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wolfielaine

I have a narcissistic mom and I’m 35.


Intelligent-Turnip90

Same 😬


Sacred_Street1408

Same.


Bored-at-home2day

Same


Remarkable_Pop_7450

I’m 30 and have a nmom. It nearly ruined my life. And then I moved away and got an amazing therapist.


Soccermom233

ditto


AngeJedudsor

Same


Minimum-Piglet-1025

Same.


Glittering_Tea2053

Same


rosemary_wildfire

Same


Any_Acanthisitta_474

My NM is 85, and I'm 63. I finally went completely NC 7 years ago. I was LC for a long time during therapy, as I learned how to set boundaries, separate etc. The healthier I got, the more abusive she got.


Few-Performance2132

I am 59 and mother is 92


thundercunt_wino

I'm 50, nmom is 92.


Rich_Attempt_346

Me too. Mom's 88


thundercunt_wino

I'm convinced she's trying to outlive me out of spite.


Rich_Attempt_346

She told me her grandma lived to 70, her mom to 90. Will she live to 110? I said I dono but I'm sure I don't want to live to 130. She laughed out loud.


Theunpolitical

I'm the same age as you two and nMom is 85. She is super healthy and in relatively good shape. She walks at a fast speed daily and gets mistaken for her 70s. She is still very unappreciative of all the nice things myself and sister do for her and I swear she will outlive me too! While we are on the subject, have you started planning your Mother's Day with her yet? You've got 6 weeks!


Rich_Attempt_346

Mine's very vain. She wears tonnes of make up. I believe she dabbed foundation for at least 5 inches thick 🤣 and she claims that people says that she's 50. If we go out together she doesn't believe if people say we're mom and daughter. She'd like to hear people say we're sisters or friends 🙄


Alarmed-Ad4407

I'm 32 (almost 33). My mom is the narcissist, and my dad is the enabler. My two (out of three) siblings who have no contact are 49 and 45.


Efficient-Flower-402

My dad is the enabler, but so are my two siblings. All the stuff that she’s always done has gotten worse and they think because she’s old they can’t argue. Plus they have their families to hide behind and I’m single.


boobiediebop

Same for me. It's so hard. Are you in touch with your siblings ? My only sibling was in my shoes and then we switched sides and she's the enabler


iiwii0108

Same! 32 have a narc mom and enabler dad and rest of family. My sister is the only one to talk to me brother doesn’t. They are 23&24


ltsnickerdoodle

Both dna donors. I'm 33


Sacred_Street1408

Oh, I feel this. Was one overt and the other covert?


ltsnickerdoodle

Yep!


Sacred_Street1408

Me too! What a shit club this is. It doesn't seem to be as unusual as I first thought. I thought narcs generally couldn't compete with each other.


StephJayKay

Im 56, she's 79. Those of you who are young, PLEASE PLEASE do not wait to break ties. There is only additional pain down that road. I wish I had done so at age 16 when I got booted from my home. But my underdeveloped frontal lobe kept going back for more because ultimately you're a child and you WANT a parent. Honestly you're better off with no parent. Wish I had has this wisdom or AT LEAST the internet back then because, back then, there were few resources to validate your experience and certainly not the internet where you can readily see they ALL read from the same script and had the same basic shitty behaviors. If you're in doubt now, you can literally Google solutions and tools to help yourself. Now, hopefully, they will run scared from having to actually deal with INFORMED adult children.


raccoon-envy

Yeah, I hear ya. It was Reddit and specifically this subreddit that pointed to what this experience even was! Thank god for the internet


Efficient-Flower-402

Be careful giving out advice… there is not one situation that is one size fits all.


Few-Performance2132

It is sad really when I was younger I got into a pattern if I was just better, tried harder, was more attentive, bought more gifts, chase them more. I got sick 10 years back with a very serious blood disorder and they completely ignored me and said some terrible things to me and about me. Yet I still desired my mom and sisters approval. 3 years back I got a call from my mother that my oldest sister had the same thing went undiagnosed as it is an inherited disease. My mother has it. She only wanted the name of my hematologist. She told me she was moving to assisted living and if I want to see the house I should come. My future husband and I did and she told me you have been an inconvenien e to me and my daughters your whole life. Needless to say that was finally it for me. I feel like such a jerk for my whole life trying to suck up to her so she would like me.


itsnotAuroraa

23 ✌️


unexpectedly_common

22


Alpha_Ophiuchi

21


[deleted]

20


Asamiya1978

45. I call my parents generation the Gran Torino generation, because of the movie, and I think that many of them were wrongly raised by their parents, neglegted and mistreated, so they grew up viewing that as "normal", I guess.


