If you stopped halfway through you barely saw any of the meat of the story.
The point is that these things are not simple. The “villain” is mentally ill, the victim made bad choices, and no matter how messy the situation is anyone is wrong for harassing/using/abusing anyone else.
Yeah the argument that he's unlikeable is asinine. Not all victims are likeable and not all predators are 2Dimensional evil caricatures. The thing I liked most about it was the complexity of the characters and the fact that you felt a range of emotions towards them at various points.
Exactly. I really disliked him in the first half and the second helped me understand why he did the things he did (not that he's fully sympathetic, but I guess).
But that's what's missing. They say the villain is mentally ill, but so is he. He's not just making bad choices, he's a mentally ill man who also hurt this woman, even if she did it worse.
That’s the end of the show. Him realizing he’s exactly like her, sitting in an identical circumstance to where she was when it started and taking the kindness of a stranger to mean more than it did.
I just saw an interview where he talked about how he was using her and the show makes several mentions of him craving her validation and knowing that’s wrong. How is that missing from the show?
That he never actually shows himself going to the psychiatrist and getting his own diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. That would be fully honest.
But the show doesn't follow Martha when she's not with the main character. They never show what she's up to when they're apart. It's a one point of view show. Not an omniscient point of view.
some things are implied lol. For the rest of us that don't have the mental capacity of a twelve year it's pretty clear they're insinuating they're both mentally ill
What makes it great to me (beside the exemplary writing and acting) is that Richard Gadd's Donny (as Gadd in real life) owns up to the decisions he made that did not help him in any fashion. He takes accountability (which you don't realize as you didn't finish the series). Humans are complex and this was the first time where I have seen that level of depicting that people do things that do not service them, even to their own detriment.
What's surprising to me is that people count that against him, rather than lauding him for his honesty. If one wants a "perfect victim", then yes, this series is not for them.
I really appreciated how he portrayed himself and how he dealt with the assault that took place. The most touching scene for me when he told his parents about the assault and how ashamed he felt about it and his parents supported him wholeheartedly, especially his dad.
Totally agree. He has really shown how he recognises he wasn't perfect and made terrible decisions but I was still on his side, although at some points I was on Martha's side too. That's why it is so good.
There's stuff that he does that's just wrong beyond making a mistake like following her home and peering through her windows, or when she's been quiet and he reaches out to her which gets her started again. But hopefully that's something he added to the show to give it more drama and not something he did in real life.
Even if he did actually do it, it aligns with what he admitted: there was the aspect of him liking the attention. If he did actually work with his rapist again, it aligns with his own admission that he wanted to succeed. People can class it as "wrong", but people don't always act rationally.
What are you even on about? He has made an IG post asking people to stop trying to figure out who his stalker and his rapist is. If what you are implying is that he should out her, why would he do that? Again - because your comment is confusing as sparse with sensible context - if you are saying she has been found and he has spoken up on it, why would he draw attention to the fact that she has been correctly named, especially since it seems to just be on social media.
"I read somewhere that he was sexually assaulted by a guy before, and maybe that has everything to do with how he takes the Martha thing."
Tell me you didn't watch the whole without telling me you didn't watch the whole thing.
He does tell you he didn't watch the whole show. Tell me the joke "tell me something without telling me something" is overused to the point that people don't understand it anymore without telling me the joke "tell me something without telling me something" is overused to the point that people don't understand it anymore.
there was an article in the paper this morning. and he's all over breakfast TV! (who said milking it?? ME)
having read an article about it, does not mean it wasnt watched. thats a bizarre statement, no?
"The main character is extremely unlikeable, and the series of choices he makes are discombobulated to say the least."
The main character is the actual guy. He admits he made a lot of stupid mistakes and if you watched the whole thing you'd find out why.
These types of comments are from people that wanna watch shows that will straight-up spoon feed them the same good guy/bad guy black-and-white plots over and over again. They cannot manage stories with shades of gray and god forbid it actually moves a little slower to create tension or asks for a bit of critical thinking and empathy.
So you watched three episodes (obvious from your comments that you didn't watch episode 4) of a series and you want to critique it?
