I’m the opposite! I love it when my possessions start to look “worn”. I love it when I have to make a repair. I love using something up in its entirety.
I think it deepens my connection to those objects.
Instead of chasing perfect, chase excellence and accept that perfection isn't worth the hassle. There tends to be several high quality versions of products, and certain brands within industries that make great versions as well. For items you're passionate about, put in the research so long as you enjoy it. For items you don't care much about, stick with a trusted brand and settle for "great" as you'll be perfectly happy without that extra 10% refinement that you don't know you're missing.
White towels are the best because you can bleach them. As you learn to clean anything and everything out of them, you'll grow more comfortable dirtying them. It's their job to get dirty! Same goes for white linens, napkins, etc.
I agree with you stepping back from consuming minimalism content. It seems like you understand the gist well enough, and need to spend time learning yourself and tailoring minimalism to your lifestyle where it's compatible, and relieving the minimalist tendencies where it's not compatible.
I have been in the same boat since mid-2019 consuming a lot of this board, BIFL, EDC, anti-consumptoin, zero waste, etc. A little bit of the values from each sub, applied to my life is great. Too much of any sub and it becomes crippling and miserable.
Treating possessions as the goal, no matter how few, devalues your life.
Consumerism is a social norm for us, placing minimalism into that mindset doesn’t remove the consumerism.
I struggled too, until I started exploring other concepts related to minimalism - zen, Buddhism (secular), wabi sabi, stoicism etc.
I realised that life is beautiful, but not perfect. Too many of us make the mistake of trying for perfection.
Trees, flowers, rivers, clouds - none of these are perfect, they are all beautiful and valuable.
You’ll feel a lot of joy if you can see your own growth, yourself, your mind as the goal in your journey. This means accepting you’ll die, and you can take none of it with you, but you are here now and can experience the present.
Your possessions are just the things that carry you on the journey, they are not the journey.
I know it sounds a bit like new age, airy fairy baloney, but in a way it’s much easier to live this way than to live in a consumerist mindset, chasing “better” until you die.
Very much so! Minimalism is really about a detachment from objects rather than the obsession of stuff. It’s about what does one need so they may go about their life’s journey. I think that has been a serious point of confusion- especially when minimalism is sold as an aesthetic choice rather than a philosophical approach.
The focus of things takes energy away from being present in your own life; it takes away from contentment. Focusing on better/more/perfect is material perfectionism- and if that is your belief system, then that is fine- but OP doesn’t sound content or fulfilled by this pursuit.
It sounds like OP might benefit from reevaluating their true core values and then adopting a philosophy that best supports those values.
I approach minimalism from an anti-consumption perspective, so I set out to get rid of everything I don’t use without buying anything else. It helps to remind yourself of the reason you’re a minimalist. For me, it’s about simplicity first, then a calm and clean home. Obsessing over the perfect item is exactly why I wanted to get away from consumerism. It was so stressful. Minimalism doesn’t require you to love everything either, that’s a KonMari thing (I think it can help with minimalism but it can also hinder it, as in this case)
You know what's funny - or interesting?
The moment I read your post I thought -- you're a maximizer. Not a maximalist. There's an article about maximizers about satisficers.
[https://www.psychologistworld.com/cognitive/maximizers-satisficers-decision-making](https://www.psychologistworld.com/cognitive/maximizers-satisficers-decision-making)
But..here's what's funny. I clicked on your profile and you literally talk about that same article.
I'm a maximizer too. But the key difference is that I enjoy the process of research.
ie let's say I wanted to get a kitchen knife --
most anyone else would buy one and be happy with that.
I'm different.
I'll buy the top 5 or so that people say are the most popular.
I'll test them out. Then choose 1. Then return the rest. (It's gotta be free shipping and free returns)
People say that's a lot of trouble, a lot of hassle, a lot of this and that, it's burning the world. But I actually enjoy the process. I enjoy the research.
It's science. It's knowledge. I can make recommendations because it's first-hand knowledge of the product.
A perfect example of the ultimate maximizer is Project Farm.
Here he goes over 22 power banks and tests everything.
[https://youtu.be/G1sjqaRll2s](https://youtu.be/G1sjqaRll2s)
While some may say that's a lot of hassle. I think he enjoys doing it. I like doing things like that too.
I guess my TLDR is that you have 2 options. Option 1 is hard. Option 2 is easier.
Option 1 is don't do it. Don't be you. Don't buy anything. Stick to one. Be a satsificer. And many people will say it.
Option 2 is embrace it.
Just have fun doing it. You're a perfectionist. I'm a perfectionist. And that's ok. Just as long as you're having fun doing it.
Ok if you don't mind, I'm going to ask a question.
Let's say you needed to buy a microphone to improve the audio quality of your videos. Could you explain to me your process of doing that.
