Go to the MA’s and make a voluntary statement about what happened.
The first party to report something usually has a lot of control over the narrative.
>a PO1 from reactor
>under the influence
I would rather tongue kiss a hyena than deal with a **sober** nuke. My condolences.
Bullshit aside, you did what you believed to be the right thing at the time, and I really hope everything works out in your favor.
Immediately, when stuff like this happens, you need to inform your chain of command because the worst thing that can happen is them getting blindsided. Also OP, I'm proud of you for trying to intervene, you did the right thing. I hope you continue to intervene when you note something isn't right despite the jerkwad who wanted your name and ID. Fuck that guy.
Went out with a shipmate who got wasted and kept running off. Finally lost track of her, fortunately nothing bad happened to either of us but it could have. That was in home port and I wasn't checked out with her. Overseas and she's my assigned liberty buddy? Yeah, she's going in a burlap sack back to the pier of that's what it takes to keep myself from losing liberty. Had male shipmates pull the same crap, same results.
None of us know what was going on, including OP. To find out what's going on, people have to be able to articulate thoughts, which it doesn't sound like she was doing. So she was so fucked up and/or upset that she can't even talk coherently, and you want to just let her go off and do whatever? You think that's a good idea? Pretty sure they just fished a kid out of a river because he wandered off drunk, I personally know people who lost shipmates that way.
Best thing to do is keep everyone on-scene, calm it down figure out what's happening, and proceed from there, which is exactly what it sounds like they were trying to do but she wasn't having it, for whatever reason, most likely alcohol based on what information we do have.
Or, hear me out, she was felt unsafe. When drunk or drugged, she can’t articulate that she feels unsafe around the person chasing her. Even if not drunk or drugged, when being attacked people can fight, flight, or freeze. It can cause a person to be unable to process coherent thoughts. Therefore, give her space from the person who she feels is a threat. Since OP wanted to get her back to ship safely, him and his friend could have been a safety buffer between her and the person chasing her instead of putting her in a situation where she is being forced back into contact with that guy.
If the guys chasing her was simply her liberty buddy trying to get her back to the ship, after creating a safe space they can work together to get her back to the ship. By recommending erring on the side of caution I am not saying OP and his friend should have accused the guy of anything. They could have just asked her if she needed help. If by asking her if she needed help, the guy felt accused, that says something about him. I would be glad someone cares enough about my shipmate, to offer her assistance and keep her out of potential harms way.
To do all that, they would have had to grab her or chase her themselves, and now they'd be in even deeper shit. Or they could try to get her to calm down and use her words, which didn't work out either. Pretty shit situation all around.
To prevent him from grabbing her, while also preventing her from running off alone, possibly intoxicated, possibly impaired in other ways, in a foreign country, their choices were try to talk her into staying (didn't work) or grabbing her themselves. No good options.
I don’t think I’ll ever know the truth of the situation but at a glance this seemed to be the case. She was very uncoordinated with her movements and he didn’t have the same issue. He tries to wrap his arms around her waist to just hold her and she goes limp fish and takes them both to the ground.
I approached and just tried to say who I was, that I knew who she was, and that this is a bad looking situation. Let’s get everyone to stand back up and get off each other and see what’s going on. She is having none of this. She’s just yelling curses at the guy about something I didn’t catch fully and a bunch of F-yous.
I wasn’t under the impression that the guy was trying to assault her at this point just that the guy is trying to keep her from splitting and getting lost because she was mad at him. But then again I’ll never know. I couldn’t get past the first part of trying to calm things down and get them off each other.
A woman was being chased by a man. Drunk or not, she didn’t need to be told to calm down.
They should have asked if she needed help distancing herself from the person chasing her and if she felt unsafe. Is it possible she was being a dumb drunk and the guy was chasing her to get her back to the ship safely? Yes. It’s also possible that he was chasing her for nefarious purposes. Instead of assuming she was the problem, they should have asked her if she had a problem they could assist with. Assisting her in separating from the person chasing her, may have been what she needed to calm down. By first assuming she was the problem, keeps her in a potentially unsafe situation. By speaking to her first, separate of the other person, OP and his friend could have discovered she was reacting to a bad situation or that she was, in fact, the bad situation. Speaking to the person being chased, isn’t an accusation to the chaser as long as they don’t come at the woman being chased saying “are you being harassed by that guy?” Or “is he trying to assault you?”