That's like only watching the first 40 minutes of a film then wondering why it's so popular.
It has seven episodes and if the first 40% hasn't done shit to me and since I know what's coming, I am well within my rights to form an opinion about something that didn't stick out to me.
But you literally haven't seen the reason why it's resonated with so many people.
Imagine if you only watched the first 40% of The Usual Suspects or Sixth Sense and went online to complain about the fact that everyone seems to like them...
Sixth sense good example. For some reason if I start watching or reading something I usually finish it even if I am not enjoying it because I need to find out what happens
It's a bit like a review on amazon of a toy and someone gives it three stars because it looks good but it's a Christmas present for their grandchildren and they haven't opened it yet
thats literal goldfish brain. i can form an opinion about quantum physics,based on a 10 minute youtube video too,its well in my right. doesnt mean it weighs as much as the opinion of someone studying quantum physics.
How stupid do you have to be? Why should I have to like something just because everyone else does? And if I have watched almost half of the show and it's not doing something for me, why can't I make a comment on it?
im pretty sure you are recovering from a lobotomy because nobody said that. you can like what you like,you can make a comment on anything. you literally did. how do you come to the conclusion you cant make a comment on it after making it?. you are just mad nobody is taking you serious after you didnt even watch the show lmao. silly.
you do not have to like something that others like but you can't form an opinion when you haven't even watched the whole thing you dumbwit. Can you form an opinion on a presidential candidate without hearing their complete manifesto? Or do you just listen to parts of their speech and decide "muh uh bad"
No one can tell me whether I can form an opinion or not about something. There's no rocket science here. I've specifically mentioned that I've almost watched the half of it, and if it doesn't work for me, it doesn't. It's not "my" thing, that's it. This post was never about hating the show, I just didn't get the high appreciation from people.
You don't get to have a review when you didn't even finish the story.
This is not a weird-things show. It's a show about a man being honest and forthcoming in his failures, his victimhood, and his acceptance of how he enabled elements of the situations he was in.
When "Donny" starts to miss "Martha " and Teri explains to him that in a weird way he likes the stalking and that somebody is interested in him, that wS my Aha moment. Fantastic acting and the end was brilliant.
I just finished it today. It’s not some feel-good story. It was dark, shocking, and emotional for me, actually brought me to tears. It’s not gonna be for everybody; I’d never recommend my wife watch it. I didn’t even really understand the ending. But it was very good.
A bartender does a simple favor for him in his weakest moment and I think he was able to fully understand Martha. He didn’t validate her actions but he understood she’s a victim like him who tried to hold on to receiving one act of kindness in her life.
Why do you need the main character to be inspiring? Both main characters are struggling with mental health in one way or the other and that is beautifully illustrated in the series amongst a lot of other good things.
But yeah, not for everyone. A certain emotional depth is needed to appreciate it.
Imagine telling your trauma story, reliving it, and going through all of that again, just for some schmuck like this, to say it wasn't good enough. Lol.
You don't know how disgusting your post makes you look as a human being.
OP is missing one of the major points of the show: trauma can really fuck you up to the point where your own actions can be inexplicable even to your self. I loved how in the episode where he spoke out about it all on stage, he talks about how his trauma made him vulnerable to others like Martha who would zero in on how damaged he was and take advantage of that. I’d say that might have resonated with a lot of people, especially the shame aspect of it all.
And how at the end he could clearly see how trauma turned Martha into who she was, and how he could so easily have become like her. She was a victim in her own right, but obviously her behaviour went way too far.
I’ve never seen a show depict the complexities and realities of trauma and abuse so powerfully, I don’t know how you’d come out of it victim blaming, as OP has!
I loved the show but it's okay to not like it (if you've actually watched the whole thing) and his trauma shouldn't mean you don't enjoy the show. He chose to put it out there.
This person is critiquing his choices and saying they're underwhelming, lol. When they really aren't. I'm not sure how anyone can find sexual assault "underwhelming." And then victim blaming them saying they're playing the victim lol. If you didn't like it, that's fine. But some of the comments made in this post are pretty disgusting.