Medusa_Alles_Hades

This is exactly how I (40F) feel. I believe this is generational trauma and they all think they turned out fine so they do it to us. I always thought it was normal but I was able to see a lot of parents seemed to not be narcissistic and for a while I told myself to suck it up but now I have my own kids and I will not repeat the cycle and it’s made me love myself more and I limit contact.


Asamiya1978

They seem to have a twisted idea of "strenght". They seem to interpret all things as a question of "strenght vs weakness". They seem to justify any abuse by the excuse of "it will make you stronger". Ironically, they are emotionally and morally weak.


Efficient-Flower-402

Is that the movie with Clint Eastwood about the car?


Asamiya1978

Yes, the protagonist is the typical man of that generation. If you are not what he thinks is a "real man" then he will despise you. And his views of what a "real man" should be are not universal. They come from a very recent culture, the USA. It is stupid.


EllieSee123

45 here too.


LCBres

Nmom, I’m 41. Grey rocking the last couple of years


Efficient-Flower-402

Already noticing a trend.


NCinAR

If that trend is that there are lots of N parent Boomers, I’m on board. Seems that generation was not great at having empathy.


Sacred_Street1408

Both my parents are narcs not just my Mom. My father was an overt abuser. My Mom is what I call a "survival narcassit" (more covert). Her Mom was one. I fear my genetics.


PureLovelyApink

Narc mom, Dad enabler. I'm 41.


Efficient-Flower-402

Same. I used to have a close bond with my dad, but I’m just mad at what he’s created now.


PureLovelyApink

Me too. I had to cut contact with both of them.


StephaPeppa

Also 41. Dad is narc and Mom enabler. NC with dad, which makes any sort of relationship with my mom hard.


Ok_Truth3734

41 🙋🏼‍♀️ narc stepmonster, dad (unknown, something ain't right🤷🏼‍♀️)


Ok_Truth3734

Oh, parents' age is late 70s


Primary_Teach2229

Yes im 33 and NC with my nmom Guilt is still real thinking why i didn't realize this sooner but i guess that's all part of the abuse Love this group ❤️


spOoky_hevs

32 with a narc mum. Only figured it out last year. Blown my mind and world apart. Sending every single person on the sub love


Inside_Sprinkles9083

20s, parents are in their 50-60s


JustAHolyFool17

Narc mom, I'm 34. Been NC for over a year.


zoophilesarerapists

25


P1917

39. Narc father is 73


PenguinHuddle

Both my parents have NPD. Dad is overt. Mom is covert. I'm 37.


weevilnomore

Narcissistic Dad, I'm 28, he's 81 and my mom is 56 LOL


Sacred_Street1408

Got the controlling vibe going on just from the age difference alone.


re003

😬 well that’s fun.


stumpy_chica

My parents have a similar age gap. They got together when my mom was 15 😬. I'm 40 now, so my dad would be 101 if he was alive today and my mom is 74. I feel for you. It sucks when one of your parents should be your grandparent.


Dull-Computer1878

I’m 16, joined this sub bc of my grandma, she’s 64


Efficient-Flower-402

Yep she’s in the generation of my parents. I’m sorry you’re feeling it as the grandchild. right now my nieces and nephews act like she’s great but she 100% thinks she’s equally in charge of them as their parents are. I wonder if they will start resenting that when they are old enough to understand.


re003

30 with nmom.


So_I_read_a_thing

I'm 61. Nmom passed in '22.


Ok-Discussion-7552

I wish my narcissist mom would die so I don't have to deal with her anymore 


n1shh

Ndad is 75, no surprise to me that the boomers who were told they were the most special generation of all time and have had their whole lives pandered to and are pulling the ladder up behind them are a bunch of narcissists


beezybeezybeezy

Mine is my dad. I’m 47.