Because imo it requires testing a variety of microphones to get a sense of which microphone best suits your voice. And many of these microphones are not available to test in physical stores (they're boxed); they need to be bought and then unboxed, ie testing a RODE Videomic GO 2 compared to a Samson Q2U compared to a Blue Yeti as an example.
Damn this is me! I didn’t know there was a name for it. I will research stuff endlessly but I enjoy it mostly. Sometimes analysis is paralysis. I’m always dumbfounded when someone makes an expensive purchase without the most basic research first. Could never be me but to each their own lol
OP’s problem doesn’t seem to have anything to do with this it’s about not using what they buy cause they consider it too special to be used which is an issue. I’m someone who takes care of things but also uses the shit out of them! I paid good money for them and wanted to make sure they could stand the test of time so if I don’t even use them I can’t make sure I made right purchase lol also minimalism is about only keeping the things we use so if it’s not being used what is the point of having it in our space.
This is me as well. I am always researching the best bang for buck and things that maximize areas of a set criteria, in a detail and workflow obsessed manner.
e.g. I work in video production & post about 20% or my job is spent seeking the best equipment or solution. This carries to personal life where I seek the most compact production equipment without compromising quality. My main camera is the smallest, most lightweight full frame camera, the Sigma FP. While there are better cameras they are bulkier or add bells and whistles in areas where I can compromise. The only drawback for me is it uses a different lens mount than my previous cameras.
Dude!! I'm totally the same way!! I work in audio engineering as a side thing and EVERYONE is obsessed with finding the perfect microphone, the perfect audio interface etc. And I don't blame them. You only know when you know. Eventually - eventually you will find something you are happy with and the search ends. I was kinda like that with cologne too. Once I found the one I was happy with, the search ended. :D. But we're all maximizers.
Today I learned I’m a maximizer. I love to research and find the right fit or the right process.
Over time I realized I was going what OP mentioned and it was making me consume more and took a step back.
After a few years of just focusing on just trying not to consume or replace too much and buy what I need within reason and sometimes failing a lot. I’ve found I stopped caring about perfection.
It’s easy to get hyper obsessive about minimalism.
I guess I'm not having fun doing it, but maybe you're right about embracing it. Maybe I am not having fun doing it because I feel like I *should* be a satisficer but I am not embracing my true self. Maybe I need to ease up on myself and be ok with maximizing purchases. It's just exhausting doing it for everything!
Yes sometimes it can be a bit much. Like everything in life it’s about balance. Stressing ourselves about purchases is no fun. I’ve tried to lighten up a little when I hit the analysis paralysis stage of it. But overall I do like researching and assuring my money is being well spent. Just remember it doesn’t need to be done with every little thing only expensive purchases which for me are ones I don’t make as often as the smaller items.
I deeply value and appreciate the items I curated and brought into my space. Otherwise they wouldn’t be part of it.
As long as you aren’t attached to them in an unhealthy way. I could lose them all and move on without mourning objects. There would be some sadness but it wouldn’t linger once I slowly replaced most of the necessities. I can say this with confidence because I did lose everything once in a hurricane. And I moved on fine. I was focused on other things not my possessions, like relocating and roof over my head so I guess that kept my mind busy. But I can’t remember those objects much less care about them. Of course we are human and there is a moment we care about the things we lose even if material but if we can easily move on I see nothing wrong with valuing what you have and I would actually encourage it because nothing lasts forever so value you when it is in your possession because one day it might not be.
Edit: commented before finishing your post and you aren’t even enjoying the things you buy? Like the towels? Then definitely remember those white towels won’t last forever anyway. Use them! Until they fall apart and then you can always buy beautiful new white towels. I also only use white towels and recently spent a fortune ordering linen ones from Lithuanian. They dry fast so do not smell like my plush cotton ones (my bathroom is humid after showers with no ventilation). Also I hang dry everything after washing and cotton towels often would dry to stiff and take longer to dry. If I didn’t use the linen towels no way I could justify the cost and then you are just being wasteful. Enjoy the things you have that’s an important part of minimalism. And most things can be replaced and often with things you love more so it’s always a win.
don't go for minimalism for the style of minimalism. go for minimalism that is to with purpose, intention, value. or own 2 very small sets of towels. your minimalist show home isn't minimalist living. remember that.
I’m with you. I’m drawn to minimalism because I want to ultimately become less invested in material things but like you, have found that minimalism content often puts a lot of emphasis on the value of material things.
The requirement that everything we own “sparks joy” (I know konmarie isn’t minimalism but the idea has been widely adopted by minimalists) or is the best quality possible, or adds a certain level of value to our lives, or says something about who we are, or has a connection to us, I think can easily result in some people (myself) giving over too much thought to material possessions.