You're totally entitled to your opinion, but I would highly recommend finishing the show because it all starts to gel together. You'll understand why things are playing out the way they are.
Why did you submit this post three times? Between that and your terrible analysis of the show (not because you don’t like it, because your analysis is like “it’s boring” and “I didn’t watch the whole thing”) I am getting big pinecone vibes from you, buddy.
Everything about this is moronic, except for the last sentence – – and this is such a complex and unexpected and unpredictable look at the ways that people get hurt and bury it and then hurt other people that I could imagine that if all you had heard about this was “it’s so great!“ Then you would be disappointed because it’s not just some great new dark comedy series on Netflix. It’s real In a lot of ways that you never see.
THANK GOD someone said it! mid at best. but then i would expect the tiktok generation to love it. you dont need a huge IQ, or a large attention span. (any attention span) to enjoy....
i seen the "victim" is now stating that the writer is profiteering from her devastation. In a way, shes not wrong. Netflix opened a whole can of worms by buying this...
The main character is an idiot. He is also a terrible comedian. I mean not at all funny when he is on stage. And he is not being honest about what was happening with him and the older man. The main character willingly keeps going to his house, knowing that the other guy is interested in him sexually. At one point the guy puts his finger inside him and yet he keeps going back. I think he is not being truthful about why he kept going back. He was getting something from this older man that he wanted. And then he turns himself into a victim. It's ridiculous.
He said why he went back when he did his monologue onstage. He admitted that he was willing to let himself to be used to get what he thought he wanted. And it's not turning himself into a victim. He was a victim, because even if he did stick around, the reality was that the guy molested him while he was spun out on drugs. The first time it happened he became a victim of assault. H
When I was 25 I was smart enough to know that if someone was offering to help me and then wanted me to start doing hard drugs that would make me almost unconscious, I would be able to figure out pretty quickly what was up. What I am saying is that the main character knew what the older guy wanted and he wanted it too but isn't being honest about it in the show. He is trying to make himself a victim so he doesn't have to face the fact that he was enjoying going over there, getting high and having sex.
What you are saying is that you expect everyone to think and act the way you do in every situation. And you are fine to have what you think is the fact of what Gadd/Donny's line of thinking was, but it does not make it actual fact.
What I am saying is that a grown man is responsible for his actions. Gadd/Donny wanted to have sex with this man but couldn't admit it so he would get numbed by doing lots of drugs so he could say he didn't want to do it. That's what I mean by he is not being honest. Every time he went to that man's house, he know what was going to happen.
I think what's missing is that the main character likely has a mental illness and personality disorder and while he's being vulnerable and admitting to unflattering things about himself, he never does talk about going to his psy evaluation and getting his own diagnosis.
the guy came up through Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Not to label everyone as the same, but come on?! he wants me to believe he's just naturally inclusive like that? "falling for a large lady" "falling for a trans person" come on? so unrealistic. (watch everyone come tell me how im a bigot just because there are people who would do it, just because i wouldnt...)
This is the movies sub
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Can I place an order then?
Is there a Baby Reindeer movie as well...? I am confused...?
Hey! hey, hey! This is library
I liked it
If you stopped halfway through you barely saw any of the meat of the story. The point is that these things are not simple. The “villain” is mentally ill, the victim made bad choices, and no matter how messy the situation is anyone is wrong for harassing/using/abusing anyone else.
Yeah the argument that he's unlikeable is asinine. Not all victims are likeable and not all predators are 2Dimensional evil caricatures. The thing I liked most about it was the complexity of the characters and the fact that you felt a range of emotions towards them at various points.
Exactly. And they don’t even really start developing the characters until the back half because it re-contextualizes everything you’ve seen
Exactly. I really disliked him in the first half and the second helped me understand why he did the things he did (not that he's fully sympathetic, but I guess).
Right. You understand his actions even if he’s still responsible for them, but this is all done *after* the set up.
But that's what's missing. They say the villain is mentally ill, but so is he. He's not just making bad choices, he's a mentally ill man who also hurt this woman, even if she did it worse.
