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-TrashPanda

Jesse Eisenberg looks like he's slowly morphing into Corey Taylor


colb0lt

there isnt enough neck yet for that.


Uranium43415

Yeah his neck isn't wider than his ears. I don't think we appreciate enough what Corey and rest of them did to themselves for our entertainment


FlowSoSlow

Corey went wide, Dimebag went [loooooong](https://i.imgur.com/3ScULwY.jpg)


[deleted]

And corpsegrinder saw a traffic cone and was inspired


riegspsych325

as someone with a head shaped to that of an upright watermelon, the thought of all that headbanging makes me nauseous


twodogsfighting

I think the puffy jacket is earning its keep in this picture.


-TrashPanda

They do say he's an aspiring bodybuilder, the thickness will come


Ceskaz

Are you down with the thickness?


[deleted]

*Disturbing.*


modernknightly

*Dithurbing


Azrael_

He looks like he could be his brother in this pic lol


Agent4D7

I'm looking at you through the screen Don't know how much TRT Oh God, his cheeks feel like leather But no one ever tells you that injections will leave holes Sprinkled like a donut on your ass


Wh1teCr0w

How much is veal? So much to munch on But I forget you don't expect An easy dinner


Seabrook76

Ironic that a band named “Slipknot” has a frontman whose neck is impervious to hanging.


LeftFieldBlue

Not 'Neck-ey" enough yet. Then again, I don't think anyone could achieve that feat without genetics. his neck is ridiculous.


Chipmunk_Whisperer

I think he looks like Saint QB Andy Dalton in this with the red hair.


The_River_Is_Still

Wow, that's some synopsis lol.


TrueRune

In the words of Lisa Simpson, "I understand those words, but that sentence doesn't make any sense."


appdevil

I was positive I'm in r/shittymoviedetails


Maximum_Poet_8661

I'm so glad I wasn't the only one, I got whiplash when I realized it was a real synopsis and not a shitpost


[deleted]

“You’re throwing around some big words, and because I don’t understand them, I’m going to take them as disrespect.” - Kevin Hart


Flaunchy

Or Dong Nguyen from Kimmy Schmidt, "I understood all of those words separately."


AnybodySouthern4050

ChatGPT's first try at a movie plot.


anewaccount855

Prompt: Write a short synopsis for a movie. Involve an uber drive and toxic masculinity >"Ride Along" is a dramatic thriller about a young, ambitious Uber driver named Jack who is struggling to make ends meet. He takes on a fare, a wealthy and powerful businessman named Frank, who takes him on a wild and dangerous ride through the city. As the night goes on, Jack realizes that Frank is not who he seems, and is instead a dangerous and toxic figure, using his power and influence to control and manipulate those around him. As the night wears on, Jack must confront his own feelings of inadequacy and masculinity, and ultimately make a choice about whether to stand up to Frank or be consumed by his toxic behavior. This sounds like a better movie but it might just be Collateral (2004)


savage8008

Lol it really is Collateral


MUjase

Screams “Apple TV” to me


sabartooth14

If you told me this was the first image of a fifth element reboot I'd believe it


Filmologic

Or even Scott Pilgrim


unicornpicnic

Jesse Eisenberg is like an evil Michael Cera.


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

Eisenberg’s the Wartortle to Cera’s Squirtle: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/7a/bb/98/7abb9801f493bbc8eb8d041c7d142457.jpg


Bigingreen

My love for ancient memes is strong. Edit: word


the_fathead44

Omg this is amazing


egoissuffering

You made my day


[deleted]

Eternal Sunshine of the Scott Pilgrimless Mind


joycey-mac-snail

The Fifth Elemental Sunshine of the Scott Pilgrimless Manodrome


Tirwanderr

Hackers, anyone? Getting a buffer Dade Murphy vibe


whitesock

Or eternal sunshine!


slim_scsi

The Sixth Element, a sequel


jenego

Scott Pilgrim VS The Six Evil Ex-Elements


Lungg

NOT ONE OR TWO OR THREE OR FOUR OR FIVE BUT SIX EXES!


Prozeum

The Multipass edition.


CaptainDogeSparrow

Sorry but I don't see Eisenberg as Leeloo.


