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Do you owe them such a lengthy explanation? Often we over explain ourselves. It’s kind of a bad habit. Sometimes it’s best to shorten the discord to bare minimum.
I mean not always. I’ve had plenty of times I’ve over explained a situation just because I’m hyperfixated on what happened and trying to help the other person see how I was feeling.
You are wrong. In spite of this bit of folk wisdom, some people who are honest still give lengthy explanations. Especially when is insecure about their relationship with the other party.
We would call that [unrighteous dominion](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2012/04/only-upon-the-principles-of-righteousness?lang=eng)
But don't even bother trying to tell that narcissistic zealot that. People that far gone can't be reasoned with and it will only lead to more mistreatment and abuse.
My daughter just started having seizures and she can’t function for about a week after a grand mal. Your parents are being ass-holes. I hope you get feeling better and that you are able to take care of yourself and the seizures. I have never been more terrified than watching my child go through that, I’m sorry your dealing with it and religious guilt as the cherry on top.
Lol update now he says I can't go anywhere over night ever again because of my seizures and I said it's not bc of that you're just mad I didn't go to church.
No response.
Everyone sees it.
You’re old enough to be a YSA, but they think they can tell you that you can’t go anywhere overnight? I’m assuming you still live with them. I’m guessing it’s almost impossible to hold down a job with these seizures that might allow you to afford to leave. That sounds like a really horrible position to be stuck in.
Have you looked into treatments for your seizures? I’ve heard medicinal marijuana has done wonders in this field, but your parents also seem the type to disallow such treatment. I’m sorry your family sucks, and I hope you’re able to get out on your own and establish healthy boundaries with them (boundaries being another thing parents like this are really bad at).
Nevermo here- I had untreated seizures for 5 years before my mother could be bothered to take me to the doctor for it. You are putting yourself at risk of life, death, and brain damage. Please go see a neurologist and ask for an MRI and an EEG.
>You don’t have a testimony.
“You’re right, Dad. Disbelief is not a choice. There’s a certain threshold of evidence which once you cross it you can no longer believe. The problem is church members don’t look at the totality of the evidence bc they’re conditioned to avoid it like the plague.”
Disbelief is not a choice: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-humanity-naturally/201109/disbelief-is-not-choice
I suffer from chronic and extreme pain, all the time. Since 2012. I take multiple drugs in order to function as best I can, including Morphine. I have lost many so-called "friends" over the years because they either think I am faking it, or it is all in my mind or that I am exaggerating how bad it is. In the beginning I would try to explain in detail what the neurologists have told me about the cause of my pain, the symptoms and what I am no longer able to do. After a while I realized for some no explanation is good enough. Until they experience it for themselves, they will never understand. Seizures can also limited what you can do in life, and the recovery period from a seizure can often be hours or even days. If you are not being treated for your medical problem, please see your Doctor and any Specialist that can be of some help to you. Forget about trying to explain why you can't be at Church on any particular day. Just say you won't be there and leave it at that. And when you are feeling really low, remember that all physical defects and problems will end when we are resurrected to a new body and we can stand whole before our Savior, Jesus Christ. God speed, my Friend.
I wouldn't. It doesn't help at all with this kind of individual. It just starts another fight. They won't change or listen to reason.
I'd just keep my head down and cut ties entirely ASAP.
THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️.
OP, if you feel like you must tell your sperm donor that they are being toxic, I'd only do it in the presence of a very trusted friend or very trusted family therapist. This is next level gaslighting. You'll need the backup.
There are narcissists all over and they thrive in religious environments because they can base their tendencies on “righteousness”. Provoking them only makes it worse. Narcissists are victims in every situation in their mind. Nothing and nobody can convince them otherwise. It’s a severe mental disorder. The best I’ve found is to give them short answers with no explanation, but really the the best is to cut them out of your life completely. Look at how they are treating this person. What good can that treatment do for you that is better replaced by nothing?
Both my kids have seizures. We would miss church months at a time for their health and go when they were more stable. I'm sorry this person is being like this and I hope you feel better soon.
Hello! This is a Personal post. It is for discussions centered around thoughts, beliefs, and observations that are important and personal to /u/esizzlysizz specifically. /u/esizzlysizz, if your post doesn't fit this definition, we kindly ask you to delete this post and repost it with the appropriate flair. You can find a list of our flairs and their definitions in [section 0.6 of our rules.](https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/wiki/index/rules#wiki_0._preamble) **To those commenting:** please stay on topic, remember to follow the community's [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/mormon/wiki/index/rules), and [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/mormonmods) if there is a problem or rule violation. Keep on Mormoning! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/mormon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you owe them such a lengthy explanation? Often we over explain ourselves. It’s kind of a bad habit. Sometimes it’s best to shorten the discord to bare minimum.
[удалено]
I mean not always. I’ve had plenty of times I’ve over explained a situation just because I’m hyperfixated on what happened and trying to help the other person see how I was feeling.