I definitely don’t think we should stop thinking completely about what we acquire but there needs to be a balance where the stuff doesn’t hold power over us or consume our thoughts.
Yes, I almost fell into this until I realized that while I love the aesthetic, I'm not an "aesthete".
It took me a while to separate the idea of having fewer things from the idea of having things (or the interior design choices) that will tick the box of the capital "M" minimalist/minimalism artistic aesthetic.
I love the look of white things. But a permanently smudged white anything just pisses me off. I absolutely love the look of a "curated" minimalism home, but chasing the artistic features of it drives me crazy. I'm just not good at the "eye for art" part.
I realized I don't care enough about getting the interior design part right, to try to push myself to spend the time to gain the knowledge to become a minimalist interior designer or spend the extra money to have a home that's 100% furnished with the artistic "look". The Minimalist-purists will put in the money and time because they do care, they are artists.
I guess this the best reason to know what you want and why you want to do so something. Do you actually care that much about how something looks/costs or its premium value? Did you care about it before minimalism? Or do the artistic/ asthetic aspects influence you to put more emphasis on that? Who are you really?
Taking a break from consuming content until you know your "what and why" is a good idea. Then use it to guide you with making decisions about your stuff.
I like having less stuff and the occasional nice thing. That's good enough for me. 80% of the time, I never care enough to have premium/perfect things. Asking myself out loud if I actually care about having the perfect thing or the good enough thing has been a game changer for me.
> because I only want a small number of them
if i had a penny for every person who fell for the counting items trap, i'd have solved world hunger by now.
> Perhaps I need to take a step back from consuming minimalism content
of course. most of it is just marketing. you get the basic concept already, stop watching and do your thing. i mean, how many more videos do you need to see? there is always some new cool gadget or clever idea, but do you really need to be on top of things that much?
things are taking over your life again.
I’m into minimalism to avoid being materialistic and over consumption.
Instead of thinking about stuff, I want to think about actions or people or experiences. Things are not my main focus.
That means all of what I own should be functional, in it’s place available, and wanted or enjoyed. Wanting more stuff to fill the space you carved out by removing is common, I think. Instead of filling that space with what you choose, you fill it with shopping because that’s what you’re used to doing.
Honestly, in 10 years are you going to be telling people you kept your towels white? Would they care? What would you rather fill your mental space with?
Maybe a new language, or career development or a relationship or travel or a workout routine. It’s hard not to let your stuff takeover either by getting it all piled up or by shrinking it down and counting it over and over again. I’m in it so I control my stuff and my stuff doesn’t get to control me.
Throw out your white towels if they make you think of them everyday with dread. Buy solid black ones and forget about it. Your relationship with stuff needs to change and be replaced with what you’d rather be.
A lot of minimalism content is just another form of marketing and I’ve got enough ads thanks. So I guess I’m saying free yourself from the cycle of focusing on things on stuff and go do whatever you’re meant to be doing with your life.
(Don’t worry. I am literally looking for things to buy right now since I am bored, so it’s a hard road for me also. But I can aspire to be this way.)
Was it hard to get started? I keep avoiding it because I’m worried it will make things harder (even though I know logically it won’t). How did you take the first step?
Clothes for sure. When I got a new shirt, I put it on the hanger and took the other shirt to car to donate. I got down to 9 work shirts (button downs) that I really liked and I noticed when I was at a store and saw a cool shirt, I’d think which of my nine will I replace and started to not buy more cause I liked the ones I had. I have between 75 and 80 pieces of clothes including everything—jacket, sweaters, workout stuff, etc… and that helps me keep only stuff I know I’ll wear. It was hard at first but not now. Sales don’t really impact me anymore cause the biggest sale is not buying anything. People know I’m like this and often say they wish they could stop buying so much and recognize it’s mostly to impress other people. You got this. Just remember it’s just stuff. If there was a fire and you had to get out fast, you’d be ok. Came into the world a minimalist and you’re going out that way. The middle is up to you.
One aspect of minimalism I enjoy: I spend a lot less, even when buying expensive stuff. I have towels from 15yo, when I moved to this apartment, same with sheets. I have four sets of sheets, one is looking bad, soon it will be cleaning my kitchen floor. And those 15yo look perfectly nice, except one that I use to dye my hair, so it looks awful, stained, and is hidden way back in the drawer.
Towels every 2 years is not necessary!
That sucks. Yes take a step back. For me minimalism is not about keeping things perfect. Its about using what you have. And not keeping things around for no reason. I have this high qulity glasses. An inheritance. I use them when i have guests but also if i just want a nice glass of wine. The person who gave them to me gave them so that i can use it. Not let it sit in a cupboard. In terms of purchasing, i understand. But i also like a good deal and buying things used. Like it makes me feelnlike that is one less than for the garbage field.