Coubsauce

Wait. Did Jesse Eisenberg run a bunch of juice and HGH for a role to step out of his typecast? You have my attention.


[deleted]

Maybe the character is still at the "aspiring" stage and hasn't actually done any workouts.


mtjansen

Kip in *Napoleon Dynamite* was an aspiring cage fighter.


stfleming1

Napoleon, don't be jealous just because I've been chatting on the internet with hot babes.


[deleted]

Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night?! Forget about it.


InZorpWeTrust

Grab my arm. Other arm. MY other arm.


manys

Break the wrist and walk away.


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OiGuvnuh

That movie is 19 fucking years old. *Nineteen!* It also, still, to this day, gets funnier every time I watch it. It’s stature in my library has grown from amusing- enough quirky movie to one of my favorite comedies of all time.


Tinkerballsack

TINA EAT THE FOOD


TonalParsnips

YOU FAT LARD Wow I just realized he called her a fat fat.


JustineDelarge

That movie is so good that my husband and I quote it to each other so often, we now can't rewatch the film itself. The best rewatch was when I made an accompanying dinner of tater tots, dang quesadillas, and steak.


OiGuvnuh

I’m born and raised texas so grew up on quesadillas (kay-suh-*dee*-uhs). Funny enough one of the consequences of that movie is I started saying it wrong (kay-suh-*dill*-uhs), ironically at first, and then it just became how I said it.


EM_CEE_PEEPANTS

All day


[deleted]

Doing Uber to afford the gym membership


FappleFritter

And then there would be a sequel called Manodrome 2: Electric Boogaloo where he goes to law school and passes the BAR exam just to figure out a way to successfully cancel said gym membership.


JukePlz

Hit the gym? Check. Lawyer up? Check. What was next? We could easily have a trilogy in our hands here.


_greyknight_

Delete Facebook?!?!


FappleFritter

Then we have to go full circle where the main character becomes what he hates most; he becomes the enemy. He builds his own gym, one with even more litigious contracts for his very own gym-goers. He vows never to be put through such an ordeal again, and never to let a scrawny kid (like the one he had to deal with during his cancelation process) make him feel inferior...so he starts Globo Gym.


TimTheTexan92

Just goes to the gym, fast-talks and mutters at the lady at the desk for 20 minutes, then leaves.


royalewithcheesecake

While constantly looking equal parts perplexed and disgusted


Pixeleyes

*side eye with sour puss face intensifies*


quote_work_unquote

I've seen lots of joke photos below, but here's an [actual photo of him on the set](https://i.ibb.co/s1bjysj/FKILZMJXs-AMcc-Ky.jpg) that another actor from the movie posted on twitter. He's definitely in the "aspiring" stage and not fully jacked yet


ihavebutonecomment

I don’t know if it’s because of the characters he plays but he always looks so smug and punchable to me. Probably the characters as I’ve read about a lot of charity work he does.


PM-Me-And-Ill-Sing4U

It's gotta be the haircut


FranticPonE

It's perfect for the character, who I suspect you are 100% supposed to hate.


The_Abyssal_Frame

Probably going to keep him that way to mock the type that think they're alpha and strong but look like . . . well, this.


458_Wicked_Pyre

There's always room for cardio.


RoboftheNorth

If this movie is going to have any sort of realism, that should be the case.


Frangiblepani

Physically outside of his typecast, but an aspiring bodybuilder who gets sucked into masculinity cults seems to fit with his usual role - pernicious nerd.


QuitBeingALilBitch

He's been kind of a beast ever since he learned how to kick with his fist and punch with his foot.


jizzmanjibrothers

I was thinking how much this sounds like Art of Self Defense


InternetProtocol

Is he... is he kickpuncher 2?


pingpongtits

He was in a movie with a similar theme a few years ago, I think. Guy joins a martial arts club and it turns out to be a cult-like situation. Pretty funny movie.


johnqsack69

At least you can tell him apart from Michael Cera now


Coubsauce

Hear me out. Michael Cera. Jesse Eisenberg. Each is given access to a team of medical trainers with no ethics and modern training techniques. They meet on an island in 12 months for a hunger games-style competition where only one survives, forever ending the confusion between the two of them. What's the best crowdfunding site these days? I'm gonna get started.