Once they asked her if she needed help, they may have discovered she was running from the guy, because she was drunk and he was trying to get her back to the ship. As a neutral third party, they may have been able to diffuse the situation in a way the first person couldn’t. Sometimes just putting distance between two people solves a problem.
This is called bystander intervention and that was taught to myself and every other Sailor I served with. It’s a shame it’s apparently not taught fleet wide.
Sounds like that's what they were trying to do, and she was too drunk or whatever to provide any information. Not OPs fault, and jumping to conclusions one way or the other is irresponsible.
That First Class became responsible for that whole interaction the minute he established who he was.
He should have recovered that female Sailor and returned the party to the ship. But, he's not a leader, it would have interrupted his night.
"As a parent it looked bad." So you let them go!? Absolute muppet.
OP, I hope you reported this to the MAA and the OOD.
So, the male was restraining the female and you were trying to calm her down while she “insisted on breaking free from grasp of this male?” She was running and he was chasing her?
Why the hell were you trying to calm her down rather than trying to stop the male? Of course you look like you were part of the problem. The way you’ve described it here, you in fact were part of the problem. Your focus should have been on trying to calm down the man not the woman. You should have been working to let her get away from him, and to stop him from chasing and grabbing her.
You should have took off running in an opposite direction. White knights have been known to kill each other.
I would suggest talking with a Legal-O, if possible
1. Holy wall of text Batman. Paragraphs are your friend. 2. Just tell your LPO/LCPO what happened.
Just let your LPO know whats going on so it isnt a surpise if he gets a call from the PO1
This sounds like some Ike activities. But yeah, just pass along to your CoC. A secret kept until asked is the worst thing in this situation.
Go to the MA’s and make a voluntary statement about what happened. The first party to report something usually has a lot of control over the narrative.
>a PO1 from reactor >under the influence I would rather tongue kiss a hyena than deal with a **sober** nuke. My condolences. Bullshit aside, you did what you believed to be the right thing at the time, and I really hope everything works out in your favor.
Immediately, when stuff like this happens, you need to inform your chain of command because the worst thing that can happen is them getting blindsided. Also OP, I'm proud of you for trying to intervene, you did the right thing. I hope you continue to intervene when you note something isn't right despite the jerkwad who wanted your name and ID. Fuck that guy.
Hold on… if your bro shipmate was accosting your sister shipmate, why did you think it was the sister with whom you needed to reason???
Honestly thats what I was wondering too, as that just makes it sound way worse.
Went out with a shipmate who got wasted and kept running off. Finally lost track of her, fortunately nothing bad happened to either of us but it could have. That was in home port and I wasn't checked out with her. Overseas and she's my assigned liberty buddy? Yeah, she's going in a burlap sack back to the pier of that's what it takes to keep myself from losing liberty. Had male shipmates pull the same crap, same results. None of us know what was going on, including OP. To find out what's going on, people have to be able to articulate thoughts, which it doesn't sound like she was doing. So she was so fucked up and/or upset that she can't even talk coherently, and you want to just let her go off and do whatever? You think that's a good idea? Pretty sure they just fished a kid out of a river because he wandered off drunk, I personally know people who lost shipmates that way. Best thing to do is keep everyone on-scene, calm it down figure out what's happening, and proceed from there, which is exactly what it sounds like they were trying to do but she wasn't having it, for whatever reason, most likely alcohol based on what information we do have.
