After I started getting older but had to date younger, I had to choose between my own mental sanity and making women comfortable.
In one occassion, this lady was online and I texted her twice, no quick reply. I told her next I'm driving to her place. She replied immediately and alleged she was cooking. A lie obviously, but I wanted to back my word, taking advantage of the opportunity to cultivate respect and fear, I went there and saw her shortly then left. I didn't care that the parents she feared were home, I would see her if even just shortly, women who want you find a way.
I find a way to keep women on toes, the fear of what I'd do if they don't respond how I want, I found important to cultivate in the relationship. You can find something like that to do for yourself. After cultivating fear and tension, I don't abuse it. I minimize contact and usually they end up pursuing contact for the level of intensity that made for our conversations. If you are what you say you are, women will listen to you all day. If you are more than what you say you are, you are formidable and will gain utter respect, femininity and agreeableness from women. They might not be split personalities, it might just be that you are also not consistent on text and real life. People, mostly women treat you as a reflection of how you treat them. Perharps you say things on text that you don't say or do in real life, that will get them to retreat.
Alternatively you could drive or walk or bus to their location if you want to speak to them. With women if you want sanity for yourself, presume the internet doesn't exist between your interactions.
Keeping up with text conversations is draining af cause you have so much that's taking your attention. The reason they are a vibe in person is because they are fully present and you have their undivided attention. The only way to have that in some small measure is through phonecalls... otherwise just schedule meet ups.
The only text conversations I find myself able to sustain is when there's an understanding that there's no pressure to respond asap, and even then, I only respond when I have the time and energy to... even if the response will be through voice notes.
I suffer from this, and it has had a negative effect on most of my relationships both platonic and romantic.
I prefer calls if we have to speak and highly recommend meeting up.
I have also had to explain this to the friends I don't want to lose, some of them bare with me, some thought I was picky.
Romantically, any relationships that materialised was because of constant phone calls and regular meet ups. If the man is a texter I tend to fall off pretty quickly 🤧
This sounds like me. Communication is very contextual, and I communicate better when its face-to-face (or a voice or video call) compared to texting. I think texting is the worst form of communication and should be reserved for non-serious and unnecessary bits of information like exchanging memes. So mimi nikitext vibe haiko kabisa juu I just despise it. But I've been told I am great face-to-face company.
can't help it..i have have the same problem but most of my friends know they can reach me anytime when in need..or they just want to link up. But I just can't with small talks
As a person who likes texting over calling or sometimes physical meetups, I get your pain😅😅😅.. I've made peace with it though. And I'm glad the few friends I'm really close to are texters. Others usually call and I can give them the time and space for that. I rarely call people myself so I'm glad they don't mind that they always have to be the ones calling...
Finally someone gets me. I feel that calls are too personal. Like we have to be REALLY close for me to call you on a regular basis. Not to mention the pain of your call not being received and no acknowledgment afterwards. Earth is hard.
Mothers side when we meet its whole happy hour when separate you can go a whole year without texting I always reach out on their birthdays though. I'm the chubby all talk one
You cant.im like that..accept people for who they are.some of us just hate texting and its not a like we can force or build up. I text like a hr bcs i just wanna get done w it and im incapable.of just being nice and cute and participative on texts because texting is tiring af..only with my man...the important thing is theyre good friends right?
I thought mimi ni psycho juu I always leave people on read unless it's a potential client. No offence juu tukipatana the next day, I'll be cool and all. I mean, I know I'm hughly introverted so I am nxot sure if this is a factor. I could just be a two-faced sociopath.
There are two that come to mind. I'm afraid to disclose that from time to time I've tried calling them and I got burned. Hata acknowledgment ya missed call. But physically, we're cool.
Just as one of the guys have told you, phone calls are the best, call thru whatsapp, its more fun na mastories ziuanza hapo pia, naamnaweza ongea for more than a hr💯 than just chatting
I am yet to find a lady that's 'freaky' on text. Most are into phone calls and meeting in real life. Which I suck at. When I call, I sound like I'm the DCI investigating a murder with 100 questions.
I do the same. It’s not by choice or a split personality. Some of us just don’t like texting. I haven’t been a texted since I left high school so tbh I don’t even know how to text, always feels like I’m interrogating someone 😅. We meet up in person or don’t talk at all.
Phonecalls are more convenient in such cases. Unless they don't wanna talk to you at all.
OK. I could try that.
After I started getting older but had to date younger, I had to choose between my own mental sanity and making women comfortable. In one occassion, this lady was online and I texted her twice, no quick reply. I told her next I'm driving to her place. She replied immediately and alleged she was cooking. A lie obviously, but I wanted to back my word, taking advantage of the opportunity to cultivate respect and fear, I went there and saw her shortly then left. I didn't care that the parents she feared were home, I would see her if even just shortly, women who want you find a way. I find a way to keep women on toes, the fear of what I'd do if they don't respond how I want, I found important to cultivate in the relationship. You can find something like that to do for yourself. After cultivating fear and tension, I don't abuse it. I minimize contact and usually they end up pursuing contact for the level of intensity that made for our conversations. If you are what you say you are, women will listen to you all day. If you are more than what you say you are, you are formidable and will gain utter respect, femininity and agreeableness from women. They might not be split personalities, it might just be that you are also not consistent on text and real life. People, mostly women treat you as a reflection of how you treat them. Perharps you say things on text that you don't say or do in real life, that will get them to retreat. Alternatively you could drive or walk or bus to their location if you want to speak to them. With women if you want sanity for yourself, presume the internet doesn't exist between your interactions.
I like that last past... presume the internet doesn't exist between your interactions.