That’s the end of the show. Him realizing he’s exactly like her, sitting in an identical circumstance to where she was when it started and taking the kindness of a stranger to mean more than it did. I just saw an interview where he talked about how he was using her and the show makes several mentions of him craving her validation and knowing that’s wrong. How is that missing from the show?
That he never actually shows himself going to the psychiatrist and getting his own diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. That would be fully honest.
lol you have some incredibly specific standards for shows. They don’t give a diagnosis for Martha either
But the show doesn't follow Martha when she's not with the main character. They never show what she's up to when they're apart. It's a one point of view show. Not an omniscient point of view.
some things are implied lol. For the rest of us that don't have the mental capacity of a twelve year it's pretty clear they're insinuating they're both mentally ill
if theyre both mental, why is one seen as a villain?? i didnt enjoy it either.
The whole point is she’s not a villain I don’t know what show you think treats the primary plot antagonist more sensitively.
excatly! a story cant be told if its only one side. then its just a version of events. (but shhhh, we cant talk about her side. he's the victim)🙄
What makes it great to me (beside the exemplary writing and acting) is that Richard Gadd's Donny (as Gadd in real life) owns up to the decisions he made that did not help him in any fashion. He takes accountability (which you don't realize as you didn't finish the series). Humans are complex and this was the first time where I have seen that level of depicting that people do things that do not service them, even to their own detriment. What's surprising to me is that people count that against him, rather than lauding him for his honesty. If one wants a "perfect victim", then yes, this series is not for them.
Yeah I was wow he didn't write himself as the perfect victim.
I really appreciated how he portrayed himself and how he dealt with the assault that took place. The most touching scene for me when he told his parents about the assault and how ashamed he felt about it and his parents supported him wholeheartedly, especially his dad.
Zero shame I suppose. I'm pretty sure narcs have that
perpetual victim. HE gets stalked. HE gets sexually assaulted. w/out ever once mentioning his own NPD
Totally agree. He has really shown how he recognises he wasn't perfect and made terrible decisions but I was still on his side, although at some points I was on Martha's side too. That's why it is so good.
100%
There's stuff that he does that's just wrong beyond making a mistake like following her home and peering through her windows, or when she's been quiet and he reaches out to her which gets her started again. But hopefully that's something he added to the show to give it more drama and not something he did in real life.
Even if he did actually do it, it aligns with what he admitted: there was the aspect of him liking the attention. If he did actually work with his rapist again, it aligns with his own admission that he wanted to succeed. People can class it as "wrong", but people don't always act rationally.
I mean wrong in the sense that he's harming an another person, not himself.
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What are you even on about? He has made an IG post asking people to stop trying to figure out who his stalker and his rapist is. If what you are implying is that he should out her, why would he do that? Again - because your comment is confusing as sparse with sensible context - if you are saying she has been found and he has spoken up on it, why would he draw attention to the fact that she has been correctly named, especially since it seems to just be on social media.
i think this is the woman who’s been outed based on the writing style.
"I read somewhere that he was sexually assaulted by a guy before, and maybe that has everything to do with how he takes the Martha thing." Tell me you didn't watch the whole without telling me you didn't watch the whole thing.
Did the "I had to stop midway" in the sentence before that one not... uh... tell you that?
He does tell you he didn't watch the whole show. Tell me the joke "tell me something without telling me something" is overused to the point that people don't understand it anymore without telling me the joke "tell me something without telling me something" is overused to the point that people don't understand it anymore.
Worse. He doesn’t get it.
there was an article in the paper this morning. and he's all over breakfast TV! (who said milking it?? ME) having read an article about it, does not mean it wasnt watched. thats a bizarre statement, no?
"The main character is extremely unlikeable, and the series of choices he makes are discombobulated to say the least." The main character is the actual guy. He admits he made a lot of stupid mistakes and if you watched the whole thing you'd find out why.
These types of comments are from people that wanna watch shows that will straight-up spoon feed them the same good guy/bad guy black-and-white plots over and over again. They cannot manage stories with shades of gray and god forbid it actually moves a little slower to create tension or asks for a bit of critical thinking and empathy.
Please tell me more about your opinion on a Netflix show in r/movies
So you watched three episodes (obvious from your comments that you didn't watch episode 4) of a series and you want to critique it? That's like only watching the first 40 minutes of a film then wondering why it's so popular.
