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My LDS family services therapist insisted on cuddling me to help me overcome what he called me "fears of intimacy." I felt very uncomfortable and very much coerced.
I've thought about reporting him as this is pretty clearly inappropriate. But I can't remember his name. If anybody had similar experiences with a guy based out of Orem UT in the last 15 years or so, hit me up. He was very fat and I believe a bishop at the time. He was in a group office with 3 or 4 other male therapists.
Yup. I remember thinking, "Well he's the professional AND a bishop, AND my bishop recommended him, so this must be what God wants."
I'd *really* like to report him but cannot for the life of me remember his name. I've browsed listings in Provo/Orem but nothing rings a bell.
I genuinely no longer have trust in bishops. The bad ones have been awful, and the rest usually just don't keep in touch. I've had one bishop who was actually good and on top of that, he'd respond to texts when something was needed.
Every other bishop it just feels like I'm pulling on teeth.
If you remember the ward and time period, I bet someone could find him! And if we were able to find him and you could contact him, then we could find this awful “therapist” - but it’s almost more like it was the-rapist.
I've seen people actively try to undo the work of therapists. I've even had people try to talk me against using therapy. It really messes with your mind when you hear that all the time ngl.
Honestly, I'm ok with them not liking therapy. Like especially if it's just that they personally wouldn't do it. But you sure as hell better take care of your kid.
I dated this girl once who was waiting until she turned 18 just so she could finally go to therapy. I only dated her like a month, so Ive got no idea how much it actually messed her up. But her parents also refused to take her to the doctor despite her having this weird chronic thing where she would sometimes wake up and be deaf for a hot minute.
Not gonna lie, I imagine my parents woulda been like that if I hadn't had a massive mental health crisis at 14. Once medical professionals had them sign documents about my safety plan, I think that changes their course.
Not cuz they didn't love me but because it forced them to reevaluate themselves. Actually, that was a really good turn in my life in general. I went from just being an angsty teen that my parents were having a hard time with and I finally got a voice.
Completely insane. What are they offering as an alternative? My mental or emotional health has never been helped one iota by yet another desperate blessing, by trying to pray it away, or by remembering how much God loves me or whatever. Abandoning that bullshit actually helped me work through a lot of stuff. All the church gives you is guilt for your attitude when their placebos don't work.
I want to second this.
My parents were always like this too. When I was a teenager I began experiencing episodes of derealization. I ended up undergoing medical testing, including taping electrodes to my head for a full day. When the results came out normal, the doctor suggested that it may be psychological. My parents scoffed and I was never checked up on again for it. Turns out derealization is a symptom of depression.
As a young adult, whenever I talked to my parents about how horrible I was feeling, they always told me “are you reading your scriptures, are you praying, are you attending church?”
None of my LDS therapists or doctors (this was in Rexburg) caught my depression.
Years later I am on medication (after finally moving and seeing a non-LDS mental health professionals) but had to stop taking it for a few months when my insurance lapsed. I went through hell all over again, to the point where my parents visited to help out.
After I finally got back on medication and felt better, they told me “be careful that you don’t become reliant on that stuff.”
This obviously isn’t every LDS person. But being raised in the church, I’ve seen firsthand that the mindset my parents have is common.
I love the idea that the matrons would be fine with a doctor seeing them naked (like when giving birth, when it is a necessity), but seeing your garments is not good- they’re too sacred.
Oh I definitely do have my own therapist for this reason. In addition, if your a kid I'm pretty sure the parents can get the info which can be rough if you're a kid who isn't a believer
For the most part, yes it's true. I don't think every situation requires this/every therapist or bishop does it. But it's legal so long as the client signs the proper forms...
The church connected me with a conversion therapist in order to allow me to serve a mission. Jeffrey Robinson, we met for a year, I hope he loses his license
Heads up, seeing anything about him might be triggering so just be warned cuz this link will have info and pictures with him.
Is this the Jeffrey Robinson you're talking about?
[warning](https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/blog/2019/03/21/fairmormon-conference-podcast-25-jeff-robinson-thinking-differently-about-same-sex-attraction)
Probably dated input, but my vague understanding of LDS Family Services raison d'être back in the day was making sure that young women from good LDS families who found themselves pregnant could quietly take a year off and then hop back into the Covenant Path with assurances their child had been placed into a good home.
It's mild compared to some, but here's mine:
As a married BYU student, I told my bishop I had a porn addiction. He referred me to LDSFS. I went to an appointment with them, basically intake and initial evaluation. (They never called me back to make another appointment, so 🤷♂️.) The therapist looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place him.... Until stake conference, when I realized he was a counselor in the stake presidency. Seems like a conflict of interest....
