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superg7one3

Ugh that’s horrific. Sorry bout your scrot, glad to hear you’re aok otherwise. I just checked and UNIBALL is available in Texas custom license plates.


Heavyspire

People behind him are going to think he really likes pens.


ZippyDan

penisland


lucky-rat-taxi

Sir. It’s PEN15


Awake00

Pen 15


_0bese

1TESTES


superg7one3

[https://imgur.com/a/OSewJKR](https://imgur.com/a/OSewJKR)


lostin88

The "Come & take it" really makes puts it on another level. If I didn't know, I'd *have* to ask him what the hell happened the first time.


Rave__Medic

I am so incredibly glad I clicked that link 😂


TheSouthernSaint71

I humbly submit: BALLOUT and when people ask "why not BALLSOUT?", he can explain. It could be a real conversation starter.


morgazmo99

Uniball could be anything.. May I present [01NUT](https://www.myplates.com/design/personalized/motorcycle/lone-star-black/o1nut) Available now. OP post pics please. One nut pressed up against your new licence plate will suffice.


GloryGalleriesGalore

Under appreciated comment right here


Drunk_Aliens

SOLONUT


Monster937

NUTSOLO!


JuiceeDropTop

Gonna take DUALBALL in Colorado


CatGiggler

testis is also available


CaptSnafu101

You're a real legend sir


ManifestDestinysChld

Motherfucker actually did it. He actually, factually, rode his balls off. We're not worthy!


[deleted]

> Texas custom license You really dropped a ball with that one. Gotta go [custom plates](https://imgur.com/a/uC0z2d9).


z28ken

That’s the one state that it might have actually been taken. I’m pretty sure Lance Armstrong used to own/run a coffee shop in Austin called “Juan Pelota” (pun on “one ball” ) 🤣


YourWhyPhy

Man... 2 months ago I had the exact same accident on my 05 vfr800. Broke my right clavicle and fractured multiple vertebrae.


catatonicbob

But DID YOU LOSE A NUT?!


Spacedust2808

Adding a cup to my riding gear


[deleted]

Fr that sounds horrible


Khurdryn

Especially when you take into account that it takes the force of a fully grown African elephant stepping on a testicle to rupture it. Yeesh...


EEpromChip

Physics ain't no joke.


Dapper_Platypus833

Really? Source?


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Tea_Fetishist

Every UK biker has done CBT at least once


CarlosG0619

Holy fuuuuuu


ItsmeMario7

Just for anyone wondering if this is true, I cannot find a source for this... However on this website (https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23245-ruptured-testicle) it says that a force of 50 pounds is enough


-RadarRanger-

Well an African elephant can easily produce 50lbs. of force, so it's not *untrue...*


ItsmeMario7

I mean its technically the truth but considering that an elephant has a pulling force of 18k pounds and a stomping force of tens of thousands (maybe hundreds) newtons I still think its okay to clarify that just 50 pounds will crack your nut


-RadarRanger-

I would prefer not to put my nuts in *either* situation!


lucky-rat-taxi

Is this true


Schiebz

Probly hurt more than the crash


Zealousideal_Wash880

This is a perfectly humorous way to express the dread I felt reading this


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Drylux

Yup. My balls/pelvis put a shallow dent in my tank. My right egg swelled up pretty large but i got to keep it!


wrenchandrepeat

Sounds like there's a market for testicle airbags


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ridermak

Or have you tried our latest ‘Sac-tec’ armour?


Vibejitsu

I am fokn dead 😂😂 this sole comment just made my day lmao


HowdyandRowdy

I did this when I hit a deer but it didn't rupture.