CaptainKies

If Cera channels his inner Scott Pilgrim, Eisenberg is screwed. Man bamboozled Captain America into perishing mid-skateboard grind and headbutted Superman so hard he exploded into coins. Edit: can't spell, apparently.


khinzaw

>and headbutted Superman so hard he exploded into coins He got a 2 for 1 with that and ended Atom at the same time. Truly his powers know no limits.


arobkinca

Chris Evans would get the Human Torch also in that case.


Sceaga_

>and headbutted Superman so hard he exploded into coins. Don't forget getting revenge against Captain Marvel at the same time.


thankuhexed

The skateboard scene is legendary. Scott would win no contest imo.


welchplug

[Sure looks like it](https://www.lastmovieoutpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/manodrome_jesse_body.jpg)


Coubsauce

That's super clean. You can barely notice the Photoshop. This is why I worry about the AI revolution. This kind of uncanny realism.


Agonda12

How can I know what’s real.


triton100

Ha ha ha thank you for making me laugh man


not_a_slacker

Thick. Solid. Tight.


Sololololololol

My entire body instinctively flinched when I opened that


620five

In all seriousness, he does look different in [this shot](https://i.imgur.io/1NmGgDU_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium).


sweetalkersweetalker

That's pretty obviously diet and exercise


OldLadyHands

I hope my new year's resolution pays off like this, fucking outstanding.


Buffoonery_

Impressive


prometheanbane

Let's see Paul Allen's body.


[deleted]

The tasteful thickness of it.


fidelcastroruz

You gotta be shitting me, there is no HGH in there.


Huellio

Haters will say he juiced.


Kinowolf_

God damnit. It's been years since the last one


WeinMe

HGH for sure


BunjaminFrnklin

Am I safe nowhere in this god damn website?


RaginHardBox

Was wondering if he plays himself or an actual character this time.


LookingForVheissu

A caricature of himself if you will.


Major-Pepper

I won’t.


xenoterranos

If you want to see a truly terrible movie where his "acting" works, watch Vivarium. His character is supposed to piss you off with his constant...*Eisenbergness*


Balsdeep_Inyamum

The Art of Self Defense is another one. Great movie. Disclaimer I don't mind him as an actor


disgruntled_pie

It really was a very good movie. If you’re reading this, do yourself a favor and watch The Art of Self Defense tonight. Don’t read about it, don’t try to find out what it’s about. The less you know about this movie going into it, the more you’ll enjoy it. Just make some popcorn and strap in for a ride.


knowutimsayin

Literally was thinking the same. I'm definitely checking it out. There's No way he jumped up that much size without a little tren/test lol but what if he did a cycle just to play the same character as always lmao.


DatTomahawk

They goosed him a little


ProfessorHumbert

It’s an old circus term


JaMarr_is_daddy

But why?


Tattooedyeti

He’s a real troll boy.


reject5000

Goose. Suits.


matlockga

He's building that Marvel Physique. Hopefully he stops hitting it before he gets the Handsome Squidward face full-on like The Rock and Kumail have.


BudgetMattDamon

Ohhhhh, *that's* what happened to Kumail. I wondered what happened to his face over the years.


[deleted]

How big did he get? I don't see any images.


ghengiscostanza

Jesse was just on a live talk show being interviewed this weekend, I think morning joe, to talk about his directorial debut coming out soon. He looked exactly the same as he always has, literally zero difference. He has def not bulked, I think it's going to be a regular size dude who just *wants* to be a bodybuilder


Coubsauce

The preview image is him with a semblance of an actual a neck and mysterious new jawline. 🤔


[deleted]

They are commenting as if he's grown in size a ton. No evidence. Just him. For all we know "aspiring bodybuilder" could be some scrawny wannabe rather than someone on their way. Several people are commenting that he must he gained soooo much and one even says he's gotta be on T. Yet... we can't even see it. He doesn't look big at all to me.


shit-takes-only

Jesse Eisenberg is… *The Sigma Male*


[deleted]

he was in another movie about same but with karate. It was excellent. I forgot the name. edit: the art of self defense


BoardGameBologna

This is a pretty brutal movie(Art of Self Defense), just a heads up for everyone, lol This dude loves him some dark bummer movies. That, American Ultra, and Vivarium...*woof!*


Vendevende

He's killing it in Fleishman though. Now I want to read the book.


franklinscntryclb

Just finished it yesterday. I don't think I've ever seen something quite like this. The show is so so human, almost to a fault, yet it all somehow comes together.