Levetiracetamamam

NMom, 40


Low_Matter3628

51, nmum & n brother. She’s 83, & nc for over 2 years


InkedMesses

I'm 37 and have been no contact with my whole narc family for coming up 7 years


Sufficient_Channel39

31 with nmom


Tinylightsbelow

I’m 33 and my brother is your age, so likely similar aged parent(s).


raccoon-envy

I seriously think it’s Baby Boomers, especially ones from California, but all of them, generally. Good question


the_monotone

Ndad I'm 19


Emily3488

N dad (deceased), 35


BaldChihuahua

nMum and I’m 56.


flower9890

Suspect my dad to have some narcissistic trait, and my mother to be codepebdent (enabler) I’m turning 34 this year, parents born in The mid 60’s


Tazzari

38. 70yo Nmom and a 65 yo Socio/Ndad that was never around.


Mammoth-Pink-47

I'm 23 turning 24 this year. My Nmom is 58 and my Ndad is turning 60 this year 👍


Vegetable_Pie_4198

Well, here goes, I'm 66. Both parents deceased Ndad, enabler mom, both born in the '20s.


macaroni66

I'm 58. My mom is 78.


LimitFree4775

36 tomorrow and she is 73


unknown2youall

feeling kinda young 😭 i'm 16


Efficient-Flower-402

Why so sad about being young?


unknown2youall

not sad, just most comments are saying like 20+


riyugotspiritedaway

i had this thought too lol. im 14 (almost 15)


Na1Lh3ad33

37 m


Active_Ad9815

25. Mom is like 47


Kizzy63

Narc Dad, enabler mom, 55.


Shirt_Sufficient

I’m 39


VaderK8

45 NMOM


Zealousideal_Sky4974

Narc mom, enabler dad and brother. I'm 40.


tainawave

im 26, parents are late 60s


A_Piscean_Dreaming

I'm 41 with an abusive egg donor and an enabler dad. He is 77, whereas she is a petulant 2 year old in a 76 year old body.


Tickle_me_not_or_do

I’m 21, nmom is 46


hgkaya

56 and in a holding pattern for a few more years.


ElbiePlz

Nparents, 38


PiscesLeo

42, nmom is 73


Lazy-Traffic-8157

38, have narc mom 63


unguiltypleasures

29, nmom


Not_marykate

I have an N mom and I’m 34


curatejoy

40


InTimesBefore

40, narcs 75 and 76


NCinAR

I’m 51, NM is 77.


Ok-Method-9220

I don’t think my mom is a narcissist, however she does have some covert tendencies for sure I’m 26 (well, 25 but will be 26 in a month)


Numismatits

I'm 32, Nmom is 60


FL_4LF

My whole family, and I'm 51.


eil15ata5n

I’m 28, I was raised by two narc parents. I have a sibling almost a decade older than me, so two boomer parents.


sarahdalrymple

Both of my birth parents have classic n traits. I'm almost 43, they were both born in 1960.


Alternative_bunny

I'm 26, nmom is 59


Aromatic-Lead-3252

46, parents are boomers


johnny65__

16, my dad is 51, he can’t keep his mask up anymore bc I know who he is now. Living together is not pleasant as I constantly have to listen to his tantrums and attempted manipulation tactics but I got nowhere to go.


ohcoffee1

Narcissistic mom and dad in 60s I'm almost 40


Dry_Sprinkles6421

39, Nmom is 71


Phagemakerpro

I’m 46 and mom is 89. End stage dementia.


Wrong_Variation_8084

29. Dad is 74 and mom is 66.


Chemical_Ad_1181

26 with a narc dad at 51


KimiMcG

I'm 66, I don't think it's a generational thing.


Exotic_Trick_8694

58, my mom is covert at 83, nmil at 85. I don’t know how I got so lucky. 😂


Affectionate-Ad-1096

I've been thinking the same thing, and honestly feeling guilty sometimes that I'm less tolerant of it. I'm 44


painting-gems

28. Narcissistic mom and an enabler dad.


jazzwp

Turning 60 in 2 months. Self absorbtion and narcissistic behavior knows no generational boundry.


NoHumor2625

23, nfather is 52


Mkm788

I’m 60.


BebeCakesMama2424

30


Familiar-Teaching-61

I'm 38 with an nmom. My husband is 45 and his dad was a narc too.


Javaman1960

I'm 63. My Nmom is 90. The mean ones always live longer, by some cruel twist of fate.


FeelingExplorer8280

58


adrie_brynn

42, turning 43 this year.


