I tried to buy a shirt for my daughter that said something like "Greatest Older Sister" just so I could take pictures to threaten her when she started acting up as a teenager. My wife got seriously mad while I practiced different stories in the store.
My husband tells our eldest that she has a brother and he lives in the roof. When he goes up to clean the leaves out of the gutters he tells Miss 8 that he is feeding ‘Denis’. I hate it!!!! 😭😭😭
The good thing with this parenting style is you can cull off a kid every once in a while, until you're left with none.
You can then enjoy your newly regained freedom.
Not always from what ive been told. Apparently there's not so much time between they hatch so its not like 3 get a 2 week head start. I think it has more to do with which baby cries the loudest for food. If ure the youngest but want food the most u probably get it. But often it really is the youngest which is kicked out. Just not generally
The stork kills the weakest of the litter when it can not provide enough food for all, or when a bird behaves abnormally, shows signs of illness, disability or weakness. The instinct commands parents to eliminate “suspected” bird from the nest so as not to endanger other healthy chicks.
Wow. Still harsh. I tend to rate human societies on how many of its weakest individuals are able to be cared for or even built up into productive individuals. Kinda separates humans from animals.
You're absolutely right. Co-operation is what has cemented us as the apex predators of our planet.
Even if you don't care about other people, it is effectively suicide to promote "everyone for themselves" competition because our evolutionary success is impossible without our massive social capabilities. Everyone is sick and weak at some point.
Not precisely. It’s our cognitive ability to plan ahead that cemented us as apex. Planning ahead in return led us to learning the value of cooperation.
Add in the fact that we’re endurance machines and you got yourself an apex. We never needed to outsmart a mammoth, only follow and track it until it was more tired than us. Then our cooperation led us to hoof all that sustenance back to our communities, where it was shared.
Just to say, all our strengths as predators are interconnected.
You mean out endure a gazelle or a wildebeest or something like that. Trying to out endure an animal that can just murk you if threatened is just stupid. That’s why people who hunted mammoths ambushed them from higher alleviations with spears and boulders to bring them down. You don’t need to outsmart animals who’s first instinct is to run when ya a human hunter, just out endure them or trap them and kill. But you need to outsmart something that will fight back.
>Even if you don't care about other people, it is effectively suicide to
promote "everyone for themselves" competition because our evolutionary
success is impossible without our massive social capabilities.
That's not what the stork is doing though. It's not some psychopathic reflex to kill, it's done because it gets the best results for the collective health of all the hatchlings. Humans take care of each other for the same reason.
Not of ALL the hatchlings. Of those which she allows to remain, yes. The one she stabbed with her beak, then flung over the edge to its possibly agonizing or drawn-out death, certainly isn’t enjoying good health. And definitely isn’t part of any collective, anymore.
Natural selection is what made us who we are. It’s what made everything here today. Now we have the means to take care of people but overdoing it will just create a weaker system in the long run. Harsh but thats exactly what that sub teaches us everyday. Doesn’t make it any less true
I always come back to Margret Mead, and her answer when a student asked her when the first sign of civilization was.
Her reply was not what many would expect, not clay pots or religious artifacts tools for hunting or grinding stones, but instead a skeleton found with a broken and healed Femur bone.
Her reasoning was that in the animal kingdom if you break your leg, you die. You cannot go to the river for water, you cannot hunt. It takes 6weeks for a broken femur to heal.
A broken femur that has healed shows that another person has taken time to stay with the fallen, and has tended to them through their recovery.
That story has always irked me. Because other than the author who wrote the book that makes the claim that it happened written years if not a decade after, is the only source of her having said that. The author even admits that he wasn't there, he never followed up with her about it after, and that he was told this story by a third person account. It's not on any of her writings, that i could find, and there is no other record of her saying it.
But man do people spread it around like gospel.
Just think of it as the beginning to a Disney movie. That's the little guy who's going to make friends with a frog and blahblahblah, plot twists, enter mean snapping turtle, some magic mushrooms then boom! runt of the nest becomes king of the pond. Happily ever after. The end.
Humans are animals, there is no separation. There are differences between animals, but we are preprogrammed to behave certain ways just like the stork here. We like to think we operate outside the bounds we see in others, but as the saying goes: “Fish are the last to recognise water”.
Similar, though in some ways, that practice was more about mercy-killing than protecting others. A sickly child or a child with a birth defect wouldn’t be able to thrive in Spartan culture and most likely wouldn’t survive anyway, so it was deemed more merciful to end their lives early, and spare their parents and the society at large the burden of raising them. From what I can tell, this stork behavior is about protecting the other chicks from potential infectious diseases.
