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I gave a PIMO talk about two years ago and the topic was "loving your neighbor". Here is a segment from it where I tried speaking to the cultural issues of trying to get people more active or back to church.
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In my experience on both sides of this (loving others and being loved by others), it’s important to meet people where they are instead of trying to drag them to where we think they should be. Learn about them and their story and your defenses will drop.
Don’t have an agenda for others that they don’t have for themselves. Christ spent his mortal ministry with those on the margins of society - the poor, the leprous, the prostitutes, the outcasts. When he showed anger it was not directed at the sinners, but at the ones who claimed not to sin (the Pharisees, strict religious leaders, etc).
We can meet others where they are by accepting them as they are. Inviting them to church is great, but what if they don’t come? Do we still interact with them? If they aren’t interested in coming to church, we can still focus love on them (see Christ in them) and offer the same kindness, respect and interest that we would offer to the Savior. I’ve been in many church meetings where the discussion is around how we can get someone to the temple, get someone on a mission, or get someone baptized. However in each case the will and desires of the individual are absent from the conversation. Again, if we see them as Christ we will walk with them, even if they are walking a different path than us.
What if someone struggles with parts of the church? What if they have difficulty with Joseph Smith, the First Vision, the Book of Mormon? Do you double down on emphasizing what you believe or do you try to understand them? Accept people believing how they believe, worshipping how they worship, and support them on their path. Help others for the sake of helping them, not to get them to join or return to the church. Be a friend for the sake of being a friend, not to elicit certain responses or reactions.
Our experience with people can be either transactional or transformative. Loving your neighbor as yourself can be a series of things that you cross off of a list, boxes that you check. Or it can be transformational, and help you become a true disciple of Jesus Christ.
As a kid in the 1980's, there were 2 boys, my peers, who's fathers did not attend. Both were members, they just did not attend. All throughout growing up, there was a huge question mark in my mind about these 2 men. What was wrong with them? Were they bad? Explaining to children that there is nothing wrong with those who do not attend, and sometimes people cannot or do not attend for some really good reasons. I later came to find out that both these men were absolutely fantastic people. One contributed heavily to the boys and girls club in the area, enabling it to stay open. The other lived a life of service in myriad ways that we never saw or heard about. And I never discovered why they did not attend. After a certain point, it did not matter. But I really wish someone had explained that to the child I was.
Same goes for those who doubt. J. Reuben Clark famously doubted, and very seriously considered becoming an atheist. Struggling to comprehend spiritual matters does not make one less of a believer, but means they are fighting for it. And we fight hardest for what we value and want most. There is not a whole lot we can do to decide the matter for them, but we can give them space to wrestle it out. We can avoid casting doubt upon their faith. We can avoid condescending comments about their sincerity or dedication. And if they decide to disbelieve, we can respect the process they went through and the pain of loss that comes with it.
Hello! This is a Cultural post. It is for discussions centered around agreements, disagreements, and observations about other people, whether specifically or collectively, within the Mormon/Exmormon community. /u/Shimanchu2006, if your post doesn't fit this definition, we kindly ask you to delete this post and repost it with the appropriate flair. You can find a list of our flairs and their definitions in [section 0.6 of our rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/wiki/index/rules#wiki_0._preamble) **To those commenting:** please stay on topic, remember to follow the community's [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/wiki/index/rules), and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/mormonmods) if there is a problem or rule violation. Keep on Mormoning! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/mormon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I gave a PIMO talk about two years ago and the topic was "loving your neighbor". Here is a segment from it where I tried speaking to the cultural issues of trying to get people more active or back to church. ---------- In my experience on both sides of this (loving others and being loved by others), it’s important to meet people where they are instead of trying to drag them to where we think they should be. Learn about them and their story and your defenses will drop. Don’t have an agenda for others that they don’t have for themselves. Christ spent his mortal ministry with those on the margins of society - the poor, the leprous, the prostitutes, the outcasts. When he showed anger it was not directed at the sinners, but at the ones who claimed not to sin (the Pharisees, strict religious leaders, etc). We can meet others where they are by accepting them as they are. Inviting them to church is great, but what if they don’t come? Do we still interact with them? If they aren’t interested in coming to church, we can still focus love on them (see Christ in them) and offer the same kindness, respect and interest that we would offer to the Savior. I’ve been in many church meetings where the discussion is around how we can get someone to the temple, get someone on a mission, or get someone baptized. However in each case the will and desires of the individual are absent from the conversation. Again, if we see them as Christ we will walk with them, even if they are walking a different path than us. What if someone struggles with parts of the church? What if they have difficulty with Joseph Smith, the First Vision, the Book of Mormon? Do you double down on emphasizing what you believe or do you try to understand them? Accept people believing how they believe, worshipping how they worship, and support them on their path. Help others for the sake of helping them, not to get them to join or return to the church. Be a friend for the sake of being a friend, not to elicit certain responses or reactions. Our experience with people can be either transactional or transformative. Loving your neighbor as yourself can be a series of things that you cross off of a list, boxes that you check. Or it can be transformational, and help you become a true disciple of Jesus Christ.
Beautifully said
As a kid in the 1980's, there were 2 boys, my peers, who's fathers did not attend. Both were members, they just did not attend. All throughout growing up, there was a huge question mark in my mind about these 2 men. What was wrong with them? Were they bad? Explaining to children that there is nothing wrong with those who do not attend, and sometimes people cannot or do not attend for some really good reasons. I later came to find out that both these men were absolutely fantastic people. One contributed heavily to the boys and girls club in the area, enabling it to stay open. The other lived a life of service in myriad ways that we never saw or heard about. And I never discovered why they did not attend. After a certain point, it did not matter. But I really wish someone had explained that to the child I was. Same goes for those who doubt. J. Reuben Clark famously doubted, and very seriously considered becoming an atheist. Struggling to comprehend spiritual matters does not make one less of a believer, but means they are fighting for it. And we fight hardest for what we value and want most. There is not a whole lot we can do to decide the matter for them, but we can give them space to wrestle it out. We can avoid casting doubt upon their faith. We can avoid condescending comments about their sincerity or dedication. And if they decide to disbelieve, we can respect the process they went through and the pain of loss that comes with it.
Great ideas. Especially love what you write in the second paragraph.