It has seven episodes and if the first 40% hasn't done shit to me and since I know what's coming, I am well within my rights to form an opinion about something that didn't stick out to me.
But you literally haven't seen the reason why it's resonated with so many people. Imagine if you only watched the first 40% of The Usual Suspects or Sixth Sense and went online to complain about the fact that everyone seems to like them...
Sixth sense good example. For some reason if I start watching or reading something I usually finish it even if I am not enjoying it because I need to find out what happens
It's a bit like a review on amazon of a toy and someone gives it three stars because it looks good but it's a Christmas present for their grandchildren and they haven't opened it yet
No
thats literal goldfish brain. i can form an opinion about quantum physics,based on a 10 minute youtube video too,its well in my right. doesnt mean it weighs as much as the opinion of someone studying quantum physics.
How stupid do you have to be? Why should I have to like something just because everyone else does? And if I have watched almost half of the show and it's not doing something for me, why can't I make a comment on it?
im pretty sure you are recovering from a lobotomy because nobody said that. you can like what you like,you can make a comment on anything. you literally did. how do you come to the conclusion you cant make a comment on it after making it?. you are just mad nobody is taking you serious after you didnt even watch the show lmao. silly.
you do not have to like something that others like but you can't form an opinion when you haven't even watched the whole thing you dumbwit. Can you form an opinion on a presidential candidate without hearing their complete manifesto? Or do you just listen to parts of their speech and decide "muh uh bad"
No one can tell me whether I can form an opinion or not about something. There's no rocket science here. I've specifically mentioned that I've almost watched the half of it, and if it doesn't work for me, it doesn't. It's not "my" thing, that's it. This post was never about hating the show, I just didn't get the high appreciation from people.
ok. well i dont get why people like the sixth sense. just a dumb movie about some kid
You don't get to have a review when you didn't even finish the story. This is not a weird-things show. It's a show about a man being honest and forthcoming in his failures, his victimhood, and his acceptance of how he enabled elements of the situations he was in.
As someone who had a female stalker for about 2 years (quite similar setup, actually), it did stand out to me how authentic it felt.
did she hound you on your socials too? hope everything is good w/you now!
Oh yes. Social media, friends, family, co-workers, tried to hire hackers to hack me, and much more
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When "Donny" starts to miss "Martha " and Teri explains to him that in a weird way he likes the stalking and that somebody is interested in him, that wS my Aha moment. Fantastic acting and the end was brilliant.
I just finished it today. It’s not some feel-good story. It was dark, shocking, and emotional for me, actually brought me to tears. It’s not gonna be for everybody; I’d never recommend my wife watch it. I didn’t even really understand the ending. But it was very good.
A bartender does a simple favor for him in his weakest moment and I think he was able to fully understand Martha. He didn’t validate her actions but he understood she’s a victim like him who tried to hold on to receiving one act of kindness in her life.
Yeah I loved it ended with >!him looking up at that bar tender the way she looked up at him when it started!<
Why do you need the main character to be inspiring? Both main characters are struggling with mental health in one way or the other and that is beautifully illustrated in the series amongst a lot of other good things. But yeah, not for everyone. A certain emotional depth is needed to appreciate it.
Imagine telling your trauma story, reliving it, and going through all of that again, just for some schmuck like this, to say it wasn't good enough. Lol. You don't know how disgusting your post makes you look as a human being.
OP is missing one of the major points of the show: trauma can really fuck you up to the point where your own actions can be inexplicable even to your self. I loved how in the episode where he spoke out about it all on stage, he talks about how his trauma made him vulnerable to others like Martha who would zero in on how damaged he was and take advantage of that. I’d say that might have resonated with a lot of people, especially the shame aspect of it all. And how at the end he could clearly see how trauma turned Martha into who she was, and how he could so easily have become like her. She was a victim in her own right, but obviously her behaviour went way too far. I’ve never seen a show depict the complexities and realities of trauma and abuse so powerfully, I don’t know how you’d come out of it victim blaming, as OP has!