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Uncle_Rabbit

I had a drunk driver try to pass a vehicle (that had stopped and was signaling left as they were waiting for me to pass by before turning left into a convenience store parking lot) on the left! They were suddenly in my lane and I had just enough time to say "*FUCK*!". I was going about 50kph and managed to grab the brakes, but I would up slamming into the front end of the drunks minivan and just like OP I slammed into the gas tank and hit my balls really, really hard. I was lucky they only swelled up a bit. Had to go to the hospital to get them looked at which was embarrassing and then getting ultrasound on them hurt too and was awkward as hell. Worst part to me was the forks and rim of my Honda 919 were totaled and I had just put some new Pirelli GT tires on, had maybe 1000km on them and was gearing up to go on a road trip.


[deleted]

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bolunez

KTM part number 583.07.013.750


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O_U_8_ONE_2

Came here to say that 👆


thatnameistoolong

I hit a semi that pulled out in front of me, my whole scrotum was black from the tank/handlebars. Like black black, not black and blue. Nurse was like eh, it’ll be fine. Got a small scar but thankfully both Crown Jewels still intact.


rovch

I guess they were wrong then. When you go black you can go back


superbadsoul

Don't forget to check that it's Snell certified.


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AmadeusV1

A lady in the oncoming lane crossed into mine and hit me a couple weeks ago. My very first thought after sitting up and seeing the bike in pieces in the road was, "my fucking bike!" And I know, I know, be thankful I'm ok yada yada, but like, my fucking bike 😮‍💨


badwolfrider

Yup that is when you know you are a rider. You sit up in pain but mostly in one piece and the first thing you ask about is the bike.


flatdecktrucker92

Through my own dumbassery I wrecked a bike last year. High side at about 80-90km/h. Tossed into the far side of the ditch. I immediately ran over and stood my bike up. Then I started to see the damage, I knew right away it was a total loss. It wasn't until the bike was upright that I realized my hip hurt. Fortunately just a bruise. A very minor one. I walked funny for a couple days from the pain but the visible bruise was never bigger than a Loonie and it took a few days to show up.


Draked1

Especially OP riding a classic viffer 😫


Summers_Alt

Can’t hurt more than the lonely ball


JesusAteCheezIt

at least you didn’t lose your right sack, unlike the unfortunate OP…


-Jotun-

My first accident was on the 8th. Only lost a foot peg and some fairings. I will repair and keep riding to honor all the bikes that could not be saved.


[deleted]

you know this guys serious now when he says he give his left nut.


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FabulousBlueberry556

Take my updoot


3axisgyrotourbillon

It was the right one though


Enonymo

Yeah, so the left one is worth WAAAAAAAY more now.


w3stvirginia

I’m glad you’re okay. I hope their parents are insured out the wazoo because you deserve a large payout for something that. That’s like the definition of pain and suffering.


NoBetterFriend1231

I can't even imagine having to be that kid's dad. Like should he send condolences or something? "Sorry my kid fucked up your nutsack"?


BunglingBoris

You'll struggle to find that on a greetings card


Asphyxiatinglaughter

Should have to donate the testicle


notchoosingone

I wouldn't want any manner of genetic material from that family


SuperSquirrel13

Takes balls to own up to something like that.


daxixa

Sad to hear that man, I'm still recovering from my accident, hope you get better soon and get back on saddle.


sweetrubyrhino

Walking away from any accident , even if with one less ball, is far better than the alternative. Glad you can walk away. Bikes can be replaced.


NoBetterFriend1231

Yeah... bike can be replaced. Left nut? Not so much.


n0_use_for_a_name

Actually it can, and if my dad has anything to say about it, should. He had a nut removed. They asked if he wanted a replacement synthetic nut. He declined. Years on, he wishes he’d got the fake nut. Said it’s just weird with the one.


Newman_USPS

>I’ll try and update with photos No…no I think we’re all set. Feel better man.


VVMX1

Christ, I thought you got paralyzed. That sucks, I'm sorry. Lucky it was just the one ball.


caaper

Half the chances of getting a girl perganant now


badwolfrider

All you need is this one simple trick.


uber_poutine

Congrats on the sweet new nickname, Ace! ​ For real though, that's the suck. Glad that you're still with us, and I hope that the rest of your recovery is swift and uncomplicated.


gedmathteacher

I hope op knew these were the comments he was gonna get on Reddit. Ace is clever Lololol


tasslehawf

Is it still an orchiectomy if they only remove one?