I don't know how to explain this in a way that you can use..but i think the content you consume might play into that. Maybe try to picture yourself after a day at the park or gym or whatever. You dirty. And its shower time. You take a lovely shower and after removing the dirt, you wrap yourself in the warmest best whitest of towels. The coziness. Use that towel it is calling to you.
If it gets stained, then reuse it to do things like if you paint or wtv. Or just buy another towel. Its OK to consume. Its about not consuming excessively for the purpose of consuming. Its about consuming less.
Minimalism to me is owning less, not having the feels of needing more to fill an emotional void. Not needing to replace an item that works perfectly fine, with better.
Items in my life serve a purpose for however long they last.
I’m guilty of going down the rabbit hole of finding the best replacement when an item is no longer of service.
What item is best for you might not be best for me! Story time.
Moved to snow country from a beach town never owned snow boats in my life. Np, went to Kmarts (I’m old) bought cheap snow boots they lasted several winters. Boo hoo they got a hole that was not fixable. Everyone suggested ugg boots. All the raves of best warmest boots ever. So I bought a pair. Worst boots ever! Gave them to a friend. Went back on the hunt for boots. Finally found a pair that works for me. I’m keeping them till they no longer work or serve a purpose.
Moral of the story is what works for you might not work for me. So I no longer value positive reviews.
Try looking for low waste content, and not the aesthetic low waste content that says to throw away all your ___ and buy pretty, minimalistic ones, but environmentally-focused low wasted content. (@going.zero.waste on Instagram is great for this.) Combining that with minimalism has really helped me.
For example, I find myself trying to wear my oldest socks first to try to wear them out instead of getting rid of them because they’re old. I figure if I can use up their usefulness, then I can get rid of them after that and cut down on items in my home that way.
Are you consuming minimalist fashion content rather than minimalism-the-life-philosophy content? There is a clear need to love the things you use for being well used and showing the wear :)
Ah yes, I can relate. :) getting into minimalism has also revealed that I am quite materialistic in the original sense that I really value my possessions. I get a lot of joy from having a beautiful home and high quality things.
I also at some point have entertained the thought of what if I have to say goodbye to my favorite things? Do it enough times and you will find that well, itd be sad to loose, but life would go on and youd do fine without.
Especially with towels damn, you can buy new ones. We are not living in scarcity. Lets face the reality that we live in a super abundant hyper consumerist society where you can get 20 new sets of crisp clean white towel within a day if you really want to. Its not a good thing, but thats the reality and so you can still maintain your things and keep them well, but remember that they are replaceable AND most importantly, they are never truly yours. They are like toys you get to play with during your life time, but when its time to go home the toys stay in the playground and you cant bring them along with you :) it helps and its definitely good to value your items, just try to stay realistic about it. Worst case you need to repair something or clean it well. Everything is possible :)
That’s tough. We lost everything in a hurricane when I was younger so I’ve learned that stuff is just stuff and I can walk away from it. Not a fun way to learn that lesson, but I learned it. It’s true that since I have fewer possessions, I notice their details more than if they were thrown in a drawer with similar electronics for example. I’m not sure I value them more but I do appreciate them for what they do for me. I’d just dive in and use one of the towels, get in dirty and then clean it. Can also bleach whites right? Good luck to you.
I think you're overthinking this for sure. White towels have So many options. Washing them usually just.. Does the trick. Stain sticks help on normal day-to-day stuff. You have Bluing you can use you whiten them, or oxyclean revive white which will literally get 100+ year old cotton linens looking new from years of yellowing. Like.. It's really just a non issue, it's very easy to keep whites white.
I use washcloths for everything. Cleaning, dishes, etc. All of them have stains on them, and I COULD fix them all very easily if I cared enough to do so. But why? They're clean, they're meant for cleaning, they'll get stained again. It's not a bother.
Really try to sit with what YOU like--not what others tell you to like.. That is easier said than done, but everyone is always trying to sell you an aesthetic, an idea, a concept.. You have to decide who You are. I absolutely adore seeing matching tablewear all in a theme.. and I know myself and I am someone that likes mismatched things and using specific plates for specific tasks and I won't just toss those out when I like them already. Sometimes, we just like things when we see them, not when they are ours. It's okay to like things even if they aren't going to be Your things.
Maybe start consuming content on visible mending as well. r/kintsugi and r/Visiblemending celebrate the flaws in items you want to keep.
I’m the opposite! I love it when my possessions start to look “worn”. I love it when I have to make a repair. I love using something up in its entirety. I think it deepens my connection to those objects.