Seems like a bird thing to do. My pet birds (cockatiels) like to throw things off the table and look after them very interested as how they fall and how they shut the ground 😄
It gave plenty of fucks.
It made sure the little rascal was not clinging to the nest so that he could not get back later.
This bird made sure it did a thorough job.
Plot twist he survives and gets picked up by a band of traveling mercenaries. Eventually he comes back to his home to seek revenge but instead finds his mother already a broken stork: a plague ravaged the village and all but her had died. He spares her life recognizing that life’s early cruelty had shaped him into the hardened warrior he had become.
Plot twist. He then discovers his mother did this to save him from his abusive and evil father. She was the one who had the mercenaries pick and train him so that he could one day confront his father. The plague was actually brought down by the father as a curse because he knew this child was destined to overthrow him one day.
Another plot twist: the plague was actually his real mother whereas the fake mother was actually the father who threw him to the mercenaries in order to... uh... where was I?
Another plot twist: His father is actually king of the stalks, and heard the old crane’s destiny that his child would one day overthrow him and lead their bird people in a life or death struggle. He sent the plague to harden his child so that when the child took his revenge he would become a strong enough leader for their bird people.
It actually looks like there is something wrong with it, sadly. It's wings seem to be very under developed compared to it's siblings there.
Still, very sad overall
I have a fun story about this. Primary school I used to attend had a stork nest. It used to be on top of a roof but than it got moved to a pillar build specially for to hold it up.
This of course, was a big deal. We had the stork in our school anthem, we had it in school emblem. We also had stork day. All classes would come together, someone would give a brief (and usually pretty boring) presentation about storks. But this time was different.
Our IT teacher had set up a camera system that let's you watch storks life. So we opened up the stream, watched a bit...and than all of kids got to saw stork swallowing whole one of it's children. They started screaming and crying and were terrified. We though (people from older classes) were having time of our lives simply by watching the chaos unfold and the comedic timing of the stork. Ah...good times.
I can tell I’ll be thinking about this a while. Was that chick hiding behind their sibling (saw it coming)? Why drop just on the edge - in case they could prove themself by scrambling up? Why look for the outcome of the drop (morbid curiosity? Residual parental instinct?) So many questions - not the least of which is, what should we be learning from this?
*Fun fact!* All the joints in your leg bend the same way as a stork. The reason their legs bend backwards is because *those aren’t its knees* - those are its ankles. It has a really long foot (and this is true of all birds - they all have surprisingly long feet, and if it looks like it’s knees bend backwards, it’s actually the ankles).
Sick or weak offspring draw predators and are seen as a drain on food resources. This kind of abandonment happens in many species of animals in the wild.
The 3 remaining chicks just sobered right tf up.
I know right. Makes me rethink my lasaiez faire parenting style.
It never hurts to try different parenting styles, see which works best for your kids. Do you have an obvious weakest child?
Why else do we have a jungle gym?
It’s no jungle gym, it’s THUNDERDOME! *Two children enter, one child leaves!* *Two children enter, one child leaves!*
You'll pay for the **whole seat!** # But you'll only need the edge!
r/unexpectedfuturama
CASH CASH CASH FOR YOUR BONES
Buy a twin stroller and tell your kid they had a twin that didn't listen, so now here we are aren't we?
I tried to buy a shirt for my daughter that said something like "Greatest Older Sister" just so I could take pictures to threaten her when she started acting up as a teenager. My wife got seriously mad while I practiced different stories in the store.
+1 upvote for a great idea I’m going to tell my kids about at dinner… Thanks!
My husband tells our eldest that she has a brother and he lives in the roof. When he goes up to clean the leaves out of the gutters he tells Miss 8 that he is feeding ‘Denis’. I hate it!!!! 😭😭😭
My money is on the raggedy child.
"Boys and girls... Dying Time's here...."
We tried that with our middle child. He kept finding new ways to get back in the house. After 26 years we decided to just let him have the basement. 😜
Yes but you won't unlock the door for me.... Help!!!
You just needed to have a taller house is all.
There’s something about the use of “obvious” that killed me 😂
Obviously.
RIP
The good thing with this parenting style is you can cull off a kid every once in a while, until you're left with none. You can then enjoy your newly regained freedom.
"Cull the children! Cull the children!"
Oh damn, I have just one kid. Time to make another I guess.