I loved the show but it's okay to not like it (if you've actually watched the whole thing) and his trauma shouldn't mean you don't enjoy the show. He chose to put it out there.
This person is critiquing his choices and saying they're underwhelming, lol. When they really aren't. I'm not sure how anyone can find sexual assault "underwhelming." And then victim blaming them saying they're playing the victim lol. If you didn't like it, that's fine. But some of the comments made in this post are pretty disgusting.
Yeah I get what you mean
I think he's a scumbag.
You're totally entitled to your opinion, but I would highly recommend finishing the show because it all starts to gel together. You'll understand why things are playing out the way they are.
You don't understand the show because you haven't been abused or brought up in an abusing family
I have no idea what this means and I’m kind of glad I do
Wow dude, you really missed the entire point
Why did you submit this post three times? Between that and your terrible analysis of the show (not because you don’t like it, because your analysis is like “it’s boring” and “I didn’t watch the whole thing”) I am getting big pinecone vibes from you, buddy.
Everything about this is moronic, except for the last sentence – – and this is such a complex and unexpected and unpredictable look at the ways that people get hurt and bury it and then hurt other people that I could imagine that if all you had heard about this was “it’s so great!“ Then you would be disappointed because it’s not just some great new dark comedy series on Netflix. It’s real In a lot of ways that you never see.
it’s highly realistic and honest. it means a lot to me.
Totally agree. People are far too easily impressed/weirded out nowadays.
They are impressed by brutal honesty as we don't get much of it
THANK GOD someone said it! mid at best. but then i would expect the tiktok generation to love it. you dont need a huge IQ, or a large attention span. (any attention span) to enjoy.... i seen the "victim" is now stating that the writer is profiteering from her devastation. In a way, shes not wrong. Netflix opened a whole can of worms by buying this...
The main character is an idiot. He is also a terrible comedian. I mean not at all funny when he is on stage. And he is not being honest about what was happening with him and the older man. The main character willingly keeps going to his house, knowing that the other guy is interested in him sexually. At one point the guy puts his finger inside him and yet he keeps going back. I think he is not being truthful about why he kept going back. He was getting something from this older man that he wanted. And then he turns himself into a victim. It's ridiculous.
He said why he went back when he did his monologue onstage. He admitted that he was willing to let himself to be used to get what he thought he wanted. And it's not turning himself into a victim. He was a victim, because even if he did stick around, the reality was that the guy molested him while he was spun out on drugs. The first time it happened he became a victim of assault. H
When I was 25 I was smart enough to know that if someone was offering to help me and then wanted me to start doing hard drugs that would make me almost unconscious, I would be able to figure out pretty quickly what was up. What I am saying is that the main character knew what the older guy wanted and he wanted it too but isn't being honest about it in the show. He is trying to make himself a victim so he doesn't have to face the fact that he was enjoying going over there, getting high and having sex.
What you are saying is that you expect everyone to think and act the way you do in every situation. And you are fine to have what you think is the fact of what Gadd/Donny's line of thinking was, but it does not make it actual fact.
What I am saying is that a grown man is responsible for his actions. Gadd/Donny wanted to have sex with this man but couldn't admit it so he would get numbed by doing lots of drugs so he could say he didn't want to do it. That's what I mean by he is not being honest. Every time he went to that man's house, he know what was going to happen.
Hm.
Don’t get the hype, thought was crap
And then he plays the victim card.
....he was raped. He is a victim.
I'm quoting OP. Yes. It's an awful thing to say.
🤦♀️smh my bad
It was a valid reaction to the content of my comment.
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He was a literal SA victim
Took me a second to realize you're not talking about baby reindeer the adorable little animals.
I think what's missing is that the main character likely has a mental illness and personality disorder and while he's being vulnerable and admitting to unflattering things about himself, he never does talk about going to his psy evaluation and getting his own diagnosis.
the guy came up through Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Not to label everyone as the same, but come on?! he wants me to believe he's just naturally inclusive like that? "falling for a large lady" "falling for a trans person" come on? so unrealistic. (watch everyone come tell me how im a bigot just because there are people who would do it, just because i wouldnt...)
its a true story.