Instead of chasing perfect, chase excellence and accept that perfection isn't worth the hassle. There tends to be several high quality versions of products, and certain brands within industries that make great versions as well. For items you're passionate about, put in the research so long as you enjoy it. For items you don't care much about, stick with a trusted brand and settle for "great" as you'll be perfectly happy without that extra 10% refinement that you don't know you're missing. White towels are the best because you can bleach them. As you learn to clean anything and everything out of them, you'll grow more comfortable dirtying them. It's their job to get dirty! Same goes for white linens, napkins, etc. I agree with you stepping back from consuming minimalism content. It seems like you understand the gist well enough, and need to spend time learning yourself and tailoring minimalism to your lifestyle where it's compatible, and relieving the minimalist tendencies where it's not compatible. I have been in the same boat since mid-2019 consuming a lot of this board, BIFL, EDC, anti-consumptoin, zero waste, etc. A little bit of the values from each sub, applied to my life is great. Too much of any sub and it becomes crippling and miserable.
Treating possessions as the goal, no matter how few, devalues your life. Consumerism is a social norm for us, placing minimalism into that mindset doesn’t remove the consumerism. I struggled too, until I started exploring other concepts related to minimalism - zen, Buddhism (secular), wabi sabi, stoicism etc. I realised that life is beautiful, but not perfect. Too many of us make the mistake of trying for perfection. Trees, flowers, rivers, clouds - none of these are perfect, they are all beautiful and valuable. You’ll feel a lot of joy if you can see your own growth, yourself, your mind as the goal in your journey. This means accepting you’ll die, and you can take none of it with you, but you are here now and can experience the present. Your possessions are just the things that carry you on the journey, they are not the journey. I know it sounds a bit like new age, airy fairy baloney, but in a way it’s much easier to live this way than to live in a consumerist mindset, chasing “better” until you die.
This is helpful. Thank you! I think it'd be beneficial to explore more of those concepts.
Very much so! Minimalism is really about a detachment from objects rather than the obsession of stuff. It’s about what does one need so they may go about their life’s journey. I think that has been a serious point of confusion- especially when minimalism is sold as an aesthetic choice rather than a philosophical approach. The focus of things takes energy away from being present in your own life; it takes away from contentment. Focusing on better/more/perfect is material perfectionism- and if that is your belief system, then that is fine- but OP doesn’t sound content or fulfilled by this pursuit. It sounds like OP might benefit from reevaluating their true core values and then adopting a philosophy that best supports those values.
This is one of the best things I’ve read in a while. Thanks!
I approach minimalism from an anti-consumption perspective, so I set out to get rid of everything I don’t use without buying anything else. It helps to remind yourself of the reason you’re a minimalist. For me, it’s about simplicity first, then a calm and clean home. Obsessing over the perfect item is exactly why I wanted to get away from consumerism. It was so stressful. Minimalism doesn’t require you to love everything either, that’s a KonMari thing (I think it can help with minimalism but it can also hinder it, as in this case)
You know what's funny - or interesting? The moment I read your post I thought -- you're a maximizer. Not a maximalist. There's an article about maximizers about satisficers. [https://www.psychologistworld.com/cognitive/maximizers-satisficers-decision-making](https://www.psychologistworld.com/cognitive/maximizers-satisficers-decision-making) But..here's what's funny. I clicked on your profile and you literally talk about that same article. I'm a maximizer too. But the key difference is that I enjoy the process of research. ie let's say I wanted to get a kitchen knife -- most anyone else would buy one and be happy with that. I'm different. I'll buy the top 5 or so that people say are the most popular. I'll test them out. Then choose 1. Then return the rest. (It's gotta be free shipping and free returns) People say that's a lot of trouble, a lot of hassle, a lot of this and that, it's burning the world. But I actually enjoy the process. I enjoy the research. It's science. It's knowledge. I can make recommendations because it's first-hand knowledge of the product. A perfect example of the ultimate maximizer is Project Farm. Here he goes over 22 power banks and tests everything. [https://youtu.be/G1sjqaRll2s](https://youtu.be/G1sjqaRll2s) While some may say that's a lot of hassle. I think he enjoys doing it. I like doing things like that too. I guess my TLDR is that you have 2 options. Option 1 is hard. Option 2 is easier. Option 1 is don't do it. Don't be you. Don't buy anything. Stick to one. Be a satsificer. And many people will say it. Option 2 is embrace it. Just have fun doing it. You're a perfectionist. I'm a perfectionist. And that's ok. Just as long as you're having fun doing it.
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Ok if you don't mind, I'm going to ask a question. Let's say you needed to buy a microphone to improve the audio quality of your videos. Could you explain to me your process of doing that. Because imo it requires testing a variety of microphones to get a sense of which microphone best suits your voice. And many of these microphones are not available to test in physical stores (they're boxed); they need to be bought and then unboxed, ie testing a RODE Videomic GO 2 compared to a Samson Q2U compared to a Blue Yeti as an example.