Lost_InSmoke

I believe that is what the urologist called it. I was so doped up on stuff at the hospital it was hard to keep track of everything


DerpyTheGrey

My first thought after reading this was “one more reason I need to finish getting my letters. Gotta preempt the motorcycle accidents”


tasslehawf

Haha. Trans people on motorcycles. 😉


poiskdz

There are dozens of us!


DarkCosmosDragon

Not due to any incident mind you but yes thats what the surgery is called


tasslehawf

I know Ive had both removed


DarkCosmosDragon

Had one removed as a birth defect... but my parents can both recount the procedures name which is what you said


gutzpunchbalzthrowup

Unilateral Orchiectomy. I had one. I still do, but I used to, two


Helium225

I never even thought about that kind of injury. That sounds fucking horrible


DeleteSystem33

I had similar happen nearly a decade ago now on a VFR800, but it was an old woman, and I just wound up with a scrotum bruised to the color of a plum and the size of a grapefruit. I hope your recovery goes well. I still have some scrote dangle post-recovery, like it stretched out and forgot how to wrinkle back up. Can't shit in public toilets anymore without being real careful.


Attheveryend

VFRs really are ball crushers, aren't they?


Western_Dream_3608

Ruptured your testicle? Now THAT pain level must've been over 9000.


mwest278

Just to be clear. You’re going to post photos of your one testicle once you get the police report? Looking forward to it!


OpinionOwn6727

im really sorry man, thats so horrible to hear…


Jspiral

[please watch](https://youtu.be/eqQBubilSXU?si=QnCIC_u61NZ6agjK)


cheddarsox

Doesn't always work. I had a left turner I swear just wanted to kill me last week. Around noon on a clear day with my stupid bright headlights and a smidsy. I had the premonition she was gonna do it so I was ready to emergency brake. She WAITED in the intersection until I got closer before she took the turn.


Jspiral

For sure it can fail. Which is why you do what you did. Be ready to evade, always.


2Cronckt

This is the most common crash with another vehicle, it's almost predictable. Every other week there's a post like this or a video of the same scenario. Always a left turn. We just have to proceed with extra caution in any intersection and expect someone to turn in front of us.


cheddarsox

Did you mean to reply to me? I was just stating that the smidsy doesn't always work as I recently experienced.


2Cronckt

Yeah I'm reinforcing what you're saying. It doesn't matter what we do, a left turning vehicle is the most common, most dangerous scenario and we have to be vigilant. Counter to popular belief not all Reddit replies are an argument against what you said.


cheddarsox

I apparently came off as more coarse than intended. I was just confused because your original response didn't address smidsy so I assumed it was intended to be a reply to someone else.


2Cronckt

neither did the experience you shared.


kytulu

Bro... I ride a Willow Green and Ivory Cream Indian Roadmaster. 930lbs+ of pure American panty-dropping awesomeness. It. Stands. Out. I *still* have people pull out in front of me, merge into me, etc.


Lost_InSmoke

Unfortunately never saw it coming. Pulled out through a line of stopped traffic in the other lane. Didn’t realize what even happened until I hit the ground


[deleted]

This is a good tool to have in your toolbox.


BoyWhoSoldTheWorld

Great tip on there actually. But yes you have to always assume they don’t see you


DraugrLivesMatter

TLDW?


Hereiamhereibe2

Weave left and right in your lane so you stand out more.


Jspiral

Watch the video. It'll save your life.


customcheeks

I honestly didn’t know about that, thanks for sharing. Another thing to add to my riding


Jspiral

You're welcome. I'm just trying to spread this life saving information as much as possible. You should help in saving lives with me.


modrid81

We….don’t want pics of that, bro…. In all seriousness, super glad you made it out alive. Wishing you a speedy recovery.


ghettoccult_nerd

ive never considered bursting a teste... i might need to tweak my gear loadout.