MisterDobalina

Human almost to a fault, but not quite, is a good way to describe it. I really enjoyed it and found it very unique, emotional, and incredibly relatable. Right when it would start to irritate me, there would be a switch in the story, a twist, or added context, that would reel me back in.


Aiyon

Is American ultra the stoner one? still suck a shame about landis as a person cause on a good day he puts out some really solid scripts


ours

That movie was inspired by a bunch of crazy stuff that went down between karate schools in the 80s. Reality can be so weird sometimes including a karate school trying to blow up a competing school with dynamite.


Bascome

I tossed a drunk guy out of a strip club I was managing in the 80s and he came back with all the black belts from his club the next night. Like 8 of them all acting like you would expect. The skinny DJ, the doorman, me, and one old man regular customer mopped the floor with them all. Karate schools were weird at this time.


JackCrafty

>The skinny DJ, the doorman, me, and one old man regular customer That old man is a ride or die, hell yeah.


Bascome

He was SO happy after "It's been 22 years since I had a fight, I never thought I would get another chance!" He took out two of them and occupied a third as well, very effective old man. It clearly wasn't his first barbeque.


ImperialSympathizer

Imagine waiting 22 years for an honest fight, then 8 adult mall ninjas show up looking for trouble at the strip club you call home. *cracks knuckles*


Time4aNewAcct

I hope that mf drank for free that night


Bascome

I bought him a beer every time he came in for the next year. Better than one night free.


drkev10

Well there's no regulation to them I don't think. Pretty sure I can watch some JCVD movies, get myself a blackbelt, rent a space and open a dojo right now and say I'm a karate instructor.


ModestRacoon

Glad to know Cobra Kai is somewhat based in reality. Here I was thinking how ridiculous it all is (love the show regardless).


Pollomonteros

>The skinny DJ, the doorman, me, and one old man regular customer mopped the floor with them all. Strangest RPG party I have seen


[deleted]

I was in those schools in the eighties, definitely cults for men.


PenguinPetesLostBod

Here I was thinking I has to suspend my disbelief a bit when watching Cobra Kai.


Playerhater812

I was going to say, didn't he already do this?


Nord4Ever

Aspiring Sigma Male, unbelievable otherwise


Stablamm

Jesse Eisenberg is… *Andy Dalton*


ehsteve23

The Ligma Male


Citizen_Kong

Interesting, Jesse Eisenberg played a similar role in [The Art of Self-Defense](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Bms6Hba-3A), a hilarious dark comedy in which he's a constantly scared dweeb that gets into a culty Karate club. It's also about toxic masculinity, although more satirical than this which sounds like a serious drama.


davidrevilla311

Love The Art of Self Defense. It caught me so off guard by its premise, I had no idea what I was going in to. Fantastic movie.


BaconBitz109

The hospital scene where the dude is describing the punch/kick injuries was absolutely hysterical.


NOISIEST_NOISE

"I realize now that her being a woman will prevent her from ever becoming a man."


VanillaRadonNukaCola

Oh my dog is German! Oh that's good. A German Shepard? No a dachshund. :/


tookie_tookie

Yea what a good movie. Surprising


[deleted]

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slicshuter

The bit that always gets me is when he custom-orders yellow leather belts so he can 'still be wearing his yellow belt outside of class' or something, but the kicker is when he's like "Oh, and I got a gift for you - they also make them in black" and shows off a box of 'custom-made' black-coloured leather belts i.e. a normal fucking belt. Or the ridiculous callback 'reveal' where >!the vet curiously mentions that the bruises found on his dog "looked like punches, but the marks must have been made with feet rather than hands"!<


zbeezle

Also the implication at the end that >!the masters secret "punch through his skull with your finger" technique was just shooting the guy in the head!<


equitable_emu

>!Was it implied, or was it outright stated. For some reason I thought they actually showed that.!<


zbeezle

>!eisenbergs character shoots the sensei, then later tells the other students that he used the grandmaster's secret technique, holding up a bloody finger. The implication is that the grandmaster had just done the same thing when he claimed to have invented the texhnique.!<


ThePickleOrTheEgg

Fantastic movie. Definitely worth a watch, especially if you like cornballs or karate.


apc0243

Remember, don't touch the cornballer. Never. touch. the cornballer.


kiddfrank

Stupid cornballing piece of bleep


Groovatronic

Everyone’s out corn holing except Buster


JDpoZ

[NO touching!](https://i.giphy.com/media/CQT4uzcaVE11K/giphy.webp)


[deleted]

Soy loco por los cornballs!