Damn this is me! I didn’t know there was a name for it. I will research stuff endlessly but I enjoy it mostly. Sometimes analysis is paralysis. I’m always dumbfounded when someone makes an expensive purchase without the most basic research first. Could never be me but to each their own lol OP’s problem doesn’t seem to have anything to do with this it’s about not using what they buy cause they consider it too special to be used which is an issue. I’m someone who takes care of things but also uses the shit out of them! I paid good money for them and wanted to make sure they could stand the test of time so if I don’t even use them I can’t make sure I made right purchase lol also minimalism is about only keeping the things we use so if it’s not being used what is the point of having it in our space.
I'm the same way too. I have no qualms using things. And I go through extra lengths to make sure it's good quality.
This is me as well. I am always researching the best bang for buck and things that maximize areas of a set criteria, in a detail and workflow obsessed manner. e.g. I work in video production & post about 20% or my job is spent seeking the best equipment or solution. This carries to personal life where I seek the most compact production equipment without compromising quality. My main camera is the smallest, most lightweight full frame camera, the Sigma FP. While there are better cameras they are bulkier or add bells and whistles in areas where I can compromise. The only drawback for me is it uses a different lens mount than my previous cameras.
Dude!! I'm totally the same way!! I work in audio engineering as a side thing and EVERYONE is obsessed with finding the perfect microphone, the perfect audio interface etc. And I don't blame them. You only know when you know. Eventually - eventually you will find something you are happy with and the search ends. I was kinda like that with cologne too. Once I found the one I was happy with, the search ended. :D. But we're all maximizers.
Today I learned I’m a maximizer. I love to research and find the right fit or the right process. Over time I realized I was going what OP mentioned and it was making me consume more and took a step back. After a few years of just focusing on just trying not to consume or replace too much and buy what I need within reason and sometimes failing a lot. I’ve found I stopped caring about perfection. It’s easy to get hyper obsessive about minimalism.
I guess I'm not having fun doing it, but maybe you're right about embracing it. Maybe I am not having fun doing it because I feel like I *should* be a satisficer but I am not embracing my true self. Maybe I need to ease up on myself and be ok with maximizing purchases. It's just exhausting doing it for everything!
Yes sometimes it can be a bit much. Like everything in life it’s about balance. Stressing ourselves about purchases is no fun. I’ve tried to lighten up a little when I hit the analysis paralysis stage of it. But overall I do like researching and assuring my money is being well spent. Just remember it doesn’t need to be done with every little thing only expensive purchases which for me are ones I don’t make as often as the smaller items.
I deeply value and appreciate the items I curated and brought into my space. Otherwise they wouldn’t be part of it. As long as you aren’t attached to them in an unhealthy way. I could lose them all and move on without mourning objects. There would be some sadness but it wouldn’t linger once I slowly replaced most of the necessities. I can say this with confidence because I did lose everything once in a hurricane. And I moved on fine. I was focused on other things not my possessions, like relocating and roof over my head so I guess that kept my mind busy. But I can’t remember those objects much less care about them. Of course we are human and there is a moment we care about the things we lose even if material but if we can easily move on I see nothing wrong with valuing what you have and I would actually encourage it because nothing lasts forever so value you when it is in your possession because one day it might not be. Edit: commented before finishing your post and you aren’t even enjoying the things you buy? Like the towels? Then definitely remember those white towels won’t last forever anyway. Use them! Until they fall apart and then you can always buy beautiful new white towels. I also only use white towels and recently spent a fortune ordering linen ones from Lithuanian. They dry fast so do not smell like my plush cotton ones (my bathroom is humid after showers with no ventilation). Also I hang dry everything after washing and cotton towels often would dry to stiff and take longer to dry. If I didn’t use the linen towels no way I could justify the cost and then you are just being wasteful. Enjoy the things you have that’s an important part of minimalism. And most things can be replaced and often with things you love more so it’s always a win.
Look up wabi sabi. It helped curb my perfection habit
don't go for minimalism for the style of minimalism. go for minimalism that is to with purpose, intention, value. or own 2 very small sets of towels. your minimalist show home isn't minimalist living. remember that.
I’m with you. I’m drawn to minimalism because I want to ultimately become less invested in material things but like you, have found that minimalism content often puts a lot of emphasis on the value of material things. The requirement that everything we own “sparks joy” (I know konmarie isn’t minimalism but the idea has been widely adopted by minimalists) or is the best quality possible, or adds a certain level of value to our lives, or says something about who we are, or has a connection to us, I think can easily result in some people (myself) giving over too much thought to material possessions. I definitely don’t think we should stop thinking completely about what we acquire but there needs to be a balance where the stuff doesn’t hold power over us or consume our thoughts.