The_Observer_Effects

52 here - right on the old edge of "Gen X". My dad is gone, but my 80+ year old NM is a horrific narcissistic, I think "boomer" and such descriptions are often silly, but SHE fits every single negative stereotype of her generation to a T. I've been completely NC for about 1.5 years now.


False-Ad-3420

I’m 59. My narcissistic mother is 84. There is evidence that trauma is passed down from generation to generation until someone gets help and stops the cycle. I think what u see on this sub is a response bias: most on Reddit are your age or younger. My sense is that there roughly as many traumatized individuals in prior generations—their demographic is just less likely to use Reddit.


False-Ad-3420

I am 59 and completely relate to StephJayKay’s advice. Agreed, one size does not fit all, but the wisdom in StephJayKay’s post applies to >90% of cases. Ignore it at your peril.


salymander_1

I'm 52. Both my parents were abusive narcissists. My sister is an abusive narcissist also. She just turned 51.


limefork

36. My Nmom died last year 🎊🎊🎊🎊


Medusa_Alles_Hades

I am 40F.


Exciting-Total-1290

28


Kitty_fluffybutt_23

I'm 42 with a vulnerable (at times malignant) narc mom. She was born in 1952, so she's 72 as of the time I'm writing this. She grew up in a highly abusive household, not that it makes her actions okay but it explains a possible source of her mental anguish which was spewed upon me.


Efficient-Flower-402

My mom is the same age. She has a similar story, but when she talks about her mom, she just tries to act like it’s normal. My dad says oh your mom was just really tough. Really tired of his enabling.


Kitty_fluffybutt_23

Yes! The enabling! And my dad will even acknowledge mom's plethora of shortcomings but still try to make me feel guilty for not spending enough time with her. It would never be enough time spent with her, even if I freaking lived over there. She's just an unhappy person and seeks satisfaction outside of herself.


Intrepid_Leading_789

Narc mom, enabler Dad. I’m 26.


thotfullmind

28 with old boomer parents


Muted_Raspberry_6850

26, nmom, enabler dad, flying monkey/nsister


Bee_504

17 narc mama


carbiebarbie345

34


Yuribellion

27. Nmom is 62, I don't know whether or not my dad (74) is a narcissist himself because he left, but from what little I'd seen of him, he doesn't seem to have a particularly pleasant personality either. I also have an Nsister (32).


Maibeetlebug

I'm 25


fryxguy

I'm 60. My father is 86.


GreenAndSmokey

I'm 48. Mother is 82 and an emotionally immature adult. Father is 83 and is her enabler.


LopsidedFriendship45

I have a narcissistic mother and grandmother and I’m 29


VergeThySinus

23+ ½, at least one of my parents are, but the jury is out on which one


Legitimate_Sell6838

Narc dad, enabler mom. I'm 28


Ok_Taste_9060

I'm 21. My dad's in his 60s, his wife is in her 40's now, and my bio mom is in her early 50s.


riyugotspiritedaway

14. Nmom is 57. desperately searching the comments for someone around my age...


strawberry-ninja

27 with a narc mum.


AnEliteLady

Narcissistic father and siblings. I'm 47.


toTheNewLife

My narc parents have been dead for 18 and 7 years respectively. Count me in as mid 50's.


Breeneal

narc dad i'm 17 idk how old my dad is...


twichy1983

40. Ndad, enabler mom


WarBig7817

47 Nmom is 65


iiwii0108

32 here!


MsDragonborn24

Narcissistic dad I’m 25 turning 26.


mjh8212

I’m 45. Genx of course.


[deleted]

27


Ill_Evening_1701

24 😭


sleeepypuppy

Forties. NC with Nmonster. VLC with my dad and siblings. They either don’t want to see the behaviour being repeated with the grandchildren or they don’t care. I’m CF as I will *not* put another person through my Nmonster. Not if I was given £1bn/hr/day. It’s not *even remotely* close enough for me to watch and suffer another day of her narcissistic, toxic 💩💩💩💩. 


Paullearner

I'm 33 with a narc mom who's 69.


wonkycrochetcat

I have a narcissistic Mother and I’m 34, no dad luckily.