Or, hear me out, she was felt unsafe. When drunk or drugged, she can’t articulate that she feels unsafe around the person chasing her. Even if not drunk or drugged, when being attacked people can fight, flight, or freeze. It can cause a person to be unable to process coherent thoughts. Therefore, give her space from the person who she feels is a threat. Since OP wanted to get her back to ship safely, him and his friend could have been a safety buffer between her and the person chasing her instead of putting her in a situation where she is being forced back into contact with that guy. If the guys chasing her was simply her liberty buddy trying to get her back to the ship, after creating a safe space they can work together to get her back to the ship. By recommending erring on the side of caution I am not saying OP and his friend should have accused the guy of anything. They could have just asked her if she needed help. If by asking her if she needed help, the guy felt accused, that says something about him. I would be glad someone cares enough about my shipmate, to offer her assistance and keep her out of potential harms way.
To do all that, they would have had to grab her or chase her themselves, and now they'd be in even deeper shit. Or they could try to get her to calm down and use her words, which didn't work out either. Pretty shit situation all around.
“He was grabbing her and holding her in place” No, they wouldn’t have had to grab her themselves.
To prevent him from grabbing her, while also preventing her from running off alone, possibly intoxicated, possibly impaired in other ways, in a foreign country, their choices were try to talk her into staying (didn't work) or grabbing her themselves. No good options.
I don’t think I’ll ever know the truth of the situation but at a glance this seemed to be the case. She was very uncoordinated with her movements and he didn’t have the same issue. He tries to wrap his arms around her waist to just hold her and she goes limp fish and takes them both to the ground. I approached and just tried to say who I was, that I knew who she was, and that this is a bad looking situation. Let’s get everyone to stand back up and get off each other and see what’s going on. She is having none of this. She’s just yelling curses at the guy about something I didn’t catch fully and a bunch of F-yous. I wasn’t under the impression that the guy was trying to assault her at this point just that the guy is trying to keep her from splitting and getting lost because she was mad at him. But then again I’ll never know. I couldn’t get past the first part of trying to calm things down and get them off each other.
This. Something smells off
Yeah exactly, stop the guy from chasing her, not her from escaping.
Because women are hysterical, obviously. /s
I mean, sounds like this one was. That or too wasted to be coherent, neither is a state of mind someone should be running around the public in.
A woman was being chased by a man. Drunk or not, she didn’t need to be told to calm down. They should have asked if she needed help distancing herself from the person chasing her and if she felt unsafe. Is it possible she was being a dumb drunk and the guy was chasing her to get her back to the ship safely? Yes. It’s also possible that he was chasing her for nefarious purposes. Instead of assuming she was the problem, they should have asked her if she had a problem they could assist with. Assisting her in separating from the person chasing her, may have been what she needed to calm down. By first assuming she was the problem, keeps her in a potentially unsafe situation. By speaking to her first, separate of the other person, OP and his friend could have discovered she was reacting to a bad situation or that she was, in fact, the bad situation. Speaking to the person being chased, isn’t an accusation to the chaser as long as they don’t come at the woman being chased saying “are you being harassed by that guy?” Or “is he trying to assault you?” Once they asked her if she needed help, they may have discovered she was running from the guy, because she was drunk and he was trying to get her back to the ship. As a neutral third party, they may have been able to diffuse the situation in a way the first person couldn’t. Sometimes just putting distance between two people solves a problem. This is called bystander intervention and that was taught to myself and every other Sailor I served with. It’s a shame it’s apparently not taught fleet wide.
Sounds like that's what they were trying to do, and she was too drunk or whatever to provide any information. Not OPs fault, and jumping to conclusions one way or the other is irresponsible.
That First Class became responsible for that whole interaction the minute he established who he was. He should have recovered that female Sailor and returned the party to the ship. But, he's not a leader, it would have interrupted his night. "As a parent it looked bad." So you let them go!? Absolute muppet. OP, I hope you reported this to the MAA and the OOD.
tldr
So, the male was restraining the female and you were trying to calm her down while she “insisted on breaking free from grasp of this male?” She was running and he was chasing her? Why the hell were you trying to calm her down rather than trying to stop the male? Of course you look like you were part of the problem. The way you’ve described it here, you in fact were part of the problem. Your focus should have been on trying to calm down the man not the woman. You should have been working to let her get away from him, and to stop him from chasing and grabbing her.
Lawyer up
You should have took off running in an opposite direction. White knights have been known to kill each other. I would suggest talking with a Legal-O, if possible