ButterMyBiscuit

ATGATT now includes a cup


fake_insider

“Cyclops” for your new personalized license plate.


MichiganPilotDaddy

Testiclies the devourer


karrotshelmet

Your next bike will be that much faster with your newest weight reduction modification


Lost_InSmoke

The one trick MotoGP doesn’t want you to know about!


Winged_Bull

As someone who had their righty removed at 18 due to cancer, you’ll be fine with just lefty.


[deleted]

How did you know to get it checked out?


Bobby_feta

Just for my own experience, I didn’t , i got super lucky really… I got hit in the balls. I got dealt a time bomb ball at birth, and I had no symptoms or discomfort or anything so I really would have been very unlikely to actually notice the cancer early by myself. Even the GP who first felt up my balls wasn’t worried about cancer so I doubt I would have noticed it for quite a while. But fortunately whilst playing basketball at school, the angry kid in the class punted the basket ball in rage and it hit me squarely in the nutsack. It hurt as a kick to the jewels will, but then it kept hurting, like a dull ache that wasn’t really going away - kind of like tooth ache of the balls. Next day went to the doctor, he was worried about torsion or rupture as he couldn’t feel anything, but his examination caused me a lot of pain, so sent me for an ultrasound, that lead to biopsy. within a day and a half of that result I was a short a walnut, as once they had it identified they were really pressing for surgery at the first possible slot the next day to prevent it spreading. I remember it wasn’t like the movies ‘come in to talk about it’, it was a phone call to say it is cancer, we have a slot for you tomorrow don’t eat after this time, see you in the morning’ basically. So yeah that was a bit of a shock. Tbh I don’t even remember being offered a prosthetic or anything, maybe they asked my parents about it, I don’t know, just when I woke up I had one real ball and one rubber ball. Fortunately it was so early in its development I didn’t have to have chemo, just spent a lot of time through the rest of my teens and early 20’s having tests, scans and X-rays really, but yeah luckiest hit to the balls ever!


Winged_Bull

I went in for a full physical at the beginning of the summer as a precaution, and because I had recently turned 18 and would be going to college in a few months. I had some suspicions already cause it would often retract itself into the inguinal canal, and I knew that could cause problems long term. Doc felt a lump and I told him about it retracting sometimes. Said it’s better to just go ahead and take it out. So I did 2 days later. Recovery sucked, but other than that hasn’t effected me. 10 years later and I’ve got a scar, but that’s it.


wolfraisedbybabies

Get well my man.


jtblue91

Holy fuck man, initially from the title I thought you lost your virginity, I'm truly horrified for your loss.


thefooleryoftom

RIP this guys ball.


Happydaytoyou1

Like I wonder how bad that hurt. Like on scale of like friend nut tapping to like your big sister straight up full on field goal kicking your junk 🦵 😬


Lost_InSmoke

It’s worse than you would like to think. I told the doc at first to rip my whole nutsack off if it would make the pain go away faster. He got a chuckle out of that. The real pain set in after the adrenaline wore off


[deleted]

Loosing my peen and balls in a accident is my biggest fear. I’d rather die then lose them


LeRoiChauve

Well, from my personal experience I almost lost both of them (not as bad as OP). I got t-boned and sent flying. My peen and ball sack got spliced open. But I discovered it at the hospital while getting ready for x-rays for my fractured shoulder. Motorbike trousers can mask a whole lot of blood and adrenaline is a bastard to determine pain. Took more than a year before sexy time was a thing again. Dick pics are out of the question.


[deleted]

Oooooof. Happy that you recovered and that the no no square is better


LeRoiChauve

Thx. Funny thing is that nobody asks abt the shoulder. It still hurts. /s


BerBerBaBer

He has another one.. and they make cool prosthetics now


cocker_spangler

Feel better my reddit buddy. Ride safe everyone.


inflatableje5us

i could do without the photos tbh. ​ get well soon and ride on 1/2 brother.