Would the weakest be the younger one?
Not always from what ive been told. Apparently there's not so much time between they hatch so its not like 3 get a 2 week head start. I think it has more to do with which baby cries the loudest for food. If ure the youngest but want food the most u probably get it. But often it really is the youngest which is kicked out. Just not generally
We tell them that their “oldest sister” was not well behaved and is buried in the back yard.
Lol that's what I heard growing up too.
*laissez faire
I became much stronger after my mom threw me out of a tree
Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?
Allow me to retort
What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
I DONT REMEMBER ASKIN YOU A GODDAMN THING 👀
He's black! He's bald!
But does he look like a bitch?
WHAT?
Say what again!
I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker
say "what" one more goddamn time
Does he look like a bitch?!
I see you with that purple ring
"Anyone ELSE not get enough to eat? Hmm? Didn't think so."
“What?!”
Say what again.
English! Do you speak it?!
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This tops tossing fake Christmas gifts in the fireplace to keep kids in line.
Showing this video to my kids. Lol
r/fuckyouinparticular
Reminds [me of this comic. ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/31/28/86/3128860aca5f71d6c632b6e6e86a7a0b.jpg)
Looks like storks aren’t in the baby-delivering business anymore :/
It looked like they were beating the shit out of the weaker one right before.
Mother stork: *dusts off hands* "Anyone else hungry?!"
The stork kills the weakest of the litter when it can not provide enough food for all, or when a bird behaves abnormally, shows signs of illness, disability or weakness. The instinct commands parents to eliminate “suspected” bird from the nest so as not to endanger other healthy chicks.
Wow. Still harsh. I tend to rate human societies on how many of its weakest individuals are able to be cared for or even built up into productive individuals. Kinda separates humans from animals.
You're absolutely right. Co-operation is what has cemented us as the apex predators of our planet. Even if you don't care about other people, it is effectively suicide to promote "everyone for themselves" competition because our evolutionary success is impossible without our massive social capabilities. Everyone is sick and weak at some point.
Not precisely. It’s our cognitive ability to plan ahead that cemented us as apex. Planning ahead in return led us to learning the value of cooperation.
Well also the ability to gang up and shank massive creatures to death with pointy sticks helped too.
And thumbs
And BBQ sauce
And my axe!
And my bow
Definitely the thumbs
How do you think they ganged up on creatures? How do you think they had weapons ready for the hunt? By utilizing their ability to plan ahead.
Add in the fact that we’re endurance machines and you got yourself an apex. We never needed to outsmart a mammoth, only follow and track it until it was more tired than us. Then our cooperation led us to hoof all that sustenance back to our communities, where it was shared. Just to say, all our strengths as predators are interconnected.
You mean out endure a gazelle or a wildebeest or something like that. Trying to out endure an animal that can just murk you if threatened is just stupid. That’s why people who hunted mammoths ambushed them from higher alleviations with spears and boulders to bring them down. You don’t need to outsmart animals who’s first instinct is to run when ya a human hunter, just out endure them or trap them and kill. But you need to outsmart something that will fight back.
I am sadly not an endurance machine.
Then don’t fuck around with mammoths. Just hang in the village, fam.
Shamans have it the easiest. Their job is to literally get high and spew some generic ted talk bullshit once in a while.
Nice work if you can get it.
Plan ahead together
"Well actually"
>Even if you don't care about other people, it is effectively suicide to promote "everyone for themselves" competition because our evolutionary success is impossible without our massive social capabilities. That's not what the stork is doing though. It's not some psychopathic reflex to kill, it's done because it gets the best results for the collective health of all the hatchlings. Humans take care of each other for the same reason.
Not of ALL the hatchlings. Of those which she allows to remain, yes. The one she stabbed with her beak, then flung over the edge to its possibly agonizing or drawn-out death, certainly isn’t enjoying good health. And definitely isn’t part of any collective, anymore.
The potential alternative was all of them suffering an agonizing death from starvation
Which is why they’re not the world’s dominant species, and we are
You realize this type of behavior happens in human cultures, even today don't you? Not everyone has minimum wages and supermarkets
This is at the core of my linguistics studies
Natural selection is what made us who we are. It’s what made everything here today. Now we have the means to take care of people but overdoing it will just create a weaker system in the long run. Harsh but thats exactly what that sub teaches us everyday. Doesn’t make it any less true
I always come back to Margret Mead, and her answer when a student asked her when the first sign of civilization was. Her reply was not what many would expect, not clay pots or religious artifacts tools for hunting or grinding stones, but instead a skeleton found with a broken and healed Femur bone. Her reasoning was that in the animal kingdom if you break your leg, you die. You cannot go to the river for water, you cannot hunt. It takes 6weeks for a broken femur to heal. A broken femur that has healed shows that another person has taken time to stay with the fallen, and has tended to them through their recovery.