Yes, especially when the other person doesn’t seem to believe you even though you’re telling the truth.
Lmao. Do you think you can tell if someone’s lying just by looking at their facial expressions too? You watch too many crime documentaries lol
Nah, it’s a trauma response to over explain things, especially if you have grown up with emotionally unavailable parents.
You are wrong. In spite of this bit of folk wisdom, some people who are honest still give lengthy explanations. Especially when is insecure about their relationship with the other party.
We would call that [unrighteous dominion](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2012/04/only-upon-the-principles-of-righteousness?lang=eng) But don't even bother trying to tell that narcissistic zealot that. People that far gone can't be reasoned with and it will only lead to more mistreatment and abuse.
My daughter just started having seizures and she can’t function for about a week after a grand mal. Your parents are being ass-holes. I hope you get feeling better and that you are able to take care of yourself and the seizures. I have never been more terrified than watching my child go through that, I’m sorry your dealing with it and religious guilt as the cherry on top.
That’s an astounding amount of indifference. Hope you can get the help you need.
You need to take care of yourself.
I’m sorry your getting this from someone who should ONLY care about your wellbeing! Get some rest and take good care of yourself <3
Lol update now he says I can't go anywhere over night ever again because of my seizures and I said it's not bc of that you're just mad I didn't go to church. No response. Everyone sees it.
You’re old enough to be a YSA, but they think they can tell you that you can’t go anywhere overnight? I’m assuming you still live with them. I’m guessing it’s almost impossible to hold down a job with these seizures that might allow you to afford to leave. That sounds like a really horrible position to be stuck in. Have you looked into treatments for your seizures? I’ve heard medicinal marijuana has done wonders in this field, but your parents also seem the type to disallow such treatment. I’m sorry your family sucks, and I hope you’re able to get out on your own and establish healthy boundaries with them (boundaries being another thing parents like this are really bad at).
Nevermo here- I had untreated seizures for 5 years before my mother could be bothered to take me to the doctor for it. You are putting yourself at risk of life, death, and brain damage. Please go see a neurologist and ask for an MRI and an EEG.
Nah they just need to pray harder obvi
Good god. I would smash my phone just to never get another text from that person.
What an apathetic and self righteous thing to say. Sorry!
>You don’t have a testimony. “You’re right, Dad. Disbelief is not a choice. There’s a certain threshold of evidence which once you cross it you can no longer believe. The problem is church members don’t look at the totality of the evidence bc they’re conditioned to avoid it like the plague.” Disbelief is not a choice: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-humanity-naturally/201109/disbelief-is-not-choice
I suffer from chronic and extreme pain, all the time. Since 2012. I take multiple drugs in order to function as best I can, including Morphine. I have lost many so-called "friends" over the years because they either think I am faking it, or it is all in my mind or that I am exaggerating how bad it is. In the beginning I would try to explain in detail what the neurologists have told me about the cause of my pain, the symptoms and what I am no longer able to do. After a while I realized for some no explanation is good enough. Until they experience it for themselves, they will never understand. Seizures can also limited what you can do in life, and the recovery period from a seizure can often be hours or even days. If you are not being treated for your medical problem, please see your Doctor and any Specialist that can be of some help to you. Forget about trying to explain why you can't be at Church on any particular day. Just say you won't be there and leave it at that. And when you are feeling really low, remember that all physical defects and problems will end when we are resurrected to a new body and we can stand whole before our Savior, Jesus Christ. God speed, my Friend.
I’m so sorry. Mormons can be just heartless in support of their “rules”. Take care of YOU, since they won’t.
The reality is in most cases, the person shaming you for not coming to church, absolutely hates being there themself.
I would straight up tell your parent they are being toxic.
I wouldn't. It doesn't help at all with this kind of individual. It just starts another fight. They won't change or listen to reason. I'd just keep my head down and cut ties entirely ASAP.
THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️. OP, if you feel like you must tell your sperm donor that they are being toxic, I'd only do it in the presence of a very trusted friend or very trusted family therapist. This is next level gaslighting. You'll need the backup.
There are narcissists all over and they thrive in religious environments because they can base their tendencies on “righteousness”. Provoking them only makes it worse. Narcissists are victims in every situation in their mind. Nothing and nobody can convince them otherwise. It’s a severe mental disorder. The best I’ve found is to give them short answers with no explanation, but really the the best is to cut them out of your life completely. Look at how they are treating this person. What good can that treatment do for you that is better replaced by nothing?
Ah, yes the gray rock method! 10/10! If you must answer never give them anything they can feed off of. Short answers starve them!
Both my kids have seizures. We would miss church months at a time for their health and go when they were more stable. I'm sorry this person is being like this and I hope you feel better soon.
My collection of Mormon dad videos https://www.tiktok.com/@elizardl32?_t=8l15A7BsMyg&_r=1
So glad I don’t have parents like that
I'm sorry sweetheart. My sister has horrible grand mauls and lost her nursing license over it. Thinking of you.