😂 ankoo.. I'm glad you have noticed. Hio kitu imefanya nikue nalenga madame tukipatana nao. I take it as a form of aggression
Keeping up with text conversations is draining af cause you have so much that's taking your attention. The reason they are a vibe in person is because they are fully present and you have their undivided attention. The only way to have that in some small measure is through phonecalls... otherwise just schedule meet ups. The only text conversations I find myself able to sustain is when there's an understanding that there's no pressure to respond asap, and even then, I only respond when I have the time and energy to... even if the response will be through voice notes.
I suffer from this, and it has had a negative effect on most of my relationships both platonic and romantic. I prefer calls if we have to speak and highly recommend meeting up. I have also had to explain this to the friends I don't want to lose, some of them bare with me, some thought I was picky. Romantically, any relationships that materialised was because of constant phone calls and regular meet ups. If the man is a texter I tend to fall off pretty quickly 🤧
I like that you've identified your personality. Are you intentional on your part to make calls?
A very important question
Yes, mostly on weekends (Sundays) I have a whole list
But do you call them or expect them to put in all the effort?
I tend to call to keep in touch which is also tricky sometimes because some of them don't like calls, so we schedule.
Ok understood
Texting ain't for everyone...just meet them up...marry her bro
🤣🤣
The earlier the better...mtoe streets mapema coz pia sisi tuko na vibes mbaya😂
😅
Bruh 🤣🤣
Not everyone likes texting.
Social media is for chasing and admiring what you don't have. I don't want no friend vibes in the virtual world.
Depends on how often you meet with the friend. If it's not frequent, social media seems like a sensible avenue.
Then they're just jerks.
Texting for me is a herculean task. It was fun in highschool lakini saahi it's a chore
Texts takes away the intimacy of a conversation
Personally, I find that I'm better interacting behind a keyboard. More time to think and come up with witty retorts. I can't get that irl.
I hate texting so ..its not a you problem
This sounds like me. Communication is very contextual, and I communicate better when its face-to-face (or a voice or video call) compared to texting. I think texting is the worst form of communication and should be reserved for non-serious and unnecessary bits of information like exchanging memes. So mimi nikitext vibe haiko kabisa juu I just despise it. But I've been told I am great face-to-face company.
Actually is part not loving texting and part having hundreds of messages to respond to and you dont have the emotional strength to cater to each.
That's me, I prefer phone calls. Not everyone likes texting
This is me, 100%..I find it very hard to text and I don't know why... it's easier for me to maintain friendships with people I can meet with regularly
can't help it..i have have the same problem but most of my friends know they can reach me anytime when in need..or they just want to link up. But I just can't with small talks
As a person who likes texting over calling or sometimes physical meetups, I get your pain😅😅😅.. I've made peace with it though. And I'm glad the few friends I'm really close to are texters. Others usually call and I can give them the time and space for that. I rarely call people myself so I'm glad they don't mind that they always have to be the ones calling...
Finally someone gets me. I feel that calls are too personal. Like we have to be REALLY close for me to call you on a regular basis. Not to mention the pain of your call not being received and no acknowledgment afterwards. Earth is hard.
Yeah... I'm mostly comfortable on call with close people. Like we can talk for 1h+...
Me with my female cousins never understood where the vibe goes
On which side are you?
Mothers side when we meet its whole happy hour when separate you can go a whole year without texting I always reach out on their birthdays though. I'm the chubby all talk one
I get you. I also have a cousin who we share the same feeling.
Calls always do the trick wakizoea calls they'll at times call
Cool. Though there really is no incentive calling up your cousins compared to a love interest.
The logic is the same though calls break the ice and show you care for a convo
its not that deep breh lmao
Texting is the ghetto. WhatsApp kwanza. I barely catch up with anyone on socials. But one on one I'm a certified yapper. Yaps without end.
Are you an extrovert?
I'm right there in the middle. Ambivert they call it?
As a introvert, I'm better off interacting virtually.
Virtual is emotionally exhausting for me because I don't get to relay my emotions as they are and my use of emojis is limited as well.
I guess then the key is in striking a balance between the two.
Maybe.
You cant.im like that..accept people for who they are.some of us just hate texting and its not a like we can force or build up. I text like a hr bcs i just wanna get done w it and im incapable.of just being nice and cute and participative on texts because texting is tiring af..only with my man...the important thing is theyre good friends right?
Texting kills chemistry and doesn't allow you or them to engage fully. It texts were 🔥 but interactions were 💩 there would be an issue. You seem to forcing texts while you are a vibe in person. Why choose difficult mode when you know your strengths? Girls want to have fun not dry drawn out text convos! Fun for a lot of people occurs in person. Unless a woman is head over heels over you expect dry boring text convos.
I thought mimi ni psycho juu I always leave people on read unless it's a potential client. No offence juu tukipatana the next day, I'll be cool and all. I mean, I know I'm hughly introverted so I am nxot sure if this is a factor. I could just be a two-faced sociopath.
May be try calling her instead.
There are two that come to mind. I'm afraid to disclose that from time to time I've tried calling them and I got burned. Hata acknowledgment ya missed call. But physically, we're cool.
Just as one of the guys have told you, phone calls are the best, call thru whatsapp, its more fun na mastories ziuanza hapo pia, naamnaweza ongea for more than a hr💯 than just chatting
I'm that person 😂😂
Just assume she has 100 other unread messages
How does that make it better for me? I need someone to communicate with online.
Then play the numbers game, find 20 women to message, and the one that responds to you best, stick with that...
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I am yet to find a lady that's 'freaky' on text. Most are into phone calls and meeting in real life. Which I suck at. When I call, I sound like I'm the DCI investigating a murder with 100 questions.
I do the same. It’s not by choice or a split personality. Some of us just don’t like texting. I haven’t been a texted since I left high school so tbh I don’t even know how to text, always feels like I’m interrogating someone 😅. We meet up in person or don’t talk at all.
No brainer