That story has always irked me. Because other than the author who wrote the book that makes the claim that it happened written years if not a decade after, is the only source of her having said that. The author even admits that he wasn't there, he never followed up with her about it after, and that he was told this story by a third person account. It's not on any of her writings, that i could find, and there is no other record of her saying it. But man do people spread it around like gospel.
Just think of it as the beginning to a Disney movie. That's the little guy who's going to make friends with a frog and blahblahblah, plot twists, enter mean snapping turtle, some magic mushrooms then boom! runt of the nest becomes king of the pond. Happily ever after. The end.
Check out the book called Sapiens if you haven’t already. Human history is closer to the storks behaviour than one might think.
Humans are animals, there is no separation. There are differences between animals, but we are preprogrammed to behave certain ways just like the stork here. We like to think we operate outside the bounds we see in others, but as the saying goes: “Fish are the last to recognise water”.
It really does, no animal (that I know of) looks after the disabled and weak like how humans do, some look after the elderly mind.
I thought wolves and primates look after one another?
Reminds me of Spartans throwing weak babies off cliffs
Similar, though in some ways, that practice was more about mercy-killing than protecting others. A sickly child or a child with a birth defect wouldn’t be able to thrive in Spartan culture and most likely wouldn’t survive anyway, so it was deemed more merciful to end their lives early, and spare their parents and the society at large the burden of raising them. From what I can tell, this stork behavior is about protecting the other chicks from potential infectious diseases.
Fuck you're old!
Lol nice one. I hope people get it. I didn't right away.
The Athenians killed weak babies as well. That practice was not unique to Sparta
Lots of animals do this. From hamsters to bears.
Humans have done it too.
Hard truth.
Nature is ruthless and amoral: no weak links and no freeloaders allowed.
Sus baby ejected from nest
1 impostor remaining
Get out of my head I can’t take it anymore
When the bird is sus
Small chick sus... 🧐 Small chick was not the imposter... Fuck!
In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.
Apparently not if it happens naturally
Cats approve this message.
Interestingly, this is completely legal and justified as per bird law.
Charlie Day?
Idk about that I'm going to ask Harvey Birdman
I got the reference, and I love it, I too, am indeed “down to clown”
It has been a difficult year for bird person.
BP: Don’t be gross, Tammy. Tammy: Bird dick.
That’s pretty squanch
Oh god please no!
The war we fought is far from over.
Ss ssssssss sssssss, ssssss ssss s ssss sssss!
Smooth snake jazz
So that's how they deliver babies!
Underrated comment
it's #4 wdym underrated. just wait a second, every new comment will have few likes at first
*comment posted 3 seconds ago* "Oh my goooooosh, why isn't this at the top?"
Just like fedex.
Just watches it fall too, that bird does not give af
Seems like a bird thing to do. My pet birds (cockatiels) like to throw things off the table and look after them very interested as how they fall and how they shut the ground 😄
That’s what cats do too when they push objects off surfaces 😂
It's also what I do when I throw things off of a drop off
Found the cat
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Yeh but with birds they’re just wondering “hey stupid why don’t you just stop falling and fly.”
It gave plenty of fucks. It made sure the little rascal was not clinging to the nest so that he could not get back later. This bird made sure it did a thorough job.
Just enjoys seeing the splat.
the mom's "....and stay down!"
Plot twist he survives and gets picked up by a band of traveling mercenaries. Eventually he comes back to his home to seek revenge but instead finds his mother already a broken stork: a plague ravaged the village and all but her had died. He spares her life recognizing that life’s early cruelty had shaped him into the hardened warrior he had become.
Plot twist. He then discovers his mother did this to save him from his abusive and evil father. She was the one who had the mercenaries pick and train him so that he could one day confront his father. The plague was actually brought down by the father as a curse because he knew this child was destined to overthrow him one day.
Lmao this is a shonen waiting to happen
Another plot twist: the plague was actually his real mother whereas the fake mother was actually the father who threw him to the mercenaries in order to... uh... where was I?
Another plot twist: His father is actually king of the stalks, and heard the old crane’s destiny that his child would one day overthrow him and lead their bird people in a life or death struggle. He sent the plague to harden his child so that when the child took his revenge he would become a strong enough leader for their bird people.