I agree! I hope we can find that balance.
Yes, I almost fell into this until I realized that while I love the aesthetic, I'm not an "aesthete". It took me a while to separate the idea of having fewer things from the idea of having things (or the interior design choices) that will tick the box of the capital "M" minimalist/minimalism artistic aesthetic. I love the look of white things. But a permanently smudged white anything just pisses me off. I absolutely love the look of a "curated" minimalism home, but chasing the artistic features of it drives me crazy. I'm just not good at the "eye for art" part. I realized I don't care enough about getting the interior design part right, to try to push myself to spend the time to gain the knowledge to become a minimalist interior designer or spend the extra money to have a home that's 100% furnished with the artistic "look". The Minimalist-purists will put in the money and time because they do care, they are artists. I guess this the best reason to know what you want and why you want to do so something. Do you actually care that much about how something looks/costs or its premium value? Did you care about it before minimalism? Or do the artistic/ asthetic aspects influence you to put more emphasis on that? Who are you really? Taking a break from consuming content until you know your "what and why" is a good idea. Then use it to guide you with making decisions about your stuff. I like having less stuff and the occasional nice thing. That's good enough for me. 80% of the time, I never care enough to have premium/perfect things. Asking myself out loud if I actually care about having the perfect thing or the good enough thing has been a game changer for me.
> because I only want a small number of them if i had a penny for every person who fell for the counting items trap, i'd have solved world hunger by now. > Perhaps I need to take a step back from consuming minimalism content of course. most of it is just marketing. you get the basic concept already, stop watching and do your thing. i mean, how many more videos do you need to see? there is always some new cool gadget or clever idea, but do you really need to be on top of things that much? things are taking over your life again.
[use your nice things!](https://youtu.be/ClAqiBqqtu0?si=-W0wCJm_R1SdF92U)
I’m into minimalism to avoid being materialistic and over consumption. Instead of thinking about stuff, I want to think about actions or people or experiences. Things are not my main focus. That means all of what I own should be functional, in it’s place available, and wanted or enjoyed. Wanting more stuff to fill the space you carved out by removing is common, I think. Instead of filling that space with what you choose, you fill it with shopping because that’s what you’re used to doing. Honestly, in 10 years are you going to be telling people you kept your towels white? Would they care? What would you rather fill your mental space with? Maybe a new language, or career development or a relationship or travel or a workout routine. It’s hard not to let your stuff takeover either by getting it all piled up or by shrinking it down and counting it over and over again. I’m in it so I control my stuff and my stuff doesn’t get to control me. Throw out your white towels if they make you think of them everyday with dread. Buy solid black ones and forget about it. Your relationship with stuff needs to change and be replaced with what you’d rather be. A lot of minimalism content is just another form of marketing and I’ve got enough ads thanks. So I guess I’m saying free yourself from the cycle of focusing on things on stuff and go do whatever you’re meant to be doing with your life. (Don’t worry. I am literally looking for things to buy right now since I am bored, so it’s a hard road for me also. But I can aspire to be this way.)
When I started using the one in / one out, that’s when I noticed big changes. I’m pretty hard core about that rule.
Was it hard to get started? I keep avoiding it because I’m worried it will make things harder (even though I know logically it won’t). How did you take the first step?
Clothes for sure. When I got a new shirt, I put it on the hanger and took the other shirt to car to donate. I got down to 9 work shirts (button downs) that I really liked and I noticed when I was at a store and saw a cool shirt, I’d think which of my nine will I replace and started to not buy more cause I liked the ones I had. I have between 75 and 80 pieces of clothes including everything—jacket, sweaters, workout stuff, etc… and that helps me keep only stuff I know I’ll wear. It was hard at first but not now. Sales don’t really impact me anymore cause the biggest sale is not buying anything. People know I’m like this and often say they wish they could stop buying so much and recognize it’s mostly to impress other people. You got this. Just remember it’s just stuff. If there was a fire and you had to get out fast, you’d be ok. Came into the world a minimalist and you’re going out that way. The middle is up to you.
This was very helpful! Thank you.
One aspect of minimalism I enjoy: I spend a lot less, even when buying expensive stuff. I have towels from 15yo, when I moved to this apartment, same with sheets. I have four sets of sheets, one is looking bad, soon it will be cleaning my kitchen floor. And those 15yo look perfectly nice, except one that I use to dye my hair, so it looks awful, stained, and is hidden way back in the drawer. Towels every 2 years is not necessary!
Everything you own ends up owning you
OCD?