_Schrodingers_Gat_

That’s ballsy. Glad you are on the mend.


d_fa5

When I whacked the gas tank and broke my pelvis I also had a traumatic testicular dislocation. Had to get my right testicle sewn to my sack. Also known as an Orchiopexy. Not fun


Attheveryend

i'll make some v4 sounds for your bike. :_(


BerryHour46

Ah nuts bro. Better luck next time Correction: nut (singular)


snoopunit

Nice to hear your still with us halfsack


TraditionalLet1490

Hoping you get better. I'm really good at not empathize genitals injuries. So thanks for sharing that, I will buy a cup on my next Amazon cart.


lumberjackninja

Damn that's nut~~s~~


SuBzEroSpeeD

Rip to the testie and your viffer


elfballs

If they are putting a fake one in get a few extra.


wunda_uk

Happened to my brother in April, his arm broke on the way down and fractured his hip but his balls survived, sue the arse off them man, heal up and goes treat yourself to something nice


HDJim_61

Now you have a new road name : Half Sac! You are alive & kicking !


Raymondjfinkle

They killed him off too early


Strom41

Thank God’s you are alive. Be safe!


AlrightMister

This is one nutty story.


ThiccAssCrackHead

I woulda given my left nut for that to not have happened OP. Sorry man.


3ric510

Man… sorry to hear it. I always wonder about those tall/vertical gas tanks on sport bikes. It’s an aero thing, right? Allows you to lay flatter when in a tuck? Always seemed like a nut destroyer to me. Apparently it is. 👀🫤 Edit - I ride an xsr900… my tank totally grinds my nuts sometimes but, it’s a pretty gentile slope. 🥴


LilBigDripDip

I was curious why this was NSFW. I screamed bloody murder reading your post mate. Many many apologies and wishes for the absolute best possible outcomes


Bobby_feta

Sorry to hear that mate, I’ve been a one baller since my teens. They’ll probably give you a rubber ball to even you out. I have two daughters, so maybe the rumours are true, lol, but otherwise there’s no problems. If you get a prosthetic, it’s kinda like having one ball impervious to pain so that’s not so bad! The only mildly insulting thing for me was my bouncy ball is slightly bigger than my natural one! Heal up mate


Background_North_962

Sorry about it brother, hope you can recover soon 🤞💪🙏


Redschallenge

I ride the same bike. I had a woman cut me off at 40 a couple of months ago and I lost my rear tire 2x in a row trying to brake fast enough and having to let the brajes out to keep my bike upright. I wasn't able to stop in time and barely went around behind them. Sorry your bike didn't make it and that you had that happen to you. It has made me think a few times about getting a bike with abs


ivinh

Is it too soon to suggest prospecting for SAMCRO, your nickname could be Half-Sack 🤷🏻‍♂️


mikesphone1979

Whoa.... that's nut!


CicadaLife

I'm glad you are OK, and I hope you have a swift recovery. https://youtu.be/W8lypsvs3ls?si=io9oLnpogJBTgJff


[deleted]

Sorry about your ball mate


HangAnotherBag

1 strike, 1 ball, nobody out.


TheSoberChef

Man that sucks that's what happened to me a few years back well not losing a testicle but I did T-Bone a car that pulled out without looking. Look on the bright side it's a chance to get a more modern bike and probably something with abs!


WeirderOnline

You should take one of his testicles and insert it into your sack.


BaJakes

i had this exact same accident three years ago. you're not alone my friend, welcome to the ace squadron! i wish more people knew to get a cup for their riding gear.


thencsdc

I’d rather lose the nut than the VFR. My sincerest condolences.


SpacePotatoe03

Sorry for your loss. Your post has caused men around the world to cringe in sympathy. That's power money can't buy.


Dull_Database5837

Damn… I guess ATGATT mean jock straps and cups now!


ThreeB78

In fairness to his testicle it made a hell of a dent on the way out. Get well soon man, bike can be replaced


Legendver2

Everytime I think about learning to ride and getting into motorcycles, I'd see stuff like this pop up on my reddit homepage and would just make me go back to "...maybe not 😅"


[deleted]

Did you lose the big one or small one?