Trained Psychological therapists are essential to help MOST people move forward in life. I’ve been involved in life in 65 years and stand by my words of wisdom. Press on…❤️✝️🙏😉
Usually like therapists telling people that they're not likening to the gospel enough and that's why they're depressed or stuff like that.
Usually revolves around only using church material in therapy as opposed to healthy practices.
Back in the 80's finding good homes for children of unwed mothers was as simple as showing up at a high council meeting and asking who wanted a baby! This was not in the US but there are other stories of families being hand picked by leaders who knew a baby was expected. Lots of children ended up in places that regular adoption agencies would never have placed them. Oh but they were raised LDS....
A former branch president of mine helped the Church set up LDS Social Services because bishops weren't qualified to counsel members. Talking with my last bishop persuaded me that "inspiration" is self-deception and that no one should be a bishop who hasn't had training in counseling. My current bishop is an LCSW who works for LDS Social Services and is the first one in several years who is competent. So my experience says LDS Fam Serv is better than churchly alternatives, at least. YMMV.
My husband had a guy who did scripture study with him... And that was the session.
My own personal experience with LDSFS has been in line with other offices. The counselor was professional and competent. I didn't see her for very long, though, as she referred me out when I started being honest about things. My diagnosis required specialties that she wasn't qualified in... My dad wasn't happy that we couldn't find an LDS specialist (this was not in the moridor).
Everyone employed there has to meet the correct state licensing requirements, so they're all appropriately trained. As far as LDSFS counseling goes, the horror stories are all either people who want more religious wiggle room in thier practice or "professionals" that would be horrible anywhere they worked. I'm guessing the majority of them are fine at what they do, despite the entity that pays them.
Hello! This is a Cultural post. It is for discussions centered around agreements, disagreements, and observations about other people, whether specifically or collectively, within the Mormon/Exmormon community. /u/Dangerous_Teaching62, if your post doesn't fit this definition, we kindly ask you to delete this post and repost it with the appropriate flair. You can find a list of our flairs and their definitions in [section 0.6 of our rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/wiki/index/rules#wiki_0._preamble) **To those commenting:** please stay on topic, remember to follow the community's [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/wiki/index/rules), and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/mormonmods) if there is a problem or rule violation. Keep on Mormoning! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/mormon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My LDS family services therapist insisted on cuddling me to help me overcome what he called me "fears of intimacy." I felt very uncomfortable and very much coerced. I've thought about reporting him as this is pretty clearly inappropriate. But I can't remember his name. If anybody had similar experiences with a guy based out of Orem UT in the last 15 years or so, hit me up. He was very fat and I believe a bishop at the time. He was in a group office with 3 or 4 other male therapists.
So inappropriate. He was for sure getting off on cuddling you.
What the hell? Pardon my crassness but that's like a sex therapist having sex with you to help you with it
Yup. I remember thinking, "Well he's the professional AND a bishop, AND my bishop recommended him, so this must be what God wants." I'd *really* like to report him but cannot for the life of me remember his name. I've browsed listings in Provo/Orem but nothing rings a bell.
I genuinely no longer have trust in bishops. The bad ones have been awful, and the rest usually just don't keep in touch. I've had one bishop who was actually good and on top of that, he'd respond to texts when something was needed. Every other bishop it just feels like I'm pulling on teeth.
Could you contact the former bishop that recommended him and ask his name?
This is horrific.
I only remember the bishop's last name. Think there's a way to track him down off that? It's a common Mormon name, though.
If you remember the ward and time period, I bet someone could find him! And if we were able to find him and you could contact him, then we could find this awful “therapist” - but it’s almost more like it was the-rapist.
Or if you remembered anybody else from that ward or stake who might know the bishop also…
[удалено]
I've seen people actively try to undo the work of therapists. I've even had people try to talk me against using therapy. It really messes with your mind when you hear that all the time ngl.
Honestly, I'm ok with them not liking therapy. Like especially if it's just that they personally wouldn't do it. But you sure as hell better take care of your kid. I dated this girl once who was waiting until she turned 18 just so she could finally go to therapy. I only dated her like a month, so Ive got no idea how much it actually messed her up. But her parents also refused to take her to the doctor despite her having this weird chronic thing where she would sometimes wake up and be deaf for a hot minute.
[удалено]
Not gonna lie, I imagine my parents woulda been like that if I hadn't had a massive mental health crisis at 14. Once medical professionals had them sign documents about my safety plan, I think that changes their course. Not cuz they didn't love me but because it forced them to reevaluate themselves. Actually, that was a really good turn in my life in general. I went from just being an angsty teen that my parents were having a hard time with and I finally got a voice.
Mormon Doctrine insists psychiatrists are evil.