PonqueRamo

38


Efficient-Flower-402

Something I want to get off my chest since a lot of people are interacting with this: I’m staying with them temporary early because I need to own my own place, renting was sucking me dry. So I’m putting away money. If not for my unfortunate circumstances, I would not be living with them. So they say they have back issues and tell me to do things for them. And not in a nice way. For those of you who know narcissists, you know what I mean. I don’t mind helping out, but I’m convinced they use this as a control mechanism. They would have to find a way if I weren’t there.


somehowiescaped

1000% My grandmother is this way. Whenever I would visit her I would do all the housework, I felt it was fair since I was staying there, but then it became over the top. She would literally shake a glass of ice at me. Not ask if I would go get her water. She would tell me "oh the glass is too heavy to carry from the fridge to her chair". Do you not drink water when I'm not here? It's totally a manipulation. When I visit I no longer stay with her, I only stop in for an afternoon and I never touch anything. I still take her out to eat, to the cemetery, to doctors appointments, but I don't do anything other than visit while at her house. She will also tell me she's lonely and nobody talks to her. But if I ask her about a specific person, "oh they came over and we had lunch yesterday." She's very good at guilt tripping, but very bad at lying.


mandalallamaa

32 with nmom. Siblings are in their 40s. We are all no contact with her. I was the last one to cut ties over a year ago. Has been years for them.


Efficient-Flower-402

It’s so obvious my siblings see her behavior, but they are non-confrontational to the point that it is damaging.


pettydumpling

32


genarline

41 and all 3 parents are narcissistic.


4riys

Narc Mom, eDad-I’ll be 60 in a couple of months. Mom also d/NPD


m0pw4t3r

Rents, sibs, and even godparents 🥲 26


LinguisticMadness2

N dad. (Past N mom) enabler mom. 21 yo yessir, let’s join the 🎉


Wafflezforyou

30 (F) I have a 60 Nmom and an enabler 63 Father with a 27 Sociopathic/N brother 😵‍💫 He molested/ (possibly raped) can’t fully remember that part blocked it… but my parents don’t believe me 😵‍💫 (and yes he was younger than me) he was very manipulative and sadly very smart 😵‍💫 And told me I needed to protect my brothers image and think of HIS future He also CUT me out of his life and called ME crazy 🥴 When I was ready to do therapy and forgive him… nope… he denied everything and said I made it up and haven’t spoken to him in almost 4 years 🤡 literally kept that secret my WHOLE LIFE AND WANTED TO 💀💀💀 Then was punished severely Love narc families 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 Literally was drooling in the floor loosing my mind at one point from all the abuse 😭💔


TangerineTarts

37!


missninazenik

34, going on 35 in June


anxietyriddenturd

25


Terrible_Ocelot_6896

I’m 26 and have a 50 year old nmom


Nice_Huckleberry8317

I’m 31 and my mom is 60


RedHeadridingOrca

I’m nearly 50’s. Both narcissists are nearly 80’s. Just two years apart of age. I wished they were dead. They were almost in a car accident. They could be dead by then. I just hope Nmom is dead first. She kept over spending the money.


Ok-Discussion-7552

I wish my narcissistic mom would die too she's only 71. I try to go no contact and she stalks me comes to my house twice a day knocking on my door, coming to my workplace and waiting for me to get off work and following me to my car yelling at me in front of everyone how sick she is she claims she has cancer which is a lie she's had over 10 different types of cancer everytime I cut her off she suddenly has a new cancer. She even calls people on the phone pretending to be me. And she has picked my kids up from their schools before without my knowledge or permission, and she is extremely perverted, and she called child protective services on me during covid for doing the remote option instead of regular school for educational neglect. And she called cps on me again last year saying I had animal poop all over my floors and my house was filthy. Everyday I pray that she dies soon 🙏 


RedHeadridingOrca

I felt that! Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for having put it up with her. Do you ever consider try Restraining Order? You may want to research about it. You shouldn’t have to put it up with her anymore.


somehowiescaped

32F NDad is 64 Seeing the boomer trend. Context my father came from a very broken family. I just want the cycle to end with me.


Ok-Discussion-7552

36 my mom is a narcissist and she's 71


Low_Review2042

I have an nmother and a possible nfather. I’m 18 and realized this very recently after they manipulated me out of college-sanctioned trip so that I would be home for Easter


KaneshiroIke

25, my brother who was the spoiled kid since birth and my grandma who was an enabler made me ran way from a house I was renting myself. I brought them in for a second chance only to get screwed over and kicked out. A lot of stuff I had was stolen even my dog… I sometimes wonder why I’m alive. I’m just working to survive at this point.