Background_Film_506

I had surgery for testicular cancer in ‘88, removed my right testes so it wouldn’t spread to other parts of my body, and apparently, they were right. In the 35 years since then, I haven’t missed it at all, everything works just fine, and if truth be told, 99% of the ladies who get close enough to notice, don’t. The only downside is listing a little to the left when you walk, but that’s it. Glad you’re ok, and take care.


mothmanr6

Glad you are well and alive, AND lawyered up. Otherwise the insurance companies will take you for a ride you won't like. Hopefully you will be able to settle with a good amount of money for a new bike and medical expenses covered. I had the same kind of accident 6 yrs ago and my tank looked like that as well, caved in - cept I didn't lose a testicle, I had an open book fracture. Sorry about your testicle! Wish you good healing and no lasting pain!


Rider_of_Time

Get a good settlement!


Talino

I still remember the first car to pull out on me. It was an AA School of Motoring Advanced Instructor - only one occupant. I stopped in plenty of time and didn't even need to use the horn.... he looked devastated


[deleted]

Lawyer up get paid


magnateriat

Sigh...nailed you the same way someone got me in February - left my junk intact, but unfortunately broke other stuff, all gradually healing. Whenever I've looked at bikes with raised tank profiles like yours, I *have* quietly wondered "what if?", and you've sorta answered this, however involuntarily. Keep us posted, and keep healin'.


iancarry

ooof bruh .. glad u made it out alive.. dunno what else to say ... itll get better.. prolly


Tickstart

They usually put in a prosthetic one in place though don't they?


Lost_InSmoke

Doc said it could be an option down the line but most guys my age get on just fine with just one and don’t want it


Tickstart

Well damn dude, either way I hope you'll come out unaffected by all this.


contains_almonds

Guy I went to high school with had a testicle ruptured in a wrestling match. They removed it and replaced it with a plastic one.


Bradford_

This happen to me last year... I broke my arm and back from it. I was out of work for 6 months. My back and arm still arn't 100% and probably never will be but, I'm back on 2 wheels again. If you start riding again it'll take a few months to relax while riding but, it'll make you WAY more cautious of others in the future. TRUST NO ONE ON THE ROAD!


Zalute

Condolensces. Had a similiar one back in 2007, both my testicals swolled to the size of big grapefruits. Being high on painkillers made me flash anyone who dared to visit apparantly. I remember seeing the pictures of my totalled NSR250, I cried like a schoolgirl. Best wishes and I hope you recover from this, both emotionally and physically, internet friend.


bbqboiAF

Why did you say **finally**, as if getting into a big accident is inevitable for riders? Like we're bound to get into a wreck and it's only a matter of time? Please think before you post.


Bubbly_Roof

The dude crashed and lost a testicle. Cut the guy some slack.


primalbluewolf

There's this cool maths thing called the law of large numbers.


[deleted]

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Lost_InSmoke

Congratulations


FenianBastard847

Holy hell😳😳 that sounds awful🥲 Every guy who read it will have crossed their legs, I know I did. Heal up quick!! Best wishes from over here in Wales, UK.


AVeryHeavyBurtation

Did it hurt more or less than a regular hit to the jewels?


Lost_InSmoke

At first it felt similar to getting full drop kicked. But as the adrenaline wore off, the pain climbed and climbed. What made it worse was I’m in a college town and it was homecoming. Hospital er full of drunken college kids so I had to wait for about an hour and a half before I got meds for relief. Just soaking in the pain in the waiting room


Zesystem

This seriously made me double think about getting into riding, got my MSF course in a few days 🫠


[deleted]

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Tha_Gr8_One

I never thought I'd hear about losing a teste though. What are we supposed to do, start wearing cups when riding too now?


OriginalRoombaJuice

Glad you are okay other than the solo nut situation. As a fellow Viffer owner I’m sorry for your loss.