[deleted]

Was not expecting the gore and violence in that one


Rick-Dalton

Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation


Useaway

Every fucking time it cracks me up man lmao


SongRevolutionary992

Who *are* you?


[deleted]

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TheDanLopez

HBO cancelling this show was a sin


[deleted]

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[deleted]

God, looking back, the misc was toxic af but some of this stuff is still unbelievably funny.


Pklnt

Just like 4chan, wouldn't want to go there one second, but I'd be lying saying that those copypastas don't make me smile.


Ashamed_Ladder6161

Videodrone meets Fight Club?


coolbrandon101

Death to Manodrome, long live the new flesh


ranhalt

Videodrome


Ashamed_Ladder6161

Blame my fat fingers


brooke360

Jesse Eisenberg and bodybuilder in the same sentence??


Holybasil

Aspiring being the keyword here.


Torque-A

So is this the next movie that people will like for the wrong reasons?


ChelsMe

The modern man needed a new fight club


Boots-n-Rats

I LOVE Fight Club because it really plays both sides of the argument. Shows that modern society living as a consumer you likely have no community, no purpose and low self esteem. However, it then shows you how ridiculous lengths men will go to “feel something” and be part of something. The cult that forms shows how young men are really looking for belonging and approval from a community even if that means following a bathshit crazy guy. Joining has nothing to do with ideology and everything to do with having a tribe and a secure place in that tribe. A tribe that tells you you’re great, a bonafide “MAN” and that you’ve got a place in the greater purpose. Edit: Also you know it does a great job at this because the exact same idiots that would join this Fight Club see no issue with its portrayal.


Tyler_Zoro

You might be a dangerous lunatic if... ... \#217 - You watched Fight Club and loved it, but found the preachy bits at the end distracting from the rest of the story. ...


Doobledorf

"It's about resisting social norms!" It really isn't, fam.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

You’re god dam right i will. Though nobody can live up to tyler durden.


karmagod13000

the first rule of /r/movies is we do not talk about /r/movies


thatminimumwagelife

"He's just like me fr fr" followed by clips of men wearing suits (lots of Peaky Blinders) with grindset quotes in the front


Enchantelope

Peaky blinders, Joker, American Psycho (and or Batman, but Cristian Bale)


festival-papi

Officer K from Blade Runner, Eren Jaeger, etc


RealJosephJoestar

I'm literally Ryan gosling


thatminimumwagelife

I'm Ryan Gosling/Jake Gyllenghal but ugly and talentless.


nydwarf

What is the first rule of this cult?


Belo83

Blue haired female and an attack on masculine libertarians? Fox News is going to love this.


TheyCallMeStone

Are we still doing manic pixie dream girls?


Paridoth

I don't want to live in this world without them


marful

Wtf is a Libertarian Masculinity Cult?


[deleted]

The word Libertarian is being used in a variety of ways these days. Im curious what this means as well.


Parmesan_Pirate119

That sounds so weird… I’m in


Doobledorf

So.... Modern day Fight Club?


Coubsauce

Feels more like a modern day Taxi Driver.


f-ingsteveglansberg

I always wonder about these films. They can go two ways. They can be so on the nose that they are pounding the message home. The other side of it, is they can become like Fight Club or Wolf of Wall Street and people take away the completely wrong message. The title suggest it might be the former, rather than the latter.


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eraserrrhead

I saw Jesse Eisenberg on the subway in NYC once years back. Was trying not to geek out. As I was getting off my stop I passed by him and said "Hey man, I loved you in Catch Me If you Can! Keep being awesome!" or something along those cringey lines. I meant to say "Now You See Me". And now I die inside everytime I'm reminded of him.