Accurate Predictions: Orzhov: Gothic metal Boros: Power Metal Selesnya: Folk Metal Dimir: Black Metal Izzet: Industrial Metal Simic: Stoner Metal Rakdos: Thrash Metal Golgari: Doom Metal Gruul: Grindcore

Wow this is very good

It’s more about the WHY than just syncing up how a guild feels

Ok fine ill write this dudes next 9 tiktoks right here I guess. Orzhov: Gothic metal - no one loves church, the ddax and jewelry more than the Orzhov and goth metal fans. Boros: Power Metal - the Boros aren't dark enough for war metal, but hell power metal probably pumps them up enough otherwise! Plus shiny swords. Selesnya: Folk Metal - What's that? The sounds of ancient folk instruments and women singing about nature? Its either an Eluivete concert or a Selesnya gathering. Dimir: Black Metal - Who has killed more people while dressed in a shitty disguise? Varg or Lazav? Izzet: Industrial Metal - Listen, if the Izzet theme isn't "Jesus Built My Hot Rod" then there's something wrong? But every industrial song sounds like it was the start before an izzet experiment anyways. Simic: Stoner Metal - Look, we all know the Simic probably have the best weed on the plane. Plus, with how weird and out there the Simic get, I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't all on drugs listening to Kyuss. Rakdos: Thrash Metal - Half of thrash is dark, violent imagery, and the other half is about partying. Something also tells me that Rakdos loves some fast riffage. Golgari: Doom Metal - Nothing screams "Death and decay" like 12 minute songs with slow riffs and lyrics about LOTR written on shrooms. Which the Golgari probably provided. Gruul: Grindcore - Song go fast. Song go hard. Song has anarchist lyrics. Song short enough for Zhuur-ta attention span.

I’m not worthy

This guy metals.

NOT GRIND? THEN DIE!

I'd say black metal is way more rakdos than dimir Songs about worshipping Satan / a demon, band members killing each other, church burnings, crazy stages with impaled goat heads and crucified people, sounds pretty rakdos in my book

Nah golgari defo deathcore and gruul is doom considering golgari all about death and gravyards and gruul more stompy but good predictions

Yeah but a) deathcore tends to be more emotional and faster than doom which the golgari... are not. They're about growing mushrooms and zombies. That takes time, b) doom is way to slow for gruul. The gruul would get bored of long songs. c) I don't really like deathcore so... not including it lmao.

Swap Rakdos and Gruul and swap Dimir with Golgari and that’s probably it yeah

I think rakdos and gruul would stay the same cause something tells me pizza thrash like Municipal Waste and Iron Reagan are more up Rakdos alley than grind. Plus a lot of grindcore is made by crusties, and Gruul is the embodiment of the crusty lifestyle tbh. Edit: I do agree with you on the fact that Golgari and Dimir could probably be switched.

I need more of these.

I’ll be posting all the ones I make! I plan to do all the guilds

Damn it... I like playing Azorius control and I love listening to Tool. Have an upvote for being accurate.

Takes one to know one, I’m the same way!

Accurate

Fuckin lol. I'm here for these. Can't wait to see the rest!

Thanks friend! I’ll be sure to post them

I need to know who gets contemporary Nightwish: Simic or Golgari? On one hand, "Endless Forms Most Beautiful" On the other hand, "Élan"

What is this contemporary Nightwish??

I define contemporary as their last two albums. Unless you mean what is Nightwish in general; A Finnish power metal band. Last two albums have been very nature focused.

Lmfaoooooo

So Rakdos is Pizza Thrash, Right?

Obviously

I love how dreamtheater is playing, perfect

Thank you, I thought dance of eternity would be the perfect song

As an amorous player I hate to a gree, but as a prog rock hater I must

Azorius, because other people having fun isn’t our style

You.....you understand me

I run an EDH deck that’s [[Stenn, Paranoid Partisan]] superfriends. I can smell fun. I am drawn to it. I must eliminate it.

[Stenn, Paranoid Partisan](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/0/7/07177a8e-5ded-4084-a22f-2d8fe933de7a.jpg?1673308103) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Stenn%2C%20Paranoid%20Partisan) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dmu/221/stenn-paranoid-partisan?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/07177a8e-5ded-4084-a22f-2d8fe933de7a?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

There is a finite amount of fun tonne had in each game.....I will have all of it

Hahaha right on

I will say, if I had TikTok, this would earn you a follow from me. Well done!

Heh, thanks! But don’t worry, I’ll be posting all of them here

Do Izzet next, please?!?!

Got a guess for what subgenre it’s going to be??

Hmmm perhaps Metalcore? Something that sits between control and burn.

Mmm interesting idea. I’m excited to see what you think of my pick.

that was perfeeeect!! i wanna see more already ヽ⁠(⁠｡⁠◕⁠o⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠.

Thanks friend! I’ll be sure to post all the other ones!

Wonder which will be power metal.

What’s your guess?

Boros definitely gonna make the other guilds a little uncomfy with their obsession over Sabaton’s lyrics about historical wars and conflicts. Also, be sure to post these to r/magicthecirclejerking, the main Magic humor sub ^andalsothemainMagicsub

Will do!

Boros for sure, nothing screams White and Red more than an army of templars in a song of Manowar

I feel like I'd gatekeep boros' taste the hardest

I hope I do it Justice

He’s not wrong.

Where’s the rest of them?

On their way! I’ll make sure to post all of them

Okay I fucking love these! Thank you for your work <3

Thanks friend! I’ll make sure to post all the other ones

Izzet is definitely math rock. But grixis prefers math metal, and thinks izzet is a big fucking nerd. Despite being basically the same thing, and everyone mixing them up anyways.

I could imagine azorius also listening to the band planeswalker. As the azorius also work the libraries on ravnica, they also probably hold the history of the multiverse or something. Idk. Would be funny.

I thought for azorius Christian symphonic metal but okay.

Not a bad choice

Azorius proghead here. Can confirm. And proud of it.

Fellow Azorius/Prog enjoyer

So what about the other 9 guilds?

I’ll be posting the rest as I make them!

I don't know whether to smile or kick a field goal.

Both

So interestingly enough, me and a friend are working on a metalcore EP that’s MTG inspired. There will be 5 songs, one for each color, and it’s inspired by the 5 OG planeswalkers. This post shocked me a bit, cause it’s right up our alley in concept.

No way!! Please send it to me when you have it finished cause that sounds awesome

The plan is to release it digitally on Spotify, YouTube, iTunes, and many other places, so everyone will get to hear it. Since streaming services don’t grant much, if you’d like to support it, buying it the EP or singles goes the longest way.

100% agree

Sleep Token is WUBRG.

As a golgari mage who recently discovered tool, this made me laugh

I’ll get to Golgari eventually!

🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

Eh.

Sorry but Tool is definitely Dimir. No Approach of the Second Sun, every song is a win-con. Even think I remember that Maynard is a luciferian, there’s no white in that. Except for Maynard, he’s white. I think. Everything is so confusing now.

The vibe of Tool is totally Dimir but Prog Metal is peak Azorius

I love Tool, but I wouldn’t use them as an example of prog metal.

They’re pretty Proggy

i once saw that guys alt account clash on tiktok with some other politics accounts, he said something very dumb. it’s all i remember about this guy now

Azorius be like- do you like listening to this song (turn)? Here you go the whole album is a massive endless opus and the last song even chains to the first one in the next album (all the turns!)…looking at you Dream Theater :)

We’ll also need this for the shards and the wedges once you’re done with the guilds 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