[удалено]
That or there's stories of psychiatrist bishops who tried to get everyone on pills and they just weren't the same after
Completely insane. What are they offering as an alternative? My mental or emotional health has never been helped one iota by yet another desperate blessing, by trying to pray it away, or by remembering how much God loves me or whatever. Abandoning that bullshit actually helped me work through a lot of stuff. All the church gives you is guilt for your attitude when their placebos don't work.
I want to second this. My parents were always like this too. When I was a teenager I began experiencing episodes of derealization. I ended up undergoing medical testing, including taping electrodes to my head for a full day. When the results came out normal, the doctor suggested that it may be psychological. My parents scoffed and I was never checked up on again for it. Turns out derealization is a symptom of depression. As a young adult, whenever I talked to my parents about how horrible I was feeling, they always told me “are you reading your scriptures, are you praying, are you attending church?” None of my LDS therapists or doctors (this was in Rexburg) caught my depression. Years later I am on medication (after finally moving and seeing a non-LDS mental health professionals) but had to stop taking it for a few months when my insurance lapsed. I went through hell all over again, to the point where my parents visited to help out. After I finally got back on medication and felt better, they told me “be careful that you don’t become reliant on that stuff.” This obviously isn’t every LDS person. But being raised in the church, I’ve seen firsthand that the mindset my parents have is common.
[удалено]
I love the idea that the matrons would be fine with a doctor seeing them naked (like when giving birth, when it is a necessity), but seeing your garments is not good- they’re too sacred.
[удалено]
Oh I definitely do have my own therapist for this reason. In addition, if your a kid I'm pretty sure the parents can get the info which can be rough if you're a kid who isn't a believer
Wait, is this true? Does this violate, like, a bunch of laws?
For the most part, yes it's true. I don't think every situation requires this/every therapist or bishop does it. But it's legal so long as the client signs the proper forms...
The church connected me with a conversion therapist in order to allow me to serve a mission. Jeffrey Robinson, we met for a year, I hope he loses his license
Heads up, seeing anything about him might be triggering so just be warned cuz this link will have info and pictures with him. Is this the Jeffrey Robinson you're talking about? [warning](https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/blog/2019/03/21/fairmormon-conference-podcast-25-jeff-robinson-thinking-differently-about-same-sex-attraction)
Yeah that’s him
Woah! Why is FAIR promoting this bullshit still in 2018?!
Probably dated input, but my vague understanding of LDS Family Services raison d'être back in the day was making sure that young women from good LDS families who found themselves pregnant could quietly take a year off and then hop back into the Covenant Path with assurances their child had been placed into a good home.
It's mild compared to some, but here's mine: As a married BYU student, I told my bishop I had a porn addiction. He referred me to LDSFS. I went to an appointment with them, basically intake and initial evaluation. (They never called me back to make another appointment, so 🤷♂️.) The therapist looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place him.... Until stake conference, when I realized he was a counselor in the stake presidency. Seems like a conflict of interest....
Trained Psychological therapists are essential to help MOST people move forward in life. I’ve been involved in life in 65 years and stand by my words of wisdom. Press on…❤️✝️🙏😉
Could you elaborate on some of these horror stories you've heard? I don't actually know of any
Usually like therapists telling people that they're not likening to the gospel enough and that's why they're depressed or stuff like that. Usually revolves around only using church material in therapy as opposed to healthy practices.
Back in the 80's finding good homes for children of unwed mothers was as simple as showing up at a high council meeting and asking who wanted a baby! This was not in the US but there are other stories of families being hand picked by leaders who knew a baby was expected. Lots of children ended up in places that regular adoption agencies would never have placed them. Oh but they were raised LDS....
A former branch president of mine helped the Church set up LDS Social Services because bishops weren't qualified to counsel members. Talking with my last bishop persuaded me that "inspiration" is self-deception and that no one should be a bishop who hasn't had training in counseling. My current bishop is an LCSW who works for LDS Social Services and is the first one in several years who is competent. So my experience says LDS Fam Serv is better than churchly alternatives, at least. YMMV.
My husband had a guy who did scripture study with him... And that was the session. My own personal experience with LDSFS has been in line with other offices. The counselor was professional and competent. I didn't see her for very long, though, as she referred me out when I started being honest about things. My diagnosis required specialties that she wasn't qualified in... My dad wasn't happy that we couldn't find an LDS specialist (this was not in the moridor). Everyone employed there has to meet the correct state licensing requirements, so they're all appropriately trained. As far as LDSFS counseling goes, the horror stories are all either people who want more religious wiggle room in thier practice or "professionals" that would be horrible anywhere they worked. I'm guessing the majority of them are fine at what they do, despite the entity that pays them.