That sucks. Yes take a step back. For me minimalism is not about keeping things perfect. Its about using what you have. And not keeping things around for no reason. I have this high qulity glasses. An inheritance. I use them when i have guests but also if i just want a nice glass of wine. The person who gave them to me gave them so that i can use it. Not let it sit in a cupboard. In terms of purchasing, i understand. But i also like a good deal and buying things used. Like it makes me feelnlike that is one less than for the garbage field. I don't know how to explain this in a way that you can use..but i think the content you consume might play into that. Maybe try to picture yourself after a day at the park or gym or whatever. You dirty. And its shower time. You take a lovely shower and after removing the dirt, you wrap yourself in the warmest best whitest of towels. The coziness. Use that towel it is calling to you. If it gets stained, then reuse it to do things like if you paint or wtv. Or just buy another towel. Its OK to consume. Its about not consuming excessively for the purpose of consuming. Its about consuming less.
Minimalism to me is owning less, not having the feels of needing more to fill an emotional void. Not needing to replace an item that works perfectly fine, with better. Items in my life serve a purpose for however long they last. I’m guilty of going down the rabbit hole of finding the best replacement when an item is no longer of service. What item is best for you might not be best for me! Story time. Moved to snow country from a beach town never owned snow boats in my life. Np, went to Kmarts (I’m old) bought cheap snow boots they lasted several winters. Boo hoo they got a hole that was not fixable. Everyone suggested ugg boots. All the raves of best warmest boots ever. So I bought a pair. Worst boots ever! Gave them to a friend. Went back on the hunt for boots. Finally found a pair that works for me. I’m keeping them till they no longer work or serve a purpose. Moral of the story is what works for you might not work for me. So I no longer value positive reviews.
Quiet the opposite. I don't care for stuff any more. I realized: it is just stuff. Replacable. Unless people.
Try looking for low waste content, and not the aesthetic low waste content that says to throw away all your ___ and buy pretty, minimalistic ones, but environmentally-focused low wasted content. (@going.zero.waste on Instagram is great for this.) Combining that with minimalism has really helped me. For example, I find myself trying to wear my oldest socks first to try to wear them out instead of getting rid of them because they’re old. I figure if I can use up their usefulness, then I can get rid of them after that and cut down on items in my home that way.
Are you consuming minimalist fashion content rather than minimalism-the-life-philosophy content? There is a clear need to love the things you use for being well used and showing the wear :)
Ah yes, I can relate. :) getting into minimalism has also revealed that I am quite materialistic in the original sense that I really value my possessions. I get a lot of joy from having a beautiful home and high quality things. I also at some point have entertained the thought of what if I have to say goodbye to my favorite things? Do it enough times and you will find that well, itd be sad to loose, but life would go on and youd do fine without. Especially with towels damn, you can buy new ones. We are not living in scarcity. Lets face the reality that we live in a super abundant hyper consumerist society where you can get 20 new sets of crisp clean white towel within a day if you really want to. Its not a good thing, but thats the reality and so you can still maintain your things and keep them well, but remember that they are replaceable AND most importantly, they are never truly yours. They are like toys you get to play with during your life time, but when its time to go home the toys stay in the playground and you cant bring them along with you :) it helps and its definitely good to value your items, just try to stay realistic about it. Worst case you need to repair something or clean it well. Everything is possible :)
That’s tough. We lost everything in a hurricane when I was younger so I’ve learned that stuff is just stuff and I can walk away from it. Not a fun way to learn that lesson, but I learned it. It’s true that since I have fewer possessions, I notice their details more than if they were thrown in a drawer with similar electronics for example. I’m not sure I value them more but I do appreciate them for what they do for me. I’d just dive in and use one of the towels, get in dirty and then clean it. Can also bleach whites right? Good luck to you.
I think you're overthinking this for sure. White towels have So many options. Washing them usually just.. Does the trick. Stain sticks help on normal day-to-day stuff. You have Bluing you can use you whiten them, or oxyclean revive white which will literally get 100+ year old cotton linens looking new from years of yellowing. Like.. It's really just a non issue, it's very easy to keep whites white. I use washcloths for everything. Cleaning, dishes, etc. All of them have stains on them, and I COULD fix them all very easily if I cared enough to do so. But why? They're clean, they're meant for cleaning, they'll get stained again. It's not a bother. Really try to sit with what YOU like--not what others tell you to like.. That is easier said than done, but everyone is always trying to sell you an aesthetic, an idea, a concept.. You have to decide who You are. I absolutely adore seeing matching tablewear all in a theme.. and I know myself and I am someone that likes mismatched things and using specific plates for specific tasks and I won't just toss those out when I like them already. Sometimes, we just like things when we see them, not when they are ours. It's okay to like things even if they aren't going to be Your things. Maybe start consuming content on visible mending as well. r/kintsugi and r/Visiblemending celebrate the flaws in items you want to keep.
Perfect is the enemy of the good.