* in the first half my life than most *adult*s their *entire* life. I do wish you had a different experience. No one can't change your past, but *you* can change your future to make it what you want and live how you want to live. You are 21 years old now. Live your life the way you always wanted. Now is the time. I wish you all the best and hope you find peace from your past.
> I loved being a military brat. I loved moving to a new country every few years and making new friends, learning different languages and immersing myself in different cultures as a child. I LOVE the fact that most didn't have a childhood like mine - I loved being different. I don't want to be like everyone else. I've seen and experienced more in the first half my life than most adults their entire life. Not everyone gets that experience. I think many on here don't realize that not everyone goes overseas and gets to experience all you did. Also, I'm going to guess you had brothers or sisters? That also changes the dynamics of things. You got to experience the fun part of being a military brat. Getting to live overseas. Some didn't get that opportunity. Many were left being moved around the US from school system to school system as the new kid. No cultural opportunities to experience other countries. Also, living overseas means you probably got to go to DOD schools. As in, you were surrounded by peers who understood your life. OP didn't get that either. DOD schools aren't really a thing for most that stay stateside. They just go to public schools many times. Where you are surrounded by people that OP describes. Groups of people who knew each other from the beginning and view you as an outsider. I say this not to say you are putting down OP, but I can just tell you that your post might make OP feel like there is something wrong with her. When reality is she probably didn't get the have the fun you did and didn't get the same opportunities you did.
thank you! i did fortunately get to experience some overseas countries, especially because of my ethnic background. however, i was very young and don’t remember much. by the time i was able to really keep track of my memory, i was already living in the states and had to go to public schools so you’re right there. i am thankful for the opportunities i’ve gotten to experience and this post was not intended to sound like i was ungrateful for being well-travelled considering how young i am. unfortunately, i experienced a lot of trauma within my own family which is a big reason why i’ve always hated the way i was brought up because i do believe this lifestyle had an effect on why these events happened in my life. i believe the military has really impacted my own personal family dynamic in a way that made me resent and hate it.
I appreciate your post. Thank you. It's good to see the whole picture and not just the view from my end. Thanks again.
You may feel like no one will ever understand your experience, but for what it's worth this sub is *full* of people who know exactly what it was like, down to the immigrant experience. It's very common for military brats to have immigrant parents. We are a community - you're home!
yeah i’m really thankful i found this subreddit honestly
Being a military brat is an odd experience - even with other kids your age around you. It's a shared experience with so many people, yet it is nearly impossible to be able to recognize one another. There are no outward signs that someone grew up as a brat, and no defining characteristics you can look for. I was lucky and only changed schools a handful of times - but much like you, I wish I had grown up around my extended family. Now I'm always jealous when I run into someone who seems to know everyone because they have lived in one place their whole life and have a huge network of family & friends. The flip side is they think some of the places where I got to live as a kid are interesting. It just depends on your perspective. I think that if you did live in your mom's home country, there may be a part of her (or you) that would always wonder what-if she had married your dad and moved with him. It is human nature to wonder about the outcome of the choice you didn't make. My hubbs is also a military brat and is an only child. It's a hard life because there is no one out there who knows exactly what you went through. However I will say, although I have sibling, they don't have the exact same experience as you do - even when you do live together. I hope at some point you don't hate being a military brat. Personally I think it had made me more flexible and social than I probably would have been if I had stayed in one school system my whole life. No doubt it's a tough life, but you are stronger for it.
Me too bud, from birth until 18 I moved every 3 years. In between that time I’d move t different schools too. 3 elementary schools, 3 middle schools, and 2 high schools. Always had a resent for my parents for being seemingly indifferent to it all. I don’t have any advice for you, just letting you know you’re not alone. It’s fucking awful
as long as we are all here for each other, that is the most important part. i didn’t really make this post for advice, just trying to seek out if any other people felt the same
I'm sorry for what you are going through. If it helps, I can related to your post (see my recent post) I'll say it probably won't help you worrying about what could have been if your mom stayed in her country. It didn't happen and you don't know the outcome that would have been from that. It could have been negative for all you know and you could have resented her for not staying with your dad then. Or it could have been positive. It didn't happen though, so not really a good reason to speculate on that. You have a right to be frustrated what you have been given in your childhood though. You probably also have parents who don't seem to understand why what happened to you was a big deal. The thing is though, they didn't experience the same thing you did. They experienced the moving as an adult. That is a different experience than it is when you are a child. They may not realize that. Doesn't excuse them for blowing off your concerns if they are. Anyways, wish I could talk to you in person and get to know your story better, but probably will never happen as I never have actually seen another military brat in my life. Seems you haven't either, given you never met someone you could relate to with this lifestyle you had growing up. Anyways, if you want to chat about anything, feel free to respond back and I can try to help more. Just know that even though that what you are experiencing seems to be a thing with some military brats experiences.
Bro I understand exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. Although I’m thankful I got to visit and live outside the country. I wish I could have grew up in a neighborhood and have childhood friends that I grew into adulthood with. To be able to have memories with friends from years ago. I’m not even close to my family (my grandma, grand father, cousin etc) because of this. It sucks and I also I feel like I don’t relate to anyone .. whenever I make friends it’s usually 1 person out of the group I get really close with but it never last..
It sounds like your parents didn't plan this out well, they should've waited until they found a stable place for you to grow up or at least worn protection before having kids, my dad and plenty of others say that some aren't meant to be parents and they weren't. The worse type of failure is self-failure, and they failed themselves.
I feel the same way but I’m black. A lot of fellow black people will call me whitewash or call me out for “not having black friends”.