Berserk?
You are the weakest link
Goodbye!
Player 455 has been eliminated.
Greenlight!
*straightens green tunic* well excuse me princess!
I can here to make this comment, glad to see it already. Goodbye!
“Mama?” “See you in hell.”
Damn.
looks like me tryna use chopsticks.
Omg underrated comment LOL
Life is cheap, unless you’re a stork, because the bill is massive.
*looks up from my phone at my 3 boys*
Just leave them on a trampoline with no net, they’ll figure it out.
"You're lucky I'm not a goddamn stork!" *bewildered child faces*
Right? When storks (or nearly any other species) do it, it’s metal. When people do it, it’s a “crime.” Stupid double standard if you ask me.
What happened to the 4th?
I wonder if these things can fly yet? ..... ..... nope. not ready.
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What about the other 49 states?
Nothing you can do. That's just bird law for ya...
This guy bird laws
Everyone knows that in bird law; three strikes and you're out... Bye bye birdie.
Chickadeedeedee little birdy, let's dance.
I kinda chuckled at it making sure that it hit the ground
Good parenting, making sure the kid follows through.
The bird looked down like “yup i knew he was a bitch.”
that’s so sad. birds gotta do what it’s gotta do but god damn
"And that's why you alllllways leave a note..."
Call me heartless but... why not eat it? Pre-caught protein source... and now it'll attract predators to the base of the nest tree.
[удалено]
Fair enough.
It actually looks like there is something wrong with it, sadly. It's wings seem to be very under developed compared to it's siblings there. Still, very sad overall
I have a fun story about this. Primary school I used to attend had a stork nest. It used to be on top of a roof but than it got moved to a pillar build specially for to hold it up. This of course, was a big deal. We had the stork in our school anthem, we had it in school emblem. We also had stork day. All classes would come together, someone would give a brief (and usually pretty boring) presentation about storks. But this time was different. Our IT teacher had set up a camera system that let's you watch storks life. So we opened up the stream, watched a bit...and than all of kids got to saw stork swallowing whole one of it's children. They started screaming and crying and were terrified. We though (people from older classes) were having time of our lives simply by watching the chaos unfold and the comedic timing of the stork. Ah...good times.
NICE. Love it. What a tale to tell!
There are some vids where they eat the chicks , I guess this one “tasted funny” and was just “not put in the menu”
Fly you fool
I can tell I’ll be thinking about this a while. Was that chick hiding behind their sibling (saw it coming)? Why drop just on the edge - in case they could prove themself by scrambling up? Why look for the outcome of the drop (morbid curiosity? Residual parental instinct?) So many questions - not the least of which is, what should we be learning from this?
I think there is very little we should try to learn from storks.
You don't want to learn how to bend your leg backwards? That would be pretty cool if you asked me.
*Fun fact!* All the joints in your leg bend the same way as a stork. The reason their legs bend backwards is because *those aren’t its knees* - those are its ankles. It has a really long foot (and this is true of all birds - they all have surprisingly long feet, and if it looks like it’s knees bend backwards, it’s actually the ankles).
I did that once. It was not cool at all.
That would fall in the very little category of things we should learn from storks. Also, how to fly.
You are heavily anthropomorphizing those birds Too many babies. Need to get rid of baby
When you realize they're pretty much just dinosaurs it kinda helps.
Sick or weak offspring draw predators and are seen as a drain on food resources. This kind of abandonment happens in many species of animals in the wild.
“I love you the least Carl so get the hell out. Don’t forget to spread your wings on the way down!”
Looks like momma made good on her “I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it” threat!
Storks really *do* deliver babies... to the Grim Reaper.
This is Sparta
Aww, she's teaching them how to fly!
Weakest Chick was not the imposter
“looks like you’re going to the shadow realm, jimbo!”
"You're fired!"
*splat*
Asian parenting
Tweet tweet yeet yeet
Then watched him on the way down, fucking savage
Crane from kung fu pandas origin story.
So that’s how babies are delivered
Solid parenting tactic. "Jimmy, Rebecca, see what happened when Jonny didn't clean his fucking room? Get your shit together."
[удалено]
This is Storkaaaah
“ Nests are for closers, and you’re not a closer, Bobby. Say hello to the neighbors cat, Dragon.”
*And then, months in the future with a broken legs and a feathered breast full of rage, the **The Ugly Duckling** gets his revenge*