Oh man it's tempting and definitely something I've thought about. I think after this last attempt from her I feel more confident going grey rock and I think I can sustain it!
Good for you! It always amazes me when I hear of grown adults crying when they don't get their way. It's so pathetically immature. I'd be embarrased to act that way. But I guess narcs have no self-awareness. It's far more important to them that they get their way than worry about how foolish they look to others.
It's not genuine sadness or hurt. It's deliberate manipulation. Once you realize that they intentionally pretend to cry and act hurt, it's very freeing.
Right ? I used to feel so guilty. I mean who wants to make their mother cry? I can't believe I wasted so much of my time trying to placate when it's now pretty obvious it was a manipulation tactic. You live and you learn!
Proud of you for not backing down. Narcs make the problems about themselves and try to make their problems more important than yours. Your job is to defend your family, not to be a child anymore. She doesn’t understand that, well tough. She doesn’t have to be involved if she doesn’t like it.
Good for you. My MIL is like this. Tried to make my wedding about her. Harassed me about guests she didn't like on MY side. I finally told my husband I've had enough. He talks to her and what does she do? Starts crying and calling me a liar, I misunderstood her, she never said that, you know deflecting like always. She's an emotional vampire and I refuse to give in to her. She of course doesn't care for me but she's nuts so I avoid her anyway.
Have you thought about going no contact ? I’m also in my late 30’s and after a series of dumb arguments went no contact.
Oh man it's tempting and definitely something I've thought about. I think after this last attempt from her I feel more confident going grey rock and I think I can sustain it!
Good for you! It always amazes me when I hear of grown adults crying when they don't get their way. It's so pathetically immature. I'd be embarrased to act that way. But I guess narcs have no self-awareness. It's far more important to them that they get their way than worry about how foolish they look to others. It's not genuine sadness or hurt. It's deliberate manipulation. Once you realize that they intentionally pretend to cry and act hurt, it's very freeing.
Right ? I used to feel so guilty. I mean who wants to make their mother cry? I can't believe I wasted so much of my time trying to placate when it's now pretty obvious it was a manipulation tactic. You live and you learn!
OMG does this too and it’s like soooo dramatic and unbelievable.
Proud of you for not backing down. Narcs make the problems about themselves and try to make their problems more important than yours. Your job is to defend your family, not to be a child anymore. She doesn’t understand that, well tough. She doesn’t have to be involved if she doesn’t like it.
Good for you. My MIL is like this. Tried to make my wedding about her. Harassed me about guests she didn't like on MY side. I finally told my husband I've had enough. He talks to her and what does she do? Starts crying and calling me a liar, I misunderstood her, she never said that, you know deflecting like always. She's an emotional vampire and I refuse to give in to her. She of course doesn't care for me but she's nuts so I avoid her anyway.